Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 49

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 49

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 49
Twilighted :: All-Inclusive, High-Quality Twilight Fan Fiction






Your donations help keep this site running,
thank you very much for the support!
Reviews For Messier-82
Reviewer: DaSrO (Signed) · Date: December 04, 2011 04:34 PM · On: Chapter 1

Really cute :-) a little OOC for Jasper to be boss around a ten year old after 15minutes but I'll allow it ;-) hehe



Author's Response:

I'm glad you found your way over to this story! Thanks for the review :)

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: December 02, 2011 05:20 PM · On: Chapter 11

  'I had been back for a week now and I was already itching to leave now that the danger was gone. I wanted to return to my old life-style and my old ways and leave all of my new responsibilities behind, but I could not.'        Already unconfortable there.  The next years will be difficult.        :-|

  Hmm, it looks like Aro did hit the mark with Alec, if not with Jane, about being friends with Alice.  And I share Jasper's disappointment towards Carlisle.  Leaving Alice alone was negligent.

  Or did he reallize Alec was trustworthy before Jasper?

  'He thought that I was selfish enough to risk her life by not changing her when she was in danger, and all so that I would not be stuck with a child for a mate.'        There is the other side of the coin: change her too soon, and she won't ever have a mate, either him or anyone else.  Is he selfish enough to do that?

  “At the other end of the spectrum, if we wait too long and the human is too old, too set in his ways, then he can never learn to obey. Just look at Carlisle: he already had his morals firmly in place and now he can never enjoy the taste of a hardy meal."        Hmm, it makes sense.  Still, I don't think many people, even at Carlisle's age or older, would resist the call of blood as he did.  I still think he is special.

  Aro is utterly self-serving, but I have to give him that: he have a good understanding of things.  I hope his words will make Jasper rethink his views.  Can't wait for his denial to stop.  The idea of changing Alice now would be a Edward-level mistake.        :-P



Author's Response:

I don't think Carlisle thought twice about leaving Alice with Alec- he just instinctively knew that the boy was harmless...maybe he learned that on his first visit to Volterra.

Jasper won't be changing Alice too soon, but he had to consider it in order to rule it out, because that's part of his military nature: he considers all possibilities in order to determine the best one. But I think Aro's words will help him understand himself more and why he struggles with his own control. If he figures out that will-power is all in his head, plus he left Maria earlier and had to deal with the pressures of keeping his Alice alive (because failure is not an option there), then I think he will be a completely different creature by the time Bella comes along. He won't be the weak link anymore.

Carlisle is special because of his morals and determination, nothing more. He believed so strongly in the value of human life that he was able to resist. He had no forwarning like Bella did, so there is no chance that he could have her type of control. His control is all in his head and he was mature enough to cling to his values despite the call of blood. Most people don't have a moral code as strong as Carlisle's was and they don't have the determination and will-power to stick to it, the way Carlilse did. And most people would not think to run away from humans and hide in the woods the way Carlisle did.

Thanks for the review :)

Reviewer: deltagirl (Signed) · Date: November 27, 2011 06:15 PM · On: Chapter 11

I'm glad the threat of Victoria and James is over. I'm kinda surprised that Jasper even thought about going back to his old life, thought he was happier with Alice. Even though Jasper totally trusts Alice's visions, I'm surprised that he is so against them being together when she is older. I can understand him having a hard time with it since she is so young but she won't be young forever. This nice, helpful Aro kinda freaks me out-- what is he really up to?

Author's Response:

Jasper is still in major denile about his relatioship with Alice, so he was thinking things he did not mean- he would never have left Alice. I don't think Jasper can imagine Alice as an adult yet- he just sees the innocent little girl and he can't picture a relationship. Don't worry, he'll come around once it starts happening :)

Aro is up to imprisoning Alice and Jasper within his Guard and he is being nice and helpful so that they don't realize they are prisoners and so that they don't decide they want to escape. That and he's crazy- absolutely nuts, but he would have to be if he were five thousand years old and could read every thought everyone he has ever touched has had and could never forget any of it.

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 27, 2011 01:23 PM · On: Chapter 10

  “Victoria was already sentenced to death! She was a member of Hilda’s coven with Heidi, but instead of agreeing to repent, she bolted with the rest of her guilty coven. Demetri was never able to track that one down”        Interesting.  I wonder why were they sentenced.

  'Aro considered himself Alec and Jane’s father and he informed me that he wished to add me to his list of children. The twins were only a year older than me, in human years, and he thought the three of us ought to play together.'        Aro must have some screws loose.        :-P

  The gallstone is made from Sulpicia's venom?  What, she bites him that often?  They have a lot of fun together, I see.        :-}

  Jasper will lay a trap for Victoria.  I hope it will work better, this time, compared with Alice's visions in the boat.  Is Alice's terror pure panic, or did she really see it going wrong?

  And am I getting it right that Esme will be changed sooner than planned?  Oh well, if this is the case, eighteen isn't a bad age, at least.  Still a shame, though.        :-|



Author's Response:

The story of Hilda's coven is in the Guide- basically it was a big coven and Aro saw it as a threat, plus he wanted Heidi, so he sentenced the coven to death. Heidi rependted and Victoria ran and everyone else died.

Aro does have several screws loose...I like him best that way.

The venom is swallowed during kissing- I must've forgotten to mention that. Sulpicia doesn't bit him and the stones aren't really from the venom, Aro just thinks they are. If you want to know where they really come from, you'll have to read my other story. Shameless plug.

Mostly Alice is just over-reacting, but I think any eleven year old would if her Jasper were going to come face to face with Victoria.

Esme will not be changed yet- Aro is pressuring Carlisle to change her, but Carlisle will not comply, although Esme will get changed a little earlier than planned...I've decided to change her along with Edward, which will be Esme's adopted son. It's all thanks to Jasper traumatizing Carlisle and convincing him not to try to have sex with a human, so there won't be any hybrids and we'll get Edward instead.

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Orela (Signed) · Date: November 24, 2011 12:15 AM · On: Chapter 10

Write more, please :)



Author's Response:

It's always good to hear from a new reviewer- thank you for taking the time!

Right now I'm stuck with what happens after the Cullens leave Volterra and pick up Edward. I've decided that they should then meet the Denalis and move to Alaska, but I haven't had any inspiration for an Alaskan adventure and Alice is still too young to change. Any ideas?

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 16, 2011 04:44 AM · On: Chapter 9

  'There you are! I was hoping I hadn't lost you with all of the delays! I submitted the next chapter already, but with my beta's continuing computer problems, I'm not sure how long it will take.'

  Oh, don't worry, you won't lose me.  Unless your story suddenly becomes trash, which I don't see happening with you in the driver seat.        ;)

  It just happens that RL sometimes gets in the way of readers/reviewers too, that's all.  Hence my delay.        ^_^

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 15, 2011 10:21 AM · On: Chapter 9

  "And I should have destroyed Alistair too, for his betrayal..."        Well, it would have been less painful to him if it was Jasper.        :-|

  "Then that's out. The only chance we've got of savin' your friends's to get ‘em all to join up with us and take her down as a group."(...)        "Teaming up with Carlisle's friends will just result in Victoria picking us off one at a time. Well that and she has decided to take a page from Maria's book and make a Newborn Army of her own."        Geez!  Your Victoria is on steroids!        :-P

  Asking for help from Aro...  And Alice doesn't see themselves being free to leave once she is changed.  Each time they solve a problem, they're entangled in another, aren't they?

  But it was interesting to see Alice defending the continuation of Jasper drinking animals.  A change in her speech.        :)

  '"You better go and feed my pet human," I teased letting go of Alice.        "Just wait until we're in Volterra and I convince Aro that you're my pet," she retorted'        *snickers*        X-)

  Presuming Aro is already greedy and deceitful at this point, I suppose their next step is to plan their escape from Volterra, once they feel like leaving.

  I know, I know.  Too far ahead.        ;)



Author's Response:

There you are! I was hoping I hadn't lost you with all of the delays! I submitted the next chapter already, but with my beta's continuing computer problems, I'm not sure how long it will take.

Yes, things do just keep getting worse...That's kinda why I chose the name of the story- Alice just keeps getting sucked into black holes, i.e. vampires.

I don't think Aro's all bad- he's going to bring in a bit of humor with his crayness and he is a huge wealth of knowledge- although both Jasper and Alice are going to feel trapped with their situation. But utimately, Alice needs to pass a lot of time so that she can grow up and be an adult before she is changed, and spending a few years with Aro will help move that along. I think Carlisle has already taught Alice a lot, which was why she has switched to the pro-vegatarian side. He'll still be there, but now Aro will have his chance to teach Alice too...and maybe he might have some lessons for Jasper to learn as well...

I still don't have the timeline of this story complete, but I'm now fairly certain which direction it's heading, so I think you are correct in that there will eventually have to be an escape from Volterra. I've been busy writing the lead up to that, because the Cullens are going to need a few more allies before they can take on the Volturi and win.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 02, 2011 01:13 PM · On: Chapter 8

  Damn, but James is nothing if not obsessed.  I think it is what happens when you have eternity, and nothing to do with it.        :-/

  'I do not know why James decided to visit New York City that March, but that was just what he did. His sixth sense must have told him there was some clue for him to find there and I saw him finding just that: mine and Jasper’s scent on the dock.'        How could he find it?  I mean, didn't it rain there all these months?

  'Alistair sensed the gap between us closing in, and despite our best efforts to reassure him that we were still fine, he had decided to bolt.'        I imagined he wouldn't be with them for long.        :)

  Jasper got James?  Absolutely cool!!  Well, it would be, if it wasn't for Victoria entering the warpath and Alistair becoming toast.  Geez, she is scarier than James!  The feeling I get from this chapter is that their situation worsened.  A lot!   I guess they will face their own Eclipse, with Alice in Bella's role.        :-|



Author's Response: Yes, Vistoria is absolutely worse than James. The situation is slightly different, because Victoria has the names of all of Carlisle's friends to go after if she can't get Alice and she hasn't gotten the idea for a newborn army yet. As for how the sent is still there- if it rains, even a lot, I think there is still a small chance that the scent moleculars remain. And some areas are a little more sheltered from the rain, like near building, and since James has passed their scent a bunch of times and not caught it, I think it was about time he found something.

Reviewer: deltagirl (Signed) · Date: October 27, 2011 12:31 PM · On: Chapter 8

It's amazing that Alice isn't really crazy from all of her visions and the stress. For some reason, Victoria seems more ruthless than James.

Author's Response: Yes, Victoria does seem worse. I think it was because it was just a game to James: something to occupy his time to keep the boredom at bay. But for Victoria, it's revenge. I think having Jasper around helps keep Alice sane :) Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: October 09, 2011 05:37 PM · On: Chapter 7

  'It seemed that Carlisle was correct in his insistence that animal blood could be used as a source of sustenance for vampires, as well as a number of other things, so I was beginning to appreciate Alice's inclusion of the man into our little coven.'        This sentence puzzled me.  What, did he think Carlisle was lying?  That he cheated now and then?

  I can't imagine how they conviced Alistair to go with then on the boat.  I mean, what is in it for him?  Are Carlisle and him such good friends?        :-/

    'But why would I think about that when Carlisle and I were talking about him and Esme? The situations were completely different.'        Yeah, keep telling yourself that.        X-)

  You made me laugh every time Jasper was unconfortable with Esme and Carlisle, and his attempts to sabotage them.  Well, except for the part where Carlisle was hurt.  Poor Carlisle indeed.  I hope it doesn't leave scars between them.  And I think he was a bit envious.        ;-P

  Mermaids?  Are you serious?  Well, it could be interesting, if you want to expand our mythical world like that.  And Esme...  I don't know.  She didn't "speak" much yet.  I would bet in the wedding part, but I don't think she is scared.  Not out of her mind, at least.  Maybe giving her a POV one of these days would be a good idea.        :)



Author's Response:

Jasper still has not been with Carlisle long, so he is just now getting over his disbelief from Alice first told him. I do think he was supicious that Carlisle was drinking the animals and snacks to get him inbetween real meals, but now he believes.

I can't imagine why Alistair came to Forks in Breaking Dawn. But Edward says in that book that Carlisle is Alistairs best and many only friend. A very big part of why he agreed was that secret conversation with Carlisle, so we don't really know what happened there. But I think Alistair's gift allows him to sense immediate danger and he agrees initially because Carlisle is proposing to go away from the danger. I also don't think he's sane and so one side agrees to help while the other side wants to run, which is what I decided must have happened in Breaking Dawn.

Yes, Jasper was envious of Carlisle's mate. There won't be any long lasting scars between Jasper and Carlisle, although Carlisle won't be so quick to forgive if something like this happens again. Mostly that scene is needed to explain why Carlisle is turning into an Eunich. He's still turned on by Esme, but after that night, he won't be caught dry humping her leg.

Well I was thinking the mermaids would just be vampires who liked to take to the sea to kill whole ships full of people. Maybe a few adaptations, like webbed fingers, but no tail. But I also don't see them fitting into the story here. Maybe Aro will tell us about them when they get to Volterra.

I think Esme is a bit shy right now. She talks to Carlisle alone a lot, and she spends time with Alice, but I think she's still scared of Jasper and especially Alistair.

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: September 07, 2011 10:37 AM · On: Chapter 6

  'If that was true, then why was James trying to kill me when I had never even harmed a fly? The answer was simple:  Carlisle was wrong, and this was a take-what-you-can-grab kind of world.'        Eeeeshh!  Carlisle will have trouble with this one.        :-]

  '"If we're goin' to travel the world in our flight from James, we might as well see it," Jasper had said as we spent countless hours doing the sightseeing thing.'        Good philosophy.        :)

  It must be strange for the Irish Coven to have such unusual guests in their house, and not for the weekly meal.        :-P

  "Oh, Jazz! I had no idea drinking humans was so awful for you! I only know how it will be for me once I'm turned. I'm so sorry!"        "It's okay darlin'. It's not your fault. And if all animals are as emotionless as these sheep, then I have found a solution. I don't mind the bland taste so much because the feeling more than makes up for that."        Hmm, maybe Jasper will help Carlisle in Alice's education, after all.  Good to know he is taking well after the new diet.        :)

  Alice is incredible.  The plan with the jackets is remarkable.  Of course, I don't know if the men who will carry then to Juan would agree.        :-3

  Alistair?  I wonder why will they look for him.  About what will he think, I bet he will not be happy with the visits, humans or no humans.  Well, unless he thinks they are snacks Jasper and Carlisle are bringing to him out of courtesy.        X-)



Author's Response:

Yes, I think the Irish coven was surprised at first, but I also think they quickly recovered and ended up quite cordial, considering. Plus Siobhan wanted it to work out, because she wanted to have guests over. With Siobhan willing it to work out, how could it not?

 

I think Jasper may still struggle with the animal diet, if he is exposed to humans again. But right now he's pretty determined to make it work and he will be on that ship for awhile, so there will be no opprunities for mistakes.

 

LOL, Jasper and Carlisle better watch their humans around Alistair. But no, there is a real chance Alistair might help them- Alice sees it after all.

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: deltagirl (Signed) · Date: September 04, 2011 06:29 AM · On: Chapter 6

I love this story. Alice and Carlisle warring over religion is so funny. I love how Jasper always steps in to keep Alice happy and safe.

Author's Response:

Thanks, I'm glad you are enjoying the story! I think as the adult and the head of the coven, Carlisle would have a lot to say, but Alice is very opinionated for a little girl, so I keep seeing the two of them debating about everything.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: August 09, 2011 03:35 PM · On: Chapter 5

  'If I drank Esme's family, the sheriff would just assume Esme was murdered with the rest of them. But if her family were murdered, she would never agree to come with us, so I quickly brushed off that thought as I continued to run.'        Jeez!  *shiver along the spine*

  "I left a note to my boss at the hospital explaining that I quit because I am running away with the Platt girl. Esme will write a similar note that we are running off to get married. Her family and the townsfolk will be scandalized but think nothing of it after a few months pass."        Very good!  Ah, I bet the town's girls will think it's soooo romantic...        :-P

  And at least she ran away with a doctor.  I imagine it will help to appease her parents.

  "A friend has contacted me, asking for my help to hide a little girl from a serial killer, so we are leaving for Europe this morning. I would come back for you, but I am so worried that the murderer will come across you when he comes to town looking for the girl. I could never forgive myself if you were placed in harm's way because of me."        Heheheh!  Not even a single lie here, if you think about it.        ;)

  'And since we were doing the whole sappy display of affection thing, I went over and picked out a child's necklace with a flower pendent on it for Alice. I chose a necklace because I had no intention of promising Alice anything of the sort that Carlisle had just promised Esme.(...)  The more she alluded to it, the more I felt a queasy sensation and wondered if it was possible for vampires to vomit.'        Stubborn.        X-)

  'I guessed Esme was smarter than most and had figured out our little secret in just a short week. She must have over heard Carlisle and me discussing hunting while we thought she was asleep.'        Ah, I would love to see Esme's POV of the exact moment she realized what they were...

  And Carlisle and Esme begin their parental role with Alice.  Sweet!  "Tasty snack"...  Jeez!        ^_^

  And Esme may have been a little gullible but, at least this time, it was the best thing she could be.  Ain't I right?        ;)

  Let's see how this singular little family evolves.  I wonder if Jasper will have an easier time with the vegetarian diet, since he began earlier...



Author's Response:

Esme is pretty smart, so I don't imagine she went more than a day or two trapped in a hot air balloon with a pair of vampires before she figured it out. And in the long run you are right- her life turns out infinitely better because she trusted Carlisle. Not only will her own tragedies not happen, but now she gets to take care of little Alice and satisfy that mothering urge of hers :)

How Jasper's life is affected is a tough one. He was with Maria for less than 50 years and never reached that deep depression, so he is a little happier and more at peace with himself- he's a little less damaged. And that depression was what made him turn to vegetarianism, but I choose to think that Jasper would have found his conscience no matter what. Edward, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, and Bella all followed Carlisle because they were born into that lifestyle, but Jasper and Alice actually chose it on their own, which makes their decision so much more meaningful. Now their history has changed, but the people are the same, so I think they will end up making the same choices. And Jasper has something very important to take his mind off of his diet- saving Alice- so hopefully he will not struggle so much with the transition. Although, if he’s stuck out on a boat with no humans other than Alice and Esme, he really does not have any opportunities to slip. Even if Alice was bleeding, I don't think Jasper could harm her.

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: July 28, 2011 10:17 AM · On: Chapter 4

  Hey, Z!  About my comments concerning hybrids, I was just pointing their ignorance on the subject.  Not that the idea of Esme and/or Alice having one is not intriguing, but it was not really a suggestion.

  And you "hope" Carlisle and Esme will adopt Edward?  Oh, let me guess!  They did not tell you what will happen yet, right?        :-P



Author's Response:

Yep, none of the characters in this story have told me yet how it will end. I see the little coven making a detour in Volterra and nothing after that. But that is still five chapters out, so I'm hopeful that by the time I post it, everyone will start talking to me again. Just this week Jasper told me that he hates Aro, so there is hope, I think.

Thanks for the reply!

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: July 25, 2011 06:31 PM · On: Chapter 4

  'He would not be lonely for much longer because he was about to get a coven of four, but I could not tell Jasper that. If Jasper knew these two would be my vampire parents, he would be jealous and not want to go. But if everyone came to that realization on their own, then everything would work out perfectly.'        Sooo...  She lied to Jasper.  She never intended to abandon Carlisle and Esme's company.  *snicker*  Well, if it works out for everyone in the end, Jasper included...        P-)

  'And I knew that I could not come back for them later, because Carlisle was about to make the biggest mistake of his life. If he left Esme, she would die young, and then there would only be a father out there for me.'        Hmm, she doesn't see Carlisle changing Esme later after her suicide attempt, like happened in the original story?

  'Jasper and I must have made quite the sight because Carlisle's jaw dropped to the ground, and he stared at us for seconds before catching himself and saying, "Good evening. How can I help you?"'        Heheheh!

 "But I cannot have children, and if I turn her, she will not be able to, either."        Boy, he have no idea!  Not that it would be a safe move, truth be told.        :)

  '"And just what is your relationship to Alice?"        "We're mates,"        "No, we are not!"'        *giggle*

  Yay!!  Things are set, Carlisle agreed!  Wonderful!

  About Esme...  I don't know this part of the story very well.  Was she as drawn to Carlisle as he was to her?  If so, I suppose she can be convinced.  But...  What am I saying?  With Alice in charge, this is praticaly done!        :-P



Author's Response:

I don't think Alice really lied to Jasper- he would know if she did-she more of bent the truth.

Carlisle does not decide to change Esme until she is in the morgue after the suicide attempt, so I don't think Alice would be able to see the original ending yet. She mostly sees Emse's future husband beating her to death and only a small chance of suicide.

I know I've set this story up for the possiblity of hybrid children, but Jasper and Carlisle are not Edward and Esme and Alice are not Bella, so I'm hoping everyone keeps it in their pants until after everyone is changed, so I don't have to write hybrids. Although, I'm not even close to figuring out the end of this story, so there could still be hybrids lying in wait. Personally, I'm hoping Carlisle changes Edward and he and Esme adopt him instead of having children of their own.

From what I've read of Emse's story, she was in love with Carlisle from the beginning and refused to find a husband because of it. A marriage was eventually arranged for her, but by then all of the non-abusive ones were taken. But still, she is only sixteen at this point and I don't think that she is the type to run away from her family- all of the unhapiness has not even started for her yet, so there may need to be some manuevering on Alice's part to get everything to work out the way she wants!

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: deltagirl (Signed) · Date: July 23, 2011 05:50 PM · On: Chapter 4

Alice and Jasper are so funny together. Even though he hurt her feelings, she was "creepin" him out lol. I like this approach to the J/A story.

Author's Response:

Thanks for the review, I'm glad you liked it! It's good to know that some of my faithful readers have found their way over to my new story!

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: July 17, 2011 08:18 AM · On: Chapter 3

  Sly, that little letter Jasper sent to Maria.  The part where Alice 'sees' her taking Mexico city will specially be a massage on her ego.        :-]

  Nice try of Jasper, trying to evoke romantic dreams of marriage in Alice.  Heh, like she would quit on him that easily!

  '“Is that possible? Can you even have children?” Alice asked me curiously.        “I can’t,” I replied sadly.'        As far as he knows, at least.        ;)

  '“Cynthia ruined everything.”        “How so? You can tell me.”        “Before Cynthia came along, it was just me and Momma and Father. Everything was fine then.”        “And it’s not now?”        “No. Momma’s sad and Cynthia always cries. And Father was never home. I had to promise to help him sell his pearls in order to get him to take me with him. Anything so I wouldn’t have to be stuck in that house with Momma and that baby.”'        Her mom always sad...  I will guess post-partum depression.

  “Tell her to build her army back up to twenty this year and double it every year after, if possible. Once she has an army of sixty, we’ll sneak back over the border, and I’ll hide in plain sight behind her numbers. James and Victoria will be forced to come straight through her army to get to me. Maria’ll believe this plan for years before she realizes that we’re never coming back”        Again, crafty Alice.  She rivals Jasper in strategy, if not surpasses him.        :)

  “Without Esme, his human, he’ll grow increasingly lonely. But if we go to him and tell him what’ll happen to Esme if he leaves, then he’ll keep her by his side as a human until she’s older. He’ll not change her even though she’s sixteen: he’ll wait until she’s in her twenties before changing. So, he’ll be in the same position as you and I.”        Now that is interesting.  She will change Carlisle and Esme's destiny too, sparing Esme from that ill-fated marriage?  Cool!        ^_^

  '“Yes, he’s absolutely safe.(...) He even drinks animals; how barbaric.” She said this last bit with disgust.'        Barbaric, huh?  Geez, she even talks like a red-eye.        :-p

  Next chapter seems promising.  I imagine how bewildered Carlisle will be by Alice.        X-)



Author's Response:

Yes, Alice's mother definitely had postparum depression, which I think was the source of the problems at home.

And yes, Esme will now have a very different life if Alice gets her way. Alice really does think like she is already a vampire, so Carlisle is going to have to bring the humanity back into her.

Thanks for the review! Some of the stuff in the middle, with Jasper asking Alice about her future, I wrote based on your last review, so I'm glad you liked it!

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: July 03, 2011 02:24 PM · On: Chapter 2

  'Now that I was aware of the fact that this child knew our secret, it was my duty to see that she not live long enough to tell. But, as soon as this thought ran through my head, it was followed by, ‘Not her;’ although why this latter thought would occur to me was yet another conundrum.'        Heheh!

  'There was something about this young girl that had me wanting more, and when the good sheriff left, I realized what that something was: her emotions.(...) It was like she was feeling in color while everyone else felt in black and white; her emotions were just that much more vivid and vibrant.(...)        But it was her hope that did me in, as I quickly found myself leaning in closer in order to catch a more potent whiff of the emotion. It was like my own personal brand of heroin.'        Better her emotion than her blood.        ;)

  “Yes, I’ve always seen you. Momma said my first word was Jasper. She was a little mad that it wasn’t Momma.”        Wow!  When she says she has always seen him, she is not kidding!        :-]

  '“You don’t mind my huntin’?”        “No, why would I mind? You need to drink, and I know it’s dangerous to be around a feeding vampire.”        “It doesn’t bother you that I kill people?”        “No. Do you want it to?”        “No, it’s fine. It’s just weird; most humans are frightened of vampires and would be repulsed if they knew about my feeding activities.”        She just shrugged in reply before bending down to pick up a dandelion as if she had not a care in the world. How this tiny human could be so cavalier about my hunting needs, I would never understand.'        Hmmm...  Too young and too used through her visions, I suppose?

  Maybe Jasper can ask her how will be their future as mates, as she see it; wavering a bit in his conviction that she is wrong, perhaps?        :)

  Personally, I'm curious if they will join the Cullens in this timeline.



Author's Response:

Yes, Alice and Jasper join Carlisle very soon, but Edward and the others are still human and I haven't gotten nearly that far in the timeline :)

I'm going to leave Alice's strange behavior about Jasper's hunting activities for Carlisle to deal with once he shows up. It does have to do with her visions being such a part of her that she doesn't even see it as wrong, so it doesn't bother her yet.

Jasper has a lot of years left to go and he needs his denial for a while yet to help him get through it, but maybe he will ask about the future and use it to reaffirm his denial...

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Right now you seem to be the only one enjoying the story, so I'll just write it for you :)

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: May 29, 2011 03:48 PM · On: Chapter 1

  Geez, such dire straits for a 10 year old girl to be in.  Tracked by a sadistic vampire, herself tracking another vampire just as lethal.      :-{

  'I headed straight for the town sheriff – who luckily for me had the IQ of a bag of beans – and knocked on the door.'        Even at 10, she is devious!        :-]

  '“I won’t let him hurt you. I don’t reckon I know what has gotten into me today, but I will not suffer your loss, even though we just met,” he revealed, and I let out a sigh of relief, knowing that he felt it, too.(...) Deep down, he must have sensed that I was right.'        Interesting.  I suppose it explains why he accepted her arguments so easily.        :)

  “You’re not meant to fight with Maria and leave the wars for several decades yet.(...)  In another few decades, the emotional turmoil will make you depressed until Maria will no longer be able to stand your presence. Then she’ll try to kill you.”        So, basically, James messed Twilight as it should be, by deciding to go to Alice's hometown early.  

  'But with my visions, I knew the best places to sell each pearl in order to obtain the highest selling price, so I doubled my father’s profits.'        Stop there!  He knew?  And made use of it?  What a difference to commiting her to the asylum.      :)

  “Maria will want my power. Tell her that I’m psychic and wish to join her coven and be her third in command."        Man, she thought about just everything!

  "You should leave me in the woods while you go hunt in town, and then we can travel a little further west tonight."        Hmm, she doesn't have a problem with him hunting, does her?

  'Besides, I really did see my family being better off without me. I couldn’t see details that far into the future, but I could see enough to know that something bad – and not just James – was awaiting my parents if I were to stay.'        What is she talking about?

  Interesting begining.



Author's Response: Thank you so much for the detailed review! Knowing how this story is received will help me greatly with getting the next chapter out :) The something bad that would happen if Alice were to stay, is referring to Alice's story from the official guide- she stays and her father has her mother killed. Alice can't see it yet, but she has a bad feeling because of it. When she decided to leave, it forced her parents to bond over her loss and fall in love all over again- so now they will live happily ever after without trying to kill each other. So Alice finally saw their future clear up, explaining we she won't return- if she does, they will just start fighting again. It wasn't really something that I could fit into chapter one, but I wanted to mention it. With a psychic as the main character, everything needs to be foreshadowed like 3 chapters ahead of time :) I'm working on the next chapter, but its from JJasper's POV, and I haven't gotten it quite right yet...

You must login (register) to review.




Share/Save/Bookmark


© 2008, 2009 Twilighted Enterprises, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.
Privacy Policy | Terms of Service

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.