Your donations help keep this site running,
thank you very much for the support!
Reviews For Messier-82
Reviewer: RedPenWriter (Signed) · Date: June 18, 2012 06:38 PM · On: Chapter 4

If they move to England, how will they find Edward? I wonder...



Author's Response:

They'll move back :)

Reviewer: RedPenWriter (Signed) · Date: June 18, 2012 05:44 PM · On: Chapter 2

Okay, I know that you know this, but this is SO not Alice's past...



Author's Response:

Yep, I know that. Thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: xanath (Signed) · Date: May 04, 2012 04:28 PM · On: Chapter 1

I have read gallstones and am reading bezoars, can't wait for the next chapter.

Xanath (Alexandra/Zandra)

Reviewer: xanath (Signed) · Date: May 04, 2012 11:54 AM · On: Chapter 20

I have had fun reading this story.  It wascool that it was not from Bella and Edward's point of view and they were sort of and afterthought.  I also liked that Rose and Emmet stayed human and had lots of children.

Xanath



Author's Response:

Thanks! With all of the poorly written Edward/Bella stories out there I've started to shy away from them. I like that I gave Rosalie the happily ever after she always wanted, but I still think there is a happily ever after that she wants more, but just doesn't know it yet (gall stone and Bezoars).

-Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: March 28, 2012 12:10 AM · On: Chapter 20

  'Who could possibly be stupid enough to attack us here? And why had Alice not seen it? Okay, well I know how she missed it, because she has seen nothing but sex and blood since I turned her. I created a monster.'        Heheheh!

  '“The Romanians and Egyptians were attacking Volterra,” Alice announced. We would have been caught in the middle of it if not for our little hunting trip.'        *chuckles*  All the pieces fall into place when it comes to these two.        :)

  “Easy: I’m a newborn and I didn’t see it. I wasn’t exactly looking, but all I’ve seen since my transformation is blood and …um…well Jasper.”        Hehe!!        :-P

  'In that letter you wrote me you said that he was very important to our species. Why didn’t Aro want him for his own and come after him?”        “I just wrote that so that you’d change my brother. We’re gonna be best friends,” Alice said winking at Edward.'        HAHAHAHAHAAAAAHHH!!!  Why, the little cheater...        X-D

  '“Alice, are you sure he’s your brother? Wouldn’t you’d rather I skin him and use his hide to make you a pretty new pair of leather shoes? They’d sparkle real nice in the sun and never wear out,” I asked, urging her to think that this was a good idea, because I had no desire to spend eternity with this annoying little kid.'        This looks to me like so not the beginning of a beautiful friendship.        :-}

  'She even began to have more control over them and began to take on side projects, like when in nineteen thirty-two she tracked down a human girl name Rosalie Hale and introduced her to a human boy name Emmett McCarty.(...)  Thanks to Alice’s meddling, they had seven children in a cabin in Tennessee and eventually died of old age together.'        That sure made her blissfully happy.  And they hadn't to suffer an resentful Rosalie forever.        P-)

  'So instead of simply changing the girl, Alice and I camped outside her dinky little house in Phoenix until she was in a fatal car accident. Bella, at the tender age of fifteen, had been crossing the busy road on her way home from school, but had forgotten to look both ways and walked straight into the path of a big rig.'        Butterfly effect.  Or...  Alice didn't have a hand in this accident, did she?  Hmm, nah!  If Edward ever got wind of something like that in her thoughts, he would never forgive her.  Bella too, probably.

  I imagine Charlie and Renee never found out what happened with Bella.  She simply vanished.        :-|

  'Bella stopped Edward’s incessant whining and even got him to eat deer with the rest of us, but the best part about her was that she had a shield of her own. Sure she was utterly and completely boring, just like her mate, but having a shield with us meant that we no longer had to worry about Demetri coming after us.(...)  The added safety was more than worth putting up with both her and her mate.'        Ouch!!!  I have a hunch you don't like Edward and Bella that much.        :-P

  That was fun, Amanda.  Thank you!        ^_^



Author's Response:

Jasper's feelings toward Edward and Bella aren't my own- I just could not see Jasper liking them. In the books he is aloof from the couple and eventually comes around, so in this story he's still at the aloof stage, but I do see him coming around in the distant future. And let's face it, Edward is annoying and as an empath, Jasper would know that. Plus, I loved the idea of Jasper wanting to turn Edward into shoes for Alice, lol.

Alice had nothing to do with the accident, other than failing to stop it: Bella's bad luck was to blame. And yes, with this ending Bella doesn't stay in contact with her parents, although her blood spatter is found on the road and the truck, so they (and the police) believe the truck driver ran her over and got rid of the body to cover up the accident.The truck driver stopped, but the body was gone by the time he got out, so he was very confused as to what happened and thinks he blacked out.

Thank you for reading and reviewing! I really enjoyed hearing from you :)

Reviewer: DaSrO (Anonymous) · Date: March 23, 2012 08:51 PM · On: Chapter 20

hehehe you're so biased to Alice and Jasper. Nice ending, as with Galls, such a nice well developed story and the end is as if suddenly you got bored or stucked and just decided in the middle of a chapter to list and fix the pending points to finish the story. You're a really good writer, you can work and improve your conclusions. Still, it was good, if you were one of my advanced composition students you would get an A; but I know you can be better.

Have a great weekend,

Daniela



Author's Response:

Yes, I did get bored...there should have been a fight scene, but I find them really boring, especially after I just wrote all of those fight scenes for Gall Stone. I'm probably never going to feel like writing one for this story, because now I have to write a fight scene for Bezoars.

Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: March 21, 2012 01:01 AM · On: Chapter 19

  'I was still friends with Aro, Caius, and Marcus and teaming up with the Romanians would demolish that friendship. Stealing Alice from them would probably have the same effect, but it would be so much worse if I teamed up with their mortal enemies to do so.'        I will never understand how a fellow so kind and compassionate like Carlisle became friends with these ones.  Especially Aro and Caius.        :-|

  'I was still wary of the Romanians, but Amun was my friend and I was beginning to realize that there was no point in trying to appease Aro. If I was taking Alice from him, then I would be removed from his good graces, whether I was in league with the Romanians or not.'        Makes sense.  And it's somehow touching that he is willing to risk a war to rescue his "daughter".        :)

  “No one gets passed,” the young vampire replied.        “Listen Maurice, your boss is good friends with my coven leader here,” Edward said. “Now we know the passcode is Ibis, so why don’t you let us through?”        Mind-readers.  Never leave home without one.        ;)

  Curiosity, Amanda:  is Amun's alliance with the Romanians canon stuff?  Or another quirk of your world?

  '“Regardless of what she can and can’t see, a talent like that shouldn’t be in the hands of the Volturi. No one should have power like that,” Vladimir said sternly.'        No one should have power like that...  I don't like the sound of that.        :-[

  'The key piece to the puzzle was a shield that Amun had found named Kahotep. He could not only shield himself, but also anyone within a hundred miles of him, from Demetri’s tracking.'        Aah...  So, this is their "werewolf".  His power looks a lot like Bella's.  I wonder how much.

  'Amun was not sure if Kahotep’s skill would work on anyone besides Demetri, but he was positive that it was very effective against his former creation.(...)  Demetri was originally from Greece, but as a human, he and his family had moved to Egypt, which was where Amun ran into him.'        Demetri, Amun's progeny?  Interesting.

  'And so with Kahotep in our corner, I began to think that rescuing Alice was a very real possibility.'        I just keep imagining what they will do next.  Aro won't be happy.  Unless the Egyptian/Romanian alliance really overthrow the Volturi.  In this case, I hope the Cullens/Denalis don't have to run from them.        :-{

  And we still have those children of the moon coming from the north, just to add more wood to the fire...



Author's Response:

The Egyptians and Romanians are not in alliance in canon, but it makes sense that they would form an alliance. Demetri being Amun's creation is canon and is the reason Amun was hiding Benjamin away, because he didn't want another one stolen.

I did not imagine Kahotep's power to work like Bella's. When it comes to Demetri, they have the same effect, but Kahotep isn't immune to Edward, Aro, Jane, Kate, or any of the other types of powers. He's only shielded from trackers, so his power is a lot more limited.

Vladimir did not mean that Alice should not be allowed to exist with a power like that, but that no coven leader should posess her. Carlisle doesn't really count, because he has no ambition to rule.

The children of the moon are not in leage with the Egyptians and Romanian and are not in the least bit organized, so their attack won't be as bad as it sounds...now if the three were to coordinate, then Aro and Caius would really be in trouble.

Reviewer: DaSrO (Signed) · Date: March 19, 2012 11:38 PM · On: Chapter 1

Ooooooooooh you're preaching to the chorus sister, Im a born pastafarian. My fridays are holy, so, even with 3jobs I refuse to work on Fridays, add only 3hours on Saturday evening to make up for Fridays. And I do take almost 2 months during winter plus July-August (Im a teacher). So, its really against my nature to be running around 3workplaces; but the thing is, I have many things to pay with my mom's healthcare and I need to save money cause maybe I'll be moving to Atlanta next year. And only nooddles know what will happen there LOL (just thinking about living in USA scares me  bit to be honest), so Im at a stage I really need to buss my A hehe

I dont know why I havent received any notifications on bezoar, you know I dont mind staying up to read your stories :) I'll check that right now.

Have a great evening



Author's Response:

Well it goes against his noodly word, but if you must you must (it's a good thing Pastafarian has very laxed moral guidelines and doesn't kick one out for working on holy days). Good luck with everything and I hope your life settles down and everything works out, especially with your mom- Amanda

Reviewer: DaSrO (Signed) · Date: March 19, 2012 03:58 PM · On: Chapter 19

Really good!how have you been? its been a while without updates :) well, maybe I've just missed them. Im awfully bussy balancing 3 jobs; today I called in sick cause all the stress has all my bones aching hehe so it was really nice to find this new chapter. Hope you're doing great. Take care,

Daniela



Author's Response:

I'm fine. There have been lots of updates over at Beazors of Yesterday and Tomorrow.  But with this story, I only have one regular reviewer, so I wait for her to get around to reading a chapter before I post the next one.

Three jobs is way too many. We Pastafarians have a very laxed work ethic, so we believe in having one job and barely doing that one. You might want to considering converting, because we only work four days a week and take two months off during the winter...although, whether or not that much time off flies with your boss is another story...

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: March 19, 2012 12:00 AM · On: Chapter 18

  'My distress came to me naturally and how could it not? I had just witnessed the destruction of two dozen newborn vampires. This was the first time I had seen murder first hand and up close. Sure I had seen death in my visions more times than I can count, but never had I been there to witness it firsthand like this.'        I imagine it's the same difference between seeing something horrible in the TV, and being there.  She lost her buffer.        :-|

  'Demetri was an excellent tracker and could find anyone anywhere, but those two Romanians kept disappearing off of his radar. I was supposed to be finding out why and I had a sneaking suspicion that it had something to do with the werewolves, who Demetri never could see'        Oh, is that so?  I thought Alice was the only one with problems in pinpointing furry ones.        :)

  'He has been more affectionate ever since our first kiss and his admission that we were mates a year and half ago. He still held himself back and restrained us to kissing and heavy petting to protect my virtue and humanity, but it was something and definitely better than how things were before with him insisting that we were not mates at all.'        I bet.        X-)

  'My senses were enhanced and my brain felt bigger, but I could not concentrate on anything other than blood. I knew that I did not want to be a monster and that I wanted to be a vegetarian like Jasper, but wanting to abstain and actually resisting when Heidi marched a group of tourist into the main chamber were two totally different things. Needless to say, I failed a lot.        Of course I still tried to be a good vampire and drink animals. I spent too many years with Carlisle to not care'        So good Carlisle managed to instil his views on her.  Just keep trying, girl!

  'Heidi made sure to march the humans past me every meal time and if I was resisting, Caius would purposely let some of the blood from his human drip out and infuse into the air. With the smell of blood in the air it was impossible to resist.'        Of course, being among these cheaters isn't the best place for a vegetarian-to-be.        :-[

  'Between blood and sex, I did not have time for anything else, like seeing the future for Aro.(...)  I did not see the werewolves creeping down from the north. I did not see the Egyptians building up a highly skilled coven to the south of us. And I did not even see Carlisle and Esme approaching with Edward and the Denali coven to come rescue Jasper and me.'        Ah, is this why she asked to be changed?  She felt she was about to see what she shouldn't?  This will hide Carlisle and the Denalis.  Good.  Benjamin and his coven too.  Also good.  But the part about the werewolves approaching from the north sounds bad...        :-/



Author's Response:

Keep in mind that none of these vampires know about the shape-shifting wolves, so when they say werewolves they mean the typical howl at the mom lives in Siberia kind. Everyone's power seems to have some limitation; for Edward and many others it's Bella, for Alice it's hybrids, so I thought werewolves for Demetri. Plus, if he could locate them, Caius would've wiped out their entire species by now.

Yes, this is exactly why Alice saw that she needed to wait until that percise moment to be changed, but she did not know why it was important.

Just two chapters left now. Thanks for the review and sticking with this story!

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: February 26, 2012 07:29 PM · On: Chapter 17

  'Tanya’s human had been old for a human and had succumbed quickly. Kate’s had been young and healthy, but he too got sick and after several weeks lost the struggle to survive.(...)            I suspect that the virus particles hitched a ride on our clothing and infected the men.(...)        But no matter how it happened, the virus took hold of those orphans three months after the initial outbreak in the early spring of nineteen nineteen.'        Crap!  Edward was so enthusiastic about helping them...

  'Molly was a fighter. She grew sicker and her cough took on such a hacking sound that I feared the worse, but her fever stayed even.(...)  Two weeks in, she took a turn for the better and began her recovery. She lived and thrived when so many others had died.'        He did it.  The kid really did it!  With a saving like this on his belt, I bet his self-loathing will be taken down several notches, huh?  Better for Bella when she enters the picture.        X-)

  I wonder if little Molly will remember her angel savior...

  'Laurent had spent time with the Romanians, so it was only natural that other nomads would share news of them with him.'        He had?  Interesting.

  Hmm.  I don't know if I agree that Jasper's gift is weak, but...

  It was risky for Aro to bring Alice to a fight with other vampires.  Even if he has no real love for her, and I doubt he have, there is still the loss of her gift to consider.  Maybe he is really nuts, like Laurent said.

  Finally the rescue was put into motion.  The worst part is that the greater obstacle they have to face is Alice herself, since Aro can see in her mind whenever they are coming for her.  If, at least, they were friends with the Wolves already.  Or with Nahuel...

 



Author's Response:

It was in the Guide that Laurent came acroos the Romanians when he was younger, so I thought I'd work that in.

I agree that Jasper's talent is overlooked by other vampires, but Stephenie Meyer is on record as saying that Aro wouldn't want him, because he already has Corin and Chelsea, who have similar talents.

Jasper was in charge of watching and protecting Alice for the entire trip, so she wasn't actually in any danger. And Alice has a trick up her sleeve to deal with Aro so he would know about the rescue...we'll see what she's up to soon.

I really liked the part with Edward saving little Molly too:) I think it was the best thing for his nurotic tendencies.

In other news, we're really close to the end, which I already wrote. Now I just have to revise and post :)

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: February 05, 2012 09:12 PM · On: Chapter 16

  'Edward still did not like to kill animals, but once I managed to convince him that I felt the same way and that it was the lesser of two evils, he had begun to come to terms with it.(...) Edward was in the habit of ordering pig’s blood from a local slaughter house.'        Don't wanna get his hands dirty, huh? Well, it's understandable, I guess.

  'Laurent looked to have been changed in his forties.(...) It was his eyes that drew me in: the red contrasted poignantly next to Irina’s golden ones.'        I take it that Laurent did never get even close to Victoria and James. And you made him meet Irina earlier. Good for them. Pity he didn't convert, though. Oh, well... :-]

  'And Tanya and Kate both had human males living with them, so they could not take in vampires. Kate had a twenty-something hot young adventurer type live-in boyfriend, while Tanya had a sixty-two year old trapper living with her. Kate had only been with her human a few years, but Tanya had been with hers for decades.'         I guess asking if these two know what their women are is pointless. If the Volturi find out...

  'Carmen and Eleazar were both originally from Spain, although Eleazar was older and had been a member of the Volturi Guard.'        Didn't Carlisle know Eleazar during his time with the Volturi? I always assumed he knew him from Volterra.

  “Think about all of the children that this plague has left orphaned. I was once the sick orphan all alone and scared out of my mind while I was sick in the hospital and preparing for death. An angel came to me and rescued me and now I would like to repay the favor."        Your Edward seems to be very altruistic. Very good. And now Carlisle is an angel? Looks like their relationship improved. :)

  Nice chapter, Amanda. Pleasant to see the Cullens and Denalis getting together. About your questions, no, I don't think the Volturi would simply let her go. But, if Alice escapes, they would aim recapture rather than elimination. Aro wouldn't want to lose such a rare finding like her precognitiions. That's my opinion.



Author's Response:

Yeah, Irina and Laurent met early in this one. But in canon, I don't believe Laurent would have already known James and Victoria back then, so I didn't think it was too much of a stretch to put him with Irina. I thought it was a shame that in the book they were both killed when they had just finally found each other. And the fact that they were alone for so long is one of the things that doesn't sit right with me. If the other vampires were pressuring Edward to find a mate and he was less than a 100 in vampire years and vampire couples are forever unless murdered, then why are there so many single vampires out there? After a hundred years every vampire should either be happily paired up or have lost a mate and be depressed, like Marcus, or  crazy, like Maria. It just doesn't make sense that Irina would be over a thousand and Laurant would be almost 300 and neither of them would have ever met each other or mated with someone else.

I always assumed that Eleazar and Carlisle did not know each other, because Carlisle was always a vegetarian and Eleazar didn't learn of that way of life until he happened across the Denalis. It's possible that they could have met, but I think it's more probable that they missed each other.

Yes, Edward's starting to come around, but keep in mind that he lies and he knows what Carlisle is thinking. He's not above a little manipulation to get what he wants. Carlisle isn't talented, so he has no way of detecting deceit...

I agree that Aro would try to recapture Alice and try to keep her alive, but if it came down to it, would he hold her prisioner against her will? She's staying put and playing along now because she feels she owes him for destroying Victoria, but is he really so cruel to keep her there if she's actively trying to escape? An unhappy Alice will not be good for fortune telling...

Thanks for the review, I always look forward to hearing from you :)

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: January 20, 2012 05:54 PM · On: Chapter 15

  'Those dresses were highly inappropriate for any sixteen year old girl, especially mine. They were tight fitting and showed way too much skin, not even covering her ankles. It barely even covered her knees! I am not sure what that French designer was thinking, but I sure hope this stuff does not catch on in the States.'        LOL!!!  If this guy could just see what the next decades will bring...  Hmm, Alice probably can.        X-}

  'She might even have had too much milk, because she was filling out in other places too and I was not exactly happy about that; I would have preferred her to stay little and perfect forever.(...)        I was beginning to find Alice physically attractive.(...)  I looked at her and my body reacted to her present form, while my brain recoiled in horror, thinking only of the child she once was. No, I would not give into this new feeling and I would fight it to the end.'        *tsk*  Silly dude.  Almost there...        P-)

  'If she were anyone else, I would say her dream was of a sexual nature.'        If she were...?  GAAH!!  Man, that hurts!

  '“Well we’re never doin’ that again.”        “Not this again! You kissed me! You’ve got to know that we’re mates by now!”        “Fine, we may be mates,” I conceded, realizing that the love in the air was more than platonic and belonged to both of us, not just Alice.'        May be, huh?  Well, it's a begining.        :)

  Now that I think about it, Alice's dream was probably a vision of was about to happen.  But it happened because she had the vision in the first place.  Ouch, my head is begining to hurt...

  Anyway, she..  huh... benefited from the same event twice.  Not bad, eh?        P-)

  A pity Carlisle didn't know about this trip.  It would be the perfect opportunity to subtract these two away.  Of course, Aro would hunt them down later.  But won't it happen any way they do it?        :-/



Author's Response:

I think that fashion like that described was already present in the US by then, but I imagine that Jasper was a bit out of date with fashion...

Jasper is being a typical male in this one- he has to be dragged into the relationship kicking and screaming.

Yes, the dream was a vision and the circular reasoning is called a tautology and I like working them in to Alice's visions.

Aro never would have let them go if Alice knew that Carlisle was going to be there...and she didn't exactly want her parents there in that moment ;)

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: deltagirl (Anonymous) · Date: January 16, 2012 02:42 AM · On: Chapter 15

It's amazing that Jasper hasn't gone crazy by now being so vigilant to protect Alice physically and now he has to protect her virtue from himself. I kinda doubt Alice is going to leave Jasper alone now that he has admitted that Alice is his mate, I just wonder how long he will last against her. I can't remember, have you said at what age Alice is turned?

Author's Response:

Well I was aiming for the same age as she was turned in the book, which would be 19...but right now it looks like she might be changed a year early, due to timeline constraints. The nice thing about Jasper is he doesn't even have to touch her to get her off, so there won't be any risk to her life, but this story is pg13, so there won't be any details :)

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: December 31, 2011 09:20 PM · On: Chapter 14

  'Esme loved to go out to our garden and watch the horse-trail outback for a glimpse of him. I could only imagine how obsessive she would have been if she were the vampire and she could hear him play the piano every night from outside his living room window.'        It's pleasant to see both Esme and Carlisle so taken by the boy.        :)

  'The Masen family was healthy as a horse until the outbreak of typhoid fever hit two years later.(...)         Typhoid had been going around for a few months now...'        I'm confused.  If my math is correct, it would put then somewhen around 1916.  Wasn't the Masen's plight supposed to happen just at 1918?        :-|

  'There was a brief period in which Edward wandered off and I lost track of him, because I was wrestling with Esme at the time. Esme had caught the scent of a pair of humans that had strayed a little too far from the trail and she wanted to go after them. I stopped her, but when our struggle ended and she gave up, finally horrified by what she had been proposing to do, Edward was nowhere to be found.'        I see what you meant when you said that Esme wouldn't be easy, despite her preparation time.

  And Edward is as neurotic as you warned he would be.  Geez!  I hope he get a grip soon, or the next decades will be hard to endure.  And here I thought that the familiarity of having Esme and Carlisle as neighbors would ease things.        P-)

  Happy 2012, Amanda, and for anyone who read this!



Author's Response:

Yes, it isn't 1918 and Edward's not 17- I changed him early, which meant he couldn't have Spanish Influenza, so I gave him Typhoid instead. Changing him early will give him time to adjust so that he's not a newborn when Alice comes back into the picture.

I thought neurotic Edward was really funny in this chapter, but I need more neurotic ideas for him for next chapter :)

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: deltagirl (Signed) · Date: December 30, 2011 07:36 PM · On: Chapter 14

Now Edward is in place. I hope you update on what has been happening with Alice. She's a little older than Edward when she is changed right?

Author's Response:

I changed Edward younger than in Canon, so Alice won't be changed for a few more years. I was going to wait a few more chapters to update on Alice, because her situation can't really progess until she gets old enough to change.

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: December 23, 2011 11:37 PM · On: Chapter 13

  'And as far as I could remember, the only sexual experience I had ever had was that night on the yacht with Jasper. I did not think that counted, although I must admit it was so horrible that it made me more insistent on waiting with Esme. Honestly I was scared of the idea of consummating our relationship because of that previous bad experience and that was why I was so insistent upon waiting.'        I knew that day would leave a mark.        :-|

  'I wanted to give Esme the world and the biggest most elegant wedding Columbus had ever seen and I had the money to do so. I handed my checkbook over to Mrs. Platt and informed her of my wishes and suddenly all was forgiven.'        What a difference flashing some gold makes on some people's mood, huh?        P-)

  Alice's letter.  When they were all in Volterra, I was imagining how they would be in Chicago in 1918 to save Edward.  I should have seen it when Carlisle and Esme left there last chapter.        :-]

  But Alice says Edward will have perfect control and never slip?  Well, either he won't have his rebellious years, or she is not counting it, since it won't be a loss of control, but a conscious choice.  And I bet Aro will be interested in him, despite the lack of details, since Alice stressed his importance to their world.

  If anything, this chapter points how shaken is the relationship between Jasper and Carlisle now.  Sad!  You will need to come with something pretty good to bond them back together, Amanda.  Not to mention how he will face Esme herself.        0_0



Author's Response:

I don't count Edward's rebellious years, because like you said, that was a conscious decision. And my Edward won't be having a rebellious phase, because he's too nurotic to drink human. He has to be or Carlisle will be over his head with two newborns. And part of the reason I had Jasper attack Esme was so that she and Carlisle would leave and be free to travel to Chicago to save Edward. Plus I need time to pass and it would be really boring if all we saw was Alice being trapped in Volterra until she comes of age.

Alice did say in New Moon that it was possible to lie with one's thoughts....not as easy with Aro, but Alice is still going to try her hardest to keep Edward from Aro's attention. And even if Aro suspects something, I think he'll wait a few years to check Edward out...Alice doesn't know that he'll be a mind reader or why he will be important.

Yes, Jasper will need to do some major damage control with Carlisle and Esme, but then again time does heal wounds and taking care of Alice will go a long way in their minds. But still, they are all going to have to work together to get Alice out of Volterra, and they'll need Edward's help too.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: December 13, 2011 01:21 AM · On: Chapter 12

Weird dream Alice had in the begining.  I'm with her, hoping it isn't a vision.        :-|

  '"Why don’t you try to have that good dream again? That one you had where you had the curly blond hair like mine and you were just a time traveler, not a demonic Jasper torturer.”(...)        “Okay and the part where you get trapped in time with no blood while pregnant with my baby?”'        Correction:  weird dreams she is used to have!  Amanda, if they are visions, your imagination is a tad hyperactive.        ;-P

  'He played it off as quirky, but I knew Jasper well enough that he could not keep anything from me, not even the insanity he always felt emanating from our leader(...) It was bad enough that Jasper could feel it and that he knew, but also, it was the type of knowledge one could get killed for spreading.'        And taking into account Aro touches them everyday...  That idea of escaping Volterra is changing from appealing to necessary.

  'Why was there even a tree in the castle? And why did it have to be so hideously decorated? Could we at least go with some theme or color scheme?'        Heh!  Our future crazy party organizer is taking her fist steps.  The same way the shopaholic began to show her claws last chapter.        P-)

  Caius making a garland of popcorn??  HAHAH!  That would be quite a sight.        X-)

  'The paper sliced into her delicate skin and a single drop of blood pushed its way to the surface.(...)  In my vision, he was biting down, sinking his teeth into her, suckling every last drop of blood from my new mother figure.'        *Tsk*  I see that Jasper and parties with exchange of gifts don't get along.  And he was doing so well...        :-/

  Jasper back to human blood, Carlisle and Esme leaving...  This was not their brightest moment, was it?



Author's Response:

No, this was not a good time for anyone...but this was where I was stuck when I started posting the story and this chapter is what I came up with to transition to the next phase in their lives. We'll get to see where Carlisle and Esme go next chapter. Jasper will go back to animal blood, but he's had it too easy so far. He doesn't have more than average control, except when it comes to Alice, so he was always going to slip eventually.

The dreams really are visions, just not of Alice and Jasper and they won't happen this millinia. And Alice misinterpreted quite a bit of what was going on. And yes, my imagination is hyperactive...but I'll save it for Alice's strange dreams.

I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for the review!

Reviewer: DaSrO (Signed) · Date: December 05, 2011 03:42 AM · On: Chapter 7

"It would seem that the two of us were not permitted to exist simultaneously, and that one of us would have to die in order for the other to survive." Looks like Im not the only Harry Potter fan here =D

Off to sleep, wish you a great weekend,

Daniela 



Author's Response:

There is at least one more Harry Potter reference in this story coming up...Also I often take magic in Harry Potter and make it into vampire powers for all of the eggs. And there's an Eragon reference in Gall Stone (ch.1) that no one has gotten and that story is full of Pastafarian referrences, although I was limited by the lack of pasta.

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: DaSrO (Signed) · Date: December 05, 2011 03:15 AM · On: Chapter 1

But that would change everything...Rose & Emmet are supposed to meet each other and that wont happen under other circumstances, so its really selfih of her to keep them from their mates. Why would she even see two ramdom humans?I think it would be best to just leave the others stories unfold. Also, you dont describe them as adults on stone, so they should be turned when they are...your Alice is more curious than the vampyre one, in 2000 she doesnt see ahead looking for what will be popular in a hundred years..so I do think the sushi line was a bit too much. But hey,its your story and I enjoy to read it :)



Author's Response:

But if Alice was stuck on a boat with nothing but raw fish to eat, there's a chance she would try sushi, which was already popular in Japan, and therefore she would see it. But I conceed that we may be seeing Alice differently. My Alice has stronger visions as a human, so she is even more ruled by them.

 

As for Emmett and Rosalie, this story is going to end when Alice is changed, which is before their time, so it doesn't really matter. But I thought that Alice would see them, because of their close link to the Cullens, as if their fates were tied. And I thought Alice would play matchmaker and the two of them up on a date after saving their lives. But like I said, I'm not currently planning on writing that far ahead, I was just planning on mentioning it in the epilogue :)

Reviewer: DaSrO (Signed) · Date: December 05, 2011 03:03 AM · On: Chapter 6

I had to keep reminding myself Alice's just a child that has had no guidance and that by now would be in an assylum...she's disturbingly uncaring, lets hope she starts appreciating human life soon or I would advice for her family to be drunk by James so she can understand how wrong it is to kill. Hopefully, now that Jasper has mentioned that humans have feelings she would realize people should ot be food



Author's Response:

Alice will come around and Jasper's words will help with that, but it mostly all of those lectures Carlisle keeps giving her- they are gonna start sinking in.

I hope you keep reading :)

Reviewer: DaSrO (Signed) · Date: December 05, 2011 02:27 AM · On: Chapter 5

UUUUUuuuh I would love to see a naughty Carlisle, but I know that wouldnt happen hehe also, we know your vampires can vomit,it would be so funny to read Jasper having such anxiety that he throws up, which would add to the nervousness he felt the first time he had an egg xP Im assuming this pre-twilight is a kind of prequel for the stone



Author's Response:

Well Carlisle will take it a bit farther with Esme, too far if you ask Jasper. But this story is rated PG 13 and I don't want any stray hybrids running around, so everyone will keep it in their pants, thank Darwin.

Yes, I see this story heading in the direction of twilight, and after it, Gall Stone, so vampires can vomit and Aro will. I'll have to think about how I can work a vomiting in for Jasper. The only difference will be that Rosalie and Emmett aren't there, because Alice will save them. Just tell Rosalie not to get engaged to a rapist and tell Emmett not to go bear hunting and play a little match maker and they can be saved- Alice is all over that. It's only Edward and Bella that were destained to die young.

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: DaSrO (Signed) · Date: December 05, 2011 01:52 AM · On: Chapter 4

Im sorry, but a 10 year old in 1911 from a humble family should not know about sushi...just saying...

nice work,nice chapter :)



Author's Response:

Of course she wouldn't, that's the whole point of mentioning it- she got it from her visions. In the future sushi will be popular so she considered it :)

Reviewer: DaSrO (Signed) · Date: December 05, 2011 01:33 AM · On: Chapter 3

Okay...pooping while floating inside a river...theres a picture I didnt need LOL

Ur little Alice shows no conscience or regard for human life, lets excuse it as being a young child that hasnt experience much. Also, she doesnt seem to care about meddling and forging futures,like the canon one,but at this rate she's going to avoid Edward change!!!



Author's Response:

LOL- I always wonder about that type of stuff. If human Alice really is stuck on a little tiny boat, how is she gonna poo? These are the big questions.

Alice will be ensuring that Edward is changed, because she's gonna send Carlisle back to get him- she does like to meddle and Edward would die otherwise.

In this story, Alice's conscience comes from the time she spends with Carlisle, so before they meet, she only has what she has learned from Jasper to go on. In the book several decades passed before she found Jasper, and I think she was seeing Carlisle during that time and learning her morals.

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: DaSrO (Signed) · Date: December 05, 2011 01:00 AM · On: Chapter 2

Your attention to detail is so good that it makes your stories great. Nice explaining of Jasper's attitude,he's still too whipped for my taste, but so is he in canon hehe



Author's Response:

Inattention to detail makes my head hurt; always has.

Jasper might be considered whipped in some aspects, but I think he gets his way whenever he turely wants it. Just look at what happened in Gall Stone: he convinces Alice to have six kids, when she definitely does not want anymore after four and she only wanted the first four because he made her believe she wanted them.

I saw a lecture once from a very distinguished scientist and afterwards one of my professors, who was in attendance, asked him why he chose our university to work at. He gave a very long winded explanation, but in the end he said it was because it did not matter where he lived, so he let his wife decide. Their marriage worked because he let his wife decide almost everything. When asked what he decided, he said who he votes for for president and how many children they have. Movies, dinner, and 99% of his life she decides and it doesn't even bother him. That is part of my inspiration for Jasper- when it comes to clothing and everything else Alice is into, he's willing to go along with whatever she wants, because her happiness is that important to him. When it comes to the big issues, he puts his foot down and will not back down.

You must login (register) to review.




Share/Save/Bookmark


© 2008, 2009 Twilighted Enterprises, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.
Privacy Policy | Terms of Service

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.