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Reviews For Not to Pass On
Reviewer: pastel (Signed) · Date: March 27, 2013 10:45 PM · On: Chapter 14

Ohhh, dang! Great chapter! The suspense just kept building, and I was on the edge of my seat the whole time.


Keep up the good work!

Reviewer: pastel (Signed) · Date: March 27, 2013 10:31 PM · On: Chapter 13

Hah, the car scenerio is funny. For some reason, I thought Bella had already driven Edward's car for the first time like two chapters ago.  That must've been something else.

I'm glad they're on the same page now.

A few typos to take note of, if you will:

"down around them" --> down around us

"you do anything" --> you'd do anything

"like, sees it" --> like, who sees it

"barely stretching between them." --> barely stretching between us.

"wasn’t telling her what" --> wasn't telling me what

"keep myself herself" --> remind myself

"“Stay?” she mumbled." --> “Stay?” I mumbled.

Reviewer: pastel (Signed) · Date: March 27, 2013 09:53 PM · On: Chapter 12

Oh my goodness, their reunion at the train platform turned me to goo. They are so sweet with each other--it's lovely.

I also forgot to tell you earlier, but I love how you post both Edward and Bella's perspective in each chapter. It makes them seem more equal because then we as readers can see first-hand how much both of them are being affected by each other.

I also love how you don't create unnecessary relationship drama. Your Edward and Bella are much more mature, as high school students, than in other stories, where they are adults. It is much less tiring and boring to read. I love that Edward is so mature about the relationship in this chapter, just like Bella was honest with her feelings. They don't spill the secrets they are supposed to keep, but they are open with it to each other: they let the other know that they are keeping a secret but tell the other that it doesn't concern their relationship. (Sorry, very long and confusing sentence.) Hopefully, Edward doesn't withdraw from the secrets, as he seems to be doing at the end of this chapter.

Some other things I like: Charlie doesn't hate Edward for no reason, which happens in some other fanfic stories. I also like how Edward and Bella's POVs don't interlap; they simply pick up where the other's dialogue ends. Although some other people like interlapping POVs, it's not my cup of tea--I usually don't care for reading the exact same situation in another person's perspective.

Also, here are a few typos I noticed, if you would like to correct them:

"undestood" --> understood

"the other two" --> for us

"barley" --> barely

"reached for me hand" --> reached for my hand

"then cut he off" --> then cut himself off

"pulling me head" --> pulling my head

"I reassured her" --> I reassured him

"greater than anything he’d" --> greater than anything I'd

"that it’s Christina." --> that it's Irina.

"we can’t do" --> we can do

"as she slid" --> as I slid

"in. the radio" --> in. The radio

"I made herself" --> I made myself

"covering her cheek" --> covering my cheek

Reviewer: pastel (Signed) · Date: March 27, 2013 08:54 PM · On: Chapter 10

Bella and Edward's relationship is so sweet. You depicted perfectly the charm of young love (well, pretend that Edward hasn't lived for ages) that so many authors try but fail to convey.

I love how Edward calls her "sweetheart." Absolutely adorable.

Also, a few typos to take mind of in this chapter, if you would:

"wrapped her arms" --> wrapped my arms

"I swallowed" --> Swallowing

"in his classes" --> in my classes

"try to overhear" --> trying to overhear

"learned for themselves" --> learned for ourselves

"Edward to gripped" --> Edward gripped

Reviewer: pastel (Signed) · Date: March 27, 2013 08:12 PM · On: Chapter 9

Very interesting! I like how you successully described Bella's outfit in an interesting and fitting way (for Bella's character). A lot of authors have trouble showing their readers how their characters look without simply listing the traits. However, you accomplished this perfectly.

Also, the ending was perfect. Goodness, finally! All of that tension in the air, haha!

Also, just a few typos in this chapter, if you would like to correct them:

"guided my to his car," --> guided me to his car,

“Is she always that" --> “Is he always that

"shrugged, her eyebrows raising" --> shrugged, my eyebrows raising

"salmon filet" --> salmon fillet

"streetlamps reflected" --> streetlamps reflecting

Reviewer: pastel (Signed) · Date: March 27, 2013 07:40 PM · On: Chapter 8

Oh, a few more typos in chapter 8 that I just ran across. (I had stopped reading halfway in my previous review.)

"I'd had burned" --> I had burned

"out to her" --> out to me

"shift her." --> shift me.

"they likes it." --> they liked it.

 

Reviewer: pastel (Signed) · Date: March 27, 2013 06:58 PM · On: Chapter 8

Great story!

Also, I noticed a few typos while I was reading. I added them below, just in case you want to correct them.

Chapter 8:

"he Emmett" --> I told Emmett

"My voice was much quieter as she winced" --> My voice was much quieter as I winced

There was one other typo I noticed in the chapters before this, but I was too lazy at the time to mark it down. It's not that big of a deal. Great job!

Reviewer: Britmom (Signed) · Date: March 07, 2013 09:19 PM · On: Chapter 14

Talk about a cliffie ... And please don't say it's on hiatus, I don't think I could cope! Fantastic storyline; brilliant characters who are completely believable and very exciting. Please update soon.

I'm working my way through all your stories and loving your writing. So looking forward to what comes next. Thank you!

Reviewer: A Twilight Song (Signed) · Date: October 28, 2012 11:34 AM · On: Chapter 14

How's it going with that next chapter? (Because I really, really liked the previous one. :D)

Reviewer: artspu8 (Signed) · Date: October 04, 2012 08:17 PM · On: Chapter 14

This is amazing! Such good writing. Anticipating the next chapter a lot-- although I completely resent you for how you ended it. When are you going to update? 

Reviewer: seeker (Signed) · Date: September 22, 2012 06:41 PM · On: Chapter 14

Thanks good chapters

Reviewer: twilightluver22 (Signed) · Date: September 17, 2012 05:44 PM · On: Chapter 14

Hey, I love this. It's really good. Please write more!

Reviewer: deacongirl01 (Signed) · Date: September 12, 2012 09:22 AM · On: Chapter 14

I'm still with you.  The polot is getting very exciting.  I can't wait to see how it turns out.  A few notes, you might want to take out a few instances of using "followed suit" and eyes "boring" into other eyes.  They felt a little over used.  Also, the POV sometimes gets a little muddled.  Bella will be speaking in first person adn then in the smae sentence it will use third person.  But overall, the dialogue is good and the characters are well-developed.  The plot moves at a good pace and the story is very engaging.

Reviewer: nothing_but_a_prayer (Signed) · Date: September 08, 2012 09:25 PM · On: Chapter 14

So I've read this in about a day and a half. I really like it. Given the authors notes, I'm guessing it's been awhile or more between updates. I hope that RL is good enough to you that you'll be able to update more often. :-)

Reviewer: Oliviaxlansing (Signed) · Date: September 05, 2012 07:36 PM · On: Chapter 14

I'm still here reading (god am i glad you updated!) and this is still a quality piece of writing! Although I am a sucker for anything spy-related ahah! But great work and keep on going!

Reviewer: A Twilight Song (Signed) · Date: September 05, 2012 10:08 AM · On: Chapter 14

I loved this chapter! The secret is finally out.. At least one of them. :) Hope the next chapter is on it's way. :D

Reviewer: Camilla (Signed) · Date: September 05, 2012 10:02 AM · On: Chapter 14

Thank you for the recap. I do hope for a faster update. Emotions get lost during a longa wait-

Reviewer: Triplemoons3 (Signed) · Date: September 04, 2012 11:20 PM · On: Chapter 5

I'm late to the party, but hoping there are still some cookies around? Lol! I like this take on Bella.

Reviewer: Camilla (Signed) · Date: May 31, 2012 05:07 AM · On: Chapter 12

Time for Bella to decide spilling, I believe.

Reviewer: Screaming Mimi (Signed) · Date: April 20, 2012 03:03 PM · On: Chapter 13

Great chapter. Lots going on.

 

Reviewer: Gelsamina (Signed) · Date: April 20, 2012 12:15 PM · On: Chapter 13

Can't wait for E to piece things together

Reviewer: aborealis7 (Signed) · Date: February 28, 2012 01:55 PM · On: Chapter 12

ACK! IDK! Great chapter! I think B has had it, and, I think they both need to come clean!

Reviewer: aborealis7 (Signed) · Date: February 28, 2012 01:36 PM · On: Chapter 11

Run Bella! Run, go rogue with your Vamps and run!



Author's Response:

Oooh, I hadn't planned on that one, but it sounds fun.

Reviewer: aborealis7 (Signed) · Date: February 28, 2012 01:24 PM · On: Chapter 10

OMG ~ Alice!!

Reviewer: aborealis7 (Signed) · Date: February 28, 2012 01:12 PM · On: Chapter 9

Loved it!

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