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Reviewer: twilightlover127 (Signed) · Date: December 28, 2012 08:26 AM · On: Chapter 1
not bad for the first chapter. would like to see where this story is gonna go.
Reviewer: AmberrrJune (Signed) · Date: August 19, 2011 08:56 PM · On: Chapter 1
so far so good, is he a vampire though..I'm not sure yet
Reviewer: Marry masen cullen (Signed) · Date: April 23, 2011 11:41 PM · On: Chapter 1
Awesome story ........... nice plot and I really liked it keep updating please .....:)
Reviewer: smorr (Signed) · Date: April 20, 2011 06:00 PM · On: Chapter 1
I LOVE it soooooooooo much. cannot wait for the next update!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reviewer: sweetchickyk (Signed) · Date: April 05, 2011 09:43 PM · On: Chapter 1
Love the story. Though I know you want chapter 2, you can find it here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6796236/1/Virtuous_Punishment
Author's Response: Thank you chick.
Reviewer: PoisonousGarden (Signed) · Date: April 03, 2011 11:38 AM · On: Chapter 1
Hmmmmmmmmm, interesting start!
Reviewer: hush-hush15 (Signed) · Date: April 01, 2011 04:10 PM · On: Chapter 1
Oh my GOD! hahaha I love his "Holy...Fuck me! God...THANK YOU" hahaha too good! :) ok so clearly enjoyed the chapter ! IT WAS PHENOMENALLY INSANELY BEAUTIFULLY DONE :) love it so much :) pls continue it because I am going to go insane wanting more of this ! <3
Reviewer: lizsten (Signed) · Date: March 26, 2011 07:01 PM · On: Chapter 1
I'm sorry to bug, but when is the second chapter coming out? The story seems really good and the anticipation is killing me!
Author's Response: The second chapter has been posted for validation.
Reviewer: PA Coconut (Signed) · Date: March 17, 2011 09:46 AM · On: Chapter 1
Great Chapter! I can't wait for the next one. Thank you.
Reviewer: lizsten (Signed) · Date: March 15, 2011 08:09 PM · On: Chapter 1
When will the story be updated?
Author's Response: I will be posting the next chapter in the next few days. Thank you for your review.
Reviewer: lizsten (Signed) · Date: March 15, 2011 08:03 PM · On: Chapter 1
So far it's really good! I can't wait for the next chapter!!!
Reviewer: rreader (Signed) · Date: March 13, 2011 08:40 PM · On: Chapter 1
I'm definitely interested a little confused but it's only the first chapter. Can't wait to read more.
Reviewer: Charmie (Signed) · Date: March 12, 2011 11:49 AM · On: Chapter 1
Hmmm okay well it's really vague of course...but I did like it.
Reviewer: xXElle-BelleXx (Signed) · Date: March 11, 2011 09:34 PM · On: Chapter 1
I like it, but there were a few grammar/spelling mistakes. Be sure to proofread. Twice. But overall I like the direction you're going. Keep on keeping on. :)
Reviewer: MadV7 (Signed) · Date: March 11, 2011 03:06 PM · On: Chapter 1
sounds sexy!! I like it!! please continue!
Reviewer: delilah69 (Signed) · Date: March 11, 2011 07:11 AM · On: Chapter 1
i think its awesome so far!! will she give mr. masen a run for his money?
Reviewer: vampiresarenotamyth (Signed) · Date: March 11, 2011 07:10 AM · On: Chapter 1
good first chapter, i'm intrigued
Reviewer: Discordia (Signed) · Date: March 11, 2011 05:26 AM · On: Chapter 1
Great first chapter! I'm very curious about where the story will go! I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Reviewer: TheGodsCanDance (Signed) · Date: March 11, 2011 01:14 AM · On: Chapter 1
Thank you for sharing this one! I love the quiet intelligence of it. I love the rhythm of your words and the colour they spin when placed in proximity.
I like the tone with which the story started. There is an attraction to being treated with disdain and this "Mase", with his pearly whites and Italian leather, with his strong sense of self and decisiveness in recognising what he will claim as his own, well, you have given us a very attractive, very disdainful creature.
The Bella in this introductory chapter was watercoloured and shadowed though I think in any situation, with any other Edward, this Bella would have come across as stronger on the page.
She is beautifully crafted and she is going to be a fine foil but this chapter belonged to Mase. He started it and with his presence so forcefully marking his territory, Bella was going to be seen in the water colours and shadow play.
I think when (if) you start a chapter with Bella as the opening impetus, the opposite will occur. Well, so I suspect. It feels as if Bella were to take to and hold the light, then Edward would be seen in muted tones and at-a-remove shades.
If ANY of this is coming across in any way other than complete awe and amazement and wonder, then forgive me.
I really, REALLY like this. I like its power and its possibilities.
As an aside, may I wish you the very best of luck with these two. I suspect they will be a handful to manage and quite willful in the way they want the story told. As an writer, I do not envy you! As a reader, oh, the pleasure will be all mine!
I, for one, am definitely signing myself up for the ride ahead.
And again, quite sincerely, thanks for sharing this : )
~ TheGodsCanDance ~
Author's Response: Thank you for such a thoughtful and positive review. It's greatly appreciated.
Reviewer: Nona Cuddles (Signed) · Date: March 10, 2011 11:30 PM · On: Chapter 1
I like it.. good discription...... can't wait to see where you go with this..
:)Leona
Reviewer: calicohearts (Signed) · Date: March 10, 2011 11:19 PM · On: Chapter 1
I really like the beginning! Please continue!
Reviewer: abc (Signed) · Date: March 10, 2011 07:44 PM · On: Chapter 1
I'm very interested! Excellent and intriguing start. I would love to see more.
Reviewer: hc4metal (Signed) · Date: March 10, 2011 06:45 PM · On: Chapter 1
A+++
Please tell me this is a story that will actually be finished - so many aren't
Reviewer: twihardfan722 (Signed) · Date: March 10, 2011 06:37 PM · On: Chapter 1
I definitely think you should continue!!! I'm very intrigued. Fabulous start. Can't wait to read more. Keep up the good work and update soon!:)
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