So far, I am enjoying this. you have a good writing style and feel for the dialogue.  One point I would make is that sometimes Edward's and Anna's language is a bit too modern.  I'm not sure someone in 1928 would say "freak out," but I might be wrong.  It seems like that didn't coem around till the 60's.  But I like your Anna and Alex is an interesting character.  You have captured Edward's self-loathing and angst well.

Author's Response:

Thanks so much for reviewing. I'm glad you are enjoying. You are right about the dialogue. This story was the very first thing I have written since term papers in high school, so it started off a bit rocky. I have re-edited the chapters for the horrific grammar, but don't know how to change them here. I would like to do that. But the dialogue I have not changed. When I started it, I just wrote without seriously taking the dialogue into consideration. After a few chapters were posted, I realized there probably wouldn't be as many contractions being used and such. I didn't want to change the dialogue in the more recent chapters, because then I thought the chapters wouldn't flow properly together, so I keep writing it that way. I'm not sure if I should, but it made sense to me to keep it going once I started doing it. But I'm a new writer, so I could be wrong. So let's just say that Edward hears all kinds of strange slang in everyones' heads that may not be popular yet, and is influenced by it, yes? ;) Thanks again!

oh Edward

Author's Response:

Haha. I wonder how often Carlisle thought that during Edward's "upbringing". Thanks for leaving a review.

Will you ever continue this story? Quite interesting. I've found it last week, and enjoyed it very much.  Please :)

Author's Response:

Thanks for reviewing! Yes, I will continue the story. I'm am working on the next chapter now.  This summer I had no internet access, I was super super busy, and my husband uses the computer a lot, so I don't get much time with it anymore. I have also had real bad writers block. A weird kind too. I know what I want to happen but am having a real difficult time finding the words to say it. When I sit down to write, I only get a few sentences done in a few hours. It's been frustrating, but I'm not giving up on it. I really hope to have this chapter done soon though, because it's driving my mind mad. LOL I'm so glad you enjoyed what you read so far. I hope you like where it goes!

Uh oh Edward is hot on the Count's trail. Oh I hope Anna and Edward can be friends. Just because he hunts humans doesn't mean he shouldn't have any companionship.

"Fish Vampires are friends, not food." So silly but Carlisle is right :)

I really hope we'll be seeing not only the Count getting whats coming to him but more of the development of Anna's relationship with Edward and his acceptance of others in his life again.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for taking the time to review each chapter and for pimping me out! xoxo

I love that Edward is using his charm to get Anna to do what he wants. Humans are so easy to placate huh? Clearly that other vampire thought he would put Edward in a situation that was mostly out of his hands, leading to the death of Anna, but what he didn't count on was Edwards compassion (that he himself doesn't see) and his ability to easily gain information through Anna's thoughts.

Hey, girlie! MB here - I am finally caught up and so glad you decided to expand this fic!  I love Anna and the Count is a total tool - I look forward to reading about his comeuppance.  I'm so glad you're writing regularly, because you are good at it and I love this story! Mwah!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much, MB!  Now, when will we see the rest of your "one shot"? ;)

Great story! I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much.  And thank you for taking the time to review!

I have always wondered how Stephanie's vampires drink blood without the sharp fangs.  Your description of Edward pulling the blood from the artery gave me a clear picture of it. REally scary.

good story, write more.

Author's Response:

I never got how just biting into the neck would give access to all the body's blood.  If vampires are going to really drink, they have to get the blood from a major source.  Descriptions that just said "he bit into his neck" always bothered me because in my anilitical mind I couldn't see how a flesh wound would give access to all the blood in the body.  LOL  Edward has taught me to be nothing if not thorough. ;)  Thank you so much for reviewing.  It helps me so much.

Oh Edward...so charming, sweet and devastatingly handsome...even as a red-eyed vamp!  Can't wait to hear more about him!  Good chapter, my friend!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much.  And thank you for taking the time to review each chapter.  You are such a sweetie Rena!  And Edward could the charm the pants off anything!

Wait.  I didn't mean that like I'm caught up because I haven't been reading each chapter as you post.  

 

I mean I'm caught up in it -- as the story has captured me.  The world around me disappeared and I lost myself while I was reading that third chapter.  i'm not so good at expressing myself.  That's why YOU write the stories and I read them!

Author's Response:

LOL Thank you for telling me that.  My husband actually felt the same way about that chapter.

Scary.  I like it!  Very nicely done.

Author's Response:

I'm so glad you like it.  It's definitley a fun story to write! Thanks for reviewing.

I have had this tabbed forever to read. Finally found the time today. Great job! I have read several stories that had an 'Edward's first hunt' and this was by far my favorite telling of that moment.  Well done!!!

Author's Response:

Thank you for reviewing!  I haven't read any fics that had Edward's time hunting humans just because I always wanted to write my own and didn't want them influencing what I would write.  To hear you say that this is your favorite one makes me squee!  Perhaps I will read some when I'm done with this story just to see others' takes on it.