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Reviews For dark sun
Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 22, 2014 07:30 PM · On: History

  So, let me get this straight.  When Edward is overbearingly around, she is all *twitch  twitch*.  But all he have to do is to leave for a few hours to hunt, and she gets bored out of her mind?  She can't win, can she?        :)

  And that's it.  The End, as far as I can tell.  Pity.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 20, 2014 12:28 PM · On: Animal Cruelty

'This was the final trip to Bella's old house to finish moving her out and into her new house, with me. I felt like a kid at Christmas and soon I would get to unwrap my present every night. One downside of us living in the same house was that it was also the same house as my family…and Brontë. Brontë and I were on better terms now but I still felt like I was being watched.'        Heheheh!  And I imagine Brontë's stick game is Emmett's doing.


Loved the little strife caused by the bikini photos (Renee, you naughty girl!).  Specially when Bella dodged both Emmett and Edward. Priceless!        ^_^

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 15, 2014 07:22 PM · On: Threats

  '"Emmett! I am not a poisonous plant!" Jake looked at me inquisitively when I yelled at Emmett. "Uh, my hearing is better since I've ingested some of Edward's venom."        I didn't hear anything and I have superior hearing.'        Heheheh!  If she continues to slip like that, Jake will soon figure it out, before she tells him.        :-]

  '"What's the matter my love, didn't like what you saw?" I know my question was a bit patronizing but he really needed to get passed this notion that I wasn't going to be a vampire.'        Oh, for crying out loud!  He still thinks he can avoid that?  I'm confused.  I thought they had a deal, and that he was in (albeit grudgingly).

  'To help with the pending problems, Carlisle and Jacob talked about the reservation boundaries and they decided to call a truce for the time being. They figured it would be in everyone's best interest if the vampires could chase the threat over the borders instead of stopping at the perimeter and waiting for the wolves to continue the pursuit and vice versa.'        Oh, what a shame!  This way, Paul and Emmett won't have their little squabble.        ;-P

  It's nice to see the Cullens and the Wolves getting along, under Jakes leadership.  And was it really Riley who invaded Bella's?  Weird, that about the stench.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2014 08:11 PM · On: 8: Can't Bluff Your Way Out

  '“They made me pack leader.”        “WHAT? What happened?”        “Well, they claimed it was my birthright and I guess Sam never wanted to be leader anyway, he just happened to be the first one to phase. So now I’m pack leader and future tribe chieftain,” he spoke quickly as he shook his head, still in disbelief.'        Interesting.  Not sure I saw much of your Sam, but, if he's anything like in the books, then better it be your friendlier Jacob.  Damn council...  I hope Jacob can help with that.

  “Jacob showed up at my house earlier. He wanted to reiterate the fact that the contract says none of you the Cullens can bite a human.”(...)        “I’m not a Cullen and I’m not on the treaty, I could…”        Not a fair statement, is it?  Jasper is as much a Cullen as Alice or any of the others.  My opinion.

  'Ten medical degrees between you and no one has thought about an injection, sheesh.        I glanced at my mother in awe. “Esme, you’re a genius.”        Yes she is.  That  should be their standard method, whenever there's time for it. And Esme is right.  Looks like, when you know much about a subject, you tend to forget the simplest facts.        :)

  'High-pitched squealing and stomping interrupted Carlisle's approval. We looked across the room to the source of the commotion and I saw Bella stomping around in circles, wincing, waving her hands crazily and looking sick.(...)        “I hate needles!” she squealed and choked on the last word.'        And THAT was priceless!  BWAHAHAAHH!  There's really something wrong with that girl.        X-P

  Hmm...  I see what you mean about the difference between forcing and teasing.  But, with everything we see around us, it's a tiny bit unconfortable if we begin to read "yes" where a "no" is said (maybe they need a safe word?).  Just an observation.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: November 02, 2014 06:06 PM · On: 7: SINGS

  'Edward walked into the kitchen holding a paper bag, Emmett following close behind with a down cast face.(...)        “So what was that about?” Edward froze into a statue and stared attentively down at me, his mouth turning into a slight grimace. “Edward?”(...)        “Emmett was trying to imagine the two of us together. He was wondering what it would be like to be with a human.”        My eyes widened, “and the bag?”        “Um, the most prized part of the male anatomy. I suggested to Rose that she wait a week to return it.”'        OUCH!!!

  'The sudden feel of warm, moist lips on my neck caused me to freeze.(...)        She’ll me mine with just one kiss…(...)        I slammed my elbow into his stomach and at the same time, I took the heel of my foot and drilled it into his foot. I then spun around and uppercut his nose causing his hands to fly up and cradle his now bleeding nose.(...)        For good measure, I aimed a well-placed knee to his groin. Mike fell to his knees clutching his crotch and a high-pitch moan passed his lips as his eyes rolled to the back of his head.        I then unleashed the entire contents of the tube of pepper spray into Mike’s face. He fell backward and landed on his back then he started to rub at his face while he screamed profanities I had never heard before, even from Emmett.'        What do you mean, "I hope I wasn't too harsh on Mike"?  That was PERFECT!!!  BWAHAHAHAHAAAHHH!!!!        X-D

  'I walked over to the sink and stared at myself in the overly large mirror. Unfortunately, there was a large red rash on my neck where I scrubbed too hard with the loofah. Other than that, I was finally starting to think I was beautiful enough to be with Edward and I will admit that I had become even prettier since he had asked me to marry him. For lack of a better adjective, I was glowing. Edward made me feel beautiful inside and out and he was bringing me out of my shell.'        Nice!  Better than her usual self-depreciation.

  Between Mike's deserved retribution and the well placed lemon in the end, good chapter, Siren.  Really.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: September 28, 2014 06:13 PM · On: 6: Switzerland Takes a Stand

  'Knock off the seduction attempts this instant or I’ll stay at my house for a month with the window locked. She then abruptly pulled her lips from mine and focused her attentions at the topic at hand.'        Heheheh!  Timing is everything, grasshopper.

  'I wonder if I can convince her to go to Washington State with me?        How deluded was Newton, really?'        Infinitely, it seems.  Ack!

  '“Hey Bella? Can you tie a cherry stem in your mouth?”        Bella smiled sweetly then took the hanging fruit from Jessica and popped the whole thing in her mouth.(...) “Cherry gone…”(...) My eyes then grew to the size of dinner plated when she pulled the knotted stem from her mouth after fifteen seconds. “Like this?” Everyone at the table clapped their hands in approval.(...)        “So what does tying a cherry stem mean?”(...)        Oh. My. God!        She doesn’t know?'        LOL!! Awkward.        :-P

  “Alright, what should we pack…?” I pulled open the top drawer and gazed down at the contents. Blue, black, green, lace, silk and satin filled my eyes and venom started to flood my mouth as I stared down at the rows of panties and negligee.        “EDWARD!” Bella shouted from behind me and was miraculously between the now closed dresser drawer and myself, her cheeks a delicious shade of scarlet. “This drawer is off limits!”        LOL!!

  “So what if there are a bunch of wolves down there, it just means more protection from Victoria that way,” she stated bluntly.        “That’s true but werewolves are as dangerous and unpredictable as a newborn vampire…”        “I. Don’t. Care! Who cares if Jacob and Leah are wolves? If Angela was a fairy, Jessica turned out to be a witch and Mike was really a troll…I still wouldn’t care. From this day forward, I’m Switzerland, black matter, neutral territory…I will not be made to choose between my fiancé and my childhood friend, because I’ll end up ignoring you both.”        Edward...  Not completely fair with the Wolves.  Bella...  Good girl.        ^_^

   “No, no, no, no, no, no…Emmett, Rosalie go away and come home as planned.” I was shocked when Bella shouted at the top of her lungs in anger at my siblings.        Awww, did we interrupt something?        That got a reaction out of the both of us at the same time. “GO AWAY!”        BWAHAHAHAH!  Siren, that was mean.

  A day in life, and one full of funny moments.  Good.

  For what it's worth at this point, I agree with you.  Quality over quantity.  A writer should never force it.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: September 20, 2014 03:10 PM · On: 5: Suggestions

  'The moment I pulled up to the little red house near the shores of the beach, it felt like I was in someone else’s body. I expected Jake to run from the house and take me into an overwhelming hug, but he didn’t. Much to my surprise, Leah was the one that come bounding out of the Black’s house, wearing a simple light yellow sundress and a smile a mile long.        “Bella, it’s been so long since I saw you last,” she greeted me happily and wrapped her arms around my shoulder in a tight hug.'        Again, let me say I'm very happy with your choice to pair Leah and Jake.  And, since they are both Wolves, their happy ever after can really be ever after.  And still friends with Bella.  I like the idea.        ^_^

  'Stocking up on energy, I see. Alice giggled.        “Stocking…what…” (...) “Actually, your brother’s been wearing me out. I’m trying to recuperate what I’ve lost.”        Alice’s expression was priceless. Her jaw nearly bounced off the floor and her eyes bugged out of her head.'        LOL!!

  'Edward had warned Alice not to drive it around this small hole-in-wall town but Alice would hear nothing of it. Where else was she supposed to drive it, transport it to New York for a Sunday drive? Edward shook his head in dismay, knowing he had lost that argument. Of course, Alice stating he would be paying for the trips and I would be going with her caused his mouth to cinch shut.'        Heheheh!

  '“Alice gave me some advice earlier.”        “Oh yeah, that’s kind of a scary thing. What did she tell you?”        I pressed my lips to his affectionately. She suggested that I start to move in, seeing as we’re engaged.(...) I turned to look and stood dumbfounded at what I saw. Edward was pumping the air and doing a victory dance that rivaled football players.'        Cool!  As long as Charlie doesn't realize it...        ;-P

  No complains about Leah; I like to see her happy.  And the lemonade was sizzling.  Perfect.  See ya soon, Siren.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: August 23, 2014 03:05 PM · On: 4: It's All Too Much

  'Bella was the very reason I continue living, without her…I failed to exist. Between my family and the wolves there were at least a dozen pairs of eyes on Bella at all times but I preferred to have my own eyes on her at all times, which made showering interesting.'        Hah!  I bet it does.

  “Hello gorgeous!”        “AHHH SHIT!” Bella jumped backward at least a couple feet causing her to slam into her father’s closed bedroom door.(...) I sat up instantly and readied myself to tend to her but the furious dark orbs that stalked toward me angrily held me stationary. “EDWARD! You…you…”        LOL!!!

  “And here is the interesting part. Both Jake and Leah agree that the connection we have is equivalent to their imprinting.”        No news here.  I always thought it was just as strong with vampires, at least from Bella and Edward's example.  But it's good that the Wolves acknowledge that.

  'He waved his hand dismissively at us and the laptop then headed across the hall to his room. Don’t stay up too late and absolutely NO sleepovers.        Bella groaned miserably when her face turned beet red at her father’s thoughts. “Always the watchful policeman,” she sighed and buried her face in her hands then stomped her feet on the floor repeatedly.'        Heheh!  That was cute.

  Man, but these two are sex-crazed!  Who would say, after what happened in Full Moon...  Not that I'm complaining.        :-P

  I really hope they can work around the treaty with the Wolves.  It would be sad if the Elders forced the issue, considering the friendliness between Edward, Bella, Jacob and Leah here.

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: August 17, 2014 09:18 PM · On: 3: Satisfying

  'After the whole Jake’s-dramatic-imprinting fiasco, I felt like I needed a vacation. Who would have guessed that an imprint is only partial complete when the other party is soon to phase also? That’s exactly what happened. Jacob had imprinted on Leah Clearwater, the only daughter to my father’s deceased friend Harry.'         Leah?? But, that is...  perfect!  I mean, I like the Nessie/Jake pairing, but, this way, Leah isn't left bitter and alone for who knows how long.  And Nessie can always have someone else, when she is of age.  Well done, Siren, really!

  “Bella! What are you doing?”         I turned around and saw Edward shielding his eyes with his hand, my poor chivalrous man. I walked up to him, shirtless. “Edward, you’ve seen me naked before. I really don’t think you need to worry about what is proper anymore.”         “I know, but it just…it doesn’t seem right…”         LOL!!  Unbelievable.         X-D

  “Bella, we’ve gone over this. I will personally change you, I don’t have to like it but I’ll do it.” The flatness in his voice bugged me and Edward seemed to have noticed my body becoming rigid.(...) “I’m more than willing and maybe a little too anxious to start our eternity together but, it’s the pain you’ll have to endure to obtain that forever that truly terrifies me.”        He always bugs me with his rejection of her choices.  This, however, is understandable.  Is he really more accepting?

  'My head snapped up to glare at him just before I jabbed my elbow into his ribs then whispered quietly. “Pervert!”        “Whoa Bella, how did you just do that without hurting yourself?”        “I take vitamin V daily,”'        Interesting.  I thought the 'vitamin' just made her graceful.  So, does it make her stronger too? 

  Answering your questions, Renee was really too much, poor Bella, but she is like that, we know it.  And Jake harassed by the girls, no, it wasn't too much.  Loved that one.        :-}

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2014 09:41 PM · On: 2: Plans for Escape

  “Bella, please…”        “Please what?” she replied serenely and lustfully, drawing out the word what in a joking fashion.        “Please stop torturing me…”        “Torturing you? I’m not torturing you. I’m merely attempting to gain knowledge out of you by any means necessary.”        “Yeah, aka torture and you know it!”        Without warning, she sat back up, grinding her hips into mine, eliciting another moan on my part. She smiled wickedly before pitting her bottom lip as another way of teasing me. “Just tell me the truth and I’ll end this little torture session.”        Hahahahaahh!  That was awesome!  Bella is terrible, poor Edward.        :-P

   And he told her the truth, and she didn't crumble into a puddle of tears and despair.  *tsk, tsk*  When will you learn, Eddie?

  It was a very amusing chapter, Siren.  Loved how Bella knew how to make him straight when needed.  And about the sex talk, yeah, it was funny, especially because she didn't claim to be a virgin this time.  Wonder if Charlie got this little detail...        X-}

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: August 03, 2014 03:08 PM · On: 1: Imprint

  'Everywhere Edward touched on my body it sent my senses careening out of control and my skin burned with each icy feather soft stroke of his fingers. My body was smoldering so much I could actually smell myself burning.(...)        My eyes snapped open suddenly and I sat up in a flash. All I needed was one good whiff of the air around me and Brontë whimpering on the floor to know something was wrong.(...)        “DAD?” I practically flew down the stairs in search of my father.(...)        “God Dad, you might like burnt offerings for breakfast, but I don’t,”'        

  'Despite her large size, she was still my baby.(...) It took her a little time but she had finally warmed up to Edward's presence. Now I saw them as the chaos duo; if one got in trouble for something it was usually the other’s fault and they tried to blame it on the other. How a dog shifts blame, I don’t know.'

  LOL!!  For some reason, I found the passages above hilarious.  I liked specially the parts where it's shown Edward and Brönte getting along.        ^_^

  I'm sure the older readers already told you that, but that was a good start.  I always enjoy seeing them happy.  And Edward seems more accepting of what is about to happen (unless, of course, he goes schyzo again...).

  As for Jacob, no clue.  But I'm for sure curious to hear more about that imprint of his.

Reviewer: RavenFlyer (Signed) · Date: May 04, 2014 03:59 PM · On: History

more please!

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: May 08, 2013 12:04 AM · On: Animal Cruelty

Hmmm, if edward 'keeps it up' [lol pun intended], Bella will be a vampire by june regardless. LOL. Seems like everything about her sense are improving, now she has picked up some agility and speed in the process.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: May 07, 2013 11:44 PM · On: Threats

Wait a minute... Last chapter Edward was doing everything he can to make sure the treaty wasn't going to be a prblm for bella's change. They were trying to find loop holes to avoid the 'biting' issue. Now he is back to not wanting her changed?, w/ no reason why back tracked in your writing. Im confused!.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: May 07, 2013 10:31 PM · On: 8: Can't Bluff Your Way Out

Wow... that is one flimsy loophole. But w.ev's.

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“Damn it, Esme. Where are the scented candles and incense? Those two are sexing up the house again!” -Emmett

LOL.

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Good Chapter. Need more drama.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: May 07, 2013 09:42 PM · On: 7: SINGS

Yea, thats how you 'reclaim' your woman after another man tries to steal a kiss on her neck.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: May 07, 2013 09:04 PM · On: 6: Switzerland Takes a Stand

Why did bella get so defensive about going to the rez?. Edward had a valid point. It is currently dangerous to be there w/ so many out of control shifters. They are extremely volitile and it would be more prudent to stay away till things get under control.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: May 07, 2013 08:02 PM · On: 5: Suggestions

There is no difference to me btw soulmate and imprint. They can call it whatever they want at this point. But as per the wolves knowing Edwards and alice's tricks...Bella really needs to stop having diaherra of the mouth. Those are 'family' secrets. Secrets like those keeps you alive, and the more ppl who know about it shortens you lifespan!. Bella is bound to blow her own cover sooner or later w/ them. Then they will 'act' betrayed, blah blah...

 

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: May 07, 2013 04:45 PM · On: 3: Satisfying

The Leah Jacob imprint, is always how it should have gone. Any other way was stupid. I really ''dislike'' all these twifans that support jb/renesmee nonsense for no other reason than the fact that it was written by SM's. There were a 100 things wrong with that relationship. But the nimrods just accepted it as the one and only thing and have been drooling for more nonsense since.

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I really like the fact that Bella is ''getting hers'' on a daily basis. I like that there is no more confusion w/ jb in the relationship department. She has in Edward everything she needs, to get her daily dose of vitamin V!. LOL. She must be full to the rim w/ the stuff. LOL.

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I like the fact that the wolves get along w/ the cullens without so much animosity. It definetely not a love relationship, but they are more tolerant of each other spaces. The wolves don't just 'come over' whenever they feel like. They are atleast acknowlegding the importance of the treaty line. Its about time a fanfic made note of that fact. I hated that the wolves always seem to be on the steps or in the house of the cullens, without even a ph call to say they were coming. Like seriously, the living room of the cullen home is not the only place where you can discuss things. If that's the case, what was the point of the damn line in the first place? was it just a ''suggestion?''. How about meet at the 15 mile long treaty line?!, thats seems like a good spot. Especially for those w/ ''sensitive'' noses.



Author's Response:

I sometimes think the writers that accepted the JB/Ren thing don't have a daughter so they wouldn't realize HOW wrong it was. I always felt bad for Leah and how things went with her/Sam so why not give her the new pack leader. Take that Sam!

I thought calling it vitamin V was creative and funny but also vague to the unknowning.

There seemed to gaps in SM's treaty story. Like why no wolves until the nomads appeared...hadn't the Cullens been there or a couple years already?! Hmmmm... I fixed it!

Reviewer: turtle1954 (Signed) · Date: April 24, 2013 11:21 PM · On: History

good story

Reviewer: karenlillie (Signed) · Date: April 24, 2013 02:01 AM · On: Animal Cruelty

“What if your boyfriend was a wolf?” Not that I want her, I’m just curious. Seeing as I haven’t imprinted yet.


Ok I'm confused *scratcies head* I thought Jake and Leah imprinted? I've also noticed quite a few minor spelling errors... I love your stories and I think you're doing an awesome job but I'd be glad to help you out with that! I've read this whole series, up to date, in about 2-3 weeks time! I like that its different from SM's version!



Author's Response:

OMG! You're right. I knew it was this story that was Jake/Leah. Downside of being away from writing for so long. I've fixed it. Thank you for letting me know the oops which was a BIG one too.

Reviewer: k1942 (Signed) · Date: April 20, 2013 04:50 AM · On: History

More right than not I'm thinking. A short history lesson is never a bad thing, especially if you have some time to kill before your hot fiance gets home from hunting!



Author's Response:

Oh yes, have to kill time while waiting for your very hot fiance I agree. Plus I had my own few little twists to the history line. ^_^

Reviewer: Sarsacia (Signed) · Date: April 17, 2013 12:59 AM · On: Animal Cruelty

I'm really glad you are back. Good luck with the house and baby - practice sessions can be such fun ;). 

I'll have to head over to the other site to catch up on Everlasting. Can you ask your Twilighted beta why the chapter is getting rejected?

 

sar



Author's Response:

I'm glad to be back also, thank you. The beta just says there discrepincies  (sp?) with past and present text. Not much help!

Reviewer: k1942 (Signed) · Date: April 16, 2013 09:18 PM · On: Animal Cruelty

Wonder why you're having trouble with the betas rejecting your chapter? Doesn't make sense! Jake was funny in this one, the swelled headed pup! I am puzzled at Bronte's actions, I thought she was getting along okay with Edward now? The fuss over those bikini shots of Bella was  a little silly, too!



Author's Response:

Bronte is still leary whenever her master is gone, any devoted pup is. I figured Bella and Renee went to all that trouble to take the photos in New Moon, why not let Edward reap the rewards. MWAHAHAHA

Reviewer: k1942 (Signed) · Date: April 11, 2013 09:14 PM · On: Threats

I'm just wondering how long it will take for Bella and the Cullens to figure out why her things have mysteriously disappeared. Good to have you back, long time no see! So sorry to hear about your loss, but happy that you are in a really good place in your life! See you again!



Author's Response:

Hmmm. they'll figure it out soon. Yes, I'm back and I feel absolutely great to be writing again. Thank you.

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