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Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: September 08, 2012 07:17 PM · On: Epilogue - Likeminded
'I had done my best to avoid domesticated animals in that time, for my frenzy after my first animal feeding resulted in a number of newspaper articles in Europe covering reports of strange farm animal deaths from Ireland’s Mid-West to western Russia. I figured as well that the Volturi were using those reports to better track me.' Tracking you through the news? How strange. With Demetri, they should be hot on your heels. Unless, of course, he is siding with Marcus, and playing dumb about you, probably saying you're immune to his power. Feasible, since you made a good show avoiding Aro's. As long as Aro doesn't touch him... :-]
'He reared up again, this time pressing his massive paws down on my shoulders with his jaws snapping mere inches from my face. I was able to bear his weight easily though, and I grabbed his paws in my hands, pushing them off me whilst kicking the bear’s legs. One blow ended in a resonant crack, which left the bear yelping and whining before it tried to retreat with a broken right hind leg.' Jason, Jason. Bad, bad vampire! I will have to put the animal rights groups on you. P-)
'The leader shook my hand last and said, “I’m Carlisle Cullen, leader of this coven, welcome to the Olympic Peninsula.”' Ah, you meet the old gang. Now you're definitely in good company. Will you involve them in your plans? Can't wait to see what will come out of this. See ya at Equinox, Jason. ^_^
Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading my story and reviewing my chapters, you're quotes as well actually reminded me of a lot of things that I'll need to keep in mind when writing Equinox. I hope you enjoy it as much as this story and there'll be a third and final installment of this series after it. I am working full-time and am busy at home so my updates to Equinox might be spaced a few weeks apart but I hope to post the last chapter this year or early next year. Then there might be a break before I start the third story.
Thanks again for all your comments and as for Demetri, well, I won't ruin the story for you so you'll just have to wait till towards the end of Equinox to find out what the deal is there.
See you there!
Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: September 08, 2012 11:42 AM · On: Chapter 12 - The Woods
“Seriously, you haven’t figured it out yet? I’m the one Aro had kill her.(...) It was quite a deal actually, we killed Didyme and in return, we got free reign to do whatever we wished. Why do you think he’s let us of the hook so much?(...) It’s been a fun millennium really.” “So…you were never really trying to claim territory here?” “Well, it would’ve been nice to have a permanent residence somewhere, but most of what we do is for the thrill.” Looks like you will make Marcus two favors today. So, all she did was for fun?? Just because she knew Aro would have her back no matter what? Obscene. B-[
'For a second, I thought she wouldn’t do it, that she was hesitating but then, she charged towards me full speed. She stopped but a foot away and took two swipes at my head, both of which I dodged without changing position. She continued to make useless strikes in her enraged state. I mocked her, laughing in her face, but I quickly grew tired of her ineptitude, so as she brought her arm down on my head for a tenth try, I sidestepped, and she fell forward.' She relies too much on her gift, huh? Of course, after that she got her bearings and made you sweat, figuratively, even in physical combat. :)
'It hit her, square in the face, bypassing her energy barrier. It was then I realised that Sophia’s ability had another shortcoming; she could only direct it against targets that she was focused on. She wanted to strike me, she wanted to crush everything around her for show, but the rock was unexpected and therefore, her barrier did not protect her from it.' The moment the tide turns. ;)
'Fighting past my fears that smothered me, I launched out a protective bubble to shield me from her energy blasts while I worked. Tendrils sprouted from the bubble’s surface like weeds out of the crevices of a weathered building. These, in turn, split into smaller tendrils that hooked onto every object within reach.(...) Thousands of pebbles and twigs, hundreds of rocks and branches, and several boulders and tree trunks for good measure. They floated languidly for a moment, seeming totally innocuous. I saw Sophia’s eyes dart around as she desperately tried to make note of every object soon to be a projectile.' K.O. Jason wins! X-)
'She uttered one world, “Mer-cy.”' Oho! What happened with Big Bad Sophia? The two millenia old vamp who crushed everyone on her path just because she could, thanks to her little dirty deal? And who wouldn't fall "before the likes of you"? MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! (I know, I'm evil sometimes) P-)
'Animal blood. I can drink animal blood. Hysterical laughter overtook me, as I eyed the terrified herd of cattle.' Ah, it brings me memories. I'm curious to see what will it change for you, and what wll be your plan, Jason. See ya next chapter.
Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: September 07, 2012 01:22 PM · On: Chapter 11 - Enforcers
“I don’t understand why she sought the Volturi’s favour.” “That’s the reason her and Sophia separated.” It took but moments to work out his meaning. “Carina thought their feud with the Volturi should end, that they might finally be able to stop running if they settle their dispute with…a gift.” So, this is why they parted ways. Sophia wasn't keen on forgetting her grudge against the Volturi.
'They were inside the forest, darting smoothly amongst the trees, closing on us.(...) As I watched, the mist became darker in four places.(...) They all wore gloves and were all hooded, making it hard to discern anything about their appearance.' Just like your vision. Hard to believe you haven't the slightest precog capacity. :-]
'Once second of hope was engulfed in flame as Jane withdrew a lighter from her pocket, ignited it, and dropped it upon Chloe’s broken body. Flames spread over her body in a split second.' Noooo.....
Jason, this was awful! But, then again, I suppose this kind of pain is the only thing that could have fueled the blackness for it to really defeat them, right? X_(
'I knew, too, that my attack would be too slow to catch the majority of them before they cleared the meadow and disappeared deep into the forest. No matter, I only ever intended to catch Marcus.(...) “My wife is dead.” “Yet, you never really found out what happened to her, to your Didyme.”(...) “Who in the Volturi knows of this?” “They don’t just know, Marcus. You want to know who killed your wife? Well, he sits on a throne just to your left in that grand castle of yours.” And the truth comes to the surface. Hmm, did his early hesitation have to do with Didyme? Did Aro's condemnation of you two remind him of her somehow?
When Fionna passed you this information, with Siobhan at her side... Was Siobhan the one who "told" her that, or did she get it from Carina before she died? At least this is what your words to Marcus seem to imply.
"I need someone’s location. The one who started all this hasn’t been ticked off my to-kill-list yet.”(...) “She is close. The one you seek hides in a wooded area not far from a small town inside a collapsing farmhouse.” Sophia, I presume. And at your hometown. How symbolic...
Something's coming up that a lot of my readers didn't like but agreed was necessary for the storyline... You wasn't kidding when you said that, my friend. At least, the others escaped unharmed. :-[
Author's Response: I know this chapter was fairly morbid and lacked many happy endings but it's just where the story took me and it's necessary for the plot of my two planned sequels. Yes, Siobhan did pass on that knowledge, it was her best card to pay and she held it back until now. You have to think though on the bright side there's an insidious worm within the Volturi now and Sophia is about to get what's coming to her.
Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: September 06, 2012 09:28 PM · On: Chapter 10 - The Meadow
'He seemed to have let go of his resentment towards me, and Siobhan and Fiona seemed to have softened a little, too. We all smiled weakly to each other, conveying gratitude, friendship, and goodbyes for just in case.' One of the few perks of such live-and-death situations, indeed. :-]
'What happened next was a stupendous, earth-shaking explosion that turned the peaceful meadow into a cloud of pulverised soil and rock.(...)Many were badly maimed with missing appendages. Others were totally disabled, having been ripped asunder by the force of the blast.(...) All in all, two thousand kilos of dynamite had just gone off, leaving several conjoined craters that billowed smoke.' Two thousand...? Wow. Izolde and Siobhan didn't hold their punches. :)
'Sorcha was at the base of the hill. She was trying to repel six vampires, but I saw terror in her expression. She was afraid, and her ability was diminishing, her weakness was the same as mine.' Makes sense, considering the common traits your powers have. And, no offense, Jason, the temper you two have in common. At times. ;)
'Suddenly, the dome I’d thrown up collapsed, breaking into a dozen fragments that reformed into almost avian-like spectres, two of which impacted upon Maggie’s attacker, casting him off of her and incinerating him in the blink of an eye. One by one, they swooped down upon the newborns, engulfing them in flames.' It's a job for... Heheheh! Man, if it wasn't for Jane and Alec, and possibly Chelsea, the Volturi would be toast. Literally. P-)
'Suddenly, air rushed into my lungs as I inhaled, the pressure upon my head disappearing along with the pain. I reluctantly opened my eyes to see Fiona cupping both of Chloe’s cheeks in her hands while Chloe had both of her hands placed on top of hers.' Did I already mention I love this woman? :)
'Carina had gotten to Chloe again. She’d made her kill Fiona, Siobhan, Liam, and Sorcha. The blackness had extended out into a mile-wide dome, and I could sense every moment of it.(...) Carina had chosen to trick me by using my own ability against me, knowing that I would trust it above all my other senses, that, she had figured out, it was the reason it was so difficult to manipulate me.(...) Dermot dropped her head unceremoniously upon her lap and whipped out a lighter. With the lighter ignited, he dropped it upon her, and she exploded into flame.' Dermot. My hero! And what a smart piece of scum Carina was. Now a dead smart piece of scum. P-)
“We’re too late. They’re coming.” Holy Frying Pan! Siobhan better be being very fervorous about the outcome of this. :-{
One of your most thrilling chapters, Jason, no doubt. :)
Author's Response: Thanks so much, a lot of stuff had to come to close here but there's still more to come.
Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: September 03, 2012 08:44 PM · On: Chapter 9 - Intermezzo
'There were sixty of them, ten of which were Immortal Children.' YIKES!!! *hides under his bed* ooo__00__ooo
'During our conversations, Maggie revealed she had an ability, too.(...) From then on, I started referring to her as “Miss Polygraph”, which she didn’t appreciate.(...) After several references to my manhood, sexual preferences, and whether or not I found Maggie attractive (all of which had embarrassing outcomes), I retreated in shame to my room.' *chuckles* :-}
'That day, she had tried to spray me in the eyes with a bottle of surface cleaner. She missed, which gave me the opportunity to grab a bottle of Tabasco sauce and empty it on her head.' What a pest! Sorcha, not you. Good job, by the way. ;)
'As Fiona took her seat again, Dermot’s eyes strayed towards me, and the thing I feared most would happen came to pass. He said, “Hey Jason, do you think you might give us a performance?”' Hah! It was just a matter of time. :)
“I mean even if we get her back, it’ll only be in the physical sense.(...) She will not be the same, she won’t be my little sister anymore.” “I think you underestimate vampires. We are quite emotional creatures, to a far greater degree than humans, but we are more resilient, also. I think you also underestimate Chloe. She is strong and mature beyond her years. She will come through this in much better shape than you think.” Amen, sis, amen.
“We can fight all the vampires at once, but I’ll need several things for this to work.”(...) “Okay, for starters I’ll need a big field near the newborns, a whole lot of blood, and last but not least, some dynamite…or any high explosive will do.” I think I see what is her plan. Simple, but efficient, if I'm right. Explosives... I guess it could work, if it's powerful enough. A pity you can't get your hands on some C4...
“Now, once they lose themselves to their hunting instincts, they will be unable to focus, distracted as they will be by the overpowering odour of blood.” I wonder if this truth won't turn against yourselves. Sorcha doesn't have much of a restraint. :-/
Your fight with Sorcha. While I understand why the others are disappointed, I can't say myself that I'm. She had it coming. ;)
Now, if only you all can survive this next day...
Author's Response: Read on and find out!!! I warn you, something's coming up that a lot of my readers didn't like but agreed was necessary for the storyline...Enjoy! ;)
Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: August 30, 2012 09:17 PM · On: Chapter 8 - The Troops
“Her ability is much like their leader’s, Aro, but she is more powerful because she can maintain a link with a person for a prolonged period of time, and she doesn’t always require physical contact to achieve it. She can also gain a sense of other people close to an individual through them. She is the Volturi’s Aro, Marcus, and Demetri all rolled into one. Such a gift would be highly coveted by Aro.” I've been thinking about this. Fionna would be a great asset for the Volturi, true. But also a great hidrance to a liar snake like Aro. Specially since she can show the truth to others directly, mind to mind. Who knows, maybe she could even weaken Chelsea's influence. I see a great chance of Aro seeing her more as a liability than a prize. :-/
“She’s using Chloe to achieve their goals.(...) When they first found Chloe, Danny bit her and while she was weak and suggestible, Carina implanted a complex suggestion into her mind.”(...) Siobhan asked, “But their goals remain the same?” “Her goals. I sense that for the first time in millennia, her and Sophia have parted ways.” I figured Carina was behind Chloe's behavior after your little tip in my last review. Parted ways, huh? Lemme guess. Carina is all about revenge after loosing Julian, but Sophia either gave up, or need some time to center herself after her loss. Carina prefers immediate reprisal in any case.
'I saw some smoke rise from the carpet at her feet before she stormed off and back into the basement. Her footprints were burnt into the ground, but her shoes seemed undamaged as she left. “Interesting, she can selectively burn the objects she chooses.”(...) “Impressive, not only did she melt the bar, but she vaporised it.” Siobhan added, “That’s more than enough to ignite the venom in a vampire’s body.” Liam added, “And the amazing thing is she is impervious to the heat herself.”' As if your gift wasn't enough, you're also surrounded by the coolest powers, aren't you? :)
'Then, there was an unfathomable shift in the blackness. I had always seen the three elements of my ability as three steps on a ladder.(...) I felt the steps of the ladder draw closer together, intermingle, and coalesce. Suddenly, everything about my ability and it’s many quirks and facets was becoming clearer.(...) Overall, the picture I got of this change was one of restructuring, the neatening of a messy mind.(...) “Siobhan, what did you do to me?”' Indeed. She is amazing, huh? Between you and Sorcha, it makes me believe what Carlisle and Fionna say about her mysterious gift. And gives me hope that all this mess won't result in total loss. :)
“Oh Fiona, this age-old argument is pointless, will you ever give up?” “I bet, as well, that you intervened on behalf of the Olympic Coven when the Volturi came as more than just a witness.” “Oh, I give up.” “No, you don’t, not until you admit I’m right.” “Fine then, I am the almighty goddess, Siobhan. I have power over all you say and do. I bend the fabric of reality to my will. I see to it that the course of events always goes my way. Do not cross me, for your troubles will be many, ten years of bad luck and whatnot, bewitching and cursing, the whole shebang. Happy now?” LMAOOOO!!! X-D
“We better pray for some infighting if there’s to be any hope of ‘Plan A’ working.”(...) “This mess is a lot bigger than we thought.” Uh-oh!!
Very good chapter, Jason. Loved Siobhan's coven entering the fray. I think you have seriously good writing skills. ^__^
Author's Response: Thanks so much, that means a lot and I'm glad you enjoyed the entrance of the Irish Coven into the story, especially Siobhan's sarcasm about her ability. Thanks for continuing to read.
Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: August 25, 2012 01:21 PM · On: Chapter 7 - Reprisal
'I remembered her vaguely speaking of a truth she’d sensed from Sorcha, that she, too, was special. Even as a human, her body temperature was running on average at about one hundred and ten degrees Fahrenheit. From our few encounters, I remembered her being bossy and hot-tempered, quick to take offence and to argue.(...) His eyes and the area around them were black and sooty, smoke rose from the sockets, and a few patches of skin were still hot enough to glow. She had somehow burned out his eyes with her bare hands.' When you first described Sorcha's body heat and temper, I found myself thinking if any of her ancestors had passed by the western United States. Now I see her hotness (pun intended) have another source. ;)
By the way, it was very cathartic to see Sorcha burning Danny. Imagine that, to put a nine year old through a week of that agony...
“Did you say you injected her with venom?” “Yes, I think it’s less traumatic to get a needle to the heart than having your throat ripped open.” Just like Edward did for Bella. Great minds think alike. :)
“I am a manifestation of your subconscious mind. Since the day you received your friend’s chain, the blackness has conjured me to alert you to the perils along your path.” “Are you saying I can use the blackness to predict the future?” "Hardly, your ability is complex and multi-faceted enough without any extra quirks like precognition. No, the blackness just allows your mind to be more open to possibilities, to be more aware of how current events will evolve as time transpires.” Pity. To speak with the dead and precognition would be some intriguing traits. Still awesome as it is, though. :-]
'“Your ability, you hastened your own change. Why couldn’t you do it for someone else?”(...) Chloe suddenly uttered something feebly, “You need…help.”' That was a good move. And the way Chloe helped... You two would make a good team. For a moment, I thought you wouldn't have to worry about her being labeled as an Immortal Child...
“Her…her intention is not to kill the boy but…but to change him. She’s already done it. He’ll be a vampire in a matter of days.” “He’s even younger than her; he’ll never be able to control himself. He’ll be…” “An Immortal Child, the gravest sin in the eyes of the Volturi.” ...until she did this! What the Hell possessed her?
Man, I don't see it ending well. :(
Author's Response: Oh let me tell you now, it really, really won't. I think if you give it some thought though you'll figure out who or what possessed her to do that. Thanks again for reviewing.
Reviewer: xanath (Signed) · Date: August 22, 2012 02:51 PM · On: Epilogue - Likeminded
This story was so good that I could not stop reading...I woke up at 4:30 and could not get back to sleep wondering what would happen next, soooo I got up and back to reading! I found the other story first and found that this one came before it. I will now read the other one. I really loved that this one was about some of the other vampires in the Twilight series. Have you read the story about Fred?
Thanks - Xanath
Author's Response: Thanks so much and I'm thrilled you liked it so much. No, I haven't read that story but if you can send me on the details I'll definitely look into it. I hope you enjoy Equinox, too. My chapters are long so I should be updating it every 1-3 weeks. I have limited writing time so please bear with me! Thanks again for reviewing.
Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: August 19, 2012 09:08 PM · On: Chapter 6 - Friendly Face
"Watch your mouth, leech, unlike you I actually help people, and as for my feeding habits, if you must know, it’s called donated blood." Ah, so she is really one of the good guys. I was hopeful. :)
"I’m a truth-seer. I merely need to concentrate on a person or a situation, and I gain complete understanding of it. I know things that have happened and how they have led to a current situation. With people, I can know their whole lives in and out if I choose, and I can see how other lives intertwine with theirs."(...) "Oh, well along with my aunt’s ability to see truth, she can also show people truth. She updates me when I come here on what she learns." Wow. Alice would love to meet this woman. And Aro would be in crazy acquisition mode if he learned about her. And, just for the record, again, I didn't peek this chapter before guessing she was Dermot's aunt in the last review. ;)
"I don’t know how long I was there, but it was still dark when she found me, a kindly woman named Siobhan. I remember her being stunningly beautiful but a very big woman with reddish eyes.(...) She said I was going to die, and she could end my suffering, or she could save me, though I might not like how I would be saved. I was delirious and just told her to help me, and that’s when I was changed." Siobhan. First reference to the story we already know. Good touch. And I like that you made her and her coven at least vigilantes. Still beats the vampires who kill indiscriminately, without minding who. :-]
'Dermot stood as I did and waving his hands, he said, "Hold up, you aren’t saying that you’re switching to the packaged diet?" "I think that would be best for me." "Ah, man, and I was looking forward to having a hunting partner." Fiona backhanded his leg and said, "Don’t pressure him, if he wants to live my way, then he can." She looked very pleased with her nephew’s dismay.' *chuckles* X-)
"She creates potent physical barriers.(...) It is vaguely similar to your ability but far less versatile. She is your opposite in the sense that she requires emotional calm to stabilise her barriers." Again, a dichotomy. You, rage; Sophia, calmness. Interesting.
"Fiona, what have you seen?" "Something so vile, how could they? Oh no, poor Sorcha."(...) "I must get back to Limerick. Sorcha is in critical condition, and she might not make it. With your permission, Jason, I could change her."(...) "You must return to Clare, to Shannon where your sister’s staying." "Why? What’s happened?" "A decision has already been made for Chloe." Hmm... Sorcha must be dying from the stabs. So, I imagine the vile thing Fiona saw was about Chloe. What could Danny and Sophia be up to? :-/
Truckloads of information in this chapter, Jason. Very enllightening. And very well done. ^_^
Author's Response: Thanks very much, this was a chapter full of revelations, wasn't it?! I think you'll understand after reading the next chapter why Fiona described what she saw as "vile".
Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: August 19, 2012 03:34 PM · On: Chapter 5 - Excuses
"Things are going to get worse before they get better. You’ll want to grieve, to die, like right now." "I’m dangerous, to everyone, I’m right to want death." "It serves no purpose, not in the long run." "What do you mean? Please explain it to me." "You’re stronger than you think. You can survive this change and those yet to pass." You once considered if your power could tap into the next world, of if there was a less magical explanation for picking the last thoughts of a deceased from an object. I'm beginning to think it is option A, Jason. :-]
'I’d found that, with practice, the sensory side of my ability was easily roused and manipulated without pain or strong emotions. I spread it around me like a bubble and explored the puniest of particles within it.(...) I watched strange oblong cells being consumed by a larger multicellular creature that looked like a clear plastic bag filled with glue. (...) Then, a thought occurred to me, a dangerous one: if I were the predator of the human world then who were the bullies?' Interesting how the bacterial world inspired you. As you said, a dangerous thought, but I can see the appeal.
'He seemed to sense my innate hostility but was unperturbed by it. He smiled genially, which was a little disarming, but I still held myself tense, thinking his apparent friendliness was a ruse. He stuck out a hand very suddenly, which caused me to hop back. Sniggering, he still offered it to me. I took it tentatively. He, however, gripped my hand firmly and shook vigorously. “The name’s Dermot, Dermot McMahon.”' Such a rare find, a friendly vampire like this Dermot fella. I'm curious to see your next meeting. And his "aunt". :)
'She blurted it out without a moment’s hesitation. Her mistake, I lied.' Oh, Jason. Naughty, naughty. :-]
'I was beginning to lose interest in their exchange, as was everyone else in the bar, when something clicked in my mind. The boy’s voice was familiar but in a vague way. I tried to trace it. I knew I remembered it from school. I found that, as I delved deeper into my human memories, they became fuzzier, unclear, as though every moment of my human life had been experienced in the midst of a thick fog.' Ah, I was curious about your human memories, seeing that your change was different, and your mind isn't exactly an average one. ;)
Eventful, your night at Limerick. Can't say that Garry, Mason and Jake didn't deserved what you gave them. And my compliments for really saving Sorcha, and not just leaving her there, or making her the dessert. :-P
'I hadn’t noticed the doctor still standing there and when I did, I gave a start. She watched me with revulsion that I didn’t understand at the time. I looked back bemused but examined her furtively. Mahogany hair in curls, porcelain skin, sharp facial features, burgundy eyes that were near claret.' Well, well, what do we have here? The doctor at Limerick? Too much of a coincidence... Vampire, likes to help people, not the way he does... Is she, by any chance, Dermot's aunt? I know, I know, the answer is ahead. ;)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review but I will say don't make up your mind too soon about the visions of Fionn...
Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: August 14, 2012 10:08 PM · On: Chapter 4 - The Change
'As if to confirm my wary suspicion, I saw the outline of several forms moving towards me. I soon realised that they were human, but I also noted that they moved far too quickly and seemed to glide over the earth rather than step upon it. I observed that they wore hooded black cloaks, their faces obscured.(...) I felt a presence at my back, but it did not arouse fear but protectiveness. I could not turn to see who or what I was protecting, but I knew these hooded characters were a threat to it' The Volturi. I'm beginning to think your powers are precognitive, together with everything else. I wonder who you was trying to protect in there...
'I felt pain to make a stab wound feel like the prick of a pin. Then, my body spasmed and heaved, rendering my limbs useless. I wanted to jerk away from the source of my agony, but I couldn’t even determine where it was coming from. It felt like my whole body was burning from the inside out.(...) The light that filtered in caught the side of his face. I screeched murderously. “Danny!” He smirked and replied, “Jason, I told you I’d let you live only a little longer.”' Emphasis in little. Geez... :(
'Upon coming across a venom molecule, the blackness broke into hooked microfilaments that towed it along. Eventually, the blackness had gathered them all and through various pathways, they flowed towards my chest cavity.(...) I roared and bellowed as my own ability helped speed the transformation. As each molecule of venom bound to a cell and carried out its activities, the blackness would scoop it up the microsecond it finished and deliver it to a new substrate.' Jason, your power is the most bizarre thing I ever saw in any story. Congratulations! Specially in the way it seems to act on it's own volition, and seems to "know" things. 0_0
'The rest of my body felt like a solid block full of only the most miniscule of pores. They were so tiny that you’d need a microscope to view them, well, anyone else would. I wondered what their purpose was.' Me too.
'Suddenly, I felt a surge of force bolting from her eyes in my direction. I stumbled back, but the blackness held it from my body. I could not reach around her shield, but something told me she had an ability not unlike mine. Yet, it was clear whose was the most powerful.(...) I rammed her with all the force I could, and her energy reflected back upon her. Sophia and Carina were launched wide of my garden, and into a field across the road.' Hahahah! You showed her, Jason. But I bet Sophia and her "patience" aren't done with you. Too tempting, the idea of doubling the power of her coven, if she manages to entice you. That, or the need to get rid of the competition. Neither a good prospect. :-/
'I felt like something had caught in my throat. My breathing accelerated as the woman pleaded with her daughter to go back to bed. Suddenly, the burning thirst meant nothing. I heard the cries of the younger sister upstairs. She’d seen me and thought I was a bogeyman, a monster.' Carlisle would be proud of you, man. For managing to spare both Chloe and this family. Very good, the description of you getting closer and closer to Brian. It was terrifying. ^_^
Monolithic, cataclysmic, apocalyptic... Not enough words for this chapter. A pity I can't read anymore today. See you soon, Jason. ;)
Author's Response: Wow, thanks for the compliments on this chapter. I was trying to make it not so much the main event but one of the most pivitol parts of the story, a big turning point. I hope "Excuses" and all the other chapters live up to this one for you. Thanks again.
Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2012 04:58 PM · On: Chapter 3 - Prodigal
'After my mother’s body was removed from the house, the Gardaí became suspicious, especially after the post mortem results.(...) Her hand was not so much fractured but smashed into dozens of pieces as though it had been pummelled by a sledgehammer, or a truck had rolled over it.(...) Finally, by the end of October, they gave up, not because they were satisfied with our testimony but for lack of evidence to gainsay it.' Hmm, nice job. MUAHAHAHA! *slap in the back of the head* Ouch!! Sorry! Anyway, I wonder what stories the Gardaí will tell among themselves about this mystery...
'Chloe was in hysterics for most of it. She could barely stifle the wails during the ceremony, and the tears never stopped flowing. She felt such guilt, mostly for how she’d hurt dad.' Tsk! I knew she would take it hard. And how could she not? :(
'Her ability seemed to have something to do with emotions, both those that brought joy and those that brought pain. She seemed very aware of how people were feeling, as I discovered in regards her suppression of my ability.' Hah! I got it right last chapter. I swear, I didn't peek this one before giving my assessment of Chloe's gift. :)
'He was surreal in appearance. He wore nothing but a pair of jeans and plain black t-shirt, which was odd given the weather.(...) His eyes, though, were what drew my attention the most. The irises looked fluid, as though something were flowing in circles around his pinpoint pupils, but the colour, so vivid, was the colour of blood.(...) It was Danny Callaghan.' Danny...? Oh, Hell!! Man, that was close! Lucky you Sophia had other plans. :-P
'I had an aversion to venturing into the town. Undoubtedly, I was seen as the wicked boy who had brought tragedy and grief to this community.(...) “I think if you actually allowed yourself to see, you’d find more people are concerned for you than condemning you.”(...) “You may have been gone a long time, young man, but no one’s forgotten you. You were such a happy, imaginative child. I’m glad that while he was alive, Fionn had you as a friend, even after you went away.”' Blessed woman, this Ms. Reardon. ^_^
'I had the slight burning in my mind that fuelled the blackness enough that a tendril puffed out of my hand, enveloping the Scorpio chain. Then, my mindset shifted, rearranged.(...) The blackness interpreted the mental wellbeing I gained from it as a final impression, a line of a will or, boiling the feeling down, just three words: don’t grieve, live.(...) The letters had been completely reformed into a totally dissimilar word, probably by the blackness. The strange shape the letters took, the protruding bold script with jointed ends was almost foreboding and yet, the word itself seemed so innocuous. It just read “Change”.' Picking up the last thoughts of the dead, and now it seems to know things you don't. Your power is becoming more and more freakishly interesting, Jason. :-]
Glad to see your spirits lifted for once. Fionn was really a great guy.
Author's Response: Thanks again, I wanted to really show his relationship with Fionn and the people of Kilkee in this chapter so it was clear how much of a loss it was for him to have to leave and to lose his friend. I hope you enjoy the next chapter, as the title suggests, it is an important one.
Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: August 07, 2012 05:18 AM · On: Chapter 2 - Foreclosure
'I admitted fully that I’d caught them with drugs, and they tried to kick the crap out of me. They believed that much because the four boys were still a little inebriated when they were found.(...) Still, what the principal, Mrs. Anne Fogarty, couldn’t comprehend was how I’d defeated four boys twice my size in close quarters.' Your feat with the "blackness" was something worth see. My compliments for not killing them, by the way. But, really, I liked more when you smashed Gary's face against the sink using only your hand. *sigh* I know, you may call me vengeful. P-)
"My point is that they likely will not face prison time or even see the inside of a court, if their parents’ lawyers have anything to say about it. Therefore, I will have no choice, if they are acquitted, but to allow them back to school."(...) "Their parents contribute much to this school. It wouldn’t be in our best interests to expel them." What a hag! Are you sure you didn't have any speck of blackness left? Just to, say, break her chair? At least it would take away her pose. :-P
'I quickly found that every letter I thought was a bill was, in fact, more notices and warnings of legal action ensuing if overdue payments were not met.' That is what I call karma. Just sorry that you and Chloe will be dragged down with your parents. I liked how you two began to make plans to get through this, cheering each other. :-]
"How dare you judge me. I’ve done nothing but provide for you ungrateful brats since the day you wormed out of me. If I hadn’t used that money, there’d have been no food on the table for the past two months. There wouldn’t have been electricity either, so you could play your precious videogames or watch your geeky documentaries."(...) "Whatever, it’s not like I wanted any of you in the first place. The only reason you exist is because your father wanted heirs. If only I had been more ruthless back then." Sickening. :(
'Then, my mother let out a scream so chilling that I forgot to breathe.(...) Then, out of corner of my eye, I noticed Chloe.(...) Her eyes were simultaneously glazed over, but focused…on our mother.(...) "I searched for her sense of empathy, compassion…and turned it against her, amplified it."(...) "I only…wanted her to feel…remorse, guilt for once. I didn’t think it would stop her heart."' Holy...! When you hinted Chloe also have a gift, I thought she was just able to hold yours back, Jason. Poor girl. This will haunt her. :(
You two seem to be complementary, I think. While you affect the physical world around you, Chloe seems to affect emotions. Kind like Jasper. I just wonder if it's at mental or physical level. Very interesting.
Hard to believe all this happened to you in a single day. While what Chloe did is not something I would want to see happening in cold blood, I can't feel sorry for Orla. You're all better without her, in the long run. Cold, I know, but I can't help it. You did a good job in making her hateful. ;)
Author's Response: Thanks, I really wanted people to feel nothing but negative emotions towards the parents, I wanted the father to seem pitiful and cowardly and the mother to be a vile bitch so I'm glad you think she's hateful! I'm glad you find their abilities interesting, I wanted them to be complimentary and relatively unique, especially Jason's. I hope you enjoy the next chapter. Thanks again.
Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: August 05, 2012 09:27 AM · On: Preface & Chapter 1 - Reminisce
Hi, Jason. Nice to meet another Twi-guy. I have been curious about your...biography for a while. Now that you released a sequel, I finally decided to get into it. Lemme see...
Man, you weren't kidding when you talked about your family in the summary. They're really something else. Ah, but little Chloe, what she did to bring you a cake for your birthday... She's truly a jewel. :)
'My friends had grown older, too, and most of them moved on a lot faster than me.(...) Perhaps I only held on because at least they had the chance to grow out of childish games and fantastical notions. For me, I was torn from my imagined world prematurely and dropped in a bemused heap into the real one.' Perhaps. Anyway, I think it's healthy to always keep a little corner or your heart for your inner child. Specially with a barren family like yours. :-]
'I found the fire had transformed into something I could not quite identify, it felt like an energy, as though the searing heat had become some form that really had no comparison.(...) I tried to view this force in my mind's eye and could see nothing but a billowing blackness like thick smoke.(...) I touched every blade of grass and every tree branch and understood them down to the infinitesimal atoms that formed their being(...) Like the hand of a mighty giant it clasped around the car.' Wow. This is your gift? Impressive. :-o
"You realise how difficult you've made things for all of us? The media coverage, the interference with our lives and schedules, all the time you've consumed rebelling and now you're just lying there a useless heap and the icing is that we have to hang around this bloody hospital and act like we care!" Man, I know your parents leave a lot to be desired, but this... I have no words. :-[
'I caught a glimpse of the doctor as she quietly exited the room.(...) What struck me the most were her eyes. They were simultaneously soft and warming but equally they could gaze upon the world with uncanny sharpness. Then there was the colour, a strange shade of red like burgundy or almost claret.(...) She was cold, very cold.' A very familiar description. A doctor, huh? But not like Carlisle, I see. I wonder if she strikes at necks or blood bags...
Not bad a beginning, Jason. Not bad at all. ^_^
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter. I really put a lot into Hunter's Moon and I hope that you find the coming chapters and the sequel, Equinox, as good.
Reviewer: coldbeatle89 (Signed) · Date: November 27, 2011 09:43 PM · On: Chapter 3 - Prodigal
Damn it, the more I read, the more I can't wait to go back to Clare. Only two more weeks.
Reviewer: coldbeatle89 (Signed) · Date: November 27, 2011 08:46 PM · On: Preface & Chapter 1 - Reminisce
Lemme correct myself: My grandparents live in Kilbaha, thus why I've been to Kilkee yearly every year of my life.
Reviewer: coldbeatle89 (Signed) · Date: November 27, 2011 05:59 PM · On: Preface & Chapter 1 - Reminisce
Odd, I've been to Kilkee every year of my life. Must read this now. :D
Reviewer: PurpleJelly (Signed) · Date: March 27, 2011 03:48 PM · On: Preface & Chapter 1 - Reminisce
wow, i just finished the story and i have to say its amazing! not to mention the fact that there's no irish stereotyping in it, and thats a definate bonus :D
you have to write a sequel, you cant just leave the story there! its got plenty of potential and im sure itl be great :D
Author's Response: Thanks so much, I'll do my best. I'm currently working on a Battlestar Galactica fanfic that I'm planning for Fanfiction.com because I can't stand how that series ended (just watched it on DVD you see), so I'll be getting back to Hunter's Moon afterwards. Thanks again for yuor review.
Reviewer: SkittleE (Signed) · Date: March 03, 2011 10:56 AM · On: Epilogue - Likeminded
Aw, it's finally finished. How sad. But you have to promise me there's a sequel! You can't just leave me there! He met the Cullen's! I didn't think he would, but this is still a new high on the rank of awesomeness for you story. And that's a pretty big high. If there is a sequel, (and there will be lest you want me to sneak into your house at the dead of night and hit you with a computer), I can't wait to read it!
Author's Response: Well with the threat of an impending strike by a computer, I most definitely must write a sequel! I will warn you it'll be a while before I start it, I have ambitions to be a writer and I put my original material on hold to experiment with fan fiction, but I definitely promise you'll be reading more about Jason Culhane. Thanks for being such a dedicated reader and I hope to have new stories for you soon.
Reviewer: SkittleE (Signed) · Date: February 27, 2011 09:53 AM · On: Chapter 12 - The Woods
Violence solves everything! Yay! And he's figured out he can drink animal blood. The world would be just peachy if he didn't seem insane. :D
I look forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: Hope so because the next chapter is the last, after which I'm taking a break to concentrate on my own original material and maybe doing a sequel to Hunter's Moon some time later in the year.
Reviewer: SkittleE (Signed) · Date: February 15, 2011 11:04 AM · On: Chapter 11 - Enforcers
Yes! You finally updated! And now I'm completely lost, not knowing who he's going after. Curse you and your amazing story!
Author's Response: Haha, I'll take that as a compliment. Next chapter is shorter so you won't have as long to wait to find out who. Thanks for reviewing as always.
Reviewer: SkittleE (Signed) · Date: January 15, 2011 09:46 AM · On: Chapter 10 - The Meadow
Thank you for updating so quickly! You are awesome! And then you had to do another cliff-hanger. So now I'm conflicted. Great chapter! Please update just as soon as you did for this chapter!
Author's Response: Few days tops, I promise, thanks for your equally speedy review!
Reviewer: SkittleE (Signed) · Date: January 13, 2011 04:11 PM · On: Chapter 9 - Intermezzo
Sorry I didn't review for the last chapter, I don't know why I didn't. But I'm really glad that Jason has improved his ability and that they're about to do the battle! Please update soon!
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm uploading the next chapter as we speak.
Reviewer: eleweny (Signed) · Date: December 12, 2010 06:35 PM · On: Chapter 8 - The Troops
I like the way the story starts and wraps around the other characters :)
*hopes for some serious stuff like another coven involved*
Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing, gonna try and update soon.
Reviewer: LordXeenTheGreat (Signed) · Date: December 08, 2010 05:42 AM · On: Chapter 8 - The Troops
Great Chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you, update will be a while off I'm afraid.
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