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Reviewer: adirondackmommi (Signed) · Date: December 03, 2012 06:57 AM · On: Deception - PART ONE

I am a huge Emmett fan, so the thought of him being dominated (by anyone but me) is a little sad, but havig said that..... love this idea.

Reviewer: southern girl (Signed) · Date: September 13, 2011 10:44 PM · On: Submit

This was a first time I have read this genre.  Well done!!!! You did capture the essence of a pride of lions and you're delivery was tastefully done

Reviewer: KeyeCullen (Signed) · Date: May 04, 2011 09:32 PM · On: Deception - PART TWO

As always, I am intrigued by this story. It almost has a National Geographic feel to it. Like you could almost parallel it towards any species. I mean this in a good way, of course.

I cannot wait to read what happens next.

Keye

Reviewer: kriskit5 (Signed) · Date: April 25, 2011 05:36 PM · On: Deception - PART TWO

Will you write a fanfic on the female cullen hierarchy?



Author's Response:

I hadn't really planned on it.  In my story the females don't really fight amongst themselves.  They can live peacably unlike those pesky males.

Thanks for commenting.

Reviewer: ali208 (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2011 06:48 PM · On: Becoming Beta

I thought about it all day while at school. Who was gonna dominate who, and no matter what I considered Jasper always dominated. Edward is such a selfloathing sissy boy, and what is that age old saying. How can you love someone if you can't love yourself. Well I think that applies; how can you dominate someone when you can't dominate yourself. At least that was my thought prossess.



Author's Response:

Sorry for the delay in responding.   As much as I love Edward, I sort of have the same attitude about him as you do.   In my mind there was never any question that Jasper would dominate Edward. 

Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: delilah69 (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2011 06:13 PM · On: Deception - PART TWO

i was worried for edward! im glad that they came out unharmed! im interested in a volturi perspective.



Author's Response:

  Carlisle was worried too. ;o)  Thank you for reading.

Reviewer: ali208 (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2011 11:12 AM · On: Submit

WOW I have to say your review of your own story didn't reel me in it was the comment you posted about your favorite review. National Geographic for vampires. I have to say I am pleasently surprised, and am looking forward to seeing where you take this, oh and I enjoy your writing style, not redundent and easily imagined. Thank you for sharing.



Author's Response:

Thanks so much.  Sometimes I think I get too wordy, I'm glad you can see beyond that. ;o)   I think I need to work on my story summary.  LOL

Reviewer: KeyeCullen (Signed) · Date: April 10, 2011 04:03 PM · On: Deception - PART ONE

I am riveted and cannot wait to read what happens next!

Keye

Author's Response:

Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Disneyvampire (Signed) · Date: April 06, 2011 03:20 PM · On: Submit

Fascinating! Like a pack of wolves, the Alpha must teach the younger ones to submit or there would be no order on the pack. I guess the reviewer who said it was like a National Geographic article about Vampires was close to being right.

I do not care for the slash parts. I have never liked slash stories with the Twilight characters. It seems so, so very far from what they are in the books. I always see our beloved Cullens with their mates, very hetero and with a strong mating drive FOR THEIR MATES, not male for male.  

I don't know that it is neccesary for the young male vampires to submit that way, but hey! It is your story and that is what you have writtten. However, the thought of beautiful, gentle Carlisle doing that to my absoluting stunning Edward, gorgeous, sensitive Jasper and hunky manly man Emmett revolts me. 

But it is your plot bunny on how Carlisle would make the young males be part of a family and not total savages and it is fascinating just the same.

I give you 10 stars out of ten stars for your story because you write so beautifully and clear and you are determined to write this story. That is admirable. I would have to give 0 stars for the slash if there was a category  for that, but that is just my not liking the Twilight characters being so out of character we hardly recognize them.

Over all, a very good job. Excellent!

Disney Vampire



Author's Response:

Considering you don't like slash your review is very much appreciated.

I have to admit when I first started reading fanfic I thought the slash angle was a little weird, but I've read some really good ones so I've gotten over it.   I do like canon couples, in fact I prefer them so this was a way for me to write slash and still keep the family intact.  

Ironically, I got the idea for my other story Requiem for Insanity (which I believe you're reading) from a popular slash story called I Wept Not. There is no real similarities between the two stories other than Edward is human and the Cullens are vampires which is a big plot point in ROI.

The only part of this story that I think might be a little creepy is that Carlisle is the father figure and he is engaged in sexual activity with the boys but I explain that away by blaming instincts.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Reviewer: idealskeptic (Signed) · Date: April 06, 2011 07:22 AM · On: Deception - PART ONE

Another beautifully written chapter! And the addition of Rosalie into the mix is perfect. I'm eager to read the second part!

By the way, did you know that this story is on the nomination list for best slash at the Sunflower Awards?



Author's Response:

I did not know that....thank you for letting me know and thanks for reading.

Reviewer: nwalto (Signed) · Date: April 05, 2011 07:44 PM · On: Submit

Holy cow! A completely different spin on the relationships between the boys!

Author's Response:

Yes I wanted to keep the couples canon and that's  hard to do with slash, so I came up with this alternative.  Thanks for reading.

Reviewer: kitkatr (Signed) · Date: April 05, 2011 07:35 PM · On: Deception - PART ONE

fascinating!  can't wait to see how this plays out!



Author's Response:

Thanks for reading.

Reviewer: kimboacp (Signed) · Date: April 05, 2011 06:33 PM · On: Deception - PART ONE

Can't wait for part two of Emmett and Edward.



Author's Response:

Still editing, but coming soon.  Thanks for reading.

Reviewer: delilah69 (Signed) · Date: April 05, 2011 06:17 PM · On: Deception - PART ONE

will edward be able to mount emmet? or will emmet's size be enough to win?



Author's Response:

Emmett's size and strength could be a problem, but we'll see.  ;o)  Thanks for the comment.

Reviewer: 10of15 (Signed) · Date: March 28, 2011 02:24 AM · On: Control

I am glad you wrote that author's note.  All though it seems that Jasper's and Edward's scene was just as aggressive.  I look forward to the Edward / Emett scene, as teasing taken can be passive aggressive so when Emett keeps it up beyond reasonable, isn't he displaying aggression that needs to be addressed?  How does Edward handle the "public" humliation of being dominated?  It must be very difficult, having everyone laugh at his trials with the nomad and then have Carlisle dominate him in front of everyone.  While I understands Carlisle's need to maintain control, it seems as if he is willing to let Jasper and Emett torment Edward without allowing Edward to stand up for himself



Author's Response:

Regarding the humiliation of Edward....See you're thinking like a human ;o).    There would be no humilation in submitting to Carlisle or anyone else. Even when he submitted to Jasper with Alice and Carlisle within ear shot he felt no humiliation, just as animals don't feel it when they are put down by a more dominant member of their pack.  It's just an instinctual response and regardless whether he is on the giving or receiving end, there would be no shame and regardless of the outcome it's okay and feels right.

As far as the verbal assaults, well that's just typical brother on brother teasing and though Edward has the right to be annoyed he can't attack out of aggression because he is capable of killing his sibling.

Thanks for your comments.  I actually just finished the next one shot today....it's an 18,000 word monster that is going to take FOREVER to edit.  I might break it up into two chapters.

Reviewer: foxilady (Signed) · Date: February 03, 2011 07:30 AM · On: Control

I have some idea. It would be interesting to see Jasper mount Carlisle. I think Jass certainly could do this.  What would feel Carlisle? What would happen inside the family? How would Jass behave as Alfa?

With respect

Lyudmyla



Author's Response:

Good idea and very possible.  Jasper, has always been on par with Carlisle in so many ways and he is by far the superior fighter IMO.  Not sure that I'm the one to write it though.   I like Carlisle as leader of the coven.  There is something to be said for cool evenhandedness in times of stress.  

Reviewer: foxilady (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2011 09:05 AM · On: Control

I like the story very much. It's wonderfull. But Idon't like seeing Edward always as a submissive. You say that you see Edward like he must be a buttom. But I don't see it at all. Despite Edward is 17 (Jasper and Emmet aren't very much older) I think Edward possessmuch more willpower and selfcontrol than them both. He had never had any woman before he met Bella and I see it only like a plus for him - he doesn't changes for peaces. He was very long time alone among mated pairs and it's never did any influence on him to seek someone. I think he is mind-independent. Despite he is the youngest I see him like very muture and selfcontent one. (He lived rather long period of time without the family and did not need any company.-Independence.) I see him rather being alone than being submissive. I believe in vampire world number of years is the last thing in definition leader. He had will to abondon Bella in New Moon (how many vampires can do the same thing?) I don't say it was smart thing to do  but anyway it needs will. My opinien- he will never submit to anyone who are only stronger than he is, he wilingly submit only to Carlisle becouse he know that Carlisle truly love him and always care for him. With Jass it's only about who is stronger and anyway I don't think after Edward submit to Jasper thie brother's love became stronger.

Jasper. Yes, he is much more expiriencied fighter than Edward, but I feel like leadership it is not only about being the best fighter, it's much moreabout to be able control your emotions and possess willpower, be eager to keep responsability for the family...In Stef.M. though Emmet has much more force in the family he also the weakiest fighter and Edward and Jasper are equals (despite Edward is younger). Jass. He in Stef. M. certainly lack of selfcontrol and willpower and stumina -these are his weak places. Lieder has to possess it all and he - just no. I believe Ed could be Alfa but he will never be interested in this while Carlisle is alive (he is good with Carlisle as Alfa), but I certainly see him as Beta. And wuy Edward's gift they allcould aesily resist while Jass's not? It is not very fair. It is hurdly fair for him to be sub becouse he is the youngest, too. I am so sad and bitter for Edward. Being sub for the all males in coven doesn't give any pride to the lion, it makes him girl-boy and with Edward it is so wrong. Anyway that's my own opinien.

Please tell me if Edward always will be sub for his brothers. For me it importante if I understend anything in this story or I just want impossible?

Thank you very much that you share your talant with us and excuse me for my terrible English.

Lyudmyla



Author's Response:

I know this is a touche subject and I'm not sure I completely understand why.  Maybe because I advertise this as "canon" or at least the possibility that it could be canon so people take offense to my assumption that Edward is submissive to the others.  For all intents and purposes SM had Edward as coven leader by the time we read Breaking Dawn and I was always confused by that.

Instead I looked at just the facts we were given. Jasper has decades over Edward in vampire years....five decades to be exact, but that isn't why he is a better Beta.  He is in fact the better fighter, hands down, he would have to be to survive all he survived in the South. I never understood SM's comments in Miidnight Sun about Edward's observation that he and Jasper were equally matched.  I'm under the assumption that Edward never saw any fighting as part of the Cullens in all the decades he'd been with them.  Only his mind reading ability gives him a true advantage and that can be beat or undermined.   In my story Jasper has  "mounted" dozens and dozens if not hundreds of young males, and there is nothing in Jasper's temperament that suggests he is anything but a strong steady leader, probably better than Carlisle, all things considered.  Edward had only been introduced into this world of sexual dominance a few months before and when he and Jasper fought, he only had his encounter with Carlisle to guide him.   To me, it was a no brainer that Jasper would best Edward, even if Alice hadn't interfered.  Compound that with Bella's change and all these new unexplored sexual feelings and it would unrealistic (in my opinion) for me to write Edward any other way then how he is right now.  He's my favorite character so its not like I'm tormenting him for fun..it just makes sense and in all my stories, being submissive is very gratifying and comforting, it isn't meant to be degrading or humiliating.

Edward and Emmett haven't fought yet so he is only submissive to Carlisle and Jasper at the moment. 

The other thing to keep in mind, as is true for any pack animal, all roles within a pack or pride change constantly.   The only difference is that vampires live forever so the changing of roles might happen every few decades or even centuries, rather than weekly or monthly.  A lot of people want to see Edward top Jasper, which could and would likely happen, but I envisioned it years in the future.

Hope that explanation helps and thanks for your comments.

PS - Even if I think I've provided more than enough proof for the reasons behind Edward's submissive nature to Jasper, I have to admit, I always feel something is "wrong" when I read other slash and Edward is dominate so obviously my personal feelings do play a role in these chapters and how I write them.

 

Reviewer: MareyahJ (Signed) · Date: January 28, 2011 12:33 PM · On: Control

Is Edward going to be the only submissive male?  When did Emmett submit to Jasper?  Why did/does Carlisle treat Edward so harshly and why the embarassment?  Also, in anearlier chapter and AN, you eluded to the fact that maybe one day Edward could possibly become Beta to Carlisle Alpha?  These are some questions to ponder should you decide to continue. And I would love it if you did?  Thanx for the story, I love it.



Author's Response:

All males can be submissive and the roles can constantly change.  Edward is three months (approximately) into this new role as a sexually active male so he's a little "young" to establish too much dominance over his brothers or Carlisle.   Emmett submitted to Jasper in the fourth oneshot (savior), without actually being mounted so as of right now, Jasper is dominant over him.  I know there are many that want to see Edward in the Beta position and that could be likely down the road, but I think Edward is less interested in challenging Jasper right now and more just trying to deal with Bella.    Edward was the aggressor and attacked Emmett, not in an effort to establish dominance but just as an aggressive male so Edward was "punished" by Carlisle for it.  

Okay it sounds like I"m starting to actually believe this mad world I invented.  LOL

Reviewer: saroya (Signed) · Date: January 28, 2011 11:16 AM · On: Control

This is really intense, and so very original.  I have read so much fan fictions things tend to get repetitious. But your work continue to surprise me, every turn is unexpected.  Very creative, but very keen in animal behavior. Keep writing, great work.



Author's Response:

Thank you.  I think that is why I turned it into more than a one shot.  I had a more to say.  We'll see how long it lasts.  I have at least one more reasonably good idea.

Reviewer: delilah69 (Signed) · Date: January 27, 2011 06:29 PM · On: Submit

could it be one of the females who dominates? and i had a laugh about emmet makes jokes about edward and bellas amount of positions! what if bella was feeling adventuous and not only did all positions and places they could think of but what about them making a kama sutra of their own? and what if emmet got a hold of it! and it put rose and emmet to shame! that would be epic!



Author's Response:

Unfortunately I've said in previous chapters  that this dominant/submissive behavior does not carry over to the females...it's a guy thing, so I really can't go in that direction.  

And okay now you are talking porn....lol....this is suppose to be serious.  Very scientific. ;o)   Actually what you are describing I think has been done..have you read The List by Laura Cullen.  Hot!

Thanks for your comments. 

Reviewer: delilah69 (Signed) · Date: January 27, 2011 02:13 PM · On: Control

im not sure if emmet will ever give on being an obnoxious little boy!! and i feel like if the others weren't there edward would be dead! who will come out dominate? edward or emmet? brain over braun...



Author's Response:

Thanks for your comments.  Yes that is the question.  I have to feel it...and i'm still struggling with it.  I might go in another direction the next chapter.  A shocking direction.

Reviewer: KeyeCullen (Signed) · Date: January 27, 2011 08:03 AM · On: Control

This is one of the most interesting stories that I have read. It is so different. Poor Edward, he really needs to get a handle on things. It seems as though he is thinking too much and just needs to go with the flow more. I'm thinking Bella will be able to help him with that somewhat.

I thought this chapter fit well with the story. You had a point to make and you were able to do so here. Porn? Really? What is wrong with porn? *snicker* No, seriously, again, it went with the story. The point is clarified and if we all enjoyed it? Well, is that so bad? *grin*

Can't wait to see what happens next!

Keye

Author's Response:

Thanks so much.  Edward does think too much.  He also tends to be a little bit of a drama queen.  But that is why I didn't make him Beta.  He has too much on his mind with Bella right now.  Him and Emmett...I just haven't decided yet. Maybe that's why I haven't written it.  I'm afraid of being crucified. ;o)

Reviewer: Cethmisdtmyk (Signed) · Date: January 26, 2011 02:11 PM · On: Control

I still think you should write one with jasper and peter, but that's just me... :-D



Author's Response:

I remember. ;o)  Maybe I can work him in as part of a subplot.

Thanks for reading.

Reviewer: darkchyld1980 (Signed) · Date: January 26, 2011 08:19 AM · On: Control

I still think you should continue. I said it before, but this is still one of the mostr interesting stories out there. It didn't read like porn to me, just another chapter in the story. I like how you imput the animalistic tendencies into the story, because I would think that vampires would be a completely different species than ourselves and would view sexuality different than we do. keep going!



Author's Response:

This would probably make more sense with the wolves because they truly are pack animals, but I'm not interested in them. I tried to mirror a pride of lions as it relates to the Cullen's.  Thanks for your comments.

Reviewer: Arabella_ (Signed) · Date: January 26, 2011 06:21 AM · On: Control

I forgot to mention...I think it was hilarious that Bella kept throwing things at Edward and wouldn't let him touch her. It was definitely a unique reaction.



Author's Response:

I had to think of a way to show some antagonism between Edward and Bella without turning Bella into a total savage.

Thanks again.

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