So I started reading this since I just had my gallbladder removed due to an inordinate amount of gallstones :D

Author's Response:

I hope you recover swiftly! I never had the gall bladder out, but I did have my appendix removed, and I know what a pain that was :(

Make sure you read on to chapter one, where Jasper has his first gallstone!

It's nice to see so much of Jasper, he often gets left out.

Nice excuse! I can totally see Emmett trashing the house.

You've obviously put a lot of thought into Peter and Charlotte.

Maybe Jasper is a little too chatty at the end, but he'd do anything for Alice and that includes keeping up the pretence. So no, I think it's fine!

Author's Response:

I like Peter and Charlotte: they will get a larger role in the sequel. They will even get demonic spawn of their own!

I don't have a problem with accidently leaving Jasper out: it is Bella and Rosalie I keep forgetting to work in there more!

Thanks for the review!

I really enjoyed this chapter with all of the dialogue between the Cullens. Now, are the two adopted kids with AIDS only for hosting the eggs? And I know that when the egg hatches, the human will die, but could a vampire then bite that human and save them, causing them to become a vampire? And I know that once a person is changed into a vampire, all physical functions stop...so will the vampire children, after they are hatched, be able to physically grow or will they always remain that size?

As for the nicknames, how about amour, cherish, enchant, treasure, empathy, inspiration... I know they are not all emotions, per say, but I figured I'd throw them out there.

Author's Response:

Those are some really good nickname suggestion! When I get around to revising the chapter with their nicknames, I'll make sure to use some of those suggestions!

Well, the 2 adopted kids were acquired primarily for hosting the eggs, but they will have full lives as well. And, Esme and Rosalie will be playing mom with them.

A vampire bite could save the host humans, but only if a C-section were preformed before the hatching process started. The hatching process starts when the parasite drinks the host dry. But, that would be considered unethical by Allison (the next generation has a slightly different set of ethics than the parental generation), who is the only one aware of this caveote, so she will never tell.

The vampiric children will grow, but very slowly. After 2000 years they will reach full adulthood. Otherwise, they would never be able to produce children of their own, and we can't have that, can we?

It is really awesome that the Cullens are helping the humans to live longer!

Author's Response:

Yes, the whole going to high school thing should soon be a thing of the past!

Thanks for the review!

Do you have an outtake showing what happened when Emmett had the empotency problem?

Author's Response:

Nope, I don't have an outtake of that. But, if I get 5 request for it I might write it!

Again, a totally insane story, but I still like it a lot! Really!

Edward going to vet school for the wolves - brilliant!

Glad you've found a use for plastic surgery.

OMG, complicated much. I am going to have to really concentrate just to remember who is in this story, never mind what they are!

Of course it would be Emmett who has dented the court!

Yeah, sleep is inconvenient isn't it? Gets in the way of good fanfic!

Pmsl, Edward using birth control! Now just how does that work?

Okay, you've truly got me hooked. Hope I can keep up with any complicated stuff.

Author's Response:

Thanks for the review!

Edward will share how to use birth control when Emmett fails at using it properly :) Basically wash a lot and use an oral dam.

If you forget all of the new characters, there is a list at the end of the summary for this story over at fanfiction (humans not counted). When I finish this story, I will include the list at the end. And I do like a complicated plot, so if you get confused, feel free to ask!

Ha ha, this fic is so different. What a great idea! All the Cullens' reactions are just what you'd expect, and pretty funny. Well. in Emmett's case anyway. Emmett's always such a good sport.

I'm really enjoying this, going to read some more - now!

Oksy, you've got my attention!

This is fabulous. I can see why you labeled it a crack-fic, but I think it's a great story line. I am cracking up over the idea of the Cullens hacking up vampire eggs, but I really think you could take this somewhere.

Now, who would want to be a surrogate for this? I think this might be a hard sell, even if it extended someone's life. Just the idea of this thing chewing its way out would be a deal breaker for me, anyway. How about someone dying from a blood disease, such as HIV or Hepatitis? How would that affect the vampire fetus since it has to live on blood?

Author's Response:

I definitely think my story could happen in Stephanie Meyer's world, but the definition of crackfic, is vampires in space, and they do get to space in the sequel...

I think I might volunteer if I was already old/dying. The human dies before the chewing begins, so I don't think that would bother me. Probably the weight of caring around a ginormous egg would bother me more. And a disease would not affect the vampiric fetus at all, because of the healing complex the parasite releases into the host blood stream :)

This story looks so promising! I'm so glad you brought my attention to it and I can't wait to read more. I love how you played off of Bella's narrative in Twilight and, intead, made it Jasper's thoughts. I'm interested to see what these "parasites" are and how your vampires will lay eggs, as noted in your author's notes. Your writing style is very easy to read, it just flows, and your use of words tells me that you must not be a first-time writer. I'm anxious to see what happens next!

Author's Response:

Thanks! But, actually, this is my first work of fiction: as a biologist I only write non-fiction for a living. Does that count?

You definitely got Jasper right! His awkwarness talking to the human was just so funny!! :D

I loved how he always thinks of how would Alice react if he did this or that! =)

Author's Response:

Yes, I def. think Alice's reaction is Jasper's #1 concern when decided what to do at all times!