I'm still not fucking happy >>>>.........................<<<<<?????!!!!! 

Author's Response:

Hi oopsadaysey,

Hmm, it wasn't really meant to be a happy chapter, but thanks for reading anyway!

-SwimmingBee x

Bee, thank you for this beautifully written chapter. Before this chapter, I couldn't understand how you were going to write this story in such a way where we were rooting for Gemma and Rob to get back together. I feel strongly that infidelity is unforgivable, and I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to agree with Gemma taking him back. But the way you wrote this chapter, full of raw and real emotion and remorse, and true love...I get it and I forgive Rob too. I would have done exactly what Gemma did too. Thank you for this story and for updating on a regular basis. I can't wait for more!

Author's Response:

Hey Jenny,

Aw, I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter and that you understand why Rob did what he did. I liked what you wrote about the chapter being full of raw, real emotions and remorse, because that's exactly how I felt as I wrote it. Definitely a tough chapter, but so important for the both of them.

Gemma hasn't quite forgiven Rob yet, but they're helping each other heal. They're there to comfort each other and at the moment, that's exactly what they need. Thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to review. More coming soon! :)

-SwimmingBee x

awww seeee not even tears and anger can ignore the power of the sparkle peen.

 

bless.

i actually find myself forgiving him.

poor thing.

Author's Response:

Bwah, ha! Ahhh, Rainer. You never fail to make me giggle! I love your reviews. Sparkle peen indeed!

Aw, you've forgiven him. He definitely regrets what he did, so we'll see how they go now.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. You're awesome. :)

-SwimmingBee x

I guess Gemma kows what she's doing.  Connection or not I don't think I colud have hopped back in the sack with him just yet.  It will be interesting to see how they get through this.

Author's Response:

Hi maizeandblueinvalpo,

Yep, Gemma knows what she's doing, it's okay. There is a strong connection between them, but they also needed to comfort each other too. Not all is forgiven yet, so I'm glad you'll stick around and see how they go. Thanks so much for reading!

-SwimmingBee x

Sorry for the epic ramble, Bee.  This story just gets to me.

For me this chapter was more about the subtleties, the nuances, and the words left unspoken. Sarah’s unspoken fear at the prospect of Gemma, putting herself back into Roberts’s path.  It was easy to see how difficult it was for her to watch Gemma prepare to leave without imploring her to stay home.  I don't think you understand just how deeply I've fallen in love with this story, Bee.  There has never been a story that touches me the way that Days does.  Not Hamlet, Twilight, nothing.  Your words are magic.  They transport me into the story as if it were a living breathing entity instead of fiction.  My reaction to Days, makes me feel exposed and at times self conscious. This story holds me completely, it strips me down to the very ground… in a similar fashion to Dance.   I know without a doubt that I am not the same intractable girl that began this story.

The thing that touched me the most in this chapter was the short segment between Gemma and Sarah prior to their departure for their selective dates.  Sarah reminded me of an anxious mother, valiantly fighting against the urge to prevent her child from getting back on the bicycle after having witnessed said child fall of and hurt herself.  Sarah refrained from being judgmental and was supportive instead.  Silently watching Gemma prepare herself to reenter Robert's life couldn't have been an easy thing for her to do...especially not after the way he hurt her, not only once but twice.   I sense that Robert is going to have a very hard time regaining Sarah's trust.  As I've mentioned before, he didn't only betray Gemma with his actions.  He betrayed every single person that trusted him with her happiness.  I keep remembering the time when Robert, Ally, Sarah and Gemma sat around the living room talking after the bar incident.  During that conversation, Robert promised Sarah that he wouldn't ever hurt Gemma again and she believed him. How will he ever make amends for breaking that promise once again?  I don't think he can.  Sarah isn't like Gemma, who is head over heels in love with him and whose actions are dictated by her heart.  Sarah’s heart isn't going to be fighting to make its way back home to Robert, the way that Gemma’s will be.  I must admit to being pleasantly surprised when Sarah elected against attending the farewell party, even after having been the one to successfully convince Gemma to go.  I read and understood her reason for doing so, but I really think there is more to it than that.  Sarah isn't ready to put out the welcome back mat for Robert as of yet, and going to that party wouldn't have felt right.  I think it might have also been Sarah’s way of acknowledging the changes to come.  Both of their lives are changing...the days of them living with one another, and sharing the same life are numbered.  I wouldn't at all be surprised to learn that she was moving in with Daniel or that he had proposed.

Gemma's lessened anxiety as the evening progressed was also very surprising to me.  I know that she was amongst friends, but still...I wasn't expecting the ease she felt in Robert's company.  I didn't like the fact that she was the one to approach him.  He should’ve been the one to walk up to her first.  I know, I know....he was giving her space and allowing her to control the moment and time they spoke to one another.  Essentially, allowing her to make the decision to speak to him or not.   That logic is a bit thin though, when you consider the fact that they were having a rather small dinner party.  It isn’t even remotely possible, for Gemma to have made it through the entire dinner, without even once interacting with Robert.  One could also argue that he was leaving the timing of their first conversation encounter after the incident up to her in order to avoid overwhelming her.

I'm still very much torn over the question of Gemma and Robert getting back together again.  Infidelity has always been something absolutely unforgivable to me.  I've said as much in my previous reviews where I mentioned Robert having earned a free pass for everything with the only exceptions being infidelity and abuse.  I've spent 38 chapters getting to know Robert and Gemma.  The story may not be from Rob's perspective, but your brilliance as an author has made that inconsequential.  I feel as if I know and understand him about as much as a person possibly can.  He is a very complex individual...the perfect dichotomy of angel and devil.  The perfect blend of good and bad.   I know he isn't evil, Bee.  I know his love for Gemma has become intrinsic, a core component of his DNA almost.  I get that, I really do. However, I also know his love for her wasn't strong enough to counteract the baser parts of his psyche and that is what I'm struggling with the most.  I've often read that love is supposed to be the strongest force there is.  Love is supposed to protect you from harm; it’s supposed to make a person unable to wound the object of their affection, is it not?  See, that is my view of love, but remember if you will that I've never been in love.  My views are based entirely upon what I've witnessed between my parents, grandparents, and read in various storybooks.  It is that view of love which makes it impossible for me to truly understand Robert's actions and a character like Edward Cullen in New Moon.  As of right now, I'm wholeheartedly convinced that Robert spent a day immersed in the insanity that is his life, and made a unilateral decision to "save" Gemma from experiencing the same faith.  I know screwing that girl was only a means to an end, a cold blooded way to bring about a clean break.  This is the hard part though, knowing this doesn't make it hurt any less.  It’s actually the opposite.  It wouldn't hurt half as much if he had only been an uncaring lothario, absence of any real love for Gemma.  It’s really sick when you think about it.  His very passionate love for her is what led him to destroying her the way that he did.  Robert was already an incredibly passionate person who feels things very deeply...couple that in with his love and adoration for Gemma and you have the ingredients for the perfect storm, a complete tsunami.  Poor Gemma never really stood a chance.  That kind of love almost seems to be toxic.  Additionally, let us not forget Robert's selfish nature, and his absolute belief that he wasn't good enough for her.  I think that he walked a very fine line each and every day that they were together.  He loved and adored her but never really understood how she could possibly feel the same way about him.  Robert, in all of his fucked up glory probably convinced himself that Gemma would leave him once faced with the realities of his world.  To him certain heartbreak was imminent, so what does he do? He strikes first in an attempt to protect his heart from absolute annihilation.  Again, I have to ask; shouldn't love be stronger than self preservation? Or is that only a myth?

I believe in the impossibility of that which is perfection and strive for it each and every day.  Growing up, my mother would gently remind me that the idea of perfection is a mirage, something ephemeral and unobtainable. But I ask you, what is the sense to anything if one can't strive for perfection? What's the sense in Dance if I can't be perfect? There is none.  There is no point in ever dancing again if I can't be perfect.  Perfection has always been a recurring theme throughout my life, a theme that I can credit to my father.  My father is a great man.  My mother likes to say that he isn't perfect, but to me he is.  Do you know that from the age of 10 to 17, my father would take me and my sister out on what he likes to call father daughter date night.  He did this every other Friday till I graduated from high school last year and still does it with my younger sisters.  These outings were designed to show us the proper way in which a gentleman is suppose to treat a lady.  He taught me to accept nothing less.  From my father, I learned that a man is supposed to honor, cherish, and protect the woman that he loves.  She and their family becomes his entire world, the most important things to him.  This is why my first inclination was immediate hatred and scorn for Aaron.  He failed Gemma in the worst of ways.  She was his to honor, love and protect and he tore her down instead.  I can't ever forget and forgive that.  I will never see good in Aaron.  I can only focus on the negative when it comes to him.  Gemma says, she forgot how good looking he was and I only focus on her saying that he wasn't as tall as Robert, LOL.  In a lot of ways, Aaron is easy.  He doesn't challenge my views or make me second guess myself the way that Robert does.  I'm stuck somewhere in the middle of love and hate for Robert and I have absolutely no idea what to do with that.  I hate him for destroying the perfection that was Robert and Gemma. The innocence of their love is forever tarnished.  I don't mean to sound dramatic about it all, but that's just the way I feel. It’s like standing in front of a mirror and throwing a big, sharp object at the glass. You still see yourself but the image is no longer clear and perfect.  It’s all disjointed and jagged.  Robert has turned my fairy tale image of their relationship into the sharp and jagged imaging’s of one looking at their reflection through broken glass.   Yet still, he continues to touch my heart.  He makes me want to put credence to my mother’s claims that the ideal perfect man doesn't exist, and that the best any of us can hope for, is to find the one that is perfect for us individually.

 I don't know how to reconcile Robert’s actions against the love I know he feels for Gemma.  Bla, this review has taken me on a huge emotional rollercoaster.  I feel as if I've been through a gamut of feelings and emotions.  I hate confusion and indecisiveness!  Anyway, this is now me trying to get back on track with this review.  Should Gemma forgive him? I don't know.  Should she have agreed to speak to him privately?  Yes, she is long overdue an explanation of why it was so easy for him to cast her away, so easy for him to make her come undone.  I completely agree with her choice of venue.  Her apartment will afford them the necessary privacy needed for the type of discussion they will be engaging in.  It's also Gemma's safe place, and Lord knows she is in dire need of comfort and normalcy. Besides, I don’t think it’d be easy for her to return to Robert’s apartment.   In essence, returning to scene of her heartbreak…I might be incorrect here, but I would find that extremely difficult to do.  Gemma may not be aware of it yet, but I believe she is well on her way towards reconciliation.  She's fighting it as evident by her defiant hair comment (which I absolutely loved by the way) and her constant reminder of how he broke her heart, but at the end of day she will reconcile with Robert.  It might not happen after their talk, but it will eventually.  The interesting thing here is that I can’t trust my own opinion on the matter.  I vacillate too much from one extreme to the next, so I’m just going to trust you to do right by them.  The dinner scene left me feeling breathless and on edge.  I found myself actually biting my finger nails (EWW) throughout the entire dinner.  I breathe a huge sigh of relief when it was over.  The sexual tension between Robert and Gemma was incredibly thick and overwhelming.  I felt engulfed by it.  The palpable tension in the room made it almost difficult to breathe and I was only reading about it!  Robert and Gemma’s intense yearning for one another was out of this world.  I wasn’t very moved by his apology.  The act of wiping away the tear that fell down her cheeks said a lot more than any words he may have spoken.  That one little gesture really touched me and left my mind in chaos.  I initially liked the  relax and breathe text message that Robert sent to Gemma.  It reminded me of just how in sync they are with one another, and how much he really does seem to understand her.  However, upon further reflection, something felt off about the message.  It wasn’t till a bit later that I realized what it was.  I wouldn’t have been bothered by it, had he left it at Relax, breathe. We'll be okay.  Adding the Now quick, write back and tell me the same thing, is what bothers me.  He put himself in the same boat as Gemma by adding that last sentence and that just isn’t the case.  Gemma is the only victim in all of this.  Robert is the perpetrator of the crime…he doesn’t get to commiserate with her.

With the exception of Thomas and Ally, the other dinner occupants didn’t particularly stand out to me.  They were all overshadowed by the emotions swirling back and forth between Gemma and Robert…you know, the soulful looks that just screamed “I wanna eat you alive.” I really thought that Tom was going to apologize for the telephone call, but then I realized it wasn’t the right place and time for him to do so.  I really loved the way Ally tried to heed of any feelings of guilt that might arise in Gemma as a result of anything more happening between her and Robert.  I’m thinking she may have given Sarah a heads up and might have urged her to spend the night at Daniel’s apartment or house.  The second thing to stand out to me after the Sarah and Gemma scene/discussion was this line: Ally would be there of course. We were going together, with Marcus as well. I'm so glad I wouldn't have to walk into the restaurant by myself.  How awesome was that line!  I loved it because it could have been said by any girl around the world.  I don’t know how many times I have lamented having to walk into a classroom or rehearsal by myself!  I hate it!  I always find myself putting up my façade prior to stepping into the room.  LOL, maybe it’s just a girl thing.  Now that I think about it, another thing that bothered me was Robert’s overt sexual overtures in one of the text messages to Gemma.  It made me feel weird.  He hasn’t explained his reasoning behind having sex with another woman…she hasn’t forgiven him and yet he is making sexual overtures.  Does he expect them to pick up right where they left off, as if he never cheated on her and broke her heart.  I know they were both sending the suggestive text messages….but HE started it! :)

Favorite Lines

But still, this wasn't up to me. He had broken my heart. He had cheated on me. He had pushed me away. I hadn't forgotten that.

"Yep, perfect. You look very Gemma. Fun, breezy, gorgeous."
"Be happy, okay? Whatever happens tonight. Be brave and be happy."
"Remember, if something else does happen tonight, he loves you. And that's never a bad thing, Gemma."

"I told you," she said. "It's your thing. You need to do this without me there, Gemma. Whatever happens, I'll support you, but I'm not going to stand in your way and watch. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

 "Of course it is. Because you don't actually have to say anything of importance. But the two of you were never about taking the easy road, Gemma. You were intense from day one and you love talking to each other. Why don't you just give him a call and see how it goes?"

"You don't have to go, you know," she said with a small smile on her face. "You can come to the movies with Dan and me instead."

He stood up too, but stayed close to me. The difference in our heights was clearly evident, since I wasn't wearing heels, but somehow it felt right.

It was as though he had built this night up in his mind to be the one night he was going to fix everything between us.
There was no way that was going to happen.

He leaned out to touch my cheek and I felt tears in my eyes. My head was spinning, hearing him say those words to me. I closed my eyes for a moment, letting a tear fall down my cheek and he brushed it away with his thumb. His hand felt so warm against my cheek and it took all my strength not to lean into his hand further.
 I put on some silver bangles and tied my hair in a high ponytail. As I was doing it, I considered that perhaps I was putting it in a ponytail because Rob liked it best loose and wavy. I wasn't ready to give him everything just yet. It was my own little private way of reminding myself of that.
Till next time, Kari

P.S. I’m happy that Thomas didn’t get a chance to see the spotty shoes because he is still on my shit list for that awful telephone call.

Questions I would like Robert to answer

1)    When was the exact moment he decided to implement his dastardly plan

2)    Why did he do it

3)    Why was it so easy for him to be intimate with another woman when his heart supposedly belongs to Gemma

4)    Was this an isolated incident or is this a set pattern of behavior

5)    Does he realize how much he has hurt Gemma and everybody who trusted her with him

6)    What did he feel immediately after having sex with that other woman?  Did he feel guilty? Remorseful?  Did he go back for seconds?

7)    Did he think about Gemma at all during the act?

8)    How did he select the girl that he slept with?  Did she have a certain trait that drew him to her?

9)    Has he been unfaithful to another woman in the past

10)    Did he use protection

11)     When did he realize his actions were a mistake?

12)       Why was he so cold and withdrawn when he told her about it

13)   What did he do with the groceries Gemma brought to his apartment that faithful day

14)  Was it worth it in the end

15)  His intent was to push her away.  He has succeeded, so why isn’t he letting her go

16)    Besides the Britpack and Gemma’s friends, has he spoken to anyone else about cheating on Gemma? Example being Kristen

17)   Does he understand how much it would take for Gemma to reinvest in a relationship with him again

18)    Does he realize that their relationship is forever altered

19)   Is he trustworthy

20)   What assurances can he make that this will never happen again

Author's Response:

Wowwww, Kari!

What a seriously amazing review. Whew! I honestly don't know where to start. You've shared so many amazing thoughts, and I don't know if my reply is going to do them justice, gah! But I'll try.

First let me say... thank you! I love that you care so much for these characters (should I include Rob in there too? Maybe...) and their journey. You truly seem to "get" them and it's so flattering to know my little story can make such an impact on someone. I started off writing it to distract myself from writing student reports, and it's just so flattering to hear that it's changed you as a person. Wow. Just... wow. I guess I don't really understand or comprehend how much you love it, because to hear you compare it to Hamlet just makes me giggle. Seriously. It's Shakespeare. I just... nope. Can't even begin to grasp that concept! But thank you, honestly. I truly appreciate all of your kind words and the time it must take you to write your fabulous reviews.

So yes, there were a lot of words left unspoken throughout this chapter. As you pointed out, it was more about the looks, the feelings, the connections. Like the moments between Sarah and Gemma, before she left. There was definitely a worried mother-like vibe going on in with Sarah... Gemma even pointed that out when she said, "Sarah, you're not my mother." It really must have been tough for her to stand back and watch Gemma getting ready and not be judgmental like we know she can be at times. Clearly she still has her issues with Rob, but she's trying really hard to let Gemma make up her own mind. If Sarah went along to the dinner, she would have been in protective mode and that wouldn't have been fun for anyone. Ally is much more laidback and she's not really as close to Gemma as Sarah is, so she was fine. But it would have been too difficult to turn her back and let Rob and Gemma have their big talk in the corner. And it probably wouldn't have been fun for Gemma or Rob, either. They needed to be relatively comfortable and Sarah would have added another level of tension there, whether she meant to or not. Rob still invited her anyway, of course, but she probably did the right thing by not going.

That being said, I think if she truly, really didn't believe that Gemma shouldn't go, she would have told her. We know Sarah, and she's not one to hold back her thoughts. As I said before, she's taking a step back and letting Gemma decide... which is actually what her real mother was doing, too. Gemma's a smart girl, who is becoming much stronger than she used to be. She can make her own decisions, even if it means she might get hurt. Sometimes the best thing someone can do is stand back and let someone go. Which leads to your next point, about Sarah perhaps bracing herself for future changes in her and Gemma's friendship. Boyfriends, proposals, new houses... You never really know what might be around the corner! It's life, that's what happens, but we know they'll always be there for each other. :) 

I don't think Gemma was expecting the ease she felt in Rob's company, either. She expected to feel hurt or angry or sad... and there was a little bit of those things mixed in of course, but she also realized that he's still just Rob. He's always comforted her, just as she has always relaxed him. Even though a lot has changed between them, maybe that hasn't.

As for her making the first move over to him? Hmm. Really, he made the first move by inviting her to dinner. He did it in a casual way, but knowing him as we do, we know it wouldn't have really been casual. He would have agonized over sending her that text and then would have been freaking out the whole time, waiting for her reply which never came. So yes, she physically made the first move over to him in the restaurant, but he put himself out there in the first place - deservedly so. As you said, he was giving her the space she needed and a chance to breathe, but I also think maybe he was a bit immobilized, standing there and not being able to take his eyes off her. He was stuck talking to the other guy but clearly wasn't listening to anything he was saying... So maybe he just couldn't do it! That's my thoughts, anyway. :) 

I adored your thoughts on love and I honestly don't know what to say to make you feel better about it all. I know you've always said abuse and infidelity were unforgivable, and I completely respect that. That's why I've always been worried about you, as you continued to read. You seem so sweet and lovely, and I don't want to spoil your view of perfection of the world, and of love. That's a horrible thing for me to do! I think I've already told you, but I came so close to sending you an email once, to warn you of what was coming up. But then, I couldn't do it. It's a bit similar to the Sarah scenario - I had to force myself to take a step back and let you discover things for yourself. I really hope that this story doesn't change your view on life too much though, because it really is just that. It's just a story. I know as the writer, I shouldn't be saying that - I should be encouraging you to love Gemma and Rob as much as possible, but my heart breaks for you a little bit when you talk about changing your view on relationships and love, just because of this story. Eeek!

That all being said, there have been many real-life relationships that have survived infedility. Some of my close friends, for example. There are also many relationships that don't survive it. (Abuse, however, is a whole other thing and I completely agree with you on that one.) So maybe perfection is what you make of it, really. If Gemma went by her definition of her perfect guy, she'd be with Daniel. They'd probably be quite happy and content, but there wouldn't be any fireworks. She'd be safe and comfortable, but that's about it. So would it be perfect after all? Hmm. It makes me think about what your mother used to say, about perfection being a mirage. But that's just Gemma. Everybody is different, and if you want a perfect gentleman who's going to treat you like you deserve to be treated, then that's who you need to find! I'm not condoning infedility or abandoning one's dreams here... it's just a little story about following your heart and taking a chance on what feels right.

And your Dad sounds lovely, by the way! Your thoughts on striving for perfection when you're dancing (and even throwing something at a glass mirror) made me think of Black Swan, but that's a whole other thing. Whew, that movie freaked me out. In a good way though. It left me shaking with nervous giggles. Intense. Have you seen it? Maybe that's a conversation for another time!

Whew. Back to Rob... Yes, he loves her and completely adores her. It's difficult to know how much to say here, because the next chapter actually answers a lot of the things you're wondering about. It's up now, so I don't want to spoil things for you. You pretty much hit the nail on the head with a lot of things though. Gemma had worked out that he was trying to push her away, and yes, he was trying to save her. It reminds me of this quote that you said - "Love is supposed to make a person unable to wound the object of their affection, is it not?" I think in an awful, roundabout way, that's what he was trying to do. He was trying desperately hard not to let her get hurt. Trying to save her, as you said. But in order to do that, he had to hurt her himself. So yes, his love for her was stronger than self-preservation. He was trying to preserve her, not himself. Gah, I'll stop there and just let him explain it in the next chapter!

So hmm, should Gemma forgive him? That's the big question, I guess. She's not ready to forgive him yet though. They still have a lot to sort through and there's a lot that she needs to understand and contemplate. And as you said, she's still fighting her feelings for him. She kind of invited him back to her apartment without really thinking about it, but sometimes I think that's when Gemma makes the best decisions - quickly and without too much worry! They definitely needed to go somewhere private for their big talk, and they're both comfortable at her place. As you pointed out, she's not ready to go back to his apartment yet.

Eek, the dinner scene made you bite your nails! Sorry! Yep, there was a looot of sexual tension going on in that little room. I like the way you described it - their "intense yearning". There's definitely still a strong connection between them, even if she doesn't want it to be there. But aw, you didn't like Rob's "Relax, breathe," text message? The end part, anyway. I think he was trying to let her know that he was feeling nervous too, that's all. Maybe he doesn't have a right to feel nervous, but they'd been texting for a while, so clearly he wanted to share that with her and she seemed to like it. They need to be honest with each other, right!? The same thing goes for the sexual overtones in their texts. She didn't mind at all... in fact, she kind of flirted right back. They were really just testing the waters, I think. Being flirty without actually doing any flirting. And they were sleepy and their defenses weren't really up yet. I don't think he's expecting to pick up where they left off, but it was kinda nice to see them have a bit of fun together, for once.

And oh, I think it's totally a girl thing, not wanting to walk into a room or a party by yourself! Especially something like that, when she knew Rob was going to be there, watching her. Definitely a time for friends to surround you!

Lots of girl power in your favorite lines - Gemma was being so strong. As for all the questions you want Rob to answer? Hmm. I think he answers nearly most of them in the next chapter. Maybe not in a huge amount of detail, but most of the answers will be in there somewhere. Except maybe number 13 - the one about the groceries that Gemma brought to his apartment. Hehee! I don't know if we'll ever find the answer to that one. So yep, there are lots of answers ahead in the next chapter, but there'll be more to come later down the line, too. As Gemma pointed out, not everything is going to be fixed in just one night.

Kari, thank you so much for your incredible review and for continuing to stick with Rob and Gemma, despite everything. I hope I've managed to make some sense - I feel like I've just rambled completely nonsensically! Thank you!!

-SwimmingBee x

No, I didn't guess what her rock bottom would be, until the e-mail popped up for her.  Meeting Aaron was like going back in time and trying to wipe out what had happened with Rob, not a good idea and thank goodness Gem realised that it was Rob that she was really missing despite what he's done to her. You just can't turn that love switch off, as much as we'd sometimes like to try.

I'm glad now she's recognised her feelings more that she's taking those babysteps and texting Rob, but Rob needs to remember that Rome wasn't built in a day and he needs to give Gem time and space and be honest with her, no more hiding behind cryptic little comments.

Nearly caught up now.

Jane x

Author's Response:

Hi Jane,

I love your thoughts about Gemma meeting Aaron - that it was her way of going back in time to wipe out what had happened with Rob. It's so true, and in a way it worked well, because she realised she can't just wipe away everything that happened. She also finally got her Aaron closure after all that time, and yes, that it was still Rob she loved and was missing. She still loves him, despite everything. 

I think both Rob and Gemma realise they're not going to be able to fix things overnight, but at least for now, there's babysteps. They definitely need to start talking honestly with each other, as you said.

Thanks so much for continuing to read and review!

-SwimmingBee x

 

Oh my. This story is just so beutiful. I hope to hear more soon!

Author's Response:

Aww, thanks so much allycat!

Great to hear you're enjoying the story. More coming soon!

-SwimmingBee x

I'm back, I've so much to catch up on.

I'm so glad that Gem went home to her mum and dad, family can give so much support and comfort at times like this.

I expected Rob to get in touch earlier than this, or was he waiting for Gem to call him??  Has anyone thought to ask for the spare key back, he can't expect to just turn up whenever he feels like it, that will just prolong Gem's torture.  Although Gem is adamant that this is over, Rob obviously is hoping otherwise, I hope they can make it back, I am a sucker for that happy ending.

I hope Gem feels stronger when she gets back to LA and that she is able to get some answers to all those questions she has.

Jane x

Author's Response:

Hi Jane,

Yay, welcome back! It's great to see you here again! I thought the angstiness must have turned you away forever! :)

So yes, going home to her parents was exactly what Gemma needed at this point. She needed time away from LA - to stop and let it all sink in. Poor girl.

Gah, Rob is clearly struggling too. It took him a week to call - and we'll find out why later on in the chapters. Your spare key question will be answered too, I promise! Hmm, I always promised that happy ending, although they've still got a long way to go to get there.

Thanks so much for continuing to read and review, Jane!

-SwimmingBee x

Wow, they spoke at the party. I'm glad Rob gave her space and didn't hound her immediately.

I'm pretty nervous for any sort of talk happening. I fear that Rob may not be able to validate his feelings enough for Gemma to know he won't ever go off the deep end again. Actually, I fear that Rob doesn't know that himself. If he did it once, he can do it again. Anyway, I guess we'll just have to see how willing Gemma is to taking him back first.

-Dani

Author's Response:

Hi Dani,

Yep, they spoke at the party. I think it's perfectly normal to feel nervous about their big talk... Gemma definitely is too! They still have a lot to discuss and sort through, but they both know things aren't going to be fixed in just one night. She's not willing to take him back at all yet, but she is willing to let him speak. That's about all, really. We'll see how they go in the next chapter.

Thanks so much for continuing to read and review. More coming soon!

-SwimmingBee x

First off, I shamefully admit to being one of your notoriously greedy readers. You know the type... I check each day to see if you've updated (it sooooo makes my day!) and then for some reason don't always review - Sorry! I've even found myself reading recent chapters slowly so that I can make them last longer. Dorky, I know! But with all the recent angst I had to review to let you know once again that YOU ROCK GIRLFRIEND!!!!!

Again, another great chapter. I can't wait to see Rob's reasoning behind his actions. As always you somehow make each and every chapter relatable and emotional for us viewers... as if we're all active participants in this story. Don't know how you do it but keep it up! :)

Author's Response:

Hey trixie,

Aww, I'm so glad you decided to pop back in again and leave a review! Thank you! It's completely understandable that you don't review each chapter, don't worry! That being said, you know how much I love it when people do review. It really means a lot to hear people's thoughts and opinions, and to know how the story is traveling. So thank you! I'm so glad you're still enjoying it, despite the recent angst. :)

So yep, we'll finally hear an explanation from Rob in the next chapter. It's a big chapter, eek!

Thanks so much for continuing to read and review. More coming soon!

-SwimmingBee x

I think he did it because he doesn't think he deserves her and doesn't think she will be able to survive his messed up life. So...where were the spotty shoes? She should have worn them to the party. Let's go talk.

Author's Response:

Hi Kathy,

Ooh, I like your prediction for his explanation. Thinking he doesn't deserve her has always been a big issue for him, and as Tom said, he does tend to push people away... So we'll see how they go next chapter.

Aw, no spotty shoes in this chapter, sorry! She's not ready to wear them again yet. But you never know what might happen in the future! ;)

Thanks so much, as always, for reading and reviewing.

-SwimmingBee x

Hey Bee-

So, they finally got to see each other face to face, and it wasn't traumatic for Gemma.  Good.  I'm still on the fence as to how I feel about Rob....still pretty ticked off at him, ya know?  I had always deemed cheating to be unforgivable in a relationship, so that may be why I am one of those readers that is still PO'd.  Anyway, I am looking forward to those answers that you are promising us! :)  We already know what Tom thinks, but I want to know what Rob has to say.  As always, well done.  Looking forward to the next!

Author's Response:

Hi sekoehler,

Yep, they've finally caught up again and you're right, it wasn't too traumatic. Still quite a few nerves and anxieties flying around, but she survived. Whew! I think it's perfectly normal that you're still a bit ticked off with Rob. Gemma is too! She's not about to forgive and forget everything that happened, don't worry. They still have a lot to work through, but after everything, she still loves him and she's willing to hear what he has to say. So we'll see how they go in the next chapter.

Thanks so much!

-SwimmingBee x