Great chapter as always, it was everything that I expected. But! Ja! I'm afraid that lovely Gemma made a mistake. Don't you Think? Is going to be more dificult to start to fix their relationship now because they had sex. And I think Rob is not going to take it very well when she remind him that they are not together yet.
Let see in the next chapter was going to happen, I'm very intrigued!
Greetings
Astrid

Author's Response:

Hi Astrid,

Glad you enjoyed the chapter, thanks! Hmm, did Gemma make a mistake by sleeping with Rob again? They certainly didn't seem too upset about it, anyway. It doesn't mean everything is fine between them again, and they both knew that. She hasn't forgiven him and they still have a lot to work through, but for their sex was more about comforting each other than anything else. Whatever the case, they will sort things out together. :)

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

-SwimmingBee x

great chapter Bee! I'm surprised they fell into bed so quick....and then I'm not. His reasons are just what I expected. I mean what will happen when he's gone for 6 months filming BD? I just love the way reality and fiction is woven together!

Author's Response:

Hey roxie,

So glad you enjoyed the chapter! Big thanks, as always, for reading and reviewing. :)

I think Gemma and Rob were surprised they fell into bed so quickly too! Neither of them really expected it to happen, but they were both clearly happy to go with it. It doesn't mean things are fine between them again though... Really, they both just needed to comfort each other, at least for the night.

Thanks again!

-SwimmingBee x

I didn't think you'd go that route...but happy you did.  I am still angry with him.  don't know if I could have forgiven it.  great chapter!

Author's Response:

Hi mom23xx,

You know what? I don't think Gemma knew that was going to happen either! Rob definitely didn't. But it happened, and they're helping each other heal, slowly. Gemma certainly hasn't forgiven him yet, and he knows that. The sex was really more about comforting each other than anything else. We'll see how they deal with that in the next chapter.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

-SwimmingBee x

Ahhh, I have missed sleepy sex and I'm sure Gemma did too. I just really don't even know how I feel about this. I think that it's way too soon for them to be having sex, but then again I feel like they both really needed it. It could be closer in a way... I think. But what's done is done, and it seems like it was well done (if you know what I mean). 

Their talk, like I expected, was full of tears from both ends and a lot of 'Sorry's' on Rob's. Maybe too may sorry's. After someone says it so much it tends to lose its meaning. But I think Rob needed to hear himself say it to her over and over again, and maybe Gemma needed to hear it too. 

I'm not sure how much longer I can wait until they get back together. I love Rob and Gemma. I hate it when they're both sad and depressing. And I hate how awkward their cab ride was. I like hot and nasty cab rides! Please bring them back soon. 

As always, this was an extremely well written chapter, and I am waiting (not so patiently) for the next.

Author's Response:

Hi frickandfrack09,

There's nothing quite like sleepy Rob sex, is there? I think you're right... they both really needed it. Whether or not it was too early for that, it happened and it'll be up to the both of them to decide what happens next. Really, it was more about comforting each other. They both know they still have a long way to go and she hasn't forgiven him yet, but for the night at least, they needed each other.

I totally get what you mean about overdoing the "sorry's", but yes, both Rob and Gemma needed to hear him say it. In situations like that, what else is there to say, really? He poured his heart out to her and clearly she appreciated that, even though it was difficult to hear.

I hope you'll continue to hang in there! I miss happy Rob and Gemma too, but they need to sort this out first. Things are definitely looking up for them, it'll just take time.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! :)

-SwimmingBee x

 

OMG... this was... I... I really dunno what to say... Well I was a snniffling fool throughout by the way! LOL you were right, needed a lot of tissuess! my bloody mum was like, 'why you keep coming in and out from the loo for?' hahahhaa I would also like to say SwiimmingBee, this was absolutely FAB! I'm such a suckker for like sad, tissue box needed moments in a story hahaha this makes me sound like a depressing sod! sorry but jeeze that got me... I LOVE IT!

I was pretty moody today, it was the first day of college today and well it was half term and I was all lazy and stuff! waiting for you update! moody, moodyy me is not a pretty sight, let me you know- jeeze go all through my life story LOL-so I was like on here just for a sec and saw an update of DAY LIKE THIS!! It lifted me up, like I was bloody screaming... okay not screaming but squealling quietly with excitement hahaha sooo THANK YOU!

I bloody cant wait for the next chapter!!!!! I love how this one came up pretty quick, mate, one more thing! where the hell are the visuals? I missed that :-( looool well for these parts it would be pretty hard for getting visuals buttt whatta about Gems dress? and stuff hahhaha well that got me a little down... LOL

I'm really gonna shut up, please let me know if I'm being an anoyying git nex reply hahaha

bye, THANK YOU AGAIN! you made my bloody day, love!

xoxo :-D

Author's Response:

Hi Robstenlover4eva, 

Aww, sorry for turning you into a sniffling fool! It was definitely a tough chapter, but such an important one for both Rob and Gemma. I'm so glad you enjoyed it though! You don't sound like a depressing sod at all. Sometimes a sniffle is good for the soul! :)

Ha! It's nice to hear my updating story cheered you up, too. First days are always tricky, but squealing with excitement over a new chapter sounds like much more fun! Hooray!

As for the visuals, I know! There haven't been many lately, have there? I think I had a lot more in the beginning because I was setting the scene for the characters and the tone of the story. Visuals have been tricky lately - other than photos of a crying Gemma, there really haven't been many things I could add. I guess I was hoping the story would be enough, for now. But oh, the dress! You have no idea how long I searched Google images for Gemma's navy blue dress. I had an image in my head, but I couldn't find a photo of it anywhere. Grr! There is a couple of visuals coming up in a few chapters time though, so hopefully you can hang out until then. :)

Thanks so much for your review! The next chapter shouldn't be too far away. My beta has been ultra-speedy lately!

-SwimmingBee x

Whatthey are feeling now is passion. not love.  Loveis absolute trust.  Passion can feel good and right, but it can never last forever.  Love is knowing that life can throw lots of fucked up stuff at you and the one you love will still be there helping you cope as you help them cope.  Life just IS fucked up.  Not just Rob's life, everyone's life throws curves at them, unexpected really bad things happen.  Real love survives those things!.  Love this story.  It is very well written and beautiful.

Author's Response:

Hi Emily,

Hmm, you raised some really interesting thoughts in your review, thank you! I completely agree with what you said about life throwing curves at everybody... And I think it's how you deal with them which is the important thing. There is definitely a lot of passion between Rob and Gemma, but there is love too. The sex in the chapter was really about comforting each other, more than anything. It was sad and bittersweet, because they both know Gemma hasn't forgiven him, and that they've still got a lot to work through. As you said, love isn't always just the happy moments. Yes, the trust has to be rebuilt between them again, but they're both very aware of that. It's up to them now, to see if their love will survive.

Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts with me.

-SwimmingBee x

 

I guess taking babysteps is out the window! That was really quite sweet, with all the shaking and tears. Even though I shouldn't be, I was surprised Gemma initiated the sex and that they did the deed. I imagined him leaving, with some hope between them, after they hugged -it-out and had a good cry. I get that their connection is electric and undeniable but geez... if she is worried that she can't trust him ever again, what is she doing??? Seems like she's back in the bubble for the night, avoiding and just enjoying things. 

Does Rob think he can deal with Gemma in his life now that realizes he can't function without her or does he want to keep their relationship in the bubble?  I thought for sure Gemma would tell him about her visit with Aaron when Rob started talking about how the other girl felt and tasted all wrong. So many questions swimming in my head, which by-the-way, is fever-free now!  Thanks for the twists and turns!  Loving it...this story is the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Author's Response:

Hey jordan,

Pfft, yep! Babysteps certainly seemed to fly out the window in this chapter, didn't they? I think they flew out the window when she invited him back to her apartment in the last chapter. Gemma actually acknowledges that in the next chapter too. As for why she initiated the sex, hmm. Really, they just needed to feel the comfort of each other again, as pure and simple as that. No, she's not ready to forgive him yet, and yes, she's still worried she won't be able to trust him, but they both needed to reconnect again. They've always been a very physical couple and while they know it's not the answer to everything, it's what they both needed.

I don't think they're back in their bubble again though, and I don't think they will be in the future, either. Their happy little bubble burst long ago, and it's up to them to see how they deal with that. And hmm, the Aaron conversation! That may be coming up in the next chapter too, actually. Eeek!

I'm so glad you're feeling better now! Big thanks, as always, for reading and reviewing. More coming soon! 

-SwimmingBee x

If I had to use one word to describe this chapter it would be “bittersweet.”

For me, this was your best written chapter E-V-E-R.  Realistic, true-to-life emotions.

You give us a front-row seat into both Gemma and Rob’s hearts and souls.   A picture-perfect view of their emotional and physical reconnection to each other.   Flawless writing.  Brilliant.

I love that these two can sit and talk about their situation.  I just don’t know exactly what the outcome will be.  I guess I’m confused again.  Although I want them together as a couple in the end, I just don’t know if Gemma can ever completely forgive Rob.   Or if Rob will ever willingly allow Gemma into his chaotic life.  But I don’t know that I can see them as just friends either.  You are so messing with my mind.

Reasons for my statement about their future –

Gemma  -  “I don't know if I'll ever get over that. I don't even know if I'll ever be able to trust you, or anybody else, ever again. How could I?"  "But then you broke my heart. On purpose. I've never felt pain like that before, Rob. And I just don't know if I can ever let myself feel love like that again. It's too big of a risk with you.   This was a deliberate decision. A choice he had made”.

Rob – “I tried to imagine you in that life and I just couldn't. I didn't want to put you through that, Gem. You're so sweet, so beautiful. I didn't want you being attacked and name-called and followed. Your whole life would have to change. I didn't want that life for you. I still don't."   "But it was different with you, Gem. This time, I did it for you. As stupid as it may sound, it was my fucked-up way of protecting you. I love you more than I've loved anybody in my entire life, and I just couldn't drag you down into my ridiculous life. You're so much better than that.  This was me, making a decision, trying to protect you in the only way I knew. "

I know this is Gemma’s story – told from her point of view.  But when you wrote Rob, a melancholy Rob,   telling Gemma the details of that fateful night – his mental and physical anguish, sobbing and shaking – I was literally devastated for him.    Not that Gemma’s pain wasn’t devastating.  It was horrific!!  But to love someone so much that you would choose to hurt yourself so deeply to protect that person.  Had my Kleenex in my hand.  Tears and snot flying.  Jeez. 

And don’t ever let it be said that you can’t write Rob’s point of view.  Spot on  - Intense – Vivid mind visualization.  “But I chose the brunette.   For obvious reasons.   Because she looked like me?   Yeah.  But she didn't really look anything like you, Gem, apart from her hair.  I don't even remember her name. We kissed in the bar.  I took the girl up to my room and we... you know.   I don't even remember it all, Gemma. All I remember is lying on the bed with her, trying to get it over with as soon as possible.  I had to imagine she was you. That's the only way I could even get hard. I thought of you the whole time. I think I even called her by your name at one point. It was all such a fucking mess. We hardly kissed that was my favorite position with you. I couldn't look up and see her on top of me. I wouldn't have gone through with it. So I barely looked at her at all. I just closed my eyes and imagined she was you. But it was all so wrong. Of course it was wrong.  afterwards, I asked her to leave and she did. She left me her number and I threw it away."  At least he was smart enough to have safe sex.

And Kristen tried to stop him.  Wow – who would have thought.  She knew what he was doing.  She understood how much he loved Gemma.  “Kristen, of all people, tried to stop me but I wouldn't let her.”

I didn’t anticipate them having sex this soon.  But I do understand.  Not forgiveness.   Just pure and simple mutual comfort.  “We cried together, because it was what we both needed. We were both messes and right then and there, despite everything, we needed each other.  Rob held himself at bay until Gemma made the first contact – the first touch – to feel what they both missed and desired.   The sadness was still there, the hurt was still there... But for now, there was just us. Helping.  Healing each other.  We needed to feel this connection again. This doesn't mean... This doesn't mean we're back together? This doesn't mean everything is okay again? This doesn't mean I forgive you?  I couldn't say any of those things, but he knew what I meant. He nodded. "I know, Gem. It's okay. I know."

My last thought – I can only imagine what Sar will have to say when Gem tells her or perhaps Sar will walk in on them.  I hope Rob and Gem are prepared!!!  Sar’s my girl.

How can you continue to deliver the caliber writing that you do, not one chapter, but each and every chapter?  And the story line only continues to get better and better!!!!  Gosh, I can only imagine what the next chapters will bring.  Bee you are one super writer!!!!  I NEED MORE PLEASE!!!!  :D

 

Elaine – sparkledamnu on twitter

 

P.S.  I put the spotty shoes back in the closet!!!

Author's Response:

Hey Elaine,

Firstly, phew! I'm glad you put the spotty shoes back. What would Gemma do without them!? :)

Secondly, thank you so much for your lovely comments. My best written chapter? Wow! That means a lot, honestly. I always worry about how a chapter will be received, especially big ones like this. It was such an important chapter for Rob and Gemma...'Bittersweet' is definitely a perfect way to describe it. One of my lovely betas actually said exactly the same thing when she first read it. 

Ahh, I gave you a front row seat. I guess that's where the 3-way thing comes in then! Hehee.

Sorry for messing with your mind, gah! I think it's perfectly normal to feel confused about it all, because that's definitely the way Gemma was feeling. She's not ready to forgive him and move forward yet, and Rob still doesn't really know what he wants either. Clearly they still love each other, but they're both utterly confused. But no, as you said, just being friends would never work between them. There's still way too much between them and far too many good memories. And bad ones, too.

Really, the only time they weren't confused in this chapter was when they were kissing, hugging each other and making love. But then, that's never been a problem for them.

Aww, and you had to get the Kleenex out? Rob really was a bit of a mess. They both were, but he was so completely overwhelmed by her questions and having to explain it all to her, in pretty graphic detail... That was never going to be easy. You know, you're actually the only reviewer to point out the Kristen thing - that she had tried to stop him. She was trying to help, but he'd already made his mind.

You summed up their sex perfectly... Not forgiveness, just pure and simple mutual comfort. Thank you! I'm so glad you get it. :)

Hehee, of course we know Sarah will have something to say about Gemma and Rob's night together, one way or another. We'll find out in the next chapter what her reaction will be. Hmm!

Again, thank you so much for your lovely words and support, Elaine. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and write such wonderful reviews!

Hopefully the next chapter won't be too far away. :)

-SwimmingBee x

Wow! Such an intense and realistic chapter. I can totally relate to Gemma's feelings and reactions. When you're trying to figure things out with someone who has hurt you so deeply, you have those moments when you want to forget all the drama and just be reminded of how good things used to be...if only for a night. I know that some may think she jumped into bed too quickly with Rob, but if you've ever been in a similar situation then you know why Gem did it.
On a lighter note...nothing says "I'm sorry" like many expensive gifts! Rob needs to bust out the American Express! ;-)
Loved the chapter!

Author's Response:

Hi Newmommy,

Hmm, intense is a great way to describe this chapter. It was a difficult one to write, but so important for Rob and Gemma. Things are certainly not all better between them, and they both realize that. But they needed to reconnect and find comfort in each other again, even if it was only for one night, as you said.

Ha! You want Rob to buy lots of expensive gifts to make up for it? Aww. I'm sure he definitely could if he wanted to, but would that help though? I think Gemma already knows he could buy her anything she wanted, but that's not really the issue. Fun idea though. ;)

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Great to hear you enjoyed the chapter!

-SwimmingBee x

Hey Bee,

Thank you for the new chapter.  I've been so excited to see what happened with their talk.  And I used 3 kleenex to get thru this chapter.

1) I thought it was very sweet & thoughtfull when Rob questioned her to make sure that she was completely ok with him coming back in to her home since he did not feel worthy at all to be granted entrance in to her home again.

2) To be honest his explaination was not my first thought when I first read that chapter when he told her what he had done.  But I went back & re-read the story and after I thought about it that afternoon...  I thought he might have done it to protect her from his crazy world once he got back into it.  Of course it was completely STUPID of him.  He should have just talked to her about it, but yet she should have mentioned it when she had the opportunity after she talked to her mom when they visited.  She had several opportunities to express herself yet she didn't do it.

I don't agree with Rob's reasoning but I did understand why he did what he did.  I just don't agree with him actually following thru with it.  I mean really... did he even talk to Tom about it before he did it?  I'm assuming that no he did not talk to Tom first because Tom would have done everything he could to knock some sense in to Rob's crazy mind.

3) When I first thought about her taking him back to her place to talk in the last chapter... I thought she better not sleep with him that will just make things much worse.  But after I re-read today's chapter a  second time, I thought your choice of having them being intimate with each other was the right thing after all.  You could feel everything between them, you could feel their connection pouring out of the computer.  And I'm really glad with how you handled the whole situation so beautifully.  You could feel that even though they were giving in to each other, they both understood that just talking about it before crawling in to bed, did not mean that anything was fixed.  But they both got the answers that they needed.

Thank you very much for posting this new chapter.  I already can't wait to see what happens next.  I usually end up going back to reading over each new chapter several times, so I think that is what I'm going to do now. 

You did a great job Bee!!!  I really do love this story! Your Gemma & Rob are really just so easy to get swept up in to.  Thank you for both of them.

I am,

Edward's Life

(LisaP.)

Author's Response:

Hi Lisa,

Aww, three Kleenex!? Sorry! It was definitely a tough chapter, but such an important one for both Rob and Gemma.

Rob was definitely pretty sweet when he asked Gemma if she was sure about inviting him back to her apartment. Sweet, and a bit terrified too. You're so right, he thought he didn't deserve to be invited into her home again and was a bit scared of what might happen if he did go in. He just didn't want to hurt her again, after everything... But Gemma's a strong girl and she can make her own decisions. Something he might have to start to learn! 

I'm so glad you went back and re-read the story, thank you! I think other things do stand out on a second reading, like Rob pretty much convincing himself from the start that something like this was going to happen. Yes, it was stupid of him and he should have just spoken to her about it, but as you said, Gemma kind of avoided bringing up that particular discussion too. So instead, he made the decision for the both of them, because he truly thought it was the best thing. Grr! 

I think you're right in assuming Rob didn't speak to Tom before he slept with the other girl, because Tom most definitely would have stopped him from doing it, and Rob didn't want to be stopped. As he said, he'd already made his decision. He knew what he was going to do.

I'm so glad you understand the whole sleeping together situation. True, it didn't mean anything was fixed and they both realize that. Really, they just needed the comfort of each other for the night, and to help each other start to heal. We'll have to wait and see how they deal with things once the morning comes.

Thank you so much for such a wonderful, thoughtful review. I truly appreciate all your kind words and I'm so glad you're still enjoying the story. Sorry again about those Kleenexes! :)

-SwimmingBee x

 

Hmmmmm...... did she give in too easily?

Author's Response:

Hi alexandra,

Well, that seems to be the question! She hasn't forgiven him yet though... They were really just trying to comfort each other and help ease the pain a little bit. Time will tell how they'll deal with it from now on.

Thanks for reading, as always! :)

-SwimmingBee x

I think it was a little quick to hop back into bed together but it was very well written.

Author's Response:

Hi danimcket,

I'm glad you thought it was well written, thanks! Gemma's not ready to forgive and forget just yet... It was really more about needing the comfort from each other, than anything else. We'll see how they go in the next few chapters. :)

Thanks for continuing to read and review!

-SwimmingBee x

Yes! I'm so glad they reconnected again and had the big conversation they needed to have. This is still my favourite story even though I cry in almost every chapter lately! Beautiful writing. Keep up the great work SB.

Author's Response:

Hi RobAussieFan,

Hmm, this big conversation was a long time coming, wasn't it? I'm so glad this is still your favourite story, even despite the tears. Thanks so much, you're lovely! :)

More coming soon! Thanks again,

-SwimmingBee x