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Reviews For Cullenary Coupling
Reviewer: photogal (Signed) · Date: July 21, 2010 08:06 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Four - Deviant

very funny chapter...love the flashbacks Alice and Edward have.



Author's Response:

Hi there photogal!

Thanks so much! I'm humbled you are enjoying my story. I swear when I first started posting it that I thought I'd be the only one reading it checking for typos (keep finding them, too.) :)

Best,

Books

Starched Shirt Edward is throwing rose petals at you. 

Reviewer: photogal (Signed) · Date: July 21, 2010 07:23 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Three - EdBargo

very enjoyable chapter



Author's Response:

Thank you photogal! I liked the idea of having Edward kind of get a clue that maybe he did not have one. 

And the irony of having Jasper and Rosalie have to help him as punishment was too good to pass up.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: photogal (Signed) · Date: July 21, 2010 06:21 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Two - Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know

great chapter



Author's Response:

Thanks so much photogal! I'm having way too much fun in this section with snarky Edward. I'm trying to "show" just how out of his gourd he is with his internal monologue. Poor guy is pretty clueless. :) And he thinks he knows it all.

Books

Reviewer: photogal (Signed) · Date: July 20, 2010 04:57 PM · On: Chapter 6: Lies, Dreams, and Schemes

I thought you nailed the thoughts of a 16 year old boy LOL



Author's Response:

Why thank you! I had way too much fun with the kids in this story.

Reviewer: photogal (Signed) · Date: July 20, 2010 04:23 PM · On: Chapter 5: Indecent Exposure at the Thriftway on Aisle Three: Shameless Hussy Part Three

please tell me the old couple is on Bella's side of the wedding guest list LOL



Author's Response:

Nope. I just made them an anonymous couple. But I can add them in, if you like. *evil grin*

Thanks for the review!

You're getting close to the backstory which is from EPOV, and he's a little gloomy in the first chapter but the snark comes roaring back. Promise. 

Best,

Books

Reviewer: photogal (Signed) · Date: July 19, 2010 04:41 PM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part Two

funny, funny chapter. Love the images too



Author's Response:

Thanks so much, photogal!

Books

Reviewer: photogal (Signed) · Date: July 19, 2010 04:18 PM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part One

Lauren as a vamp???ewwww. LOL



Author's Response:

Hi there photogal!

 

Lauren as a vamp. Yeah, I went there. Wonder what her talent would be if she had one? Sniffing out Jimmy Choo shoes?

 

Thanks for reviewing!

Books

Reviewer: photogal (Signed) · Date: July 19, 2010 04:00 PM · On: Chapter 1 - Tanya and the Bachelor Party Bet

Go Bella



Author's Response:

Hi there photogal!

Thanks so much! I have had way too much fun with Bella and Tanya in this story. I think their antics will keep you amused. 

Best,

Books

Bella is waving at you

Reviewer: photogal (Signed) · Date: July 19, 2010 03:41 PM · On: Prologue: Bella, Sex, and Privacy

interesting



Author's Response:

Hi there photogal!

Thanks so much for the review! Welcome to Cullenary Coupling! 

I hope you enjoy my twisted take on Twilight. I kind of have a sick and depraved sense of humor. 

Best,

Books

Reviewer: blueschicka (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2010 06:58 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-Eight - About That Marriage Business

So... Are you updating anytime soon?



Author's Response:

Hi there blueschicka!

I posted a teaser on the thread for the story on the forum last night. If you follow me on Twitter @bookishqua 

I tweet whenever I post teasers and when the chapters go up. The current chapter is at 50 pages and writing is going well. I don't have a posting date in mind, but I will get it up as soon as I can. Evil author's honor. Thanks for reading and the review!

Jugurtha is leering at you. He'd like some personal tutoring in the blues.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: AJ04 (Signed) · Date: July 05, 2010 03:06 PM · On: Chapter 5: Indecent Exposure at the Thriftway on Aisle Three: Shameless Hussy Part One

Damn that was so funny...this just keeps getting better and better...I sure hope Tanya's motives become less vidictive...alas only time will tell. Dear lord the things you have these characters doing...it blows my mind away...



Author's Response:

Hi there AJo4!

I think you'll like Tanya. She'll grow on you. Really. And if you think this is twisted....Um, you should be really entertained by the HOD arc. Swear. 

Thanks so much for the review, hon.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: AJ04 (Signed) · Date: July 05, 2010 02:31 PM · On: Chapter 4: Homework Was Never Supposed To Be This Much Fun

Holy freaking Hale!! This is not going as well as Bella would have liked...dear lord that poor girl...



Author's Response:

Hi there AJo4,

Okay, so I forgot to mention that both Edward and Bella are fair game in the humiliation with humor stakes, too. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: AJ04 (Signed) · Date: July 05, 2010 02:00 PM · On: Chapter 3: Propositions and Practice

Oh dear lord just how are the Cullen's going to pull this all off...This is just getting crazier by the day. Tanya is so vindictive its not even funny. I find it amusing that she is somewhat protective of Bella but can't find it in me to care to much for her since she is trying to get Bella killed. I can't wait to see what you throw at them next.

LMAO...Newton is to damn hilarious...looks like Edward is making headway with his vulcan pinch...



Author's Response:

Hi there AJo4,

I'm happy to hear you are enjoying my sick sense of humor. Tanya is just too much fun feeling all protective of Bella while still determined to show her who is boss. And I must confess, I really enjoy torturing secondary characters in this story with practical jokes. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: AJ04 (Signed) · Date: July 05, 2010 01:28 PM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part Two

OH god that was unbelievably fanFuckintastic! I just love Edward all the more for him standing up to Tanya in all her stripperness. It was great! I feel no remorse for Tanya as her giant ass ego needed to be taken down a notch or two oh hell maybe even 10.

Whohoo!



Author's Response:

Hi there AJo4!

Thanks so much for spoiling me so! Edward is really really stubborn in this story. And he's standing up to Tanya while trying his best to be a gentleman and not humiliate her any more than is absolutely necessary. His Momma did raise him right. And keep in mind, Tanya has not only never been rejected by another other vampire save Edward - but she's never been rejected in public in front of an immortal audience. 

Ouch.

Books

Reviewer: AJ04 (Signed) · Date: July 05, 2010 01:00 PM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part One

Ok so Tanya has a bit of a complex is an understatement...that bitch is just to much. I sure as hell hope to see her go down in a flame of glory. I have every faith in Edward...Tanya may be wearing Bella's scent but that bitch could never compare to Bella.



Author's Response:

Hi there AJo4!

Thanks so much for the review. I am delighted you are enjoying my twisted take on Twilight. And Tanya is most definitely going down in flames of shame. I wanted to show just how Tanya was desperate in using Bella's scent to get to Edward. 

Best,

Books

Reviewer: AJ04 (Signed) · Date: July 05, 2010 12:41 PM · On: Chapter 1 - Tanya and the Bachelor Party Bet

LMAO...oh the bachelor party is going to be epic...good on Bella for standing up to Tanya...oh dear lord that was magnificent.



Author's Response:

Hi there AJo4! Thanks so much for the review! I wanted Bella to definitely get in Tanya's face. No one ever says no to Tanya. Well, no one who lives. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: AJ04 (Signed) · Date: July 05, 2010 12:22 PM · On: Prologue: Bella, Sex, and Privacy

Well this sounds interesting to say the least...I can't help but be curious as to where you take our favorite characters.



Author's Response:

Well hello there, AJo4! Thanks so much for the review! And the stars! This first section is meant to come across as canon-esque although I've taken liberties with the Tanya character. I felt she gets a raw deal in fanfiction. She played such a tiny role in the books. If I do this right, when you finish reading the Heart of Darkness backstory, this first section will take on new meaning.

Thanks so much for reading!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: summerc79 (Signed) · Date: July 04, 2010 06:46 AM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-Eight - About That Marriage Business

First of all, Mea Culpa for the late review. Things are all over the place with the new job. I still havent found the right balance between work and off-time. Glad I managed ot read and post this review before the next chapter though ;)

Yet again, you wrote a fantastic chapter, I really enjoyed reading it! A CC update is always a happy time :)

Such a lovely image to open this chapter. I am not sure Dalmatian dogs would be too happy with you though. Going from them to Bubonic plague victim, I can't see that going down too well ;)

And my poor little SSE! How mean of you to strike him so hard so early on *rushes over to comfort him, playing him "Hallelujah" - Jeff Buckley version of course*

Oh, and that new demon heading for Bella through Maria is just what edward needed to keep him occupied. He was gettingbored the poor soul. Wait, has he agreed he has one at this point?? He must have or we wouldn't be blessed with SSE & Jug.

Uh-uh. Talk time with the siblings. Someone should have told him to "Run, Edward, Run" for the sisterly part. The brother and elder part was much more to his taste though. See, men are easy to understand. Not complex, like women are... Uh... yeah...

Think Bella got a point across by going to sleep over at the cottage? How many times will E need to be told: You have to work at relationships. And talk. And think before you speak. Or act. Especially when an idea seems good. That's a red flag right there.

The scene in the school garden and the roses made me think of "The Little Prince" (including the part about taming the fox)

And if that isn't progress between our lovers! They are TALKING. And it's not even a planned conversation. Kuddos CCE!! You didn't put your foot in your mouth once this time. It was a good talk, explaining things further to Bella about who's who and the why's. *getting the out to cheer on CCE*

Although I guess I can understand where it is coming from, Arria's comment about only perfect ones being turned and Bella being a freak is still outrageous from a mum. Or is there another reading to be done? Like her being turned by and for her true love? I wouldn't put it past you ;)

Aaw, poor CCE turned into the bullseye of the food fight target. Teens are mean. I felt really bad for him. Very nice of erik to go mke sure he was ok though. CCE might be able to soon add "making friends" to his list of skills.

And Bella is slowly but surely "cracking" the No-Edward shell she's built aorund her (ok, she had good reasons to put it up and it can't magically disappear overnight, but still. It's good to see it thinning).

I get a Team E vibe from Carlisle, Esme and Marcus during their meeting with Mrs Corelli. Kudos once again to E for remaining polite to her when she asked what was going on with Bella.

So much can be said about Bella's ordeal. And i am sure you will in times yet to come. E is caught in a bad place with her offer. That does not bode well with his own plans for getting her back. Now he can only fake have her... Just like he intended to at first before it all turned real. Oh the irony of it!! Whoever said love was a bed of roses need their head checked.

Ummm... A marriage proposal?! In those circumstances?? You're evil, Woman! In the best possible way. I didn't see it coming. Not at that point, at least. And those words come out effortlessly from E's mouth too... Wow! Speechless. How's my dear little rocker SSE feeling about it? Has he had his tux cleaned yet? I bet he's got a whole folder of appropriate readings, hymns and so on at the ready for the event.

Oh, and I love the bending on one knee to... tie the shoes and soartaproposingatthesametime. Clever! 2 for the price of one LOL And no one amongst the B-E-show audience is the wiser about the proposal. Sneaky!

I really enjoyed (yep, I enjoyed lots of things lol) the B/E interaction where he explains people's behaviour regarding some of the "lies". It puts a whole different perspective on things for Bella doesn't it? There are always 2 or more sides to a story, and how one feels about things can also turn it into something completely different from what it really is.

Killing Jasper?! Bella was trumly out of it! Maybe she could have come with an alternative like feel miserable around him to affect his own mood? LOL Killing is a bit extreme. Though I am surprised she seems to have given up on the idea rather easily.

And so the problems keep rolling in... Poor edward really needs a bucketful of good luck charms doesn't he? *sigh* He still manage to get some pressed-against-Bella time out of his latest "complication" though. The silver lining to that cloud. 

And E in bed with B, kissing her collarbone? Naughty, naughty!! The boundaries are crumbling, sort of. And SSE didn't even bat an eye. Was he busy looking at potential suitable undergarment for His little Peach on their wedding day? ;)

Great writing, Books, as always :)

Until next time, my friend!!



Author's Response:

Hi there, hon,

No worries on the timing. I am always honored when someone writes a review. And wow! You have given me such fantastic feedback. I'd gladly wait any amount of time to hear your thoughts. :) Hope all goes well with the new job. 

When I started this story, one of the things that I was trying to get across at the beginning of the HOD is that for all their vegetarian ways, the Cullens treated humans as "other". And in so doing, they were using a lighter form of the attitude that the aristocrats had. The aristocrats kept human lines alive living with their covens under guard because they wanted them to breed to continue the line. Their only value to the aristocratic Lost Coven vampires was in what kind of an immortal they would make. If one stayed human, it was because that person was not considered good enough to turn. And to me, by having Emmett portrayed as disabled, he represents an oddity in their world. Only people that were considered desirable were turned (either for looks or potential power or bloodline). And if that vampire did not come out like a "normal" vampire should, that vampire was destroyed. 

So Emmett technically would be an outcast in the aristocratic world if they figured out about that whole brain damage dealio. That is why Arria did not want Bella turned. She knew that the brain damage was permanent, and that turning her daughter would never cure it. She did not want to see her daughter scorned because she loves her daughter - not because she looked down upon her. So what you are seeing in this last section is the culture clash between the Old Volturi Guard, the Lost Coven Vampires, and the Cullen philosophy of being a vampire. Arria might be cold, but she is pragmatic. She knows her daughter is painfully shy and she simply wanted to protect her. Which is why she never intended on revealing Bella's lineage to the vampire world - her Mother surprised and infuriated her on that matter. Now she's doing her best to try to help her daughter while still keeping mind that her daughter is fragile and she has a lot to learn about humans. 

In my mind, Edward is always a gentleman in public with women. Even if he doesn't have gentlemanly thoughts. So I liked having him be all overly mannered with Mrs. Corelli. When I read the books, the whole bargaining part just did not make sense to me given Bella's characterization. If she unconditionally loves Edward, why would she be so cruel to insist that he had to be the one to turn her. If he turned her and failed - and killed her Edward would be in eternal agony. So I had a different take on how that deal came to be. I wanted it to be thought up hastily - coming out of a long simmering conflict. And thanks for the "you're evil" flattery :) I wanted that to surprise people - I'm glad it did. 

Writing that scene was so challenging in terms of trying to explain all the nonverbal behaviors that they were "acting" so that the people outside the room could not figure out what was going on. So for me him going down on bended knee was meant to show several things at once. First, he's trying to propose to her honorably to make up for the last time - and he's trying to do so while livid, confused, and hurt. Second, he's hiding his face in her shins tying her bootlaces because he feels rejected. He's also hiding the proposal from his family because he thinks since she's drugged that she'll most likely change her mind. And he's most definitely not going to do a "We're engaged" given their past - if that was not what Bella really wanted. 

I'm glad you liked the conversation about lies in Bella's life. To me Bella is flawed because she's like all other humans, inconsistent in who she forgives. I've had her refusing to have any contact with Renee throughout the story after she learned about her brain injury and their lying about it to show that. She really did forgive Edward and Leah when they asked. Now reconciliation is an entirely other issue. And trying to repair a relationship when you find out that so many people have lied to you for so long - I wanted to show the damage that it did to Bella. And I wanted to have Edward making her think. Edward at the beginning of the HOD arc would not have been bothered by her feeling anger towards the late Clearwaters. He would have decided that it would be easier for her to mourn them if she could dismiss them from her mind. I wanted that section to show just how much he has grown, too. 

Bella was out of it with the whole killing Jasper part - but she's also scared out of her mind. She already had to deal with Victoria. She's petrified about Maria. Her giving up on the idea was meant to show her being just a wee bit irrational and drugged - another reason why Edward is thinking she'll change her mind. You are the only person who has caught him kissing her when he thinks he can get away with it. Five gold stars for you. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: lynnehand (Signed) · Date: June 26, 2010 09:13 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-Eight - About That Marriage Business

I absolutely love this story. I check every couple of days for an update. You have such skill penning this that I can envision every scene, every moment as though I'm actually there. Thank you for entertaining me. :) I don't really use the email attached to this account but you can always reach me at bonnie@bonnieroseleigh.com. I'd love an outtake.



Author's Response:

Hi there Lynnehand!

Thanks so much for the review! And the stars! And you made my night with your kind words about my writing. Starched Shirt Edward is blushing and praying for the virtue of humility at present. Jugurtha is leering at you. I never imagined when I first started posting this that anyone would be clicking on the story but me checking for typos (and wow I've found an awful lot of them). Thanks so much for coming along with me as I tell my twisted version of Twilight.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: winterraine (Signed) · Date: June 24, 2010 12:32 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-Eight - About That Marriage Business

Absolutley amazing! This is defintely one of the most well written fics I have read. The thought, detail and creative inspiration you have put into this is astounding.

 

Thank you and I look forward to continuing on!



Author's Response:

Hi there winterraine!

Thanks so much for the review! And the stars! I'm happy to hear you are enjoying the story. It's the first one I've written, and it's been a wild ride. Thanks for accompanying me on the trip.

Jugurtha is throwing rose petals at you. Leering, too.

 

Books

Reviewer: Rogue (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 10:07 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-Eight - About That Marriage Business

Woohoo!  Fantastic chapter. There was actual dialog between those two crazy kids.  More than once, even!  Granted, he may still have some issues convincing her that he does love her, really and trully, but progress was made. *grin*

Starch Shirt Edward...Poor confused guy.  Ya just got to roll with it. *snicker*



Author's Response:

Hi there Rogue!

Thanks so much for the review, hon. :) *waves* And yes, there was lots of talking between those two. Expect more of such bad behavior coming up. He really does have issues on that front, you have hit the nail on the head. He has the bad luck to have timed his deception at a time she found out about a whole boatload of other people lying to her for her own good. So Bella really has good reason to believe he did speak the truth when he said, "I did it all for your scent."

Starched Shirt Edward is bewildered that he is an engaged man. He's not sure what that means. Yet. But he's giddy right now.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Fleuritup (Signed) · Date: June 19, 2010 12:41 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-Eight - About That Marriage Business

now we've discussed my feelings on how i think  edward is being treated, and then there was the food fight that was directly aimed at edward. i was pissed. i was ready for edward to turn green and vaporize some human ass. but then bella told them to stop. and then erick was just such a sweet heart and my anger and resentment faded. and then there was quality bottle cap conversation with the two of them blocking out other listeners and my smile grew and then there was the not quite engagement from bella and my hopes soared when edward asked her to marry him for real. and i get it she is still angry but im so ready for their happiness, i feel that someone should have done something when edward was being pelted by food. i was like no one with him did anything but watch i mean the dude is always being humiliated but i cant remember who it was that broke someones noes. i was satsified that one human didnt get away with being a jerk. and i loved how they finally explained to that teacher how edward is who actually keeps bella calm. i couldnt help but laugh and feel sorry for that one teacher who was waving the newspaper at bella. .good times.. i was shocked though that the killed that immortal child and left maria unscathed(sp) i hate that she has gotten so close without anyone being aware im like that demon must be hella powerful and im wondering what she has in mind for bella. im  wondering if she secretly knows that bella has got some serious power as well as the three natured Edward. when they were in the cafeteria didnt rose say "i got this" well will we see what she did to defend her brother. im looking forward to that. im glad they are drop outs. i know that sounds stupid but school was added stress to their already overwhelmingly complicated lives. and this falling apart vampire maria needs her ass handed to her not only by jasper but by alice, edward and bella. and just for the fun of it marcus because lets face it he is scarey. you said this demon in maria is infintely more powerful than the one that inhabited paula, well that was one hard to exorcise how are they going to destroy this one? and wouldnt the other vamps be terrified to go near a vamp that appears to be suffering from gang green and MRSA ? i know she willingly accepted that live sucking thing into her but based on your description of her id assume the condition to be contageous.



Author's Response:

Hi there Fleuritup,

I swear on my evil author's honor that I answered this review when you posted it and Twilighted seems to have eaten it. You have my official groveling apology for not catching this. I think what I was trying to convey with Edward willingly being pelted by food did not come across. A "normal" human teenager from a "respected" family as the Cullens pretend to be would not stand up and start throwing food at the other children. And this family is ruthless about role-playing being human part. So to me, his family was helping him as much as they could because really, it's not like physically this is hurting Edward (to them). And Edward is using it as an example to the immortals that he really is stronger than they are because he's willing to endure this just to be around Bella. Don't think she did not notice that, either. You will learn more about why Maria was unscathed in the next chapter which will post on ff before it goes up here - like soon. When Rose said, "I got this," she was referring to the fact that she would help Bella and Edward needed to get out of the room. I'm delighted you like the drop out idea. I thought them endlessly going to school was silly. And yes, Maria is contagious in that once the demon has sucked her dry it will be looking to sweet talk another being into accepting it *whistles innocently* Makes you want to re-think that whole focusing on Mary Alice and Bella part, right? 

Hugs,

 

Books

Reviewer: winterraine (Signed) · Date: June 18, 2010 12:09 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

Seriously, seriously enjoying your work!

 

Edward is so charming with the "human" talk. I can't wait for Bella to call him on that one day:)

 

Thanks again for sharing your story with us!



Author's Response:

Hi there winterraine!

Thanks so much for the review. I'm thinking Twilighted ate the original one I posted - because I'm horrified that there isn't a response to the one you left. I always do them. Mea Culpa. Edward has never called Bella his human out loud. And Bella would slap him into the next century if she ever knew he did. Come to think of it, that's a good idea. *evil grin*

Thanks for reviewing and making me smile. :)

Books

Reviewer: schleprock (Signed) · Date: June 18, 2010 08:15 AM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-Eight - About That Marriage Business

i love marigolds! they just happen to be my favorite flower,weird i know because you can't really get them in a bouqet but i love the orange ones. more bella/edward time (clap,clap)and yay the real/fake engagment is back on!!! maybe we can get some real/fake cuddles in next? as always i will wait on pins for the next chapter.   p.s.  sorry if i spelled anything wrong i'm a total lois lane. 



Author's Response:

Hi there schleprock!

I like marigolds too, the big poofy light yellow ones. You will definitely see lots of cuddling coming up. Promise. 

And I totally suck at spelling. No judging here. :) Thanks for sharing your thoughts about the story with me and your continued support of it. I keep posting the chapters because of readers like you.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: winterraine (Signed) · Date: June 17, 2010 11:12 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Two - Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know

Okay, I have to admit, I am horrible at reviewing. There is absolutely no excuse that I can give because I have enjoyed so many amazing stories in the last month or so (the time I have been addicted to ff, I'm sure you understand...hehehe). What's worse is that I am very close to submitting my own work, somewhere, sometime, soon.

My only pathetic reason is that I am so consumed with the reading that I just can't stop. Again, no excuse.

I have decided to change my selfish ways:)

Your story is freakin' amazing! I can not say that with enough emphasis!

Thank you so much for sharing your amazing talents and allowing me to revisit my favorite story with fresh eyes. Your Edward has transformed not only how I now view the first chapters of your story but of my whole Edward.

Your work inspires me to be a better writer!

Thank you!

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