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Reviews For Cullenary Coupling
Reviewer: akemi (Signed) · Date: August 21, 2010 09:06 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

*sigh*



Author's Response:

Aw akemi, thanks so much! :)

Books

Reviewer: Twigasmic (Signed) · Date: August 21, 2010 02:28 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Eight: Something Fetid This Way Blows

i like how jacob's character is portrayed in your fanfic, its how i've always thought of him in the books. same with renne and charlie, i never thought of them as good parents and its magnified here. i love your story so far and i am absolutely hooked:)



Author's Response:

Hi there Twigasmic!

Thanks so much! When I initially wrote some scenes with Jacob in that section of the story, a friend of mine, Oxymoronic, looked at one and told me that I needed to remember that there was a huge age difference between Edward and Jacob and that I was initially making Jacob a bit too cartoony. So I went back and tried to put some more thought into why Jacob acts the way he does. Not to excuse his behavior - but to give it some more depth. In my mind, Jacob has had his Father dangling his conditional love over him all his life - saying if you do what I tell you and marry Bella - then I'll approve of you. And that makes Jacob resent Bella, resent his father, and feel alienated. 

And yeah, Charlie will never be the model parent of the year, neither will Renee. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: akemi (Signed) · Date: August 21, 2010 11:31 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness Part Six - Bonkers

this was a great chapter.



Author's Response:

Thanks akemi!

Either people liked that chapter or it completely creeped them out. I was trying to "show" that Edward was in denial about that whole "almost killed my singer" dealio. So his way of coping with it was to think that if he took "care" of his singer, then that meant he wasn't that much of a fiend, right? So he basically destroys the already destroyed scene of the crime. 

And I wanted to give a glimpse into how his family is coping with his odd behavior. I had loads of fun with Emmett in this chapter.

Thanks so much for the review!

Best,

Books

Starched Shirt Edward is waving at you and winking when he thinks I'm not looking. 

Reviewer: Lillygigglepops (Signed) · Date: August 21, 2010 05:54 AM · On: Chapter 3: Propositions and Practice

Love your story!  Can't stop reading it!!!!  Very entertaining!!!  Thanks for writing it!!!!



Author's Response:

Hi there Lillygigglepops!

Cool pen name. :) Thanks so much for the review! And the stars! I'm overjoyed to hear you are enjoying my sick sense of humor as I present my twisted take on Twilight. :) Thanks for making my day. :)

Books

Reviewer: akemi (Signed) · Date: August 20, 2010 09:54 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Five - Dream Edward

dream edward... love it. starched shirt edward is just that stiff!



Author's Response:

Hi there akemi!

Thanks for the reviews! How you seriously spoil me so. :) Remember that Dream Edward is what Bella calls him when she's kinda sorta out of her mind and Edward actually sees him as a) the role he has to play to win her and b) competition. Think back to Deviant. You and I both know that SSE got some pleasure out of that ahem accident. Not that he'd admit it. But still.

:)

Books

Reviewer: akemi (Signed) · Date: August 19, 2010 10:58 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Four - Deviant

i love protective edward.



Author's Response:

Thanks so much akemi! I had lots of fun showing his cluelessness and developing feelings in that chapter. I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it. Expect more mayhem.

Books

Reviewer: akemi (Signed) · Date: August 16, 2010 11:34 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness Part One - Pride and Tribulation

really really good.



Author's Response:

Thanks so much akemi! 

Best,

Books

Reviewer: akemi (Signed) · Date: August 16, 2010 02:18 PM · On: Chapter 7: The Webers - Flowers and Pasties for Jesus

em just doesn't know when to shut up. but i love the lug.



Author's Response:

Hi there akemi!

I never bought into the idea that someone who had his skull crushed like a smashed grape by a bear could be turned and come out perfect. Yanno? So in my mind, Emmett has a brain injury that although it did heal to an extent, he has to live with some symptoms - once of which is having no filter at times. I wanted him also to be exceptionally bright - probably one of the smarter ones of the Cullens - you just have to look for it. You'll find out  more about Emmett and get to see him shine in multiple ways in the backstory. :)

Thanks for the review! And the stars!

Books

Reviewer: akemi (Signed) · Date: August 15, 2010 09:27 PM · On: Chapter 5: Indecent Exposure at the Thriftway on Aisle Three: Shameless Hussy Part Three

love love love it!!! mike has a weiner!! lmao!!



Author's Response:

Akemi,

Mike Newton is tapping me on the shoulder and asking me to tell you that he does indeed have a weiner, but he prefers to think of it as Mike the Monster, thank you very much. And he's taking appointments if you would like to star in one of his personal pervy fantasies. No worries, I just face palmed him for you.

Thanks!

Books

Reviewer: akemi (Signed) · Date: August 15, 2010 06:55 PM · On: Chapter 5: Indecent Exposure at the Thriftway on Aisle Three: Shameless Hussy Part Two

even thought she's plotting against them.. i'm glad tanya's trying to help bella



Author's Response:

Tanya will see the light. Eventually. And she most definitely can put on a show. Glad you are enjoying the tale, akemi!

Thanks for spoiling me so.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: akemi (Signed) · Date: August 15, 2010 03:09 PM · On: Chapter 5: Indecent Exposure at the Thriftway on Aisle Three: Shameless Hussy Part One

well at least she has angela as a good friend. that dumb jessica with her selfish thoughts. charlie! hahahaha!!! "Stripper pole?" hahaha



Author's Response:

Charlie is not the sharpest tool in the shed in this story. Yeah, I went there with the stripper pole. Evil, I know. Glad you enjoyed it akemi! Thanks so much!

Books

Reviewer: akemi (Signed) · Date: August 15, 2010 01:58 PM · On: Chapter 4: Homework Was Never Supposed To Be This Much Fun

wow.. poor bella. but then again she might not be mad.



Author's Response:

Hi akemi!

Thanks for the review and stars! For the record, I am an equal opportunity torturer of all my characters. 

:)

Books

Reviewer: akemi (Signed) · Date: August 15, 2010 10:02 AM · On: Chapter 3: Propositions and Practice

since edward is going to trick bella will there be a nessie?



Author's Response:

Hi akemi,

Ordinarily I don't spill plot points. But I will make an exception in this case. I have a line waaay down the road where I mock hybrids. I don't think children should face palm their parents as a way of communicating. And the idea of Edward so protective of Bella to the point of OCD not shrink wrapping his Johnson resulting in Bella getting pregnant? No. I really had a hard time buying into that part of BD. So Nessie will not be in this story. 

Best,

Books

Reviewer: akemi (Signed) · Date: August 14, 2010 11:43 PM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part Two

that's what that skank gets



Author's Response:

Hi akemi!

I do believe sometimes, just sometimes there is justice in the world. Even if it's a make believe world. Thanks for reviewing. :)

Books

Reviewer: akemi (Signed) · Date: August 14, 2010 10:24 PM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part One

that sneaky tramp!!!



Author's Response:

Which one, Edward or Tanya. LOL! Thanks akemi for the review.

Tanya is blowing kisses at you. Really.

Books

Reviewer: akemi (Signed) · Date: August 14, 2010 09:14 PM · On: Chapter 1 - Tanya and the Bachelor Party Bet

love the banter between bella and tanya. i'm glad u gave balla a backbone.



Author's Response:

Hi there akemi!

Thanks so much for the review! and the stars! My stars! Bella definitely has a backbone in this story. You'll see why in the backstory which starts with the Heart of Darkness arc. This story is how that backbone develops with not only Bella, but with Edward as well. 

Best,

Books

Reviewer: akemi (Signed) · Date: August 14, 2010 08:15 PM · On: Prologue: Bella, Sex, and Privacy

ok. i already like this story from the summary u gave. i can't wait to keep reading.



Author's Response:

Well hello there akemi!

Thanks so much for the review! And the stars! If you are currently reading chapter one, hit the refresh button on your screen because I edited it. Evil I know. I hope you enjoy the story!

Bella is waving at you.

Books

Reviewer: photogal (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2010 09:17 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Nine - How 'Bout 'Dem Apples?

great chapter



Author's Response:

I'm so excited that you enjoyed it, photogal! That honestly is my favorite chapter thus far. Keep the seat belt on, and thanks so much for hanging in there with me. :)

Books

Reviewer: photogal (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2010 01:57 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Seven - Oh the Depravity! The newborns and Tyler Crowley Must Die! Not Necessarily in That Order

not sure where u are going with this, but I'll hang in there



Author's Response:

The next two chapters are probably my favorites. Hang in there for me, and wear that seatbelt. Promise. 

Jugurtha is throwing orchid petals at you.

Books

Reviewer: BlueDiamond (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2010 04:38 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Four - Deviant

This story is so awesome, I can't believe. This was hilarious with what happen to Edward with his first orgasm. I think it should have been measured in how high it scored on the rictor scale as to the Magnitude of it. I used to raise show bunnies(Netherland Dwarfs) for competition. My best and most famous rabbit in the country and out of this county, was, Blue Diamond's Magnitude. He is a hot looking(and very distictive looking Netherland Dwarf) and can be found on the internet and my website. I gave up my 10 year hobby of raising show bunnies because of Twilight and Edward Cullen. At least I walked away on top of my game being #1 on the East Coast and #1 in NY state and 5th in the nation with my winning rabbits because of Mag and out of him.

www.freewebs.com/bluediamondrabbitry/

Author's Response:

Hi there BlueDiamond!

Thank you so much! I have a pretty sick and twisted sense of humor. If I can think of something and say to myself, "Now that is just sooo wrong," then usually I end up writing it. I loved the idea of satirizing Edward lurking in the bushes like a stalker, and, ahem, conducting research. For moral purposes. Of course. 

Congratulations on the show bunnies!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: yeuxdor (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2010 01:42 AM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-Nine - How to Court Your Wife in Seventeen Syllables

Well it had to come sooner or later.  I've reached the end of what you've written so far.  I discovered your story a number of days ago and have disappeared into your world and found it a wonderful, surprising, clever, frustrating and hopeful place to live.  Thank you.  

I actually was in the Olympic National Park and Forks and First Beach and what not with my family last month so I am loving your pictures and it is great to have it all so vividly in my mind.

 

This is an epic undertaking and I am thrilled you decided to embark on in.

 

I will be staring at my inbox for news of an update like Douglas staring at Edward's pocket.



Author's Response:

Hi there yeuxdor!

Thanks so much for the review! I'm delighted that you are enjoying my twisted take on Twilight. Main Edward would like you to know that he's not as bad as I make him out to be. He's far worse. Jugurtha is blowing kisses at you.

And I'm totally jealous you got to go there. Like green with envy jealous. 

I am working on the next chapter now and have it about a third of the way done. I am not sure when I'll update but you can expect it to be a long chapter. I usually update once or twice a month. 

Best,

Books

Reviewer: photogal (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2010 04:22 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Five: Technically I Did Not Sleep With Her on the First Date

whew deep breath lots of info



Author's Response:

The plot really does get complicated right about then, photogal. It all meshes in, I promise. :)

Thanks for reviewing!

Books

Reviewer: photogal (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2010 04:20 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Four - What Could Possibly Go Wrong With a Miscreant Immortal Having an Un-chaperoned First Date?

wow



Author's Response:

Thanks! Right back 'atcha!

Books

Reviewer: photogal (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2010 04:19 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Three: Family Trees and First Dates

cool bracelet



Author's Response:

Thanks photogal! It took forever to find one I liked. :)

Books

Reviewer: lippert1000 (Signed) · Date: August 09, 2010 02:11 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-Nine - How to Court Your Wife in Seventeen Syllables

Ah ha! Now we know why Tanya's left breast sags by 4.5 millimeters in the first part of the story.  ;-)



Author's Response:

Hi there lippert1000!

You do indeed know why. Not that Tanya is admitting to any of that sagging business. Ever. *sniffs*

Thanks for making me laugh.

Best,

Books

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