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Reviews For Cullenary Coupling
Reviewer: the shrew (Signed) · Date: January 07, 2009 01:55 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

OMFG!  How I love this!  There is so much that I want to comment on that I hope I don't forget anything.  What stuck out the most to me in this chapter was how far Edward progressed during it.  He is really making progress here, and I think the difference is that he is starting to notice it (maybe just a little bit around the edges). 

I adored the paragraph about Edward using his human mother's chocolate cake recipe for Bella.  That was super sweet in the best possible way.  it just really got me.

I also felt that I got to understand more about Edward through his eavesdropping in on the coversation of his family.  I think that was a very helpful exposition. )

I literally guffawed and slapped the table repeated when I read the bit about Edward ordering Renee flowers.  This whole paragraph is so fucking WIN! "Dearest, would you like to call your Father on my cell phone and ask him his wishes? He is expecting to hear from you today as is your Mother. We sent her flowers about an hour ago, by the way, in honor of her birthday to thank her for giving the world the treasure of your smile."  I almost died reading that.  I read it a second time and had the same reaction.  I'm lol-ing now seeing it again.  I don't know why that one in particular got me, because the entire exchange with the pup was brilliant.  I loved everything about it.  The characterization there was simply hysterical, but I was also particularly fond of Bella's response to it all.  "Thank you for that. I swear I barely know him and he acts like we have this deep friendship. He goes around telling everyone he's my best friend. It's creepy," Bella wheezed.  LOVE THIS SO FRICKIN' MUCH! 

The necklace is great for the intrigue and plot development.  It's also a lovely gesture.  I am pleased that it didn't get lost in the professional cleaning and restuffing process though.  I thought that was pretty lucky.

Oh!  There was one little thing though...you have a line you might want to change.  It's small, but it broke the spell of the story when I read it -- After all, what reasonable vampire would not want to protect the heart of his singer? It produced her blood.  Please correct me if I am wrong, but the heart does NOT produce blood.  It circulates it, and is therefore responsible for it's nourishment throughout the organs (and aroma for Edward).  Edward is a doctor twice, and would not make that comment, so it took me out of the story for a sec.  Like I said, not a big thing, but I thought you ought to know ("Troll!  There's a troll in the dungeon!" Sorry, that's Harry Potter, not Twilight *must remember not to confuse poor authors with favorite quotes from other universes, Bad Shrew!*

Now I am off-topic and have lost my train of thought!  Grrr!  I have the memory of gnat at the moment.  It's frustrating.

Alliterations still rock! 

Loved the phrase, sorry lost the quote but close to, "That's my girl.  I mean my human."  That was a very telling moment for me.  He's seeing her more as human, not his human with the great-smelling blood.  It spoke volumes to me of his progess.  

I know I am forgeting many other fantastic moments, but please know that I just loved the whole thing from start to finish!  It was a lot of fun to read! :D



Author's Response:

Hello my shrewish friend, Thank you SO much for giving me one of the most amazing, constructive, helpful reviews - I mean that sincerely. I was not as sure about this chapter when I posted it, and am delighted to see that it came off as I intended. In regards to Edward and the cake, you are seeing a bit of Edward attempting to empathize in tiny bits. He is very rusty at it from an emotional perspective. With his mind reading he can intellectually understand what someone is thinking, but drawing upon his emotions (ones that had faded in many cases) proved difficult. Being around Bella is awakening those emotions which is a terrifying process for him because he doesn't understand it (hence his erratic behavior). The moment in the hallway at school when he had the vision of his Mother served two functions. First, it showed him an example of how to comfort someone in a moment that he was panicked. It did not occur to him that what his Mother was doing was comforting someone she deeply loved. He just saw it, realized how it had made him feel when he had been miserable, how comforting it was, and grabbed Bella in a moment of desperation. And THAT started their path to romance more than anything. Second, the vision gave him back a priceless memory of his Mother, and her love, and he can physically relive that moment over and over again. And to Edward mere words cannot express how wondrous that gift is. Of course he doesn't feel he can tell Bella - so he's trying to thank her with the chocolate cake. He's trying to give her a part of his childhood, something from his Mother that he adored. And having the cake made by Esme - both his Mothers are sending their love to Bella because he knows how very upset Bella is at that moment over her diagnosis (and the fact that her parents hid it from her) and he is trying to comfort her.

I wasn't sure if I conveyed everything I wanted to in the conversation with the family so he'll be eavesdropping again. My main goal was to show that for the past 75 years Edward has been "acting" the role of the painfully shy quiet brother. He has never made a single request of anyone in his family. He has never had anything beyond an intellectual debate with any of them. Although the Cullen men like to wrestle from time to time, he always let them win. He did so out of a deep and abiding fear that if he did not act like the perfect child, they could/would discover his secret and ask him to leave the family and then he'd be alone. He loves his family, but he is so messed up from Chicago that this is the way he has coped with it. The result is that he's been mentally torturing himself every day for 75 years because he's never told anyone what he did. And since he's never told, he can't work through it, he can't process it, because he desperately tries not to think about anything related to that except that he doesn't want it discovered and that he's a horrible person deep down inside. So in listening to his family you should get this contrast. Edward is talking. A lot. He's actually had an intense quarrel with both Rosalie and Jasper and made them quarrel with their spouses in the process (deliberately) - and they are just floored. He's talking at school literally more with Bella (and they see how tough it is for him) than they've seen him talk in a decade. And they are simply astounded at how emotional he became over her illness. Remember the last time she was in the hospital he took her there, dumped her and left. This time he refuses to leave her side, is scanning her records, is requesting tests be run, and oh goes batty over her house trying to destory fungi and dustmites. His family firmly believes he's in love (which you and I both know he is) but at the same time they know something is just off (and we now it is) and they are having a hard time expressing that. And they are genuinely worried for him because he's never been in love before and they don't know whether or not it is even possible for a vampire to HAVE a relationship with a human. But just as important, Edward is so irrational at the moment that the self-preservation side that has been guiding his behavior all these years has been shoved aside. THAT side of Edward is screaming in a corner of his mind is panic because Edward is making requests of his family (and he's never asked them for a thing), he's asking advice (never done that before on anything significant), he's even making demands (medical testing on Bella from his Dad - ordering Rosalie about the car).

Jacob in my mind has had  really sad life. He has a domineering Father, his Mother is dead, his sisters left him to be the sole caretaker of his wheelchair bound Father. Jacob can never leave the reservation because his is inline to be the next chief and all his life he's been told that he will marry Bella. He's never questioned it because Daddy said that would happen. I'm doing a sly satire on imprinting there because Jacob really does believe that once he explains to Bella that they are meant for one another she's going to fall for him. He does not love her. He does not even like her. He does not know her. He just knows that they are meant to be together. So Edward is not as threatened by him because he knows that Bella doesn't like him, and he reads Jacob's thoughts and sees how unrealistic but peculiar they are. I'm glad you liked the way I characterized Bella/Jacob/Edward dynamic. Expect more of it in the next chapter.

In terms of the dialog in that section Edward is literally mimicking Carlisle in how he would talk to Esme. He knows of no other way to sound like a "couple" because he has so few memories of his parents talking. And Edward feels that he needs to embarass Jacob since Jacob is trying to use the public location of the confrontation to seize Bella and run (and Edward knows from reading his mind that the Quilete tribe really didn't send Jacob - Jacob's DAD sent Jacob - more on that later). So Edward wants to push all his buttons and he wants to do it in public. Also, it's a safe way for him to "act" like a boyfriend in front of Bella without getting rejected. He really doesn't know if she'd reject him or not. Yeah, he's clueless. More on that in the next chapter. I liked how he sent Leah flowers (he really has good reason to NOT like the Quileute tribe - more on that next chapter again) for Bella as well as her Mother (who he thinks is a dingbat and is angry at for lying to her daughter) because he is trying to help Bella while she's sick. So to me him reaching out and doing those things was telling.

The necklace did not get lost because Esme was literally standing over the crew (her crew I might add) when they steam cleaned it. and Esme was the one that restuffed it. She noticed the pocked but felt it would be prying to open it. I showed that gesture as a humorous contrast. He does not throw away her teddy bears because he can understand since he has three prized possessions what it feels like to want to have them. But when he finds out from his Mother than human girls often keep their Mother's wedding dresses to wear at their own weddings he throws hers in the trash. Nice contrast eh?

Thanks for catching the heart line. I went and fixed it. Edward is smacking me for writing that. :)

I'm glad you liked the "that's my girl" He is bit by bit going to be seeing her more but it will be a slow process.

As ever I am delighted that you reviewed. If I failed to answer anything, please stop by the thread and I would be delighted to expound upon the story. Besides, the more the merrier over there. Best, Books

Reviewer: LaurenCullen (Signed) · Date: January 06, 2009 08:40 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

"That's my girl."  Ahhh this line had me smiling from ear to ear....he's cracking and I love that.....

great chapter.



Author's Response:

Thanks so much! He is cracking bit by bit and is completely unaware of it. He also made a reference to being married not long ago.... I'm trying to walk the line between sentimentality and complete denial. :)

 

Thanks for your feedback. Reviews totally make my day.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: littlemissy1503 (Signed) · Date: January 06, 2009 05:55 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

that was so precious. I do think he's in denial about his true actions concerning Bella.



Author's Response:

Hi littlemissy1503! Thanks so much for your review. You're right Edward is deeply in denial about his behavior. He feels so terrible about what happened in her room that he's going bonkers and literally tearing apart her house and fretting over fungi as a way of compensating. Poor guy. :)

Books

Reviewer: MyBrownEyes (Signed) · Date: January 06, 2009 05:37 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

This is another great chapter.  Edward is so cute...getting jealous when Jacob shows up...acting like Bella's boyfriend to get rid of him...he's still denying that he's starting to actually fall in love with Bella.  Sure he may go a little over board when he's protecting her from germs...but that's what Starched Shirt Edward is there for. He goes and prays for Edward's mistakes...like wanting to kill all the pets.  And Starched Shirt Edward is just awesome for looking into the Inquisition in order to find a way to beat Jacob.  And man, that Jacob sure can't take a hint...but Edward so could have taken him on in a fight. Especially since he had all the nurses looking out for him...chocolate did help with that though.

Dream Edward is awesome too! You can send him to my house anytime you want. He can protect me anytime...I'd take Dream Edward over chocolate anyday.

I'm loving these Heart of darkness chapters...can't wait to see what happens next!



Author's Response:

Hi My Brown Eyes,

Thanks so much for your review - I am happy that you are continuing to enjoy the story and thanks so much for supporting me throughout. :)

Edward is getting deeper and deeper in trouble. It hasn't occurred to him yet, that by calling Bella his "girlfriend" in public that he just might have created some expectation on her part. I had to have Starched Shirt Edward go for the Inquisition because he is also in a strange way in denial. Pope John Paul II apologized for the Inquisition in 2000 if memory serves, saying that what was done in the name of the Church was wrong. Starched Shirt Edward is going to overlook that little fact and turn to the Inquisition for violent means of torturing Jacob that were at the time Church approved.

You will be seeing more Edward and Jacob coming soon. Promise. I love Dream Edward. Because Bella sleep talks we will be hearing from him in the future. Dream Edward and chocolate - hmmm - you're right Dream Edward totally wins. Although seducing Starched Shirt Edward does have its own appeal. Decisions decisions.....

 

:)  Books

Reviewer: schleprock (Signed) · Date: January 06, 2009 04:21 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

aaah that was so sweet! i can't tell you how much i enjoy this story and look forward to updates. i think jake should be thrown in front of a semi truck though! and i'm hoping for a little more bella and edward one on one soon,but as always it was wonderful.



Author's Response:

Hi Schleprock! Thanks so much for your review. I am glad that the sweetness of Edward is coming across - I wanted to show him as bonkers and yet endearing at the same time.

 

I can definitely promise you more Bella and Edward one-on-one in the next few chapters. Lots of it. Swear. I'm not going to throw Jake in front of a semi. Yet. But thanks for the suggestion as it definitely has merit. I think you will find what I AM going to do to Jake the next time he and Edward meet very entertaining.

 

I have a thread for this story where I post spoilers. Stop by some time and say hi. :)

Best,

 

Books :)

Reviewer: elphabacy35 (Signed) · Date: January 06, 2009 04:12 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

I am really loving these "Heart of Darkness" chapters. I was wondering, if you don't mind, could I borrow your Edward to help me with some housework (amongst other things :)this weekend? I'll take the starched shirt too!



Author's Response:

Hi elphabacy35! Thanks so much for your review. You know, when he was planning on eradicating all the pets in Forks he seriously planned on cleaning every single home with meticulous precision while the homeowners were away to protect his human's lungs. I could send him over. I just hope you don't have a cat.:)

The response to this section of the story has been amazing. Starched Shirt Edward will be with us when we pick up with the rest of the tale, have no worries. He's too much fun to not bring along. And if you prayed with him, he would definitely consider helping you with housework as he thinks that would be a way of helping him get into heaven.

Starched Shirt Edward is waving at you longingly eyeing a broom and dustpan. :)

 

Books

Reviewer: PaisleyCrighton (Signed) · Date: January 06, 2009 01:06 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

OK this is becoming one of my top favorite stories. I cannot say enough about this story. I love that Edward calls Bellla, my human, my singer, never Bella. He is so busy pretending to love her for her and not her blood that he doesn't even realize he is falling in love her. His rational for his actions are priceless. After the Jacob incident I think I am starting to like Stuffed Shirt Edward just a bit. Spanish Inquisition Indeed.

Keep updating. I can't wait for the mystery of the Grandma and red eyed people. Did Bella's grandma know the Cullen previously? If she grew up in Forks she might have known them the first time around. I just can't wait!!!



Author's Response:

Hi PaisleyCrighton,

Wow! Thanks so much for that incredibly kind fantastic review. *blushes* It just bowls me over that people like the story. I am having the time of my life writing it. I also am glad that you like the use of "my human" because I was afraid it would freak people out. I did that to show how he doesn't see her at first as a person. And you might also note how his siblings (some of them) use her name but he does not unless speaking to her - and rarely at that. And you are right he is completely in denial and bewilderingly clueless as to the extent of it. Stuffed Shirt Edward was trying to find a morally appropriate reason for using extreme violence. Since the Church doesn't condone it in any recent writings - he had to go to the Inquisition - and he just decided to block out the fact that Pope John Paul II apologized for that event. Starched Shirt Edward is kind of in denial as well, although not as badly as Edward is.

Grandma and the red-eyed people will become clearer in the next few chapters - although cruel person that I am I will be giving it out in small doses a bit at a time. That's about all I can spill about the future plot. I will tell you that there's an awesome scene coming up with Edward and Jacob that I think you'll find highly entertaining.

Thanks so much for your review :) Books

Reviewer: notmyself (Signed) · Date: January 06, 2009 12:08 PM · On: Prologue: Bella, Sex, and Privacy

Starched Shirt Edward has Dream Edward trapped in a cage? That's kind of hot. Unless he's practising inquisition torure techniques on him. Cause that's just not cool.

 

I love you so much. Seriously. And at the urging on your thread, I read Oxymoronic8's story. And now I love you even more. Tell me she's a fast updater. Please, for the love of all that is holy and unhealthy, please. I'll love you even more then.

 

Left you a ridiculous message on the thread recently too. Just fangirl squeeing. But still...

 

~Mia



Author's Response:

Remember that Dream Edward is the way that Bella sees Edward not one of Edward's voices. And Edward both loves and hates the guy. It pushes all his buttons. On one hand he's excited she's dreaming about his lips. On the other there's this voice inside his head telling him that Bella just has a crush on an image of someone he created - not the real him. That's why I'm joking about Starched Shirt Edward locking him up.

Oxy's story is just made of win. It's my favorite and I joked that we her fans should be called the OxyMinions, so welcome to the club. She does post pretty regularly, but since she just put up a chapter a few days ago, don't expect another one for at least a week. She's very careful about her work and won't post it until she feels its ready. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: silly sad sarah twilighted (Signed) · Date: January 06, 2009 11:19 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

Awww so sweet!  To bad he couldn't just slug Jacob once LOL  That would have been awesome but understandable his control was already at an extensive peek!  I look forward to your next chapter i love the story!!!!



Author's Response:

Hi Silly Sad Sarah Twilighted,

Edward thought doing the whole handshake deal was better because they were being filmed on a security camera and he did not want to do anything that could be perceived as breaking the treaty. Also, he did not want to frighten Bella. And he kind of liked the idea of freaking Jacob out with a simple hand shake to perhaps convey to Jacob that if Jacob had a hard time with a handshake that perhaps he might not want to mess with Edward.

I'm delighted to hear you are looking forward to the next chapter. I will be working on it probably a little longer because I want to make sure I do it right. I can promise you that if it turns out how I planned, there should be more entertainment with Jacob coming up - either this upcoming chapter or the next - but I promise Jacob will keep you amused. Thanks so much for reviewing. It really does make my day. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: KRo (Signed) · Date: January 06, 2009 10:43 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

I love this!  I love how we can see Edward actually falling for her and trying to rationalize it as just being her scent!  I love that he can't even see it yet!  This is freaking fantastic!  Can't wait for more!



Author's Response:

Hi KRo, Thanks so much for your kind words. I am positively overwhelmed at the response this story has received, and am having so much fun with Edward's brain. He is going to be in denial for quite some time, poor guy. He is making baby steps towards getting out of it, but he's still fighting it. Poor guy is going to have to be dragged to love kicking, screaming, biting, hissing, wailing the entire way.

Best,

 

Books :)

Reviewer: siouxchef (Signed) · Date: January 06, 2009 10:08 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

He's so deluded!  I love it!!!!

Another one sooner than this one?  Pretty please?



Author's Response:

Hi Siouxchef,

Have mercy on me, this chapter was over 13,000 words. I won't be posting the next for at least a week because it needs some fine tuning. I am so happy to hear that you are enjoying the story. I love writing it. :)

Thanks so much for your feedback.

Best,

 

Books :)

Reviewer: edfan0913 (Signed) · Date: January 06, 2009 09:43 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

I think you are a great writer....but I really think this should have been two stories.....They do not tie together well and I feel like I really want to get back to the original story and skim throught this. They are good stories but do not go together.



Author's Response:

Hi Edfan0913,

I welcome constructive criticism as I know I have a lot to learn as a writer, so thanks so much for your feedback. As strange as this may sound at this point in the story arc, your reaction is completely understandable. The two parts should NOT be meshing.

The only thing that you should have been able to tie the two stories together thus far was

1. The real reason why Edward is terrified of having sex with Bella. Because in the prologue only he and Alice knew about what happened in her bedroom.

2. Edward pulling away from Bella and staring at her while she sleeps - he has something on his mind - and that something is his unworthiness as marriage approaches..at least that's part of it.

If I pull this off effectively, when we finish with his backstory the front end will mesh although not completely. I write the first end in 3rd person not 3rd person omniscient. So Starched Shirt Edward, for example will appear in the rest of the story whenever we hear from Edward once the backstory finishes.

 

Again, thanks so much for your feedback, thanks for reading, and thanks for your patience.  Best,  Books :)

Reviewer: Miss Poison (Signed) · Date: January 06, 2009 09:15 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

You have no idea how brilliantly hilarious you are.



Author's Response:

Miss Poison, you have just totally made my day. Thanks so much for your review. Dream Edward is blowing kisses at you and calling you his Queen. :)

Books

Reviewer: notmyself (Signed) · Date: January 06, 2009 08:10 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

Awe, I kinda miss Dream Edward. I cranked up my laptop today and this was the first thing I saw. I actually squeed. Out loud. It was embarrassing. But this was, once again, a marvelous chapter. Had me laughing and shaking my head, and actually talking to my computer throughout it. I don't normally do that. Really. But I can't seem to help myself with your story.

 

I love how much you adore Jacob Black. So refreshing. Comparing him to Newton. Just priceless. I should have taken my cue from earlier chapters, but this was just a wonderful bonus surprise to me.

 

~Mia



Author's Response:

I squee whenever OxyMoronic8 posts a chapter so I completely understand the phenomenon. Really. And I'm honored that you consider this story squee-worthy, Mia. :)

I'm trying to do Jacob a little differently than just a cardboard bad guy. He has been told his entire life that Bella is meant to be his by his Father. And Jacob has an unusual relationship with his Father - he craves his Father's approval, and does not question his Father's pronouncements about what he should do with his life. If his Dad says that he will marry Bella one day, then that is what is going to happen. Jacob isn't too fussy about the details. He really does think that once he tells Bella that she is meant to be his that Bella is going to throw her arms around him and beg him to marry her. Because that's what he's been led to believe his entire life. I also compared him to Newton because Newton is different when fantasizing out her - more outlandish more vulgar, more detailed. Jacob's fantasies by Edward's yardstick are bizarre even compared to the ones he normally blocks out from humans out of sheer boredom.

Thanks for the review. :) Books

Dream Edward once you to know that he will try to make future appearances if Starched Shirt Edward lets him out of the cage he's trapped him in.

Reviewer: chloe9 (Signed) · Date: January 06, 2009 08:01 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

This chapter is another work of art.  I love when Edward and Strached Shirt Edward argue, and all of the absolutely ridiculous ways that Edward over-reacts.  Although I honestly wouldn't mind if someone gave me a kitchen full of groceries from Whole Foods.  I like that Edward finally referred to Bella as his girl rather than his human.  He's making baby steps in falling in love with her as a person and not just a scent.



Author's Response:

Hi Chloe9,

Edward is making baby steps but he still is deeply deeply in denial. Now he just declared her his girlfriend in front of Jacob but he's rationalizing it as defending her honor, because really, he has no idea of what the concept of "girlfriend" entails in human terms. And I thought the idea of his Mother stocking the pantry and him tossing everything out and re-stocking it hilarious. Edward thinks he knows more than his Mother in this case - which has never happened before. I don't know if you caught the reference at the beginning of the chapter to the scentastic rather than romantic way he describes the relationship. :)

And calling it a work of art, you're making me blush, :)

Thanks so much for your review, as ever it delights me to hear people like the story and are enjoying it as much as I love writing it. Best,  Books :)

 

Starched Shirt Edward wants me to remind you that he usually wins these arguments with the other Edward in his mind. :)

And he plans on having more because the other Edward clearly needs to work on his soul and his attitude towards their human.

Reviewer: EmmBonn (Signed) · Date: January 06, 2009 07:48 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

He's so sweet it almost hurts. It must be fun to write Edward like this with all the big words - assuagement, egregious negligence, tribulation hehehe I love it.



Author's Response:

Thanks so much for your review. I am having the time of my life with him. He's just so much fun. :)

Starched Shirt Edward just blew a kiss at you, although he's not admitting it to me. And now he's scurrying off to his corner to pray. :)

 

Best,

 

Books

Reviewer: superstarrh (Signed) · Date: January 06, 2009 06:23 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness Part Six - Bonkers

He has officially lost it.  He is obviously head over heels in love with her but he needs to work on the best way to show her without seeming obsessed.  I mean to most replacing your whole house would say I love you but others may see it as just a wee bit stalkerish. 

It is funny to see him trying to figure out the proper ways to deal with his feelings and his bafflement at todays slang.

Great job and am happy to see that there will be another chapter coming soon!



Author's Response:

Hi Jaime, Yes, Edward has gone completely bonkers. Here's the deal though. In his mind he's not in love with her. He's just protecting his right to her scent. He has lied to his family and told them that he is falling for her - that was his evil master plan. Now you and I know he's falling for her. But he does not. And he comes up with all sorts of logical (to him) reasons to explain away his behavior. And if you notice his increasingly erratic behavior - prim proper Edward is all of a sudden making sexual references or using innuendo or thinking of her in a sexualized manner - he's also making public scenes to defend her bringing his behavior to the notice of the human community. And now that she's ill and her fever has not gone down and she's delerious he is just beside himself out of guilt. In his mind, it's completely his fault she is ill. He left her to go hunting and his human needed him. And the main thing that drove his behavior, aside from denial, in this chapter was his abject horror at what happened in her bedroom. Purging her house of dustmites and ripping apart her room means symbolically that in his mind it never happened. And his family is completely baffled about the house thing but are doing it to keep him calm while Carlisle franticaly tries to get Bella better. The neighbors have absolutely no idea that all that work was done in the Swan house, and all the repairs are going to be conveniently explained away as a result of "horizontal rain" and glass breakage.

*snorts*

The other chapter should be up any time now. I hope. :) You will get to meet the charming Jacob Black. Do me a favor and let me know what you think of his character. I'm trying to make him a bit different than the "average" dark Jacob.

 

Thanks so much for reviewing :) Totally loved your latest chapter  :) Books

Reviewer: superstarrh (Signed) · Date: January 05, 2009 07:44 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Five - Dream Edward

Ha...everyone should be so lucky to have someone like Edward shop for them!  So considerate, that he is.  I love how much she needs him and his reaction to it.

Only one chapter to go but I see that there will be another one coming soon!

Can't wait.

Jaime

Reviewer: superstarrh (Signed) · Date: January 05, 2009 07:44 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Five - Dream Edward

Ha...everyone should be so lucky to have someone like Edward shop for them!  So considerate, that he is.  I love how much she needs him and his reaction to it.

Only one chapter to go but I see that there will be another one coming soon!

Can't wait.

Jaime



Author's Response:

I had gone shopping with my sister that day and had seen a very similar scene of a gentleman wandering throught the store looking bewildered. I had to go there. :) Thanks for reviewing :) Books

Reviewer: superstarrh (Signed) · Date: January 05, 2009 06:47 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Four - Deviant

Bella seems to be in the hospital more than she is in her own home. 

And breaking glass??  Good thing Esme doesn't know about this or else she would have never let them use her home for the honeymoon.

Once again great mixture of humor into this story!  Only two more chapters to go!

 

Jaime



Author's Response:

Hey Jaime,

Thanks for reviewing, and I am so happy that you are enjoying this. I've had so much fun frolicking through Edward's brain. Yes Bella is in the hospital far too often. The reason (brain damage from an accident as a toddler that impacted her balance) for her tendency to be accident prone will be explained in the next few chapters at least to her. Now that you know about the whole breaking glass deal does Edward's desire for privacy on a deserted island make a little more sense? Glad you are enjoying the story and uh, I just posted another chapter in the queue. :)  Books

Reviewer: superstarrh (Signed) · Date: January 05, 2009 04:20 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Three - EdBargo

I'm really enjoying this insight into Edward.  Slowly but surely I will make it through these chapters before you add more.

Great job, you would think I could come up with something more original to say but alas I cannot at this time.  Just know that I am enjoying this!

Jaime



Author's Response:

Jaime,

I am ecstatic that you are enjoying the story :) Thanks so much for reviewing, it totally makes my day. :) Books

Reviewer: superstarrh (Signed) · Date: January 05, 2009 11:41 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Two - Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know

That Mike he never does learn does he?  I like seeing how Edward comes out of his shell as he gets to know Bella.  Great job as always.



Author's Response:

Thanks so much! Given that he broke Mike's legs because Mike was "thinking" about seducing Bella in HOD part 2 - I thought Edward's reaction in the Thriftway chapters showed heroic self control. :)

I'm having so much fun with Edward at present. He's a hoot. :) Thanks for reviewing. It totally makes my day. :) Books

Reviewer: superstarrh (Signed) · Date: January 04, 2009 08:03 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness Part One - Pride and Tribulation

Amazing.  You put such thought into his background and it shows.  Your writing gives such a clear picture and I can see it all in my mind as I'm reading it.  Well done and I can't wait to read what's next.

Jaime



Author's Response:

Aw Jaime, Thanks so much! Considering I am such a huge fan of Human Experience - I'm really flattered that you are enjoying the story. I am working on the next chapter already. Swear. I'm editing it now. Starched Shirt Edward is waving at you and I think I just saw him blow a kiss in your direction. :)  Books

Reviewer: TotallyKawaii (Signed) · Date: January 04, 2009 10:15 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness Part Six - Bonkers

This is a wonderful story and I can't wait to read the rest of it! Am eagerly waiting for Dream Edward and Starched Shirt Edward's next appearances. (... okay, maybe not so much from Starched Shirt Edward and a little more from Dream Edward. He seems more into admitting his verra obvious love for Bella!)



Author's Response:

Hi TotallyKawaii!

Thanks so much for reviewing and I am just bowled over at the response to this story. Reviews totally make my day. :) I know they take time to write so again, thanks for giving me your feedback. I love me some Dream Edward and will be scheming to bring him back into the story - no worries there. Starched Shirt Edward is supposed to annoy you - he's Edward's conscience. And he bugs the heck out of Edward.

Dream Edward remember is Bella's way of seeing Edward. It's her idealized version of him, the way she sees him in her mind. He is not, for example talking to Edward in HIS mind like Starched Shirt Edward is. I make that distinction because when Bella talks to Dream Edward she is being completely vulnerable - and honest - and Edward just doesn't know what to do with it because he just thinks she's out of her mind with fever. He's deeply in denial. Part of him is delighted, wants to jump over the moon when he hears her cry for Dream Edward to hold her. But the other part of him cringes because he thinks to himself as he caresses her hair when she's delerious that once she's better she'll never let him touch her. So he both loves and hates Dream Edward. Does that make sense?

 

Again, thanks so much for reviewing. :) Books

Reviewer: paigecullen (Signed) · Date: January 03, 2009 10:13 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness Part Six - Bonkers

Long but great story can't wait for more



Author's Response:

Hi Paigecullen,

 

I can't seem to write chapters that are less than 11,000 words at this point because I'm trying to stuff so much at you in terms of character development. I'm glad you are enjoying it. My hope is that you see Edward who has gone from shy, who rarely speaks, to all of a sudden speaking in complete and might I add long sentences in front of his family, fighting with them, fighting with humans, freaking out over his singer's illness despite being a doctor and having a clear understanding/objectivity with other patients, and then going completely OCD over her house. To me, his behavior was out of guilt as well. He wanted to demolish the scene of the "crime" by literally re-doing her room. So I am presently working on the next section but it might take me another week to get it up. I do promise to do my best to make it interesting and entertaining. Thanks so much for your feedback. Stop by the thread on the AU forum for this story sometime. We have lots of fun. :)  Books

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