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Reviews For Cullenary Coupling
Reviewer: historicvampirelover (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2009 06:37 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Nine - Legacy

I have missed my beloved Starched Shirt Edward so much!!!  I just know that once he settles down with me, I mean Bella (cough) he'll be a wild man! 

Can't wait to see it :)

I love the visions, and the interactions with the sort of new characters.

Great chapter as usual, books



Author's Response:

Starched Shirt Edward wants me to inform you that alas, he is now committed to Edward's "scent"-ance with our dear little one. He is quite willing and earnestly offers, however, to be your spiritual advisor. He would love to go "wild" as you say discussing scriptural passages and Saint Augustine, a current hobby of his. He envisions you in a plaid skirt and white shirt taking lessons from him in prayer. Purely spiritually of course.

Glad you liked the visions Historicvampirelover. It took me a while to write it in a way that made sense. I wanted everyone to see the contrast between Jasper - who already has and will continue to deal with what he has done and Edward who will not as he has not faced up to his rebellious years. And I wanted Edward to see Alice and Jasper's unconditional love. She has witnessed such a horrible moment and still loves her husband with all her might. 

 

Also, the romantic in me had to find a way for Jasper to have a vision and Edward and Bella to get into bed together.

*snorts*

Thanks so much for reviewing. It totally makes my day. Books :)

Reviewer: Camilla (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2009 09:48 AM · On: Chapter 7: The Webers - Flowers and Pasties for Jesus

OK, now I prepare myself for the jump in the past. You write very well passing effortlessy from dark to light. But I am terrified because I feel I am going to crash and be very unhappy. Basically I want  Bella andEdward, after so many trials, to be happy and celebrate thir love first as human-vampire and then as vampires, as in canon. But certainly the way you have made Edward up he is either whimp or he really must have a terrible past.

Well, I'll read on

 



Author's Response:

Heart of Darkness part one is pretty dark. It tells of Edward's feelings about being a vampire and it lets you know just what he was thinking about when Carlisle asked him why he felt unforgiveable. Things lighten up after that. I can definitely promise you that you will see Bella and Edward fall in love in this story. Swear. I'm just going about it a different way.

Because this is an AU piece I might bend canon in places - so just giving you a heads up. I'm doing so because I'm trying to make this story different.

And the thing you should keep in mind about Edward in the first half - that's the Edward you see not the one you know. You're about to meet Edward - the real Edward. Thanks so much for reviewing. :) Books

Reviewer: Camilla (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2009 04:46 AM · On: Chapter 1 - Tanya and the Bachelor Party Bet

Hi, i am a late reader (I prefer to have a lot of story already done before I start, less agony in waiting) but here I have just a question -are you going to stay in canon or not? -If so, I believe that Irina should not be at the bachelorette, because she should be still pissed due to her lover demise. In fact Bella sees Irina for the first time when hunting with Jacob and Renesmee, if I remember well

Well I'll comment more later on



Author's Response:

Hi there, thanks for catching that and I am not staying in canon on that issue. I should warn you that a long backstory from EPOV is coming that definitely does not come across as staying in canon - esp. what goes on in Edward's mind. Thanks so much for reading.

 

Books

Reviewer: EclipsedbyJacob (Signed) · Date: February 01, 2009 06:29 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Eight: Something Fetid This Way Blows

I totally love this story, and am irritated there's no more to read.  Update soon, so I can find our more!



Author's Response:

You must be psychic EclipsedbyJacob I just posted the next chapter in the queue. Seriously. I'm glad you are enjoying the story and hope you like the next chapter. ;) It's 17,000 words so should keep you sated for a while.

 

Books

Reviewer: EclipsedbyJacob (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2009 11:53 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness Part Six - Bonkers

I see what you mean about your Jacob.  Yeah.  Not really feeling him.  Of course, I've always prefered Bella with Edward.  Another wonderful chapter!



Author's Response:

Hi EclipsedbyJacob, You'll get to see a bit more about Jacob and why he behaves the way he does in the next few chapters. I'm basically arguing that his Dad has set him up for a no-win situation. Were I in Jacob's place, I'd be pretty grumpy too. I'm delighted Edward's OCD episode entertained you. It's basically his reponse for feeling guilty - he all but destroys the scene of the "crime" and thinks if he does all those things that will make her life safe - because he's not willing to remove himself.

Thanks so much for your review!

Books :)

Reviewer: EclipsedbyJacob (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2009 09:52 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Four - Deviant

An orgasm that can shatter glass for a mile around?  I think that's the best Edgasm ever!



Author's Response:

Aw thanks! I tried to give a different reason why Edward might be hesitant to have sex. Keep in mind he never told Bella. So if you think about the front story arc...she's pursuing him and pushing the boundaries that he has firmly set in place and she has no idea that when he says he could kill her he really does mean what he says. :)

 

Books

Reviewer: EclipsedbyJacob (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2009 08:58 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Three - EdBargo

I had to stop.  Your background is amazing, and actually quite in character, while not even close to the original Twilight plot.  I really enjoy this!

Oh, and it doesn't hurt your chapters are sooooo long.  How many words do you average, anyway?



Author's Response:

Quite honestly, they vary. At first they were about 3,000 words as the story progressed the Twilighted boards would not accept at that time larger file sizes which is why I had to divide the Shameless Hussey into as many parts as I did and one other chapter as well. Right now the one I'm working on will be around the same size as the last one. I remember once in school a long time ago being smug about turning in a long paper to a professor. The professor tore me new body parts because the paper was not only marginal (she was right) but she had to read that many pages of marginal work. So one thing I do try to keep in mind is that if I make it really long, I need to have a reason why so much content is IN the chapter. I probably will start shrinking them a bit in size because it's hard putting that much up at once as RL keeps me hopping and that way I can update more often. I am delighted you are enjoying my twist on the Twilight Saga. I just wanted to use similar characters and reframe it from an entirely different perspective. Thanks so much for your continued support of the story. Reviews seriously make my day EclipsedbyJacob.

I'm guessing you are a Jake fan by your name. You'll have to let me know what you think of his characterization. I'm trying to show in the upcoming chapter in particular why he's behaving the way he is without demonizing him. In my mind, he's been raised from birth by a rigid Father who keeps telling him over and over that he has to marry Bella - but never lets him be around her. Jacob wants to please his Father therefore he accepts that one day he will marry Bella and it will just "happen".

Best,

Books

Reviewer: EclipsedbyJacob (Signed) · Date: January 29, 2009 11:06 AM · On: Chapter 6: Lies, Dreams, and Schemes

I totally love this so far.  I don't even know if I stopped to review, because you totally have me hooked in.  I love all the sub plots and how they're interacting with each other.  I can't wait to read more!



Author's Response:

Hi EclispedbyJacob!,

 

Thanks so much for your review. I just want to warn you that the Heart of Darkness is going to start a lengthy backstory on Edward and Bella's relationship. The first chapter is dark - and it gets lighter from there. What I'm trying to do is to start out the story sounding very canon-esque and then give you the story behind the story so that the first part if I do this right, takes on new meaning.

Again, thanks so much for your review I know they take time to write and I very much appreciate your feedback. It made my day.

Best,

 

Books :)

Reviewer: dancingblondie (Signed) · Date: January 24, 2009 11:45 AM · On: Chapter 4: Homework Was Never Supposed To Be This Much Fun

ur a perve



Author's Response:

That is probably an accurate statement. I am having lots of fun with Tanya. Be aware that in a few chapters we are going to start a flashback arc that will explain the story behind the story for what you've just read. And if you think I'm bad in this part of the story - I'm only just getting warmed up, dancingblondie.

*snorts*

Thanks so much for reviewing. :) Books

Reviewer: Cavriola (Signed) · Date: January 24, 2009 02:13 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Eight: Something Fetid This Way Blows

Hi!

I'm not going to ask why, but I just hope that you don't go on further flashbacks after this and end up somewhere in Carlisle's childhood. After all, this was a flashback from a flashback. That being said, of course it was good.

The beginning was lovely. The predator speaking was nice (as in, ...nice!). Latin and Greek at vampire frequency was very smart of the Cullens. "The first time I'd spoken in three months" and the family encouraging Edward because of his shyness was a good visual, because before I guess I didn't really get the extent to which he was pretending around everyone. "Verdant", mmm.

The wolves are pretty BIG in canon (and Ephraim was described thus in this chapter), so if the European werewolves are even bigger, what does that make them? something you might meet and mistake for a mammoth? Scary.

Ew. You know, I think you win all sorts of goriness points because I don't see many ways in which that fursploding incident could get more wrong (so is this the part where the wolves do something so wrong on so many levels? I thought it would be funny. I guess it doesn't have to be.). I think it's worse than Breaking Dawn. ... no. Kidding. I don't. This sort of makes sense, at least it gives a good reason why Edward would later want Bella to avoid the tribe. Beyond good, actually.

The phrasing of the treaty... that was pretty interesting, too. They did, though, at some point acknowledge the Cullens shouldn't bite people? But the family argument... huh. How intricate of them.

I loved many, many of Edward's remarks about Jacob, most of all the "snap his neck" line and the one that involved "absurd", "pathetic" and later "doomed", not because they did but because of the way they were phrased. And "basic stalking", I suppose Edward could give lessons to Jacob, though a) he isn't going to and b) he would possibly not think of himself that way at all. "Skulking among the shrubbery" was great.

Oh, I remember reading somewhere that grabbing dogs by the scruff of their neck, lifting and shaking them was a really strong method to show them who the boss is... still, I am not at all sure if that can be done to a human. Maybe it can, if you're a vampire with two medical educations. Two. Hah.

"Court" is a lovely word when Edward says it.

The tokens are a wonderful plot twist. So at any time, they may use one to allow Edward to marry Bella? Or did it only work if they ask the wolves to do something?

And so they're after Charlie's genes?

Too many questions, I suppose. But it's really GOOD for a plot, you know. That there are loads of intriguing questions. (You don't have to answer them now, either.)

Love,

Cavriola.

P.S. None of the Edwards can possibly be lonely at this point. They've practically got fan clubs!



Author's Response:

Hi Cavriola! I have missed you! I hope all is well with you and as always thank you for your amazing review. :) I had to do the flashback within a flashback because I wanted to make a contrast between the beginning of the chapter where you see a meeting with Ephraim and how reasonable everyone is and the beginning of a friendship - with the end of the chapter - where you see the fallout. I was afraid that people would get confused with me sticking them back in time with Edward in terms of his behavior. At that point in his history he had only been back with the family for a few years, but Rosalie and Emmett had joined. This was good for Edward - he now had siblings and Carlisle and Esme could focus attention on someone other than him - and bad because it increased his fears that now there were more people in the family who could reject him if his Chicago sins ever came to light.

SM describes the wolves as the size of horses. I don't even want to think what the European ones are like. *shudders*

I'm glad you liked the wolf incident. If I remember your area is linguistics, right? I was inspired by Orality and Literacy by Walter Ong for that plot line. The tribe depends on oral traditions passed down from member to member rather than being written. Because of that, things can be misremembered or confused over time, and knowledge lost. The tribe had established a pattern of telling "legends" to their children - and hoping no one phased. I wanted to show how by following their traditions tragedy struck. Also, I don't know if I made it clear in that chapter, Lee is Jacob's great-uncle on his Mother's side - and Jacob bears a strong resemblance to him. Imagine Edward's reaction when Jacob turns wolf....later on down the road. Lastly, I found it tragic that in their desire for secrecy these young men fall so ill and are so confused and have raging emotions and literally no idea what is happening to them when they first phase. To me that had to be absolutely terrifying. And Lee had no idea what was going on and no concept of his strength and panicked. Also, Gregory Clearwater had spread rumors in the tribe about the Cullens and when he panicked Lee decided he had to frame them....so you see how Clearwater himself ended up having a role in that tragedy. I wanted to show why the Cullens, despite caring for Ephraim and certain of the tribe members as they did, left with a simmering anger.

You are right about the grabbing by the scruff of the neck with dogs. It is a way to show dominance and I included it in there not only to play up the physical difference in strength between Edward and Jacob, but to also show that Edward for all intents and purposes really has dehumanized Jacob. The only reason Jacob walked away from that meeting with a pulse was because Edward genuinely liked Ephraim Black.

The phrasing of the treaty - the reason Carlisle did that at the time was two fold. First, Rosalie and Emmett had just recently married and Rosalie desperately wanted children. Carlisle wanted them to have the option to add humans to the family without the wolves considering it a treaty violation if Rosalie and Emmett wanted to adopt a human child - and if that human child wanted to be turned at a later date they had that option. Second, he knew that they might run into a newborn that they might be able to persuade to join the family - and if so newborns are difficult to manage (Emmett's year was horrible) - and Carlisle wanted to make sure that if someone did get bit by a newborn family member - that it would not be considered a treaty violation. Also, Emmett liked to bite when they wrestled (newborn Emmett, that is). So Carlisle was trying to be very careful in leaving the option to expand the family. The Quileute's thought it odd to put that in the treaty, but decided to go along with it when the Cullens conceded that anyone, friend of them or not who bit a (non-family) human would be left to the not so gentle hands of the wolves. The wolves considered that to be a huge concession as they were outnumbered at the time, so they did not quibble about the family clause.

I'm glad you like the language. I have been working hard to keep it in the right time era and formality. I had someone at fanfiction.net leave me a review that made me laugh. He/She said (not unkindly) that I had made him/her have to use the dictionary. I definitely plan on expanding the courting imagery. And skulking - and stalking. I thought it funny that Edward is so blind to his own behavior and he criticizes Jacob for basically doing the same thing that he has done.

They are definitely after Charlie's genes. You'll learn more in the next two chapters. I'm putting the finishing touches on the current chapter and will try to post it within the next few days. I have posted three teasers on the thread. Come say hi when you can. All the Edwards are blowing kisses to you.

Best,

Books :)

Reviewer: Bkwrm (Signed) · Date: January 23, 2009 07:36 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Eight: Something Fetid This Way Blows

"I found him lurking on the right side of the house in the bushes like a stalker. For the love of Pete his point of observation didn't even provide a glimpse of her window. What was he thinking? He was so incompetent he couldn't do basic stalking?"

LOL! Yes, Edward knows all about competent stalking! He could give lessons!

 



Author's Response:

That he could Bkwrm. I wanted to play up that irony and Edward definitely will always view Jacob's behavior as peculiar.

Not, mind you that his own could be subject to untoward thoughts. He does, after all, have her best interests in mind.

More Dark Edward coming up soon - just for you.

 

Dream Edward is looking longingly at you.

 

Books :)

Reviewer: superstarrh (Signed) · Date: January 22, 2009 05:18 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Eight: Something Fetid This Way Blows

Oh silly Jacob, never mess with a man in love (with a scent only of course) but he will go to whatever lengths to secure what he feels is rightfully his.

Another great chapter and I look forward to more!



Author's Response:

RL work has me hopping. I have the draft written, I just have to polish it here and there. I will try to get it up in a few days. I am very glad you liked what you've read - I adored the creativity you brought to the story you just posted. It was endearing. :)

Jacob in this story has been raised to believe that Bella is his and that she will fall for him. Jacob's Father has never bothered to explain to Jacob just how that will happen. So Jacob is completely clueless. Billy genuinely thinks that Jacob will imprint on Bella and that it is all meant to be. The tribe remember, presents the legends as just that, legends and the boys when they phase have no idea what is going on - which to me would be terrifying. So Jacob just wants to please Daddy and get Bella. He doesn't really care what he has to do in order to reach that goal and Bella's feelings in his mind don't really matter because, after all, they're in love, right?

Reviewer: schleprock (Signed) · Date: January 20, 2009 08:16 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Eight: Something Fetid This Way Blows

update,update,update,UPDATE!!!



Author's Response:

I am I am I'm staring at a 60 page draft as I type this. Swear. It needs editing and I'll try to post in a few days if I can. In the meantime I have posted teasers on the thread. You might find them interesting.

:) Thanks for your interest in the story. More Edward and Bella coming up. Soon.

 

Dream Edward is blowing kisses at you.

Books

Reviewer: lovely_penguin (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2009 07:40 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Eight: Something Fetid This Way Blows

Fantastic job on the flashback to the whole tribe/Cullen history lesson.  I am so caught up in your story... I love all the detail you put in!  Can't wait for an update!  I need a Dream Edward of my own.  But then again a Starched Shirt Edward would be would provide an interesting conquest...  :)   



Author's Response:

Hi there Lovely_Penguin!

Thanks so much for reviewing! I am glad you liked my explanation of the tribe. We will understand a bit more in the next chapter as to why they are the way they are. Primarily I'm arguing that when you depend on an oral tradition of secrecy to pass down generational knowledge, you run into problems. And the wolves have serious problems. They don't realize how serious. I am working on an update and as usual have written too much so am editing. I will do my best to get the next chapter up as soon as humanly possible - Real Life is kicking me with work too and I don't want to post it until it's "ready". It's currently simmering.

I'm torn on who would be more fun, Dream Edward or Starched Shirt. Why decide? Why not both?

Dream Edward is batting his eyelashes at you and saying, "Bella likes my lips better..."

:) Books

Reviewer: MyBrownEyes (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2009 07:29 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Eight: Something Fetid This Way Blows

Hey Books!

So this was another FANTASTIC chapter and so well written! I can imagine how everyting happens. So its taking me awhile to get to read (stupid school...don't they know I have fanfics to read!) but I absolutely loved it.  I always wondered why Charlie was so out of it when it came to Bella and I love your reasoning. Who knew Charlie had it in him to have a girlfriend. But poor Bella having to deal with that and now knowing that her parents kept her condition a secret. I think I would've like to know why I'm so clumsy! I love how you explained Ephraim Black and the history behind the treaty. What happened to those Blacks though (Billy and Jacob wanting to make Bella Jacob's wife...EWW!). ANd Esme is awesome! Conveniently letting Edward take out the trash! I never liked Jacob in the books so I love that you've allowed Edward to torture him! It was HILARIOUS! And I also love that Bella doesn't like him either (I hated how she said she loved Jacob in the books!).  I'm glad I got a chance to read this today(it totally made my ay better!). Especially since I won't have access to a computer or the extra time (Its my 21st  birthday this Thursday so I'll be heading to Vegas! Woo Hoo! so i had to finish everything before I leave). Anyways I'm rambling...Please say Dream Edward will be here a little longer...its fun to read about what Bella says! And poor "The Predator" maybe he can have some more scene time soon and maybe a name..

Keep up the great work!

~MyBrownEyes



Author's Response:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MYBROWNEYES!!!! Starched Shirt Edward and Dream Edward and The Predator and The Original Edward in barbershop quartet are singing you a lovely rendition of Lida Rose - along with Happy Birthday. Dream Edward just blew you a kiss which of course has started the other Edwards to elbow each other out of the way to do the same. You will get to see some character development in all the main characters, I hope, Charlie and Jacob as well. I wanted to give an explanation for Charlie's behavior that made sense with canon. In my mind, he never recovered from Renee even though he realized she was not good for him. He's been trying to move on, but has done a miserable job of parenting out of cluelessness rather than malice. Bella is going to be dealing with her anguish in the next few chapters and I quite agree with you that it must be hard to find that out after 17 years of thinking you were just clumsy and falling is your fault. She's not at the point where she can understand why they did what the did, and when she's mad she just shuts down. So she won't be speaking to her parents - at least that's what she plans. I'm glad you like the history - I'm trying to use it to explain the current situation with the wolves which we will be touching on in this upcoming chapter (partially). You will find out what happened to the Blacks over the next few chapters and I hope you like my explanation. Bella does not, will not ever ever and ever love Jacob in this story. She will be polite to him and he will do a bit of growing. But she will never love him. Promise. Have a great time in Vegas and Starched Shirt Edward wants to remind you that he is praying for you and your Mother in thanks for giving the world the treasure of your smile and lovely brown eyes. :) Books

Reviewer: morgan_taggart (Signed) · Date: January 19, 2009 09:41 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Eight: Something Fetid This Way Blows

yay! jacob got tortured, that scene was magnificent. When i read this i think of it like a movie, a very well scripted alternate way of the twilight saga. :) i love the length of the chapters. they keep me occupied. I am currently sick so this is just another way for me to shed time, happily. phenomia must be awful! poor books and Bella. :(  i'm glad that you kept dream edward in this chapter. i love his raw honesty. I found the Paula Black thing insane. but i like that you made charlie a rounder character. he used to be so flat in the books but your're giving him dimension.something he never had. like the fact of how insensitive and ignorant he seems. Bella sleeps ALOT! but of course that comes with the sickness.I enjoyed the background information of the Quileute tribe. I think Ephraim was so respectful, what the hell happened to all the other black decendants?! i apologize if any of those are mispelled, i am much too lazy to scroll and see if my grammar is accurate.haha, i find it quite ironic though that jacob asked for a year for him to try and get her in his grasp. why would he EVER consent to such a request, but he actually does end up leaving for a year. sad sad sad part. i know people whom totally skipped new moon due to the fact that Edward left, which is ridiculous in my eyes. WHOAH, i totally went off topic, sorry bout that.more irony seems to fall through  through the cracks when Bella is mentioning her disdain of Jacob, but actually falls for him. thank god for alternate universe, hopefully that doesn't occur. well, overall another feat of fantatstic fan fiction. :D

-morgan



Author's Response:

Hi Morgan_Taggart! I'm sorry you are sick and hope you feel better soon! I can't promise to always post 16,000 word chapters but I will post as much as I can. Pneumonia is not fun, and pneumonia combined with asthma - really not fun. So Bella is sleeping a lot right now just to get over it. Also, it helps me for plot purposes - but she does have legitimate reasons for being asleep right now in terms of her recovery. I love Dream Edward. He's not going anywhere.  I definitely plan on fleshing Charlie out a bit more. He's not going to be a one-dimensional character (hope, hope) by the time I'm done with him. In my mind, Charlie is well-intentioned and he loves his daughter very much. He's also shy, and feels terribly guilty over his marriage. Charlie never really got over Renee although he has moved on. To me that sad thing about Charlie is that despite dating Paula if Renee crooked her little finger, even knowing she's bad for him, he'd take her back in a second. I didn't clarify earlier in the story, but I am following canon sort of. Most divorced couples when the parent is out of state - give the child to the parent for the entire summer. I'm going to have Bella spending her entire summer of her childhood at Forks. She's only done the two weeks a year thing for the past two. To me NM should have been longer because their reunion was forced and rushed, and Bella took him back in a nanosecond and blamed herself for the breakup which made me want to throw the book. Let me be abundantly clear in terms of this story. Bella does not, will not, and will never romantically have feelings for Jacob Black. I'm happy that you enjoyed the chapter, I will continue on with my torture of secondary characters. :) Books

Thanks for reviewing! :)

Reviewer: morgan_taggart (Signed) · Date: January 18, 2009 03:00 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

hello again, you are still my by far favorite author on twilighted. :) so here goes my review: I thought that it was surprising that Bella wasn't that shocked that her entire house had been remodeled by someone she doesn't know all that well. it was sooooo sweet of him but wow, he is obviously falling in love, but he'll probably never admit it until its reciprocated. i am deffinetly going to miss Dream Edward, but i'm happy that Bella's no longer sick. I thought that jacob got exactly what he deserved, as you know i despise Jacob. I am going to be absoloutly heart broken when Edward leaves. :'( not looking forward to that. But i am still looking forward to the other half of the first part of the story. :) fantastic work.

-morgan



Author's Response:

Hi Morgan_Taggart! Thanks so much for your feedback! Dream Edward is not going anywhere. He's here batting his eyelashes at you blowing you kisses. I don't know if you've ever had pneumonia. I have. When you are recovering from it you just sleep. A lot. And when you aren't sleeping you are attempting to cough up a lung. Which is completely revolting if I recall. The fact that Bella even notices the changes in the room was phenomenal, and she is the type to quietly process and sit back and say nothing. So she certainly has thoughts about what has been done to her house. Since she's shy she's hanging onto those thoughts. Another thing to keep in mind that ranks just under her simply trying to recover is that she just found out that she's had a life-long disability that is permanent, that her parents lied to her about. She is absolutely on the ceiling irate and livid at both parents - which is why she has not attempted to contact either. THAT has her attention at present. That and trying to breathe. She's baffled at why the Cullens are taking care of her, but right now she's too sick and too hurt and too angry to really do much more.  I am not even started with the fun with Jacob. More fun with him will be had in upcoming chapters. I am delighted you are enjoying the story. Thanks so much for reviewing!  Books :)

 

Starched Shirt Edward is waving at your. :)

Reviewer: EmmBonn (Signed) · Date: January 18, 2009 10:50 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Eight: Something Fetid This Way Blows

Oh wow. I feel bad about Jacob and I also hate him for not being what Ephraim's decendant should be! This is addicting :)



Author's Response:

Hi there EmmBonn! Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm very glad that I made you pity and dislike him because that was my aim. You'll be learning more about the young Mr. Black at the beginning of the next chapter that helps explain him a bit more. I am glad that you find the story addicting and alas, will have to withhold your supply from you until I finish writing the next chapter. I am presently working on it. Again, I know it takes time to review and want to thank you for giving me your feedback. :)  Books

Reviewer: bellas shrink (Signed) · Date: January 17, 2009 09:32 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Eight: Something Fetid This Way Blows

I read the entire story - last night and today.
This is incredible. I love the intricate details and researching you have clearly done - it is a pleasure to read something of this quality.


As a psychologist - I thnk you have nicely captured many sides of Edward, Bella and the rest. This, although it is AU, fills in SO many issues I had with the books bc of the lack of explaination (I understand, of course, if she had gone into all the minutia the books would have been twice as long). This is a wonderful look at the depths of Edwards issues and it makes sense of the inconsistencies in the book (I know, that will sound like blasphemy to many - I do not mean to disrespect her series, just with my background there were issues that I had with said inconsistencies)


This is lovely, I can't wait for the next chapter - well done, indeed!



Author's Response:

Hi Bellas Shrink!

I'm laughing even more at your pen-name now.:) It's quite appropriate. And this is a site where all views are respected on the series. Truly. And you haven't offended me in the slightest with your take on SM - I had many, many issues as well, although I did like elements of the books.

So you'll have to PM me and tell me what you thought about the plot line in NM where (according to SM's website) Bella grows a self-esteem while experiencing what appeared to be a severe bout of clinical depression, PTSD, auditory hallucinations, and suicidal tendencies (or at the very least risk taking behavior). On her web site, SM argues that during all of that Bella not only grew a self-esteem but truly fell in love with Jacob Black. Which made me snort. A lot. I enjoyed the beginning of Twilight with the banter between Edward and Bella and many elements of the other books (save of course for BD with that whole pedophilia glorification). I respect everyone's right to, of course, adore all of the books and disagree with me wholeheartedly.

I'm trying to show Edward as someone who because he has never faced up to what he has done in Chicago has built intricate layers of denial upon denial. I don't think, and this was a big issue I had with the book, that you can undo 75 years of self-loathing because Bella Swan is in mortal danger or bats her doe-like eyes at you. So in my AU verse, I am trying to take on some of the issues of the Twilight Saga: that whole pesky soul issue, why he didn't want to change her (my explanation is quite different), how they fell in love, why she doubted his love, why he doubted hers...why the wolves and vamps hated each other...what made Bella special...using an entirely different plot line (hope, hope) but some of the same elements. The characters start out as mostly canon but that will change with the backstory - I wanted a stronger Bella, and I wanted a more stubborn Edward who was more fleshed out in terms of his characterization. I've just tried to change things so I'm covering the same themes without re-hashing the Saga. I also wanted to use my story to explore areas of the book plots that I considered undeveloped. I loved the idea of this lonely vampire cut off from humanity having to re-experience emotions all over again. To me the way that SM has conceptualized vampires is interesting on some levels. By losing their human memories, I argue, they lose their schema, and therefore, Edward really wouldn't know what love is when he meets Bella because he doesn't remember it. He's learned to love his family as much as he'll permit himself. But since he has no frame of reference for many emotions (such as romantic love) he wouldn't recognize it if it bit him on the backside. I also wanted to show how just because he can read minds doesn't mean he understands what is occurring with that person (Lee, for example - had thoughts that were so chaotic Edward took a bit longer than normal to ascertain what had happened). Alice is not omnipotent and I'm not making her controlling of Edward's sex life (ew).

I was interested in the sexual dynamic that SM portrayed of Bella not respecting the boundaries that Edward had established in order to keep her alive and him having to be the "parent" in the relationship, and her ended up feeling rejected. Because they aren't communicating (and won't be for a while) things will of course spin out of control. I was also interested in "control" and the power dynamics in the relationship. SM romanticizes stalking so I wanted to play with that theme here.

I tried to show Edward in the Bonkers chapter as being so much in guilt over the unfortunate inadvertant venom leakage and denial that he all but breaks into a bout of OCD, and what amused me is that to characterize that I just used a hand-out from the EPA on what you should do to allergy proof your home. Simply following governmental regulations (as well as a few studies) makes him come across as unhinged (aside from that whole sound-proofing thing). He also probably comes across as suffering from DID, although I'm just using self-talk as a frame of reference. To me the predator (who shall soon gain a name) is the voice of the vampire urging him to give in to his instincts. Starched Shirt Edward comprises his conscience but also a mirror because he's the Edward before the transition, the highly religious naive young man who still hangs onto hope that he can get to heaven.  I'd love your feedback on whether or not I'm pulling that off convincingly from your perspective - particularly the denial part - because I argue he should be in it far longer than others might expect. So I've been having so much fun playing around in his mind that we will be there even when this story arc concludes and the back end of the narrative picks up. We will of course hear from the other characters as well, but the majority of the rest of the story will be Edward.

My original plan was for the heart of darkness arc to be short and I realized as I had written it that I was throwing so much at people so fast that I just ended up writing more. I've stopped making promises on how long this story will be, but I am promising that once the arc of Bella and Edward's backstory is done we'll leap right back into the thriftway discussion. If I do it right, as Edward is walking up the stairs to talk to her, you'll have an entirely different perspective on why they aren't communicating and what he and she both have to face. (hope, hope)

Thanks so much for your reviews - they made my day. I have a thread for this story when I'm not writing excessively long stalker-like author notes to kind reviewers on the AU forum. Please stop by and visit.

Best,

Books :)

Reviewer: lovely_penguin (Signed) · Date: January 17, 2009 07:52 AM · On: Chapter 3: Propositions and Practice

Is it wrong to find Mike'a pain so hilarious?  :)  Can't wait to read about Bella's homework.



Author's Response:

Hi There Lovely_Penguin, If you like mike suffering I'm the girl for you. I love, love, love putting Mike in humiliating situations and will continue to do so every chance I can. I should warn you that I interrupt the story in a few chapters by telling the story behind the story. You'll see one homework assignment and learn that she as another and then I have Edward having a flashback and thinking about their relationship which explains the real reason he's so hesitant to have sex, the real reason why Jacob is trying to stop the wedding, the reason the Volturi are showing up to a human wedding, etc. And I should warn you the section is long and I'm not done with it yet. Once I'm done with it, the story will pick up right where it left off and you will, if I pull this off right, have a different interpretation of elements in the front end. (fingers crossed). The first Heart of Darkness chapter will be dark and things will get lighter and funnier from there. So just wanted to give you a heads up so you don't get whiplash. But I torture Mike throughout the story and particularly in the Heart of Darkness arc. Promise.

Thanks so much for your review and I'm delighted you are enjoying the story. I had a lot of fun with the chapters. :) Books

Reviewer: bellas shrink (Signed) · Date: January 16, 2009 08:24 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Two - Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know

mesmerizing...all of it



Author's Response:

Wow!!! Thanks Bellas Shrink, you just made my day! I really had fun with that chapter, and I have a particular fondness, I must admit for that last line. I appreciate the feedback as I know reviews take time to do. Dream Edward is blowing kisses at you over Starched Shirt Edward's shoulder.

 

Best,

 

Books :)

Reviewer: bellas shrink (Signed) · Date: January 16, 2009 12:23 PM · On: Chapter 5: Indecent Exposure at the Thriftway on Aisle Three: Shameless Hussy Part Two

OMG OMG OMG
I am still howling - I laughed out loud during the door scene with Charlie ! OMG - good thing E doesn't have a heart or a human brain - he would have either had an MI or a Stroke for sure! ROFLMAO!!!!!



Author's Response:

Thanks so much Bellas Shrink!

I had so much fun with the teasing him about his virginity part. You will find out just why that is so funny in a few chapters.

I adore putting Edward in mortifying situations and will continue to do so, and Bella, and of course Mike Newton. And Charlie is just so clueless but he tries, bless his heart. And the mere idea of him thinking the Cullens are strippers - with Jasper's pouty lips - just too funny.

Glad you enjoyed it. The next sections are going to have humor it'll just be a different type.

Best,

Books :)

Reviewer: bellas shrink (Signed) · Date: January 16, 2009 10:19 AM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part Two

Wow...that Tanya. OMG! LOL



Author's Response:

I'm glad you are enjoying Tanya. She started out as a bit character and I just fell in love with her. I felt like she was just too much fun to only have in one or two scenes. So she will be a big part of this story but at the beginning and at the end.

And I liked portraying her as a sex therapist with her own issues. In my mind she just can't get over that Edward doesn't want her and is forced to do so in this story because of scheming on Edward's part. And I love how unapologetic she is about her behavior. :)

 

Thanks for your review!

 

Books :)

Reviewer: bellas shrink (Signed) · Date: January 16, 2009 09:38 AM · On: Chapter 1 - Tanya and the Bachelor Party Bet

This is great! I can't wait for the rest of it! I LOVE Bella this way - she is SO strong and confident. Way to treat the lady!

 

Off to read the next chapter...



Author's Response:

Hi there Bella's Shrink, that is a hilarious pen-name that I am now officially jealous of....drat.....:)

I am so happy that you are liking Bella this way. I wanted to make her stronger than book Bella. I just want to give you a heads up so you don't get whiplash that starting on the chapters that are called Heart of Darkness we are going to get into Edward's backstory - and it will be a long backstory but it is going to show you the story behind the section that you are reading right now. It will show you how they fell in love (I'm doing an AU version - not spitting the book back at you) and it will show you how both of them came to be where they are at the beginning of the story. Once I'm done with that we will pick up with the rest of the story. Some of it will be dark but there will be lots of humor in it as well. And my goal is to show you HOW she became strong and confident and why...My goal is to show you why she's in a dynamic with Edward where she pushes his limits sexually and he pulls back and she feels rejected..My goal is to also show you in that section that the couple really has not been communicating on some key issues....why Jacob is so single minded about her at the beginning of the story....and some other fun stuff. So thanks for reviewing...there's some Mike Newton fun up ahead that I hope you enjoy.

 

Best,  Books :)

Reviewer: xxIsabellaCullenxx (Signed) · Date: January 15, 2009 11:27 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Eight: Something Fetid This Way Blows

I love this fic, and I absolutely love all this Edward POV about the beginning of everything. Can't wait for the next chap.

PS: I just have one question, I was wondering if you're gonna continue the story in this way (EPOV), or are you going to retrieve at some point to the original timeline with the whole Bella thing with the Denali sisters and the whole seduction-bet thing?



Author's Response:

Hi there xxIsabellaCullenxx! Thanks so much for your review. You can ask as many questions as you like...I may not be able to answer some for plot purposes but I'll always answer the ones I can. :) And this one I can. We will be in Edward's point of view for most of the rest of the story. We will have moment where we will switch to other characters when the back arc of the story picks up, but for the most part it's Edward all along. We will be hearing from Bella from time to time mind you...the seduction part wouldn't be nearly as funny without her input. But Edward narrates the entire honeymoon. And of course we will finish the whole betting part of the story. The entire purpose for this section is to set up the "real story" of what is behind all the behavior in the front end of the story. For example, Edward never told Bella about what happened in her bedroom with the unfortunate incident of inadvertent venom leakage. So when she pressures him for more sexual contact, it presses all of his buttons and freaks him out and she ends up feeling rejected (and we haven't even finished that explanation yet- there's more to it.) In the something fetid chapter - you learn part of the reason why the wolves (and Jacob) hate the Cullens, you'll learn more about why Jacob's family in particular hates them and wants to stop the wedding very soon. So if I do this right the backstory will set up the rest of the wedding and the bets and make them take on new meaning. Thanks so much for reviewing and for reading the story. Best, Books :)

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