Love it! I love the banter between Starched Shirt Edward and Jugurtha. I'm hoping for more Bella and Edward, though. Can't wait for the next chapter!!!!

Author's Response:

Hi there witchykitty! Thanks so much for your review! I can definitely promise you that next chapter starts right off with Edward and Bella in bed talking. You will most definitely see more of them as now that she's awake and now that she's better (or getting there) Edward is now going to have to face the very unpleasant reality that quality singer pressed against his flesh time is difficult to recreate once she goes back to her Father's house. And he's going to find that highly unfair. The world plots against our favorite clueless vampire. How can he convince his Fake Girlfriend that he rarely speaks to unless under extenuating circumstances that she should allow him into her bed every night at her father's house? Flowers? Chocolate? Scratch Chocolate, he's already banned that from her diet....

 

I've been having so much fun with the banter with SSE and Jugurtha. You will most definitely see more of that in future chapters as well. Particularly since Edward is so clueless right now.

I'll try to have the next chapter posted by the weekend but this week is crazy busy at work. But I'll try. :) Thanks so much for your feedback. I've posted some spoilers for the story on the thread on the AU forum. Best, Books :)

I love this story --- I love Edward's "modest" take on the precautions that he is taking to help Bella and her allergies. I love Starched Shirt Edward and his religious musings (I am a Catholic church organist and the line where they should sing the "let all mortal flesh keep silence" actually had me in tears from laughing so hard) and I just love the way the story flows. Great job, I am enjoying this immensely!

Author's Response:

Hi there Eidelweiss!

Thanks so much for your review. You are the only person who got the "let all mortal flesh take silence" joke. You win at life!

I always found that song to be particularly dreary. So of course, I had to use it. I wanted Edward to be highly religious and picked Catholicism because I am. I didn't feel comfortable writing jokes about another religion, you know? And I know enough about Catholicism and canon law that I feel I can comfortably include it in the story. You'll find plenty of Catholic debates coming up in the next few chapters. SSE is most definitely going to have a loud voice.

I wrote Edward's reaction in Bonkers that way in order to show how he feels so guilty at almost having a) slipped and b) had sex with a sick vulnerable unconscious female that he literally destroys and rebuilds the scene of the crime. He's not in a mind frame where he's willing to admit that HE is a danger to her. No, instead it's fungii and dust mites that must be destroyed. And his plan to eradicate animals....? Competely sick and St. Francis would roll over in his grave, but I wanted to use it to show just how amoral he is and ruthless in terms of seeing to his singer's comfort whether she wants him to or not is irrelevant. What I'm trying to get across in these chapters is how you see Edward move from the guy who saves Bella's life and bruises her face in the process deliberately to keep their secret.....to the guy who is ever so slowly falling in love with her.

:) Books

All hells broke loose now lol. Wonder what else Bella knows... Great job!! Cant wait for more!

Author's Response:

Hi there blue2185,

I am already working on the next chapter. Thanks so much for your review and support of this story. :) Books

so i really am likeing this whole unique back story that we missed in the first place...it's really original, but its hard seeing Edward as SO repressed and SO jittery. In character, though...

are there many more chapters of "Heart of Darkness"? I'm literally dying for the wedding and honeymoon !

Alyssa Cullen

Author's Response:

Hi there Alyssa Cullen! Thanks so much for your review!

Honestly, I'm not predicting how many chapters because the way that I write, I have this large file that has about over 300 pages in it right now. I carve off a section and start checking it to make sure it flows with the plot lines that I've establish and then tweak it a bit here and there and maybe expand a section or two. So it still follows the outline but it could expand. I had one section, for example that ended up being divided into six chapters. What I can say is that we will have several more chapters in the HOD arc. I don't want to put an exact number in case I expand a section cause that might leave everyone confused or worse, thinking I'm jerking them around.

 

What I can say is by the time we reach the honeymoon that will be in the tail arc of the story. And we will indeed have quite some time devoted to the honeymoon. But I have to finish explaining to you how they fell in love and stumbled upon the way or thte honeymoon won't make sense. :) Books

I have never laughed so much at fan-fiction as I did at the end of this chapter. Brilliant!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much Hollywood_678! I'd delighted you liked the chapter. I'm partial to the second and third parts of that particular section so I do hope you enjoy those as well. I wanted to give you a heads up that starting in chapter 8 the backstory of Edward and Bella will start and it's from EPOV and the tone is a bit dark at first. Give it a shot and it lightens up considerably as the chapters progress. Because I have lots more humor in this story. Dark humor mind you, but hey, I love torturing secondary Twilight characters. :) Books

I am so loving the beatdown that Alice did on the boys.  So deserved and I hope they remember this in the future when teasing opportunities arise.  He's got way too much going on to have to endure that too!  It was just nice to see the love that Alice has for her brother.  I look forward to Edward's revenge - I think honestly that everyone will be so surprised to see Edward exacting revenge (and in some cases pleased) that it may just wipe out the actual revenge with shock. I would love to see more interaction between Edward and his family, it's just lovely to see.

Hezekiah seems to be really warming up to Edward.  Which is good.  I really liked knowing why Edward's gifts have grown so much.  It was niggling at me.

I just feel so badly for Edward.  He wants so badly to be human for Bella.  All his power, and all his gifts, but that is one thing that is out of his reach.

Author's Response:

I have the next chapter written I'm just editing it right now, and I can quite confidently tell you that it starts out with Edward toying with his brothers. He will most definitely get revenge but not in a "hack your arm off and feed it to you" kind of way. Keep in mind this: Edward has to get revenge on them in a way that does not undermine his "I'm so shy" identity he's worked so hard to create. And Edward is pretty angry - so Edward is more likely to stretch out his attempts to get back at them. Over time. And I think you will most definitely love what he does when you read all of it. I think it'll take a few chapter to get ALL of it down but the next one starts with his initial attack. That whole forgive and forget thing? That's for amateurs.

I'm glad you liked Alice - I was worried I made her overbearing. I also found it ironic that in keeping her word to Edward she put her entire family at risk. He really could have killed everyone and she had no way of knowing that he wouldn't because her powers aren't working reliably on him given that he has those wolf powers in him.

I do like Hezekiah and I wanted to create someone that Edward could confide in comfortably that wasn't Carlisle because that's too predictable. To me the whole gift thing hs two explanations. In Canon they did say that gifts can become more powerful as time progresses - so I thought - why not Edward? And to me the whole quileute power took that growth spurt (they already had grown significantly at the time he received the power - he could hear about 20 miles away rather than just in the room and he could block Jasper and Alice. So the Quileute power when he got them took what he already had an made it stronger and he had no idea.

I think at this point you see two things in Edward. He has always wanted to be human from the second he woke up. Not for anyone but just for him. And he's nursed that pain quietly for over 100 years never complaining to anyone once he was out of his newborn years. Meeting Bella is so painful for him because now he's met someone that he fantasizes about being human WITH and he doens't have the social skills to start a relationship with her. He's kind of like the Phantom of the Opera in high school. And the Quileute powers are in a way a kind of torture - they give him bits and pieces of his humanity back and then they stop every day. And holding onto her is the only thing that gets him through it because, again, his family has no idea. His Mother framed it, to me in a way that was so ironic. She said that she couldn't imagine losing her immortal identity. To her the heartbeat starting meant that Edward could "die" as a vampire and she was and still is terrified her son is going to die. That's why she is so livid at Jasper and Emmett. And they "get" why she's mad. She lost her baby David. And she just subtly reminded them that she knows what it is to lose a child.

As ever Sheeijan, thanks so much for your kind words and thoughtful review. You made my day. :) Books

Deep tissue massage? Believe it or not, that's what I do for a living. Or did. Stay at home mom now. Tell him I'd be happy to help. Physically.

 

~Mia

Author's Response:

Now that's funny. I had my first one a few weeks ago and am hooked for life. I have a friend who went to massage school and set up a studio in her home. She works out of there now. Edward said he's definitely taking you up on the offer. SSE even agreed. Jugurtha is doing the happy dance. :)  Books

I've yet to hear such experiments done in the name of research and science. Only YOUR Edward Cullen would consider masturbation as research for his "Fake Girlfriend", all the while considering her also as his intended.  For some odd reason (perhaps this makes me truly perverse) I found Scientific Edward very amusing in his... er... trials.  Poor SSE will need more than just a few weeks at the prayer bench.

Favorite line:
"By Jove, if Fantasy me could talk my bride out of her panties, then asking her out on a romantic excursion should be simple."

Author's Response:

I'm glad you found him funny because that's what I aimed for as odd as that sounds. I wanted it to be funny and sad with a bit of repressed sexy thrown in there. And Poor SSE is beside himself. What I found hilarious is that he's probably more upset about this than Edward murdering people. And what has SSE even more beside himself is that Edward's orgasm really was his. So HE sinned too. He's going to pray his little knees off for weeks in mortification before the icon.

And I'm glad you liked that line. To me, when someone fantasizes they aren't always linear. And I wanted to show that his mind is jumping from scene to scene in a way that doesn't quite flow because he's having a hard time talking himself into the act. He has to imagine Bella as his wife with a ring, then he has to think of that infamous day and start re-remembering all the things he wouldn't allow himself to think about since he was so mortified that he nearly killed her. And I thought him giving himself permission to re-think about that day was kind of ironic. And to me what cracked me up is that he's still trying to figure out how to ask her out and even THAT issue is consuming him in his fantasy life.

Thanks so much for the review and I still am totally staring at my banner in love with what you did with it. :)

Books

Fanfreakintastic!  First of all, thanks for the pops.  Second of all, thanks for being one of the best writers out there.  Anywhere.  Period.  Third,  I cried, I squirmed, then immediately laughed in this chapter.  To go from "How have you helped her back in return?" (sniff, sniff), to "I'm setting the pace this time" (grrrrr), to a pissed off squirrel bouncing an acorn off his head?  Amazing. 

Gutwrenching + Totally Hot + Hilarious = Books.

Author's Response:

Hi there June! Thanks so much for your review. It seriously made my day. I'm always floored that people like what I write because when I first started posting I thought I'd be the only one reading it. :)

I sat on this chapter for a few weeks because I was worried that I didn't have the right emotional tone. And I'm glad I did, because the racoon and the birds came to me later. I usually put humor in last. And SSE screaming about the nuns and going blind - that went in last. So waiting ended up working for me. To me what was so hard was capturing exactly what you described. I wanted to make people laugh, and I wanted to humanize Edward so they saw just how much he suffered, and somehow throw in making it kind of hot. To me Edward is so repressed and the very idea of doing something so forbidden, so naughty, so demeaning...so teenage human male...he had to come up with a reason to do it (only if she's wearing his ring)- and he really did have a good one. He needed to find out if he really would kill Bella if he was aroused. So I wanted to capture that sensation he has of actually doing the deed followed by his despair and genuine fear, and I didn't want to end on a downer so I had the denial kick right back in to show that he really is living in this elaborate little world that he's made where for all intents and purposes he's trying to be the perfect child to Carlisle and Esme and trying to be the Perfect Fake Boyfriend to Bella and at the same time trying to keep the two realities that exist Real Me vs. Fake Me from colliding.

And I thought to myself that I wanted to show how Alice even when she's doing the "right" thing in defending Edward to her mate, still is kind of murky. She's lying to the entire family by omission in keeping her word to Edward. And since her powers aren't quite working right on Edward in terms of reading him in regards to his Quileute powers she has no way of knowing if she's doing something that will not end up in tragedy. She really is putting her faith in him that he won't kill the entire family or Bella. And to me that was kind of a big deal. Alice in keeping her word put everyone at risk without knowing what would happen. That's how much of a leap of faith she took to show Edward she believes in him. And Edward most definitely knows it.

And I had to have Esme and Carlisle in on the bloodbath. To me they are parents. And Parents correct their kids when they mess up. And Emmett and Jasper aren't perfect and certainly messed up here. In the next chapter you'll (I hope) be entertained in seeing the punishments that Esme decides the boys need.

Again, thanks for your review, and I love that you "got" what I was trying to communicate. :) Books

ahh this is pretty good!
the only thing that annoys me is jasper. he should really have faith in them, and not try and put any tricks like that.. that'll ruin there honey moon fer sure

Author's Response:

Hi there mellovesyou!

Thanks so much for your review. I don't think that this is an issue of Jasper not having faith in Edward. At this point in the story though Jasper is telling Edward about his *own* sexual experience with human women. And based on his own experience, he hurt many of them without meaning to, and he even killed a few because of the strength differential and blood lust. To me, given that Edward has absolutely no sexual experience and plans on having his first with Bella on their wedding night and has not been "practicing" in any way - Jasper is understandably concerned. And he's trying to be a good brother to Edward because he genuinely is worried that Edward could drink Bella dry.

 

In this case, he really is not trying to play a trick on his brother. I differ from canon in that to me blood lust is instinctual and I don't think it's a "mind over matter" issue. I don't think you can ever decide if you need water to survive that you aren't going to be able to convince your body that you don't need it - I do think you might be able to find substitutes that allow you to live - as they have with animal blood, but they have said all along that it takes the edge off the thirst but it never really goes away.

I think that to me what made Edward and Bella's relationship so interesting was the sacrifice that was involved in it. He lusted for her blood and yet he loved her more. To me if you make the blood lust magically disappear, you rip away Edward's sacrifice - and frankly to me it was too easy. So the way I frame it is that Edward really could have killed Bella and that this is not Jasper trying to mess with him. Carlisle wouldn't have allowed that to happen - and Carlisle is agreeing with Jasper as is Emmett. If you read on to the Heart of Darkness Arc you'll see more about what is motivating everyone in the story. Thanks so much for your review and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. :) Books

I don't think I really can tell you just how much I love this story.

I LOOOOOOOVE this story.

Your Edward is hands down my favorite in all of Fan Fiction.

You had me hysterical through this chapter, seriously tears in my eyes, hysterical.

I want to say please update soon, please give me more, I wait your updates with baited breath, please, please please I need more - BUT - I can't do that to you.

A) I know that is annoying as hell when you just post a new chapter

and

B) Every single chapter is well worth the wait, no matter how impatient I may be.

So whenever you're ready with a new one, I'll be right here bouncing around in excitement ready to snatch the pages from you hands.

I swear this will be one of the very few stories (in the company of Wide Awake, mind you) that I will be printing out to re-read when it is completed.

Really, just fabulous. Thank you so much for writing it!

Author's Response:

Oh MonksMama Thank you so much! You're making me misty-eyed here. Seriously. :) I'm so glad that you like this Edward. I'm partial to Oxy's Edward on Innocent Vigilant Ordinary - but I like my Edward too. I'm so glad that I made you laugh in this chapter. I was trying to make it an emotional mix and wanted it to be funny, sexy, naughty, and sad all at the same time. And that's a hard mix to write which is why I literally sat on the chapter for a few weeks. IT does not bother me when you say please update soon. :) Seriously. And I'd delighted that you feel like after you've read a chapter that it was worth the wait. THAT is feedback that really helps me. I don't know about you, but given that I make the chapters pretty long - if I were a reader and read that amount of verbage and at the end thought, "that's it?" I'd be mad. I'd be mad that I spent that amount of my time that I felt I wasted. That's the risk of posting long chapters. So I always try to make sure I get a lot accomplished, and I don't think I could write filler if I tried. Every single line has something to do with the overall plot. Stop by the thread some time and say hi if you can I post spoilers on it. :) Books

awsome!!! i so look forward 2 the next chapter !!! luv this fanfic!!!!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much oncebitten (awesome pen name there)!

I am working on the next chapter as we speak. I promise to get it posted as soon as I can. I have posted a spoiler on the thread to sate your appetite. :) Books

Books--

First of all, the fact that my (pen)name was mentioned in your A/N, and that the chapter might even be partialy dedicated to me...I have no words for how special that makes me feel. Thankyou!

Now, on to some of what I considered highlights of this chapter:

--Edward "monitoring his family's mental hygiene", I LOVE his justifications.

--Mary Alice letting loose with the wrath. She made me feel guilty and I didn't even do anything!

--Jugurtha, SSE and Edward high-fiving..what I wouldn't give to see that.

--Edward knowing about a sale at Victoria Secret...lol

--76 second turnaround..very impressive!

I am very curious about what kind of revenge Edward is planning, it will be interesting to see that play out. Also, I am having trouble remembering what all Bella knows right now. She knows that Edward is her fake-boyfriend, right? But he hasn't asked her out on a date or anything yet, and she doesn't know that he has romantic feelings...right?

Oh, and the last line

"No matter what I had to sacrifice to achieve that result I was going to marry my Fake Girlfriend if it killed me. Really."

that is epic win. I want it on a t-shirt!

>>Stacy

Author's Response:

Hi Stacy! The chapter was indeed partially dedicated to you. Your reviews in the last chapter and your posts on the thread have been incredibly helpful with the writing. SSE is praying for you right now, wiping away a tear of joy at your kindness in allowing him to accompany you to mass. He's yanking on my sleeve asking if you will allow him to have the honor of accompanying you on another Sunday.

I love Edward's rationalizations as well. He's been spying on them for years because he's afraid his family will want to kick him out and he excuses his spying as simply mentally preparing himself for when that day arrives. Also, what he leaves unsaid is that if they talk about him, then he knows how to modify his behavior if a problem arises. He's been playing the role of they shy painfully quiet brother for 75 years. I'm glad you liked Mary Alice going all bonkers on her husband. I wanted to show the irony that she loves her husband and she's protecting HIS privacy while trying to protect Edward's privacy and - and this is mean - lying to the entire family about Edward. Edward could have killed Bella in more ways that one. And had Jasper known about the earth shaking glass shattering Edward turning into a whirlwind of destruction while orgasming then he never would have done what he did. And Alice gave her word to Edward she would never tell. So she keeps it in the only way she knows how, by making a public scene which is NOT Alice's style. In a strange way, Alice in protecting Edward also risked Bella's life and that of everyone in the family. Had Edward lost control for all she knows he really could have killed them all. So Alice's behavior is a really big deal.

Edward wanted to buy her more clothing and was going online and I had to throw in the line about the underwear because that just seems like a girly thing to say - and yet a guy thing to think in terms of bargains.

In terms of Bella - she's been out cold for most of the HOD or ignoring Edward. You don't really know what she thinks about Edward because this is from EPOV. What you DO know is that he used the Jacob is dangerous card to get her to agree to be his Fake Girlfriend. Edward did so because he was afraid if he really asked her out that she would reject him. And in his mind asking her to be his Fake Girlfriend wasn't lying to her. He was being honest. He didn't have to pretend to have feelings that he didn't have since he is, after all, only attracted to her scent. Now bit by bit you are starting to see his world unravel. He wants to make the Fake Girlfriend his Real Girlfriend so that he can have her around more and will be socially accepted as a couple and others will not flirt with her - but he doesn't have the social skills to know how to do that. And look at it from Bella's point of view. She nearly died, Edward has been playing chess with her for a few weeks and all of a sudden he saves her life (again) and his family is waiting on her hand and foot (and she is independent and hates being the center of attention but literally is too weak to take care of herself) and she just found out that her mom and dad have been lying to her for her entire life about her diability. She is so mad right now at her parents and she is so mad at herself for not figuring it out she can't see straight. Edward crying at the end of Heartbeats and Lullabies brought her out of that - although she's still livid. She also is worried that the Clearwaters - who for all intents and purposes took over as her family after her Grandparents and Greatuncle died - were in on it. And if you were Bella, who has never had a boyfriend, and has never had a guy pay attention to her romantically and someone asked you to be their Fake Girlfriend rather than the real thing - how would you interpret it?

Glad you liked the last line. I'm going to be having lots of fun with the whole Fake vs. Real thing in the next chapters