yay

Author's Response:

I'm delighted you are happy. :) Books

Oh My Stars...what a great chapter! Poor Edward, going through singer withdrawl. At least they have their naps now. You write them so well, I can just see them snuggled up in bed. Makes me want to take a nap too.

I think Starched Shirt Edward should know that I never wear fragrance. I think he will like that.

I'm confused about a couple things, mostly to do with who exactly Jacob's parents are. Have I missed something?

Author's Response:

When Charlie confronted Paula about what the heck was going on once they were back in town, she told him that Billy wanted another son, because he considered Jacob to be a replacement son. She told Charlie that Jacob was not Billy's biological child - he was the result of an affair. Jacob's Mother "committed suicide" and his birth father died in a single car accident not long after his birth. Starched Shirt Edward would indeed be delighted to know that you do not wear perfume. :)

Any other questions you have that I can answer I'd be delighted to address them on the thread. :)

I'm glad you liked the chapter, I had fun writing how desperate Edward was becoming. And my heart kind of tugged at the image of him sitting on the floor by her bed cuddling with her hand since he couldn't bring himself to crawl into bed with her without her consent. He's growing, the man is. Thanks, as ever for your review and your support of the story.  :)  Books

i can't tell you how much i love this story.  i love starched shirt edward and all the moral yammering.

 

and... torture by flat iron!  your wit slays me every time.

Author's Response:

Hi there fato_profugus!

Thanks so much! I've been having so much fun with poor Edward's head. And I loved the idea of having him freak out about flat ironing and hair products in general. It never made sense to me that in the books she would used scented products and he wouldn't freak out so I had to figure out a way to make fun of that. Starched Shirt Edward wants me to tell you that he appreciates your appreciation of him and that he's offering a prayer to Our Lady of Lourdes on your behalf.

Best,

Books :)

Just finished chapter 17. I wish I could stay up to read the rest (darn work). You deserve an writers award for this one!

And I missed our chess games. After all, she was one of the few who actually could beat me. That alone made her remarkable. I couldn't lose my favorite playing partner. I had strategies to teach her. LOL!!!!

Author's Response:

Oh my dear hc4metal, thanks so much for the review. And, uh, just so you know. I went a little buck wild crazy on some chapters in terms of length. Heartbeats and Lullabies is if memory serves around 80 pages. And some of the subsequent ones after that are about that length, too. Edward has a lot on his mind, poor lad. He feels the need to get it off his chest. :) So I think I can keep you occupied for a little while, an hour or two perhaps?

I had a tremendous amound of fun writing this chapter. Edward feels terribly guilty for what shall forever be known as the unfortunate incident (very Victorian of him I must say) of inadvertent venom leakage where he nearly killed his beloved singer during his revolutionary attempt at a new form of therapy for high fevers. So to deal with his guilt, he decides to focus instead on saving her from dust mites and fungii. He's considerate like that. And I had so much fun showing Emmett and him in the house with Emmett lecturing him about windows and insulation. So I got a little carried away with the research and Edward thought it highly entertaining that all I had to do was follow the outline for how to de-allergy your house produced by the EPA in order to make him sound like he was in the throes of OCD. I wanted to poke fun at that controlling side of him that SM wrote about with a wee bit of satire.

I mean seriously, what girl doesn't dream of having her wedding dress that her mother has absentmindedly saved for her thrown in the garbage by a committee of vampire voices who decide it's tacky? Bella has amazing luck.

Thanks again for the review and I hope you continue to enjoy my take on Edward. I find him so entertaining, and I'm having so much fun writing about him, it really should be illegal in three states.

:)

 

Books

 

hey! i just noticed this chapter is partly to me you're the best. i hope poor bella gets better soon..all she does is cough and sleep! imagine how what effect she'll have on edward when she can stay awake! i'm dying to know about the necklace.. oh and i've smelled what a flat iron can do to hair!lol

 

alright back to waiting patiently..i try to fill the void with other fan fiction and there are some good ones but i have yet to find an author that compares to you.

Author's Response:

 

Hey Redsoxlove!

I always dedicated chapters to reviewers who make me laugh or give me feedback that I find helpful in writing. You do both so that was a no-brainer. :)

Actually, I've never smelled singed hair or anything when they use it on me, but I had such fine hair it's not like it takes long. But I was thinking the other day while taking a shower as I stared at all the goop I put on myself - shampoo, conditioner, sun protectant for the hair.....and thought about how all of those would smell to Edward. Not that I think he's in the next room, mind you.

I just thought to a vampire's senses that it would probably not smell so good and when you add heat into the equation that would intensify it, and I know that some people fry their hair with curling/flat irons. And I most definitely know the smell of burning hair is pretty repulsive and wondered what that would be factored in as well - we might not smell it but I bet he would. And I had to continue the whole Spanish Inquisition torture routine some way and to me Edward would see a flat iron as one step removed from a red-hot poker being used on his poor little one. For that matter he probably wouldn't like a hair dryer much either. To me, the refined sense of smell leaves such hilarious room for gags. That's why I always thought her using strawberry shampoo and Edward not complaining about it seemed a little off. Her scent is the most glorious thing in the world. To me, perfume of any kind would be like pouring gasoline on her. Bella's been coughing and wheezing for half of the story. I thought it was about time I gave an answer to that issue rather than have people sit around and think she's just simply weak. There's a reason......

And thanks so much for the compliment! Innocent Vigilant Ordinary is one of my favorites by OxyMoronic8, Hiding in Plain Sight by Limona, too. There's an author who just started posting on Twilighted.net - I should say more chapters are posted on ff.net (not the full story), and I've been beta-ing for her last couple of chapters and she's good. The story is All Around Me and the author is Stressed_as_Always - It's an AU NM piece that is a who-dun-it. Let's see, anything by vjgm is excellent, but her Parenting Skills 101 makes me laugh until tears roll down my face. When you're done with those, come back and I'll feed your addiction. My chapter is with my beta at present and silly me, I have her Mother's day off. What was I thinking? :) That and she has this pesky full-time job so I'm waiting patiently feeling really fortunate because not only is she good, but she has not murdered me for sending her 8 different versions of the same chapter in 24 hours. As soon as she gets back with me and I find out how much work needs to be done, I'll get that sucker posted ASAP. As ever, thanks so much for the review and inspiration. :) Books

ok, I bite! how much longer til the next chapter? Please make it soon, story is kind of hard to follow if chapters are issured too far apart (do you hear violins?) are they working? Rose

Author's Response:

It's with my beta and I decided, cruel wench that I am, that she deserved Mother's day off. I know. I know. Evil of me. But considering she reads eight drafts of 70 page chapters without complaint, I had to be nice once in a while. So rest assured that while she has the red pen out hacking away at my prose, I'm busy writing more. Like four chapters more. So I'll do my best to update a bit more often if she likes what I've done. :) I have posted not one, but two spoilers on the thread. :) *evil grin*

Thanks, Girls_got_bite for the motivation! I'll write faster in your honor. :) Books

NO YOU DIOD NOT LEAVE IT LIKE THAT! SOMETIMES I THINK YOU MIGHT BE EVIL..HAHA GREAT CHAPTER

Author's Response:

Hey there redsoxlove!

 

I am evil. Let's face it. But from reading the first seven chapters you know that Carlisle is intact neck and all. So there's only so much I can do with cliffhangers, you know? I am, however, hard at work on the next chapter which I'm probably going to break up because there's no way in hell I'm posting 130 pages at once. People would kill me. :)

I'm glad you are enjoying the chapter I really am having a wonderful time writing it, particularly this section of the story where I'm trying to wrap the plot threads together. Thanks so much for the review! :) Books

I just realized that this story is going to be the length of a Dostoevsky (sp?) novel, isn't it? If you need Cliff Notes it kind of tells you something.

I must say I kind of think Genevieve was ultra-cruel to Jasper. That was a HORRIBLE memory. I wanted to cry when I read it.

Charlie is just sinking further and further in my regard. About the only decent thing he's done so far is send Esme flowers as a thank you. Poor Bella. She's not stupid, she must really be hurting from the way her own father treats her so indifferently. I'd have issues too if I had that kind of father.

Edward is just so BUSY with everything going on. Thank goodness he's a vampire, I don't think he'd be able to handle all the baggage that Bella brought with her (inadvertantly as it was). Who else could protect her from scary vampire guy and power hungry Quileutes?

Thanks as always for the update!

Author's Response:

Hey there Sheeijan!

Those Russian novelists pshaw....amateurs at wordiness. I never met a word I didn't like. *snorts* Yes, the story will be long. I have I think 500 pages written that I have not posted. Just because they are written doesn't mean they'll see the light of day on Twilighted. But still. I'm a bit ambitious since this is my first fanfiction. And so far the readers have been amazingly generous in reading the story. I wanted to do something complicated that kept me on my toes that wasn't just balancing one or two plot issues. So I got a little creative. The cliff notes I kind of cringed when posting. I had several readers ask me for them, so up they went. I hope they didn't make people's eyes roll back into their head. I will be posting An's before and after every chapter from now on, and might go back and write them for the old chapters to help new readers. And I've been trying to be careful in reminding readers about old plot lines when I bring them up in a chapter.

It does indeed appear that Genevieve was rather hard on Jasper. Put yourself in her position and think about witnessing the practical joke he played on Edward. Bella is his singer. Genevieve knows that. Jasper almost got her granddaughter killed and his other family members too by playing a stupid joke when he should have known better and been working on finding a way to keep her alive. She wanted him to remember what it felt like to lose his human family so he would realize what he almost did.....again by his carelessness. THAT was Genevieve's message to Jasper and it really did sink in. Keep in mind the rest of the Cullens (save Alice and Edward) can't understand her "real" message because they don't know about the content of vision one. And I do agree it was harsh. But recall that she said to them through Bella that Jasper needed to remember. There is a method to her madness. I had a hard time writing that scene and felt that it was more reasonable to just leave it up to people's imaginations rather than be graphic. I thought Vision number one was graphic enough. Even I have limits.

Here's what you need to keep in mind about Charlie. He's emotionally sheltered himself as a way of coping with life. And he's definitely been the recipient of a wake up call this chapter. And if you check the thread, the teaser I posted just now indicates he's going to be getting another rude wake up call soon. You will see growth in Charlie. He's never going to be a perfect person or the ideal parent. He will over the course of this story, be learning some lessons. Promise. And because I don't think life solves every problem in the world nor should fiction, Renee will be staying the same self-absorbed childish person she is who loves her daughter to the best of her ability.

The way I see Charlie is that he has followed the typical pattern of half of all men in the US who have an ex-wife take the children and leave the state. Statistically speaking half of them lose touch with their children. Charlie has lost touch on an emotional level with Bella. When she lived with him during the summers he was always at work during the day because he does have a demanding job, and the only time he got to spend with her was on the weekends, which he occasionally did. But he liked seeing her play with the Clearwater kids and felt that he was being selfish in taking her away from them to do one on one things all the time (I know, silly, but he is clueless). He surrounded himself with his parents and great uncle who kind of pushed him out of the way when they saw how distant he was being with Bella. They tried to help him, he wouldn't change his behavior, so they said, "forget it," and took over parenting her during the summers when she stayed. And Charlie let them. So imagine how hard it was from his perspective knowing that his parents and uncle were disappointed in him as a father every day and still not being able to break the pattern he started. To Charlie life was easier if you looked at it squinting around the things you didn't want to see.

Edward is amazingly busy and his brain can tolerate it at this point. But remember the end of Chapter 10 of HOD when he cracked emotionally. The whole heartbeat starting and stopping really is emotionally difficult every single time. And THAT is part of why he's going to be beside himself in the upcoming chapter. When she was at the house, he could lay in her arms every morning while she slept and wait for his heart to stop, always hoping it wouldn't. Now he can't do that. Not unless he figures out a way to say, "Hey, mind if I creep in your window at night and sleep with you? I'll try not to drink you dry."

I think you'll like the way Edward decides to approach his singer's issues in the next two chapters. I really do. :)

As ever, thank so much for your review. You really do make me think a lot about what I'm doing with the plot and I value your feedback. :) Books

You could pitch for the Reds (and lord knows we could use the help) with all these curve balls you are throwing us!  This tale just keeps getting better and better.  I do have a question for you though.  I was surprised by Carlisle and Edward being related.  Are you going to delve any further with that?  It's a very interesting idea.  I could also see that once Edward takes a moment to think about the implications of it, he would get rather upset.  And by upset I mean in a very teenager/it's not fair sort of way.  Edward has been hiding and witholding for so long, but when someone tries to hide something from him, he who can read their every thought???  Am I on the right track here?

 

I just love that this story has me thinking about things like this!

Author's Response:

I actually have really good aim, I just seriously suck at catching the ball. :) I'm glad you are enjoying the story June, and thanks so much for your review. I always look forward to seeing what strikes you out of the chapters. We are hitting the part of the story where I'm trying to tie the various threads together.

 

I most definitely am not going to abandon the Carlisle and Edward connection. I wanted Edward's reaction to be muted. Think back to the beginning of Heartbeats and Lullabies when he wakes up in Bella's arms after sleeping for the first time in decades. When he sat there with Carlisle and they listened to his heart stop beating, he smiled and said he needed some air and left acting like he normally does. Inside he was screaming, while blocking anyone from reading him.

And Carlisle told him that he was waiting for Edward to remember, holding out hope that he would, while looking guilty. Carlisle took a gamble and what could be interpreted as a cold-hearted one. I wanted to show that Carlisle who is often portrayed as almost a Christ-like benevolent figure, wasn't so benevolent and wasn't so pure. It always bothered me that he turned Esme, a suicide, and Rosalie, a rape victim without their consent, Emmett, too. The, "well they're almost dead anyway and this would be a waste" line doesn't work for me. NOT when you are considering that he's a doctor who is supposed be guided by the principle of informed consent. Sorry rant over, so to make a short story long, I wanted to have a connection between them. I wanted to show that Carlisle knew about Edward's past. Here's the point I'm throwing out there for you to ponder today. What do the visions that Edward has with his family tell you about what Edward was like as a human? How is that Edward different from the Edward you meet in CC who acts painfully shy and has trouble talking he says to us because he's out of practice? If you were Carlisle and knew Edward for 3 years before he was turned and then you saw Edward now, factoring out all those pesky Quileute powers how would you think of him?

Edward says at the end of that section that he understood why Carlisle kept his silence but I do agree with you that it would have to hurt. That's why I wrote him as keeping his voice mild, his face composed. Edward does remember how hysterical he became during his newborn years and was embarassed at how disruptive he had been to Carlisle. So when Carlisle says that he knew mentioning Edward's human past would bring him pain - he really did understand that part, because the last time you really saw them talking about his human past was in HOD 1. Edward also thinks of all the secrets that he's been keeping from Carlisle about his life and thinks to himself that he can't point a finger at Carlisle because he'd be a hypocrite. Also, Edward has been recovering memories with each vision and dream that he has of his human life and Carlisle has understood that this process has been happening, he just doesn't know to what extent - so he's been holding out hope that it would all come back to Edward. And for Carlisle the game was up when he saw the ring on Benedict's finger. He held his tongue but wanted to see whether Edward would figure it out. If Edward hadn't said something soon, Carlisle would have spoken out. But Edward did make the connection. So Carlisle feels guilty yet hopeful. Does that make sense?

 

To me the thing about Edward is that he's so focused on what he can DO with his powers that it does not occur to him often that he could be wrong. Think back on that horrible night in 1940 when they showed up at the reservation to find the bodies of the Quill family. To me it would be natural to assume that Edward would know right off the mark what had happened. Lee's throughts were so confusing that he couldn't understand them. Also, someone has to be having the thoughts in order for him to read them. Carlisle literally, because he knew that it would cause Edward pain, did not think about Edward's family after Edward's last freak out about losing his memory. Ever. He did that on purpose. And yes, that takes discipline, but this is the vampire who can stay around human blood in surgery and not nibble on someone's leg so to me it was realistic that he could pull that off. If he did think about them, he blocked Edward from his thoughts. All of the family members block Edward at various times and he is not offended by it because he really does understand how intrusive his gift is.

I don't think that you are on the wrong track per se in regards to how Edward would feel. He doens't like the idea of people with-holding information from him. He doesn't like the idea of being out of control. I think to me the key to CC Edward is that he does not share his emotions really with anyone - not his real ones - until he starts hesitatingly communicating with Mary Alice. And he has that chat with his Mother in heartbeats and lullabies. And you see him in the last chapter having an emotional chat with his human mother about worrying about not being in love. But beyond that - not so much. That's why him crying on Bella was such a big deal. And he sort of told her the truth about it the next day which was an even bigger deal. He was probably more honest in that moment with her than he has been with anyone currently save Mary Alice. I hope that all makes sense. :) Books

Firstly, never have I giggled at so many quotations in my life. I loved the idea of the committee in heaven, giving Edward pointers, Roosevelt saying he would whack Edward with a big stick if he harmed Bella... classic.

Oh, you did incorporate the pearls! Awesome!

The plot just seems to thicken deeper and deeper like pea soup. I can hardly tell up from down between the scary vampire that is after Bella (or leader of said vampires), the great letter by Maliciously Yours Liam to Edward, the nasty and horrendous vision by Geneieve for Jasper (OMG on that one!).  The list could go on and on. It's jam-packed with action and intrigue.

So, I have a few questions: how could Paula be a wolf and not stink? And could that be the reason she is having trouble having a baby? And the amazing thing I liked about this particular chapter is that... Edward changed names. He calls her his singer still, yes, but also his "bottlecap". Liken to that of 'cupcake' or 'muffin'. One more thing: could Edward most likely be dreaming about courtship with his Mother because he subconsciously still seeks to please his mother and wants her advice about Bella? (Even if Mrs. Masen was dead long ago.)

Author's Response:

I did indeed incorporate the pearls my dear Mizra. Told you I would. :) I am delighted that you liked the idea of a committee. I had so much fun coming up with the members. And I loved how they kept telling Edward he was stupid and clearly needed their help. I am at the part of the story where the plot is most definitely thickening, but i am also giving answers to things so fingers crossed I can keep that up in the next few chapters. I thought the red-eyed people needed some teeth, hence the drawing.

I loved the idea of Liam being two steps ahead of Edward all this time. And his poetry made me giggle. I also loved Edward's response to it of being indignant while critiquing the poertry. Not really thinking about the meaning of the poem now is he.

The vision from Genevieve was hard to write. I also purposely left much off page because really, that was just so terrible and I thought it would be better if they could hear but not see. Jasper clearly didn't get the message the first time around the Genevieve was scarier than he was. Now he knows. But she also wanted to show him the consequences of careless actions. He killed his best friend without meaning to. And left him. And those two things combined to create the tragedy. So Genevieve is at once saying, don't mess with me. But at the same time she's reminding him that everything he does has consequences. him and the rest of the family. I think that letter will stay unopened in her safe depost box now, don't you?

I can tell you hat Paula is unscented because of a genetic mutation in the gene. It is not the reason she was having trouble conceiving, she genuinely did not want to conceive all these years and has been faking her brother out that she was trying. I had fun with the my little bottle cap line. I wanted to show him increasing in affection.

The dreams he's having are indeed visions of his past with his Mom. They really did happen. And he's learning that in life he really was intensely shy - although that hasn't hit him yet. And he's learning of all the things she did to try to help him while encourating him and telling him how proud she was of him. And bella is the reason he's having the dreams in the first place.

He most definitely wants to please Elizagbeth Masen. That's true. Hope all that made sense. Thanks for the awesome review.

 

Books :)

I have no idea how you juggle such a complex and intricate plot as well as you do without it turning into unfolloowable muck. But you do. Quite remarkably and admirably so. Thank you for this.

 

Genevieve seems a tad on the cruel and malicious side with her revenge. But I can see your reasoning for it without ever having the actual conversation.

The wolf thing is quite a twist, I must say. I'm not even going to ask the hundred and fourteen questions I have about that.

 

I have a guess that Billy might have had a hand in the bout of illness that nearly took out the Clearwater kids and Bella. After all, they are rather primary on his list of to be eliminated people.

 

~Mia

Author's Response:

I have no idea how your review showed up twice, but I didn't answer the plot part so I'll respond to that. Honestly, I have to read several chapters back before writing a new chapter to put myself into Edward mode. Also I have the worlds longest outline to follow. And I try to make sure that I have Edward remind the audience of things when I can so they remember plot points, like Benedict's ring. But it is not easy and the plot is indeed complicated and I'm hoping with fingers crossed that I can keep making it make sense in a way that is fresh. :) Thanks for the kind words about my writing. I feared posting the world's longest author's note would just make people's eyes roll back into their head. :) Books

While it is natural for me to automatically dislike Jacob I can't help but think that he is just a pawn in his fathers game.  He is just trying to follow through on what he has been brainwashed to believe for years that Bella is rightfully his and that is really all he knows.  His father seems to not know what affection really is he jus saw Jacob as a means to an end and now that that isn't going to happen he is not useful anymore and Billy can write him off.  In the end no matter how much of a jerk he is you have to feel sorry for him.

Poor Edward, I think he is finally beginning to get an inkling of just how much Bella means to him.  Granted I think he is so dependent on being able to read minds that he is completely clueless in regards to body language.  Bella seems to be throwing him some singles here but he just doesn't quite seem to grasp it.  I know he comes around eventually but it is funny to see them both fumbling along trying to get the other ones attention without bringing too much attention to themselves.

Another great chapter and so much to digest.  I'm almost fearful to see Genevieve's reaction when they unearth her.  Logically it seems to be what she wants for the truth to be uncovered but I still don't see it going over well.

Moving on to the next chapter!  Great job!

Jaime

Author's Response:

Hi there Jaime!

Thanks for reviewing! I had a friend of mine who had just a nasty divorce and her daughter had a very tough time with it because the father had rejected her. He would insist on every single second of the joint custody that the court appointed him, but he would hire a babysitter and go to work and basically never saw her. And my friend said to me that you always long for the parent that rejects you when describing her daughter. And that kind of stuck in my mind about Jacob. SM never sold me on the Jacob and Bella really loving each other on any level storyline. So I had to come up with my own explanation and mine is that Jacob doesn't love Bella - but acting like he does is the key to getting his Dad's approval. The problem with that scenario is that Billy does not love Jacob and will never love Jacob. Jacob also probably has much stronger feelings of affection for Charlie because Charlie has shown him more affection than Billy ever has. So Jake resents the heck out of Bella. He has to marry her to keep Billy happy and he's not attracted to her. He now has to share her with Charlie all year long and that irks him even more. It used to be the summers now it's all year for the foreseeable future,and since her 18th birthday is coming up now he's at wit's end because his Dad keeps insisting that his wolf gene is going to kick in at any moment and that he doesn't need to worry about courting Bella because she's a stupid woman and she'll just fall for him like that. Billy has not explained imprinting to Jacob yet - but that's what Billy thinks (or hopes) will happen. So Edward kid of ruined Jake's life in the woods that day by showing him that the wolf gene does not kick in due to the presence of vampires, and Jake has no idea what he's going to do with it never does (he thinks) because he knows his father is counting on him becoming a wolf so he can seize power of the tribe. Billy seems to think that Jake will be the only one in the tribe to become a wolf. Any way short story long, I wanted to humanize Jake, to show why he is behaving the way that he is. But I did not want to excuse his behavior (and I dont think anyone would read it as I am), but if you feel sorry for him, then I've done my job right. It still doesn't keep him from being a jerk. But I didn't want him to be a cardboard character jerk.

Edward is going to slowly start to realize how much she means to him but he's on the right path. The sleeping together started out (and still is) as purely a comforting ritual. And from poor Bella's point of view she's received so many mixed signals from Edward that she really does think that although he's affectionate with her, that he does not have romantic feelings for her. I mean, he announced in public that she was his girlfriend and then told her on more than one occasion that she was his Fake Girlfriend so he could drive Jake away from her. And he touches her but doesn't do so in a overtly sexual way. And she knows that he's been having a tough time with the anniversary of his parents' deaths so she's been trying to be supportive of him.

Genevieve might surprise you on the unearthing part. I had a lot of fun writing that section. Her main frustration is that she keeps sending them messages and they don't appear to be responding the way she wants. Let me know what you think.

And you'll kind of meet Liam and Jericho, too.

 

Books :)