Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 49

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 49

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 49
Twilighted :: All-Inclusive, High-Quality Twilight Fan Fiction






Your donations help keep this site running,
thank you very much for the support!
Reviews For Cullenary Coupling
Reviewer: fanficreader83 (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2009 02:45 AM · On: Chapter 5: Indecent Exposure at the Thriftway on Aisle Three: Shameless Hussy Part Three

that was great!  I love how tanya handled the situation (haha Mike, maybe you will actually learn something)...  your story just keeps making me laugh, but alas I must actually go to work now, can't wait to keep reading later!!!  ;)



Author's Response:

Hi there fanfictionreader83,

I know how work gets in the way. I don't know why they just cant understand we structure our work around our fanfiction habit.

:) I had load of fun with Tanya and Mike. Glad you enjoyed it. I'm not done torturing Mike, not by a long shot.

Best, Books

Reviewer: fanficreader83 (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2009 02:26 AM · On: Chapter 5: Indecent Exposure at the Thriftway on Aisle Three: Shameless Hussy Part Two

loved this chapter and the last, this site gave me issues when I tried to review last night... I loved seeing edward squirm and must say that I enjoy tanya and her antics, good thing she didn't really give charlie a heart attack!!!  ;)



Author's Response:

Giving Charlie a heart attack might have been a character building experience. We all know she would have enjoyed CPR. :)

Every once in a while the site gets cranky and decides to crash. Which makes it eat the revew you just wrote. Sorry about the technical drama. Thanks so much for your review. I've thoroughly enjoyed letting Tanya run amuck. :) Books

Reviewer: sweetness4683 (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2009 04:46 PM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part Two

Not what I was expecting, but it was still great!  Always love the Edward turned her down.  Will Edward find out that Bella was the cause?



Author's Response:

Hi there Sweetness4683,

Can't answer the Edward finding out part - as it hasn't appeared yet. I liked the idea of him telling her that she smelled. That to me was hilarious. And that she smelled like his mother. Calling Tanya matronly. Way to push all her buttons. He totally owned her in that conversation. What I can tell you is when the backstory has ended (and it's a freaking loooong back story) you'll find out the answer to your question. Swear. Best, Books

Reviewer: pclo (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2009 04:31 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty Two - "Scent"-antic Shenanigans

completely, totally spellbinding. (and you know, your summaries at the beginning/endings of the chapters are longer than entire chapters from some other authors). thanks ever so much for writing.

Author's Response:

HI there Pclo!

Thanks for reviewing! And you're totally right I'm guilty of writing the world's longest AN's. The one for this chapter was I think two pages on my computer. Although it had 1.25 margins. But still. I know that I have an extremely complicated plot. So I feel like as an author I have to help the readers out where I can without giving away the story. I'm delighted that you are enjoying this section because it's the part of the story that I've been building up to all along and I feel like a kid at the holidays holding a gift waiting for you to open it. I'll post the next installment as soon as I can. Again, thanks for your support of this story. It makes my day. :) Books

Reviewer: sweetness4683 (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2009 04:06 PM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part One

I hope Edward doesn't disappoint!  I don't want Tanya to win; I want Edward to win! 



Author's Response:

I can confidently tell you there is no adultery by E or  B in this story. Even inadvertant. :) Books

Reviewer: sweetness4683 (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2009 03:38 PM · On: Chapter 1 - Tanya and the Bachelor Party Bet

Loved the rounds with Tanya.  Awesome! 



Author's Response:

Hi there Sweetness 4683! Thanks so much! I had so much fun with Tanya. She's highly entertaining in this story - at least she is to me. She can't understand why Edward isn't into her - everyone else on the globe is. :) Best, Books

Reviewer: sweetness4683 (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2009 03:15 PM · On: Prologue: Bella, Sex, and Privacy

Sorry, I'm a little confused.  So I understand there will probably be little to no Jacob in this story.  So that part of New Moon didn't happen.  I thought maybe your story of Twilight started after chapter eight, but in the second chapter you mentioned something about James and all them.  Plus this is starting over in the wedding/honeymoon stuff.

So maybe after your seven chapters you start back off in Twilight world?

Anyway, I loved, loved, how long the first chapter was!  I love long stories.  I love the discussion between the guys and I'm looking forward to reading the rest!

 



Author's Response:

Hi Sweetness4683!

Thanks for reviewing. This is the entire Twilight Saga being redone with a different plot. There will most definitely be Jacob in this story. He comes across kind of cartoony in the first section, but I give more depth to him in the Heart of Darkness. So he will be in this story just further down the road. He won't be a main character. The purpose of the Heart of Darkness story is to make you take a second look at what I wrote in the first section. So the Heart of Darkness tells the story of how Edward and Bella came to be Edward and Bella from Edward's point of view. And if you like long chapters then I should make you do backflips. Some of mine are 24k long. :) I hope I've answered your question, but if I haven't, please feel free to PM me. Thanks for reading and thanks for your feedback.  Best, Books

Reviewer: Cullen Concession (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2009 02:44 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty Two - "Scent"-antic Shenanigans

Very interesting. I am always excited about B and E one on one!

Author's Response:

Hi there Cullen Concession!

We definitely need to get more BxE one on one time and you have my solemn promise that I'll be delivering it in this part of the story. Lots of it. Talking - really Bella talking not sock puppet talking. :)  Thanks so much for your review! Best, Books

Reviewer: Robs_Muse (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2009 02:27 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty Two - "Scent"-antic Shenanigans

This just keeps getting better and better. Thank you! I just keep devouring every chapter. Excellent writing.

Author's Response:

Hi there Robs_Muse! Thank you so much for reviewing and your kind words. :) I was a little nervous about this chapter and am happy to see it being well received. If I haven't said it lately, it really does make my day to hear from my readers - readers like you are why I keep posting this. Thanks for the encouragement. Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read my story.

This is my favorite part of the story so I'm all kinds of excited about it. I'm glad to see it transferring. :)

:) Books

Reviewer: June (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2009 02:06 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty Two - "Scent"-antic Shenanigans

The only redeeming part of having computer issues is getting back online to find not one, but two chapters of CC waiting to be devoured!  These last two chapters have been intense and stuffed full of information that I know we will be tested on later.

I loved the bathtub scene in the HOD21.  I'm glad, despite his inability to interact well with others, he is finally taking the hint an making a move, albeit a small one.  I know that's huge for him.  And I just love the "committee". 

I did wonder though, in this chapter it almost seems like Edward is getting a little cocky.  Could it be his newfound power, combined with his previous abilities, with a heaping dash of newborn wolfpire (?!?) insanity thrown on top?  In his mind only, of course.  SSE would never let hubris get the best of him.  Just a thought.  This one of my favorite parts about your characterization of Edward.  The self-loathing/everything to everyone/lord and master of all those around him internal struggle that goes on entirely in his own head.  I wonder if he is finally going to snap.  I mean REALLY snap.  I know we've seen bits and glimpses of tantrums, but I'm talking full blown nuclear meltdown.  Again, just a thought...

As always, wonderful storytelling.  Can't wait for their date.  I mean "excursion".

 



Author's Response:

Hi there June!

I adore your reviews, and I'm delighted as usual that you give me such amazing feedback. You are exactly on target about Edward which is making me positively misty-eyed. When I write, I never know if my characterization, which makes perfect sense to me of course, is getting across with the words I use. Edward is getting cocky. He's had a session with Hezekiah that in Hezekiah land time lasted the equivalent of oh maybe a month and a half where he was doing nothing but learning how to use his newfound powers. I didn't want his powers to work perfectly or consistently. To me that was too easy. Boring as well. So he's going to be struggling with them and with the symptoms.

I had so much fun with the bathtub section. I wanted to extend the unfortunate incident of inadvertant venom leakage quandry a bit. Edward was too repressed then to put her in a tub to lower her temperature. He associated that with stripping her naked. Practicality flew out the window so instead we got CC Edward-logic for his revolutionary new fever-reducing technique of therapy. So I wanted to show he'd grown by having him pick her up and stuff her in the tub. I wanted to show that Bella was not a doormat by having her on the spur of the moment yank him in with her. I liked the idea of them sitting there fully clothed in what everyone would expect to lead to physical intimacy but instead leading to a different level of intimacy. Emotional.

Hezekiah told Edward that he is the equivalent of a newborn wolf AND vampire right now along with those pesky human symptoms. That's why he's eating all the time. In my mind the newborn wolves are really easy to anger accompanied by this sense that they are 50 feet tall and bulletproof so Edward is mentally being influenced by that. Another thing to keep in mind is that boy has discipline. He thinks he's been "pretending" to be shy for so long that it's second nature to him and his skills are just rusty. In reality, Edward was painfully shy when he was a human. And to me that trait got magnified when he was turned. So here he is thinking he's being sneaky and acting for 7 decades. When instead, he's simply being himself.

Starched Shirt Edward right now is bewildered by all that has been going on. He has to perceive things to and figure out what he sees as reality in order to advise Edward. And he was deeply traumatized by our dear little one's heart stopping. He hasn't quite caught his breath from freaking out about that. He sees demons leaping out of bushes at present. And books.

And I most definitely plan on having Edward have some emotional time. I've already written it. I hope you enjoy it. Won't be for several chapters. But he most definitely will be expressing some strong emotions. Ones that make a meltdown look well, puny.

I'm writing their "excursion" at the moment. The ironic thing to me is that Edward was on his knees to ask her if he can take her to a bank. He thinks it's a date. His family thinks it's a date. Bella thinks he's doing her a favor and trying to make it up to her seeing as he made her sick and all. :) Books

I am preparing a multiple choice exam on the plot as we speak *snorts*

Starched Shirt Edward is blowing kisses at you. :)

Reviewer: oncebitten (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2009 01:05 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty Two - "Scent"-antic Shenanigans

I was so exited that you updated that i  started to squeal and dance around my kitchen , and my 1 yr old son thought it was so funny he did it to!!!! I love this story!!! startched shirt and Jagurtha are a riot!!!!



Author's Response:

Hi there oncebitten!

I am so excited that YOU are so excited that I'm squealing and dancing right along with you. :) I'm delighted to hear you are enjoying the story. We have more fun with Starched Shirt Edward and Jugurtha coming up. Swear. Thanks so much for reviewing and thanks so much for your support of this story. It means the world. Best, Books :)

Starched Shirt Edward is blowing kisses at you.

Jugurtha gave you his best leer.

Reviewer: Sunshinemommy (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2009 11:38 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty Two - "Scent"-antic Shenanigans

I am assuming the gossip is truly just that - gossip and not truth?!  Pregnant Leah would be very, very scary indeed...  I think your chapters could almost be called books unto themselves :)  Great chapter - so much information.  I love this story - it's one of my favs!



Author's Response:

Hi Sunshinemommy!

Leah really is pregnant. The next chapter will address that right away. I wanted to write her as in that obsessed phase of love teenagers get (oh like Edward and Bella are portrayed in Twilight). Sam really does love her. Sam really plans on marrying her. But Leah has been driving her family crazy because she only wants to talk Sam 24/7. I thought it would be fun to take the Book Bella and have Leah actually speak like Book Bella - that's what I'm doing there. You know how book Bella was typicaly Word Edward Adonis Perfect Word Edward Sigh? If she spoke like that everyone would think she was a) Obsessed and b) immature. And that's what folks are thinking about Leah. Leah also because she's got Sam on the brain has not been spending time with Bella. That's why Edward when he first started ahem observing her noted that she didn't get any phone calls. Leah was too wrapped up in Sam.

I thought it would be fun if I took someone in that mental state but let that someone speak it out loud. That's Leah.

I have the world's most complicated plot. I know. I've been having a blast with it. This is the part where I'm tying stuff together. And of course setting up more. Since I'm doing the entire Twilight Saga with a different plot, you can expect this to be a long story. :) But the method to my madness was to have it build slowly and then have all hell break out. We are in the all hell breaking out section and will be for quite some time.

Thanks so much for your review and feedback. It really does help. I've had people tell me that no one will continue to read this story because it's too long, too complicated, etc. I'm sure some might stop, and that is their right. It warms the cockles of my cold little writer's heart to know that I have readers that are hanging in there, that are enjoying the story. It's because of readers like you that I keep putting up chapters. :) So thank you for inspiring me. Best, Books :)

Reviewer: LJ Summers (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2009 11:25 AM · On: Chapter 5: Indecent Exposure at the Thriftway on Aisle Three: Shameless Hussy Part One

Wow, Tanya does have redeeming qualities.  Aside from her "Touching With Tanya" on primetime, of course.  Does she get a talk show? :D

 

I enjoyed this chapter very much.  You have such an edge!  And my face hurts. All my smile-muscles are getting a major workout.

 

 



Author's Response:

Hi there LJSummers!

I see Tanya's motivations as complicated. She's chasing Edward not because she loves him. The only love of her life has been Alexander. She's had in her mind all along that Edward would eventually fall for her simply because he hasn't. That bugs her. So with Edward it really is all about the chase. She genuinely likes him. But she's not in love with him at all. Not like vampires do. So in many ways, she's being rather irrational about Edward. He's hurt her pride. Edward for his part gets a secret buzz out of pretending to be oblivious and making Tanya indignant when her wiles don't work on him. I wanted to show Tanya starting out as mad, but getting a little murky. In my mind vampires play jokes on each other - humiliating ones - but they don't take them as personally as humans do. So Tanya has ever intent on playing jokes on people around her - and if it makes her look good in the process that's an added bonus. In this story, Tanya will eventually really get along with Bella.

I'm glad you are enjoying my twisted sense of humor. I have some things I've written in this story that were inspired by the thought...now that would be soooo wrong. In the AU vampverse that I have constructed they don't have vamptv. They DO have vamp websites which humans can't read. And they have the vamp books which Tanya and her sisters sell a lot of. I haven't written it into this part of the story, but I have the Volturi owning Hallmark. They make money off of sending your very best. And the vamps can go to a central website that humans can't literally "see" and read up on the latest goings on in the vampverse.

I can definitely see Tanya and her sisters having their own web site that gives advice and is regularly updated.

I had a biology teacher tell me that it takes 33 muscles to smile 44 to frown. I'm glad you are getting a workout of those 33.

Thanks so much for reviewing! I went in not long ago and edited those chapters so you are giving me fresh feedback. I changed the language a bit - because starting with the HOD arc it's in EPOV and the language level is going to get kicked up. And I tweaked a few lines here and there to make them more clear and/or funny. So you really are helping me. :) And totally making my day. Best, Books

Reviewer: LJ Summers (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2009 10:06 AM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part One

You have certainly ramped Tanya!  Vibrant!  Completely enjoyed the historical references (who says Alexander was really gay, lol?)  and the strip (insofar as it has been revealed!).

 

Should we extend sympathy to poor Tyler? :D  (Nope, I ain't got none for Lauren.)



Author's Response:

Hi there LJSummer!

I'm glad you like what I've done with Tanya. I liked the idea of making her Helen of Troy, of making her all these famous women in history and having all these famous lovers with Alexander being the one that got away. I had someone point out to me after that chapter Jane's age or at least her physical age. So I haven't put a note in there - but waaaay down the road something will happen plot wise to Jane that "ages" her to looking like she's 19 - a young 19 but she's not going to look like she's 12. So have that mental picture in your mind when thinking of Jane and Tyler together. And Lauran. I loved the scene with her and Tanya. That's why it got called survival of the bitch-fest. I haven't done it yet in the story but towards the end of it, I will most definitely be getting Jane and Lauren and Tyler in a room together. :) Thanks so much for your review. Best, Books :)

Reviewer: LJ Summers (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2009 09:42 AM · On: Chapter 1 - Tanya and the Bachelor Party Bet

Ah, delightful. Truly.  Tanya's always bothered me.

 

But! The most beautimous lines of all were the titles of the books!  Stunning!



Author's Response:

Hi there LJ Summers! I thought the idea of the vampires glittering was absolutely silly so had to make fun of it with the sparklygoogasm mocking. And I really do think that Tanya gets a raw deal in fanfiction. She really didn't have a role in the books beyond making Bella feel inadequate. So I wanted to write her as comlicated but hilariously self-involved. Smart, too. Tanya simply can't understand why her power doesn't work on Edward (or that of her sisters) because no one has ever told her no. She's going to be humbled in this story. Seriously. And Edward acts oblivious to her which pisses her off even more. Thanks for the review and your feedback. I hope you enjoy the rest of the tale. I had a lot of fun with it. Best, Books :)

Reviewer: effleurage (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2009 09:35 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty Two - "Scent"-antic Shenanigans

Hey Books,

     I've been following your story for a while. You're a voluminous writer. If you haven't hit the top spot on the list for Longest Fic, I don't know who has!!! I really liked how the first chapters of your story were written. They were naughty, engaging and very creative. Once I started reading your backstory, I got very confused and impatient. I realize that you have a master plan for this story, and that you know where you are going. I wish I had a plot diagram to go along with Cullenary Coupling, because I'm getting very distracted along the way.

     Thank you for writing such great A/Ns to go along with your stories. I appreciate that you take the extra time and care to write these as-well-as respond to your reviews.



Author's Response:

Hi there Effleurage!

Can I just say thank you not only for the review but for hanging in with me? This is my first fanfiction and it's been a learning process. I had my master plan and I think that when I first presented it, I caused a lot of confusion and inadvertantly probably frustrated many readers. That's why I changed the story summary and went back into the first chapters and put in notes. I also edited them after finding (gasp) grammatical mistakes that made me want to bitch-slap myself.

 

My evil master plan is re-doing the entire Twilight saga only using a few bits and pieces of the actual saga, expanding on the characters (or completely changing some of them). There will be no baseball field or ballet studio. There will be no rehashing of BD, NM, or Eclipse - although I will be addressing themes from each. So the backstory is the majority of the story. However, once it is done we will most definitely be getting back into Tanya land and answering all of those questions. And I will most definitely be earning my NC-17 rating ahem, when we hit the honeymoon. Just sayin. :)

 

I wanted the first seven chapters to come across as canon-esque slightly fluffly with a bit of angst and lots of humor. After reading the HOD, I hope that you see the beginning arc from a different point of view. Bella in the first few chapters of CC has absolutely no idea about Edward's ahem performance issues. Jacob isn't in love with Bella - he's trying to live up to his Dad's expectations whether she likes it or not.  And both Edward and Bella are shy. I don't know if you've noticed it (no one else has) but there has not been a scene where you see her talking to her father in a meaningful way since he returned from Denver. She's barely said a word to him. You know, the guy who lied to her for her entire life about being disabled? She has not spoken to her mother or answered her calls. She's non-confrontational. Think of how much hell Edward is going to have when he really pisses her off. Edward is also non-confrontational. That's what you see in the HOD, but that is also what you're seeing at the beginning of the calm before the storm. I think I might rename that arc that to give it some coherency. :)

If you are confused about any aspects of the plot please send me a PM. If I can, without giving away the future plot, I'm happy to answer any questions that you have. Or if you have an idea of a way that I can help you as a reader understand it more I'm all ears. This is a large story with a large plot and I will be tying them up together. Swear. We're hitting the part of the story where I'm doing that. And considering how much left I have to write, the only award I will ever win for writing will be as the longest story on this site. :) Thank you for the feedback on the A/N's. I wasn't sure if they were helping or not. I'm trying to write them in such a way that they are giving the bare bones without putting too much of an interpretation on them. I don't want readers who haven't read thinking they can just skim the AN's and figure out everything that happened in the chapter. I also put up a massive AN in Can't a Century Old Vampire...chapter that puts all the main plot points into the world's longest AN. :) Again, I understand as a writer that when you take the time to read my story, you've honored me by giving me the gift of your time. That, in and of itself, floors me. Thank you for your helpful feedback and your kind words. Thank you even more for sticking with me and giving me a chance. You really made my week. Best, Books :)

Reviewer: sweetswirlypop (Signed) · Date: July 13, 2009 05:08 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty Two - "Scent"-antic Shenanigans

LOL. The eco-terrorist has been found out. Anyway, the tatoo thing /was/ kind of confusing, but I'm hoping that will be cleared up in future chapters. Great chapter as usual. Thanks for the update! <3



Author's Response:

Hi there sweetswirlypop!

Thanks so much! At this point you should be confused about the venom tattoo dealio - but I'll be clearing it up soon. Basically you had at least two different spirits fighting over Bella. One of them - the Gorgon stamped her with all the marks. The other one - that Grace calls "Young to me Old Power" got really hacked at the Gorgon and put her venom all over Bella supernaturally speaking to protect her. Think of both actions almost comparable to a bruise - it took a lot out of Bella when it happened, hurt like heck, and took a while to show up. What you see as a result is that Bella is both marked - the Gorgon marked the energy around her not her skin - but she's also on the same level covered with a protective coating that masks her scent completely. So it actually helps Edward out. If the Gorgon got a whiff of Bella's scent during the fight - she can't track her now. If that doesn't make sense, please feel free to PM me. Thanks so much for your review and for your support of the story. :) Working on the next installment. Books :)

Reviewer: Jacque (Signed) · Date: July 12, 2009 09:57 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty Two - "Scent"-antic Shenanigans

Favorite line: "I've scheduled your temper-tantrum in three minutes."

Wow, Bella is a remarkable being to have so many powerful entities struggling over her. I'm really anxious to find out what you have planned for her.



Author's Response:

Hi there Jacque! Thanks so much for reviewing! Jugurtha scheduling Edward's life seems to be a really popular idea with the readers so I'm definitely keeping it in there. I like that my parody of the Id is acting almost parental with Edward at times, urging him to have self control, when he's not urging Edwrad to lick Bella. *snorts*

As for Bella being fought over by powerful entities - all I can say is you are very perceptive. Wondery what is so special about Bella? And Jacque, I'm really anxious to tell you. That part unfolds in this section. I won't be dragging it out. :)

Again, thanks so much for reading and reviewing. Your support of this story keeps me writing it. :) Books

Reviewer: notmyself (Signed) · Date: July 12, 2009 09:49 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty Two - "Scent"-antic Shenanigans

3 potential alphas?

Was it spirit or vampire that coated her in venom?

Did the protector young to me old to you thing tattoo her, or was that all Gorgon?

There were  a couple times that things in this chapter went right over my head. But it was a really gorgeously pieced thing. You never lack in adventure. Thank you. I simply wonder how you are going to manage to tie everything off neatly in the end.

 

~Mia



Author's Response:

Hi there Mia,

There were supposed to be some things well several things that were ambiguous in this chapter that I'll make clear soon. If you go back and read the fight scene between Edward and the Violet Gorgon it helps. You can "see" when the "Young to me Old Power" joined in the fight. The Young to Grace Old Spirit helped Edward kick the Gorgon off of Bella and sensed that she had marked Bella with venom. The Young to Grace Old Spirit lost her temper. She used her powers to protect Bella - so she did the spiritual drooling over Bella that resulted in her being coated in venom, but it took a while for them to "kick in" so to speak because the Violet Gorgon is immensely powerful. You could say those two spirits were about evenly matched. And their powers have been fighting each other which is why Bella has been in such pain. Think of the soul scarring like a bruise. She did it immediately, but it took a while for it to show. It also took a while to show because it was blunted by the Young to Grace Old Power. Both almost canceled each other out before both of them ended up showing their effects. So you have one immortal spirit that visually lights Bella up like a Christmas Tree stamping her with marks. You have another that tries to hide Bella, so it hides her scent. The area immediately around Bella has no scent beyond the environment. so vampires Standing next to her could not smell her at all. They can see her, yes, But the can't smell her or anything that is on her. They can't even smell Edward's scent which should be all over her since they've been having quality pressed against the flesh time.

And remember everyone wants to be alpha but only the strongest survive if the pack is to remain intact. So it's not a big deal that there are more than one contendor because there would have been them anyway. What matters is who is standing at the end. Edward was basically trying to distract them by saying, "Oh hey by the way did you know Sam that YOU are really powerful. And so too are you John. You both are almost as powerful as Paula." Then he creeps away and lets that wolf instinct for power kick in. Seth is now protected at least temporarily until they can figure out a cover story.

And I have never in all my life had someone call my writing gorgeous. I'm sitting here blushing. Mia, your reviews always make my day. Thank you so much for your support of this story. For inspiring me to try to make it better. :)

As for the tie-ing up the ends business....I'm doing the entire Twilight Saga. So this is going to be a really long story. In terms of pacing my intent was to build slowly until we got to this kind of action and keep it going up until the end. I might change my mind since I haven't finished the story, but that's the plan. I'm not taking the plots of the books and re-doing them, but I am taking elements of them and putting my own twist on them. So we are I would estimate over halfway done with the story. I do have time to tie up the ends, but I will not have everything end with every single thing being answered. To me that's too perfect. I'd like to leave some elements to your imagination. If my babbling doesn't make sense feel free to PM me.  :) Books

Reviewer: fanficreader83 (Signed) · Date: July 12, 2009 07:30 PM · On: Chapter 4: Homework Was Never Supposed To Be This Much Fun

the grocery store trip was quite funny and poor bella, she thinks her actions might be causing one reaction while he has completely different reasons(in some cases)!!!  ;)

Reviewer: fanficreader83 (Signed) · Date: July 12, 2009 07:29 PM · On: Chapter 4: Homework Was Never Supposed To Be This Much Fun

the grocery store trip was quite funny and poor bella, she thinks her actions might be causing one reaction while he has completely different reasons(in some cases)!!!  ;)



Author's Response:

Hi there fanficreader83! Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed that chapter. I had a lot of fun with poor Bella and yes, for the record I am evil. I wanted to play up the irony of how she's plotting and scheming and interpreting things one way, and Edward is for his part plotting and scheming and interpreting things another. I wanted to "show" how they are both not communicating. I also wanted to "show" how desperate Bella is. She's a very shy woman. And for her to be doing these homework exercises in public - again, she's a very shy woman. She feels she has to do this. Best, Books :)

Reviewer: Miss Poison (Signed) · Date: July 12, 2009 06:20 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty Two - "Scent"-antic Shenanigans

I've already read this, but wanted to leave you some love on here regardless. =) BTW, I took a little offense to the tattoo remarks. I have several that no one can see and I'm known for being an extremely classy woman. I'm going to hope you wrote that all in fun.  



Author's Response:

Oh MIss Poison, I'm most definitely mocking that sentiment. I hope that didn't offend you. I wanted to play up the sexism that Emmett thinks tats are hot if HE is the one getting them, or asking Rose to have herself tatted. And he thinks the idea of vampire soldiers having venom tatoos is all bad-ass soldier intimidating cool. Bella getting them? That freaks him out. Edward in CC remember that women didn't get the vote until 1920 and he died in 1918. Think about how his attitudes at that time that were perfectly normative for him to us....he comes across as a caveman. So I'm playing up on his snobbishness and cluelessness. Do you think I need to put in an AN? I don't want to offend anyone. Best, Books

Reviewer: fanficreader83 (Signed) · Date: July 12, 2009 05:29 PM · On: Chapter 3: Propositions and Practice

ok, edward is quite funny and devious, I mean poor jasper and his impure and unexpected thoughts, I loved tanya's tutorial and hope bella does get to make him squirm a little and finally the plan, I feel sorry if it happens only because bella will sooooooooo be missing out, I mean how could you think you had done that, won't she definitely know when they finally do... oh and edward practicing his 'move' on newton was great and shame on mike, his grandma put him in his place (haha you'll go blind)!!!  ;)



Author's Response:

Hi there fanficreader83,

All I can say is that if you think Edward is devious now, From Chapter 8 on he's going to positively make you squeal with joy. The first seven chapters are written 3rd person but NOT 3rd person Omni. So I haven't been showing everything that is going on in Edward's brain. We go into EPOV starting in chapter 8, and you might be surprised to realize the extent of just how devious he really is. Here's the game plan for the story. The first seven chapters take place before the wedding and I'm showing a post-Eclipse kind of story with Tanya adding in entertainment and conflict. Edward and Bella are not communicating and are game playing with each other (the bets, etc). Then I'm starting the backstory. You have to wait for the backstory to get done for me to pick up finishing the tale of Tanya and the bet and the honeymoon. The backstory is extremely complicated and should keep you highly entertained. Once I'm done with it (not there yet) we pick up and finish the tale. And the first seven chapters when I'm done with the backstory are going to take on an entirely new interpretation. Swear. :)

 

I'm glad you liked Edward being grossed out by Jasper's thoughts. In my mind, for all those years, Edward kept a similar schedule. He'd go to school, come home for a little while and sit in a corner watching his family interact, then he'd go out and run. He'd spen the rest of the night outside of the house because he wanted to give his family privacy. CC Edward is extremely shy and desperately lonely when Bella meets him. I can promise you that Bella way down the line is going to positively most definitely make Edward squirm. That's a cast iron promise. And I loved the idea of Mike waking up in front of his Grandmother - I have Mike in this story as pervy, but essentially harmless.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. :) Makes my day. Best, Books

Reviewer: fanficreader83 (Signed) · Date: July 12, 2009 04:56 PM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part Two

ok, clarification, last chapter I meant that tanya just needed to learn, now, this chapter cracked me up, from the behavior of the men while tanya 'performed' to edward's thoughts on tanya's scent (perfect by the way) and from the preview, I have to keep going to see how the family thinks they can trick bella into thinking that!!!  ;)    -Danna



Author's Response:

Hi there Danna! Ok, I now understand your point. I did not know if you were saying that Bella needed to learn or that Tanya needed to learn. I think Tanya gets a raw deal in ff's so I'm trying to do something a little different with her here. I loved the idea of Tanya being over-confident and thinking that she's "winning" and Edward being uncomfortable and squirming for entirely different reasons. The family has a good plan. :) Hope you enjoy it. Best, Books :)

Reviewer: fanficreader83 (Signed) · Date: July 12, 2009 04:28 PM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part One

oh I wish she would learn!!!  ;)



Author's Response:

Which she are you talking about? I live to answer reader's questions. Thanks for the review. :) Best, Books

You must login (register) to review.




Share/Save/Bookmark


© 2008, 2009 Twilighted Enterprises, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.
Privacy Policy | Terms of Service

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.