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Reviews For Cullenary Coupling
Reviewer: lisamackb (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 07:25 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

" I was a Doctor. Twice. Being totally unprofessional." Omg I dont think I have ever laughed so hard. My hubby thought I was going nuts. Yet again another great chapter. Keep them coming.



Author's Response:

Hi there lisbmackb!

Have your husband read and give his opinion on whether or not I'm making Edward sound enough like a "guy". I'd be interested in his opinion. :) I've tried to write Edward as a slightly prissy definitely snarky guy. And that line, "I was a doctor. Twice. Professional," has it's own growing fan club. So I had to use it and find a new twist on it in honor of those who like it. Thanks so much for the review, hon. I'm glad you enjoyed my twisted sense of humor. More is on the way. Promise.

Books :)

Reviewer: NightCullen (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 06:07 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

i see trouble on the horizion...

EMMETT MOVE!!! I WANA SEE!!!

*puffs out in irritation* stupid grizzly sized vampire...

ANYWAYS... as i was about to say till SOMEONE *glares at Emmett* got in the way.

i loved it as always. i agree with Rose after school kill them the world will only benift from it.

...

LOl i make myself laugh... ;P



Author's Response:

Hi there NightCullen!

Thanks so much for reviewing. I always thought given Rose's affinity for cars, combined with that steel persona that in a fight she just might be scarier than Jasper. No one would expect her to risk breaking a nail. Alas, the newborns suffer from ego combined with naive stupidity that does not appear to have worn off as they aged. They are so going to get schooled. Promise. :)

Thanks for reviewing,

Books :)

Reviewer: M Logan (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 05:54 PM · On: Chapter 5: Indecent Exposure at the Thriftway on Aisle Three: Shameless Hussy Part Three

You were right, Tanya is fun!  Poor Mike!  He is seriously has issues!  On to the next chapter......



Author's Response:

Hi there M Logan!

I'm so glad you are enjoying Tanya. I wanted her to be entertaining in this story. I think of Mike as the typical pervy guy. He considers Bella a friend but that doesn't stop him from fantasizing about her - much to Edward's dismay.

Thanks for the review!

Best,

Books

Tanya is waving at you...:)

Reviewer: June (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 05:44 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

Perfect timing!  Things have been intense.  Very intense.  But this chapter was a perfectly placed, balls out (snarf...) hilarious chapter.  We needed the cathartic, purifing release of wine (coffee, iced tea, pick your poision) through the nose to release some of the tension, that will obviously build back up quickly in the next chapter. 

I'm know you've broken the "third wall" before, but the "Not that kind of ring you degenerate" line was an instant classic. 

I would also love to see some titles from Emmett's "bad examples of pornography" file.  For research purposes, of course.

I am a little surprised that Edward would be comfortable in letting Billy Black think that he ate his testicles though.  Just a thought.

I also know that they've come so far, but seriously Edward, just kiss her already.  If not for yourself, do it for SSE.  He's pretty hard up right now.

Can't wait for the next chapter!

 



Author's Response:

Hey there June!

I was really nevous about posting this one as it was rather ahem graphic in more than one way. I'm delighted that it's being received so well. I should let my sense of humor stray more often, clearly. And my apologies to your monitor. :) I should warn you there will be laughter in the next chapter. Just so you know you have been warned. Nothing carbonated ok? I'm glad there's at least one thing that will be a classic from this story, thanks for the awesome compliment. I will definitely have to add some titles of Emmett's bad porn. stop by the thread and I'll brainstorm a few. The lovely posters on the thread are actually the ones responsible for Starched Shirt Edward discussing blow jobs. They dared me, you see. :) My inner Tanya had to come out and play.

And yeah, I really do see your point about Billy Black - truth be told Edward has been planning on killing him for so long that he doesn't really care what impression he leaves on him so long as he can watch him squirm. And it was a play on that earlier line where Edward had said "I'd eat my own testicles before...." And I was trying to extend the joke from what he did to Jacob with that whole chomping down on deer and being gory - with a more understated but personal touch. It might not work for everyone. :)

What you might notice about this chapter is Edward's nonverbal behavior. He's much more touchy in public of Bella. He actually has his head on her shoulder there at the end virtually snuggling - not that he's aware of it since he's kind of mentally busy at the moment defending the family and trying to keep his head from exploding. That's a big deal. The touching part, not the head exploding part. And I know, it's hard writing a love story about two intensely shy people. I literally have to edit out half of their dialogue to keep it genuine. Which sucks. But still. :) I've already got most of the next chapter written. I have to tweak with some scenes.

As ever, thanks so much for your review - you spoil me so!

Best,

Books

P.S. You'll have to let me know how I do on the snort scale of humor for the next chapter. :)

Reviewer: jenejes (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 05:35 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Five - Dream Edward

Okay, so it sounds like these visions are turning the color of thier eyes? I'm confused on that point. I can't even put into words how awesome the last line of this chapter is...earth moving orgasms...classic. Too bad Emmett won't hear about it..quakeward or orgamsoward roll off the tongue so wonderfully...



Author's Response:

Hi there Jenejes!

Thanks so much for reviewing! You are not confused. The visions ARE changing the color of their eyes back to the color they were when they were mortal. QuakeWard OMG! That's hilarious. It never even occurred to me. Emmett would die of envy if he knew. And don't even get me started on Jasper. I'm going to be snorting the rest of the day because of that line. :) Thanks so much!

Best,

Books :)

Reviewer: M Logan (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 05:29 PM · On: Chapter 5: Indecent Exposure at the Thriftway on Aisle Three: Shameless Hussy Part Two

OMG!  I laughed so much at Edward's expense in this chapter.  Charlie is so funny with all his thoughts.  Poor Edward, what perfect timing for Rose's order to arrive!  I can't wait to read what Tanya is planning to do at the Triftway!



Author's Response:

Hi there M Logan!

I have to admit I get misty-eyed over Tanya. No one shows her up. No one. And she kinda sorta feels bad for causing such a ruckus because Edward's dull human girl is growing on her. Shh don't tell anyone. So she will most definitely have all kinds of fun. The only way to beat a scandal is to make a bigger one.

Thanks so much for the review!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Merrisol (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 05:10 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

Okay. First, let me say I have a migraine and an eye infection BUT as soon as I realized this chapter was up I had to read it ... squinting ... with just one eye. That being said, here is my review.

Oh, Lord have mercy on us all. You were right; it is wrong on SO many levels. But it is funny as hell, too. I laughed until I almost cried (which probably would have been a relief) in some parts. A coven of vampire whore mongers ... LOL. Poor Edward, if that boy could think up a complete sentence on his own when he's around Bella, I am thoroughly convinced he would internally implode and fire off an orgasm that would destroy towns miles away. (I find that statement to be very funny. Just came up with it ... must be the drugs. You may use it in later chapters if you like ... hehe).

Loved, loved, loved the revenge part. Everyone played their parts so well. I don't even feel sorry for the poor bastard that lost his balls. Classic. The picture of this that is now forever burned into my mind is priceless. And Rosalie, while being her usual bitchy self, is just the right amount of comic relief.

I'm going to read this again when my headache subsides but I am satisfied at the moment that I have grasp the important parts.

I would love to peer into your mind for just a couple of minutes. I thought I had a weird mind. You, my dear, put me to shame! That is a good thing!!! Looking forward to the vampire hooker chronicles. Oh, and the reference to Anna Nicole Smith was priceless!!!!!  Muuaahhh!!!!!



Author's Response:

Hi there Merrisol!

Oh hon, I am so sorry about the eye infection. I have vivid memories of pink eye - which i hope you don't have. Then my brother got it. I followed him around the house like the Father on My Big Fat Greek Wedding - only instead of being obsessed with windex I was obsessed with spraying everything he touched with bleach. Poor guy. I was a little worried posting this chapter and am blown away (pun intended) at the response. Clearly I should let my sick side come out and play more often. Expect it front and center in the next chapter.

And you're right poor Edward. But poor Bella, too. When you re-read the chapter, notice all the nonverbal behavior - all the touching he's doing of her. He's all but snuggling with her in public there towards the end, completely oblivious to how it looks to everyone else.

I thought about Paula and all she's endured putting up with Billy. Jacob's Mom was a good friend of hers, and suspecting that he murdered her, and everyone else and not being able to do a thing about it, and being forced to give up her son to protect him - she's got years of pent up wrath. John Quill, too. So I firmly believed in doing the one thing that would hurt him the most. And I like letting Rosalie come out and play.

I must confess, that my beta when I told her that the newborns were going to be bisexual septuplets said to me that she'd like to spend an hour in my brain just to see what it was like - it's a sick, sick place. But it works for me. And the Anna Nicole joke I came up with when I was re-reading HOD2 with Jasper all scandalized about Bella's age. I don't think that would fade suddenly. I also wanted to emphasize in a strange sort of way how odd it must be to be dating someone who is that young. It's got to be so hard for Edward to put his brain in a place where he's trying to learn the norms of her generation - he's been tuning them out - and relate it to his own values and experience without tossing his hands up in the air.

The hoydens will return next chapter. Get out your lysol. :) You never know where they've been.

Starched Shirt Edward is blowing kisses at you!

Books :)

Reviewer: Rgwmnks (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 05:03 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

Girl You are KILLING ME HERE! I almost pissed myself AT WORK laughing so hard! Note to self...Maybe reading fanfic @ work is not good for the health of my career...Ahem. The tesicle eating thing, Oh jeez I even snorted on that one while laughing. I am anxiously awaiting the continuation of this story. EXCELLENT STORY!

Author's Response:

Hi there Rgwmnks,

Dear underpands of Rgwmnks - please accept our apology for causing you distress. Plesae be sure to use the restroom prior to reading the next chapter - and we should also warn you that the drinking of carbonated beverages would also not be recommended unless you plan on cleaning out your nasal passages with acid. :) Research shows that you work harder when you are in a good mood. I say they should pay you to read fanfiction for at least 15 minutes a day. Tell them I said so. :)

Thanks so much for your review. You made my day. I'm sitting here misty-eyed. Swear.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: sonecrackle (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 04:16 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

Such a good chappie!
Loved the whole hospital scene. Way to go all vamps & Paula!

Author's Response:

Hi there sonecrackle,

Thanks so much for your review! I'm delighted that you are enjoying my twisted sense of humor. I hope you enjoy the next one as well. And the one after. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Duckiclover (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 04:03 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

I have got to say, this story is pretty amazing. I never know what to expect, it is well thought out and exciting. Not to mention funny. I LOVE the angel/devil angle that you have going on. I usually don't comment on stories but I just had to tell you that I really love reading this one!



Author's Response:

Hi there Duckiclover!

Thanks so much for your review! It was a goal of mine when I started writing this that I wanted to make sure it was different than anything I had read. I'm glad that its working for you. I did have a bit of the angel and devil in mind when I came up with Starched Shirt Edward and Jugurtha - but they really are a satire of the id and the superego. So they will always be with Edward.

And I am honored that you are commenting. Seriously. :) You made my day. Thanks!

 

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Azrielstar (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 03:42 PM · On: Chapter 5: Indecent Exposure at the Thriftway on Aisle Three: Shameless Hussy Part One

What I don't understand is why Tanya and Jane can have sex with humans and not kill them. If they can why can't Edward and Bella?

Author's Response:

Hi there Azrielstar!

Thanks so much for reviewing and you are making a very good point. The thing to keep in mind with Tanya and Jane is that Tanya killed her lovers for centuries during sex - so did her sisters. And she kind of sort of didn't care about it. And then she moved onto the next lover. So she killed many, many of her human lovers. In my mind, only a few survived. She even killed  ones she actually kind of sort of cared about. Jane had sex with Tyler while under the influence of Jasper and managed not to kill him out of dumb luck.

If you read ahead to the Heart of Darkness arc of the story, I give a completely different explanation than canon for why Edward and Bella can't have sex. Swear.

Thanks so much for reviewing!

Books

Reviewer: M Logan (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 03:35 PM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part Two

Ha Ha Tanya, didn't see that coming!  Smelling like his late mother LOL!!!! O joy!  I love it! 



Author's Response:

Hi there M Logan!

I'm glad you liked it. Edward had to tell her no in such a way that she had no where to go in terms of arguing. He's letting her know how much he loved his mother (in a perfectly healthy way) and that she smells like his department human mother and he can never get past that. It's a compliment - he loves his mother - and it's a final nail in the coffin on the Tanya campaign.

Not that it'll stop her from being irritated. But still.

Thanks so much for the review!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: tapiana (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 03:17 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

Ahhh - one of the best chapters yet.  So Edward iss using the possesive pronoun "my" for the little bottle cap (my favorite endearment btw).  I can not wait for the next chapter - maybe a little Tanya love lust too smooth things over like at the beginning of the story?  Wonder how Bella will feel about that.  Yeah - thank you thank you thank you!



Author's Response:

Hi there tapiana!

Thanks so much for the review! I had a lot of fun with the story. I've posted a teaser on the thread you might find amusing. Keep in mind that in the first chapter, Bella had never met Tanya - so Bella and Tanya will not be interacting in the next chapter I'm constrained by that. I can promise you that Tanya is going to have all kinds of fun. Alas, not with Edward. No-one out lusts Tanya and the Denali sisters. Not no body not no how. And that includes the newborns. :)

And Edward most definitely is getting more attached to Bella. If you re-read the chapter, watch how he touches her. Definitely progress.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: M Logan (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 02:33 PM · On: Chapter 1 - Tanya and the Bachelor Party Bet

OMG!  Go Bella!  Way to stick up for yourself!  And Tanya-Ewww! Boasting that she slept with Edward was just so LOL!  And Bella catching her in the lie, even better!  This story is going into my favs!



Author's Response:

Hi there MLogan!

Thanks so much for reviewing and I'm delighted you are enjoying the story. I loved the idea of Tanya and Bella having a face off and Bella outthinking her. And walking away with a pulse. You have to give Tanya a chance though, she really is hilarious in this story. She just can't understand why Edward doesn't want her. Everyone else does. That boy is just not normal. And then she finds out he's attracted to this dull human girl? Tanya is horrified, despite having slept with legions of humans over the centuries. She's horrified that Edward would choose this dull human girl over her. Tanya will be getting a reality check. Soon.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: oncebitten (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 02:15 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

Hiya Books!! Hope everythings going good with you and your! I gotta tell ya I really enjoyed this update. Billy Blacks surgery and fainting 3x's was ariot,I laugh so hard I cryed. Oh, and Jasper compering Bella and Edward's relationship to Anna Nichole Smith that was priceless,and Tanya over 25million severd AWSOME!!!! I don't know how you come up with this stuff ,but keep it commin'. you totally rock

                                 ttyl, oncebitten                                                  



Author's Response:

Hi there oncebitten!

Thanks so much! I wanted to continue Jasper's revulsion that he expressed in HOD2 when he freaked out about Bella's age and Edward wondered if Jasper expected him to troll retirement communities for dates. To me despite that whole human/immortal dealio, it had to be hard for Edward and Bella to have a relationship simply because there were so many differences in terms of values, norms, generational knowledge, etc.

I have to admit, I liked the idea of the Cullens telling Paula that she could go all wolf on her brother and they'd make sure she didn't kill him. She had restricted her dealing with him to primarily over the phone and email - very few face to face meetings unless Charlie was there because she was afraid she'd phase and kill him.

As ever, thanks for the feedback and I'm delighted you enjoy my sick sense of humor. :) Books

Reviewer: jenejes (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 01:07 PM · On: Chapter 6: Lies, Dreams, and Schemes

I think that this is the most wicked, hilarious, wonderful thing I've read. Jane rocks, Aro is adorable, Rose is nice and Jake is a dick. The Jake thing is exactly what I wished would have happened in the original. and Quilute Thunder? PRICELESS!



Author's Response:

Hi there Jenejes!

Thanks so much! You are pretty soon going to be starting the back story which shows how all those folks came to be where they were in the beginning of the story (I started it about 3/4ths of the way through). And the tone will change. HOD 1 will be very dark. HOD2 will be funny. If you like Jake torture. I'm your girl. Plenty of it up ahead. Jane will be in the story but not for a while, and I think you'll like her. I'm definitely having her fall for Tyler. Hard.

Thanks for your feedback and your support of the story. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: MiaCullen (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 12:55 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Two - Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know

OMG! My favorite chapter yet! Holy crap! There were sooooo many good lines in here, and I would pull them out, but it would take too long, lol. But HuffWard is such a brilliant name! I laughed so hard.

And oh, you were totally right boutnthe last line. I love it. And I love that he freaking broke Mike's legs! He didn't just trip him, he mutilated him! It was great! hahaha.

I love him. And you. This story is so fucking great.



Author's Response:

Hi there MiaCullen!

I'm so glad you liked the last part there. I just love dark, territorial Edward. The thing that to me made it so hilarious is that his siblings are floored. He has never raised a hand to any human ever (or immortal) in front of them or out of their sight in seven decades. And all of a sudden he breaks both of Mike's legs in school in a brilliant way that doesn't expose them. And if you like Mike torture. The next two chapters should keep you entertained. I torture Jake a bit down the road. And I think what I do to him is worse than Mike.

Keep in mind that pretty soon this is going to kick into mystery mode. Everything you read has a reason and I've dropped clues throughout every chapter.

Thanks so much for your feedback and your amazing review!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: blue2185 (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 12:21 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Five: Technically I Did Not Sleep With Her on the First Date

Great chapter. It was interesting to meet these Other Immortals. I cant wait to see if there is a back story to them. Would be interesting. Onto the next chapter! (Interesting turn of events when Edward saw what really happened with him and Carlisle)



Author's Response:

Hi there blue2185!

Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you liked the Other Immortals. If I mention something that big in a chapter, you can be sure that I will at some point, explain who they are and what they are doing. Swear. I'm glad you liked the scene with Carlisle. I tried to show his decision as being a difficult one that he still feels guilty about. As ever, thanks so much for your feedback and your support of this story. Best, Books :)

Reviewer: chloe9 (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 12:17 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

*blinks* No, i honestly did not see that coming. I probably should have, because the humor from chapters 1-7 is back in spades. I will try to leave a proper review later, but for now I will tell you that I snorted out loud at parts. You should feel as proud and smug as SSE for that. ;)

Author's Response:

Hey Chloe9!

I'm glad that I managed to surprise you. :) And I didn't expect people to predict that. At least I hoped not. And I'm delighted that you laughed. More fun with the newborns is up next chapter. As ever, thanks so much for your review(s)!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: notmyself (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 11:28 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

My main impression of this chapter is rather stupid. Are you prepared for it? It goes: what the..... Yep. Another great epic chapter. The red heads are still weirding me out though. I kind of wonder what Bella observes through all of this. Edward isn't speaking to her. He's all distracted and grumpy, but getting handsy and affectionate without any visable reason. Then there is a staring, airhumping face off. Then everyone goes 28days later on each other, albeit with a strange left turn.

 

~Mia



Author's Response:

Hi there Mia,

As usual, my dear, you make very insightful points. What is going on through Bella's mind? And remember towards the end, he's all but nuzzling against her shoulder because he had a migraine. Much more fun is up ahead. I'm having so much fun thinking of getting the newborns and Tanya, Kate and Irina in the same room with SSE watching. Oh my!

And hope you caught the ahem inspired by ya'll on the thread comments from SSE.

Blows kisses at you,

 

Books

Reviewer: Sheeijan (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 10:57 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

Comparing Tanya to McDonalds was yet another stroke of genius that makes me bow down.  The chaste/chased thing is the one to make me kowtow.  But I have to admit I'm looking forward to seeing Tanya in action.  Against the trampires, that is. 

Poor Bella must think she is in an episode of the Twilight zone.  Is she not curious about the newcomers? 

With all the crap going on, I'm getting worried that the Volturi are going to catch wind of strange things occurring in the Pacific northwest and decide to make a visit. 

Thanks for the update!



Author's Response:

Hi there Sheeijan!

I'm glad you liked the joke about McDonalds. I was worried it might come across as too mean. Edward is a bit um harsh at times. And he points the fingers at Tanya for her sexual behavior, and at Jasper for his killing while kind of trying really hard not to look at his own - is kind of the point I was trying to make there. And I love puns. :)

If you re-read that chapter. Put yourself in Bella's shoes. She's been receiving mixed signals from Edward for so long that she's convinced herself that he only sees her as a friend and is being really nice to her to sleep next to her because of her nightmares. So imagine how confused she is with the whole declaring himself her boyfriend in public and then telling her a few seconds later while embracing her that it's just for show to irritate Jacob. And Bella has had so much going on with the finding out that she's disabled and everyone lied to her about it, that she's not as quick on the uptake in reading people around her. She also has zilch experience with men romantically. She is most definitely curious about the newcomers, but Edward leaning his head on her in the middle of the cafeteria and all but nuzzling her shoulder had her a bit preoccupied. Remember, she thinks he's an epileptic, and she also believes he suffers from migraines. And she can tell his head is hurting him. So she's a bit preoccupied at present. But you should most definitely read the next chapter thinking in the back of your mind - what would I be thinking if I were Bella.

And I am all kinds of eager to get Tanya and the trampyres in the same room together.

You should be worried about the Volturi - Carlisle mentioned it I think last chapter or the one before that they will be coming to pay a visit soon. After Los Angeles, the Volturi put out the word that they would be sending representative to every coven in the world to "discuss" the rules and to ensure the loyalty and commitment of the convens to observing them. And Carlisle already knows they are on their way. He just doesn't know when they'll be coming. That makes the whole red-eyed- people could be landing at any minute a bit more sticky for him.

As ever, thanks for the review and making me think about my story - gotta make sure I'm keeping the plot in line. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: jenejes (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 10:18 AM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part Two

OMG!!! That was the most AWESOME let down in the history of the written word. That has got to be the most humiliating moment in Tanya's life. Thank you!!!



Author's Response:

Hi there jenejes!

Thanks so much! I liked the idea of Tanya seeing Edward as a challenge, not as someone she loved. And I really liked the idea of him outsmarting her on a nice subtle level again and again and again without her realizing just how clever he is.

I have more humiliation up ahead - but not for Tanya. I must admit I do enjoy torturing my characters by putting them in hysterical situations like that.

Hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

Best,

Books :)

Reviewer: chloe9 (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 09:32 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Five: Technically I Did Not Sleep With Her on the First Date

Yikes. I couldn’t find the time to review this chapter before you posted another. And your chapters are the length of many multi-chaptered storied. I’m constantly in awe of you.  Now on to my commentary!
One thing I’ve been thinking about for a while is how Edward is able to put Bella to sleep at will with his wolfy powers. This reminds me of the way his lullaby works in so many stories. He hums a few bars, and Bella is out cold. Are you going to have Edward work those 2 things together, giving Bella a Pavlovian response to the lullaby?
How on earth did Liam convince the vampires guarding the land to let them live, and to work his experiments, when everyone else died? Unless I’m thinking of the relationship and timeline wrong.
Bella taking Edward to the O’Shea’s home, showing him the secret lab, AND opening up to him so much is like the shy equivalent of 3rd base. And Edward probably has no idea how very much all of those things mean, in relationship to how she feels about him.
And poor Edward! Having to see himself and his mother in their last living moments. But maybe these memories will remind him of how to love another person. Not just for scent-acular reasons.
Grace rocked my socks.
And I’m so intrigued by algae! Which is something I never would have thought I’d say.

Author's Response:

Hi there Chloe9!

I don't have a time limit on reviews. I have new readers giving me reviews on the chapters as they encounter them and I always find that helpful. So no worries if I post something and you haven't had time to review the one you were reading. I'm not tapping my foot. And I find your feedback very insightful. :) I liked the idea of him being able to send her to sleep and didn't want to use the lullaby because everyone does that. I had him sing to her once or twice so far - but I'm not going to be emphasizing it because again, everyone else does. I did not plan on having him work the two together. It was just my attempt to be different. :)

You ask a good question about Liam. One I am of course unable to answer at this time. But a very good question. Gold star for you. And again, two gold stars for the observation about Bella and her discussion with Edward. And again, you are right that Edward is clueless.

I wanted Edward to realize that he had remembered some details of his death wrong - and show why. If you go back and read the first section of HOD one and contrast it with that scene - you'll see the difference. In a way he gains something, but in a way he also loses something because he thought he had at least been by her side when his mother passed. And to me the image of Carlisle carrying her away to the sound of his Mother's heartbeat back in the ward as she dies surrounded by strangers....that kind of got to me. Her sacrifice and belief that her son would be better off and she had faith in him got to be even more. Edward will most definitely be pondering all of this. It's swimming around in his head at present.

Glad you liked the algae. I had a friend study glow in the dark bacteria and thought I'd incorporate that into the plot. I've never ran into another fanfiction with it. So thought I'd go there to up the creativity factor. And the challenge since I haven't looked at biology in yeesh ages.

Thanks so much for your review!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: squarepancake (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 09:15 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

Laurent juxtaposed with the sisters' names- fantastic. Also, a fight between the newborns and the skanky trio should be fantastic. I like your portrayal of Paula. After so many years of abuse she's getting her own back. I am curious how Jacob winds up phasing since he is depicted as a werewolf before the wedding. I'd blame Billy, but I don't think he has the brains for it.

Author's Response:

Hi there squarepancake!

I thought the idea of getting the newborns in the same room as Tanya and her sisters would be entertaining. So of course I had to go there. They must be put in their place. I'm glad you like Paula. To me she's a mixture of cold-blooded - not telling Charlie she had his child - or was pregnant with another - dealing with her brother handily for years while trying to keep Charlie alive and Jacob emotionally in one piece - and suffering at being separated from her son but never letting anyone have a clue.

I can't tell you how Jacob becomes a wolf. I CAN tell you that Billy has absolutely nothing to do with it. You're right he's not that smart.

Thanks so much for the review! Best, Books

Reviewer: Robs_Muse (Signed) · Date: July 31, 2009 08:35 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

*does her best Alice impersonation and bounces in seat clapping* what can I say?! Once again didn't see that coming and once again you've outdone yourself. I have to be honest and say I didn't see how you were going to tie this arc in with the beginning but I'm now seeing the characters develop slowly into what was in the beginning. Very nice. I have to say that I can't wait to see what happens when Tanya gets there. I imagine they won't know what hit 'em but we'll see!

(Side note: I know its gross but I have to wonder how OCDward would handle his Bottle Cap on her period, just a thought). :o)

Many many hugs and smoochies girlfriend!

-- Heather

Author's Response:

Hi there Robs_Muse!

Thanks so much for the review! I don't expect you to remember this line, but in the early part of HOD when Edward was being teased by Emmett for being a panty thief, he implied that Edward was huffing over Bella's trash can at certain times of the month. And Edward answered that he had gone through her trash, for research purposes of course. But he never inhaled. That was my nod to that issue. Another thing that I was trying to keep in mind was that there are several other stories out there than handle that issue and I wanted to avoid going where eveyrone else had so that was pretty much one of the only lines in the story I inteded on devoting to it.

I'm glad you didn't see how I was going to tie that in with the front chapters. That was my goal. I wanted to take "canon" and put a completely different interpretation on it so that the first seven chapters once you finish reading HOD and go and skim them - they are totally skimmable chapters to me, would take on a new meaning.

SSE is blowing kisses at you. :) Best, Books

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