Your donations help keep this site running,
thank you very much for the support!
Reviews For Cullenary Coupling
Reviewer: blue2185 (Signed) · Date: August 11, 2009 05:58 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

Oh shit!!! Who was bitten??? Will there be a new addition to the Cullen family? Or the newborn family? Great chapter!! Loved the Vamp-strippers! Cant wait for another update!! Wowza!! Did Billy Black get what was coming to him or what!  That was some harsh punishment but he deserved every bit of it for hurting Bellas family the way he did. And the sperm deal was just YUCK! Lol Although, I wouldnt mind more Jacobs if they looked like Taylor Lautner. ;0)



Author's Response:

Hi there blue2185!

No human was bitten in this chapter. There will not be any addition to the Cullen family or the newborn family. I'm glad that you enjoyed the chapter. I had so much fun with the concept of turning the newborns into a flock of over-sexed vampires.

I've seen Taylor Lautner in a show that was canceled on NBC last season and he really as an actor has charisma. I think he'll go far. My take on Jacob is that he behaves like a jerk because he's trying to please Billy - an impossible chore. And yeah, the sperm deal was gross. I was using that as a device to show just how obsessed Billy was with continuing his "line". He considers his daughters "defective" because they were not open to his influence. They've moved away and don't have contact with him. So Billy in his mind, planned on starting over. And now he can't. So I liked the karma of it. :)

Thanks so much for your feedback,

Books

Reviewer: MiaCullen (Signed) · Date: August 10, 2009 03:41 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Fourteen - Phantasms, Families, and Fantasies

"'Sam. Sam. Sam. Word. Sam. Word. Sam. Squee.'" This had me laughing for minutes. Literally. Like, Seth clearly captured how [most] teenage girls think of their boyfriends perfectly.

Man, this is getting seriously twisted. All i want to do is keep reading this forever. I was planning on going to sleep after reading this chapter, but you left me at a cliffie so I just HAVE to keep going! You evil genius, you!

Love it all!



Author's Response:

HI there MiaCullen,

Being totally honest here - I was actually kinda sorta making fun of Book Bella. I thought to myself - what if Book Bella actually verbalized all the stuff she thought about "god-like" Edward for other people to hear? So I had Leah do it in CC.

And you know I can't really do a cliffe in this section so much as what I like to think of as an informational cliffe. You know at the beginning of the story that Edward and Bella are undead/alive in one piece, right? Of course the gloves are totally off once this arc is done. *snorts*

This story has taken the top ten position for longest story on Twilighted. And I'm not done yet. So I suspect you'll have lots more verbage to wade through before I'm done. Thanks so much for the feedback. :) Books

Reviewer: M Logan (Signed) · Date: August 09, 2009 05:47 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Nineteen - Be Still My Beating Heart

Ok, now that was a chapter!  From reading and chewing on my nails when the Violet Gorgon attacked Bella to laughing so hard I almost fell out of my chair with the whole Chief Swan/Edward in the bathroom incident, you know how to keep your audience guessing.  I broke up even more when shirtless Carlisle came in the room.  WHOO! What a hoot!  My husband had to come into the room to make sure I was okay!

Way to go!  This plot/mystery gets better and better.  I cannot wait to read what kind of trouble the Cullens can get themselves into next!



Author's Response:

HI there M Logan!

Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm delighted you enjoyed the chapter. I had so much fun writing it. I wanted to give all the Cullens an opportunity to shine, and I liked reminding the audience that Carlisle and Esme are a married couple and smoking hot. And the idea of getting Edward in a room naked with Charlie - had to go there. I liked mocking the traditional over-used idea in stories of the father walking in and discovering his daughter with a boy. Except Charlie kind of didn't. Sorta.

Cullens will be in all kinds of trouble in this story. Thanks for the feedback. :)

Books

Reviewer: MiaCullen (Signed) · Date: August 09, 2009 02:23 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirteen - Hitchcock

I don't even know where to begin. I was laughing so hard at Alice, Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie lecturing Emmett and Jasper to such extent. Alice was like a ball of fire, lashing flames out at them. They were about to cry, for God's sake! She is talented. And vicious.

And then Edward! I have to say, I love Jugurtha because he makes it sounds so logical, when the matter and reasoning is so comical. To me at least, not to Edward. He takes it so seriously ;) And Starched Shirt Edward is so cute, because he was turned on too, but trying to hide it :]

Love it!



Author's Response:

Hi there MiaCullen!

I had such a hard time with this chapter - I'm glad you enjoyed it. I wanted to muddy the waters a bit with Alice. She's defending Edward - which is good - and showing him her loyalty - although she doesn't know he's listening. At the same time, she's risking the lives of her family and Bella by not telling them about Edward's problem. And she's lying by omission to her mate, something she's never done.

As for Edward's ahem research.....to me, Jugurtha totally had a point, Edward won't really know if he can pursue a relationship with Bella until he figures out what is causing the earth to shake and the glass to shatter. And that wars with his repressed nature - and of course I had to go there. I have a "now that would be sooo wrong" kind of meter that I use when coming up with ideas - and that is what inspired this chapter.

:)

Books

Reviewer: MiaCullen (Signed) · Date: August 09, 2009 12:53 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twelve - Bless me Father for I am Most Definitely Going to Sin

"Jugurtha the Predator made an inappropriate comment that I was using the wrong appendage to poke her with..." YEAH JUGURTHA! I like the way he thinks ;)

""Huffing your singer, ‘Just say no'," imagining himself the immortal incarnation of Nancy Reagan and her campaign against drug addiction." This was absolutely brilliant. I don't know how you think of these things, you're so clever! I was laughing for so long at those two lines!



Author's Response:

Hi there MiaCullen,

Thanks so much for your review! I'm glad you are enjoying my interpretation of Edward. I'm having so much fun with Jugurtha and Starched Shirt Edward and Main Edward. And Emmett as well. I liked the idea of the "Just say No" reference because it's from the 80's and I wanted to have them use dialogue at times that showed references to earlier eras in terms of culture - as a way of emphasizing how old they are. That, and I thought the idea of Edward huffing her was hilarious.

:)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: MiaCullen (Signed) · Date: August 09, 2009 02:49 AM · On: Chapter 8 - Heart of Darkness - Part Eleven - Weapons of Mass Distraction

Oh man! That is seriously some crazy stuff.

I bet Vera, Rosalie's friend, is one of Bella's ancestors. And that necklace is the "power" that the Blacks think the property posseses, and that the necklace is also the reason for the visions because Genevieve is somehow communicating through it.

That is my theory. But knowing your complicated genius, I'm probably way off. lol.

I'm looking forward to the coming chapters with fun in them :]



Author's Response:

Hi there MiaCullen!

Thanks so much for the review and I'm glad you liked the chapter. I thought it would only make sense for Edward to kind of have a bit of angst about crying given he's the world's most uptight vampire. When I thought up the vision with Vera, I wasn't thinking to make Bella a relative of her (still haven't, either). Ordinarily I don't comment on the plot, but this is one I don't mind answering. The average woman in the US is 5'5" with brown hair and eyes. And to me, I thought that if Rosalie saw there was a resemblance between Bella and Vera, it might make for an interesting dynamic. Remember Rosalie wanted Bella dead. Now all of a sudden Bella reminds her of her friend Vera, the only one who ever accepted her as she was. That was my twisted thought on it.

Hope you enjoy the future chapters, and thanks so much for the feedback and support of the story.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: MiaCullen (Signed) · Date: August 08, 2009 03:02 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Ten - Heartbeats and Lullabies

Wow. This was the best chapter yet. And I thought you couldn't get any better than the previous chapter, but I was wrong. This was amazing, and I'm so curious to find out what's going on with Grandma Swan!! Jeez, this story is so fucking awesome. You really thought it all out, and it shows in the crazy, twisting webs that you have spun.

Absolutely amazing.



Author's Response:

Hi there MiaCullen!

Thanks so much for the feedback! I had so much fun with that chapter - and the last scene. I'm glad you did as well. Grandma Genevieve is definitely going to be keeping you occupied for the next few chapters. I'm delighted that you are enjoying the complicated plot - I've been having so much fun trying to make it different and I'm overjoyed that I've managed to do it in a way that makes sense. :)

Again, I know it takes time to review, so thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with me.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: MiaCullen (Signed) · Date: August 08, 2009 12:47 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Nine - Legacy

Jesus, woman. I'm so lost in the best way possible :]



Author's Response:

Hi there MiaCullen!

I hope I can lead you out of the wilderness into the light. :) *snorts*

Many thanks, hon. :)

Best,

Books

Dream Edward is blowing a kiss at you.

Reviewer: MiaCullen (Signed) · Date: August 07, 2009 03:22 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Eight: Something Fetid This Way Blows

I love that Edward keeps thinking about how OCD and stalkerish and unhealthy Jacob is for being so obsessed wtih Bella, when he is twenty times crazier. :]

 

 



Author's Response:

Hi there MiaCullen!

Thanks so much for the review! I liked writing Edward as being critical of Jacob for doing the very things he is - and I'm delighted that you find him 20 times crazier as that was my intent, and I'm glad it came across that way to you. :)

Thanks for making my day!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Emily1672 (Signed) · Date: August 06, 2009 04:23 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

Really enjoying this story. I'm definitely in the heart of the whole thing and having a great time with it.  One quick not... this came up earlier and I was going to let it go, but since I read it again in this chapter, I thought I would mention it...  Dillard's doesn't exist up here in the Pacific Northwest, You'd be better off mentioning Nordstrom's or Macy's which I think is our equivalent.  There are also a few Sak's stores here as well.  Sorry, if that sounds nitpicky.  Maybe I'm just jealous that we don't have them here... :)  Okay on to more of your lovely story...



Author's Response:

Hi there Emily1672!

Seriously Dillard's doesn't exist there? Who knew? I used to live in California and it wasn't there back then, either. I picked a department store at random and most definitely should have checked. I picked Dillards because in my mind it's not as "posh" as Macy's brand, although it is still upscale. and I really didn't want him in Neimun Marcus. We just got a Nordstrom's a few hours away so that store is new to me. 

I liked the idea of Edward in Dillards because it seemed so fish out of water. You're not being nitpicky, and I appreciate your feedback. That section of the story I beta-ed myself and I went back in and found so many grammatical erros I had to slap myself repeatedly. :)

I'm glad you are enjoying my twisted take on Edward. I've had so much fun writing him.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: pillowbiter (Signed) · Date: August 06, 2009 01:30 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Ten - Heartbeats and Lullabies

hoyl shit that was long! But I loved every minute of it. So much stuff happened here I dont even know what to comment on first. I'm so glad we are finally seeing Edward coming around to his feelings. But I completely understand why you took this long. I don't mind abit. And you've been so creative in your backstory with the tribe It's amazing. I'm truly lost for words about how your story has captivated me. I can't wait to find out more about these new powers and how Edward is having human moments.



Author's Response:

Hi there pillowbiter!

I had so much fun writing that chapter. Thanks so much for the feedback and your kind words! I wanted to show Edward literally reaching his breaking point for the first time since Chicago's wake up call. And to me, the image of him on his knees wrapping his arms around himself and rocking back and forth trying to recall his Mother - while trying to be quiet so the house has no idea what he's doing - to me that captured CC Edward perfectly in what I'm trying to convey about him as a character. I'm glad you are enjoying my back story with the tribe. I wanted to illustrate what happens when an oral culture misremembers their history. And that's exactly what has happened to the tribe. Because no one wanted to talk about that time, the misunderstandings that Gregory Clearwater created were never disputed. I wanted to give a different take on why the wolves don't like the Cullens but not make any "side" the bad guy.

In my mind the most important thing to remember about Edward's power is the phrase that Hezekiah told him, "With power comes sacrifice." That's a central theme of this story. I didn't think it would be practical for Edward to suddenly have these overwhelming powers that he uses with a flick of a finger. You'll see him "learn" and try/fail.

I hope you enjoy the future chapters and thanks so much for your review. You made my day. :)

Books

Reviewer: chloe9 (Signed) · Date: August 06, 2009 11:10 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

Wow, I’m a little green in the gills thinking that one man created that many sperm samples. That had to have caused chafing. Billy’s arrogance was nicely trampled by the show the vampires and the tribe put on. I can’t believe that he actually thought his testicles were eaten! Even if Edward was licking blood from his fingers. Heehee, and the butterfly tattoo! Sure enough, only an idiot would incur the wrath of vampires, werewolves, and the O’Shea’s.
Hmmm, so Genevieve definitely knew the power that the necklace contains? I’m giddy with anticipation to find out how much the O’Shea’s know about vampires, and/or other supernatural beings.
I can’t wait until Tanya and her sisters show up for the Ho-Down Throw-Down! That should be hilarious. I’m so glad that you wrote a Tanya who is likeable, and not just a shallow, trampy villain. I’m curious to find out where the newborn family came from “ are they in cahoots with VG or the red eyed people, or do they simply have unfortunate timing? And they caused Edward to lead Bella on! She seems to have genuine feelings for him, and now he’s holding her hand and smiling at her like he’s more than just her Fake Boyfriend, without even considering what she must think and feel.

Author's Response:

Hi there chloe9!

Thanks so much for the review! I was possibly a wee bit enthusiastic in portraying Billy Black as having perhaps a bit too much time on his hands (pun intended). In my mind, he's been collecting samples for years and years out of paranoia that Paula (who manipulated him quite handily) would not be able to deliver on having Charlie's child. Billy knew that he'd have to wait a few years for his plan to take place and got a little carried away in his obsession. And I liked the idea of Edward stalking Bella and lying to her while sniffing at Billy for being a deviant. It made me smile. And Edward with the blood was doing that because Jacob was so easy to frighten he had to take the chance with Billy - since he's still sulking about not being able to kill him.

And for the record, I never said or implied that Genevieve knew anything about the necklace - just that Bella was to have it and it was their secret and once she put it on she should not take it off. That could, hypothetically speaking, be all that Genevieve knew about it. Just sayin'. :) I will be advancing the plot on that angle that makes you all giddy over the next few chapters - we'll learn more about Uncle Liam. Genevieve has had her chance to irritate everyone. Liam has his needs, too.

I really meant it when I wrote chapters ago that I thought Tanya got a raw deal in fanfiction. It's too easy to turn her into the Harlequin wench. Or the wronged girl everyone misunderstands. And I didn't want to do what other writers had done - no offense to anyone intended. I wanted to make something that was a bit harder to peg down. Tanya in my mind you'd have a hard time sticking in one category. She plots cruel practical jokes on Bella and Edward - yet she kinda sorta much against her will "likes" Bella - and that's not stopping her one second in her campaign to get back at Edward. Her professional reputation is on the line in her mind. And I really liked the idea of her having never been told "no" by anyone and not being able to handle rejection while portraying herself as a therapist. Too much fun. I have no comment on the newborns beyond saying that in my mind they are the vampire equivalent of cockroaches - when the world ends they will still be standing due to either design or dumb luck. :) But I plan on having soooo much fun with them.

And for the record, I am delighted that you are seeing Edward's mixed signals to Bella. He is so distracted by all this business that he's letting down his guard and turning to her for comfort completely forgetting that he's in public which is very un-Edward like. Don't worry. He'll learn. Soon. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: nofangsallowed (Signed) · Date: August 05, 2009 11:53 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

Books--you have such a sense of humor!  Hilarious Harem of Hussie Hillbillies from Hell!  I laughed so hard!  But I hope they don't bite anyone.  I don't think the minds of the Forks teens are strong enough to be changed (except for Bella), but I'd hate to lose any of them for entertainment purposes.

Love Edward's new found confidence!  That last line is a classic!



Author's Response:

Hi there nofangsallowed!

Thanks so much! I am delighted that my twisted, sick sense of humor is being appreciated. Clearly, I should unleash it more often. :) I had to much fun dreaming up the idea of the CC Newborns. My beta when I ran the idea by her commented that my mind was a sick and twisted place. I took that as high praise. I saw the newborns as this group that had the gift to be like vampire cockroaches - to survive against all odds through dumb luck. They have no intention of biting anyone unless it's to drink of course. And they're hungry. Jasper like hungry. Hence the Cullens are bound and determined that they won't be biting anyone. Legally speaking, if the Trampires bite any human, the Cullens can sit back and unleash the pack on them. And if you remember from the first seven chapters Lauren is going to be turned way down the road. I'm having so much fun thinking of her as a vampire. *sigh*

Next chapter won't be up for at least a week. But I plan on having loads of fun with it.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: nofangsallowed (Signed) · Date: August 05, 2009 06:47 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Four - What Could Possibly Go Wrong With a Miscreant Immortal Having an Un-chaperoned First Date?

Stunning cliffie!  I can't wait to read what happens next!

Wow--your plot is so complex.  I love that you keep us going by revealing things a little at a time.  I like doing that too in my stories.  Anyway, this is perfect.  I might have to stay up and read the next chapter tonight.

One question.  Should Edward have put her to sleep, considering she's good with a blade?  Did he have the vampire blade on him?  Just curious.



Author's Response:

Hi there nofangsallowed!

Thanks so much for the review. I can't really do "real" cliffies in this section because the first seven chapters have established them as being alive/undead/whatever :) So I call those "informational cliffies" - because you know they're ok, you just don't know how. So I don't feel so guilty posting a chapter. At least that's what I repeat to myself. :)

Thanks for the compliment on the plot. :) I've got a running debate going with some friends who think it's too complex - they might be right but I'm still going for it anyway and will try to do the best I can putting in little reminders here and there in the chapters - that's why I started doing the story summaries.

You raise a very good point. What "should" Edward have done is not necessarily what he actually does in fact do. It would have been the prudent thing to keep her awake and arm her. Edward put her to sleep because despite that whole realizing that she has more talents and acknowledging her as an individual increasingly with time - fundamentally - he's a sexist pig, and he most definitely does not want her aware of his vampire nature and will pull out all the stops to ensure she stays that way. Also, he's arrogant. He thinks that his vampire nature is so strong and superior to her weak human one, that she'd only get in the way (he might be right on that front), so he feels justified in putting her out like a light. In my mind it's also freaking patronizing. But that's just me.

And Bella said that Liam used to teach her fencing - she never said she was extremely talented at it - and I'm not writing her as Bella Buffy. This will come out in the next chapter a bit - but in my mind Liam was teaching her fencing for two reasons. First, and fundamentally, it represented the closest thing to physical therapy he could do for her. Remember her parents refused to allow anyone to tell her that she had a disability. And Genevieve and Liam and Jericho, much to Bella's distress kept their word. Second, you can see by all the weapons he had around the place and the security system that Liam was either very paranoid, very concerned about the safety and welfare of his family - or both. In Liam's mind if she knew how to handle a knife she could buy herself a bit more time until help arrived, but he knew she'd probably be outmatched in a fight with an average sized man - so he wanted her to be able to at least have a chance at holding her own. Morbid, but that's his thinking.

If I remember correctly, he left the blade upstairs. He didn't sense anyone down there, so he didn't take it with him. If he HAD sensed anyone down there, he would have invented some sort of excuse not to go.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: lea2009 (Signed) · Date: August 05, 2009 10:19 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

I have been reading your story for probably a week now.  I am so hooked!  How on earth do you come up with so many different plots for one story?  You are an excellent writer! 

I love your Edward, very complex.  And my absolute favorite thing is  "I was a doctor.  Twice.  Professional."   I swear every time I read that I start cracking up!!  I think its hilarious.  Oh and also how he refers to Bella as his little bottle cap, I think that is so cute!

Anyway,  I'm loving it thus far, please continue soon and i cant wait for some Edward/Bella time!



Author's Response:

Hi there lea2009!

Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad I haven't sent you screaming for the hills with my twisted take on Edward. :) I was afraid when I first started posting the HOD section that my readers were going to murder me, declare me insane, or both. I'm absolutely delighted that folks are enjoying what I've been doing and I really do appreciate the feedback. It helps me as a writer know if the message I inteded to convey is actually getting across to the readers. I have so much fun with that Doctor. Twice. Professional line. I have to make sure not to overdo it, but if I can squeeze it in a time or three - I'll do that in a red hot second. I had a hard time with the endearments. I had him calling her "my human" at the beginning of the story to show a dichotomy. On one hand, you could argue he's a sociopath, because he's depersonalizing her - calling her a human rather than by name in the way he thinks about her. I also used it to show that Edward longs to be human, yet looks down on them at the same time - so he's horrified that he's attracted to one. But I wanted that wistful part of him - the part that never felt he had anything to call his own - the part that didn't understand what love felt like any longer - or that he was indeed loved - to see calling her "my human" as a sign of affection - that he for once had something special on this earth just for him. The fact that it was one-sided.....doesn't really occur to him. And my human and my singer got old, so i had to come up with something new to show the progression of the relationship - that he's thinking of her more as a person. To me, my little bottle cap is a bit of progress - but still shows that he values her for her scent. He told Emmett that  lugging around a bottle cap with her scent was far more convenient and practical than lugging a 110 girl around. When we get to my dear little one and my little algae lover, you're seeing more affection (at least to me). That's my thinking on that part. I'm going to be pulling my hair out trying to come up with a new one. :)

I must confess as for the plot line - i got a little over -ambitious. I started writing and came up with new ideas and my friends who write were telling me - save that for another story. I decided in my hubris that i could at least try to make it work, so I've created a spiderweb of plots and sub plots. Paws crossed that I can keep them straight and do them justice. I have an outline that makes my computer weep when I click on it.

I am working on the next chapter but it won't be up for at least 7 days. I want to do some revising on it. I hope you find it worth the wait.

Thank you so much for giving me your feedback. You made my day. :) Seriously.

Starched Shirt Edward is blowing kisses at you. :)

Books

Reviewer: SueBob (Signed) · Date: August 04, 2009 09:23 AM · On: Chapter 7: The Webers - Flowers and Pasties for Jesus

"I dance for Jesus."
"I love Jesus. He's the man."
OMG, appropriately enough, I am in hysterics!

Author's Response:

Hi there SueBob!

Thanks so much for reviewing! I had so much fun putting Emmett in the same room with a man of the cloth. Tanya, too. And poor Ben Cheney. I had to go there too. Satan made me do it.

I hope to be able to keep you in hysterics in the future. The HOD starts off a little gloomy but I swear on CC Edward's virginal soul, I have several funny things in there as well.

 

Best,

Books

Reviewer: nofangsallowed (Signed) · Date: August 03, 2009 09:41 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Part Twenty-One - Mammoth Sized Mongrels Stench-Sploding in the Night

Tremendous teasing tart!  (Love ya', Books!)

Okay--she's venom coated?  Wow!  Did not see that AT ALL!  So thrilled with all the twist, turns, and complexity--and it still makes sense--perfect sense, I might add.



Author's Response:

Hi there nofangsallowed!

Amazing Astounding Author! Thanks so much for the feedback. I'm glad that I'm able to put twists and turns in there that people don't see coming. And I'm really, really glad that it's still making sense. I went back in about two weeks ago at the suggestion of another reviewer and put in the summaries before and after to help jog people's memories without giving away the plot.

Sending waves of affection right back at'cha

Starched Shirt Edward is winking at you.

Books

Reviewer: M Logan (Signed) · Date: August 03, 2009 07:50 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

So, Edward called Bella his 'girlfriend' in front of Jacob in this chapter and Bella didn't correct him or flinch.  So, does Bella see Edward (or Dream Edward) as her boyfriend?

The conversations Edward has with Starch-shirt Edward are hilarious!  I love when Edward teases him and sends him praying.  I'm a Catholic and I thought the 'Hallelujah' line and the abstaining from meat on Fridays was funny! 

I think Edward is definitely living in his own little world and begining to worry me! 



Author's Response:

Hi there MLogan,

Thanks so much for reviewing. Edward in my mind is one sick man. But he's sick not because he has multiple personality disorder. Starched Shirt Edward is a parody of the superego, and the predator is a parody of the id. Those are parts of your self. So he needs them both to think. Now if he blacked out and forgot time and while he was out of it, Starched Shirt Edward took over and started doing things - then we'd have a multiple personality disorder case.

What I'm doing with Edward is showing someone who was traumatized profoundly by being turned. But even more so because he felt that he could not share this with Carlisle. So he took all that self-hatred at being a vampire and turned in on himself. And after he "woke up" from his rebellious years his scarring became even worse. He never dealt with what he did, and he lied to his family about it, and has created this world - a mental prison so to speak - where he believes that instead of acting like a century old vampire, that he has to act like a 17 shy boy in order for the Cullens to "keep" him. He does not remember what loving felt like so he does not understand that the Cullens love him and won't leave him.

He most definitely called Bella his girlfriend in front of Jacob primarily to piss Jacob off. Now imagine yourself in Bella's place. This hot guy has just declared in front of God and country that he's your boyfriend and not ten minutes later tells you he said it all for show. She's a little sick and really confused, but she's too sick to really care, to be honest.

Bella right now is in a world of hurt. She's just had her entire life reframed by finding out that she was seriously harmed in an accident and left disabled and that her parents not only did not get her therapy for it, but refused to even tell her she had it. She's not really in a place where she's able to give Edward much thought or consideration. She's sick, she's tired, and she's really, really angry.

I wrote Edward as extremely religious to be able to have a particular angle on that whole soul dealio. And I picked Catholicism because I am one and have taken way more theology than is probably normal. :) But to me, if someone is reading and he/she is of another religion, they can substitute that one for the one I wrote him as. To me it was not so much important what religion he was so much as that he WAS religious at the time of his turning. Hope that made sense. I picked Catholicism because I didn't feel comfortable making jokes about other religions - I felt I didn't know them well enough to joke like a native so to speak and didn't want to offend anyone. I can argue with any Catholic about what I'm doing and feel comfortable. And I loved putting in the little fights between them about observance. To me it's not so much the little details as the messages that it sends. Edward is refusing to believe in a higher power because he feels he has no soul. SSE is insisting that he's wrong. And he's not quite practical in the way he approaches religion. I've written SSE as frozen theologically in time as well. That little thing called Vatican II? He's not quite up on that.

Hope that babbling made sense, and thanks so much for reviewing. Pax te cum.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: M Logan (Signed) · Date: August 03, 2009 04:53 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Four - Deviant

Wow!  So, Bella has a 'gift'?  I'm confused, she can help the vampires remember their past and in doing so, make them seem 'human'?  The memories cause their eyes to return to normal?

Love the chapter!  I love how Predator Edward and Starch-shirt Edward fight, like an angel and devil on his shoulders.  I love this line: 'Starched Shirt Edward was babbling so loudly about temptation and mortal sin I couldn't make out what he said as he fainted from shock dropping his Bible and rosary as he swooned'  Ha! Ha!  Love it! 

I love that he could be almost truthful with Bella while she was in this state, calling her his 'dear human' and 'Delirious Singer'.

Where can I get a Dream Edward? Please tell him that he can visit me anytime! 



Author's Response:

Hi there M Logan,

It appears that Bella has some sort of ability to induce visions in vampires. The visions are what change their eyes. Temporarily. I did it that way because I liked the symbolism of Edward feeling "human" and watching his eyes change in the mirror from the green he had forgotten to the brown that he loathed. Depressing. I know. :)

I did like that Edward was truthful with her - then. He comments on more than one occasion that they get along just fine when she's asleep. I love me some Dream Edward as well. He's the name Bella gives Edward when she's sleeptalking. She thinks she's dreaming him. Edward thinks she'll never remember since she has such a high fever which is why he was as forthright as he was in this chapter. Glad you enjoyed it. :)

Thanks for the feedback!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: pomme_de_terre (Signed) · Date: August 03, 2009 04:16 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

LOL!  This was a wonderful chapter.  Billy completely deserved being separated with his lugnuts and having all bazillion of his potential spawn destroyed.  The love triangle between Edward, Bella and the shirt is priceless, although I'm saddened that she didn't drool upon it to return the favour.  Also, the Trampires are WIN!  I cannot WAIT to see the havoc about to be unleashed!

BTW, Mary Sue better leave Dream Edward alone lest I unleash my own powers on her!

Again, many thanks for sharing!



Author's Response:

Hi there pomme_de_terre!

Thanks so much for the feedback! I really did have fun dreaming up vengeance and butterflies. You do make an excellent point about the drool on the shirt. Had she drooled on it, I suspect that Edward wouldn't have been jealous. I suspect he would have convinced himself that she was being considerate, like Pavlov's dog salivating at the very scent. He'd do that Mr. Arrogant.

I'm glad you liked the Trampires. I liked the idea of a group running around causing chaos and somehow not bringing the wrath of the Volturi upon them. In my mind their gift is that they are the vampire equivalent of cockroaches. They always survive no matter what happens, by dumb luck.

I think you'll like what I do with the Trampires. I really do. Tanya is going to have soooo much fun. Just sayin'

Best,

Books

Reviewer: SueBob (Signed) · Date: August 03, 2009 03:58 PM · On: Chapter 5: Indecent Exposure at the Thriftway on Aisle Three: Shameless Hussy Part One

This is too funny for me to express appropriately. Thank you so much for giving me a lift when I so needed it!

Author's Response:

Hi there SueBob!

I'm slapping myself officially for not responding to your review earlier. Sleep deprivation is a bad thing. :) Thanks so much for the review and the feedback. I'm delighted that I could bring joy to your day. And I have many more laughs packed into this story. Swear. I hope to keep you laughing. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: fanficreader83 (Signed) · Date: August 03, 2009 04:51 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

That was the perfect way to deal with billy (who I might add just gets creepier as you continue ;)...  I can't even imagine what was going through bella's head when she thought she had 'attacked' edward, I was glad he could clear things up though so she didn't feel too uncomfortable and for the poor girl, if she really had done that to him I would want her to be able to remember it!  I definitely did not see this type of behavior from the visitors coming  ;)  can't wait to see where this goes!!! 



Author's Response:

Hi there Fanficreader83!

Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you liked my twisted way of dealing with Billy. I liked the idea of his sister having the last word, so to speak. But I also liked the idea of John Quill getting to have a vote. In my mind, Bella would be absolutely freaked when she wakes up and finds herself clutching Edward's shirt. She was mortified when his sisters described it earlier (her behavior) and had made the comment that Edward probably thought she was some kind of psycho stalker. So in her mind, she's taken advantage of him. Again. He keeps her from having nightmares - at least she thinks he does. So she's panicked that he won't want to be around her because she stripped him of his shirt. And she's not quite sure if he "gave" it to her at her bequest or if she took it off of him herself. Hence. Bella is a wee bit upset. Flustered. Mortified. Fun to write.

I'd definitely want to remember that if I were in her place. Glad I managed to surprise you with the newborns. They were so much fun.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: jenejes (Signed) · Date: August 02, 2009 11:49 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

Wow. you know this is madness, right? Books, I've got to say that anyone who ever thought of making you angry really, really needs to read about that bastard Billy Black. I never ever want to do anything even remotely close to making you angry, because quite frankly, after reading that, I'm kind of scared of you. However, I quickly came to my senses and remembered that I love you because is the coolest, craziest and most wonderfuly absurd story I've ever read. Liam..I notice that you don't claim his as your own...is that because he is somehow going to be the Irish coven Liam from the books? That has me a little confused, that and I'm not sure a mere mortal could have actually accomplished all the wackiness that describes him...

Oh, and Edward is going to go completely crazy with all these personalities, is he? Just wanted to make sure.

Love,Jenejes



Author's Response:

Hi there Jenejes!

Yep. I'm certifiably nuts. Pun intended. I had a lot of fun writing that scene. I liked the idea of the irony of Billy trying to force Jacob to phase and all along his sister is a wolf. And he's been treating her like garbage for years, and the second he started getting shifty-eyed towards Charlie, she decides to take care of business. And thanks for the kind words on the story. When I started writing it, my goal was to bend over backwards to make it as different as I could from other stories out there. I'm bowled over that folks are enjoying it. CC Liam is not a character from the Twilight saga books. I didn't really get around to looking up all the names of the vampires that made flitting appearances in breaking dawn because (with all due respect to those who liked the book) I'd gouge my eyes out before I read it again. So thanks for giving me a heads up on that, I'll put a note in the next chapter. I don't want to, by using a name that was in the series, have people thinking I'm going somewhere I'm not. You spoil me so!

Liam is 100% mortal. Certifiably nuts by many people's standards, but 100% mortal, that also goes for Genevieve and Jericho.

When I came up with the idea of Starched Shirt Edward - the idea kind of evolved. At first I just wanted him to represent the Edward that existed prior to the change - the sweet young man who was bewildered by what was going on around him but believed in the goodness of the world around him. I changed it to be a parody of the superego. And Jugurtha is a parody of the id. They are not separate personalities - all are part of Edward's brain. I just gave them names. You have a SSE in your brain, a Jugurtha, too, according to Freud. So Edward is not suffering from multiple personality disorder. If he was, then SSE or Jugurtha could take over his body and Main Edward would literally have periods of time he couldn't remember because one of the other "personalities" would be in control. Hope that made sense. If it doesn't, please feel free to PM me.

Edward will go all kinds of bonkers in this story. Soon.

As ever, thanks for the amazing review and your support of this story,

Best,

Books

Reviewer: nofangsallowed (Signed) · Date: August 02, 2009 02:12 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Nineteen - Be Still My Beating Heart

Awesome chapter!  So much in it.  The stuff with Charlie had me laughing so hard!  He so deserved it, and I'm glad your Cullens had so much fun with it.

Skeevy gives me the skeevies and Violet Gorgon makes Genievive look tame.  Can't wait to read more.



Author's Response:

hi there nofangsallowed!

Thanks so much for the awesome review! I have to admit, I have a "that's soooo wrong meter," and if I get an idea that fits it, I have to find a way to write it. I liked the sterotypical situation of the boyfriend lurking in the girlfriend's room hiding from the father and thought hmmm let's get Edward naked and Charlie sort of naked and see what happens. So I had a lot of fun with that scene. I also liked showing Charlie being either really perceptive or ...not. And it was important to me to give Carlisle and Esme more of a role in this story than they had in Twilight and the other books.

Skeevy and Violet Gorgon are most defiitely creepy. Glad that part worked. :)

Thanks for the feedback!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Mizra (Signed) · Date: August 02, 2009 01:16 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

*spits* BILLY LOST HIS TESTICLES?! OMG, that is definitely better than canon. You were not kidding about the "hang on for the ride" part. lol, I needed that so badly today.... lolroflxd

*bows to the queen of funny things that happen in twilight non-canon*



Author's Response:

Hey Mizra,

If you want to be technical about it, canon never dictated he had them (or did not). Therefore, i felt free to do what I wanted with them. And his ahem research. Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad I could make you laugh. :)

Best,

Books

You must login (register) to review.




Share/Save/Bookmark


© 2008, 2009 Twilighted Enterprises, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.
Privacy Policy | Terms of Service

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.