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Reviewer: silly sad sarah twilighted (Signed) · Date: September 07, 2009 09:00 AM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Eight: You Shook Me All Night Long

Dream Edward!!  Swoon

I loved this chapter!  I love all yor chapters!

I look forward to the next and hopefully soon!

Love teasers!!  Does that mean next chapter is done and waiting???

Post again soon lol SQUEE!



Author's Response:

Hi there silly sad sarah twilighted!

Thanks so much!!!! I'm so happy that you liked this chapter. I worried people would want my head on a stick because I didn't have the date in it, but had I included that section it would have been over 30k. And I might post long chapters....but yeesh, even I couldn't go there. I am currently working on the next chapter. I have not sent it off to my beta. It's about 100 pages, and while the essential plot is there, I have to work on things like transitions and imagery to make sure that everything makes sense and sounds pretty. So I'm not sure how long it will take, but I can safely say it's 3/4ths of the way written.

Squeeing right back atcha!

Books

Reviewer: June (Signed) · Date: September 07, 2009 08:41 AM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Eight: You Shook Me All Night Long

Wow.  This chapter had a little bit of depravity for everyone, from anal beads to vampire orgies to fondling fruit.  Ahhh, to have been that peach...sorry, kinda pulled an Edward space-out there for a second. 

I loved the interaction between Edward and Eve.  I hope to see more of her "how to love a human" tips in the future.  Also very interesting her relationship with Liam.  I wonder if Bella ever knew about her?   How heartwrenching to have found your mate while in love with another.  I wonder if this story will plague his mind or if he is truly resolved that Bella is the one for him.  Or at least accepted it.  I mean, we know it and they know it.  Hell, Jugurtha and SSE know it, but poor Edward always seems to be the last to know.

Lysistrata - excellent analogy!  I feel like this story should come with a study guide and recommended supplementary reading list.  You are making us smarter for having read this.

I was also surprised by Violet Gorgon.  Surely she's not just using Bella to find her kids?  I'm with Jasper on this one - I don't trust it a bit.  Also, on a side note, I was at a bar with friends this weekend and off-handedly referred to someone as a violet gorgon, which garnered sideways glances.

Wonderful chapter, as always!  Can't wait for the next.  There's going to be kissing in it, isn't there?  You can tell me...I promise I won't tell anyone else.  Well except SSE, he's pretty fun to torment.



Author's Response:

Hi there June! How are you? I had a reviewer coin a term that I am most definitely going to have to use it made me laugh so hard. FrUST. It's the new rage with Edward and those pesky peaches and apples. Totally with you on the peach business. And just think, he's arranged to have a basket of them hidden in the forest for, ahem, research.

As of right now, I plan on having Bella being completely ignorant of Eve. She's never laid eyes on her. Liam spent time with Eve away from the house and remember that Bella was only with them on holidays and the summer. So Liam could spend all the time he wanted with Eve for the majority of the year. Then Bella would come and he would spend as much time with her as he could. The spirits in the scene in the cave did say that Liam had wanted Bella left supernaturally ignorant of them. And Liam traded his cooperation with the Vancouver coven in exchange for their protection of Bella. That's where the treaty came from. And although he's dead, and they are under no obligation to honor it, Eve is invoking it. You'll have to wait and see what happens with Eve's advice - that will be coming out in the next few chapters. She's not done talking to him.

I had to read Aristophanes my freshman year of college. And it popped into mind when writing this chapter. I'm glad you liked the reference. :) I like throwing in a few of them here and there (like the Monkey's Paw). And if you haven't read the rules on being an evil overlord that I put in the front snarky author's note, you should definitely check them out. They aren't high literature, but they are hysterical.

Violet Gorgon was telling the truth to Edward that she found the portal in Bella by chance and seized it to find her child when she sensed her spirit. But I'm with you in that I don't trust her a bit. Totally laughing about the bar bit. When I watched Army of Darkness, I found myself repeating lines from it that would make people stare at me like I had three heads, "Lady, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the store." is a personal favorite of mine.

I can tell you in the next few chapters there will be lip action. Swear. :)

As ever, thanks so much for your insightful reviews that always make me think. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: AliciaZA (Signed) · Date: September 07, 2009 07:21 AM · On: Chapter 5: Indecent Exposure at the Thriftway on Aisle Three: Shameless Hussy Part One

R/N: Its amazing how your perspective matched mine (lol). I never got how Bella suddenly 'discovered' she was in love with that dog Jacob after kissing him (pause for gagging and vomiting). The fact that SMeyer had to tell me that Bella fell in love with the mongrel in NM shows how little sense it made (rolling my eyes). Have to also mention I love reading your replies and thoughts behind why you had a specific character act a certain way or wrote the chapter in a particulay way. Adds so much meaning and subtext!

I love your Tanya - she's so self absorbed she can't help but be funny (lol). And those suprisingly bursts of kindness just kind of blindside you. But shew, I knew Tanya was skanky but I thought she had standards. Her and Jacob - blah. Feel sorry for her, she doesn't need bleach, she's needs an autoclave (hehe). You absolutely killed me though with Jacob having performance issues (lmao) - I adore you!

Bella's thoughts on driving Edward mad with passion to the point of taking her in the aisle in the grocery store were hilarious (snorting with laughter). And Edward was so sweet feeling bad about the bachelor party. But Bella's right to be afraid. After the prank he pulled on Jasper, theres no telling what Edward will do to Bella after he finds out (chuckles wickedly).

It so sweet that Marcus and Aro have a soft spot for Bella! How on earth that happened is what I want to know?! OMG, I adore Aro!! Him and Caius were downright hysterically funny when they discussed and asked Bella about her underwear (rolling around laughing and clutching my tummy). PLEASE say they will be more of Aro, Caius and Marcus later in the story.

Awesome chappie. Rushing off to read and review the next...



Author's Response:

Hi there AliciaZA!

Thanks so much for the review! I wanted to toss the book - and don't even get me started on BD, when I had to go to SM's FAQ's on her website to find out that Bella actually had really truly fallen in love with Jake in NM and just didn't know it. Apprently the author didn't either when they told her what to do when controlling her writing as she claims in interviews. No disrespect intended, but that part of the story did not work for me at all. I never accepted that a Romeo/Juliet star crossed lover couple would have a third party in the relationship - especially one that was depicted all along as a manipulative friend - and not much of one.

I wanted Tanya to be fun in this story. I think she gets a raw deal in a lot of fanfiction being characterized as the evil bitch. I wanted her to be naughty, definitely naughty, and unpredictable as well. And I wanted people to like her even though she sometimes does things that make you scratch your head - having sex with Jake anyone? Of course I had to make Jake have performance issues, I wanted to portray him as the ultimate optimist in not thinking ahead and having hubris.

The main point of this arc is to show how, specifically about sex, Edward and Bella are not communicating. Instead, they are plotting with others. You'll learn about their backstory - which is totally different than in the books in the Heart of Darkness arc.

I had fun with Aro. I liked the idea of him being fascinated with humans. Usually he just eats them, but they are so cute from time to time, and he is genuinely curious about them. When he's not tearing out their throat that is. He is, after all, a historian. You will see more of Aro, Caius and Marcus in the story although they are not main characters. Swear.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Sheeijan (Signed) · Date: September 07, 2009 06:35 AM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Eight: You Shook Me All Night Long

Edward still hasno idea why Bella was upset before. That's not exactly progress or growth for him. At least he's gotten past it, but there's nothing to say he won't repeat the same mistake. Oh well. But hey, there's exciting progress with the VG. She isn't interested in Bella after all. And Edward got to school the idiots he has as brothers. Oh we can forget about Eve, who decided it was so important that Edward practice his kissing that she let her presence known. I was ecstatic that the family got a taste of what Edward is laboring under though. They were under a misconception I think. It is worrisome that he's losing weight though. Can he regain it?

Thanks for the update!

Author's Response:

Hi there Sheeijan!

Thanks for the review! I'm going to have to disagree with you on the point about Edward. I am more than willing to state that I might not have been as clear in my writing of the section as I should have been. :)

He doesn't fully understand that Bella wants him as a boyfriend - he thinks she might possibly.....but please re-read this section:

I let the silence stretch out before I answered, haltingly. The roses fascinated me all of a sudden. They seemed to lean closer in order to listen. Jugurtha was right. They did have aphids. "Most times I have no idea how to act around people. So I say nothing. I'm sorry saying nothing hurt you the other day. I did not know what you wanted to do." This telling the truth business occasionally worked despite that whole given the opportunity I'd prefer to hammer railroad spikes through my tongue than feel this way again. I didn't have to feign the forlorn sound in my words. "I thought remaining quiet showed you respect and trust." There, that sounded feminist. I think. I held my breath waiting for her response.

"How?"

"It was your choice whether or not you wanted to accompany Tyler. And he did not seem romantically interested in you so much as attempting to use you to annoy Lauren." I left out the part that I'd dismantle any car she ever set foot in that had him at the wheel before he could contemplate cranking the key in the ignition.

She asked him why he didn't help her, as her Fake Boyfriend with Tyler. What she really means is, "I thought you were attracted to me. And I felt rejected and mortified after the way you behaved that you sat there and said nothing when I got asked out in front of the school."

He tells her up above that he's really not good with people and doesn't know how to behave half the time, and that he's very sorry that not saying anything hurt her feelings. He's hinting that he's interested in her by pointing out that he said nothing because Tyler did not appear to be romantically interested in her - therefore he did not feel threatened. He's also being a bit skeevy in saying, "I was trying to not be possessive and let you decide if you wanted to hang out with this guy as a friend." In a way that's kind of unfair because he's telling her that despite her expectations that he should have said something, he expected her to make up her own mind (thereby letting him  know if she was interested in HIM by rejecting Tyler), and stand on her own two feet - not relying on him to do the talking for her. This actually is growth for him. He didn't try to crush Tyler - especially considering the vision he'd had of Tyler and Bella that caused him to blow up bridges in the forest. He didn't lose his temper at the table when Tyler asked her out - another huge accomplishment for him - and considering he was in so much pain and juggling so many things, to me it would have been so easy for him to lose focus and discipline and crush Tyler on the spot.

You are dead on accurate in that the two of them, in the way they communicated haven't really resolved the issue - which leave the door wide open for them to mess up again. To me, that's more like real life. You have a conflict - and you settle it in the short term, but don't look to the long term. And when you have two really shy people in the opening stages of a romance when every word is calculated, weighed and agonized over.....I don't think it would have been realistic for me to write the two of them having this perfect textbook conflict resolution scene (and I don't think you were asking me too, either). I think you are very safe in stating that the Violet Gorgon sees Bella as a tool, nothing more.

I have to admit that I liked the idea of him asking the spirits for his brothers to get a taste of what he'd been going through and the spirits saying, "Screw it, all you bastards are getting schooled - except for Bella, of course." Since Edward would rip his tongue out before admitting everything in terms of the pain he's going through to his family - to me that was a way for them to gain some understanding on him. In my mind, part of why Emmett and Jasper played the joke was not just because they thought they were still following the letter of the law as laid down by Carlisle and having fun with Edward, but because that's their way of male bonding with each other - and they were trying ever so gently in their mind, to not only include Edward in that teasing (therefore building closeness with him in their minds) but they also are worried that he needs to see sexual activity so that he's not experimenting in the dark so to speak with Bella. And to them, having him watch the newborns served both as a lesson and a forewarning. They are genuinely afraid he could kill Bella in his inexperience - which is why they had that talk with him after Heartbeats and Lullabies. They just don't really know how to go about hammering that point home with him, so they try indirect things like that prank.

Eve, to me served as a wonderful narrative device on several levels. Edward won't really listen to his family's advice concerning dating humans because he doesn't see them as experienced (except for Jasper and he's not quite sure the extent of Jasper's experience since Jasper hasn't spilled. Eve on the other hand, tells him that she loved Liam for 40 years and then, much to her surprise her mate showed up. And even though she fell head over heels for her mate, it didn't take away from the fact that she loved Liam. I haven't written it into the story yet (just hinted) - Eve never got the chance to explore whether or not she could resist the mate bond. Liam walked away from their relationship because he wanted her to be happy. And he wanted to give her the freedom to choose. But deep down inside, he truly believed that he had lost her forever. And he died a month later. And Eve has been devastated ever since. There's this concept called the illusion of invulnerability - the idea that bad things are more likely to happen to other people around you than they are to YOU. And Edward is a textbook case of it after listening to Eve. But her words will start to sink in.

I haven't written Edward as gaining weight yet, but I don't see any reason why he can't. In my mind, the Quileute powers and the strain of using them literally has changed his metabolism. Due to his heart starting and stopping he has these human-like symptoms although he is fully vampire. So to me, it made sense that he would lose weight. I also wanted to toy with the idea that SM had that vampires never change physically. The fact his weight had fluctuated, to me, floored his family - when they found out he'd lost four pounds.

Am already working on the next chapter. If the section above didn't make sense, please feel free to PM me.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: BellaS (Signed) · Date: September 06, 2009 10:04 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Eight: You Shook Me All Night Long

I'm so happy that Edward is referring to Bella as his girfriend. We are getting so close to them being together now.

I can't believe that Edward was able to pull that prank on Jasper and Emmett...it was hilarious that the guys almost fell for it.

The end was probably the best when Edward gave Bella his smile from the future. It was just too sweet!



Author's Response:

Hi there BellaS!

Thanks so much for the review! I had loads of fun with the prank, particularly the fact that it was so audacious that Emmett never suspected that he was being played. Jasper, too. Give Edward a script, get Bella out of the room, make him inspired and the boy can act his butt off. He's more comfortable pretending to be someone other than himself.

Future Edward is beaming at you.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Merrisol (Signed) · Date: September 06, 2009 08:45 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Eight: You Shook Me All Night Long

Oh, sweet, 6 pound, 7 ounce baby Jesus! I was snickering while reading the first paragraph and continued to the end. Loved the prank on the brothers. What bastards ... lol. I got a particular kick out of the comment about Bella and Edward procreating the quietest family ever. Kissing a doll?? Oh.My.God. That alone was priceless. Thank goodness he was saved from that humiliation. Frust was pure genius. Now, if he will just buck up and kiss her already. I'm afraid this poor boy is going to internally combust, start an earthquake and kill have the residents within a 50-mile radius if he doesn't do something soon. I may internally combust if he doesn't do something soon!!! LOL

I find it quite ironic that I just reread the last chapter last night. It must have been telepathy or perhaps the fact that you sent me an email ... hehe I know you know how I feel about this story. You have one twisted, creative mind, and I absolutely love it!!!! I'm so looking forward to the forest. These two are so shy that holding hands is the equivolent of intercourse to them!! The mere thought of turning Jessica or Mallory, and the result of that, cracked me up. How would anyone ever be able to control two spoiled, whiney, self-centered wenches? That would be worthy of a story itself, or at least an outtake. Turn them and then give them to the Volturi!!! LOL

Love you and this insane story. Can't wait for the next chapter!!!!!!



Author's Response:

Hi there Merrisol!

I swear to God I had a heart attack last night. Here I am vowing to post the chapter and ff.net just sat there and gave me an error message. And I knew because my validating beta vjgm has a bazillion stories that it would take a while for her to put it up bless her overworked heart. :) She can't do that instant posting thing that ff.net can when it decides to cooperate. So I felt terrible. I'm glad that you enjoyed the chapter, and again, thanks so much for your support of this story.

You seem to really "get" CC Edward and Bella,  much to my delight. Holding hands is for Edward when he actually thinks about it, a huge deal. I've been trying to show him increasingly being "touchy" with Bella over the past few chapters and being pretty much oblivious about it. Her, too. Tylergate forced them both into kind of sort of realizing they had a communication problem. Not that they wanted to talk to each other about it. But still. FrUst - OMG, I'm totally using that in the next chapter and crediting you. That is mad genius. :) To me, in Twilight, the kids got lucky given the sharpness SM described of his fangs. And I wanted to at least honor that part of canon and make them every bit as deadly as she described (and then kinda sorta forgot about). To me the simple logistics of kissing a MeyerPire are a nightmare. If the human has chapped lips, he/she is dead. Painfully so. What about gingervitis? No root canals for CC Bella. Flossing alone and then kissing Edward could kill her. Then lets add in CC Edward's little problem with shattering glass, dresser destruction, deforestation, earthquakes. Houston, we have a problem. So to me it made sense that even in denial, he'd have to think about the mechanics of kissing. And it also made sense that he would chew his arm off before asking Jasper about it. Or heaven forbid Carlisle. So to me Eve served a very useful purpose here.

I had so much fun turning Lauren Mallory. And I most definitely promise you that I will be having vampire Lauren make an appearance once we start the final arc. Cause putting her and Jane and Tyler in the same room. I gotta go there.

Thanks so much for your support of my story and amazing reviews that leave me misty-eyed. I'm writing the next chapter as we speak. It's currently at 100 pages. Swear.

Best,

 

Books

Reviewer: fanficreader83 (Signed) · Date: September 06, 2009 08:05 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Eight: You Shook Me All Night Long

loved the nod to "Tylergate," thanks for that!!!  ok so we definitely saw some progress even if edward could only manage "garden?"  he is definitely starting to see that just being honest could work for him, especially because he is so lacking in the current vocabulary department as evidenced by him needing clarification on simple terms like broad...  I was uncomfortable for emmett and jasper but it was perfect revenge for all that they have done (even if Laurent seemed a little too willing to go along ;)  so the happenings with the gorgon were a surprise but I can see why there is probably still a need to be cautious on that front.  it was definitely sad to hear of eve and liam's ill-fated love, especially with eve's news of the failure to turn liam which could affect members of his family, I think that discussion with edward probably forced him to think through his relationship with bella on a deeper level, even if he still doesn't quite grasp what that level is... and on a final note, I have loved all of the build up to this date and kiss.  edward is so desperate to be prepared for it while bella is probably just desperate for it (have to guess on that part)  I am so glad "tylergate" allowed them to finally have to confront what might be going on, bella with her feelings and edward with his understanding that he definitely did not enjoy bella-free time and that maybe there might be more of a reason for that, again, even if he is not fully aware of this yet... loved it and can't wait for more!!!  ;)



Author's Response:

Hi there fanficreader83!

Thanks so much for the eloquent review. I know the pacing of this story has been at times painstakingly slow due to that pesky complicated plot and all. The next chapter is my absolute top favorite thus far. And of course I had to give a shout out to you for "Tylergate" that was an inspired label. :) Because both Edward and Bella are shy, and because Bella in particular is non-confrontational - I wrote what essentially was a typical fight between a man and a woman...the "why can't you read my mind" where she's mad and he's asking why she's mad and that makes her angrier so she withdraws. Edward had to figure out that he'd made her mad, but notice he doesn't still completely get it. He thinks she wants him to call him her girlfriend. He never asks her. And she never specifically tells him what she wants. To me, that was more realistic given that both characters are shy.

The story of Jasper having a girlfriend and NOT being mated to her is what inspired Liam and Eve and Edward's thinking in this chapter. I wanted to have this person who had most definitely experienced hell, warning him -  because aside from Rosalie at the beginning, no one who has any experience with humans has sat him down and asked him to really consider what he's doing. No one that he deems credible. I also wanted to show how naive he is taking a story that is as tragic as that, and simply deciding that couldn't happen to him. He's special. So is his girlfriend. In his mind, it gets him off the emotional hook and offers further support for his marry my singer plan. Since in denial Edward land he's not really in love with her, ergo, he's safe from that pain in his mind. I don't like how when your typical story does a love triangle, it expects the woman to devalue one guy when explaining her love to the other. In my mind Eve thought she loved Liam as much as she could love a human. Finding her mate was a devastating experience. She blames it for being the spark that caused Liam's death. I had a relative of mine who died a bachelor in his upper 90's. I saw a picture of him from when he was young and fanficreader83....I hope if I have kids they get his genes. He was supermodel gorgeous. But he was painfully shy. So he stayed on the family farm and simply worked his entire life. That was my mental model of Liam. Everyone thinks he died a lonely bachelor. And in some ways, he did. But the secret life he led for forty years was astounding.

Bella most definitely would love Edward to kiss her. She's only recently clued in that he's attracted to her and she to him. This is all new to her. And she's probably every bit as scared as he is.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: elphabacy35 (Signed) · Date: September 06, 2009 08:02 PM · On: Prologue: Bella, Sex, and Privacy

I'm scared of Rosalie! Will Starched Shirt Edward protect me from her???



Author's Response:

Hi there elphabacy35!

SSE wants you to know he has a secret stash of holy water. Just for her. He will most definitely protect you. As the nuns told him, there's nothing wrong with feelings provided you don't do anything immoral with them.

 

Best,

Books

Reviewer: sexysadie13 (Signed) · Date: September 06, 2009 08:00 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Eight: You Shook Me All Night Long

Ahh, I must tell you that Jugurtha guest starred in my dream last night.  We locked Starched Shirt Edward in the Library and had him research the Kama Sutra.  It was quite funny.  I've never seen anyone turn that shade of purple before.  I thouroughly enjoyed reading this chapter, and of course, like the addict I am, I'm waiting on my next "hit". I hope it's quick, as detox does terrible things to my body and mind.  I'm starting to itch, really badly.....



Author's Response:

Hi there sexysadie13!

Thanks so much for the review. Jugurtha is fascinated by your dream. He's scheduling time in his planner for one-on-one sessions with you to explore further these visions. He thinks they require personal research. Lots of it. He's dedicated to learning more. For moral purposes, of course. He's got a gleam in his eye as he stares at SSE. Just between you and me, SSE  has actually glanced for a milisecond at a page or twenty of the Kama Sutra. He stayed on the prayer bench for six months in atonement for the lust in inspired in him. Not that he'd admit that to anyone, of course.

 

Working on your next supply. Swear. Literary Drug Dealer's Honor.

Thanks so much for your support of this story!

Books

Reviewer: Ksangi (Signed) · Date: September 06, 2009 07:37 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Eight: You Shook Me All Night Long

*wailing as a Greek chorus would*  Why?  Oh why do you purposely weave this tale in thousands of directions while knowing full well that Edward has been willingly spending time with the mastermind behind this web of deciet?  Am I the only one that can see the truth?!  Well?!  Huh!!  IT'S THE SQUIRREL!! DAMN YOU!!  Sure he may lull Edward into a false sense of security by accepting his nuts and cute name, but he is biding his time and will reveal his true dark, evil, demented squirrely nature as the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler of all things supernatural.  Just wait.  *huff*



Author's Response:

Oh my sweet baby Jesus Ksangi!

I'm going to have to create a character in your honor, you made me laugh so hard I'm wiping tears from my eyes. Oh thank you so much for your review, hon! But you also failed to realize that the evil mastermind could also be......gasps.....bird from Hitchcock who seemed to have mind control over him. He didn't kill crickets for anyone else, you know. Dum...dum....dum...dumm!!!!! *wipes away venom tear* I'm offering you three feather pillows on a silver platter from the Isle of Esme for fiendish creativity.

Giving an evil overlord salute to you,

 

Books

Douglas is raising an almond in your honor.

Reviewer: elphabacy35 (Signed) · Date: September 06, 2009 07:29 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Eight: You Shook Me All Night Long

Oh my poor Starched Shirt Edward. I thought he seemed a little out-of-sorts at church this moring,,,and now I know why!

Great chapter though. I am thinking that Bella is wanting Edward to just make their fake relationship real already (and who could blame her). What are the chances of that happening soon?



Author's Response:

Hi there Elphabacy35!!!,

 

SSE is tugging on my sleeve. He wants me to let you know that he understands your feelings for Emmett. He is content to be your spiritual advisor and help you with said relationship. Although he wants you to know that he is smarter, he thinks than Emmett. We will most definitely be kicking the plot on that relationship business into high gear. Swear.

Thanks so much for the review. :)

 

Books

Emmett is blowing a kiss at you. Rosalie just smacked his head. He thinks it was totally worth it.

Reviewer: Ink02 (Signed) · Date: September 06, 2009 06:11 PM · On: Chapter 1 - Tanya and the Bachelor Party Bet

I am really enjoying your story!! It has been awhile since I have read a fanfiction as good as this !!! 



Author's Response:

Hi there Inko2 (did I spell you pen name correctly?),

Thanks so much for the review! This is my first go at writing any kind of fiction. I'm flattered that you are enjoying it.The first eight chapters are totally skimmable, and the mystery kicks in after that. I hope you enjoy my twisted take on Twilight.

Edward is blowing a kiss at you.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: LJ Summers (Signed) · Date: September 06, 2009 05:03 PM · On: Prologue: Bella, Sex, and Privacy

It's me. I don't know if I told you (because I was thinking of telling you but I'm not sure if I ever typed it out or not) but I went back and reread the first (non HOD) chapter in light of what I have read in the subsequent HOD chapters. And I am VASTLY more amused this time!

I just wanted you to know. Because your talents, foresight and compelling prose are just blowing the socks from my feet.  Or, they would be, if I wore socks.

Personally, I find socks to be evil.  I live in South Florida. They ARE evil.

Anyway.  I feel like I shouldn't even be contributing to the same fanficking universe that you reside within, but am fortunate to be able to bounce at the updates (yes, of course I'm reading the latest at FFN) and to think fondly of SSE and Jugurtha and His Little Bottle Cap.

Still waiting for the telltale MY Bella, and am loving the tension enormously.

 

Many hugs and happy thoughts toward your brilliant self!

 

~LJ



Author's Response:

Hi there LJ Summers!

Wow!!! *blushes Bella red* Thanks so much! I am sincerely humbled by your kind words. And just between you and me, I totally went back and edited every single chapter of the front arc about a month and a half ago and tried to improve it without changing the plot. The writing in that section made me cringe (spelling errors, punctuation, etc.) since I felt like in the midst of the HOD arc I found my rhythm as a writer. I am delighted to hear that the front arc is starting to take on a different meaning. We aren't quite there yet, but I hope by the time I am done with the HOD arc (and believe it or not we will one day in the far distant future get there) that it is a drastic change. Fingers crossed that I can pull it off in the way, I hope.

I have, after living in areas where there were rattlesnakes, scorpions, black widows, and my personal favorite: fire ants, developed a healthy appreciation for socks. But only because I fear those pesky critters. Other than that I would be in sandles every day.

And you have my solemn promise that we will eventually get to "my Bella" and when we do, I hope you'll be as misty-eyed as I was when I wrote it. *sniff* :) At present I'm trying my hand at UST. :)

Thank you SO MUCH for your support of this story. Seriously. :) You made my week.

Jugurtha is pushing SSE out of the way to leer at you, and wink.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: silly sad sarah twilighted (Signed) · Date: September 06, 2009 12:06 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Seven - Oh the Depravity! The newborns and Tyler Crowley Must Die! Not Necessarily in That Order

OMG OMG OK SO I AM FINALLY CAUGHT UP!  

I HAVE NO CLUE HOW YOU DO IT!  THE LONG IN DEPTH CHAPTERS THE DETAILING ALL OF ITS SO OVERWHELMINGLY BEAUTIFUL!  

I wish my chapter wher half as good as yours mind seem like a small wave to your tidal.  a sun shower to you huricane!  You have become one of my ideals and muses!  This was a wonderful chapter I look forward to the next.  

If you ever get some free time I would love for your critque on my story a Test of Fate. 



Author's Response:

Hi there silly sad sarah twilighted!

Aw hon, thanks so much! And I just posted another chapter so start reading - it's up on ff.net. :)

PM me the link and I'd be happy to take a look at your chapter.

Thanks for being my muse, too. :)

 

Books

Reviewer: sexysadie13 (Signed) · Date: September 06, 2009 06:38 AM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Seven - Oh the Depravity! The newborns and Tyler Crowley Must Die! Not Necessarily in That Order

Oh my gosh! I am DYING over here to see the next chapter.  I'm not sure I want a Naughty Tanya on my doorstep for reviewing this at the moment, but I'll take any punishment to see the next chapter.  And the next, and the next, and the next...........



Author's Response:

Hi there sexysadie13!

ff.net rejected the chapter when I posted it last night. And it has rejected the chapter of another author, so I think it's down at present. We both tried this morning with the same result. I did put the chapter into the queue at twilighted.net. Hopefully it will be up soon.

Thanks so much for the review! Tayna is winking at you swearing she wasn't that naughty. Well kinda. But it was for moral purposes, of course.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Merrisol (Signed) · Date: September 05, 2009 10:24 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Seven - Oh the Depravity! The newborns and Tyler Crowley Must Die! Not Necessarily in That Order

I love the things he does for "research" purposes or "moral" purposes. Bless his heart. I just want to hug him sometimes! Hopefully someone gives him a few pointers before he goes on his date with Bella.



Author's Response:

Oh my sweet baby Jesus Merrisol!

You are my 1,000 review! You have made my day. my night. my month. Many thanks. And just because you're special. I'm posting the next chapter. Right now. You'll have to go to that other ff.net site because it'll take a while in the queue over here. But still.

Edward is blowing kisses at you.

Books

Reviewer: spicyone94 (Signed) · Date: September 05, 2009 03:50 PM · On: Chapter 1 - Tanya and the Bachelor Party Bet

this is so cool..the ONLY thing i dont like is that bella refers to edward as MY edward....all the time....she wouldnt....its kind of annoying. lol  sorry!   i LOVE everything else!!  rock on!!



Author's Response:

Hi there spicyone94!

Thanks so much for the review! Bella is saying 'My Edward' to Tanya to piss her off in a nice understated kind of way. She doesn't normally talk like that. Swear. And I can totally see how if she did, it would be annoying. I'd want to smack her.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: AliciaZA (Signed) · Date: September 05, 2009 01:21 PM · On: Chapter 4: Homework Was Never Supposed To Be This Much Fun

R/N: Oh you goddess, I will worship you (lol). Finally I have found someone who loathed the ludicriousness of the Bella/Jacob love angle as much as I did and shares my disgust and fury over the kiss. I so totally agree with your opinion and perspective you shared in the last review. Thank you so much! I'm even more excited about the story now that I know there's no love triangle (doing a happy dance).

Great chapter! Yay for Bella - discovering and channelling her inner Bella Cullen. Who knew our sweet and shy Bella coud be so naughty. Yeah, she and Edward definately make a good match (lol). I was so proud of her pulling away from their kiss first (way to go Bella) and her playing with Edward when he feels so gulity (hehe). Aww, I feel so sorry for her at the end when everyone sees her naked butt cheek. I'd want to die on the spot. And Bella is so shy, I'm suprised she hasn't fainted.

These two so need to talk though. They love each other so much that they hurt each other because they don't want to hurt each other. Have to agree with Bella a little though about not telling Edward about her nightmares. He hates himself enough as it is without knowing about her abandonment dreams (sigh).

Every chapter.... better than the last! Off to read the next one...



Author's Response:

Hi there AliciaZA!

Ah, I suspect you and I will get along quite well, my dear. I wanted to gouge my eyes out with sporks after reading about Bella kissing Jacob and whining about their babies and how a tiny little part of her would always cry out for Jacob's arms. Ew. I don't think so. SM spent quite some time establishing a friendship of convenience relationship. I might sound harsh, but Bella was in no shape to pick out her wardrobe much less make any kind of relationship friendship or not. And to market a character like that as "healed" the second she sees her boyfriend to young kids...not cool. I saw Bella's relationship with Jacob in NM as one she formed as a way of getting back at Edward. Jacob as a Quileute member who loathed the tribe was the perfect way in her mind to break her word to Edward. And how much does it suck for Jacob to find out (not that he did) that the girl he hangs out with only wants to spend time with him because he'll do stupid things with her that let her hallucinate that she's hearing another guy's voice? I interpreted Bella running back to Jacob in Eclipse as fallout from not trusting Edward. She didn't IMO trust him not to leave her again, and was using Jacob as an emotional safety blanket. And she also was getting pushed by her Dad to not get back with Edward and go with Jake who Charlie thought was a nice guy - despite that whole forcing himself on his daughter business for a kiss.

In CC, in the first section, it does come across like there might be a love triangle - and I wrote it that way so that later on in the story I could give a different interpretation. Bella and Jacob in CC don't even know each other. Jacob has spent more time with her father than Bella has - and is, therefore, closer. And Jake in CC is flawed and a jerk, but he has good reasons although they don't excuse his behavior. Jake in CC does not love Bella. So no worries on that front.

I wanted to use the supermarket incident to show just how desperate the situation is with Bella and Edward. They are not communicating and they really should. So instead they are plotting and trying to meet their goals that way - which is not working out so well for either of them thus far. The backstory will start soon and it will be from EPOV and will explain a whole lot of what is going on. Just a heads up, the tone is completely different and HOD one is rather dark, but Edward will lighten up considerably.

As for the nightmares - I have portrayed CC Bella as one who does not give any personal information easily. For her to even have the conversation with Tanya about sex actually shows character development (you'll see in the backstory). So to me it makes sense that she's not going to tell Edward her nightmares - she has plenty of reasons why she doesn't want him to know what they are. Reasons that will be uncovered as the story progresses.

As ever, thanks so much for your feedback and reviews! You made my day. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: AliciaZA (Signed) · Date: September 05, 2009 02:56 AM · On: Chapter 3: Propositions and Practice

R/N: Thanks for the explaination of Edward's gift, it did make lots of sense.

This was a fantastic chapter, they just keep getting better and better! Edward was wicked, teasing Jasper about being gay and having feelings for him (lmao). It continues to suprise and delight me me, just how naughty our repressed Edward is (lol).

I absolutely adore Emmett, my favourite Cullen man after Edward - he's just too funny this overgrown man-child. I have to say though that the Cullen men are being very unfair, Edward in particular, by breaking the spirit of the marriage arrangement he made with Bella. He promised to try and now he's not even going to do that. I mean, I understand their concerns but Bella deserves to have her wedding night as a human cos she's right when she's says its going to feel and be different when she's a vampire. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and rooting for her to have her wedding night experience with Edward while she's still human.

Bella continues to awe me with her brilliance and spunk. Loves how she gets her digs into Tanya (that bit about the curves - inspired, lol). Like how Tanya is reluctantly becoming fond of Bella. And Tanya is naughty sticking the pasty on Bella, Edward is gonna have a conniption fit (lol).

Question: This line '"Ok, Tanya, I've never touched anyone other than Edward and never below the waist with him." Bella was mortified'. Does that mean that Bella never kissed Jacob (like in Eclipse). If its YES, I will prostrate myself at your feet and worship (lol). When gullible Bella kissed that mongrel Jacob in Eclipse, I wanted to burn them both in effigy and throw my copy of Eclipse into the flames for good measure. So I'm desperately hoping that this means she didn't.

 



Author's Response:

Hi there AliciaZA!

Thanks so much for your review! Edward has a rather unusual sense of humor because he's been quiet for so long and now he's teasing his siblings and they aren't quite used to it. So I had a lot of fun with that. I have a lot of fun writing Emmett.

The main premise that you are supposed to see in the first section of CC is that Edward and Bella are both hiding things from each other - there is definitely conflict - they have an impending marriage ceremony - and all is not well. The HOD section will explain just why he's so desperate to keep and yet not keep the marriage agreement. So I will grant you that it does indeed seem unfair at first glance what the Cullen men are planning on doing. And for the record, he promised to "try" but they never agreed on what "trying" entailed. Key point. That. Another thing you should keep in mind is that this is a different plot than the Twilight Saga although it seems like there's no difference (or much) in the first few chapters.

That kissing scene in Eclipse disturbed me on so many levels. Kiss number one Jake forces himself on Bella. And yeah, she punches him, but the fallout from that was handled poorly ESPECIALLY since that book was aimed at a young audience. For Jake to use the "you want me. You just won't admit it" could have been a great example of what type of guys to avoid - and the appeals that are often used to manipulate young girls into relationships. Instead we get this scene tossed in at the end of the book with Bella going, "Oh yeah, he was RIGHT! I didn't know my own emotions - despite being head over heels star crossed lovers with Edward I am in love with Jacob. Waaa!" Please. That was really bad writing on SM's part. If I have to read the FAQ's of her book to find out that she intended to write Bella as truly in love with Jacob because of her characterization in a PAST book - that's lame writing. The Oh yeah, Bella didn't fall in love with Jacob in Eclipse. She fell in love with him in NM was absolute bullshit. Bella was severely depressed, suicidal, having auditory hallucinations, PTSD, catatonia, and borderline anorexia nervosa. Bella was barely in shape to brush her teeth much less fall in love with anyone. So CC will NOT be having a romantic relatinoship with Jacob. At all. And if Eclipse made you that mad (and I can totally relate) then I suppose you will understand what I wanted to do with Breaking Dawn. Way to stake an entire series. Rant over. :)

Fear not. No romance between Jacob and Bella in this story EVER. Scout's honor.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: AliciaZA (Signed) · Date: September 04, 2009 05:36 AM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part Two

A Brilliant chapter (lol). I'm ecstatic that our Edward is not tempted by skank. You tell her Edward!

I have to say I'm absolutely fascinated and in love with the dichotomy that Edward presents. I mean he comes across as being so shy, respectful, old-fashioned, an absolute puritan sometimes with Vulcan self-control but is so suprisingly sweet and kind, always worried about his family's feelings and even Tanya's (not that she deserves it - sniffs dispassionately). And no one even suspects just how naughty Edward is behind his controlled and sober demeanor thinking those very hot, wicked thoughts about what he plans to do with Bella (lol).

I thought it was absolutely hilarious comparing what Tanya thought Edward's non-verbals meant (his attraction) to what he was actually thinking. I loved it and could not stop giggling when, while Tanya is thinking about the two of them having sex, Edward is thinking about what he would like to be doing with Bella (lol).

U absolutely killed me with Jasper directing his lust first at Jane and then at Edward (lmao). That paragraphy and Jasper chanting he's straight had me laughing so hard - just Brilliant!

My favourite line in this chapter has to be though when Edward says Marcus is his hero (lol). I can just imagine them both sitting there dispassionately in this strip club with everyone going crazy and giving them the fish eye.

I'm so excited about Tanya's plan to help Bella seduce Edward and make him suffer. She already drives him crazy doing nothing so I don't think he'll survive her active efforts to drive him wild. I can't wait!! You awe me with your storyline, you really do.

Question: Was Edward blocking Emmett and Tanya when he was speaking to her and thats why he didn't pick up on the bet in their thoughts, or maybe it was the other way around?



Author's Response:

Hi there AliciaZA!

Thanks so much for the review! I loved the irony of Tanya who can have any man in the world (and has) and then comes Edward who does not dislike her, is a perfect gentleman, but truly is not interested in her. She in her thousands of years roaming the world has never had anyone (who lived) tell her "no" on anything - but she sincerely in my mind has never been rejected romantically by a soul. And that literally rocks her world. She becomes obsessed with changing that not because she loves Edward, not even because she's attracted to him. She just doesn't want her perfect record broken. And I liked the idea of Edward being a cipher. That people would NOT know about the interior life he held.

One of the principles of nonverbal communication is that it is ambiguous. And humans use selective perception to interpret reality. I didn't see why vampires should be different, so I wanted to play that up in this chapter. Glad you liked the irony of it. I kind of thought of the idea of Jasper as being short circuited by Tanya. She blasts so much power at him that he literally couldn't cope with it and things went haywire. And to me, that would press all of Jasper's buttons because he is so uptight - and it would make him start questioning his sexuality but also his connection to his mate which is why he fled.

I'm glad you like the seduction storyline. I wanted to use it to "show" that Bella and Edward are not communicating about sex and their feelings about it to the point where Bella is being ridiculous and so is Edward.

In my mind, blocking edward is like child's play. You simply don't think about it. That's it. I thought the idea of people mentally chanting lyrics was silly. It's not hard to avoid thinking of a subject. And Edward's gift does not allow him to rifle through people's brains at will like a filing cabinet. So to me, as long as people avoid thinking about a subject and don't talk about it where he can hear, he'll never clue in. Another thing I wrote into the story is that things can go on around Edward - let's say hypothetically that Emmett messed up and DID think about the bet, Edward still might not understand it if he's distracted or if Emmett thinks about it in an abstract way that doesn't make sense to him. Does that make sense?

Best,

Books

Reviewer: AliciaZA (Signed) · Date: September 04, 2009 01:47 AM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part One

Does Tanya promise not to harass our Edward since we are writing a review (lol)?

Another awesome chapter. I love your Tanya... except when I want to kill her. Times that I love her: when I read about the funny things she did (omg, poor Attila - what a way to go, lmao) and when she says 'She may not have gone to school much, but she had slept her way through the best minds of the millennium and learned a thing or to from them in the process' - absolutely hysterical and inspired! Times I feel sorry for her: when she's a little bit pathetic and desperate (and a little bit gross) by placing mountain lion blood in strategic places (eww) and rubbing herself with Bella's scent. Times I want to pull her hair out and dismember her: when she's so callous and hopeful that Edward will kill Bella on their wedding night and when she refers to Edward as "make MY Edward scream" (grr, scowls menacingly).

Oh God, I love Bella! Way to go girl twisting the knife by wishing Tanya good luck (lol). Edward better watch out, she's gonna give him a run for his sexually repressed self when she becomes a vampire. My poor Bella, Edward and Marcus!! Human Lauren was bad enough (rolling my eyes). I don't even want to contemplate the havoc Vampire Lauren is going to cause for our trio. OMG, I ADORE Aro!! I could so picture the scene you described with him and Tanya's clothes in the strip club, in my head. I just could not stop giggling.

Am loving this story so much. Have to say thank you for replying to the reviews. Not many authors do (can count them on one hand actually). Its really appreciated so I try to leave you longer reviews to tell you how much and just what I love about the chapters.

To end, a question. Is Tanya's gift the ability to project lust? Does Tanya's gift work on women, specifically Bella?



Author's Response:

Hi there AliciaZA,

If you scroll down through my reviews, you will find eons of notes I have all but virtually author stalked people in answering the questions they asked that I could. I believe that if someone is nice enough to read my story and leave feedback, it's the least I can do to thank that person and answer his/her question. I have answered each and every review and will continue to do so. I love hearing from people. It makes my day. So thanks for the feedback. :)

I had a tricky time with Tanya here because, like you pointed out I wanted her to come across as selfish, self-centered, saying horrible things, and then she kinda sorta starts feeling *gasp* friendly towards Bella. And you are right, she is pathetic in that she's chasing after Edward not because she loves him, but because he's a prize. I also tend to think of her as someone who in private will say horrible things (killing Bella) for the sake of shock value, while in her heart of hearts knowing that if that happened to Edward - she knows he'd be devastated.

I did have fun with Bella wishing her good luck (and meaning it even worse). I'm glad you liked Aro - I wanted to write him as just a bit out there in terms of quirkiness.

I see Tanya's gift as the ability to project feelings that make people want HER. Not so much traditional lust. And it could work on women just as well - but not Bella. It has to go through the mind. And Bella's alas is sealed.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: WillowMarie (Signed) · Date: September 03, 2009 05:52 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Seven - Oh the Depravity! The newborns and Tyler Crowley Must Die! Not Necessarily in That Order

I love this story...I've been following it since the HOD chapters, and I eagerly await each and every chapter!  Thanks for being such a unique and interesting story-maker.  I laugh aloud all the time while reading.  It's great.  Keep it up, I'm addicted.



Author's Response:

Well hello there WillowMarie!

I have a weeping willow outside of my window so I love your pen name. :) Thank you so much for your kind words! I am awed, and astounded that my twisted sense of humor translates into words and entertains people. I am currently working on your next dose. Swear. :) I love hearing from people so thanks for making my day.

Best,

Books

 

Jugurtha is blowing kisses at you. He elbowed Starched Shirt Edward out of the way to do so. :)

Reviewer: Robs_Muse (Signed) · Date: September 03, 2009 12:55 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Seven - Oh the Depravity! The newborns and Tyler Crowley Must Die! Not Necessarily in That Order

I really enjoyed this chappie! I love the chaos that ensues and love seeing the mean ones get it. Hehehehe. Yup, I'm evil like that. Starched Shirt Edward prolly needs to pray for me. I also gush at how you've written poor clueless Edward. I think Bella will whip him into the 21st century soon enough. That I can't wait to see. Well, I can hope anyway. You're writing is wonderful as you can plainly tell by the ever growing list of muses. Now, bring on the bad guy butt-whoopin! (Sorry, just got done watching Robots with my 4 year old)

Much fangirl love to ya!

Author's Response:

Hi there Robs_Muse!

I'm overjoyed you liked the chapter. I was worried - really worried about coming up with something that came across as twisted as the previous one. So I had to tear out a section and rewrite it because it just wasn't working. To me, Edward only makes sense as being clueless because he's never really paid attention to the humans around him, and when his sibligs fight he ignores them out of courtesy. I also thought that one can be a good judge of what is going on with the people around you and completely blind in your own life - which is how I'm writing Edward. And Edward is going to get whipped into the century. Promise. We'll have fun getting him there.

Squeeing fangirl love right back atcaha!

Books

Reviewer: AliciaZA (Signed) · Date: September 03, 2009 12:55 PM · On: Chapter 1 - Tanya and the Bachelor Party Bet

Oh you are naughty! I want to know what the honeymoon bet is too!!

OMG, Bella is now officially my idol! That girl is a rockstar. I'm so proud of her for needling Tanya about wrinkles, sagging, her writing, lies - it was just freaking hilarious (lol). And I swear that Emmett and Jasper absolutely killed me when they nodded their head about the sagging (lmao). And with that bet about the bachelor party, Edward, stripper Tanya and killing three birds with one stone - she proved she was born to be a Cullen for sure (smirks happily).

Adore your Denalis in the fanfic, they are so funny!! I imagine them as being very similar to the crazy and hilariously funny Russian model from that Freddie Prinze Jnr movie Head over Heels (giggles). And I tremendously admire and adore you Bella - who's so sweet and shy and yet assertive in a very understated, ladylike but extremely effective way. Makes it even worse for her targeted victim (hehe). Amazing plotline - you rock too!



Author's Response:

Hi there AliciaZA!

It is so helpful to hear what parts of a character resound with a reader - thank you so much for your feedback. I have had so much fun with Tanya (she's waving her fingertips at you) and Bella (who is blushing) in this story. And that Edward fellow, too.

I liked the idea of making Bella efficient in vengeance. It brought a smile to my face.

Many thanks,

Books

Reviewer: redsoxlove (Signed) · Date: September 03, 2009 09:07 AM · On: Prologue: Bella, Sex, and Privacy

HOW DO I GET TO THIS THREAD YOU KEEP SPEAKING OF?

AND OH MY GOD I'M TOTALY DENSE. i forgot that the pornstar immortals last name was newborn..soo duh, thats what you mean when you say the newborns! obviously if they were actualy newborns they wouldn't beable to have orgys with humans because of thier bloodlust. wow, minor brain malfunction..lol

i do nderstand, in fact the other day i was mad that this guy didn't get me a coffee when he got one..lol..did i ask for one..no..was i mad anyway? haha yes! and i'm 28..bella's only 17.  and of course she would rather die then tell rose or alice that she wants thier brother but is upset because of the mixed signals. i forget that that WE know he wants to be her real boyfriend..but of course without making a move and the fake dating and all the confusing signals..she would have no idea at all.

tell starched shirt edward that i know what he did and he better go pray to st eugene the patron saint of dysfunctional families! he's fun to mess with it'll drive him nuts wondering  ;)



Author's Response:

Hi there redsoxlove! To get to the forum go to the top of the screen and click on forum. In order to participate you have to register separately for them and you will have a separate password. Once you get the email from Edward giving you the password and link for you to officially join the forum, you may find many of your favorite stories. Mine is on the AU forum.

Hope that helps.

And don't feel bad many people were confused by the pesky newborn dealio. Thanks so much for the feedback and you certainly have a good grasp on Bella.

Best,

Books

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