Your donations help keep this site running,
thank you very much for the support!
Reviews For Cullenary Coupling
Reviewer: Nyaris (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2009 05:58 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Nine - How 'Bout 'Dem Apples?

Amagad Books !

I've been neglecting your story. (I'm sure Starched Shirt Edward wouldn't mind giving me a spanking, YEAH Really !)  I didn't receive the email for the story update. So tonight, I'm chatting to a friend and she tells me she is reading the last chapter for Cullenary Coupling. And I Pfffttt her, since I already read it. Old news and so on...

Anyway, she finishes it and starts talking about Bella going all ninja on some badass vampires... Waa? I haven't read that ! Know what she did? She pffft'ed me !

I devoured it. Bella knew. But I'm only half surprised. Because even though they had all the thingies to look as much human as possible, she always used to be very observant. And she's so loyal. She wouldn't tell a soul, ever. It for sure makes things easier for Edward. To a certain point, that is.

And poor Sam :/ I didn't see that one coming.

And I have a question for you, my dear Books, since I've been thinking about it for quite a while. Did you ever mention at some point of your story Bloody Banshee's son? At all? I don't know why, something tells me there's something odd in this bit. As if it was right in front of our noses, somehow. 

And a jazz clap for you, because you always know what you're on about. Here in France, GHB has been a very commonly used drug for a couple of years. They even used to call it "Rape's Drug" at some point. Hence why I always keep my thumb in my beer bottle when I go out. 

As a thank you, here's my favourite classical piece ever. It's by Nobuo Uematsu. Gives me goosebumps every single time. Maybe it'll help with your inspiration :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLnZ5jcsRpc

big hugs Books, take care :)



Author's Response:

Well Hello There Nyaris!

Thanks so much for the amazing review. I used to live in Germany and Italy, but alas never made it to France. *sniffs*

I posted the chapter on a holiday weekend here in the States so didn't expect it to get read quickly. And it was a 28k chapter. So you are totally forgiven. :)

I wanted people after reading this chapter to be able to go back and re-read the HOD arc because the way I wrote it, there are in-jokes and some observations that pop out now that you know she knows. And is totally humoring him and his family.

One day. GHB has been a problem in the United States for several years, as has Rohypnol and Ketamine. I did not want to write a "bella gets raped" story. I DID want to put in a message about safety while giving a nod to the Port Angeles scene in canon. And if it helps just one reader, then I've done my job. The web site I linked educates readers about the drugs and gives safety tips.

Twilighted.net sometimes gets wonky on the story alert updates. To be on the safe side, this story is also posted on fanfiction.net, and you can alert it there. I've had readers do that because they found ff.net's system to be more reliable.

This is the link to my profile on that site:

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1657796/

You are quite observant as well because I have not made any mention of Violet Gorgon's son in the story aside from her mentioning that he exists and they need to find him. I don't mind you thinking that I've put something before your noses. Cause I kinda sorta have. *evil grin*

I didn't like the way imprinting was presented in the books. And I really didn't like the way that Sam and Emily's relationship was portrayed. Mind you, we only got to hear about it from Jacob's perspective, but I found the idea of a young woman being approached by her close as a sister cousin's fiance and told "I love you and you are mine now," and having her reject him decisively, get mauled, and then accept his suit....disturbing. And for Jake to say, "What kind of person could turn away from that kind of love," my answer is "oh logical rational ones..." I didn't see the story working out any other way than how I had written it. For them to ask Book Leah to be a bridesmaid.....to me was the height of cruelty.

Thanks so much for the music!

I have not heard of that classical piece and most definitely will listen to it.

Here's what I think of when I think of Edward's rebellious years:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEllLECo4OM

And here's a song that reminds me of their relationship. "Into Temptation" by Crowded House

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MXKZUX8XgY

 

Thanks so much for your amazing review and kind words. And music, too!

You spoil me!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: BrunetteDevil (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2009 04:08 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Two - Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know

she isnt property. she is a human being. GR! nice chappie btw!



Author's Response:

Hi there BrunetteDevil!

Thanks for the review. You are exactly right. She is not property. And she is most definitely a unique individual. Edward is going to be learning that the hard way in this story. The way I framed it, due to Edward's influence (And fear of Jasper losing it) the Cullen children have kept humanity at arm's length. Carlisle and Esme interact with them and get to know people beyond surface knowledge. But they still talk about humans as "other" if you look at the conversation in HOD one. And they have a vampire superiority complex, too, despite that whole not wanting to kill humans lifestyle. So Edward is horrified to discover this pull that a human has over him. Vampires see them as cattle. They try to see them as individuals but only just. So he refers to her as "my human" and "my singer" for two reasons. First, he's never had anything he felt he could call "my" because he sincerely does not understand that the Cullens love and accept him. So to him that is an endearment. Second, he's constantly reminding himself by thinking it of her importance to him, of her role in his life. It's self-persuasion at its best.

CC Edward is rock stubborn. I hope you enjoy my twisted take on him. Thanks so much for the feedback!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: redsoxlove (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2009 06:54 AM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Eight: You Shook Me All Night Long

i am not neglecting you, i lost the internet..i have it back now, i'll cath up!



Author's Response:

Lost the Internet. Gah! The torture! Hon, I'm feeling your pain, and sending good thoughts to you.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Fitten (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2009 05:21 AM · On: Chapter 5: Indecent Exposure at the Thriftway on Aisle Three: Shameless Hussy Part One

and Jane didn’t think Bella wanted her first time to be in Thriftway in front of all these humans...

I should think not. Naughty Tanya.



Author's Response:

Hi there Fitten,

Had to give Jane some personality, there. :)

Thanks for the review!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Fitten (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2009 04:59 AM · On: Chapter 4: Homework Was Never Supposed To Be This Much Fun

Only dear Edwrad could be more mortified watching Bella molest cucumbers in the supermarket than having Tanya publically rub her droopy pasties all over his cheek.

Tanya does (or attempts to..) Jacob - holding her nose! that's so funny.



Author's Response:

Hi there Fitten,

When you get further into the heart of darkness arc, you will totally understand why Edward is more mortified by one than another. Swear.

And yeah, I had to go there with Tanya and Jacob. Girl is definitely determined.

Thanks for the review!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Fitten (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2009 04:24 AM · On: Chapter 3: Propositions and Practice

Mike thinks he's fainted in ecstacy? methinks Tanya's instruction will play havoc with the boys big honeymoon deception...



Author's Response:

Hi there Fitten,

Mike, the eternal optimist. Even in the face of reality. I didn't want to make him evil - just pervy. And you are right, Tanya could definitely make the honeymoon hell.

Thanks for the review!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Fitten (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2009 04:01 AM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part Two

oh yeah, droopy boob syndrome, its nasty.



Author's Response:

Dear Fitten,

The average woman is larger on one side than another. I just had Bella take what was "normal" and point it out to Tanya as if it was a flaw. Tanya is too mad to use reason. And too vain. Because she is the prettiest of them all.

Thanks for the review. :) Hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Fitten (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2009 03:41 AM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part One

ungh, Eddies in trouble...



Author's Response:

Oh he most definitely is, Fitten. Most definitely!

Thanks for the review!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Fitten (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2009 03:24 AM · On: Chapter 1 - Tanya and the Bachelor Party Bet

eeeeeeeee! woops sorry Lauren...! Edward is noot going to know what hits him, Tanya's on a mission...



Author's Response:

Hi there Fitten!

Yeah, I had to go there with Lauren. I'm going to have so much fun waaaay down the road describing her as a vampire.

Edward most definitely is going to be floored. And Tanya.....girl is so going to lose.

Thanks for the review!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Fitten (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2009 03:06 AM · On: Prologue: Bella, Sex, and Privacy

h ha ha Tanya is a great character, lots of laughs and sexual innuendo expected!



Author's Response:

Hi there Fitten!

Thanks so much for the review! I have had so much fun with Tanya in this piece. She's a hoot.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: pomme_de_terre (Signed) · Date: September 14, 2009 07:59 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Eight: You Shook Me All Night Long

Oh my gosh!  This was such a fun chapter!  The practical joke was perfect!  I could almost see Em squirming and Jasper hiding his ... package... in the bush.  Double entendre much?  My apologies!

I'm a little concerned about the immortal who loved Liam's warning to Edward.  But I trust the story that you are telling and will give that time to unfold.

Great twist on the Gyrfalcons!  Victory indeed.

I can't wait to see this kiss....

So sorry I fell behind on reviews!  RL got in the way, I'm afraid!

Thanks for writing!

 



Author's Response:

Hi there pomme_de_terre!

Thanks so much for the review! And hon, no need to apologize. I'm happy for any feedback I receive. And I'm totally snorting at the pun. :)

I'm glad you enjoyed the joke. I had loads of fun dreaming it up. I liked the idea of all the squabbling clans agreeing on just one thing - the symbol. And then spending generations trying to kill each other to earn the right to use it.

FitzCadaver is fluttering his wings at you.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: oncebitten (Signed) · Date: September 14, 2009 06:13 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Nine - How 'Bout 'Dem Apples?

Hi books,

               Once again you had me completely enthralled !!! Just when I think I have you figured out,BAM you go and pull a fast one on me!! I'd never would of guess that Bella already knew what they are, but now I see how that fits in with the story . You are a genious,your mind truly works in misterious ways my snarky little friend ;0 Well done you rock as always.

                                           ttyl, oncebitten



Author's Response:

HI there oncebitten!

Thanks so much for the awesome review! I am overjoyed that you never saw Bella coming. That was the plan. Of course, I'll never be able to pull a fast one on anyone again for the rest of the story. *sniffs away venom tear* But still.

Thanks for supporting my story!

Best,

Books

Jugurtha is leering at you.

Reviewer: Forthelove (Signed) · Date: September 14, 2009 03:15 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Nine - How 'Bout 'Dem Apples?

And their little dog, too! Hahaha whooo!

I shall embark upon my homework gladly in hopes that it will keep me occupied until the next chapter. This is my absolute favorite fanfic ever! You completely rock! I almost wish this story would never end. I am thrilled at how long and complex and detailed it is.

Poor Sam, Leah, and Emily. What a train wreck. This is going to be a nightmare for everyone.

I was just thinkin'... didn't Jacob become a wolf?! I could swear... why the hell would they make him a wolf?!?!  Ok random I know but I can't help myself. Need to go back and reread because I.am.confused. This is what you do to me.

Ah, Books.

You still rock. :-P



Author's Response:

Hi there Forthelove!

Thanks so much for the review!! I'm so happy that you are enjoying the story cause writing that chapter took forever - I started it in December and kept rewriting it. Considering I have the longest fanfic on this site, you might get your wish.

I didn't like the way imprinting was presented in the Books. Jacob seemed to be arguing that even though Emily loved Leah like a sister and was really mad that Sam had imprinted on her (causing him to phase and attack her) everyone felt so bad they ended up together. Hmm, not a good message to send to kids reading a YA book, I think. Emily in NM came across as the Stepford Wolf Girl.

You are absolutely correct, Jacob in the front arc of the story is a wolf. Wonder how that happened? Tune in to As the Human Turns. :)

You rock, too.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Kaydence (Signed) · Date: September 13, 2009 05:06 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Nine - How 'Bout 'Dem Apples?

Awesome chapter! It was completely enthralling-i felt like I couldn't read fast enough!!

Author's Response:

Hi there Keydence!

Thanks so much! I have been re-writing it since December. Literally. I'm delighted that you enjoyed it as I've never written suspense before. And I consider it high praise indeed that you wanted to read it quickly. You just made my night, dear.

 

Starched Shirt Edward is winking at you.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: BellaS (Signed) · Date: September 13, 2009 04:19 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Nine - How 'Bout 'Dem Apples?

This is my favorite chapter so far. It was so exciting and so many different things happen. I have been waiting for the shift in their relationship--how they act and speak around each other. It seems like we're almost there.

I love that Bella knew this whole time about Edward and didn't say anything.

It was really funny when Edward popped in a mint strip to prevent blood breath which is a good idea in Bella's case because she would be able to smell and identify the animal a mile away.

 



Author's Response:

Hi there BellaS!

Thanks so much for the review! I felt like I was going to have to be really careful with canon because in some ways I'm going to be more faithful to it than SM was. The mere logistics of kissing a MeyerPire - as a writer, are frustrating. If Bella has gingevitis, bye bye mortality. Chapped lips, too. So Edward has to constantly be even more vigilant. And I felt like they had to work up to that kiss. Also, the books never, to my memory dealt with how he'd go hunting and she would know or not know if he'd eaten, which is why I've had Edward developing an obsession with keeping his teeth and mouth blood free. I would think Bella would gag, too, if she smelled blood on his breath.

I had a lot of fun with her talking to him in this chapter, thanks so much for your appreciation of it. I wanted Bella to sneak up on everyone, Edward included.

 

Jugurtha is throwing rose petals at your feet.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: AliciaZA (Signed) · Date: September 13, 2009 11:02 AM · On: Chapter 7: The Webers - Flowers and Pasties for Jesus

Tanya is just so funny. She's like a naughty madam, with LOTS of experience (lol). And Emmett, OMG - he suffers from a definate case of foot-in-mouth syndrome (lmao). After Edward, Emmett is my favourite Cullen - he's just hilarious! The poor Webers, probably wondering just whats happening with the crazy Cullens and their entourage. As for me, I'm like Tanya just waiting for the wedding reception when all the lunatic inmates of this comic caper will be in the same place. I'm expecting some hilarious happenings...

P.S. I'm so glad you didn't cut out this chapter. It was FANTASTIC!!!



Author's Response:

Hi there AliciaZA!

I love Emmett. In my mind, there's no way that someone could have his head squashed like a pumpkin by a bear and come out normal after being turned. So I've written him as disabled due to a brain injury. He's impulsive and will blurt things out. And He knows it but tries to deal with it. And Tanya - oh so much fun in that scene to get her in the room with poor Ben Cheney.

You're about ready to start the backstory. HOD 1 is gloomy HOD 2 is hysterical. Hope you enjoy!

Thanks so much for the awesome reviews!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: silly sad sarah twilighted (Signed) · Date: September 13, 2009 08:14 AM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Nine - How 'Bout 'Dem Apples?

Wow complete adoration!  

This story is so beuatiful and entertaining and just wow!  

I love it and I can't wait for the next chapter!

I love the long chapters they make for a great day or twos worth of reading!  

Thanks again post again soon!



Author's Response:

Hi there Silly Sad Sarah Twilighted!

Thanks so much! I worked my tail feathers off on that chapter. I'm glad that you enjoyed it and my work paid off. I am already working on the next installment.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: AliciaZA (Signed) · Date: September 13, 2009 07:53 AM · On: Chapter 6: Lies, Dreams, and Schemes

Jacob is a rat bas*ard, douchebag, jerkoff, slimeball, human excrement, filthy premature ejaculator!!! I would have added more but I was running out of disgusting adjectives for him. Someone needs to castrate that boy, pronto!! First of all, why does the dickweed consider himself Bella's best friend (growls menacingly)? Bella told Jacob that she loves Edward more than she loves him - implying that she loves Jacob as well (clutching my stomach as lunch threatens to make a return appearance)?! HOW?!... WHY?!.... HOW (Crying and throwing a fit any emotionally disturbed two year old would be proud off)?!!!

Jane is so funny with her shenanigans with Tyler. He's like her own human pleasure pet (giggles). I'm amazed, and find it so endearing, that Jane is protective of Bella as well. I cannot believe that Aro, Marcus and even Caius are so supportive of Bella and Edward's wedding and actually have a soft spot for Bella. I must read and find out how this miracle came to be. I find it fascinating.

Seth absolutely killed me with the line that he needs therapy and telling Quill to hold him (lmao). Seth is now my hero for telling for telling the mongrel Jacob (with his stone age era views on women) how pathetic he is for asking Edward to go away so he can have a chance with Bella.

Aw, poor Bella. I feel so bad for her. Edward's actions, while understable, are having an impact on her already low self-esteem. I so hope Edward takes Carlisle's advice. Bella's normal, to-be-expected bridal jitters are just being magnified exponentially with the whole supernatural being added to the mix. Ooh, I'm so intrigued by Bella's darker motivation for seducing Edward!! What could it possibly be....



Author's Response:

Hi there AliciaZA!

I feel you are holding back on your impression of Jacob. Tell me how you really feel. :) LOL. Relax, Jacob in CC calls himself her best friend, but he's not. He does so because he's been pressured since he was a little kid by his father to marry Bella (more on that later). And he also is not the sharpest tool in the shed, so he comes up with these hair-brained schemes that don't work. I started off the first arc of the story sounding very canon-esque. You are about ready to hit the backstory which will explain the first arc so that it has a different meaning.

I'm glad you enjoy Jane and Tyler. And yes, the Volturi have a soft soft for Bella - well, two of them - and that, too will come out in the backstory.

I wrote this part of the story to set up the conflict that makes Edward taka a jaunt down memory lane. You'll soon learn he has a whole lot to apologize for. :) But you'll laugh al ot in the process.

Thanks so much for reviewing!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: AliciaZA (Signed) · Date: September 13, 2009 02:05 AM · On: Chapter 5: Indecent Exposure at the Thriftway on Aisle Three: Shameless Hussy Part Three

Hehehe, Tanya was so funny in this chapter. I know her actions were a bit self-serving but at least she did think about Bella and now Bella's no longer the talk of the town - yay. I FULLY support the torture of Mike Newton (the douchebag) cos he deserves it for thinking those vile thoughts about our Edward's Bella. And also cos it was hilarious.

OMG, I adore Aro, Marcus and Caius!!! It cracked me up reading about them trying to choose an appropriate wedding card - Caius wanting to get a sympathy card just killed me (lmao). I can absolutely picture these lethal, ancient vampires being baffled by human customs and arguing with each other like crabby old men. 

I'm wondering though just who Eric Yorkie wants to send that video of Tanya in the store to?



Author's Response:

Hi there AliciaZA!

Thanks so much for the review. I have to admit that was one of my favorite sections to write. I do so adore torturing Newton, and I do it a lot in this story. And Tanya might be self-centered, but when the chips are down, she usually comes through.

I had a lot of fun with Marcus, Aro, and Caius. They will be in this story, but not until waay down the road. You are getting close to the beginning of the backstory.

Although I don't have it in the story as of yet, I have no problem telling you - Erik sends the tape to Edward. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Sheeijan (Signed) · Date: September 12, 2009 08:31 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Nine - How 'Bout 'Dem Apples?

I'm feeling about as gobsmacked as Edward does. She fooled them all! That is a feat in itself, but I'm so glad because otherwise she would have been the most unobservant person in the world and that was driving me insane. I'm horrified with what happened with Sam. His untimely imprinting was just the worst thing to happen for a lot of people. It was a slap to the face, seeing that happen. It was a reminder that this isn't all fun and games, that bad things can happen here. I guess somehow I lost sight of that amidst the pranks and Cluelessward antics.

Thanks for the update!

Author's Response:

Hi there Sheeijan!

Thanks so much for the review! And you make several excellent points. Edward looks down on humanity, although he longs to be one. They've been fooling humans so long that it is an art form. But they have been fooling them from a distance, never letting them get as close as they let Bella. Smart Bella. Quiet Bella. Observant Bella. Who Edward had decided was a horrible liar, having seen her dissembling to Mike Newton. If you think Bella's behavior was driving you insane (which I totally get, by the way) try being ME knowing what I was going to spring all along? I know. It sucks to be me sometimes. :) I wanted her to be the one who snuck up on you and you never saw coming.

I wanted the imprinting to parallel Angela and Bella being stalked in the woods. You had two groups of females, one walked away relatively unscathed, the other lost their lives. And to me the irony was that the Cullens, having seen what happened with the Quill family, took every precaution in separating Sam and the pack from humans. The way imprinting works, though, unless they kept that ring up 24/7 it wouldn't have made a difference and would only have prevented him from making physical contact. He would have acted the same. Either way, his relationship with Leah was a goner the second he imprinted. And to me, I wanted to show the problems that the tribe has with the wolf gene in that it has mutated. Seth and Paula have no scent. Sam has a mutated wolf gene as well - which is why he imprinted.

Considering the light tone of the past two chapters, I don't blame you for being surprised. I was kind of sort of evil.

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks so much for the feedback!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: CullenHistorian (Signed) · Date: September 12, 2009 07:10 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Eighteen - Stomping Through the Sword Ferns and Twinkling in the Night

Lucius Vorenus!  Oh, how I miss him.  Although if you were looking for someone really scary, I would have gone with Pullo.  Now THERE was a dude with issues. 

Love the story.



Author's Response:

Hi there CullenHistorian!

I have to admit, I get all misty-eyed over both characters on Rome - although I laugh every time I remember Marc Anthony crowing, "Now that was an exit."

 

Both actors did such wonderful jobs in their performance. And yeah, Pullo would have been scary to pick, but he's not blond. I could write him in somewhere else though. Felix maybe? Hmmm.

 

Thanks so much for the review!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: RedSole (Signed) · Date: September 12, 2009 01:56 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Two - Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know

This may be a comment more than a review. I am thoroughly enjoying your story, and only wished Stephanie had been as thorough an creative as you have been in telling Edward's story. Your version of Edward is MUCH more compelling and to me makes so much more sense. I have enjoyed the earlier chapters, they had me laughing hard out loud. You are a phenomenal writer!



Author's Response:

Hi there RedSole!

Thanks so much! I am delighted to hear that you are enjoying the story. I have had so much fun writing it (although the last chapter was kinda sorta hard). I felt when reading the Twilight Saga that someone with that much self-loathing would not fall in love, not true love, without putting up one hell of a fight and possibly having b-52 bomb strikes from the Almighty added in for good measure. And I felt that Bella after the meadow scene morphed into clingy powerless Bella who was always terrified she'd get dumped (as spurred by him hinting it all the time) - so I didn't like the dynamic that went on from that point. So this was my answer to it. I'm glad you are enjoying my twisted take on Edward. He's so much fun to write. Bella, too.

Starched Shirt Edward is blowing kisses at you. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: sexysadie13 (Signed) · Date: September 12, 2009 07:53 AM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Nine - How 'Bout 'Dem Apples?

Is that I'm here for? Your amusement?! haha - I just wanted to let you know that this chapter was FABULOUS! I got so excited to see the update! You really made my WEEK! I was totally dumbfounded by Bella's "minion" as you so eloquently put it.  That was amazingly creative! Something that I thought would surely be the end of her somehow managed to protect instead.  Where can I get one?! [pout] Anyways, I am totally looking forward to some lip action in the next chapter, and, surprisingly, the Volturi visit! For some reason, I have a whole new respect for Jane...Please, get this updated again ASAP - I'll have to get my own Unknown Coven after you if you don't...and I don't think those Venom Tats will so painlessly appear as Bella's........[twirling evil mustache]! Much love to you and your characters!



Author's Response:

Hi there Sexysadie13,

Yes, you are here for my amusement...that and the voices in my head. :) I'm delighted you enjoyed the chapter. I had so much fun writing it. I liked the idea of giving Bella untapped and might I add unpredictable depths. Jane will be a lot of fun in this story, I think. :) Alec, too. Am working on the next chapter. :)

Thanks so much for the review!

Best,

Books

Reviewer: notmyself (Signed) · Date: September 12, 2009 06:49 AM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Nine - How 'Bout 'Dem Apples?

Love, if there was any more action in this thing I'd need a profalactic. This was stunning. My most favorite chapter of yours that I have ever read. If I could favorite individual chapters, this would be right among the tops. I love all the answers we got and the new questions they bear.

I love Bella's calm in the face of danger. It really did feel true to her character, yours and SM's. Though, to be accurate, SM's Bella had a real reaction after Edward left her at home alone. There was shock and water and shaking and stuff. However, with yours I can't see Edward leaving her alone for a minute. Besides, the drugs are working to both of their benefit at the moment. And any shaking and shock seems to be on the part of Edward. Hell, I think she even scared Jugurtha.

I think that Edward's chattiness is really come in huge strides since Bella's arrival in his life. I mean, for decades he barely talked to anyone, not even the voices in his own head. They didn't really even get properly named until his aquaintance with Bella. Funny that he wasn't on a first name basis with the voices in his head.

You can tell Edward/s that I am jealous of BElla's tattoo too. Anyone would be. Even those of us who find tattoos distasteful. (That was a hugely ingenious use for it too.) ALl this time I thought that their expressions were just Edward's way of anthropomorphising something he didn't like. Bet he's much more relieved for her to have them now, right?

I LOVE LOVE LOVE! the diary and Bella's secret keeping skills and her preexisting knowledge from the start. I was beginning to think that I'd need to reread the first 7 chapters in case I had taken it for granted that she knew he was a vampire.

I also love how he accknowledged without any backtracking or disclaimers, how intelligent she is. He very nearly named her as an equal to him in this. HE even went so far as to say she had out maneuvered him in a knowledge and cunning beyond that of a chess board. I love how equally you have set them up to be. That was one of the main themes in SM's story that I was uncomfortable with. They were never equal. No matter how you spin it. Not until she was turned and had equally awsome vamppowers. Which was a little sad.

And you are right. Bella has jewelry that is way more awesome than any I will ever possess. Now if only we could get Alice's back and see if it has or had similar properties.

Gah. Make me stop. This is the review that never ends. Sorry.

And thank you, too. A Lot! Like, a lot, alot.

~Mia



Author's Response:

Hi there Mia!

Thank you so much! I've been rewriting the darn thing since December and didn't feel it was ready until just now. And I've never done suspense so posted it with my fingers crossed. Bella in this chapter is calm, but keep in mind, I had to cut the chapter because it was like 35k. She's going to freak out, don't get me wrong. Right now she's on adrenaline, stress, drugs, and that pesky training of Liam's is kicking in. I wanted to do a nod to canon with her being calm, I added in my own twist with making her more chatty than she would be. And I do agree with you that she probably scared the life out of Jugurtha. SSE is cowering under the prayer bench. I loved having her repeatedly blow his socks off by telling him the things she knew of getting him to confess others.

In terms of chattiness with either character that's one thing that I really do struggle with. Shyness on their level is something that rarely, unless the person puts a serious and I mean serious level of effort into it something that changes. So in my mind, Edward and Bella will always be shy to differing degrees. And you're right Edward wasn't in touch with the voices in his head because it was a sign of how cut off he was from everything - numb walking around merely playing a role.

Edward is on one hand relieved about the tattoo but as the scientist that he is, he's worried because he's not sure if this tattoo has any kind of harmful effect on her. Remember that when Young to Me Old Power marked Bella, she hurt her terribly in the process. So he's now freaked out thinking that this also could harm her. He also doesn't know if this is permanent. And it would be downright inconvenient for those birds to crop up when no one wants them visible.

And it was very important to me that Bella's intelligence be portrayed as realistic and that he acknowledge her as an equal. I agree with you that in the books that was not well done. SM's argument was that because she was not immortal she never could be his equal. She had to be his physical equal in order to be it. And I disagreed with that. In real life, most women are not the physical equals of men. And it doesn't excuse them from talking down to us. Or treating us like children. And don't get me started on BD and BelleMeyerPyre Barbie Princess. What she did to that character was almost as bad as what she did to Edward. *shudders* which is why I started writing this in the first place.

I wanted Bella to be a "still waters runs deep" kind of character, the female version of Edward without the self loathing. Cause we all know that Edward has a boatload of secrets he's been sitting on. And for him to meet someone who keep her mouth shut just as well as he does AND fools him - puts her on a level of Carlisle for the "don't see that one coming" quality.

As ever, thanks so much for the feedback. I've had so much fun with this chapter.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: tears (Signed) · Date: September 12, 2009 12:34 AM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Nine - How 'Bout 'Dem Apples?

Oh keep it coming!  Can't wait to see what those 2 crazy kids do next.  Love all the detail in the story...



Author's Response:

Hi there tears!

Thanks so much! Am working on next chapter now. Swear.

Jugurtha is blowing a big kiss at you. :)

 

Books

You must login (register) to review.




Share/Save/Bookmark


© 2008, 2009 Twilighted Enterprises, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.
Privacy Policy | Terms of Service

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.