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Reviews For Cullenary Coupling
Reviewer: Fleuritup (Signed) · Date: October 08, 2009 08:04 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty - Between a Rock and a Hard Place, Not that Kind of Hard Place. Maybe.

wow, i feel really bad for edward. i'm getting a headache reading about all this pain he is going through. im glad bella is safe for the moment, its soo much stress i think a bit much even for his spacious vampire mind. please tell me things will look up soon, he has bad news coming from every angle.  i'm kinda confused about that last body with the knives around it, so he is a vampire or a crazy paralized human? edward really needs to open up to his family about his situation i mean why doesnt he see they truly love him and are doing all of this for him because they love him. how has he deluded himself into believing they dont or cant if he shows weakness or fails. i love how bella let it all out and opened up, hopefully it'll inspire him to be more honest also. i hope he gets some rest soon and i might dare to hope a real kiss from bella, i think he's earned it after all that he's been facing. and what the freaking heck is that guy demanding bella as a sacrifice for. how will he have to sacrifice her? using her gift to help the tribe? ok i'ma be honest i dont know what they want her for but anyway i gotta know whats going on because medusa apparently is on the good side and the volturi want to visit,...hmm i wonder if the cullens will give them the new venom knives theyve acquired that have a scent, hopefully they'll be able to shield their knowledge of the blades or something cool like that. i have so many questions because there is so much going on but to ask them all would defeat the point of reading further so i will be good and just hope for the best for the cullens. edward in particular.

Author's Response:

Hi there Fleuritup!

Thanks so much for the review(s)! I feel so spoiled! You might want to re-read the section in the Mammoth sized mongrels chapter towards the end where Hezekiah explains how the powers tested him. In order to keep the ability to use the powers the spirits would set up tests for each shaman. So now it's time for Edward's first major test. And you are right, Edward is having bad news coming from every angle - he kind of needs that to motivate him to change his way of looking at the world. Bella killed a human with a vampire blade and the powers disposed of his body. He was not a vampire. Bella threw away her only weapon in How Bout Dem Apples (real weapon aside from mace) to protect Edward and stabbed the first ringleader when he shot his gun at Edward, remember? So he's dead. Really dead. Dead and not coming back dead.

Edward is living in a delusion - one he created himself because he has never addressed the guilt he feels from murdering all those people. And he does not remember what love feels like - so he has no way of understanding when Carlisle and Esme say that they love him just what that means. In his mind, they could ask him to leave at any moment if they found out about all the bad things he's done. Edward liked having siblings join the family because that meant that his family would focus their attention on the siblings, not on him. But at the same time that amps up his insecurity because in his mind it's one more person who could vote him out of the family. That makes perfect sense to Edward - it doesn't have to make sense to us. That's why we call him delusional. :) In Edward's mind, he has to protect the family and keep protecting the family because aside from playing the perfect vampire child - that's the only thing he can "do" that makes him special to the family - and that's why they keep him.

Make no assumptions about the Violet Gorgon. Aside from that, that's about all I can say. You're very observant. :)

I'm editing the next section and I've posted a teaser on the thread.



Reviewer: Lady Dragona (Signed) · Date: October 08, 2009 07:18 PM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part Two

What will power.  Way to be kind Edward.

Author's Response:

Hi there Lady Dragona!

I liked the idea of Edward literally giving Tanya no room to argue. And I loved the idea of two people observing the same situation and walking away with two entirely different interpretations. And let's face it, mocking Tanya and Edward both is fun. :)

Thanks for the review!



Reviewer: Moni_MD (Signed) · Date: October 08, 2009 03:23 PM · On: Prologue: Bella, Sex, and Privacy

I've never seen a fanfic with such a complicated plot but I will give it a chance because it is rather intriguing.

Thanks for the chapter :)

Author's Response:

Hi there Moni_MD!

thanks so much for the review and the chance. :) I should warn you if you think the plot is complicated in the prologue, when you hit the back story your eyes might roll back into your head. :) I have had a blast writing this story, and I hope you enjoy it. Snarky uptight Edward is so much fun to write.



Reviewer: killeen (Signed) · Date: October 08, 2009 02:01 PM · On: Prologue: Bella, Sex, and Privacy

I don't know if you can put more than one review in but I forgot something I wanted to say - thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for not using Adonis, or topaz, or dazzle like 45 million times.  I LOVE Twilight, I really do, but I seriously almost quit after the first one because I can only read the same adjective SO many times in one chapter before I want to go on a 3-state killing spree.

Author's Response:

Hi there Killeen!

I don't think Twilighted has any limit on the number of comments that a person can make on a review. The program automatically sorts a second chapter review with the prologue's reviews and if you to to the chapter view for the story, you'll see that many of the reviews that are in that section are people making secondary reviews. :)

I had a guy I know who read Twilight because his female co-workers pressed him into it. And he said that he literally wanted to puke everytime he read about Bella squeeing over how hot Edward was. I've been kinda sorta doing a satire of that with Leah, making CC Leah talk out loud how Book Bella thought. I have a list of things that make me cringe in fanfic - and it cringes that it makes me cringe because I don't want to offend other authors who are merely trying to pay homage to canon. I am sick of hearing about freesias. Why, if Bella's scent is the most glorious thing in the universe that Edward has ever smelled would be be happy with her polluting it with say Strawberry? Hmmm? Inquiring minds want to know. I felt that the characterization of Bella was uneven in the series and her focusing on how physically attractive he was (I think) was intended to "show" the vampire effects of his charms that his species gave him. I think SM overdid it to the point where it made Book Bella come across as obsessed with Edward's looks more so than Edward himself.

And characterizing them as "stone-like" really didn't work for me. If Edward "felt" like a statue then there would be no way that he, or more specifically Carlisle could ever pass scrutiny with humans. So that part of canon struck me as silly and I'm pretending it doesn't exist. I have had Edward comment that his chest was stonelike in one line, not because of the quality of his flesh so much as the stone-like nature of his heart.

And if I have to read the NM break up scene and her instant acceptance of him as her boyfriend one more time, I will join you on a three-state spree.


Snarkily yours,

Books :)

Reviewer: killeen (Signed) · Date: October 08, 2009 01:20 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-One - Fourteen Kinds of F*^ked Up

I would give you a 100 for this story if I could :)  I am really enjoying the heck out of it.  Your writing is really wonderful - you've used like 10 words that I didn't know, and I fancy myself a bit of a wordsmith!! :)  I even posted on my Facebook the other day about how I learned the origins of "decimate", and it was the coolest thing I had learned in days, haha.  Anyway keep up the good work.  I can imagine these chapters are hard to churn out - they're very detailed and long and I can tell you pour yourself into them - I hope you're not getting burned out on the story :)  I have about 10 million questions I'd like to ask you but I don't want to be a spoilsport and I'm sure you'll get to them, so thanks!!! :)

Author's Response:

Hi there kileen!

Thanks so much! This is my first fanfic so it has been a humbling experience learning as I go along. One of the things that bugged me about Midnight Sun - and I feel this is an unfair complaint because what was leaked was a draft - so keep that in mind - I felt like her Edward did not "think" like someone with multiple degrees. He didn't 'sound' smart enough to me. And I'm a nerd so wanted to channel some of that love of old words into his thinking and speaking.

I wrote almost all of the story last December, and have it in a huge file that makes my computer weep when I click on it. I've been taking sections of the draft and polishing them all along. Some parts were difficult, others, not so much. I think the How Bout Dem Apples and Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know were the ones that I had to put the most effort into. I rewrote How Bout Dem Apples more times that I'd care to admit. :)

No worries, I'm not in danger of getting burned out on the story. It most definitely will be completed. I've been posting it for almost a year now. If you have a question and are worried that you might be spoiling others who read the reviews (thank you for that by the way. ) you can always PM me. I can't always answer future plot oriented questions, but if I can answer it or clarify a point, I'm always happy to do so.

Jugurtha is blowing a kiss at you. He loves the word decimate.


Reviewer: Lady Dragona (Signed) · Date: October 08, 2009 12:05 PM · On: Chapter 1 - Tanya and the Bachelor Party Bet

The new Bella is so sassy.  She has tons of confidence.  Wow.

Author's Response:

Hi there Lady Dragona!

I'm writing Bella as painfully shy - and that part will kick in later. But she has these moment where she gets backed into a corner where she comes out swinging. Tanya pissed her off. So Tanya got surprised. :)

You'll see how her character evolves in the backstory. Both she and Edward are both depicted as shy. And while that won't really go away in their personalities, you'll see how they cope with it over the course of the story.

And I loathe doormat Bellas. They bore me. :)



Reviewer: Lady Dragona (Signed) · Date: October 08, 2009 11:26 AM · On: Prologue: Bella, Sex, and Privacy

I think this is a great beginning/middle:)  The idea of starting in the middle is intriguing to me.

Author's Response:

Hi there Lady Dragona!

Thanks so much! I decided to get all creative and so far it's worked although it does make writing suspense a little difficult - can't really do a cliffhanger when people know your hero/heroine are alive and kicking (sorta). :) The story will shift in tone when we get to EPOV. I hope you enjoy the rest of it, and thanks for your feedback. :)



Reviewer: Mizra (Signed) · Date: October 08, 2009 10:42 AM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-One - Fourteen Kinds of F*^ked Up

I've forgotten how much I loved Cousin Itt from The Addams Family. Oh, good times. Good times.

Douglas has my vote as evil mastermind. Plus, it's abso-freakin'-lutely adorable to read about this squirrely squirrel and Edward, perched in a tree, talking about Edward's Bottle Cap and nuts.

Author's Response:

Hey Mizra (I still owe you an email and am pond scum. Will write you later. Swear. ) :)

I remember having hair that long when I was little and how if I didn't have it tied back it would fall all over my face. That look unfortunately (long hair) didn't work all that well on me - I looked like Mama Cas of the Mammas and the Poppas with long hair. *shudders*

Douglas the Destroyer has his fan club. I've posted some new photos of him up on the web. FM is giving me a hard time as she says I don't appear to have posted male squirrel pictures. I don't do quality checks on squirrels as a habit.....soooo.



I'll try to write in some more scenes with Douglas later on down the road.



Douglas is raising an almond in your honor.

Reviewer: Ticked Off Tara (Signed) · Date: October 07, 2009 10:57 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Two - Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know

last line of ch.8 pt.2

i must confess that I too get misty eyed over that line.....

it made me giggle in an evil, impish way

btw. enjoying every minute of this. I am so, so thankful that I happened to stumble over it!

Author's Response:

Hi there Ticked Off Tara!

Thanks so much! I must confess, I have a vice when it comes to playing gags on secondary Twilight Characters. Mike's suffering has only just begun. Promise.

Thanks so much for your feedback and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. I'm having a blast writing it.

Starched Shirt Edward is winking at you,


Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: October 07, 2009 04:48 PM · On: Chapter 8 - Heart of Darkness - Part Eleven - Weapons of Mass Distraction

*blinking with vacant eyes back at Starched Shirt Edward - no matter how you spell it*   LOL

I hope Genevieve gets out the ol' stove iron pan and hits them over the head with it so they get what she's telling them.

Great backtracking on Edward's part to explain why he's in Bella's bed with her.  His love for her must register somewhere.  Genevieve and Ephraim know that.

Great line about the picture taking in the shower - of the locket....  ha ha ha.

Author's Response:

Hi there antipyro!

To me it was ironic that Genevieve is desperately trying to communicate with them, and sends them clues that to her are crystal clear and to them? Not so much. Edward actually was telling the truth about how touching Bella reduces his pain. That will become more obvious as the story progresses. I always thought that the vampires in the books considering the eras that they came from were kind of oddly characterized. Jasper won't touch Alice in public due to Civil War manners - so what does that make Carlisle being from the 1600's? Not characterized, thank you very much. So I was trying to do a few things in this chapter. One, show his brothers trying to reach out to him and talk to him - they've never really communicated on that level. But I also wanted to show how Edward has allowed people to infantize him for years and now that is becoming uncomfortable seeing as he want's more freedom around Bella. They treat him like a 17 year old, not a 100 plus year old vamp who is, by "birth" order (in terms of joining the family), the eldest of the Cullen children.


Glad you liked the locket gag. Any way I can show how clueless he is, I seize. :)


Reviewer: pomme_de_terre (Signed) · Date: October 07, 2009 01:38 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty - Between a Rock and a Hard Place, Not that Kind of Hard Place. Maybe.

As before, I am so behind in my reading *insert heavy sigh*. Heck of a first/kinda second dste for these two! Never a dull moment. Now how is Edward going to get out of the "my family will be executed if I do/my family will be executed if I don't" quandry? Cannot wait to find out! Great writing!

Author's Response:

Hi there pomme_de_terre!

I promise I won't make you wait on that answer. It'll be resolved in the next chapter. And yeah, indeed heck of a date - at this rate they'll never get together seeing as Fate seems to throw stuff at them. :)

Thanks so much for supporting my story. :)

Jugurtha is blowing you a kiss.


Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: October 07, 2009 12:23 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Ten - Heartbeats and Lullabies

I'm catching all the Dream Edward actions - *nudge, nudge, wink, wink*

Wow, almost too many things happening here.  Loved the shirtless Predator/Jugurtha-Edward and the banter between Dream Edward and Starched Shirt Edward.  I'm glad Ezekiah is relaxing with Dream Edward.  Somehow I think (Dream) Edward will retain some of these memories/thoughts when he returns to vampire Edward.  That may be advantageous too.

Great horrible story about Gregory.  He deserved what he got in the end.

Now, about that forehead kiss....and Dream Edward's proposed thoughts on how to encourage that along to include lips.....

Author's Response:

Hi there antipyro!

Thanks so much for the review. Jugurtha was shirtless by reader request. :) When Edward is with Hezekiah, he's not "dream Edward" although you do make a good point in that he is dreaming. The name "Dream Edward" is the cue for you to know that Genevieve is using her Granddaughter as a sock puppet to send messages to Edward. Bella thinks of him as Dream Edward because she doesn't have nightmares around him. And he's sooo nice. Main Edward hates that nickname because it reminds him that he's just "pretending" and that she could never really love the Real Him. The dreams that Edward has when he is asleep or with Hezekiah he will indeed retain in the vampire perfect recall sense of the word.

I'm glad you liked the Gregory storyline. What I was trying to create with that example was to show how ignorance (Gregory told tribal members the Cullens ate flesh) and tragedy (Lee decided to frame the Cullens when he killed his family members) can combine to make a situation (the Cullens were accused of murder) that an entire tribe forgets because they didn't write their knowledge down, and no one wanted to talk about the incident. So Gregory got to be chief when Ephraim died, and has spent decades arguing that vampires are evil, etc. And I liked what he got in the end too. I'm a big believer in karma. :)

Jugurtha has just taken his shirt off and flexed his muscles. Just for you.


Reviewer: andycullen (Signed) · Date: October 07, 2009 09:07 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness Part Six - Bonkers

I love the fact that edward refers to himself as 3 seperate people so he gets 3 seperate votes.

Author's Response:

Hi there andycullen!

Thanks so much for the review. Main Edward thinks its totally fair he gets three votes. :)

Starched Shirt Edward is winking at you.



Reviewer: Forthelove (Signed) · Date: October 07, 2009 05:31 AM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-One - Fourteen Kinds of F*^ked Up

I'm back! Sorry I slipped away for a bit but I'm all caught up now! Wow! My head is spinning! I just don't know what to say. Edward's supersized killing spree before and Emmett's reaction...gah...priceless. Like a car crash.  The whole damned if you do damned if you don't...craptastic! Oh, and Tanya 'succupotomos' Denali, who just wants him to quit being obsessed so she can suc...well nevermind. I can not even imagine the mess all this subterfuge and denial is going to cause. I recomend hanging the vampsicle on a wall, you know, like a decoration. It would be intimidating as hell to come in and see a 'frozen' vamp hung up there and know that "hey that could be me". Ask Jugurtha. See what he thinks.

Author's Response:

Hi there Forthelove!

Congratulations! You have me laughing so hard, I'm wiping venom tears away. I am SO using the vampsicle and the succuptomotos in the snaky summary and crediting you. Oh my sweet baby Jesus. That was hilarious. :) And you're right, Tanya thinks this is just instincts and Edward's wires are crossed and as soon as Bella is turned, problem solved and he can go back to being her prey.

Jugurtha thinks that is an excellent idea. Aro does too. Now they're going to start competing as to who can have a larger vampsicle collection.





Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2009 08:40 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Nine - Legacy

I'm figuring that Edward 'fell asleep' because Ezekiah wanted to tell him some more stuff - and possibly what his powers now allow him to do.  I'm thinking Edward will only be human until he finds the next Shaman.  I hope it doesn't hurt when he changes back.

Call The Predator - Earthquake!   LOL

Author's Response:

Hi there antipyro!

Thanks so much for the feedback! In my mind, Edward is not a human. He has symptoms that make him similar to humans, but he is still a vampire. It's just that he's got these odd symptoms. No one ever offered the Quileute powers to a vampire before so this is new territory for all of them. And when his heart stops it is incredibly painful for Edward both physically and emotionally. Physically it hurts like the Dickens. Emotionally, it hurts because he doesn't want the heart to stop beating and he can't let his family know that. They would disapprove. He can't let them know he hates being a vampire. He can't let them know his greatest wish is to get back his humanity. At least that's what Edward thinks. And I don't usually give away the plot, but no, Edward will not change back to a "normal" vampire once he makes the spirits happy.

The Predator is throwing rose petals at your feet.

Books :)

Reviewer: Kaydence (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2009 05:16 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-One - Fourteen Kinds of F*^ked Up

Even starched shirt Edward is against saggy boobies!!! There should be some sort of alliance....maybe Charlie could join to prove that he does indeed desire the female form and not that moody Edwin.

Edward and his whole 'living the lie' made me sigh for him--he loves Bella and doesn't even know it (despite of her fantastically f*cked up family of fruitloops).

I'm anxiously awaiting the next update!!

Author's Response:

Hi there Kaydence!

Thanks so much for the review! I'm having so much fun with the sagging breast argument that I'm pondering extending it a bit further. I've been researching period bras. I have an argument sketched out in my head over which bra would be better for our dear little one. You know SSE would want her wearing something that could resemble armor.

Poor Charlie. He can't even remember Edward, I mean Edmund, I mean Edwin's name.

Edward is indeed pretty messed up. But we are educating him, and his realizing just how much he wanted to save her life was a huge wake-up call for him. He's definitely going to be learning over the next few chapters.

I'm working on the next draft. I don't have a posting date in mind yet, but it's coming along well. I've posted a teaser on the thread. It's about 112 pages at present. And I suspect you'll like the ending. :)

Thanks so much for supporting my story.

Jugurtha is blowing a kiss at you. And leering.


Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2009 05:06 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Eight: Something Fetid This Way Blows

Some people just won't learn - no matter what they're told.  Figuring that 'when' Charlie marries Paula, that would make Bella part of the Black family, thus eligible to marry Jake.  You know, if Bella is 18, Jake's only 16.  So why are they waiting for Bella to become 18?  If Charlie marries Paula before then, or just because they've been seeing each other for what?...5 years?, then that could make Bella part of the Black family - in their warped story telling way.  I thought the treaty said that any vampire can be declared part of the Cullen family; a human wasn't specified.  I've often wondered, can the Cullen's change someone away from this land, like in the book and some great stories I've read, then bring her back there with no fault?  I've thought about this and since the treaty only covers the lands near Forks, then indeed, they can change someone away from that location and bring them back as family.

I think the Quilleutes now think the treaty doesn't favour their position or even give them a leg to stand on, even though they revere Ephraim.  Greedy thinking on their part, to change the treaty to suit themselves and their way of life, isn't written in the treaty and they have a hard time changing their minds now.  I blame Harry Clearwater.

Don't you just love Esme??

Reviewer: Rgwmnks (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2009 03:54 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-One - Fourteen Kinds of F*^ked Up

Girl you absolutely kill me. I do so love it when I get notice in my inbox telling me you have udated this gem. I plan to re-read the who;e damn thing once complete. Will take a while, but I will love every minute of it.

Author's Response:

Hi there Rgwmnks!

I squee when I see you've reviewed, so we're even. Deal? Thanks so much for the review, and I'm delighted that you are enjoying the story. I'm having so much fun with it right now.



Douglas is waving an almond in the air in your honor.

Reviewer: Kiewie (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2009 02:07 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Fourteen - Phantasms, Families, and Fantasies

First of all, I'm sorry I didn't review earlier, I just had to keep on reading!! I'm addicted!!

It's realy one of my favourites here! I just love Jugurtha and Starched Shirt Edward and all YOUR characters. I'm impressed how the story develops and how everything seems to be connecting! And I love all the mysteries, esp. about the necklace of Bella and Alice. I'm realy curious what will happen next and when Edward will realize he is in love with Bella.

I'm sorry for my short review.. but I have a story to read and an addiction to maintain ;)


Author's Response:

Hi there Kiewie! There is no need to apologize for not reviewing earlier. :) I'm happy to get a review at any time. Thanks so much for your feedback! Starched Shirt Edward and Jugurtha have a fan club following. It was important to me that I write something that had a mystery in it, because I always wondered "Why Bella?"

Since I'm not following the timeframe of Twilight, Edward's realization of his love for Bella will probably happen at a time you don't expect it. You should watch how he mentally refers to her. He starts out by calling her "my human" or "my singer" which are terms that on the surface appear to be de-humanizing. From Edward's perspective, however, simply by mentally connecting himself to Bella with a "my" is a HUGE deal. He's never had anyone to care about that was "his." As you see his feelings for her develop, he'll mentally give her other names. You will know he's a goner when he mentally calls her "my Bella."

And again, there's no need to apologize for either not reviewing or what you actually typed in your review. I have the philosophy that merely by reading my work, you've given me a gift of your time. If you take the time to give me feedback, no matter how brief, that's icing on the cake. Andit's very much appreciated.

Thanks so much for your support of my story.

Starched Shirt Edward is blowing a kiss at you.

Books :)

Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: October 05, 2009 11:14 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

Where do you come up with all those impossibly obtuse words to describe ordinary things, feelings, emotions??  Must be the betas job!    LOL  I couldn't find 'scentantic' anywhere.  I swear you guys make them up!

Oh so professional, Doctor Dream Edward - twice.  ha ha ha

The gaul of some Quileute tribal members to even suggest Bella is Jacobs.  How did  that come about?  Loved the lobby assemblage of nurses etc, cheering on Edward.

Amazing research on all the little questions and explanations that come up, frequently!  Glad the family is helping, well except Rosalie, in taking care of Bella.  I'm sure they'll bond later.  Wait'll Bella drives her truck for the first time - !!!

Author's Response:

Hi there antipyro!

Thanks so much for the review. And stop complimenting me on my language use. Your arousing me. :)

I came up with "scent"-antic, as well as "scent"-friend on my own. So you are right, I did make it up. At least that part. As for other words, well, I do a lot of reading in my copious spare time. And I wanted to use language that reflected that Edward was exceptionally educated, from days gone by, and snotty as well. :) Snarky, too.

Jacob is lying through his teeth. The only Quileute tribal member who ordered Bella be taken from the hospital was Daddy dearest. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed, is our dear Jacob, lying like that on tape for God and country to see. :)

Rose will warm towards Bella, but not for the reason you might expect.



Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: October 05, 2009 09:34 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness Part Six - Bonkers

Talk about house make-over!!  LOL  Is $15,000,000 enough???!!!  LMFAO  Just tear it down and build a new one!

O.k., what's with the stuff in the cave?  Was it jinxed?  I've never read about a Jacob that was this dark - scary stuff!   Warped mind and all.  Yay for the Clearwaters!  I've always liked them.

So tender, Edward staying with her, even though she didn't want him to go anywhere.

Esme's such a charm; doing that reno thing to perfection.  Glad to see Rosalies coming along, somewhat.  You were right about OCD Edward - bullet proof glass for her truck??!!!  LOL

Fantastic chapter and so many good one liners.  Can't remember them now, I'll have to re-read...   ; /  *that's a smirk, lol*

Author's Response:

Hi there antipyro!

I wanted to show just how out of touch with reality Edward was - he has no notion of the value of money. He also feels so bad about that whole nearly killing her business that he's literaly rebuilding her house. If he fixes it so that she's safe and allergen free then he can't be all that bad. Right?

There was no jinx on the cave. They just have really bad luck.

Jacob in CC is creepy, warped from birth, but not necessarily evil. He just wants to please his dad.

Glad you liked the one-lines. They were a lot of fun to write. :)

Starched Shirt Edward is blinking at you.


Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: October 05, 2009 08:07 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Five - Dream Edward

See?, didn't I tell you this was a good excuse to get Bella more/better clothes????  Not that I can read your mind, LOL, as that little ability of Bella's to conjure up past memories in others is one I never even saw coming.  Good for you!

..."orgasms making the earth move"    LMFAO  Wasn't there a scream in there somewhere???  This is one of those memorable lines people nominate for prizes!!!

Thank you soooo much for Edward, sans sweater, in a turtle neck....*swooning..*

Author's Response:

Hi there antipyro!

Many, many thanks for the hilarious review. I wanted to do a different plot than Twilight. So I wanted to give Bella an ability that made all the vamps want to hang around her. Aside from her smell.

And I'm delighted you are enjoying Edward's snarky sexual boasting. :)

I should warn you since you appear to be the swooning type, that he's naked in a few chapters down the road. Stark Naked.


And he's blinking at you.


Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: October 05, 2009 06:19 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Four - Deviant

'Dream Edward'?  Aren't all stories of this like about Dream Edward??  You're getting me confused by your Dream Edward and any Edward I read about, because he's all dream to me.  LOL

Cracking windows within a mile??  I'm waiting for the next orgasm he has.... ha ha

Loved Bella's delirium speak - funny.

I can see that Alice/Edward will replace broken objects in Bella's room with new, and of course, new clothing???  Just a hunch.

Author's Response:

Hi there antipyro!

Dream Edward is the nickname that Bella has given him when she's sleep talking. :) There are several incarnations of Edward in this story, so I can understand the confusion. :)

Yes, he most certainly did shatter glass within a mile range. And...*clears throat* that's not all he did. Notice the dresser destruction, computer catastrophe, etc.

It would be waaaaay too predictable to have Alice go shopping for Bella. So no. But you're warm.


Hope you enjoy the next chapter. I had way too much fun writing it. :)


Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: October 05, 2009 03:38 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Three - EdBargo

Yay, Bella!   Yay, Edward!  That Gianni guy doesn't stand a chance, well, except with either Jessica or Lauren, but they don't count.

What's with Edward's remembrance of his mother's touch?  Surely he doesn't equate Bella's touches with his mother's?  Hopefully it's just the caring aspect that is delivered.

Loved the ice grippers and the driving lessons.  WOW!  How to hit Bella hard with not only an asthma/breathing treatment/test and medications, a new nebulizer, asthma medications, epinephrine pens, thyroid testing, tetanus booster, but also including a blood sampling and an allergy test, to be scheduled!  She'll never go to the hospital again!  LOL

Mmmm, Edward in more fitted shirts??!!  Would that be considered Lemon material??  *just saying*

Now, the big question: "How is Edward going to get more sox to Bella?"

Author's Response:

Hi there antipyro!

After being uncovered as the "Groper" Gianni doesn't stand a chance with anyone. Then there's the fact that the Cullens really contemplate breaking body parts and he figures that out.

Edward in CC has lost the memory of his human parents. He has very faint memories of being held by his mother but he can't remember them in detail like vampires can all their other memories. So it's not that he's equating Bella's touch with his mother as that would be all kinds of icky. It's that he's having visions when he touches Bella - visions from his human life. Visions that are in the equivalent of vampire 3-D in that they go beyond what typical vampires sense. And they are literally giving him back parts of his memory a piece at a time. Bella is for all intents and purposes on that aspect alone, priceless to Edward. Throw in her scent....and the fact that she's cute.....he's going to have to be pried off of her with a crowbar.

I turned the doctor's visit into a bit of a satire on Edward's OCD nature which will in one particular chapter coming up go a wee bit out of control.

Edward in fitted shirts. Yum. I think that qualifies as nerd lemon material. All we need is an image and we dont' even need to read the lemon, we think it up on our own. :) *fogs glasses*

Alas, Edward can't get more sox to Bella. Mary Alice said so. :) *snorts*

Main Edward is preening in a tight fitted turtleneck just for you.


Reviewer: Fitten (Signed) · Date: October 05, 2009 02:23 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Nineteen - Be Still My Beating Heart

“I…..I… ah….could ask the same question. What are you doing in my bathroom? And sir, I'm flattered, but I am straight.” I flushed even more and bit my lip, like I’d seen his daughter do a time or two.

Edward and Charlies' encounter in the bathroom was hilarious and I was surprised to see Edward so ..butt naked and inventive!! ha ha ... I loved Jasper, Carlisle and Esme joining in the fun!

Author's Response:

Hi there Fitten!

Charlie was so much fun to torture. :) I suppose I'm going to have to do it again. I think it will be the new Cullen past time. :)

Glad you enjoyed it.

Buck Naked Edward is waving at you.



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