Even starched shirt Edward is against saggy boobies!!! There should be some sort of alliance....maybe Charlie could join to prove that he does indeed desire the female form and not that moody Edwin.

Edward and his whole 'living the lie' made me sigh for him--he loves Bella and doesn't even know it (despite of her fantastically f*cked up family of fruitloops).

I'm anxiously awaiting the next update!!

Author's Response:

Hi there Kaydence!

Thanks so much for the review! I'm having so much fun with the sagging breast argument that I'm pondering extending it a bit further. I've been researching period bras. I have an argument sketched out in my head over which bra would be better for our dear little one. You know SSE would want her wearing something that could resemble armor.

Poor Charlie. He can't even remember Edward, I mean Edmund, I mean Edwin's name.

Edward is indeed pretty messed up. But we are educating him, and his realizing just how much he wanted to save her life was a huge wake-up call for him. He's definitely going to be learning over the next few chapters.

I'm working on the next draft. I don't have a posting date in mind yet, but it's coming along well. I've posted a teaser on the thread. It's about 112 pages at present. And I suspect you'll like the ending. :)

Thanks so much for supporting my story.

Jugurtha is blowing a kiss at you. And leering.

Books

Girl you absolutely kill me. I do so love it when I get notice in my inbox telling me you have udated this gem. I plan to re-read the who;e damn thing once complete. Will take a while, but I will love every minute of it.

Author's Response:

Hi there Rgwmnks!

I squee when I see you've reviewed, so we're even. Deal? Thanks so much for the review, and I'm delighted that you are enjoying the story. I'm having so much fun with it right now.

Best,

Books

Douglas is waving an almond in the air in your honor.

Where do you come up with all those impossibly obtuse words to describe ordinary things, feelings, emotions??  Must be the betas job!    LOL  I couldn't find 'scentantic' anywhere.  I swear you guys make them up!

Oh so professional, Doctor Dream Edward - twice.  ha ha ha

The gaul of some Quileute tribal members to even suggest Bella is Jacobs.  How did  that come about?  Loved the lobby assemblage of nurses etc, cheering on Edward.

Amazing research on all the little questions and explanations that come up, frequently!  Glad the family is helping, well except Rosalie, in taking care of Bella.  I'm sure they'll bond later.  Wait'll Bella drives her truck for the first time - !!!

Author's Response:

Hi there antipyro!

Thanks so much for the review. And stop complimenting me on my language use. Your arousing me. :)

I came up with "scent"-antic, as well as "scent"-friend on my own. So you are right, I did make it up. At least that part. As for other words, well, I do a lot of reading in my copious spare time. And I wanted to use language that reflected that Edward was exceptionally educated, from days gone by, and snotty as well. :) Snarky, too.

Jacob is lying through his teeth. The only Quileute tribal member who ordered Bella be taken from the hospital was Daddy dearest. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed, is our dear Jacob, lying like that on tape for God and country to see. :)

Rose will warm towards Bella, but not for the reason you might expect.

Best,

Books

See?, didn't I tell you this was a good excuse to get Bella more/better clothes????  Not that I can read your mind, LOL, as that little ability of Bella's to conjure up past memories in others is one I never even saw coming.  Good for you!

..."orgasms making the earth move"    LMFAO  Wasn't there a scream in there somewhere???  This is one of those memorable lines people nominate for prizes!!!

Thank you soooo much for Edward, sans sweater, in a turtle neck....*swooning..*

Author's Response:

Hi there antipyro!

Many, many thanks for the hilarious review. I wanted to do a different plot than Twilight. So I wanted to give Bella an ability that made all the vamps want to hang around her. Aside from her smell.

And I'm delighted you are enjoying Edward's snarky sexual boasting. :)

I should warn you since you appear to be the swooning type, that he's naked in a few chapters down the road. Stark Naked.

 

And he's blinking at you.

Books

Yay, Bella!   Yay, Edward!  That Gianni guy doesn't stand a chance, well, except with either Jessica or Lauren, but they don't count.

What's with Edward's remembrance of his mother's touch?  Surely he doesn't equate Bella's touches with his mother's?  Hopefully it's just the caring aspect that is delivered.

Loved the ice grippers and the driving lessons.  WOW!  How to hit Bella hard with not only an asthma/breathing treatment/test and medications, a new nebulizer, asthma medications, epinephrine pens, thyroid testing, tetanus booster, but also including a blood sampling and an allergy test, to be scheduled!  She'll never go to the hospital again!  LOL

Mmmm, Edward in more fitted shirts??!!  Would that be considered Lemon material??  *just saying*

Now, the big question: "How is Edward going to get more sox to Bella?"

Author's Response:

Hi there antipyro!

After being uncovered as the "Groper" Gianni doesn't stand a chance with anyone. Then there's the fact that the Cullens really contemplate breaking body parts and he figures that out.

Edward in CC has lost the memory of his human parents. He has very faint memories of being held by his mother but he can't remember them in detail like vampires can all their other memories. So it's not that he's equating Bella's touch with his mother as that would be all kinds of icky. It's that he's having visions when he touches Bella - visions from his human life. Visions that are in the equivalent of vampire 3-D in that they go beyond what typical vampires sense. And they are literally giving him back parts of his memory a piece at a time. Bella is for all intents and purposes on that aspect alone, priceless to Edward. Throw in her scent....and the fact that she's cute.....he's going to have to be pried off of her with a crowbar.

I turned the doctor's visit into a bit of a satire on Edward's OCD nature which will in one particular chapter coming up go a wee bit out of control.

Edward in fitted shirts. Yum. I think that qualifies as nerd lemon material. All we need is an image and we dont' even need to read the lemon, we think it up on our own. :) *fogs glasses*

Alas, Edward can't get more sox to Bella. Mary Alice said so. :) *snorts*

Main Edward is preening in a tight fitted turtleneck just for you.

Books

hey, I just want to say that I have never reviewed any fan fiction stroies before but yours is absolutely the most convoluted, interesting and original take on the Twilight world that I have read. It is a great story and I cannot wait to see how you eventually end up back at the time of the beginning chapters. You are doing a great job and I have really enjoyed reading it (even when I am meant to be doing Uni assignments! :) I love your ideas and can't wait to read the rest!

Author's Response:

Well hello there nettyrose!

Thank you so much for coming out of lurkdom to give me a review! I'm honored. :) We are starting to get towards the back end of the HOD - so the next section of chapters will be critical. I will not be going back to 3rd person when we end this arc. It's far too much fun being in Edward's head. I am working on the next chapter and still doing edits - it's at about 106 pages at present. I've posted a teaser for it on the thread on the AU forum (you have to register separately to join the forum).

Again, thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoy the story. :)

Starched Shirt Edward is blowing you a kiss.

Books

the entire chapter was hilarious. i cant believe ""Mary Sue liked being pushed by the shield then trying to press her breast against it. LMFAO damn that was too funny. they were so stupid and speaking of stupid i loved how jessical stanley now has her own category of stupidity that characters can be placed under. 

Author's Response:

Hi there Fleuritup!

I'm delighted that my sick sense of humor is entertaining you. I had loads of fun with the newborns. Now if you go back to the Tanya and the Bachelor party chapter the line about Bella surviving the newborns takes on an entirely new meaning. :)

I like the idea of stupid vampires. I also liked the idea of making them the equivalent of vampire cockroaches that could survive by dumb luck alone a nuclear blast intact.

Thanks for your review.

Mary Sue newborn is blowing kisses at you.

Books

Hi books,

       Thanks for the shout out ! You put so much research in your story you go the extra mile ,and it really shows. Your are an excellant writter and story teller! I got a kick out of Jugurtha telling Starch shirt about neccessity of a bra that was priceless. Looking for to the next chapter .

                                  Take care, oncebitten

Author's Response:

Hi oncebitten!

Thanks so much for the kind reviews! I loved working your pen name into the story. :) The lingerie section seems to be a big hit. I am of course going to have to continue their debate. :) I'm having loads of fun doing research on period lingerie. Ye Gads!

The horrors of sagging.

Now I have to have Jugurtha explain the necessity of thongs. I think.

Jugurtha is giving you his best leer,

Books

In a way I'm surprised at Bella for shoeing such regret for killing one of those evil guys. I understand it, because Bella is truly a good person. But at the same time she is a very logical person. Killing him was definitely justified. I guess I'm a horrible soul because I don't see why getting so upset over it.

Taking Bella and being isolated together was an unexpected event. It will be interesting to see what happens in their relationship. Can Edward keep his foot out of his mouth?

I can't believe he's been able to keep all of his secrets thus far! Alice knows something though, I'm sure that worries him - well, I he had the time to think about it I guess.

Thanks for the update!

Author's Response:

Hi there Sheeijan!

Thanks so much for your feedback. The question I have for you is this (and I'm not arguing with you - just playing Satan - a role I love). Why does showing emotion have to make sense? Bella has been trained from a young age by Liam to stay composed in crises situations that are a matter of life and death (not social discourse). So she falls back on her training, and even though she's drugged and scared, she manages to make it through the orchard and subsequent conversation with Edward falling back on those reserves. But eventually, I felt I had to show she was still a 17-year old kid who, because she was a good person, and because she had never harmed a fly in her her life, had to emotionally deal with the consequences of her actions. She may have had the moral high ground - and to me that is what fueled her emotions in that scene - she did the 'right' thing but still felt horrible about it afterwards and THAT made her feel even worse. I don't think you are horrible at all for not understanding what I was trying to convey. I think that probably comes down to my limitations as a writer. :) Not yours as a reader.It always bugged me in the books how she seemed to wave away his history of killing humans. I wanted to toy with that in this scene. Edward is listening to her completely have a melt down over justifiably killing one human. How do you think that makes him feel about himself? How do you think he feels about confessing his past to her in light of her behavior? Snowball's chance in hell at this point is what he considers his chances of telling her about his past and having her accept him.

I did not want to write a fiction where Alice knew everything all along and had all this secret wisdom that she hoarded. Everyone does that. So in my mind, Alice has several different scenarios that she has seen - it doesn't mean that any of them will happen. And she is keeping her mouth shut. To me this is Alice's way of letting Edward make his own choices and respecting him as an adult. I did think with him having the wolf powers that making her not completely blind, but definitely handicapped in reading his future, was useful to the story. And keep in mind that Edward has been keeping secrets without breaking a sweat for decades from his family. What I've been trying to show in this story is that it was easy for him to keep secrets because he kept his mouth shut and his contact with his family at a minimum. Now that he's talking and opening up to them, it's increasingly harder and harder for him to keep his secrets. And you'll see just how hard coming up. :)

Thanks so much for your review, your feedback, and your support of my story. I love hearing what you have to say. :)

Douglas the Destroyer is waving an almond in your honor.

Best,

Books

I loved the beginning and the breast sagging bit...too funny!

Bella said the sweetest thing to edward at the end about how he mattered to both her and his family. Too sweet for words.

It must have been super awkward for edward to pull out Bella's bra...he should have just handed her the bag.

Edward handled the issue with Bella being a first-time killer really well. He didn't need assistance from his family at all. he was attentive and ried really hard to let her get her issues off her chest.

It was really messed up of Jasper to send waves of lust to charlie when he's around edward (paula paula paula hehe).

Author's Response:

Hi there BellaS!

Thanks so much for the feedback! I had waaay too much fun with SSE and Jugurtha in this chapter. I'm thinking their debate on lingerie will have to continue. Main Edward would like me to tell you that holding out her undergarments to her was every bit as mortifying if not more so than standing without clothing in front of her idiot father. Worse, he had planned on standing in front of her idiot father. He most certainly had not planned on causing his dear little one distress.

Glad you liked the first time killer blues conversation. I didn't think that Edward and Bella would iron every issue out in my mind. To me the talk would be limited, awkward, and both would leave things half said. They aren't the biggest communicators, those two. So to me that conversation was tough to write. What you should keep in mind is that Bella has probably told Edward more about her life and her feelings than she has anyone else since Liam died.

And yes, Jasper's manipulation of Charlie was sick and twisted. He had to protect his brother, and making Charlie mortified and confused was for him the best part.

Jugurtha is blowing a kiss at you.

Best,

Books

let me start off by saying, i feel like last chapter's review was fail...there is so much i forgot to mention! (which is why i open a seperate window and review WHILE reading lol) date night was nice...saw zombieland with some friends. now i am back online and he's back watching college football/playing xbox live lol...as we usually are.

LOVE douglas the squirrel lol

wooo! louisiana! ;)

i loved edward strapping a drugged bella into a tree...and bella thinking she's watched too many disney movies

wow...so. i have to say, i might be speechless! so much is happening. takes a while to process it. i like badass ninja bad guy killing edward. i am really curious to know what they mean by his sacrifice being bella... i feel really bad for leah and the clearwaters. i am assuming these immortals that are coming are the ones bella described before? i am not that worried about the volturi or bella being changed...given the first chapters of cc before heart of darkness ;) jeez now i really want to read the next chapter...but i am soooo sleepy! maybe tomorrow! soon for sure. can't wait to see what happens next! i am liking the breakneck speed and random story progression (well, you know what i mean-random to me, there's stuff flying in from everywhere!)

Author's Response:

Hi there Sariedee!

Glad to hear you enjoyed the movie. I'll have to go and check it out now. :) My family becomes hypnotized when LSU plays. It's amazing. Glad you like Douglas the squirrel. He's getting his own fan club.

I had to throw in the Disney line because my beta threatened bodily harm if I did not. If you liked that line, she wrote it. :)

Never assume anything in my story. That's all I'm sayin'. You raise a good point in that since you know the first few chapters that Bella appears to be in one piece there's only so much I can do with a cliffhanger. The gloves are totally off as soon as this arc is done. :) *evil grin*

Glad you are enjoying the story. I had a blast writing this section. :) Get some rest, chere.

Best

Books

oh no, whats going on , who could have put their venom on her while she was surrounded. i mean it couldnt have been the gargole because edward looked her over before and then he threw her in the tube so if venom was on her earlier it would have washed off i think. . WHATS GOIN ON. i gotta know turn everyone into wolves already and lets get the battle started.

Author's Response:

Hi there Fleuritup!

You ask a very good question, one that will be answered in the next chapter. :) And you are right to wonder who could have touched her since she was guarded. Very good question. The venom is not on her skin. It's on her spirit. So all the washing in the world won't take it off.

Edward will be listening to you on the wolf issue. :)

Best,

Books

i forgot to mention earlier i appreciate your portrayal of rosalie in this story.  its refreshing to not have her be a selfish bitch the entire time. i mean she was a jerk in the beginning with the accident but i love how shes taken to a maternal instinct with edward and bella. hopefully there will be no renesme in this story because i hated how rose used bella in breaking dawn just to get the baby from her basically she didnt even care of bellas well being only if it benefitted the baby. anyway i knew that knife was gonna be one of the vamp knives the second you mentioned special weapons to kill vamps. anyway that sucks that genevieiewe opened her granddaughter up to that violet gargole i'm surprised that carlisle hasnt contacted the volturi yet seeing as how they have this threat of the tatoot vamp coming and the newly revealed knife with its special origin, as far as lacking smells. im glad jaz is no longer suffering from the guilt but i feel bad for alice because she really is useless to the family or at least thats how it seems. im hoping someone will kick that violet georgoles ass soon for interrupting the physical appearance and special laying next to singer time that edward is addicted to.  it was nice to embarass charlie too, hes so stupid and i honestly dont see how out of the entire story he only had one burst of affection for his daughter ...which you said was not inspired by jaz at all. that tells you something there, i mean either he is a complete idiot devoid of emotion or he is just so focused on paula that nothing else matters. in that sense he kind of remindes me of leah and her obessession with sam.  i'm sorry these reviews are me bringing up old chapters because either i didnt review or forgot to mention it. now billys obssession with the swans land no longer seems so crazy. im wondering how this will all play out with the red eyed ones.

Author's Response:

Hi there Fleuritup!

Thanks so much for the feedback. And please, don't apologize for bringing up things from old chapter - you are asking relevant questions. :) Not that I can answer them all and keep the plot secret. But still. I'll help out where I can.

Rosalie - I'm glad you like what I'm doing with her. I disliked how shallow and selfish she was in the books and I wanted to give her some depth. I wanted to show that side of her that just melts when she remembered her human friend Vera. In many ways, she is treating Bella like the daughter she always wanted. And she also has been growing closer to Edward through this process as well. As a brother, though, not as a son. I loathed the characterization of Renesmee in the books. I thought it was a horrible message to send to young readers that marriage at that age was just so neat - parenting, too. Golly look right after that gorefest of the birth, they never had to change a diaper, they just handed the baby over to Jacob and Rosalie to raise. So no, there will be no Renesme in this story. I don't buy into the idea of children face-palming their parents to communicate. Although I totally respect the right of others to adore the book - I was not a BD fan at all.

Carlisle is in a pickle. He has knowledge of things that he should not. And if he contacts the Volturi and Aro comes by and reads his mind, that would be all kinds of inconvenient. If he doesn't contact the Volturi and hordes of vampires descend upon them, that would be all kinds of inconvenient, too.

 

I didn't want Alice to be able to predict every single thing in this story. In many fanfictions she's portrayed as this micromanager who sees all things, and I wanted to avoid that in CC. So her gift works, but not consistently, and she can't read Edward with accuracy. And that bugs the living daylights out of her.

You will understand more about Charlie as the chapters progress. I will say that his Mother instructed Paula to keep him out of town when Bella was in the hospital. Charlie in my mind, loves his daughter very much. He simply is so used to keeping her at an emotional distance, that it has not occurred to him that she needs to hear it from him. In my mind, Charlie's mother and father were disappointed that he was not the genius child they expected him to be. He got great grades in school, but he wasn't the valdictorian shining genius that they had believed they would have. And worse, Charlie knew he was a disappointment to his parents. He married Rene and tried to be the best husband that he could. Then she left with the baby. His parents lavished all this affection on his daughter and Charlis sat back kind of marveling at it because they had never been like that with him. At the same time, he kept his distance afraid he would spoil things for his daughter. At least that's what he thought at the time. Research shows that over half of divorced Fathers whose children move out of state lose touch with their children. And I wanted to show that in Charlie's portrayal. Sure Bella spent the summers with him. But he was at work during the day, and saw her only for a little while before she went to sleep and on the weekends when he wasn't working. So he loves his daughter, but she's been raised by others. And Charlie ignored his parents when they said he needed to be around her more, thinking that since they had kind of sucked as parents that he knew better. You will see character development with Charlie in this story, but he will never be characterized as a perfect parent. And if you go back to the Shameless hussey chapters he is all kinds of worried about his daughter. Protective, too.

In terms of Leah's character, I wondered what it would be like if I took Book Bella's thoughts about Edward and had her speak them out loud. Hence, Leah "talks" like Book Bella thinks. And everyone wants to strangle her.

Hope that helps. :)

Thanks for the feedback.

Best,

Books