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Reviews For Cullenary Coupling
Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: October 07, 2009 12:23 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Ten - Heartbeats and Lullabies

I'm catching all the Dream Edward actions - *nudge, nudge, wink, wink*

Wow, almost too many things happening here.  Loved the shirtless Predator/Jugurtha-Edward and the banter between Dream Edward and Starched Shirt Edward.  I'm glad Ezekiah is relaxing with Dream Edward.  Somehow I think (Dream) Edward will retain some of these memories/thoughts when he returns to vampire Edward.  That may be advantageous too.

Great horrible story about Gregory.  He deserved what he got in the end.

Now, about that forehead kiss....and Dream Edward's proposed thoughts on how to encourage that along to include lips.....



Author's Response:

Hi there antipyro!

Thanks so much for the review. Jugurtha was shirtless by reader request. :) When Edward is with Hezekiah, he's not "dream Edward" although you do make a good point in that he is dreaming. The name "Dream Edward" is the cue for you to know that Genevieve is using her Granddaughter as a sock puppet to send messages to Edward. Bella thinks of him as Dream Edward because she doesn't have nightmares around him. And he's sooo nice. Main Edward hates that nickname because it reminds him that he's just "pretending" and that she could never really love the Real Him. The dreams that Edward has when he is asleep or with Hezekiah he will indeed retain in the vampire perfect recall sense of the word.

I'm glad you liked the Gregory storyline. What I was trying to create with that example was to show how ignorance (Gregory told tribal members the Cullens ate flesh) and tragedy (Lee decided to frame the Cullens when he killed his family members) can combine to make a situation (the Cullens were accused of murder) that an entire tribe forgets because they didn't write their knowledge down, and no one wanted to talk about the incident. So Gregory got to be chief when Ephraim died, and has spent decades arguing that vampires are evil, etc. And I liked what he got in the end too. I'm a big believer in karma. :)

Jugurtha has just taken his shirt off and flexed his muscles. Just for you.

Books

Reviewer: andycullen (Signed) · Date: October 07, 2009 09:07 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness Part Six - Bonkers

I love the fact that edward refers to himself as 3 seperate people so he gets 3 seperate votes.



Author's Response:

Hi there andycullen!

Thanks so much for the review. Main Edward thinks its totally fair he gets three votes. :)

Starched Shirt Edward is winking at you.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Forthelove (Signed) · Date: October 07, 2009 05:31 AM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-One - Fourteen Kinds of F*^ked Up

I'm back! Sorry I slipped away for a bit but I'm all caught up now! Wow! My head is spinning! I just don't know what to say. Edward's supersized killing spree before and Emmett's reaction...gah...priceless. Like a car crash.  The whole damned if you do damned if you don't...craptastic! Oh, and Tanya 'succupotomos' Denali, who just wants him to quit being obsessed so she can suc...well nevermind. I can not even imagine the mess all this subterfuge and denial is going to cause. I recomend hanging the vampsicle on a wall, you know, like a decoration. It would be intimidating as hell to come in and see a 'frozen' vamp hung up there and know that "hey that could be me". Ask Jugurtha. See what he thinks.



Author's Response:

Hi there Forthelove!

Congratulations! You have me laughing so hard, I'm wiping venom tears away. I am SO using the vampsicle and the succuptomotos in the snaky summary and crediting you. Oh my sweet baby Jesus. That was hilarious. :) And you're right, Tanya thinks this is just instincts and Edward's wires are crossed and as soon as Bella is turned, problem solved and he can go back to being her prey.

Jugurtha thinks that is an excellent idea. Aro does too. Now they're going to start competing as to who can have a larger vampsicle collection.

 

:)

 

Books

Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2009 08:40 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Nine - Legacy

I'm figuring that Edward 'fell asleep' because Ezekiah wanted to tell him some more stuff - and possibly what his powers now allow him to do.  I'm thinking Edward will only be human until he finds the next Shaman.  I hope it doesn't hurt when he changes back.

Call The Predator - Earthquake!   LOL



Author's Response:

Hi there antipyro!

Thanks so much for the feedback! In my mind, Edward is not a human. He has symptoms that make him similar to humans, but he is still a vampire. It's just that he's got these odd symptoms. No one ever offered the Quileute powers to a vampire before so this is new territory for all of them. And when his heart stops it is incredibly painful for Edward both physically and emotionally. Physically it hurts like the Dickens. Emotionally, it hurts because he doesn't want the heart to stop beating and he can't let his family know that. They would disapprove. He can't let them know he hates being a vampire. He can't let them know his greatest wish is to get back his humanity. At least that's what Edward thinks. And I don't usually give away the plot, but no, Edward will not change back to a "normal" vampire once he makes the spirits happy.

The Predator is throwing rose petals at your feet.

Books :)

Reviewer: Kaydence (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2009 05:16 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-One - Fourteen Kinds of F*^ked Up

Even starched shirt Edward is against saggy boobies!!! There should be some sort of alliance....maybe Charlie could join to prove that he does indeed desire the female form and not that moody Edwin.

Edward and his whole 'living the lie' made me sigh for him--he loves Bella and doesn't even know it (despite of her fantastically f*cked up family of fruitloops).

I'm anxiously awaiting the next update!!

Author's Response:

Hi there Kaydence!

Thanks so much for the review! I'm having so much fun with the sagging breast argument that I'm pondering extending it a bit further. I've been researching period bras. I have an argument sketched out in my head over which bra would be better for our dear little one. You know SSE would want her wearing something that could resemble armor.

Poor Charlie. He can't even remember Edward, I mean Edmund, I mean Edwin's name.

Edward is indeed pretty messed up. But we are educating him, and his realizing just how much he wanted to save her life was a huge wake-up call for him. He's definitely going to be learning over the next few chapters.

I'm working on the next draft. I don't have a posting date in mind yet, but it's coming along well. I've posted a teaser on the thread. It's about 112 pages at present. And I suspect you'll like the ending. :)

Thanks so much for supporting my story.

Jugurtha is blowing a kiss at you. And leering.

Books

Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2009 05:06 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Eight: Something Fetid This Way Blows

Some people just won't learn - no matter what they're told.  Figuring that 'when' Charlie marries Paula, that would make Bella part of the Black family, thus eligible to marry Jake.  You know, if Bella is 18, Jake's only 16.  So why are they waiting for Bella to become 18?  If Charlie marries Paula before then, or just because they've been seeing each other for what?...5 years?, then that could make Bella part of the Black family - in their warped story telling way.  I thought the treaty said that any vampire can be declared part of the Cullen family; a human wasn't specified.  I've often wondered, can the Cullen's change someone away from this land, like in the book and some great stories I've read, then bring her back there with no fault?  I've thought about this and since the treaty only covers the lands near Forks, then indeed, they can change someone away from that location and bring them back as family.

I think the Quilleutes now think the treaty doesn't favour their position or even give them a leg to stand on, even though they revere Ephraim.  Greedy thinking on their part, to change the treaty to suit themselves and their way of life, isn't written in the treaty and they have a hard time changing their minds now.  I blame Harry Clearwater.

Don't you just love Esme??

Reviewer: Rgwmnks (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2009 03:54 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-One - Fourteen Kinds of F*^ked Up

Girl you absolutely kill me. I do so love it when I get notice in my inbox telling me you have udated this gem. I plan to re-read the who;e damn thing once complete. Will take a while, but I will love every minute of it.

Author's Response:

Hi there Rgwmnks!

I squee when I see you've reviewed, so we're even. Deal? Thanks so much for the review, and I'm delighted that you are enjoying the story. I'm having so much fun with it right now.

Best,

Books

Douglas is waving an almond in the air in your honor.

Reviewer: Kiewie (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2009 02:07 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Fourteen - Phantasms, Families, and Fantasies

First of all, I'm sorry I didn't review earlier, I just had to keep on reading!! I'm addicted!!

It's realy one of my favourites here! I just love Jugurtha and Starched Shirt Edward and all YOUR characters. I'm impressed how the story develops and how everything seems to be connecting! And I love all the mysteries, esp. about the necklace of Bella and Alice. I'm realy curious what will happen next and when Edward will realize he is in love with Bella.

I'm sorry for my short review.. but I have a story to read and an addiction to maintain ;)

 



Author's Response:

Hi there Kiewie! There is no need to apologize for not reviewing earlier. :) I'm happy to get a review at any time. Thanks so much for your feedback! Starched Shirt Edward and Jugurtha have a fan club following. It was important to me that I write something that had a mystery in it, because I always wondered "Why Bella?"

Since I'm not following the timeframe of Twilight, Edward's realization of his love for Bella will probably happen at a time you don't expect it. You should watch how he mentally refers to her. He starts out by calling her "my human" or "my singer" which are terms that on the surface appear to be de-humanizing. From Edward's perspective, however, simply by mentally connecting himself to Bella with a "my" is a HUGE deal. He's never had anyone to care about that was "his." As you see his feelings for her develop, he'll mentally give her other names. You will know he's a goner when he mentally calls her "my Bella."

And again, there's no need to apologize for either not reviewing or what you actually typed in your review. I have the philosophy that merely by reading my work, you've given me a gift of your time. If you take the time to give me feedback, no matter how brief, that's icing on the cake. Andit's very much appreciated.

Thanks so much for your support of my story.

Starched Shirt Edward is blowing a kiss at you.

Books :)

Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: October 05, 2009 11:14 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen

Where do you come up with all those impossibly obtuse words to describe ordinary things, feelings, emotions??  Must be the betas job!    LOL  I couldn't find 'scentantic' anywhere.  I swear you guys make them up!

Oh so professional, Doctor Dream Edward - twice.  ha ha ha

The gaul of some Quileute tribal members to even suggest Bella is Jacobs.  How did  that come about?  Loved the lobby assemblage of nurses etc, cheering on Edward.

Amazing research on all the little questions and explanations that come up, frequently!  Glad the family is helping, well except Rosalie, in taking care of Bella.  I'm sure they'll bond later.  Wait'll Bella drives her truck for the first time - !!!



Author's Response:

Hi there antipyro!

Thanks so much for the review. And stop complimenting me on my language use. Your arousing me. :)

I came up with "scent"-antic, as well as "scent"-friend on my own. So you are right, I did make it up. At least that part. As for other words, well, I do a lot of reading in my copious spare time. And I wanted to use language that reflected that Edward was exceptionally educated, from days gone by, and snotty as well. :) Snarky, too.

Jacob is lying through his teeth. The only Quileute tribal member who ordered Bella be taken from the hospital was Daddy dearest. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed, is our dear Jacob, lying like that on tape for God and country to see. :)

Rose will warm towards Bella, but not for the reason you might expect.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: October 05, 2009 09:34 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness Part Six - Bonkers

Talk about house make-over!!  LOL  Is $15,000,000 enough???!!!  LMFAO  Just tear it down and build a new one!

O.k., what's with the stuff in the cave?  Was it jinxed?  I've never read about a Jacob that was this dark - scary stuff!   Warped mind and all.  Yay for the Clearwaters!  I've always liked them.

So tender, Edward staying with her, even though she didn't want him to go anywhere.

Esme's such a charm; doing that reno thing to perfection.  Glad to see Rosalies coming along, somewhat.  You were right about OCD Edward - bullet proof glass for her truck??!!!  LOL

Fantastic chapter and so many good one liners.  Can't remember them now, I'll have to re-read...   ; /  *that's a smirk, lol*



Author's Response:

Hi there antipyro!

I wanted to show just how out of touch with reality Edward was - he has no notion of the value of money. He also feels so bad about that whole nearly killing her business that he's literaly rebuilding her house. If he fixes it so that she's safe and allergen free then he can't be all that bad. Right?

There was no jinx on the cave. They just have really bad luck.

Jacob in CC is creepy, warped from birth, but not necessarily evil. He just wants to please his dad.

Glad you liked the one-lines. They were a lot of fun to write. :)

Starched Shirt Edward is blinking at you.

Books

Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: October 05, 2009 08:07 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Five - Dream Edward

See?, didn't I tell you this was a good excuse to get Bella more/better clothes????  Not that I can read your mind, LOL, as that little ability of Bella's to conjure up past memories in others is one I never even saw coming.  Good for you!

..."orgasms making the earth move"    LMFAO  Wasn't there a scream in there somewhere???  This is one of those memorable lines people nominate for prizes!!!

Thank you soooo much for Edward, sans sweater, in a turtle neck....*swooning..*



Author's Response:

Hi there antipyro!

Many, many thanks for the hilarious review. I wanted to do a different plot than Twilight. So I wanted to give Bella an ability that made all the vamps want to hang around her. Aside from her smell.

And I'm delighted you are enjoying Edward's snarky sexual boasting. :)

I should warn you since you appear to be the swooning type, that he's naked in a few chapters down the road. Stark Naked.

 

And he's blinking at you.

Books

Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: October 05, 2009 06:19 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Four - Deviant

'Dream Edward'?  Aren't all stories of this like about Dream Edward??  You're getting me confused by your Dream Edward and any Edward I read about, because he's all dream to me.  LOL

Cracking windows within a mile??  I'm waiting for the next orgasm he has.... ha ha

Loved Bella's delirium speak - funny.

I can see that Alice/Edward will replace broken objects in Bella's room with new, and of course, new clothing???  Just a hunch.



Author's Response:

Hi there antipyro!

Dream Edward is the nickname that Bella has given him when she's sleep talking. :) There are several incarnations of Edward in this story, so I can understand the confusion. :)

Yes, he most certainly did shatter glass within a mile range. And...*clears throat* that's not all he did. Notice the dresser destruction, computer catastrophe, etc.

It would be waaaaay too predictable to have Alice go shopping for Bella. So no. But you're warm.

:)

Hope you enjoy the next chapter. I had way too much fun writing it. :)

Books

Reviewer: antipyro (Signed) · Date: October 05, 2009 03:38 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Three - EdBargo

Yay, Bella!   Yay, Edward!  That Gianni guy doesn't stand a chance, well, except with either Jessica or Lauren, but they don't count.

What's with Edward's remembrance of his mother's touch?  Surely he doesn't equate Bella's touches with his mother's?  Hopefully it's just the caring aspect that is delivered.

Loved the ice grippers and the driving lessons.  WOW!  How to hit Bella hard with not only an asthma/breathing treatment/test and medications, a new nebulizer, asthma medications, epinephrine pens, thyroid testing, tetanus booster, but also including a blood sampling and an allergy test, to be scheduled!  She'll never go to the hospital again!  LOL

Mmmm, Edward in more fitted shirts??!!  Would that be considered Lemon material??  *just saying*

Now, the big question: "How is Edward going to get more sox to Bella?"



Author's Response:

Hi there antipyro!

After being uncovered as the "Groper" Gianni doesn't stand a chance with anyone. Then there's the fact that the Cullens really contemplate breaking body parts and he figures that out.

Edward in CC has lost the memory of his human parents. He has very faint memories of being held by his mother but he can't remember them in detail like vampires can all their other memories. So it's not that he's equating Bella's touch with his mother as that would be all kinds of icky. It's that he's having visions when he touches Bella - visions from his human life. Visions that are in the equivalent of vampire 3-D in that they go beyond what typical vampires sense. And they are literally giving him back parts of his memory a piece at a time. Bella is for all intents and purposes on that aspect alone, priceless to Edward. Throw in her scent....and the fact that she's cute.....he's going to have to be pried off of her with a crowbar.

I turned the doctor's visit into a bit of a satire on Edward's OCD nature which will in one particular chapter coming up go a wee bit out of control.

Edward in fitted shirts. Yum. I think that qualifies as nerd lemon material. All we need is an image and we dont' even need to read the lemon, we think it up on our own. :) *fogs glasses*

Alas, Edward can't get more sox to Bella. Mary Alice said so. :) *snorts*

Main Edward is preening in a tight fitted turtleneck just for you.

Books

Reviewer: Fitten (Signed) · Date: October 05, 2009 02:23 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Nineteen - Be Still My Beating Heart

“I…..I… ah….could ask the same question. What are you doing in my bathroom? And sir, I'm flattered, but I am straight.” I flushed even more and bit my lip, like I’d seen his daughter do a time or two.

Edward and Charlies' encounter in the bathroom was hilarious and I was surprised to see Edward so ..butt naked and inventive!! ha ha ... I loved Jasper, Carlisle and Esme joining in the fun!



Author's Response:

Hi there Fitten!

Charlie was so much fun to torture. :) I suppose I'm going to have to do it again. I think it will be the new Cullen past time. :)

Glad you enjoyed it.

Buck Naked Edward is waving at you.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: nettyrose (Signed) · Date: October 05, 2009 12:19 AM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-One - Fourteen Kinds of F*^ked Up

hey, I just want to say that I have never reviewed any fan fiction stroies before but yours is absolutely the most convoluted, interesting and original take on the Twilight world that I have read. It is a great story and I cannot wait to see how you eventually end up back at the time of the beginning chapters. You are doing a great job and I have really enjoyed reading it (even when I am meant to be doing Uni assignments! :) I love your ideas and can't wait to read the rest!

Author's Response:

Well hello there nettyrose!

Thank you so much for coming out of lurkdom to give me a review! I'm honored. :) We are starting to get towards the back end of the HOD - so the next section of chapters will be critical. I will not be going back to 3rd person when we end this arc. It's far too much fun being in Edward's head. I am working on the next chapter and still doing edits - it's at about 106 pages at present. I've posted a teaser for it on the thread on the AU forum (you have to register separately to join the forum).

Again, thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoy the story. :)

Starched Shirt Edward is blowing you a kiss.

Books

Reviewer: smiles (Signed) · Date: October 04, 2009 09:40 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-One - Fourteen Kinds of F*^ked Up

So,it took me a while, but I just read all 42 chapters! To say I'm into this story would be an understatement. I feel a little spoiled though because up until now I didn't have to wait for the next chapter! I do hope you update soon because I can't wait to see what you have planned for this story! I love hoe muxh researchyou put into all of your chapters. Its pretty cool all of the pictures and links you have posted before and after chapters. Anyway, I really can't wait for the next chapter so I hope its soon!!!

Author's Response:

Hi there smiles!

Thanks so much! And allow me to give you a belated welcome to CC. :) I am working on the next chapter as we speak. It's currently about 106 pages, and my beta has already seen it. I'm working on the revisions she suggested. I hope to have it up in a few days. And since you made me smile, I'll post a teaser in your honor on the thread. on the AU forum in a few.

And I'm delighted to hear that not only are you enjoying the story, but that the pictures are helpful as well. I am very visual, so I tend to use them when I'm writing. Edward's bedroom

You're getting one that I am currently using with this chapter. This is, if you delete the blue vases what I imagine Edward's bedroom looks like at his retreat. He strikes me as the type who would get a bed that has a footboard low enough that it would be hard for Bella to trip over.

Thanks for your review and feedback. :)

Douglas the Destroyer is waving at you, and lifting an almond in your honor.

Books

Reviewer: Fleuritup (Signed) · Date: October 04, 2009 08:25 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Six: Just So Wrong on So Many Levels

the entire chapter was hilarious. i cant believe ""Mary Sue liked being pushed by the shield then trying to press her breast against it. LMFAO damn that was too funny. they were so stupid and speaking of stupid i loved how jessical stanley now has her own category of stupidity that characters can be placed under. 



Author's Response:

Hi there Fleuritup!

I'm delighted that my sick sense of humor is entertaining you. I had loads of fun with the newborns. Now if you go back to the Tanya and the Bachelor party chapter the line about Bella surviving the newborns takes on an entirely new meaning. :)

I like the idea of stupid vampires. I also liked the idea of making them the equivalent of vampire cockroaches that could survive by dumb luck alone a nuclear blast intact.

Thanks for your review.

Mary Sue newborn is blowing kisses at you.

Books

Reviewer: Nyaris (Signed) · Date: October 04, 2009 07:06 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-One - Fourteen Kinds of F*^ked Up

Thanks again Books for a really great chapter. I am officially an addict to your story :)

Is there any Cullenary Coupling Addicts Anonymous? Where do I sign up?

I really loved the last part of your chapter, where they kinda escape the madness. Sort of. And they even start chatting. For real ! I'm Hifivin' them both. Big time.

I even start liking the horny newborns. That's how hooked I am :D

Anyway, my dear Books, it's just past 4am in my dear Normandy and I need my beauty sleep since I'm starting to get fugly... I promise promise promise my next review will be longer.

Here's a good night song for you, hope you'll enjoy :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4k5JWegwHg



Author's Response:

Hi there Nyaris!

You spoil me so! A review AND music! You are made of awesome, my dear. Jugurtha is lavishing air kisses in your direction. I do not know of any CC AA chapters. I think you can found one. Although at the rate I'm going I don't think you'll have to worry about the onset of symptoms for a while. Although we are nearing the end of the HOD arc, I still have the rest of the story to tell. :) *evil grin*

You will see more of the horny newborns in the next chapter. Swear.

I wanted in this current chapter to "show" that the impact of killing a human sank in with Bella. I always felt in the books that she came across as awfully cavalier about Edward's past as a murderer. And in my mind, seeing her freak out about killing one person most definitely is going to have an impact on Edward. He's convinced at this point that he could never tell her because she simply could not handle it. She'd never accept him for the Real Him if she's this upset about self-defense. At least that's what is running through his mind as he listens to her.

Get some rest!

And many, many thanks!

Books

 

Some music for you.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJPtD4CO9No&NR=1

 

 

Reviewer: oncebitten (Signed) · Date: October 04, 2009 05:52 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-One - Fourteen Kinds of F*^ked Up

Hi books,

       Thanks for the shout out ! You put so much research in your story you go the extra mile ,and it really shows. Your are an excellant writter and story teller! I got a kick out of Jugurtha telling Starch shirt about neccessity of a bra that was priceless. Looking for to the next chapter .

                                  Take care, oncebitten



Author's Response:

Hi oncebitten!

Thanks so much for the kind reviews! I loved working your pen name into the story. :) The lingerie section seems to be a big hit. I am of course going to have to continue their debate. :) I'm having loads of fun doing research on period lingerie. Ye Gads!

The horrors of sagging.

Now I have to have Jugurtha explain the necessity of thongs. I think.

Jugurtha is giving you his best leer,

Books

Reviewer: June (Signed) · Date: October 04, 2009 04:20 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-One - Fourteen Kinds of F*^ked Up

Poor things.  I don't know if I want to hug those crazy kids or smack their heads together.  I can't wait to see the hijinks that will ensue with them holed up, alone, in a house, together.  I suspect we haven't seen the last of the window rattling.  Or the talking.  To each other that is.  Oh the matching pink bra and boyshort combo is only the beginning of the squirming and blushing and general embarassment...I hope.

It appears that his family didn't react quite how he expected them to.  Or is he going to twist their request for he and Bella to disappear into something it isn't?  Or is he going to go all "new moon" and try to sacrifice himself (Masada...I love how you make us smarter by reading this)?

If I were to suddenly aquire the talent to form a band, I assure you "new killer blues" will be the title of my first record.  Lovely.

Saint Agatha is the patron saint of breasts and earthquakes.  No kidding.  I'd be more than happy to teach SSE a little about both!

Wonderful chapter as always.   Thank you for letting us come on this roller coaster with you!



Author's Response:

Hi there June!

Now, of couse, I am going to have to research St. Agatha and make some sort of reference in the next chapter and credit you with it. :) Nerdtease.

I'm working on the next chapter edits. I hope the section will satisfy those improper readerly urges that SSE is worried about you for having. :) *snorts*

Edward's problem when it comes to his family is that he has a HUGE blind spot in regards to predicting how they will behave in regards to him. To me, it made perfect sense that Carlisle would ask him to take off. Edward can maintain rings around the family from a distance - albeit he has to focus. He proved that in the How 'Bout 'Dem Apples chapter as the rings stayed in place around the mansion most of the time. So the family doesn't lose anything by him not being there. Also, Carlisle really did mean it when he told Edward that the responsibility for protecting the family did not rest on his shoulders alone.

Carlisle also is genuinely concerned that Edward needs some time off by himself because the extra scrutiny that he would have staying around the house could be detrimental for him. With all the work they will be needing to get accomplished, having Bella around the house would be inconvenient at present if she's going to stay ignorant. Esme would like nothing better to keep Edward there and hug him and tell him how proud she is of him, but she's going to respect Carlsile's call on this because she, too, has noticed how uncomfortable Edward has been with all the attention. And in their minds, they'll have plenty of time to talk things over. And then there's the deal that I do try to do the unexpected. Sending him and Bella off alone to skulk fell into that category for me.

Although I will be using some plot points from New Moon (and the other books), it is a goal of mine that I will not be vomiting the book (any of them, for that matter) back at you. I have already established that Edward and Bella will be separated for a while in the first arc of the story. I will NOT be having him do any of the NM reasons for that separation. I'm so tired of reading the NM break up scene and the same arguments. And don't get me wrong, I found them interesting when I first started reading them, and NM AU's are a vice of mine. I'm just burned out on them at present and didn't want to make my story a clone of others. And many people have written far better versions of that argument than I ever could....so I'll be trying something new. I hope.

Glad you liked the "new killer blues" it would make an interesting band name or song title. :)

Keep your seatbelt handy. You'll need it. *evil grin*

Books

Reviewer: Sheeijan (Signed) · Date: October 04, 2009 02:41 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-One - Fourteen Kinds of F*^ked Up

In a way I'm surprised at Bella for shoeing such regret for killing one of those evil guys. I understand it, because Bella is truly a good person. But at the same time she is a very logical person. Killing him was definitely justified. I guess I'm a horrible soul because I don't see why getting so upset over it.

Taking Bella and being isolated together was an unexpected event. It will be interesting to see what happens in their relationship. Can Edward keep his foot out of his mouth?

I can't believe he's been able to keep all of his secrets thus far! Alice knows something though, I'm sure that worries him - well, I he had the time to think about it I guess.

Thanks for the update!

Author's Response:

Hi there Sheeijan!

Thanks so much for your feedback. The question I have for you is this (and I'm not arguing with you - just playing Satan - a role I love). Why does showing emotion have to make sense? Bella has been trained from a young age by Liam to stay composed in crises situations that are a matter of life and death (not social discourse). So she falls back on her training, and even though she's drugged and scared, she manages to make it through the orchard and subsequent conversation with Edward falling back on those reserves. But eventually, I felt I had to show she was still a 17-year old kid who, because she was a good person, and because she had never harmed a fly in her her life, had to emotionally deal with the consequences of her actions. She may have had the moral high ground - and to me that is what fueled her emotions in that scene - she did the 'right' thing but still felt horrible about it afterwards and THAT made her feel even worse. I don't think you are horrible at all for not understanding what I was trying to convey. I think that probably comes down to my limitations as a writer. :) Not yours as a reader.It always bugged me in the books how she seemed to wave away his history of killing humans. I wanted to toy with that in this scene. Edward is listening to her completely have a melt down over justifiably killing one human. How do you think that makes him feel about himself? How do you think he feels about confessing his past to her in light of her behavior? Snowball's chance in hell at this point is what he considers his chances of telling her about his past and having her accept him.

I did not want to write a fiction where Alice knew everything all along and had all this secret wisdom that she hoarded. Everyone does that. So in my mind, Alice has several different scenarios that she has seen - it doesn't mean that any of them will happen. And she is keeping her mouth shut. To me this is Alice's way of letting Edward make his own choices and respecting him as an adult. I did think with him having the wolf powers that making her not completely blind, but definitely handicapped in reading his future, was useful to the story. And keep in mind that Edward has been keeping secrets without breaking a sweat for decades from his family. What I've been trying to show in this story is that it was easy for him to keep secrets because he kept his mouth shut and his contact with his family at a minimum. Now that he's talking and opening up to them, it's increasingly harder and harder for him to keep his secrets. And you'll see just how hard coming up. :)

Thanks so much for your review, your feedback, and your support of my story. I love hearing what you have to say. :)

Douglas the Destroyer is waving an almond in your honor.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Fleuritup (Signed) · Date: October 04, 2009 02:18 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Three: Family Trees and First Dates

wow this chapter was hilarious, and that letter edward sent. clearly it wasnt from a student, but was very funny up until charlie started sobbing, now that was sad. edward was painfully blunt in the letter but sometimes you got to be that way. oh my favorite line from the story is"What female with half a brain considered a male "perfect" or "godlike" anyway? And what man with testosterone functioning spoke in "velvet" tones? Clearly, she'd read far too many of those silly human romance novels." LOL now thats funny. I also noticed that edward is very possessive but what stands out is that he says in this chapter that bella is his or belongs to him father said so. that reminded me of jacob and his thoughts towards bella. although i know edward is slowly developing feelings for her, where as jake is just following orders.



Author's Response:

Hi there Fleuritup!

I'm delighted that you enjoyed my twisted sense of humor. I had far, far, too much fun torturing Charlie. I wanted to show him having a wake up moment. I also have been trying to show that despite the stilted emotional relationship between Charlie and Bella, his heart is in the right place. You make a very good point about Edward and his possessiveness. I have been trying to use him and Jacob as foils and you are the only one who caught that distinction in that chapter. :)

I remember reading a guy commenting on Twilight. He was in his late 20's and had read the books because his female co-workers would not shut up about them so he read them to find out what the big deal was. And he made this hilarious comment that stuck with me. He said as a guy reading Bella's POV it was irritating listening to her squee over how hot Edward was over and over and over again. He had to skim those parts so he wouldn't throw the book. And I had to use that with Edward. I'm a big fan of irony. :)

Thanks so much for your review. It made me think. A lot. :)

Starched Shirt Edward is blowing you kisses.

Books

Reviewer: BellaS (Signed) · Date: October 04, 2009 01:25 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-One - Fourteen Kinds of F*^ked Up

I loved the beginning and the breast sagging bit...too funny!

Bella said the sweetest thing to edward at the end about how he mattered to both her and his family. Too sweet for words.

It must have been super awkward for edward to pull out Bella's bra...he should have just handed her the bag.

Edward handled the issue with Bella being a first-time killer really well. He didn't need assistance from his family at all. he was attentive and ried really hard to let her get her issues off her chest.

It was really messed up of Jasper to send waves of lust to charlie when he's around edward (paula paula paula hehe).



Author's Response:

Hi there BellaS!

Thanks so much for the feedback! I had waaay too much fun with SSE and Jugurtha in this chapter. I'm thinking their debate on lingerie will have to continue. Main Edward would like me to tell you that holding out her undergarments to her was every bit as mortifying if not more so than standing without clothing in front of her idiot father. Worse, he had planned on standing in front of her idiot father. He most certainly had not planned on causing his dear little one distress.

Glad you liked the first time killer blues conversation. I didn't think that Edward and Bella would iron every issue out in my mind. To me the talk would be limited, awkward, and both would leave things half said. They aren't the biggest communicators, those two. So to me that conversation was tough to write. What you should keep in mind is that Bella has probably told Edward more about her life and her feelings than she has anyone else since Liam died.

And yes, Jasper's manipulation of Charlie was sick and twisted. He had to protect his brother, and making Charlie mortified and confused was for him the best part.

Jugurtha is blowing a kiss at you.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: sariedee (Signed) · Date: October 03, 2009 11:15 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-One - Fourteen Kinds of F*^ked Up

yay! i am caught up! lol when i went to bookmark this chapter in my "newupdates" folder, i accidentally started reading it. i am enjoying bella and edwards time alone. i really do feel bad for sam, as honestly, he had no control over it. leah is going to be sad and pissed when she finds out about the baby. i enjoyed the chapter...definitely looking forward to more...there is so much that is sure to happen!



Author's Response:

Hi there sariedee!

*wags finger at you*

You should be in bed, little missy, catching up on your rest. :) Although I'm delighted that you liked the chapter. I had a lot of fun with Edward and Bella. It was very important to me that we see her having to deal with what had happened on that night.

Working on the next chapter already. Swear. Beta has already shredded it once. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: sariedee (Signed) · Date: October 03, 2009 10:19 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty - Between a Rock and a Hard Place, Not that Kind of Hard Place. Maybe.

let me start off by saying, i feel like last chapter's review was fail...there is so much i forgot to mention! (which is why i open a seperate window and review WHILE reading lol) date night was nice...saw zombieland with some friends. now i am back online and he's back watching college football/playing xbox live lol...as we usually are.

LOVE douglas the squirrel lol

wooo! louisiana! ;)

i loved edward strapping a drugged bella into a tree...and bella thinking she's watched too many disney movies

wow...so. i have to say, i might be speechless! so much is happening. takes a while to process it. i like badass ninja bad guy killing edward. i am really curious to know what they mean by his sacrifice being bella... i feel really bad for leah and the clearwaters. i am assuming these immortals that are coming are the ones bella described before? i am not that worried about the volturi or bella being changed...given the first chapters of cc before heart of darkness ;) jeez now i really want to read the next chapter...but i am soooo sleepy! maybe tomorrow! soon for sure. can't wait to see what happens next! i am liking the breakneck speed and random story progression (well, you know what i mean-random to me, there's stuff flying in from everywhere!)



Author's Response:

Hi there Sariedee!

Glad to hear you enjoyed the movie. I'll have to go and check it out now. :) My family becomes hypnotized when LSU plays. It's amazing. Glad you like Douglas the squirrel. He's getting his own fan club. douglas

I had to throw in the Disney line because my beta threatened bodily harm if I did not. If you liked that line, she wrote it. :)

Never assume anything in my story. That's all I'm sayin'. You raise a good point in that since you know the first few chapters that Bella appears to be in one piece there's only so much I can do with a cliffhanger. The gloves are totally off as soon as this arc is done. :) *evil grin*

Glad you are enjoying the story. I had a blast writing this section. :) Get some rest, chere.

Best

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