Your donations help keep this site running, thank you very much for the support!
Reviewer: lovebooks (Signed) · Date: November 05, 2009 08:30 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Nine - Legacy
Ok, Paula has her own agenda, NOT having Charlie's baby but making Billy believe that she IS trying...The whole heart rebeating thing is somehow the shaman/necklace power. Bella is unlocking the memories they have blocked, maybe she'll unlock all of Edward's shaman transferred powers? Wooo, now I know why you said not to skim b/c we'd get confused, glad now that I listened ;) Paula's missing "baby" must be the one to be the new shaman or something equally as important!!
Author's Response: Hi there lovebooks!
Paula most definitely has her own agenda. And yes the whole heart beat deal is connected to the wolf powers. Beyond that, I can't say aside from telling you that you will get many answers soon. :)
Thanks for the feedback. And you're totally right on that skimming business. :)
Best,
Books
Reviewer: Lady Dragona (Signed) · Date: November 05, 2009 06:01 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-Four - My Name is Edward Cullen, and I Have a Heart Problem
Once again Edard fails to undersatnd that Bella needs to be able to choose her future. He needs to let her make the choice on the whole mortality issue. I think that he is trying though. He just needs help in figuring out how to let her understand his point of view without scaring her and then he needs to try to understand hers. I think that might be the more scarry of the two personally.
Author's Response: Hi there Lady Dragona!
You are right. :) The way I see it is that behavior that was considered normative in Edward's generation between men and women - would NOT be considered normative now. In his day, it was considered "normal" for the husband to make major decisions about the welfare of the family and inform the family members. Women couldn't vote when he died. So it doesn't really occur to Edward at this point that she should have a vote. He'll get there. :)
Best,
Books
Reviewer: Lady Dragona (Signed) · Date: November 05, 2009 02:17 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-Two - The Sword of Damocles
What a touching chapter. I loved the whole section on Edward warring with himself over killing Bella. She saved herself and Edward both with that kiss. Wow. I also loved the way Carlisle was able to let Jane and Alec know they were kin and talk them into keeping the vampire blades. Jasper and he are very crafty. Elezar is also wonderful in that exchange. I am so glad that Carlisle was able to keep them away from the house.
Author's Response: Hi there Lady Dragona!
I was worried when I wrote that chapter a year ago that people would kill me for it. I'm blown over that it's been received so well. And I wanted her to live out of sheer dumb luck. She chose that moment of all moments to be bold.
And I love writing Carlisle as having untapped depths. :) Jasper, too.
thanks so much for spoiling me with the review(s).
:)
Books
Reviewer: CindyWindy (Signed) · Date: November 05, 2009 12:10 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-Four - My Name is Edward Cullen, and I Have a Heart Problem
What a rollicking good time that was! That would make such a cool movie scene!
Help, why does Bella say "please" to Carlisle re' the locket? Or something else?
The part with Eve and her mate was heartbreaking.
How Jasper, Alice, et al, will patch things up is hard to conceive. What a tangled web that Jasper didn't really weave. He's had such a rough life at times, and it continues.
Holy murderer of aphids Edward! For whatever I don't care what the heck it is reason, that must have been so hard for Bella to hear him say he'd rather she die. She seems to have already forgiven him some, or at least understood his point of view (not condemning her), since she does hold and squeeze his hand. I just know you're not done with that yet.
I cannot wait to see how you get from here to the first part of the story. That is gonna be so fun! Not all fun I know, but watching you weave the tale is very enjoyable. There is such a promise of more to come. E&B have a long way to go.
P.S. Yep, finally made it to twilighted just to review your story. :-) Does one usually just review either here or on ff, or copy the review to both places? Yep, dumb question (and yeah, there are dumb questions).
Author's Response: Hi there CindyWindy!
Welcome to twilighted! I'm stoked that you enjoyed the chapter as I have never written a battle scene and that was not easy. :) And you are the only person so far to catch that "Please" from Bella so I'll tell you. She was begging him to change her. She heard every word and knew Edward wouldn't, so she was asking Carlisle in that word to either a) change her because she was in so much pain and feared she would die, or b) help bring Edward around. She was essentially begging him for help with their relationship because she knew she was in over her head. And Carlisle totally got it. Edward did not.
I'm glad that Eve's death struck a nerve. I wanted to "show" how despite her loving Liam - she was happy with her mate. I also wanted to show it as a contrast with Jasper/Alice/Annie-Victoria. You're totally right on Jasper having a tough life. To me, he's had a far tougher road to hoe (pardon the pun) than Edward. And in my mind he's boat loads stronger than Edward.
And you are right in that it was devastating for Bella. Her squeezing his hand at the end of the chapter in Edward's mind was a sign that things were going well. To Bella it was her way of trying to "show" him that she loves him. He really ripped her heart out by refusing to change her. Bella assumed that he would change her so they could be together. She never asked. And Edward for his part was all about avoiding having that discussion in the first place. I would not make the assumption that because she's squeezed his hand that he's forgiven. It certainly meant that in the past (when he made that tactless comment when she vomited the first time). It doesn't mean that now. Bella's not unforgiving by nature - but she does hold onto hurt - and since she doesn't sit down and talk things through with people she either mentally excuses their behavior (think back on her telling Edward that her father always wanted a son and loves Jacob more than he loves her and that she doesn't blame him for it - because he's spent more time with Jacob than with her) or she avoids them.
I'm glad you are excited about the rest of the story. We are definitely going to be moving towards that end. Coming up next.
I have some readers who cut and paste their reviews into both sites, which I'm always flattered by, although they don't have to do it. I have other readers who will write one comment on one site, and another on the other. Do whatever you are comfortable with doing - I'm just ecstatic I got a review in the first place. :) And there is no such thing as a dumb question. :)
Thanks so much for your feedback,
Starched Shirt Edward is blowing a kiss at you,
Books
Reviewer: lovebooks (Signed) · Date: November 05, 2009 12:06 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Eight: Something Fetid This Way Blows
What I have gleaned from this chapter. Grandma Swan is the baby girl that Edward helped deliver and held right after birth, that Bella has some sort of power from Grandma Swan(probably the whole Irish Leprachaun thing ;D) , Paula Black wants a child with powers because she and Billy believe this will put the Blacks back in tribal leadership, and last but not least, the jade necklace has something to do with it all!
Author's Response: Hi there lovebooks!
I will tell you that some things you are dead on target, others? Not so much. I don't want to spoil the story for you, but you will get your answers to those questions very soon. :)
Thanks for the review - you have a sharp eye. :) Keeps me on my toes.
Best,
Books
Reviewer: Cullen Concession (Signed) · Date: November 05, 2009 09:50 AM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-Four - My Name is Edward Cullen, and I Have a Heart Problem
Intense battle scene. Thank you for your throughness. Jugurtha rocks!
Author's Response: Hi there Cullen Concession!
I've never written a battle scene, before so thank you very much for your feedback. :) I was kinda sorta nervous about posting it. :)
Jugurtha thinks you rock, too.
He's throwing trout lilies at your feet.
Best,
Books
Reviewer: lovebooks (Signed) · Date: November 05, 2009 07:32 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen
hmmmm, Edward and Bella have so much in common, for different reasons. Neither want to ask for help, Bella to avoid being a burden, feeling like she is not worth it and Edward, afraid if he does he will be a burden and asked to leave. Both not feeling worthy of love. Poor broken souls, they so need each other. UGH, JAcob. I am not a big Jacob fan to begin with and the mentality of this one is disgusting.
Author's Response: Hi there lovebooks!
You know, the sad thing to me is that the Jacob character in the books had potential and I think SM got lost along the way because she fell out of "love" with the Edward character and lost his voice and switched her loyalty over to telling Jacob's story in a place it didn't belong. She could have made an entire series about Jacob growing up and learning how to get over whatever it was he felt for Bella - I never bought it as love AT ALL. I don't have children, but I do have a niece and I really don't like the idea of her reading a book that sends the message (Eclipse) "Hey when a guy forces himself on you and kisses you against your will, and tells you that you really don't understand your own mind.....and that you really are attracted to him and in denial....HEY he's right." Who knew? And that whole wanting to murder the venom spawn and Rosalie and no one ever said a thing to him about it.....I would have done more than dislocate his shoulder. So I had some pretty big problems with what was done with Jake. As someone of Native American descent, I also took objection to the pathology she established of having young men form what came across as predatorial relationships with infants and toddler girls. So yeah, I really had some issues with that part of the series. It could all have been innocent and simply not explained well. But what I took away from it left a bad taste in my mouth.
When I wrote the confrontation scene between Edward and Jacob in the front arc of the HOD, Oxymoronic8 (If you haven't read IVO run, don't walk to it - she also has a oneshot out - yeah it starts out with Bella dating Jake but give it a chance) told me that I made Jake too "cartoony" - and she was right. So I rethought the way I wanted him portrayed. I wanted to show someone who like Edward and Bella simply wanted to be loved. And was basically told his entire life by his father that Billy's love had strings attached. Jake had to follow his plan - and do the seemingly impossible - or Billy would withdraw his love (not that he ever had any in the first place). So I see Jake in CC in a double bind. He resents the heck out of Bella. Jake is closer to Charlie (despite Charlie being oblivious to it) than he is to his own father and now Bella has moved in with Charlie which cuts into Jake's time with him. Jake is expected to marry Bella and he doesn't even like her. I'm not writing him this way to excuse his behavior in any way - he's a toad. To me I just wanted to make him different from canon with a reasonable backstory that explained his douche-ness.
I definitely agree with you on Edward not feeling worthy of love. I don't know at this point I'd go so far to say that is true of Bella. I think what is going on in Bella is that she's been so quiet and withdrawn that she really has tuned out men. She's seen her mother make mistake after mistake and vowed she'd never go down that road of endless dating and casual sex with men who weren't emotionally good for her. So she doesn't really have a model to follow since she didn't have many close friends in Arizona. Now all of a sudden she's in the throes of a new relationship - and although she's fantasized about Edward since she was 7 years old - what it would be like to be in love with him - when she met him in the flesh - she never thought he'd take a second look at her. Not because she didn't think she was unworthy, but because she knew he was a vampire and she a human. But his words at the end of that chapter really did do some serious knocking the wind out of her. She's wondering why he'd propose to her, and yet insist he'd rather she die than turn her. Bella had assumed that she would be turned so she couuld be with him forever. She never asked about it, and that's part of their problem. No one ever bothered to consult her or ask her opinion, and she assumed once everything was out in the open that he would turn her.
We'll be working on that issue. Soon.
:)
Books
Reviewer: Lady Dragona (Signed) · Date: November 04, 2009 08:56 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-One - Fourteen Kinds of F*^ked Up
What a chapter. The trip home and the MRI. Poor Edward all that brain damage from using the powers. He sure is in a catch 22. I love that he took her to his special hideout. What a great house. It sounds close to perfect. He is doing much better with talking. He might figure this out yet.
Author's Response: Hi there Lady Dragona!
Thanks! I wanted to give Edward multiple places that he goes to in order to "show" how isolated his life has been even while living as a Cullen. His existence in my mind consisted of going to school, pretending to belong to his family for an hour or two afterwards and then leaving the house to afford the couples privacy. Every night. For decades. And he would return in time to change for school and start it all over again. And a main theme of the wolfpire storyline has been "power requires sacrifice" so in order to use the powers, Edward has to experience pain. It's a balance, to me.
I modeled the house after one a friend of the family owned, He had cathedral ceilings in it and a wall of glass and it literally was like walking into a treehouse encased in glass. And the bedrooms were built downstairs against the side of the hill. Strange looking house on the outside, gorgeous inside. They could eat and watch deer graze.
Best,
Books
Reviewer: lovebooks (Signed) · Date: November 04, 2009 08:00 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness Part Six - Bonkers
I think you excellently conveyed how "off" Edward is right now. It's like his actions are his coping mechanism to denying his feelings. He rationalizes everything! And one of the funniest lines? "I had never picked up any hint of an arranged marriage in her Father's mind. Who were the Blacks to make these decisions for my human? Misogynist Morons. She belonged to me." HA! hello, pot and kettle, you are both black!!!
I get a kick whenever he refers to the how any vampire would treat his singer in such a way, b/c well, we all know she should by all accounts be dead if this were the normal vampire/singer realtionship!
Author's Response: Hi there Lovebooks! I swear I still have pen name envy. :) And you are right on target. Edward is spiraling out of control because he can't handle feeling out of control - which is how he felt around Bella, and he most certainly due to that whole sexual repression issue - doesn't want to think about that unfortunate incident of inadvertant venom leakage. Sooo, he's not a bad guy if he "fixes" her life, right? Right? Besides, it's for them. For their future. Seriously.
And I'm glad you are enjoying the irony and snark. I'm a big fan of both of them. :) In spades.
Thanks so much for reviewing.
Best,
Books
Reviewer: June (Signed) · Date: November 04, 2009 04:44 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-Four - My Name is Edward Cullen, and I Have a Heart Problem
Um, wow. These last two chapters have been doozies. You know that I have a partiular fondness for CC Jasper and Alice, but there is no way I could have ever seen this coming. How incredibly original! You've woven every character into the story so far, and most of them in unique but ultimately canon-ish ways (or in many cases, better than canon ways!). But Victoria...his wife?!? Fantastic. You feigned with the allusion to "Big Love" Alice, but then knocked it home with Jasper instead. How to deal with the emotional onslaught with his Civil War era sensibilities. Love it! I must admit though, I am a little confused when it comes to Alice and James...were they really, or was he just working the angle? I've got my fingers crossed for an inside look at the conversation that is sure to come between Jasper and Alice. Hell, I'll even beg for it. Just a *ahem* taste...?
And of course Edward kisses like that. But that does not excuse him for his behavior. No girl wants to hear that her newly bethrothed would rather her be dead than with him forever. I really expected "the kiss" to be the turning point when he finally realized that it wasn't just about the scent, but it seems he still has a way to go. I really, really hope, nonconfrontational style aside, that Bella does not let him off that easy.
I love this story. There's just no other way to say it. Wonderful!
Author's Response: Hi there June!
I am delighted that I managed to surprise you. :) *evil grin* I wanted Annie to literally whallop Jasper over the head to the point where his tact and diplomacy literally went out the window - as did everyone else's because they all just froze. I have no intention of writing this as a love triangle in the traditional sense. Jasper is mated to Alice. Period. Jasper when alive loved Annie with all his heart. He "sacrificed" her by literally leaving her alone after being turned because he thought if he acted like his family was not important that was the only way he could protect them. It never occurred to him that she had been turned. And when he returned to the family mansion and found her grave, it broke his heart. He turned away from fighting because he saw that his sacrifice had been in vain. So her showing up and saying she's been searching the earth for him for over a century? Awkward. And to me it doesn't make sense to devalue his love for Annie. I never bought into that bit that SM did with imprinting of having the men "forget" their feelings of love for anyone else. Jasper loves Annie. He's fully mated to Alice. There is no decision that needs to be made. And he has no intention of insulting his first wife by asking her to "share" him. So, yeah, he's up a creek without a paddle. Because Annie has no intention of letting the other woman have him.
James is a lying scumbag. He was never married to Alice. He saw her at the asylum and her blood sang to him. Benedict turned her when he did to save her from James. James burned down the asylum in a bid to snatch her. He's been looking for her off and on ever since. You will at some point see that conversation between Alice and Jasper. I'll try to fit it in and if I have to, I'll make it a one-shot. But I promise you'll see that. Scout's honor.
The kiss for Edward most certainly made an impression. But he hasn't figured out how it worked and why. He hasn't had time to process it, and he's more than irritated that the Quileute elders took that power from him. How does he explain to Bella that he can no longer, ahem, perform like that? It's not you. It's me. Seriously. Swear. I'm not lying. This time.
Edward in his mind is completely justified in insisting that she stay human for several reasons. They'll be outlined soon but I don't mind sharing a few as they've already been articulated. First, the birds really do work now. Any one who bites her will be torn to pieces. So even if he wanted to, he doesn't see how she could be turned. Second, Bella pukes at th scent of blood. How, then would she feed? The algae is drying up, there's no guarantee that she could even tolerate it given her history of allergies to mold. Those are a few. He has more. Then there's the selfish side of him that simply balks because he's been told that she would lose her scent. (and she will) if turned. And he firmly believes that since her scent is what allows him to heal and to take succor, that it would make his existence miserable to be without it. That's the selfish bastard part of him that is in denial. Bella will not be letting him off easy. Promise. I'm also not going to write her as being a bitch because to me that doesn't flow with her character.
As ever, thanks so much for your review. :)
Best,
Books
Bella is waving at you, trout lily in hand.
Reviewer: Lady Dragona (Signed) · Date: November 04, 2009 04:31 PM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty - Between a Rock and a Hard Place, Not that Kind of Hard Place. Maybe.
I was very worried for Bella when she started telling Edward all kinds of things about himself that she shouldn't know. I hope that at some point she gets a say in what happens to her. The whole earth swallowing thing ws pretty cool.
I think that Edward isn't going to have to give Bella up forever, just a small period of time. It will probably be extremely hard on both of them. I am sure that is coming up soon.
Author's Response: Hi there Lady Dragona!
I was so entertained writing that scene. I'm glad that it worked for you. I liked sweeping the rug out from underneath Edward. It was so much fun it should be illegal in three states. I wanted with the earth swallowing to show that occasionally the powers control edward, he doesn't control them. And to freak out his family, of course. For Edward if they are that freaked out about him disposing of corpses that were killed in justifiable defense of human life - how do you think he's going to predict they would react if they found out about all the OTHER corpse disposing he'd done in Chicago?
Best,
Books
Reviewer: smiles (Signed) · Date: November 04, 2009 03:01 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-Four - My Name is Edward Cullen, and I Have a Heart Problem
Haha. I love that carlisle got called a pretty boy. That made me laugh. I also liked the whole edward calling pheonix ugly. That was another laughing point.
I really hope edward pulls his head out soon and decides to change bella! Great battle in the chapter though, this was just a great chapter altogether but I don't need to tell you that though because they're all great chapters!! I'll be watching for the next update to find out if bella is going to talk to edward again! I hope its coming soon!
Author's Response: Hi there smiles!
Thanks for the review! I wanted to point out the irony that Edward calls Carlisle, "Father" when in physical age terms, Carlise is only 23, and Edward 17. And only Edward would be arrogant enough and clueless at the same time to call Phoenix ugly. Phoenix is like the big bad wolf in the immortal world. And Edward is blithely calling him ugly. If you re-read Lies, Dreams, and Schemes, in the front arc of the story, you'll see that Bella is still human. So he's not changing her any time soon. Bella and Edward will talk next chapter. Swear. :)
Best,
Books
Reviewer: Fleuritup (Signed) · Date: November 04, 2009 02:00 PM · On: Prologue: Bella, Sex, and Privacy
now i really feel bad for edward since you explained the power not working but really working. poor guy is so self loathing an d lacks confience and worries soo much that others will be disappointed and send him away that he she have multiple ulcers by now, i hope someone will knock some since into him that he is the family and wont be sent away. he seems to doubt or questions the motives behinde bellas affection in this chapter also, i mean does he truly hate the idea of being wanted for himself because thats the way he makes it seem. that whole carlisle telling him to not disreguard bellas feelings and man up or whatever he said in the begining arch makes so much sense now. well it made since awhile ago after seeing how he is just using bella really, before he started developing feelings. AWESOME STORY!
Author's Response: Hi there Fleuritup!
Thanks for the review. I'll try to give you the thumbnail's sketch answer to this and if it doesn't make sense feel free to PM me.
Edward is in a delusional state due to Chicago and trauma from his change. He really does not understand how love works because he had no emotional memory of it. And he is self-loathing to boot, so he has decided that he has to prove his worth to his family by protecting them. Since in his mind he's been pretending with Bella, she can't love the Real Him.
Many thanks for the feedback. You spoil me so. :)
Books
Reviewer: Sheeijan (Signed) · Date: November 04, 2009 11:41 AM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-Four - My Name is Edward Cullen, and I Have a Heart Problem
Well, Bella's a smart girl. Surely Edward's use of the word "condemn" will be a bit of a lightbulb for her? He doesn't want to condemn her to this life, that shows he doesn't consider this life a very good one. But yeah, I understand that her even bringing it up to him was a big deal for her. I don't get how these two will ever get their issues resolved with all the talking problems they have. But perhaps Bella will just turn to one of the others to turn her since Edward doesn't want to do it. It seems like the kind of sneaky underhanded thing that would fit into her upbringing.
I hate that Edward accidentally hurt Bella like that in trying to protect her. *sigh* She lost her spleen! Not that she really needed it but still. Do the Cullens not realize that Edward does not intend to live without Bella so if she were to eventually die a natural human death, he will die too? Or have they simply not had a chance to think that far ahead?
Thanks for the update!
Author's Response: Hi there Sheeijan!
You are right, indeed. Bella is a very smart girl. And I'm trying to write her as smart but not some super-genius who can figure out every problem put in front of her. (Not that you are implying, I am. :) ). I wanted Edward and Bella both to be shy, very shy, but I kept in mind the shy people that I know. They are married and they manage to communicate. Not perfectly, and often with effort, but they get the job done and have happy marriages. But it took time and practice. And Bella and Edward both have only known each other for a short time, and have been getting practice under stressful circumstances. If you look at their behavior in the front arc, shyness drives a lot of it. I will never write them as having effortless communication, but they won't always be as awkward as they are now. Hope that makes sense.
The Cullens fully intend on turning Bella. So for them, that whole keeping her human and Edward dying when she does deal is not even on the table for consideration. And Mary Alice has been keeping her mouth shut trying to trust Edward to do the right thing when she "does" know what is going on. And because of his powers she is often working blind. She has Edward on her list of people to have a long chat with. Right after her husband. Mate. Er, whatever. :)
Thanks so much,
Books
Reviewer: Lady Dragona (Signed) · Date: November 04, 2009 11:39 AM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness Part Thirty Three - About that Kissing Business
What an exciting chapter. Poor Jasper two wives. I knew James had to show up at some times. I love the kisses that Edward was giving Bella. I don't think he was doing what he was doing on purpose. I think it just kind of happened the first time. I look forward to the upcomeing battle. Poor Edward - What happened to Grace?
Author's Response: Hi there Lady Dragona!
Thanks so much for the feedback! Jasper - life truly sucks for him right now. Two wives and he loves them both. Although I must stress I am not writing a love triangle. He is with Alice. Period. Edward didn't do what he was doing on purpose initially, but then he got a little overconfident and pushed it a little farther - with Bella's cooperation than perhaps he should have considering all she's been through in the past few days not to mention his own emotional state. I wanted to portray it to me how young kids when first experimenting with sexuality have to learn about those pesky boundaries.
Grace stayed out of it because Edward told her he needed privacy.
Hope that helps,
Best,
Books
Reviewer: Sheeijan (Signed) · Date: November 04, 2009 10:57 AM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness Part Thirty Three - About that Kissing Business
Well, that was interesting. Didn't expect James and Victoria to show up! But honestly, you'd think Edward would know about the sin of pride. He got overly confident on himself, methinks. I just hope Bella couldn't hear whatever the noise was.
Thanks for the update!
Author's Response: Edward is rock stubborn. That's part of his problem. Delusional and rock stubborn about it. He's been this interesting combination of self-loathing and pride to write.
Thanks Sheeijan for the feedback. :)
Jugurtha is waving at you.
Books
Reviewer: Sheeijan (Signed) · Date: November 04, 2009 09:51 AM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-Two - The Sword of Damocles
Wow. I wonder if Alice saw what Edward was up to in that cave in those last few minutes, before Bella oh so innocently changed his mind? She must have been going crazy, if she did see. I hate that Edward had planned on killing her there in a ridiculous Romeo/Juliet recreation. I wonder if Bella had any clue whatsoever?
At least the family was beneficial in getting rid of the Volturi for now. That's one less thing on their immediate plate. Only, oh, something like 214296 other things to deal with.
Author's Response: Hi there Sheeijan!
That was not an easy scene to write. I've been rewriting it for over a year. I saw it as a logical extension of canon, because in the books he did point out that he hadn't decided whether or not to kill her in the meadow scene. Bella for the record, had absolutely no clue that was his intension. None, whatsoever.
And you are dead right on the list of problems that everyone has on their plates. That will come to a head. Soon.
Thanks so much for reviewing as always. :)
Best,
Books
Reviewer: Lady Dragona (Signed) · Date: November 04, 2009 09:12 AM · On: Chapter Eight: Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Nine - How 'Bout 'Dem Apples?
I love this chapter even more. Bella can sure suprise Edward. I think she did more than take his queen he may have just been mated and doesn't realize it.
I was wondering when Emily was going to show up. I was sorry to see her leave so quickly. I know that it was to show that imprinting is very real and the pack needs to be aware of it - but I thought they might have been able to have more time before anything bad happened.
I love how you are putting in real history and showing the compassion of the Cullens from the very beginning. The Yorkie family history was quite interesting.
I also love how you are letting people know about very real and dangerous drugs that are out there and in use.
I look forward to the Volutori visit. This should be interesting.
Author's Response: Hi there Lady Dragona!
I had so much fun writing that chapter. It's been so hard sitting on my hands in earlier ones when people said Bella was passive knowing what I knew. So I'm delighted that you enjoyed the section. :)
I wrote the deal with Emily the way I did because I never bought into the plot line in the books. If Emily loved Leah and if Emily had a choice - which SM implied the imprintee did, then Emily was heartless in agreeing to be with Sam in the first place and then asking Leah to be her bridesmaid. What a...never mind. Then there is the little problem that Sam shredded her face and yet, even though she told him that she did not want to "date" him or be with him before him fursploding on her, she decides to be with him. Who does that? So what I did in CC was to me the logical outcome of imprinting. And I wanted to show how because the tribe is an oral culture with their traditions that things became lost. Edward and Paula both knew about it, but thought since it had only happened once in the tribe's history that it would never happen again. Now the pack knows otherwise.
I read Farewell to Manzanar years ago, and when I started researching for the chapter decided to add it in. If I recall correctly, Ben Cheney in the books is supposed to be Asian, and I decided that it worked better with Erik Yorkie.
GHB is a huge problem, and has been for a while in the United States amoung younger people. It was important to me that I have a link educating people about it, and I made sure to describe the symptoms as accurately as I could so that if anyone ever does come across it, they know the warning signs.
The Volturi will be entertaining. Promise. :)
Best,
Books
Reviewer: lovebooks (Signed) · Date: November 03, 2009 08:56 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Five - Dream Edward
Edward's innocence of modern slang is hilarious, Slice keeping a straight face through all of this is even better! I can't wait to understand Bella's dreams and ability to show them their pasts.
Author's Response: Hi there lovebooks!
I wanted to have him ignorant about slang except for that used with vampires to show how out of touch he was with reality. Edward in CC has cut himself off from humanity - even with his gift by filtering out everyone's thoughts for decades except when he absolutely had to listen to check for their safety. I think of him as someone who speaks just enough of a language to pass muster, but a close examination would reveal he doesn't have the fluency that he needs to really understand what is going on around him. And I liked mocking him, too. Added benefit. :)
Bella's visions are not coming from Bella. Her Grandmother is sending them. :)
Best,
Books
Reviewer: Lady Dragona (Signed) · Date: November 03, 2009 08:14 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Twenty-Eight: You Shook Me All Night Long
This has been the best chapter so far. Eve was in love with Liam - who knew. I guess the whole changing thing is out of the question - but what if she wants it. I bet that might make a difference in the promises made. I Loved the pay back for the practical joke. I look forward to the date :)
Author's Response: Hi there Lady Dragona!
Thanks! I had way too much fun writing that chapter. Newborn twister, indeed. Yeah, I went there with Eve and Liam. I wanted to show a human-immortal relationship - one that lasted for 40 years - and one that ended tragically. The issue in this part of the story is that no one bothers to ever ask Bella what she wants. Everyone just makes decisions for her. That is the story of her life thus far.
And I am a big believer in comic karma. Glad you enjoyed it. :)
Best,
Books
Reviewer: lovebooks (Signed) · Date: November 03, 2009 08:06 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Four - Deviant
I started the story today and love the humor of the first chapters. This explanation really makes sense for Edward. Poor guy,too afraid to ever be who he really is even with other vampires. Makes me wonder now how much of the first chapters was him acting and manipulating! Does Bella ever figure out he is only using her at the beginning of their relationship?
Author's Response: Hi there lovebooks! Cool pen name, by the way. :)
You ask a very observant question about Edward's behavior. Here's what I will say without spoiling the story. Edward has a lot to be sorry for as established in the first part of the story arc. He's offended Bella greviously (although not for canon reasons). So when the events happen at the store in the first arc, he's seriously aghast because he can't bear to see her hurt. If you re-read the conversation he had with Carlisle in Lies, Dreams, and Schemes you see his mindstate.
Glad to hear you are enjoying his POV. The mystery part kicks in pretty soon. :) Thanks so much for reviewing.
Best,
Books
Reviewer: Fleuritup (Signed) · Date: November 03, 2009 08:00 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-Four - My Name is Edward Cullen, and I Have a Heart Problem
thank you for updating, it was seriously action packed. it sucks that bella heard what edward said but it is nice to see them try and confront serious issues instead rof putting them off. i am dissapointed in edward now being limited in his orgasmic kisses. but hey if bella cant have them send each one my way , thanks for updating, im wondering why edwards poers didnt work like what seemed like through an eternity of battles. i just what him and bella happy.
Author's Response: Hi there Fleuritup!
Thanks for the feedback! I have never written a battle scene so it was tough to do. I really didn't want to write about limbs gushing venom or blood splurting everywhere. Yes, it does suck that Bella heard what Edward said but it also is, in my mind, a good thing because she needed a wake-up call. I took away that particular power from Edward for a few reasons, comedy and awkwardness being one of them. How does he tell his sweetie - can't do that anymore. Sorry. No. It's not that you aren't desirable. It's me. I can't.....perform. Really. I know we did that move three times. But seriously. I'm telling the truth.
This will get covered in the next chapter, but I don't mind answering the question. Edward's powers DID work. He just decided they didn't and that made his confidence splutter and then he ran into problems because he lost focus. The fact that his entire family is still alive, Bella too, is proof they worked. Phoenix's power was that he literally could have killled the entire Cullen, Denali, and newborn clan in one fell swoop. Edward prevented it from happening. He just doesn't recognize that because he is so willing to believe that he failed based on what he experienced. Hope that made sense. :)
And I want him and Bella happy, too. We're working on that. They have a ways to go but they will most definitely get there.
Best,
Books
Reviewer: Miss Poison (Signed) · Date: November 03, 2009 07:03 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-Two - The Sword of Damocles
Obviously I read this chapter and forgot to leave you feedback. Don't mind me, it's the blonde highlights. LOL.
Author's Response: Hi there Miss Poison!
We all have days like that, hon. Some of us have years. :) Thanks so much for spoiling me so.
Best,
Books
Reviewer: venus308 (Signed) · Date: November 03, 2009 05:03 PM · On: Chapter 8 - Heart of Darkness - Part Sixteen - Can't a Century Old Vampire be a Moral Degenerate in Peace?
Hi there, I had started reading this story about a couple of weeks ago from the beginning and I've got to say that this story is one of the longest and most complicated plots I have ever come across at this site!! That being said it is also one of the most entertaining stories I've ever read!!! I just love the interraction between Edward's two alter egos and find it harlarious!! The venom leakaged testing yeah that is a real hoot too!! I think the last time I left a review was around the stag party for Edward. God that was so so funny!! And the mystery is great too! This story has pretty much sucked me in. Unfortunatly I've only gotten this far! I've got 18 more chapters to go!!
Author's Response: Hi there venus308!
Thanks so much for the feedback! It's my first fanfiction and yeah, I most definitely know that the plot is complicated. I had a few readers suggest that I give summaries before and after the stories and so you'll find as you progress from that chapter on that they become snarkier. The summaries that is. And if you like laughing I have some pretty twisted things you'll run across in the posted chapters. :)
It was a goal of mine when I started writing this to make a complicated mystery. What can I say, I got a little out of hand. :)
But I'm having a blast doing it. And I have so much fun with the predator and SSE. And of the 18 chapters you have left to read, many are about 19k long. so take heart, you have lots of reading in front of you - hopefully entertaining reading.
:)
Starched Shirt Edward is saying a prayer for you.
Jugurtha is leering at you.
Best,
Books
Reviewer: killeen (Signed) · Date: November 03, 2009 01:49 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-Four - My Name is Edward Cullen, and I Have a Heart Problem
Are you sure he has to leave? REALLY sure? :)
this was a nicely crafted chapter. great job as always. :)
Author's Response: Hi there Killeen!
I have established in the front arc in the shameless hussy chapters in particular that the cullens just vanished and left Bella. so yeah, he has to leave her. It will only last one chapter. Promise. And he won't be leaving her for any of the canon reasons. And he won't lie to her, either. :) to me, it's necessary to go there in order to be the straw that brings the delusional walls falling down.
Books
Submit a Review
|
© 2008, 2009 Twilighted Enterprises, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws. Privacy Policy | Terms of Service
All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.
|
|