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Reviewer: Cavriola (Signed) · Date: February 05, 2010 08:55 AM · On: Chapter 8 - Heart of Darkness - Part Sixteen - Can't a Century Old Vampire be a Moral Degenerate in Peace?

Hey.

So funny. Roosewelt with a big stick, speaking softly. Also, the <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Calibri; mso-font-alt:"Century Gothic"; mso-font-charset:186; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1073750139 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0cm; margin-right:0cm; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> "I wouldn't be able to play the piano for a few hours" line: it's sort of the vampire version of "I'll never be able to play the piano again", isn't it? Liam's attempt at a limerick and the "maliciosly yours" was hilarious. "We are shady": good point. And oh, the puzzling rituals of "dates" and "verbal conversation". Loved that one.

Majorly sweet: Shakespearean sonnets and "the pristine centre of my sordid universe". Made me go awww.

The fake toothbrushing was interesting.

It was good to plant flowers and read prayers over the graves of Liam and Genevieve after disturbing their eternal rest.

<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Calibri; mso-font-alt:"Century Gothic"; mso-font-charset:186; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1073750139 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0cm; margin-right:0cm; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> "And he had to be joking about God caring. I couldn't even begin to contemplate that notion." Now, that's an interesting insight into Edward's poor twisted mind.

By the way, I read parts of the introductory author's note even though I wasn't supposed to, and fell in love with the sentence " <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Calibri; mso-font-alt:"Century Gothic"; mso-font-charset:186; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1073750139 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0cm; margin-right:0cm; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> For research purposes only, Edward ran over 100 miles away to another national park and hiding in the bushes conducted an experiment on venom leakage that resulted another earthquake, the destruction of the trees and vegetation in his path, the traumatization of birds and raccoons, and fears he could never please his human as a man." I think it sums up the process perfectly. Hah.

 

Hoping the fonts are not all messed up,

Cavriola. :)



Author's Response:

Hi there Cavriola!

For some odd reason, this site gets all kinds of cranky if you cut and paste directly into the browser. If you use word, there a little icon at the bottom of the screen that if you hit (The W one) and highlight what you want to paste, hit copy, and then control V, the whole thing will paste into the post without all the wonky font language. I have, alas, learned this the hard way. And you can read any author's note you want. :)

Yes, Main Edward has coped in part with his being a vampire by deciding that God has forgotten him. If not HE should. Edward does not think he can ever be forgiving for what he has done. 

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Cavriola (Signed) · Date: February 05, 2010 08:34 AM · On: Chapter 8 - Heart of Darkness - Part Fifteen - Butterflies and Homecomings

<!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:EN-US;} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;}HHi!

 

I utterly lurved this chapter when I read it, which was sometime before Christmas. Because of the abscence of an internet connection at home and my immense procrastination skills, I review only now that I've forgotten most of what I read. Luckily, I found some sort of notes I'd made while reading. So hopefully you'll know what I refer to even if I don't anymore. There goes.

 

Interesting conversation between Edward and Bella there. Bella thinks Edward is comforting her, which he is, while simultaneously interrogating her about her dreams with the aid of the whole family. Weirdly many-layered. The vampire scents (of the red-eyed people) do sound very vampirey.

If Jugurtha represents the id, Edward has a very intelligent id, doesn’t he? I suppose a vampire’s instincts would be finely tuned.

 

I very much liked Edward’s „practice with the teeming masses”. It’s scarily close to how I perceive communication. It’s the same with the “meaning to talk”, I do it all the time.

 

The artificial insemination idea = Billy totally lives up to his creep status.

As usually, you are so funny in a completely good way. Loved Rosalie’s „empathize with her you moron” line. „Hot stuff” makes me laugh every time. The scheduling of the death of Billy Black, just lovely. I liked Starched Shirt Edward as a crucifix in a suit, and the image of Emmett carrying Bella from class (it was the Irish tune that did it for me). Oh, and “collecting things in anticipation of her canonization”, what a good idea.

By the way, I plan to give up procrastination for Lent, to see if it can be done, so you *will* hear from me more often in the future. Otherwise I'll show myself.

 

Best wishes to you and the Edwards,

Cavriola



Author's Response:

Well hello there Caviriola!

It totally made my month to hear from you! I'm so glad to hear you are well! And thank you so much for the review! You are hitting the part of the story that to me is my favorite, so I'm all kinds of excited to hear your thoughts. It was important to me to "show" the way that the mind works of someone who is very shy - which is why I had so much fun with Edward. At the same time, I wanted to "show" how his family has infantized him - with Edward's complete blessing because that way he can continue to pretend to be the perfect immortal child. I wanted to "show" how the Cullens, for the best of motivations - in their own way, have helped Edward construct and maintain this delusion that he lives in by treating him like a 17-year-old, rather than a 104 year old. 

And you are right - I have taken liberties with Jugurtha in order to play of the irony by making him a rather disciplined id. And yeah, Billy in this story is a monster. I'm glad you enjoyed Rosalie - she's so much fun to write. And I had to have Emmett be the one to pick her up because everyone would expect Edward to do it. And I liked showing how Edward was trapped by the unfairness of life having to take multiple tests otherwise he would have been there for Bella. 

I am all with you on the Lent program and will be keeping you in my prayers. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: emmettballeermine4evr (Signed) · Date: February 04, 2010 11:20 PM · On: Chapter 2: The Bachelor Party: Survival of the B!tchfest - Part Two

This is by far my favorite Tanya. She's extremely vain and so easily misreads edwards signals. I couldn't stop laughing throughout the entire chapter. I read your synopsis and I'm very excited about when it gets more serious. Don't get me wrong, I love humorous stories, it's just the way you explained how the story is going to go. I can't wait! :)



Author's Response:

Thanks so much emmettballeermine4evr!

I have really had a great time with Tanya in this story. She'll not be around much at the beginning of the backstory but when she does appear - well, don't be drinking anything while reading. You have been warned. :) In my mind, Tanya is the most beautiful woman in all of history. And she's been around long enough to know. Her sisters aren't bad, either. In my mind, Tanya does not love Edward in a romantic sense - nor has she ever. She simply cannot get over that she's been rejected. Cause that has never, ever happened with Tanya. 

She was content to write him off as warped all those years. But now that she sees he is interested in this dull human girl? Tanya is worried about her status in the immortal community. Tanya should be. 

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! And I went in and fixed that chapter. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: emmettballeermine4evr (Signed) · Date: February 04, 2010 09:54 PM · On: Chapter 1 - Tanya and the Bachelor Party Bet

This is one of the funniest chapters of any fic i've ever read. Hands down. The only thing I would say though is that there were a few grammar mistakes, but, honestly, when does any piece of writing not have a few of those? The only reason I noticed is because I edit papers for my friends because it's hard to critique your own work. I'm pry one of the only people who cared or even noticed, so it pry doesn't even matter, right? I can't wait to read the next chapter in a moment, I just wanted to spread my love before I did. :) I love this story!



Author's Response:

Hi there emmettballeermine4evr!

Thanks so much for the feedback! And I totally agree with you on the grammar mistakes. I keep going back in and it's like mushrooms that I keep finding. Thanks for the heads up, I'll edit it again. :) And you are right it is hard to critique your own work. I kind of cringe when I re-read these chapters because they were my first foray into writing fiction. And all I see is their shortcomings. There is a lot of comedy in this story. I'm delighted you are enjoying my sick sense of humor. Most of it can be found in the Heart of Darkness arc. 

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Robs_Muse (Signed) · Date: February 04, 2010 07:33 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War

Since we are being a little religious here...Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound! I was gonna modify it but it seemed a lil blasphemous to do so.

Anyway, i am sick as well so thank you for the much needed diversion. Wonderfully written as always. Was sad to see Paula die but i know you have other things in store. Keep writing and I'll keep devouring these delicious lil chappies!

Love ya!
Heather, aka Robs_muse
And thank you for your muse shout outs! They mean so much to me!

Author's Response:

Hi there Heather!

I'm sorry to hear you aren't feeling well! I hope that you get better soon. :) And I don't think altering the words of Amazing Grace is blasphemous - I saw a documentary on the song as being one of the most modified hymns in history in terms of the way that it is sung - like ages ago. 

Thank you for reviewing - your feedback means the world to me as well. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: blue2185 (Signed) · Date: February 04, 2010 03:38 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War

Poor Paula!! Damn Edward for leaving!!! I cant wait to read what happens next! Arria seems to be not too bright. It almost seems as if she didnt want Bella around...



Author's Response:

Hi there blue2185!

I'm working on the next section now. Promise. I think with Arria you have to realize that we are using a different lens to view her. She does not have much to do with modernity - or humans - so why would she know how to treat Bella? She never bothered to try. Which is her bad. But she had her reasons. :) 

Thanks so much for reviewing. :)

Books

Reviewer: Cullen Concession (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2010 08:26 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War

I love your links at the end of each chapter.  This was great informational chapter.  I wonder how Edward processes thisn information.



Author's Response:

Hi there Cullen Concession!

Thanks so much! I have a lot of fun finding the pictures. And I'm a freak about citing. I figured I could do it and "show" people the inspiration behind the story and maybe they'd have fun, too. I've had people who really liked the stuff like the manta ray info. So I keep posting it. 

In terms of information, I'm not sure what you mean - do you mean how does he handle all the family dynamics? How his world has changed? He's to me like the person who has been punched really hard right after the punch. You know you got hit. You even know who did it. You might even see the next hit coming, but after the first strike you know before the real pain sets in? You're numb. That's Edward. To me him seeing Bella die broke him. Especially since he had all those human emotions and realized how much he loved her. His denial couldn't keep her alive and he (this time) could not run fast enough. So he's completely helpless as he physically experiences her drowning. But the fact he could only imagine what she went through is going to haunt him. Bella's not a talker, you see. So Edward is processing all of this information in bits and pieces. He knows he's in trouble. He definitely sees the hordes of barbarians coming trying to "take" his mate from him. And he's smart enough to want Bella silent until he can talk to her. So on one hand, he's still the calculating weasel he's always been out of self-preservation and self-loathing. On the other hand, you have this new part of him that really is putting Bella's needs first. Sorta. It's new for him to think that way. So he'll admit a bit of knowledge in order to prove Arria wrong, knowledge that could get him in trouble or have his family dismiss him as mad. He does so - actually opening his mouth - for her. 

So I suppose to make a short story long, Edward kind of sees that he's in trouble. He's already taking steps to try and keep his image intact with the family. He's already got backup plans in case he gets outed by Arria for dumping Bella in the way he did. At the same time, he's simply horrified at Bella's condition and raging at the universe that he can't run a bazillion tests on her right now. It's a sign that he's not quite normal that he's not going absolutely ape-shit over the sight of her. Instead he's having things hit him in waves. Does that make sense?

 

Books

Reviewer: Cullen Concession (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2010 07:39 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty - The Lies That Bind

Wow! Everyone has it out for Edward.  I kinda feel bad for him.  I trust you though because I remember the beginning.

I like how you reminded us that Jugurtha may be hot and sexy as hell, but he really is a shrewd calculator and a predator.

Did I detect some growth of SSE?  Loved it!

Sorry for the delay in reading. 



Author's Response:

Hi there Cullen Concession!

Thanks so much for your review! And hon, I don't care when you read it so long as you do. :) Please don't feel the need to apologize. I'm just happy that someone is reading my writing, and enjoying it. :) I would say everyone "kinda" has it out for Edward. His family is worried and suspicious. He clearly is not himself and he's been behaving absolutely outrageously which in their minds means that something horrible happened - which it did. And because he's a mind reader, they are having to be very very careful with him to not spook him. Which means they are trying their best not to think about the past few months in Alaska, or how irritated they were that the few times they did get a call through, he did not answer. See Bella and him together has them absolutely on red alert status. Arria is definitely livid because she knows how he talked to Bella. It's not in her interests at present to out him, but don't think she's not stroking that knife and thinking of putting it to good use. Marcus does not have it out for Edward - nor the Gorgon - but they are most definitely concerned about his relationship in regards to Bella. That impacts them directly. And every other immortal who doesn't have a pulse is most definitely interested in Bella - which by extension means that basically the majority of the immortal world wants a shot at Edward. So it really does suck to be him right now. And I haven't even mentioned that the impact of his actions is starting to percolate into that pickled brain. 

Jugurtha is a parody of the id, so to me it makes perfect sense for him to everyonce in a while remind us that he's all about making sure that Edward gets what he wants. And you most definitely saw a bit of growth with SSE. 

:)

Best,

Books

Jugurtha is blowing a kiss to you. And he just winked.

Reviewer: nanny t (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2010 12:54 AM · On: Chapter 5: Indecent Exposure at the Thriftway on Aisle Three: Shameless Hussy Part One

Love the timing of the stripper pole & Charlie!



Author's Response:

vjgm suggested that, I think. :) I had so much fun with Charlie's thoughts in that section. :)

Thanks so much, nanny t, for the review. :)

 

Books

Reviewer: nanny t (Signed) · Date: February 01, 2010 09:46 PM · On: Chapter 1 - Tanya and the Bachelor Party Bet

I am sooooo in love with your story! I love that everyone is still the same but in different situations. Can't wait to see what happens next, oh by the way you are sooo AWESOME!



Author's Response:

Hi there nanny t!

Thanks so much! I am having a blast with it. I do want to warn you that the backstory will start soon, and it's a little gloomy in the first chapter of it, but Edward soon becomes snarky and just downright wrong in his behavior. Once the backstory is done, this front section should take on an entirely new meaning. And uh, I have a really sick sense of humor. Just so you know. :)

 

Thanks for reviewing. Tanya is waving at you. Blowing (just) kisses, too.

Books

Reviewer: pomme_de_terre (Signed) · Date: February 01, 2010 06:47 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War

Another wonderful chapter. Wow, Paula is dead! What a shame - I kind of liked her. Edward seems to be becoming more lucid and I am not sure he will much like the revelations if what went on in his mental absence. Lovely job!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much pomme_de_terre!

Edward is indeed becoming more lucid. I didn't want him to all of a sudden be perfectly "normal" so it's coming back to him - but I'm not going to drag it out over 10 chapters either. I think he's been traumatized enough, don't you. :) LOL

I thought about the idea of forgiveness and reconciliation and to me, Edward has to "see" the long term effects of what he has done in order to fully understand. I did not want to write him moping for a chapter and then forgetting. I also didn't want to write endless moping. So I am aiming to try to have things sink in bit by bit. And it's like a car crash that he cannot look away from - except it's his own life.

:)

Thanks so much for the support. :)

Books

Reviewer: elphabacy35 (Signed) · Date: February 01, 2010 01:22 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War

I finally got a chnace to sit down and read this update! I just want to say, that I love how you supply all of the photos and links that go with your chapters. It certainly helps to visualize the locations, and such. But it also reminds me again, of how much time and care you take with this story. I, for one, really appreciate it. And I'm sure I'm not the only one:)

Ok, fave line this chapter : "And what the heck are you talking about her jumping?" Emmett barked. "Bella doesn't jump. She could break her neck using a step-stool." I love your Emmett, I just really do.

I'm excited for what is to come...Douglas? Soon? Love him too.

Take care Books

--Stacy



Author's Response:

Hi there Stacy!

SSE is ecstatic to hear from you. Emmett, too, but don't tell Rose, she would not understand. I have had so much fun with the photos and songs that I'm glad to hear that you enjoy them. For me, it's part of the research that I do to try and write a scene. I'll find a picture that speaks to me and try to describe it or work it into the story. Other times I just find a pretty photo that is representative of the theme I am trying to convey. Most of the landscape ones are from the Forks area, and the ones I've been using lately are indeed from Europe. Keeping in mind that I do change my mind from time to time, Douglas is not slated to appear in the next chapter BUT the one after that. And you'll meet his wife, too.

 

Thanks so much for the review and making me smile. You made my day. :)

Best,

Books

 

Emmett is winking at you.

Douglas

Reviewer: notmyself (Signed) · Date: February 01, 2010 01:12 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War

That is the cutest, furriest squirrel picture I have ever seen. Also, I love you. A lot. I want to have your babies and hold hands and live inside your head sometimes. I imagine it sounds like chaos and beautiful music and smells like apples and pine and crazy.

 

~Mia

 

 



Author's Response:

Hi there Mia!

Thanks so much for the review hon! I have been trolling the internet looking for squrrel pictures that meet my criteria for cute-ness. I'm delighted that you enjoyed it. :) And you made me laugh with your review. My mind is a sick and twisted place that runs 90 mph when I'm writing this story. I'm glad you are enjoying it. :)

Douglas is winking at you.

:)

Books

 

douglas and tree

Reviewer: sexysadie13 (Signed) · Date: February 01, 2010 12:15 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War

I must say, I've truly missed Grace.  It's nice to see her again - please pass on my regards.  Also, I'm assuming that it was Victoria or someone with her that "killed" Paula, if she is actually dead...hm. That would be interesting.  And Paula might fake that just to get away from stupid Charlie and retarded Jake. Then again, I know she wouldn't purposefully abandon Seth.  Even though he's in good hands.  I hope that Bella can come out of this stupor pretty soon - it's time she really digs into Edward....maybe even rip off an arm? It seems to me that Arria might get grounded for her actions - or lack of forethought while she was in Forks.  Hmmm....would that be the same punishment as for us lowly mortals, or would Marcus have to put her into some kind of coma? I digress.  But she could certainly be put over someone's knee....ew. Not like that. Sicko. Jugurtha has taken residence in my mind - and he whispers nasty things in my ear.  I kinda like it.  Ok, I'm lying.  I love it. And, by the way, Douglas has been visiting me here - in the tree in front of my house.  He decided the South was much better for this time of year, but he'll be back in Washington soon - he hid Edward's nuts in a safe place - no worries.  Hopefully, Marcus can make sure his daughter learns a few things about strategy once she makes up for her mistakes, and Jake might learn a thing or two about respecting the opposite species - vamps, not tramps.  I mean, girls.  Except Tanya, she is a VampTramp.  No respect - I mean disrespect, T.  I, of course and as usual, loved this chapter.  Can't wait to read the next one, and I'm sorry you've been sick.  I hope that you're doing much better now.  It made my day to see your updated chapter.  Thank you for continuing this story.  I love it. It keeps me TOTALLY entertained.  So....exactly how did that cave become available again? Did Grace really remove the rocks from the front? It's cool if she did...I'm just wondering the purpose - if there was any, other than protecting Bella for the time being.  And, if at all possible, can Edward get his orgasm-induced-kisses back just once? Maybe just to bring Bella out of the catatonia? That's a good way to come back to it all - or to come at all I guess.  Haha. Again, I love the story, loved this chapter, and I am anxiously awaiting the next installment of "As the Human Turns"!

Um, quick question - how did Bella get all these powers? Was it just the jewelry, or did Arria do something to her?



Author's Response:

Hi there SexySadie13!

Grace is flapping a wing at you delighted that you missed her. She thinks that Douglas and Jugurtha get way too much attention. Although she has a crush on SSE. You can assume that Paula most definitely was attacked by hostile immortals. And for the record, she loves Charlie even though she understands his limitations. She loves him in spite of them. She also has remained in Forks all these years not only to watch over Seth, but to watch over Jacob. There's no way in hell she would run and leave Charlie, Seth, and Jacob behind. Bella will be in this state for 24 hours. If I keep the chapters divided the way I intend, then she won't wake up in the next one, but the one after. She will wake up when they get to Forks. As for her digging into Edward, put yourself in CC's shoes. This is the girl who never told a soul about the vampires that she learned about in the book. She kept her promise. This is the girl who hung around said vampires for months and never indicated she knew - because she didn't want them to feel uncomfortable and put them in a bad position if she had not earned their trust. This is the girl who fell head over heels for Edward like a freight train and got her heard crunched and his family took off and did not come back. So if you were Bella, after experiencing what you saw her going through, would you trust the Cullens? Would you even give a damn that they were there? I don't see Bella as being hostile. But I also don't think she'll trust a word out of anyone's mouth. Everyone she has ever loved in her life has lied to her from her point of view.

Douglas is waving at you. He'd like you to meet his mate Henrietta. And he agrees with you that he still had Edward's nuts. He has had to hide them from his wife.

You are very astute about Arria. Look at life from her perspective. She has spent that past 1,000 years believing that she is Marcus' only heir, and that he's drooling on a throne in Volturi. Now she suddenly meets her mother and her brother AND her father. She was raised by soldiers to be ruthless - all the while knowing that they wished she were a man instead. So Arria is going to have a hard time adjusting to her new world. And I had to come up with a plausible reason why Arria would not be there in the first place to protect Bella, you'll learn more about it in the next chapter. I didn't want her to look stupid, but I did want to show she has some things to learn. And Arria just between you and me, is beside herself she's so angry at present. She's been trying to follow her family's rules with Bella and is getting heat for it.

You can say anything you want about any of the characters in CC. I won't be offended. I like calling Tanya the Trampire's Trampire. There's not much to the cave story. Jake got put down in front of the cave and he and Grace moved it aside. She rolled it back over to hide them and left to go back and kill more vampires. She also shielded the cave before she left, not that Jake knew. And if you go back to the scene where Paula was invested as a shaman, you'll see that she brought a paper bag with her and wouldn't let the cullens touch it. The spirits told her in a dream to bring a few things. Paula thought they were meant for Hezekiah in the afterlife. A sweater to keep him warm, a blanket, and lo and behold, Jake is using them instead for Bella. Who'd thunk?

Thanks for the well wishes. I feel better. I just have a virus that like an ex-boyfriend is not taking a hint and leaving. :)

I like the irony of Edward trying to convince Bella that he loves her and NOT being able to show it that way. And he's too embarassed to tell her, "Oh, I used to have that power but don't anymore - I have to use my hands now like real men, so says Sitting Bull." So he's just dying here. He enjoyed the satisfaction of seeing her so well-pleasured. It did all kinds of things for his virgin ego, in particular if you read the last part of Hitchcock, he sincerely wondered after viewing the destruction he had caused if he would ever be able to pleasure his human bride. The kiss gave him hope. And now he doesn't have the kiss. Now he has to use words. And his hands. And with all due respect, put yourself in Bella's place. The last time she saw Edward, he said horrible things to her, broke her heart, and told her that it was all about her scent - and that he had intended on killing her the day of those kisses. If I were in her shoes, after seeing all those people die, if I woke up having an orgasm with Edward's lips touching mine, I'd puke. And this is just me, but the fact that she would feel pleasure would make it even worse. That's my take on it, and you are free to disagree. :)

Bella got the powers from the bracelet. No one knew that Vivinna's family priest (pagan, mind you) had "blessed" it with a gift.

Arria did do something to her, but only to try to repair her shields. Hope that all made sense. I can't always answer questions, but I will the ones that I can. If you have any others please feel free to PM me.

Best,

Books

 

Douglas and wife

Reviewer: Kaydence (Signed) · Date: February 01, 2010 11:01 AM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War

Gosh, I liked so many things about this chapter. First, through the flashbacks, I think you've emphasized what a great character your Bella is. You took some of her greatest characteristics from canon Bella and amped her into a powerhouse! She's still self-sacrificing, reserved, stubborn and typically thinks the worst. You've made her strong and powerful on top of it.

Edward seems to be vowing to do right by her--very nice. :-)

Also, for the record, Arria deserves a strong talking to by dear old I could kick everyone's ass because I'm full of unparalleled awesomeness and mind fuckery tricks, at best.

Author's Response:

Hi there Kaydence!

Thanks so much for the review! I'm giddy after reading what you had to say about Bella. I know people at first were like - when is she going to wake up - at the first part of the HOD which is why I was all kinds of excited for How Bout Dem Apples so they could see what a treasure she is. I've changed her from canon though at least in the initial way I portrayed her. She did not think the worst but she did accept it when she encountered it. She did not want to think that Billy murdered her Grandparents, but she was told he would....and then he acted all creepy with her.....so she accepted it. She said earlier to Edward that she did not blame her father for loving Jake more than he loved her because he has always wanted a son, and he spends more time with Jake than he did her growing up so that it was just natural. And she meant it. So to me, I wanted to raise the question is it terrible for her to be so accepting of an emotionally distant father? Does it make her a realist? Or an idealist?

Edward most definitely is vowing to do right by her. He's still stunned about that whole love dealio. He hasn't had time for that to sink in. And right now he's worried for her and scared that she'll never wake up. And he's showing that streak of unrealistic hopes in thinking about her being a saint and forgiving him because she speaks to Lauren. Right?

You will squee in the next chapter over Arria. That's all I'm sayin'. And the one after that. :) *evil grin*

Best,

Books

Reviewer: summerc79 (Signed) · Date: February 01, 2010 03:30 AM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War

Ave Books!

Great to see a new update up so soon after the last one :D Kudos!! First of, can I say that if my last review made your night, your reply made my day. Oh, by the way, what you said about "Devotion is Beautiful"? That is exactly the point I wanted to make by mentioning it. And I totally agree with you that as things stand at present, our favourite couple cant possibly walk off into the sunset holding hands. It's just my inner HEA cheerleader that was coming to play LOL not to mention the love of a happy CCE ;)

OK, so ch. 52...

Women and mothers can be so mean... There was CCE chance to fully assess Bella's condition (you know, him being a doctor. Twice. Professional...) and he got denied... At least his "exposed" torment was short - except for the lingering echo of the minds around him that is.

You have to admire his dedication though, when it comes to his favoured subject of studies - not to mention his furthering of basic physiotherapy. IS he fully booked for weeks to come? I could use a little help to release the tension in my shoulders too.

Arria, the way she goes on you'd think she was born out of Jupiter's thigh. She needs Daddy M (not Boney, huh, though maybe he can turn out to be daddy Cool - somehow...) to steer her back on the right path. Such impatience for someone who has all the time in the world. Not to mention her lack of foresight. Is she a firm believer in wishful thinking?? Liam should have given her a crash course on human sensitivity at some point or other. Then again they may well have been occupied elsewhere, with a different kind of human sensitivity studying... Poor Bella!

Also, DONT aggravate Mary Alice (tiny but sturdly!). Her and Jasper are the calm before the storm. Dont get them upset - where have I heard that before? Oh, and I like Monsieur Emmet. Does he blow-dry as well??

Maybe it is time to hand CCE some Xanax. Or run him a bath with Ylang-Ylang and lavender oils, you know, just to relax him some. He cant very well give himself a massage can he? He's good, but not that good surely. I volonteer to stand by and hand him a towel at the appropriate time though. We all got to do what we can to help, right? Every little bit counts, and if I need to sacrifice myself, then so be it.

Arria doesnt back down easy does she? Though with her lineage I guess that makes sense. That dog love its bone lolIt's either her way or, well, no way at all. I would love to see her SSE impersonation though. Maybe we should start collecting funds for her own customized prayer bench? She'll have you for it, the things she let Bella see... Tsk, tsk, tsk...

Old friends have made a come back lately. Good to hear of Grace again. Not so happy about Jacob's reappearance though... Oh well, it's got to give a little bit I guess. And he did contribute to saving Bella after the cliff jumping episode so he cant be all THAT bad. Now I know that CCE has Quileute Powers and that those seem to have a fetish for all things green, but he should try to keep the green-eyed monster at least at arms'length... Hang on... Human Edward had green eyes... Maybe there's a link there somewhere...

CCE is definitely waking up from his I-know-best state. Ouch! Feathery clouds are not really softening the blow right now though. He's got his work cut out. Good news for us ;)

Happy writing, Books! Oh, and hows the throat?



Author's Response:

Hi there summerc79!

:) I'm still mulling over the devotion is beautiful line. It's gorgeous. Worthy, perhaps of a chapter title. :) which if I do, you totally get credit for.  Edward in my mind, literally experienced dying with Bella but what made it terrifying to him is that he experienced it physically. He did not know what was going on in her mind - that's left up to his imagination. And  Edward has a fertile imagination. So when he next sees Bella and realizes that she is indeed alive, he's coming out of his delusion by nothing all the things that seem off. Seeing her back made him relive the vision - the worst moment of his life - again in front of everyone. And to me, it's a sign of his control coming back that even though he lost it for a second, he was able to block Jasper and the rest of the room from feeling what he was feeling when he was in such agony. Jasper was too busy puking and being horrified to notice.

I'm laughing over your booking comment. His hands, alas are for Bella alone. Not that she wants anything to do with them at present. And I'm loving the comparison to Athena - i think that's going in a snarky summary. :) I needed to come up with a plot reason for why Arria - who had seemed to capable in the past could screw up so badly. And you'll learn about it in the next chapter. I wanted her to look bad, but not like a complete moron. But you are totally right on the sensitivity part. She was raised by male soldiers to act like a man - all the while knowing that her female status made her "deficient" in their eyes. She was all they had, the last resort. And now all of a sudden she finds out that her mother is alive, and she has brothers? Arria's world has also tilted. I liked the idea of Emmett sitting down in front of all these manly men and combing the human's hair. He likes combing Rosalie's. And he feels very parental of Bella although he won't call her his daughter for fear of offending Carlisle.

I'm afraid the only thing that will help CCE at present is the recovery of his dear little one, or the slow death of any and all who have harmed her. Arria is a tough negotiator. And she also does not show her emotions easily. She hides them well. You could say she has a very well-crafted poker face. But I wanted to explore the idea of her acting like a parent from her times and THAT being unsatisfactory to the Cullens. For the record, Carlisle and Esme have made many mistakes with Edward. They infantized him all these years, treating him like he really was 17, not a mature adult.

I wanted to show Jake being a hero, but also being imperfect. He saves or helps save Bella's life, and he also risks his neck to do so. He does not do so for Bella, though. He does so because he loves Charlie and looks to him as a father substitute and knows if anything happens to Bella esp anything he could have prevented, it'll kill Charlie.

I am feeling better, thanks for asking. :) And don't count out the green eyed monster yet. CCBella is the hottest human of them all. Vampires are going to be stampeding for her attention. And CC Edward can't pee on her to mark his territory. Alas.

:)

*evil grin*

thanks so much for your thoughtful review and making me laugh. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: MsLessa (Signed) · Date: February 01, 2010 02:33 AM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War

*blinks* somehow I missed the last chapter being updated as well so today I felt like I got a two-fer. 

Wow.. there is just so much to take in on what's happening.  It really feels like I need to block off a week and just reread this all from the beginning because there is so much here that is making past things becoming clearer.  Arria is one seriously sucky mommy.  Doesn't matter which set of parents Bella's got they are all fucked in the head.

On a smaller yet happy side note... Carmina Burana o fortuna  totally got to see this performed live.  My mommy took me to see TSO as a Xmas/bday present. BEST LIVE SHOW IN THE WORLD totally worth the hundred bucks a ticket for 3 hours of music.



Author's Response:

Hi there MsLessa!

I've seen Carmina Burana before and loved it. Esp. the story behind it. So of course I had to use it in this chapter. And yeah, Arria will never get the mother of the year award so it begs the question if she did the right thing in leaving Bella with the Swans. Somehow I think Bella was better off without her. Thanks so much for making me smile.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: dh_director (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 09:30 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War

I am sure you know where you are going with this story, but there are so many little details and unnecessary references in this chapter that nothing really happens. A story needs action to carry it through. I feel like the plot is starting to stagnate a little.



Author's Response:

Hi there dh_director,

Thanks so much for your feedback. This is my first story so it has been a learning experience and I am sure that I don't always get things right. What I tired to do in this section is take a large chapter and divide it into several sections because of the complexity of the plot. I also had Mizra make up a family tree which she spent hours doing in order to help the audience keep track of the plot.

http://www.mizradesign.com/manips/CC/familyhistories.html

I can see how you might construe the plot is slowing down at this point. I had to get more subplots off the page and did not want to end with a cliffhanger. I do think that you and I have a different notion fo the conceptualization of "action" in a story and I'd appreciate it if you could PM me and explain your view on that concept in a story. Thanks so much for your feedback.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: JaJiTaXx (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 09:06 PM · On: Prologue: Bella, Sex, and Privacy

mmm.... i see your point with Arria and Bella....

*pouts*  but i wanna know.... 

hahha

i'm gonna sleep now so Buenas Noches!!



Author's Response:

I understand your frustration. Imagine the Cullens. They want to know, too. And they are going to have a hard time learning anything that is helpful. :)

Get some rest!

Books

Reviewer: Mav (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 08:36 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War

Adore it!  I'm so glad Edward is slowly removing his head from his ass and the baddies are getting the come-uppance they deserve! Sounds like Arria might be grounded for a century or two for flunking Leadership 101.  Looking forward to Edward groveling once Bella comes to - it's going to take some pretty hard-core sucking up, though!



Author's Response:

HI there Mav!

Thanks so much! I don't know about you, but I had to think about times in my life that I'm not so proud of - times when I have hurt someone's feelings. Sometimes it takes a while for the impact of the actions to click. So I did not want Edward to understand all at once what a jerk he had been. I want it to come to him in bits and pieces here and there and sink in over time. That's why in the front arc of the story he keeps saying what an angel Bella is for taking him back after all he put her through.

Yeah, Arria made a huge mistake in trusting Bella's safety the way she did, and she's mad as a wet hen about it. I had to give a plausible explanation for why Bella would go through such a bad time considering that Arria's coven is so large. I also wanted to be able to point fingers at someone else aside from Edward as to why Bella is in such bad shape. He did take steps to make sure she would be safe. He left 200 pages of instructions with the Fake Canadians. He counted on the tribe to help, too. And everyone failed Bella for, at least to me, good reasons.

And put yourself in Bella's shoes right now. Would you believe a word that came out of his mouth or that of the Cullens'? I wouldn't. Sucking up would only drive me further away. He's totally screwed. :) evil grin.

Thanks so much for your review and support of this story. You made the cold author's heart in me smile thinking of Edward's plight.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: JaJiTaXx (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 06:27 PM · On: Prologue: Bella, Sex, and Privacy

my headache is definetely worse.... and between twitter, watching the grammys and reading... i'm making it worse...  ¬¬!!

that Arria.... i don't know if i should laugh, be angry or just hit her for her mother skills... she's a nut job... rivaling Edward... (douglas has his nuts... so i'll just say el está loco)....

i just wanna know what the hell happened to her... and for her to wake up soon... i'm not a patience person... i hope we'll know soon!!.... 

the thing u said on twitter... almost brought me to tears... that was so sweet... thanks!! :P

muchos saludos

JaJy!!



Author's Response:

Hi there JaJy!!

I'm sorry to hear about your headache. I hope you feel better soon. I don't get them often but when I do, I am completely useless. Arria to me is a complicated figure. She is not a traditional kind of mother. She did not have a conventional upbringing even by the norms of her time. After the ambush, her little branch of the coven fled as far away as they could and stumbled upon the algae so stayed put in Washington state for hundreds of years. She was raised by soldiers to believe that she was Marcus' only living heir. Now all of a sudden she's not. Edward doing the hunger strike when he did with the other covens that they had treaties with really caused her to have to overextend her forces. So she learned the hard way and made mistakes. I wanted people to see that she most certainly is not perfect, and that just because Bella finds out she's not biologically related to Renee does not make her life any better.

With Bella I want you to keep something in mind. Think of the way that I have written her character. She is the one who sat around silently for months playing along with Edward and the Cullens' game of pretending to be human and never gave them a sign that she really knew. She completely caught them off guard. She does not trust easily at all. And she also found out during that time period that Charlie and Renee had lied to her about her brain injury all of her life "for her own good." I hope by seeing the dialogues (mental ones) that Edward has overheard from Leah you also see that she never told Leah anything about Edward. At all. Or Seth. Or Sue. Or Harry. Or Charlie. So why then, with something like Edward and his family (which is big, mind you) if she kept her mouth shut because she kept her word that she would - would she start talking now - now when she has absolutely no reason to trust Edward and the Cullens? Or Arria. She will wake up soon, but don't expect her to be forthcoming with information. Hope that made sense. :)

Books

Reviewer: fanficreader83 (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 06:01 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War

So we definitely learned more about Bella during Edward's time away... she developed some powers and had many tragic things going on around her and to her... I am very curious about the flashback in which she says that she is stronger than she appears... I also think it was quite appropriate for Edward to claim that same thing at the end.  There is so much still to learn about these two!

I am curious if we will learn more about Paula and also about you mentioning the first part of this story... do we get any hints or should I go and revisit it to see if I can make sense of things... I must be honest though that I love this story but am always surprised... I like to think that I can figure things out while I am reading but I am always finding myself surprised, pleasantly so as I am so enthralled with this story!



Author's Response:

Hi there fanficreader83!

Thanks so much for your feedback. And what you had to say about the flashback made my night. To me, I thought it would be interesting in this story to raise the issue of strength. Who is stronger? Edward or Bella? Because to me both are strong and weak in different ways. Edward has endured emotional hell - self inflicted - but emotional hell for seven decades without cracking. It raises the issue of whether that is strength or a sign of his mental illness. Bella for her part has endured all sorts of things that would send the average human screaming for a bottle of Xanax. And yet she's still kicking. After everything she had been through, for her to act the way she did in the throne room to save the children - to me that showed strength. How she treated her father at the end of this chapter - that took courage. So I wanted to show how both are frail, yet strong.

You will not get any hints about Paula from the first part of the story. Not any you could discern at this point so it wouldn't be fair for me to send you back to read for it. I'll tell you that much. You also will learn more about that situation yes. Promise.

And thanks so much for your kind words on the plot. I try very hard to make it unpredictable without giving the audience the sensation that the twists don't make any sense. I'm still new to this whole writing dealio so I've been learning as I progress. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: JaJiTaXx (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 05:24 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War

hi there books!.... i must really love this story, because i've had a MASSIVE headache all day and i read it anyway... 

Bella teleported... mmm... WOW!!!.... that was unexpected to say the least.... 

we can finally know what the hell happened with Bella all those months... mmm... so, she really tried to kill herself, even if it was as a mean to escape, or save everyone... idk.... 

Paula is dead... mmm... 

and why in the hell Jacob is a wolf?.... 

saludos

JaJiTaXx



Author's Response:

Hi there JaJiTaXx!

I am so sorry to hear about your poor head. I hope that you feel better soon. I can't even think when I had a headache, so I admire your determination and strength. :)

I did set the stage for teleportation throughout the story with the Fake Canadians appearing and disappearing in How Bout Dem Apples - and Edward was teleported by the Gorgon not once, but twice. So I figured it could happen to Bella. For the record, she could not do that when Edward was in town. And we finally have some glimpses into what happened to Bella. The challenge for the Cullens will be finding out the truth. Arria is in a bad spot because if she tells everything she knows then a) she makes herself look bad because she was supposed to be guarding Bella - and failed, and more importantly; b) Arria does not think it really is the Cullens' business what happened to Bella. Edward dumped her. They left. End of story as far as she is concerned. She will not blocked Edward and Bella being together, but she's not going to make it easy on Edward. She also because she does not have an understanding of mental health, really does not see the importance of why anyone should know what happened to Bella. She might show a few things more, but when it comes to what she knows of Bella's thoughts, Arria's lips are sealed. Her mind, too.

Edward said that something horrible must have happened in order for Jacob to be a wolf. Because Paula herself admitted that he would make a horrible one. And she feared if she turned him, he would end up dead because he is not all that intelligent. So you ask a very good question. You'll find out more on that in the next few chapters.

Best,

Books

Reviewer: TraceyJ (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 05:00 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War

ROFLMAO!  Good God. This is still hysterical.... My fave part?

The second I saw the moron, I was yanking that wolf status. I saw his beady little eyes and drooling rapscallion rubbery lips in my mind, as I heard her ribs crack beneath his hands. He'd make an ugly wolf, anyway. And a stupid one, too. And if Victoria's troops had attacked, factoring in his stupidity, how was he still alive? That merited further consideration. Jacob Black was the cockroach of my life. 

*slapping leg laughing* Seriously?  I know it wasn't good with Paula dying and all...But I didn't know that when I first read this! Damn... Oh and the snarky summary at the beginning?  Priceless!  Can't wait for more..... This really is a soap opera.....absoutely genius!

 



Author's Response:

Hi there TraceyJ!

*sniffs* I prefer Epic Saga thank you very much. LOL. I'm delighted that you are enjoying Edward's hissy fit over Jacob. I mean the poor guy only risked his cojones several times to save Bella - who for the record her really does not like all that much having his Father insist that he had to marry her his entire life - when Jacob is kind of sort of jealous of her. He sees Charlie as the father he always wanted and when Bella came to town, it always meant two things. First, Billy would start yammering that he had to marry her, and second, he'd see less of Charlie. So here's Jacob who is not the sharpest tool in the shed being heroic and standing up for Bella and really saving her life and all Edward can think about is that he broke her ribs, put his lips on here and therefore, must die. Glad the man has his priorities straight.

I've already got the next chapter written. Kinda. :) I'll post it as soon as I can. Thanks so much for your review! You made me laugh. :)

Best,

Books

Reviewer: Rgwmnks (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 04:48 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War

Whew, I think I held my breath through most of this chapter.  A lot of info in here.  I am not real sure that I believe Arria.  I mean, she seems to have her own agenda here.  I am hoping that she is wrong because if not then we have lost Paula and that imbecile Jacob really is a wolf.  I am anxious for them to all get back to Forks.  I really want to hear from Bella on all the stuff that has happened while Edward was running away, looking for Vickie, or whatever.  He did not make sure that Bella was properly taken care of.  It seems that his leaving to protect those he loved had quite opposite effect.  Like I said, i hope these are fabricated visions.
I'll be here when the next chapter is posted, until them I will be sure that I have an inhaler ready at the helm. :o)

Great Chapter.



Author's Response:

Hi there Rgwnmks!

There is indeed a lot of info on these chapters. That's why to me it was easier to break them into smaller units and post every few days to give people time to digest. The family trees by Mizra really do help, too. If you remember the first part of the story, Jacob really is a wolf. Seriously. Swear. Go read Lies, Dreams, and Schemes. They'll be in Forks soon. Promise. Keep in mind, Bella is not in any shape to do any talking right now - even if she wasn't catatonic. The visions you saw ARE true. So with that in mind, put yourself in her shoes. Edward loves her one day and proposes and the next day tells her it was all a lie. His family who said they'd be gone for 3 days does not come back when all Hell breaks loose. Would you trust them after what she's been through? And does Bella strike you as the talkative type?

The sad thing about Edward is that he really did make an honest effort to make sure that Bella was protected. Arria has a HUGE coven. He left her in their care. So Arria here is really looking every bit as bad as he does because Bella is human for crying out loud and Arria should have been able to watch over her better. And Arria failed to protect the Forks area from Victoria (more on that next chapter). Plus, he thought that the wolf-pack would protect Bella. So they kinda sorta fell down on the job, too. and then there was Paula, the shaman. She should have contacted Edward if there was a problem. They had a link. And she didn't. So I realize at first glance Edward looks like an ass - and this is not intended whatsoever to take away from the horrible things he said to her when he dumped her. But he really did believe she would be safe and took measures to ensure it. Too bad reality had other ideas. Edward in his mind, was leaving for a suicide mission. He did not expect to survive killing Victoria. In his mind, it would be far easier for him to die, than for Victoria to get her hands on Jasper And Mary Alice. So in his mind he was making a sacrifice to show his family how much they mattered. He also, to be clear, was choosing them over Bella.

And you will need your seat belt and an inhaler is a great idea. Maybe a brown paper sack. :) *evil grin*

Best,

Books

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