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Reviewer: summerc79 (Signed) · Date: February 01, 2010 03:30 AM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War
Ave Books!
Great to see a new update up so soon after the last one :D Kudos!! First of, can I say that if my last review made your night, your reply made my day. Oh, by the way, what you said about "Devotion is Beautiful"? That is exactly the point I wanted to make by mentioning it. And I totally agree with you that as things stand at present, our favourite couple cant possibly walk off into the sunset holding hands. It's just my inner HEA cheerleader that was coming to play LOL not to mention the love of a happy CCE ;)
OK, so ch. 52...
Women and mothers can be so mean... There was CCE chance to fully assess Bella's condition (you know, him being a doctor. Twice. Professional...) and he got denied... At least his "exposed" torment was short - except for the lingering echo of the minds around him that is.
You have to admire his dedication though, when it comes to his favoured subject of studies - not to mention his furthering of basic physiotherapy. IS he fully booked for weeks to come? I could use a little help to release the tension in my shoulders too.
Arria, the way she goes on you'd think she was born out of Jupiter's thigh. She needs Daddy M (not Boney, huh, though maybe he can turn out to be daddy Cool - somehow...) to steer her back on the right path. Such impatience for someone who has all the time in the world. Not to mention her lack of foresight. Is she a firm believer in wishful thinking?? Liam should have given her a crash course on human sensitivity at some point or other. Then again they may well have been occupied elsewhere, with a different kind of human sensitivity studying... Poor Bella!
Also, DONT aggravate Mary Alice (tiny but sturdly!). Her and Jasper are the calm before the storm. Dont get them upset - where have I heard that before? Oh, and I like Monsieur Emmet. Does he blow-dry as well??
Maybe it is time to hand CCE some Xanax. Or run him a bath with Ylang-Ylang and lavender oils, you know, just to relax him some. He cant very well give himself a massage can he? He's good, but not that good surely. I volonteer to stand by and hand him a towel at the appropriate time though. We all got to do what we can to help, right? Every little bit counts, and if I need to sacrifice myself, then so be it.
Arria doesnt back down easy does she? Though with her lineage I guess that makes sense. That dog love its bone lolIt's either her way or, well, no way at all. I would love to see her SSE impersonation though. Maybe we should start collecting funds for her own customized prayer bench? She'll have you for it, the things she let Bella see... Tsk, tsk, tsk...
Old friends have made a come back lately. Good to hear of Grace again. Not so happy about Jacob's reappearance though... Oh well, it's got to give a little bit I guess. And he did contribute to saving Bella after the cliff jumping episode so he cant be all THAT bad. Now I know that CCE has Quileute Powers and that those seem to have a fetish for all things green, but he should try to keep the green-eyed monster at least at arms'length... Hang on... Human Edward had green eyes... Maybe there's a link there somewhere...
CCE is definitely waking up from his I-know-best state. Ouch! Feathery clouds are not really softening the blow right now though. He's got his work cut out. Good news for us ;)
Happy writing, Books! Oh, and hows the throat?
Author's Response: Hi there summerc79!
:) I'm still mulling over the devotion is beautiful line. It's gorgeous. Worthy, perhaps of a chapter title. :) which if I do, you totally get credit for. Edward in my mind, literally experienced dying with Bella but what made it terrifying to him is that he experienced it physically. He did not know what was going on in her mind - that's left up to his imagination. And Edward has a fertile imagination. So when he next sees Bella and realizes that she is indeed alive, he's coming out of his delusion by nothing all the things that seem off. Seeing her back made him relive the vision - the worst moment of his life - again in front of everyone. And to me, it's a sign of his control coming back that even though he lost it for a second, he was able to block Jasper and the rest of the room from feeling what he was feeling when he was in such agony. Jasper was too busy puking and being horrified to notice.
I'm laughing over your booking comment. His hands, alas are for Bella alone. Not that she wants anything to do with them at present. And I'm loving the comparison to Athena - i think that's going in a snarky summary. :) I needed to come up with a plot reason for why Arria - who had seemed to capable in the past could screw up so badly. And you'll learn about it in the next chapter. I wanted her to look bad, but not like a complete moron. But you are totally right on the sensitivity part. She was raised by male soldiers to act like a man - all the while knowing that her female status made her "deficient" in their eyes. She was all they had, the last resort. And now all of a sudden she finds out that her mother is alive, and she has brothers? Arria's world has also tilted. I liked the idea of Emmett sitting down in front of all these manly men and combing the human's hair. He likes combing Rosalie's. And he feels very parental of Bella although he won't call her his daughter for fear of offending Carlisle.
I'm afraid the only thing that will help CCE at present is the recovery of his dear little one, or the slow death of any and all who have harmed her. Arria is a tough negotiator. And she also does not show her emotions easily. She hides them well. You could say she has a very well-crafted poker face. But I wanted to explore the idea of her acting like a parent from her times and THAT being unsatisfactory to the Cullens. For the record, Carlisle and Esme have made many mistakes with Edward. They infantized him all these years, treating him like he really was 17, not a mature adult.
I wanted to show Jake being a hero, but also being imperfect. He saves or helps save Bella's life, and he also risks his neck to do so. He does not do so for Bella, though. He does so because he loves Charlie and looks to him as a father substitute and knows if anything happens to Bella esp anything he could have prevented, it'll kill Charlie.
I am feeling better, thanks for asking. :) And don't count out the green eyed monster yet. CCBella is the hottest human of them all. Vampires are going to be stampeding for her attention. And CC Edward can't pee on her to mark his territory. Alas.
:)
*evil grin*
thanks so much for your thoughtful review and making me laugh. :)
Best,
Books
Reviewer: MsLessa (Signed) · Date: February 01, 2010 02:33 AM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War
*blinks* somehow I missed the last chapter being updated as well so today I felt like I got a two-fer.
Wow.. there is just so much to take in on what's happening. It really feels like I need to block off a week and just reread this all from the beginning because there is so much here that is making past things becoming clearer. Arria is one seriously sucky mommy. Doesn't matter which set of parents Bella's got they are all fucked in the head.
On a smaller yet happy side note... Carmina Burana o fortuna totally got to see this performed live. My mommy took me to see TSO as a Xmas/bday present. BEST LIVE SHOW IN THE WORLD totally worth the hundred bucks a ticket for 3 hours of music.
Author's Response: Hi there MsLessa!
I've seen Carmina Burana before and loved it. Esp. the story behind it. So of course I had to use it in this chapter. And yeah, Arria will never get the mother of the year award so it begs the question if she did the right thing in leaving Bella with the Swans. Somehow I think Bella was better off without her. Thanks so much for making me smile.
Best,
Books
Reviewer: dh_director (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 09:30 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War
I am sure you know where you are going with this story, but there are so many little details and unnecessary references in this chapter that nothing really happens. A story needs action to carry it through. I feel like the plot is starting to stagnate a little.
Author's Response: Hi there dh_director,
Thanks so much for your feedback. This is my first story so it has been a learning experience and I am sure that I don't always get things right. What I tired to do in this section is take a large chapter and divide it into several sections because of the complexity of the plot. I also had Mizra make up a family tree which she spent hours doing in order to help the audience keep track of the plot.
http://www.mizradesign.com/manips/CC/familyhistories.html
I can see how you might construe the plot is slowing down at this point. I had to get more subplots off the page and did not want to end with a cliffhanger. I do think that you and I have a different notion fo the conceptualization of "action" in a story and I'd appreciate it if you could PM me and explain your view on that concept in a story. Thanks so much for your feedback.
Best,
Books
Reviewer: JaJiTaXx (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 09:06 PM · On: Prologue: Bella, Sex, and Privacy
mmm.... i see your point with Arria and Bella....
*pouts* but i wanna know....
hahha
i'm gonna sleep now so Buenas Noches!!
Author's Response: I understand your frustration. Imagine the Cullens. They want to know, too. And they are going to have a hard time learning anything that is helpful. :)
Get some rest!
Books
Reviewer: Mav (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 08:36 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War
Adore it! I'm so glad Edward is slowly removing his head from his ass and the baddies are getting the come-uppance they deserve! Sounds like Arria might be grounded for a century or two for flunking Leadership 101. Looking forward to Edward groveling once Bella comes to - it's going to take some pretty hard-core sucking up, though!
Author's Response: HI there Mav!
Thanks so much! I don't know about you, but I had to think about times in my life that I'm not so proud of - times when I have hurt someone's feelings. Sometimes it takes a while for the impact of the actions to click. So I did not want Edward to understand all at once what a jerk he had been. I want it to come to him in bits and pieces here and there and sink in over time. That's why in the front arc of the story he keeps saying what an angel Bella is for taking him back after all he put her through.
Yeah, Arria made a huge mistake in trusting Bella's safety the way she did, and she's mad as a wet hen about it. I had to give a plausible explanation for why Bella would go through such a bad time considering that Arria's coven is so large. I also wanted to be able to point fingers at someone else aside from Edward as to why Bella is in such bad shape. He did take steps to make sure she would be safe. He left 200 pages of instructions with the Fake Canadians. He counted on the tribe to help, too. And everyone failed Bella for, at least to me, good reasons.
And put yourself in Bella's shoes right now. Would you believe a word that came out of his mouth or that of the Cullens'? I wouldn't. Sucking up would only drive me further away. He's totally screwed. :) evil grin.
Thanks so much for your review and support of this story. You made the cold author's heart in me smile thinking of Edward's plight.
Best,
Books
Reviewer: JaJiTaXx (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 06:27 PM · On: Prologue: Bella, Sex, and Privacy
my headache is definetely worse.... and between twitter, watching the grammys and reading... i'm making it worse... ¬¬!!
that Arria.... i don't know if i should laugh, be angry or just hit her for her mother skills... she's a nut job... rivaling Edward... (douglas has his nuts... so i'll just say el está loco)....
i just wanna know what the hell happened to her... and for her to wake up soon... i'm not a patience person... i hope we'll know soon!!....
the thing u said on twitter... almost brought me to tears... that was so sweet... thanks!! :P
muchos saludos
JaJy!!
Author's Response: Hi there JaJy!!
I'm sorry to hear about your headache. I hope you feel better soon. I don't get them often but when I do, I am completely useless. Arria to me is a complicated figure. She is not a traditional kind of mother. She did not have a conventional upbringing even by the norms of her time. After the ambush, her little branch of the coven fled as far away as they could and stumbled upon the algae so stayed put in Washington state for hundreds of years. She was raised by soldiers to believe that she was Marcus' only living heir. Now all of a sudden she's not. Edward doing the hunger strike when he did with the other covens that they had treaties with really caused her to have to overextend her forces. So she learned the hard way and made mistakes. I wanted people to see that she most certainly is not perfect, and that just because Bella finds out she's not biologically related to Renee does not make her life any better.
With Bella I want you to keep something in mind. Think of the way that I have written her character. She is the one who sat around silently for months playing along with Edward and the Cullens' game of pretending to be human and never gave them a sign that she really knew. She completely caught them off guard. She does not trust easily at all. And she also found out during that time period that Charlie and Renee had lied to her about her brain injury all of her life "for her own good." I hope by seeing the dialogues (mental ones) that Edward has overheard from Leah you also see that she never told Leah anything about Edward. At all. Or Seth. Or Sue. Or Harry. Or Charlie. So why then, with something like Edward and his family (which is big, mind you) if she kept her mouth shut because she kept her word that she would - would she start talking now - now when she has absolutely no reason to trust Edward and the Cullens? Or Arria. She will wake up soon, but don't expect her to be forthcoming with information. Hope that made sense. :)
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Reviewer: fanficreader83 (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 06:01 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War
So we definitely learned more about Bella during Edward's time away... she developed some powers and had many tragic things going on around her and to her... I am very curious about the flashback in which she says that she is stronger than she appears... I also think it was quite appropriate for Edward to claim that same thing at the end. There is so much still to learn about these two!
I am curious if we will learn more about Paula and also about you mentioning the first part of this story... do we get any hints or should I go and revisit it to see if I can make sense of things... I must be honest though that I love this story but am always surprised... I like to think that I can figure things out while I am reading but I am always finding myself surprised, pleasantly so as I am so enthralled with this story!
Author's Response: Hi there fanficreader83!
Thanks so much for your feedback. And what you had to say about the flashback made my night. To me, I thought it would be interesting in this story to raise the issue of strength. Who is stronger? Edward or Bella? Because to me both are strong and weak in different ways. Edward has endured emotional hell - self inflicted - but emotional hell for seven decades without cracking. It raises the issue of whether that is strength or a sign of his mental illness. Bella for her part has endured all sorts of things that would send the average human screaming for a bottle of Xanax. And yet she's still kicking. After everything she had been through, for her to act the way she did in the throne room to save the children - to me that showed strength. How she treated her father at the end of this chapter - that took courage. So I wanted to show how both are frail, yet strong.
You will not get any hints about Paula from the first part of the story. Not any you could discern at this point so it wouldn't be fair for me to send you back to read for it. I'll tell you that much. You also will learn more about that situation yes. Promise.
And thanks so much for your kind words on the plot. I try very hard to make it unpredictable without giving the audience the sensation that the twists don't make any sense. I'm still new to this whole writing dealio so I've been learning as I progress. :)
Best,
Books
Reviewer: JaJiTaXx (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 05:24 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War
hi there books!.... i must really love this story, because i've had a MASSIVE headache all day and i read it anyway...
Bella teleported... mmm... WOW!!!.... that was unexpected to say the least....
we can finally know what the hell happened with Bella all those months... mmm... so, she really tried to kill herself, even if it was as a mean to escape, or save everyone... idk....
Paula is dead... mmm...
and why in the hell Jacob is a wolf?....
saludos
JaJiTaXx
Author's Response: Hi there JaJiTaXx!
I am so sorry to hear about your poor head. I hope that you feel better soon. I can't even think when I had a headache, so I admire your determination and strength. :)
I did set the stage for teleportation throughout the story with the Fake Canadians appearing and disappearing in How Bout Dem Apples - and Edward was teleported by the Gorgon not once, but twice. So I figured it could happen to Bella. For the record, she could not do that when Edward was in town. And we finally have some glimpses into what happened to Bella. The challenge for the Cullens will be finding out the truth. Arria is in a bad spot because if she tells everything she knows then a) she makes herself look bad because she was supposed to be guarding Bella - and failed, and more importantly; b) Arria does not think it really is the Cullens' business what happened to Bella. Edward dumped her. They left. End of story as far as she is concerned. She will not blocked Edward and Bella being together, but she's not going to make it easy on Edward. She also because she does not have an understanding of mental health, really does not see the importance of why anyone should know what happened to Bella. She might show a few things more, but when it comes to what she knows of Bella's thoughts, Arria's lips are sealed. Her mind, too.
Edward said that something horrible must have happened in order for Jacob to be a wolf. Because Paula herself admitted that he would make a horrible one. And she feared if she turned him, he would end up dead because he is not all that intelligent. So you ask a very good question. You'll find out more on that in the next few chapters.
Best,
Books
Reviewer: TraceyJ (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 05:00 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War
ROFLMAO! Good God. This is still hysterical.... My fave part?
The second I saw the moron, I was yanking that wolf status. I saw his beady little eyes and drooling rapscallion rubbery lips in my mind, as I heard her ribs crack beneath his hands. He'd make an ugly wolf, anyway. And a stupid one, too. And if Victoria's troops had attacked, factoring in his stupidity, how was he still alive? That merited further consideration. Jacob Black was the cockroach of my life.
*slapping leg laughing* Seriously? I know it wasn't good with Paula dying and all...But I didn't know that when I first read this! Damn... Oh and the snarky summary at the beginning? Priceless! Can't wait for more..... This really is a soap opera.....absoutely genius!
Author's Response: Hi there TraceyJ!
*sniffs* I prefer Epic Saga thank you very much. LOL. I'm delighted that you are enjoying Edward's hissy fit over Jacob. I mean the poor guy only risked his cojones several times to save Bella - who for the record her really does not like all that much having his Father insist that he had to marry her his entire life - when Jacob is kind of sort of jealous of her. He sees Charlie as the father he always wanted and when Bella came to town, it always meant two things. First, Billy would start yammering that he had to marry her, and second, he'd see less of Charlie. So here's Jacob who is not the sharpest tool in the shed being heroic and standing up for Bella and really saving her life and all Edward can think about is that he broke her ribs, put his lips on here and therefore, must die. Glad the man has his priorities straight.
I've already got the next chapter written. Kinda. :) I'll post it as soon as I can. Thanks so much for your review! You made me laugh. :)
Best,
Books
Reviewer: Rgwmnks (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 04:48 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War
Whew, I think I held my breath through most of this chapter. A lot of info in here. I am not real sure that I believe Arria. I mean, she seems to have her own agenda here. I am hoping that she is wrong because if not then we have lost Paula and that imbecile Jacob really is a wolf. I am anxious for them to all get back to Forks. I really want to hear from Bella on all the stuff that has happened while Edward was running away, looking for Vickie, or whatever. He did not make sure that Bella was properly taken care of. It seems that his leaving to protect those he loved had quite opposite effect. Like I said, i hope these are fabricated visions.
I'll be here when the next chapter is posted, until them I will be sure that I have an inhaler ready at the helm. :o)
Great Chapter.
Author's Response: Hi there Rgwnmks!
There is indeed a lot of info on these chapters. That's why to me it was easier to break them into smaller units and post every few days to give people time to digest. The family trees by Mizra really do help, too. If you remember the first part of the story, Jacob really is a wolf. Seriously. Swear. Go read Lies, Dreams, and Schemes. They'll be in Forks soon. Promise. Keep in mind, Bella is not in any shape to do any talking right now - even if she wasn't catatonic. The visions you saw ARE true. So with that in mind, put yourself in her shoes. Edward loves her one day and proposes and the next day tells her it was all a lie. His family who said they'd be gone for 3 days does not come back when all Hell breaks loose. Would you trust them after what she's been through? And does Bella strike you as the talkative type?
The sad thing about Edward is that he really did make an honest effort to make sure that Bella was protected. Arria has a HUGE coven. He left her in their care. So Arria here is really looking every bit as bad as he does because Bella is human for crying out loud and Arria should have been able to watch over her better. And Arria failed to protect the Forks area from Victoria (more on that next chapter). Plus, he thought that the wolf-pack would protect Bella. So they kinda sorta fell down on the job, too. and then there was Paula, the shaman. She should have contacted Edward if there was a problem. They had a link. And she didn't. So I realize at first glance Edward looks like an ass - and this is not intended whatsoever to take away from the horrible things he said to her when he dumped her. But he really did believe she would be safe and took measures to ensure it. Too bad reality had other ideas. Edward in his mind, was leaving for a suicide mission. He did not expect to survive killing Victoria. In his mind, it would be far easier for him to die, than for Victoria to get her hands on Jasper And Mary Alice. So in his mind he was making a sacrifice to show his family how much they mattered. He also, to be clear, was choosing them over Bella.
And you will need your seat belt and an inhaler is a great idea. Maybe a brown paper sack. :) *evil grin*
Best,
Books
Reviewer: jenejes (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 04:21 PM · On: Prologue: Bella, Sex, and Privacy
sweet! I like Evil Marcus. You don't get to see it in many of the stories, and I'm truly truly stoked to see what he (you) come up with.
Now that you mention how you wanted it to come across, I can see it. Something like "Angela...Wright..Warner..Walker. or whatever. Angela W. That."
But I digress. I've started writing my own all human, cuz I'm afraid of the Vampverse if I mess it up ;-) I wanted to thank you for giving me the "nuts" to put my thoughts to paper..or screen
Author's Response: Oh hon, I mess up the vampverse all the time. No one has tried to put me over the coals for it. If you want to write a vamp story - go for it! Seriously! One of the nice things about AU is that if I wanted to change a character's name, I could do it, cause it's AU. So really, let your muses loose.
And I'll probably do the Walllker...webbster..dealio in the next chapter. I had considered that too, but worried that I just had too much going on. I knew if I got Mike's name wrong everyone would really be confizzled.
I am having so much fun with Marcus. Glad you are enjoying him. He's such a fun character. Jasper's having a man-crush.
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Reviewer: jenejes (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 04:01 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War
I couldn't have them terrorizing Angela Walker I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this should be Webber.
Anyway, wow. So, this is so getting f-ed up right about now. I LOVE the family trees.
Okay, so Edward is realizing a)he's been gone a LOT longer than he ever thought. b) he left his family/friends in a heap of trouble he could never imagine and c) Bella is never going to forgive him...
Holy Douglas' nuts, this is one hell of a ride. What are the Telecles going to do about Maria and reunite Aro with his son? They are so powerful, it shouldn't take much to find her and teleport her to Volterra, right? Gah, this story is fun!
lots of love
Jene
Author's Response: Hi Jene!
You're not the bearer of bad news. Thanks for catching that. :) And the family trees are awesome. I think, when I initially wrote the Angela part, I put the name in wrong because I wanted to show Edward was still not quite there. Upon second reading, that doesn't come through.
Eve was Aro's daughter. She's dead, really dead. So Aro could only be reunited with her (and his mate, too) by Edward showing them Arria's memories of her. It's Caius who has the son who was kidnapped and turned into an immortal child. I didn't put Caius family in the family trees.
The Telecles clan has not even started with maria. That's all I'm saying. :) *evil grin*
I can tell you they will not be finding her and teleporting her to Volterra. What they have in mind is much more painful.
Best,
Books
Reviewer: LJ Summers (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 03:42 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty-One - The Sounds of Silence and War
OH WOW. I love the family tree montage by Mizra!!!
This whole story is much more portentous here at Twilighted than in a doc. Just sayin'. Still, when you're done, I'm totally begging it from you.
Looking forward to Marcus' gettin' down and dirty (or looking down and dirty. or thinking dirty, anyway) on their next steps.
OH and your summaries are to die for. If the people with Sparks or Cliffs Notes wrote like this, lit books would sit, collecting dust, even on the shelves of lit majors.
Author's Response: Hi there LJ!
I nod in humble thanks - you helped make this happen. Couldn't have done it without you. Seriously. I like that I can put all the pictures here at Twilighted compared to the format at ff, where I have to put the link in and hope people click on it. I had sooo much fun writing Marcus' romp through Romania - he'll only be there a few hours. But still. And many thanks for the summaries. I write them last and they are hard to do. I have to be in the right snarky mindframe. :)
Thanks so much for all your help. Starched Shirt Edward is waving at you. Douglas wants to remind you he has all the nuts in this picture. All the ones that matter.
Reviewer: anniebme (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 12:00 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seventeen - When the Fur Flies
favorite scene - edward and emmett in the morning. touching.
Author's Response: I had a lot of fun writing that. Edward is not a toucher. At all. :)
Thanks for the review anniebme - you got a shoud out in the chapter that is in the queue about to be posted.
Best,
Books
Reviewer: June (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2010 06:14 AM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty - The Lies That Bind
How I would love to hear our Crazy Little Thing Called...Edward talk in "dog" voice to Marginal Dog. You know, that voice we all talk to dogs in, like they're babies or something, "Well aren't you just the cutest widdle sweetie pie in the whole world. Does you want your bwelly scwatched? You does dwont you?"
I loved the brief interaction between Alice and Bella. No, there's nothing out of the ordinary going on here...no, it's not been 8 months since you've heard from me...all is normal, nothing to see here.
What I wouldn't give to see the inside of Jugg's cave. I can only imagine...
Though I was surprised at his willingness to throw out the term "milf" in reference to his future/current-ish mother in law. I hope someday we get to see Edward's realization of what, exactly, his subconscious was thinking at the time.
By the way, there is no bad day that a few minutes on Urban Dictionary can't turn around. I'm sure Jugg's has it bookmarked.
I know this is a pivotal point in the story, but I am starting to miss Edward/Bella interaction. I will be patient though, because I know you know what you are doing, dear author.
Can't wait to read more...
Author's Response: The next chapter is posted on ff.net, and is in the queue at Twilighted. I think that it is visually better looking in Twilighted, but that doesn't mean you can't pop over to ff and read it and then come and see it when it goes up on Twilighted. Just sayin. :)
I really can't see Edward even talking to a child like that, although you are making me laugh. Oh, we'll definitely see more of Jugurtha's cave. The library has received too much attention, methinks. Now that Edware really needs the predator to help him navigate the new jungle of his life, we'll have more sessions in that cave. I was trying with the Milf reference to do two things - one to have Jugurthat still a little out of character in order to show that Edward is not quite where he needs to be. Jugurtha very clearly said earlier that since he now knew that Vivinna was his Grandmother-in-law she was off the list of attractive women, and yet now he's saying the opposite. I also wanted to show with Edward's clueless ness over the words a way of dramatizing that he kind of sort of admired her for slugging him but didn't know how to mentally express it in a way that sounded appropriate.
I know you miss Edward and Bella, I do, too. But right now she's really is catatonic, and will be for 24 hours and I don't want to do a time passes at jump to that point without "showing" how people around her react, esp. what the brave new reality the cullens now find themselves in. She will wake up as soon as they get to Forks. The flashbacks you see are supposed to be the clashing of past/present/and future. For example, with the tree at the beginning, I wanted to show how biased Edward was. He has multiple degrees in biology, and yet fails to see the tree for what the academic side of him should recognize. Bella has to be the one to point that out. He sees the trees as either dead or dying, burdended by the moss. She sees that the trees are alive even after they've fallen to the ground and others consider them to be dead. Kind of like she's trying to tell him that if she were a vampire, she's still be every bit as alive. He totally misses that point. And keep in mind in the last chapter when Marcus said that although she was too weak to be turned, he would see that she was, Bella looked heartbroken. So the question remains how did she get from "I want to be a vampire and spend eternity with you," to "I really don't want to get turned."
As ever thank so much for your support of the story and for always making me think. :)
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Jugurtha is throwing orchid petals and avalanche lilies at you
Reviewer: anniebme (Signed) · Date: January 29, 2010 09:52 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Fourteen - Phantasms, Families, and Fantasies
oooohhhhh!!!! what's up cliffhanger!!!!!! its a good thing i don't have to wait for the next chapter - i don't know what i would have done had i started this when you did!!!!
Author's Response: I post regularly and I make sure that I really post on time if I do what I call an informational cliff hanger, Anniebme. Cause you know from the front part of the story that ExB are in one piece - so there's only so much I can do in this section as far as cliffes go *wails*
The gloves are totally off when we're done with this arc. Kidding. Not. :)
Thanks so much for the review! You are heading into the mystery part of the story. I've planted clues everywhere. :)
Best,
Books
Reviewer: sexysadie13 (Signed) · Date: January 28, 2010 06:58 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty - The Lies That Bind
Hey...sorry I didn't get to leave a review on the last chapter. It's been a while since I could get on the 'net. Anyways, I loved this and the last chapter. Edward seems to be coming out of the closet - I mean, pyschosis. Hopefully he'll truly realize what a dumb ass he was for leaving her in the first place - especially now that he's seen the damage by Victoria - or, Annie - geez, can't they just keep they're real names?! jk. Hopefully, with Bella being like, royalty of the Vampverse and all, Tanya, Victoria, and oh, maybe good 'ole Charlie Swan could use a "talkin' to" by Marcus and his clan? I don't know whose dick Tanya is gonna have to su-....wait, succomb to in order to get out of the mess she creates for herself in the future, but it should be a good story to tell everyone over drinks. I bet Mike and Jessica even get in the fun! I am really interested in seeing how all of this plays out - and your story is still TOTALLY my favorite! I can't wait for the next episode of As Edward is (almost)Burned- and-ripped-to-bits-by-all-of-Bella's-immortal-relatives. Haha - can't wait!
Author's Response: Hi there sexysadie13!
I am always delighted for feedback whenever I can get it. Please don't feel like you have to apologize. I totally understand how RL can get in the way. :) And you are seeing what I have been trying to show, his gradual emergence into the big bad world.
And he will most definitely get it. Promise. Mizra is working on a family tree that will help everyone figure out the names dealio. And I think you will be entertained by Marcus when he gets to Forks. And I'm totally dying over your Tanya comment. She would like me to tell you that it's quality not quantity that matters. And you will see more of Mike and Jessica most definitely.
I'm having fun with the next two chapters at present. I'll get them up as soon as I can. :)
Best,
Books
Reviewer: summerc79 (Signed) · Date: January 28, 2010 03:47 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty - The Lies That Bind
Books!
How are you my books lover friend? Joigned SSE's choral back yet?
First thing I wanted to say, and I have quite a few... I that for some reason, while there are quite a few things happening in this chapter, the pace of the story seemed - to me - much slower than usual. On the story ECG, this chapter have fallen a point on two compared to the previous ones. It's still alive and kicking though ;)
Aah! the (brief) return of Dream Edward. We missed him. Then again Im holding him hostage in MY dreams most nights so I guess that could explain his absence...
The things you do for love and the right scent! Enduring the smell of human food, even have it coating your fingers, all in the name of your little bottle cap's well being. As we say in French: "C'est beau le dévouement" in other words: Devotion is beautiful.
You've got to admit that after everything poor Edward has been going through lately he deserves some one on one time with his Dear little one. Yet he cant seem to get there, with the Family, in-laws and a dog hanging around like a bad smell (hmmm think the Quileute powers could help with that?), granted E & B need their help and support but after all they are technically newly-weds thanks to Marcus so...
Hey, about Bella's gyrfalcons, do you think they might have sparked an ornithology interest in Edward? You know, that it could give him something to do/study once or if his life turns back to being normal bordeline boring - as in no intruder to keep away from algae lover's soul?
Arria & Edward (and Marcus?) holding hands... well, why did that generate in my over-working mind the image of them dancing in traditional costume to the sound of folk music?? Although the result of their "handy work" - the coloured shield - should rather evoke some music that SSE would definitely not approve of (you know, the whole Mardi Gras decadence)
Of course, Genghis had to go die on Edward...why not have Bella be non-responsive while we're at it?? Ooh, hang on, that's happened to. Damn! Someone has it in for E! lol and mouth to mouth to the mutt?? Once again, the things you do for love and your Dear little one.
Bella's sorry state. That was the perfect excuse to use "Mea Culpa" there. Just saying... ;) ok, ok, technically you did. But your latin streak should have come out to play. Bet it was dying to! Admit it! hahaha Thank God for Jugurtha's catalogues by the way. They will no doubt help channel and diffuse SSE anger. As for Edward, well he should have made a better assessment of her. After all, isnt he a doctor. Twice. Professional? But ok, he'll be forgiven this time - and this time only! he's been warned - since he himself isnt in top form at the moment. Still... Tsk, tsk, tsk
The return of Hezekiah. Yay! Missed him and his wisdom. All we need now is Douglas.
Scorned wives. A real plague, Im telling you! Poor Jasper. And Bella. And Edward... At least Marcus was understanding. Ever thought of giving Edward a voodoo doll to help with some of his problems? There's got to be the vampire kind somewhere. In Transylvania or something.
Even with all these new developments, our favourite Mountain Lion lover can take comfort in that Marcus has declared him and Bella mated. Take that, suckers!!! Literally!! Ha! He does need a healthy dose of Bottle Cap cuddling though. Come on, have a heart. His is beating. Sometimes. Have mercy! You're big hearted like that. I know ;)
Author's Response: Hi there summerc79!
Bronchitis sucks. :( You are absolutely right about the pacing. I'm not used to splitting chapters into smaller arcs so a little bit of this is touch and go. I love that phrase, "devotion is beautiful" because to me it shows the irony. Edward did a lot of things that were quite ugly to "show" his devotion. And he did some lovely things as well. And you are right that Edward has been through a considerable ordeal. Now put yourself in Bella's place. She fell head over heels for him, he swept her off her feet (literally), saved her life a time or two, proposed marriage, and then dumped her the next day. Would you want to be alone with him? Would you want to be near his family - you know the ones who told you how welcome you were in the family, that they'd be gone a few days and never came back? I wouldn't.
And Bella, being Marcus' human heir - Edward will never have spare time on his hands to take up new avocations. He's going to have to help her 24/7. And I'm totally laughing at your proper use of mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa. See Starched Shirt Edward would say that. Main Edward would think it in English. And yes, it was a remarkable feat of self-control to keep from bursting into Latin, I channeled it by doing more research. :) And you have pointed to something that is most definitely relevant. Edward SHOULD have made a better assessment of her. The fact that he didn't is a sign of him not being quite right at the time. Douglas is waiting in the wings impatiently. We will also be introducing a love interest for him.
Edward definitely could use voodoo. :)
I said something to a friend of mine who was writing a NM AU about the reuinion part. I told her that Edward had to earn that first kiss back. And that's how I feel about CC Edward. You do have my promise that I won't drag it out. He does have to earn back Bella's trust. The Cullens, too. And if you look at how she treated her own parents? Problems.I am big-hearted when it suits me. *mwa-ha-ha*
Thanks so much for the review and making me think about my story. You made my night. :)
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Reviewer: blue2185 (Signed) · Date: January 28, 2010 12:12 PM · On: Prologue: Bella, Sex, and Privacy
I wonder if you made the wolves bad?
Author's Response: Like the Quileutes turned on Bella while the Cullens were gone? No. Definitely not. :)
Swear. Deranged author's honor. :) Thanks for the review!
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Reviewer: blue2185 (Signed) · Date: January 28, 2010 11:40 AM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty - The Lies That Bind
Poor Genghis! I wonder how Victoria had managed to hurt Bella as bad as she did. Edward is in a lot of trouble now. I feel so bad for Bella! I wonder what caused the scratch marks?
Author's Response: You'll find out soon. Promise. :)
Thanks for the review. Genghis is woofing at you.
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Reviewer: blue2185 (Signed) · Date: January 28, 2010 08:46 AM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Thirty-Nine - Desperate Times Create Disparate Vampires
Great chapter! Poor doggy! Stench deserved everything he got!
Author's Response: Stench did indeed! And officially, just so you know. I haven't even started torturing stench. :) *evil grin*
Thanks so much for the review!
Best,
Books
Reviewer: anniebme (Signed) · Date: January 28, 2010 01:47 AM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness - Part Seven - My Queen
loved the jacob edward interaction and the family discussion and alice eating. loved this chapter and how edward is progressing, even if he has issues like in the car, he can handle them like a gentle-ward that he is.
Author's Response: Hi there anniebme!
I had a lot of fun with that scene. A friend of mine pointed out to me when she saw the first draft that I needed to make Jake less cartoony and more real to life - so while he's not a love interest for Bella in this story - and his behavior at times is not all that bright - I've tried in later chapters to help people understand why Jake acts the way he does without excusing it. And I wanted to "show" how he has changed in his behavior by having the readers hear him snooping on his family. I cringe when I read many characterizations of Alice. She won't be dragging Bella off on a shopping excursion in this story. I thought she was way smarter than that. So I'm having a blast with this story and am glad you are enjoying it as well. Many thanks for the review.
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Reviewer: anniebme (Signed) · Date: January 27, 2010 11:37 PM · On: Chapter 8: Heart of Darkness Part Six - Bonkers
all eddy's efforts are paying off. although he may seem crazy to everyone else, his de-edwarding is delightful.
Author's Response: Hi there anniebme!
I had so much fun writing that chapter. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I wanted to poke fun at Edward's ahem boundary issues.
:) Thanks so much for reviewing. :)
*evil grin*
Best,
Books
Reviewer: Fleuritup (Signed) · Date: January 27, 2010 07:16 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty - The Lies That Bind
i loved your summary of the last chapter, made me laugh so thanks, now on to the story, i feel bad for edward, i mean he didnt know that when he left her that she would be in such danger and now everyone wants to kick his ass, he suffers aplenty with the sideaffects of the powers and the self guilt and hatred. dude needs a break, i am surprised he hasnt had a nervous break down sooner. but it was nice to hear that bella laughed even though it was the very end. she too needs some happiness. its very interesting this new revelation on arria's or whoever it was motive for using liam for the possible lineage. and now that there are other very powerful clans that could possibly rival marcus. i admit that this is seriously drama packed but i like the drama in this story keeps me on my toes.
ok i have to say it the Victoria bitch needs to die, reading how bella looked that was just too much and now my understanding and sympathy of victorias motives to get to jasper is all gone. i can no longer feel bad about her loss. and im just amazed that no one noticed before. how is bella still alive with to many ailments? she seems nothing like bella from the first arc. when will we see more stupidty from the newborns. i found it disgusting that edward had to do mouth to mouth with the dog, of all ppl there why did he ask edward, isnt he doing enough with all the shields and using the powerless source or source of power or whatever?
i loved that milf comment that edward assumed was mispronounced for milk. it was jurgurtha right?hes a traitor, because he should only have eyes for bella. and should only desire to be punch like that with bellas fists. i find edwards ignorance for modern phrases and expressions to be hilarious, like the part about wanting to be spanked.
i was very pleased when marcus told edward he didnt have to keep the burden of protecting bella alone because they could all help or whatever, and when he let them help i had a proud moment for edward letting others in, even for a little bit despite the fact that it made things a little easier for him it was nice to see that he showed some trust. last time i demanded maria's death now its both she and victoria. i hope they dont manage to team up with another powerful coven.
pheonix really seems like a whimp stealing womens shoes and always fighting from a distance or using others. plus he played the flute(not that men cant) but for such a "powerful" vamp whoses rep proceeds him youd think he'd do something a little more masculin. something to live up to the reputation.
please update soon.
Author's Response: Hi there Fleuritup!
The chapter is with the beta. Swear. It might take her a few days to wade through it, but I'll post it the second I finish doing the edits. Promise. And you are right, Edward did have no idea that Bella could be in that much danger. He went out of his way to make sure she was protected. So right now there's a little part of him that is indignant at Arria and the pack. But most of him is thinking this is all his fault but trying to figure out a way to help her without having to admit a thing to anyone. And as for a nervous breakdown, it depends entirely on how you define it. Edward has been living in a delusion that he constructed for seven decades because he could not handle the guilt at taking so many lives during his rebellious years. Once he snapped out of it and realized that he had murdered - and let's be clear - he was very, very bad - he could not cope with it. And he kinda sorta lied by omission to his parents letting them think he had slipped and that the number was teensy. And his parents because of their beliefs about preserving his privacy never told his siblings - it wasn't their business - so they all think he's never taken a human life. Edward created this "safe" place for himself where he believed that he had to make himself useful and be the perfect vampire child to the Cullens - and never call attention to himself or make any kind of trouble or they might ask him to leave. You could think of it as him having a seventy year long nervous breakdown and watching Bella die being the straw that sent him over the edge. He is now coming back to reality by noticing concrete things like her physical condition.
And I totally agree with you that Victoria has to go. I can't help but feel sorry for her in an odd sort of way. She never planned for Bella to jump. She was lunging for Bella to prevent her from doing it because Bella was no good to her dead. She sincerely thought that Alice's visions would be triggered based on the little she learned about Alice. So she's been raging for 8 months trying to create all this incentive for Jasper to return to Forks, never knowing that Jasper was trapped in Alaska. Had she known, she would have gone and killed Phoenix herself. As sick as it sounds, she truly loves Jasper. And he handled telling her that he was mated horribly - telling her in public - not being very sensitive about it because he was surprised. And he never went after her. So Jasper bears some brunt in this as well. The very worst thing you could do to Victoria would be to let her live and have to watch Jasper be happy with Alice. There would be no greater form of torture for her. And I have to put myself in her place. She sincerely believes that Alice has put some spell on her husband. She believes in the strong love they had - they were childhood sweethearts. That has kept her going over a century as she searched for him every day. I don't know what I would do in her situation.
You ask a very perceptive question about Bella. The necklace has been healing her. But inconsistently. You will learn more in future chapters on that issue. And I thought it was comic gold that Edward had to do mouth to mouth on Genghis because really it is an example that he is putting Bella's needs above his own. That was one of the most unselfish things he's ever done because let's be clear, he loathes that dog. It was Jugurtha and he said that to needle Edward, not because he really feels the hots for the Gorgon. Edward is still too out of it to react to Jugurtha's comment even IF he did understand it. I have used his lack of understanding of idioms as a way to "show" how isolated Edward has made himself over the years. He shut off people's thoughts around him only keeping track of the slang for vampires, because he couldn't bear to hear humans simply being human. I think of him like a person who learns just enough to pass in a culture, but if you started talking in depth, you'd realize there are huge gaps in that person's knowledge. And it gives me lots of opportunities to poke fun at him.
Edward's big deal with his family has been this pride that he protects them. He's just aghast that Bella is in such bad shape because he though that he left her protected and also he sees that he failed to protect his family even though he was trying to aid them the entire time he was gone. And you are the only person who noticed that Edward showed some (although limited) trust in working with others. Jugurtha had to talk him into it. And the fact that he was in such agony kind of was the last thing that made him snap and cooperate.
Phoenix thought the boots he stole belonged to Eleazar - who has a fierce reputation as a fighter. So I found it all kinds of funny that he learns he's wearing a woman's boot. Esp since it belongs to Tanya. And he plays the pan pipes, not a flute, although they are similar sounding. He doesn't really need the pipes in order to kill but they help him focus and he's become dependent on them like a crutch. As for something masculine, he raided towns all across Alaska and took entire towns and villages hostage and had his army feed off of them. I don't know if that makes him masculine but it certainly makes him ruthless. But you do have a point about his portrayal. I wanted Marcus to be looking at Phoenix and declaring that if this was the guy who had people quaking in their boots - they needed to be schooled. And Marcus most definitely plans on helping people realize that Phoenix is highly over-rated. :) *evil grin*
Many, many thanks for making me think about my story and your thoughtful comments.
Best,
Books
Reviewer: pomme_de_terre (Signed) · Date: January 27, 2010 07:02 PM · On: Chapter Eight - Heart of Darkness - Part Forty - The Lies That Bind
Another wonderful chapter. I had no inkling that Bella was as poorly as she is! Edward needs to claw his way back to reality and FAST! Also, thank you so much for your pep talk! You truly helped me break my writers block! Ellie
Author's Response: Hi there Ellie!
Oh Bella is a wreck definitely. But it's a toss up as to who is more of a wreck in my mind. My vote is for Edward. :) And Edward has been coming back bit by bit. Since I had him clobbered over the head when he realized that he was indeed in love with Bella, I didn't want to do the same thing with him figuring out just how screwed he is, so he's going to figure that out bit by bit. And I have a friend of mine who is a psychologist who told me that I had to make Edward notice concrete things first - like Bella's physical condition - and then he'll move on to noticing more complicated things (like the ramifications of his recent behavior).
Thanks so much for your support. :) This has been a tough section to write.
Best,
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