Again, wonderful! Intricate and exquisitely crafted! Brava!

Author's Response:

Hi there Mav!

Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it. :) And you're getting me all misty-eyed praising the complexity of the plot. :) LOL

Best,

Books

Oh thank god you updated! I was starting to get really worried about you. OK OK I totally lied. I was just starting the fire under the tar and had already gotten the feathers ready. Would you prefer a full boil or a simmer? Seriously, I'm glad you're on the mend. I am also glad I am not the only one that imagines the chipmunk voices every time "vampire pitch" is mentioned. Now hurry up and update before I rethink the tar and feathers.

Author's Response:

Yeesh! Yes, Mistress. *grovels* :) LOL

I ams so delighted my meager efforts entertained you so. I'll try to do better next time. LOL Totally agree with you on the chipmunks. It's a chipmunk convention over there.

:) Thanks for making me laugh, Jenney1979,

Books

Awesome chapter!

Great snakry summary at the beginning too; definately necessary as I had no clue what was going on at first!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much for your review, Lost Star. I will keep up the snarky summaries.

Best,

Books

i think you're right about the aftershock thing...

thanks for the salute... it was so thoughtful of you...

my friends are used to read fanfiction, but not as many or as long as I do, only one of them knows enough english to read it, but soon she'll start school so she wont have time to catch up. And the other ones don't live in the same city and they're like 5 years younger than me so they don't have much time to read (because of their parents)... but they want to read it, i've talk so much about it...  :P  it's my favorite fic.... 

Edward is suck it up (i don't know other way to say it, i guess i said it right... here we call it "ser patero") to Leah.... and i get his reasons, he needs to get in Bellas good side quickly....

 

oh and i've started a fic.... those friends i mentioned early, some of them write and they liked it... wanna read it?

Author's Response:

I would love to read your fic.

And you are getting good at your idioms. In English we call it "sucking up" or more formally trying to curry favor.

He knows that Leah is important to Bella, and he remembers that Leah wanted to break them up right before he actually dumped Bella, so in his mind, he has to stop that from happening. He needs Leah on his side, and he knows she doesn't like him and probably never will. So he goes for the practical. Being nice to him, means that all those bad vampires will leave Swan in peace. 

:)

Books

ok, i was going to wait to review this chapter..(fair game) until the chapter was, well actually posted here. but you know me, not always the picture of patience so here it goes. this review is rated m for some minor swearing and anger issues..

POOR LEAH!! edward better cut the crap right now. yes leah is bitchy and self absorbed..but my god! the love of her life and father of her child falls for her cousin. then wigs out goes all crazed wolf and decapitates her cousins almost kills her and DOES KILL THIER CHILD. and edward shows her a vision to convince her of her part in that?? for screaming at emily? for wishing her dead? who wouldnt do that?? how the hell was she suppossed to know that not only is sam now in love with emily but will try to kill leah and accidentaly kill emily because leah dared to scream at her?? then her father gets brutaly murdered then her mother right in front of her face. half her tribe has been demolished and the reservation is burning. with the cullens as far as she knows is no where to be found through all this..she bursts unknowingly into a clearing chock full of battle ready vengence crazed vampires that she can't smell. she's taken totally off gaurd (and oh yea she is also a newborn wolf) so when she takes the offensive(foolishly i admit) edward turns this CHILD human and butt ass naked infront of thousands of vampires, some wolves and the cullens and pretty much berates her, while humiliating her. then he shows her that vision, to show her, her part in what happened with sam(yea freaking right) she keeps it together and helps bring bella back!. something her MATE and mother and mother and all powerful vampires and gehngis and grace and so on and so on could not do. so now since she has nothing she is being guilted into living with vampires to help bella(think leah doesnt notice the thousands that feel protective of bella and want nothing more in the world than to make her better and the all of one person that might feel that way about her) and when she tries to argue, edward the insane, lying, ocd, WORST BOYFRIEND EVER  utmost infuriating vampire threatens this teenage girl saying he will send her into battle naked and human..she shows some fear finaly, softens her demeanor a little... AND HE CALLS HER IMMATURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  AFTER EVERYTHING THAT MADDENING VAMPIRE HAS DONE IN HIS STUPIDITY, IGNORANCE, AND INSANITY, HE CANT CUT LEAH A BREAK?????? where is douglas? he needs to throw things at him from the tree..not his nuts tho, its not worth the waste. better yet..i hope aro grabs alice and sees all about the shattered glass and leaking venom..and tells everybody..twice..  whew ok, i feel better now.

AND JUST FOR GOOD MEASURE LET ME ADD, OF COURSE THE FIRST THING EDWARD DOES AFTER BELLA FINALY SPEAKS....TRIES TO SEND HER TO SLEEP. WE KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THAT

 

and now mr. multiple personality is being nice to leah..to little to late dickward..and by dick..I DONT MEAN THE ONE TRHAT CAUSES EARTHQUAKES...i mean asshole. 

 

of course, my anger ,dear books is proof of your undeniable skills. the only other story to ever make me actualy yell out loud with anger at characters( yes i was yelling out loud at my computer sceen, and my child thinks i have lost my marbles) was..twilight itself.

i really hope you consider giving leah a happy ending..not that kind..happily ever after kind, like an imprinting maybe? on one of those european werewolves..a nice one :)  or someone else but for the love of god, not on a vampire.thats just wierd. besides it cant really be happily ever after if your lover vomits on you everytime he breathes in right?

Author's Response:

Hi there redsoxlove!

Hon, I think you're holding something back. Tell me how you really feel. I can take it. LOL. I loved your review. And I certainly can see why you might look at the situation that way. Edward is waking up to reality but he's also trying to cover his butt so he thinks that if he can just get Leah to stop treating Bella like trash and make Bella happy - then he wins. And if he can get Leah to grow up a little - she thinks that everything bad in her life is because of vampires (a debatable point, actually) - that she'll stop pressuring Bella to break up with him (or stay broken up). This is the guy who bruised Bella's face in HOD 2 in order to hide his tracks. He's not above doing things that are underhanded or cruel in order to reach his goal. In his mind, he tries to justify them as morally necessary. The point I do have to give him credit for in terms of character growth is that he does indeed truly mean it when he tells Leah that it is not her fault that Bella jumped. Leah sincerely believes that what she said at the funeral caused it - and as I showed a bit of in this chapter, Leah, like Edward watched Bella fall and was completely helpless to do anything about it. In my mind, Leah and Edward have a lot in common. And a lot that make them different as well. Edward thinks that by helping Leah, he's helping Bella, and in my mind, he really does show her compassion in trying to help her with her guilt. Leah is also a newborn wolf with emotions that are raging and irrational - so Edward decided being harsh with her at the end in terms of giving her choices was the only way to get her to comply. 

In my mind, all of those people surrounding Bella brought her back, not just Leah and Seth. It took their combined efforts. But I wanted to underscore that Edward did not have much to do with it. My friend the head shrinker told me that in order to bring her out of catatonia I had to put her in a room (or forest) with someone that she trusted. Hope that made sense. 

Edward will forever more lose the power to make Bella fall asleep, just so you know. I wanted that to be symbolic of her mental growth in strength while he was gone, but also to illustrate that he cannot "control" her like he once did. How inconvenient. Also, remember the last time Bella was speaking to Edward she was beating the beJesus out of him and calling him names. If she does that now, Edward and his family could get killed. So yeah, he's covering his butt, but he's also trying to protect his family. He wants to get Bella alone to explain things to her. Except she's in no shape to hear anything he has to say. Problem. That. 

While I do agree with your perspective on Edward (I think it's a great argument) I have to say I am surprised that you aren't mad at Leah. She said things that were absolutely horrifying to Bella and in many ways hurt her far more than Edward did. If you recall the flashback in this chapter - Bella tells Edward she never told the Clearwaters about Billy murdering her family because she couldn't live with herself if she caused their death. Bella believes that it's her fault her Grandparents and Great Uncle died. And Now after losing Henry in such a ghastly way, you know Bella has been wasting away physically and has been to multiple doctor visits and looks like death warmed over would be a step-up, Leah turns on her. From Bella's perspective, Sue and Harry were more parents to her than Renee and Charlie ever were. 

And I most definitely have good things in mind for Leah. You'll see her become stronger over the course of this story. Poor kid has been through hell. And to me it would be all kinds of icky to match her with a vampire, so I totally understand your fears on that issue. :)

As ever, thanks for putting such thought into my story. You made my day. :)

Books

Hi!

 

Thanks for the good words and the permission to consult Jugurtha.

 

I keep rating the chapters 9 out of 10 only because I feel I should reserve the 10s for something that would impress and surprise me much more than usual.Sadly, I think that would be almost impossible at this time because I've gotten used to how good your story is and am sort of taking it for granted. I would probably rate an equally good fanfic by an unfamiliar author 10.

 

Lovely chapter title, how picturesque.

 

As for Edward Not-a-Deranged-Stalker-at-all Cullen: I like how he struggles with the tangle of his thoughts, carefully stepping around some issues (like having been a serial killer) and worrying that his thoughts could be interpreted in an immoral way. Most of all I mean the part that starts with him seeing Bella's toothbrush and ends with "designed by Nature to appeal to my supernatural senses".

l noticed he thought "It would be worth my soul" at one moment - would it mean Edward now thinks of himself as having a soul after all, or does he mean if he could have his soul again? (Maybe his position was made clear in one of the other chapters, if so, I've forgotten.)

 

Talking to siblings is valuable indeed, and I thought your take on Alice entirely lovely this chapter. As characters go, she's probably three-and-a-half-dimensional now. I join Edward in appreciating her tact and patience; and I think you've touched some essential aspects of her character by describing how seeing the future but remembering no past would make a person feel. I realized I  hadn't  thought about this much before.

 

As usual, a lot of things made me laugh, starting with Edward's supportive "Oh, my". My other favorites include Edward considering "helping" Skeevy "work out" his issues "in a permanent manner", and the phrase about Genevieve and "the milk of inhuman vengeance". The red wagon of Tyler's little brother gave a wonderful finishing touch to Edward's overreactive plan. I also liked the paper cut and lemon juice line, and Edward calling himself "the sly bastard" (he's  not entirely wrong there), and the exchange between Emmett and Edward (-Edward, what in God's name are you doing? - I have no idea.)

It was interesting to learn about the aorta. You are, as ever, precise in describing what, and how, your characters feel. It definitely makes sense that Edward knows facts like this (twice, professionally).

 

I was delighted to encounter the words "nary [a word]" and "[in] ire".

 

The most lyrically beautiful line in this chapter and beyond, for me, was the one about the serenade of the evening rain combined with the sound of Bella's heart. Also, regarding Edward's memory of his parents' grave I think I'll have to resort to saying "Oh, my", because a lengthier discussion would probably not do it justice. I'll just say it is powerful.

 

Some debatable parts: I think "caught my eyes red-handed" is an awkward phrase because of the image of eyes that have hands. I understand what you mean, but it still sounds funny. The moving lights around Bella's head were a bit weird, too, but then they may be weird as part of the supernatural powers. The part where the lights speed up and gather around her head amused me because it reminded me of a computer processor humming louder while performing a difficult operation. Having a very high bodily temperature while not sweating is not good for the health, but then, nobody said talking to the dead was supposed to be healthy.

 

Any week now I'll reach chapters that I haven't actually read before and neglected for months.

 

Cheers,

 

Cavriola.

Author's Response:

Hi there Cavriola,

Thanks so much for your amazing reviews! I feel so spoiled. :) It really does help me to know which parts of a chapter stand out to you. And I'm delighted to know my play on words entertained you. I've been having so much fun with Edward's brain. I really did not like how Alice gets portrayed in most fanfics as a shop maniac who is insensitive to others, had no boundaries with their lives, interferes with Edward and Bella's sex life (which is, IMO beyond creepy), to name a few things that drive me up the wall. I wanted to try to show Alice in this story in a different way. I also wanted to show the evolution of Edward's relationships with all of his family members. At the beginning of the HOD his life really did exist around staying away from them as much as possible not only to give them privacy but in his mind, if he's not there, he cannot offend anyone and they won't ask him to leave. Then there's the fact that he's painfully isolated and lonely, and does not want anyone to know. I wanted to show Alice leaning on him for once and also to "show" that Edward has such little practice in comforting others - although he tries his best. A central theme to me of this story has been Edward's attempts at rediscovering his humanity. And I could think of little more painful than him going to his parents' graves thinking that it would somehow be some kind of holy beacon and feeling absolutely nothing. I can see your point about caught my eye red-handed. It's an idiom here in the States to say you caught a thief red-handed stealing something - hence the play on words with his eyes. The whole light dealio with Bella is supposed to be odd at first. I don't know that it will ever NOT be odd. And I had loads of fun with Edward um having an explosive temper. :)

Thanks for making me smile. 

Books

 

whats up with the talons tearing bella up - what did grace do?  and poor paula!  edward better get his schtick together, he's in for a rough ride!!!!

Author's Response:

Hi there anniebme!

Grace in her "real" form is actually scarier than she is in manta ray form. And her claws are razor sharp. Since she cannot make a bond with Bella's mind, she had to physically put her power in Bella to heal her. And yeah, it really hurt. Then she flew away with Bella and although she tried to be gentle, her claws cut into Bella's abdomen and hips. Jacob's too, but he instantly healed. The question I'll pose to you is this: what kind of side effects do you think might happen from this?

And you are most definitely right on Paula, And Edward will be coming out of his fog even more in the next chapter. Swear. Reality once it occurs to him is um really going to sting. 

:)

Thanks for the review, hon.

Best,

Books

 

you managed new moon in just a few chapters and its from edward!  nicely done!

Author's Response:

Thank you! I kinda sorta wanted to show Edward literally going insane and not being aware of it. Poor guy.

:)

Books

great, just great!  and i thought the chapter back was my favorite...

Author's Response:

Thanks so much anniebme, and dang woman, you read fast. :)

Books

this was probably my favorite chapter thus far.  i liked how the rest of the night unfolded and how the family (including all extended members) is understanding of his predicament although the use of hez's stick sure comes in handy.  also, eddie and bella alone in his house - yay!  great, looking forward to more!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much anniebme!

I wanted to "show" that Bella really does struggle with the idea that she took a life. That it hits her hard. Book Bella was awfully cavalier about things that I felt she should not have been. And to me, Edward having his own house away from the family so he would have a place to go when they told him to leave - a house he had maintained - illustrated just how bad off Edward is. Thanks for the review. :)

i pretty much have kept my seatbelt on since chapter 8.

Author's Response:

Thanks for making me smile, anniebme. And hang onto that seatbelt. :) *evil grin*

Books

Hello there, dear booksgalore!

 

Another chapter which I have read sometime in December. I had imagined it would be too boring to reread it all again, but once I started I discovered that, well, it wasn't. It shows how much I've managed to forget, but most of all, I think, how sparkly and fun your narrative is.

Lovely pictures.

Nice "unbreakable glass door" effect. It felt very right that using the powers made Edward's head hurt. There has to be balance. I suppose it would be much more difficult to accept the "superpowers" if everything happened easily and without consequences. I used to dislike Edward's shaman powers, but now I've gotten used to them; also, you show them in an interesting way, and in a situation like this (where Edward needed to keep a raging non-stinky wolf from fighting long enough to talk to her) they were extremely useful.

I liked the tea line of Horatio St. James. It has such a lovely air of antiquity about it.

The scheduling of the death of Billy Black continues to rock.

"The punk there with the glowing eyes" and his inner Greek chorus are as entertaining as ever. Chess sounds fun ;). "My life is a graveyard of buried hopes" made me laugh. I also especially liked the one about lurking, in graveyards and elsewhere.

I think I caught a typo (don't know if it matters, though). It is in the phrase about Carlisle often looking at bodies "very-well-persevered-for-their-mortal-age". I've usually read it used with "preserved". The version you have is interesting, too.

Do you think it would be cheating (regarding Lent) if I occasionally borrowed Jugurtha to help me with my schedule?

All the best - and goodbye for now. :)

Cavriola

 

Author's Response:

Hello there Cavriola!

I always look forward to your reviews - thanks for much for sharing your thoughts with me. You are heading towards the part of the story that I like the most so I will be all kinds of interested in what you have to say then as well. :)

I will never write Edward's use of the powers as being something that is easy. A main theme of the story is that power requires sacrifice. And Edward will always find that using them comes at a cost. Also, I don't see them as superpowers, although I can see why others would. I see them as these abilities that are almost like electricity that is out of control. He has no idea what they are and how to use them. And Hezekiah can't really be as much help as he would like because Edward is not a shapeshifter, so they really are fumbling in the dark. Many times the use of them surprises Edward because he could do something but can't replicate it. I liked the idea of there being a wolf that did not have a scent - one that they did not know about because Edward was so arrogant in his abilities that it did not occur to him to search harder. I wanted to show his hubris. 

I had fun with Horatio and that story line. In my mind Edward thinks at the beginning of HOD that he is role playing - engaging in brilliant acting pretending that he is shy, when in fact, he is not. It's just in his mind you can't get in trouble if you do not open your mouth. And what you see with Horatio St. James is that Edward is dead wrong. In his mortal life he was painfully shy. 

I can't claim the "my life is a graveyard of buried hopes," line, although I loved borrowing it. If you've read Anne of Green Gables, whenever something happens that young Anne finds bewildering she says that line. 

I am always grateful if you find any kind of mistake and point it out to me. I do go back and edit every chapter even after they are posted to search for mistakes, but also to remind myself of the plot. So I will fix that error, thanks for pointing it out. I did not have a beta for the first eight chapters and have been going back in and finding mistakes that horrify me. :) 

In regards to Lent, the rules are that you give up something that is a vice for 40 days (you get Sundays off). And Jugurtha would like me to tell you that he is most definitely not a vice - although he could be if you wanted him to. He would love to aid you in organizing your life. His book is open for you. :)

Many thanks!

 

Books