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Reviewer: ali208 (Signed) · Date: April 09, 2011 05:01 PM · On: The Epilogue
I loved your story. I am sorry that I haven't written a review before I was to enthrawled in reading it. I think that this was a much better way to end things. As SM did leave things kinda open ended. I enjoyed your writing style and creativity, I wish I could write as well as you. I wish SM could write as well as you. I hope you continue to write.
Author's Response: Thanks for the stars! Glad this tale made an impact - and I grinned at your compliments. :-) And yes, I've been working on a tale set in the Bella and Edward Show universe. Which of course means canon... and POST Breaking Dawn by a lot of years. It is dark... and still has a way to go before I start sending the chapters in for publication.
Reviewer: Pikapuff (Signed) · Date: March 24, 2011 04:36 PM · On: The Epilogue
Loved this story - what a wonderful take on a much more exciting, and complete ending. I love that there weren't any loose ends, and that everything was totally canon. Well done!
Author's Response: Thanks Pikapuff... glad you enjoyed it! I'm going to assume you didn't stumble upon this tale and that it was recommended - so, I'm glad you gave my tale a shot! :-)
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 22, 2011 07:32 PM · On: The Shield
An additional, as it was oversighted.
Author's Response: LOL... yeah, you must have been rolling your eyes at that. :-) Thanks for the stars - glad you enjoyed 99.9% of it!
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 22, 2011 07:31 PM · On: The Shield
I actually really liked the story, and it was an oversight on my part to leave no stars. I apologize for that. As for the tryst with Felix, I definitely would have enjoyed it.
You have to cater to the readers of course, and they would have wanted that part. So it wasn't bad, just my opinion.
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 22, 2011 04:32 AM · On: The Epilogue
"The leader appears to be a male but he defers to the redhead you asked me to observe. I'm not sure if this is important, but the redhead is a lesbian... and definitely has some sort of sway over the five other females. She actually makes use of them on a rotating basis." -- :(
This is basically only complaint about the whole thing. It was unnecessary, I guess -- to label it. You could have had the same impact without the labels, I think. I guess I am just disappointed with the predictability of that, when everything else was so spot-on.
Overall, I really enjoyed it. You probably could have broken the epi into several more chapters, and I realize how difficult it is to bring these things to a close. They sort of take on a life of their own.
All in all, completely impressive and a great alternate ending.
Author's Response: Well, it's too bad that part put a sour taste in your mouth - because it more than likely ruined the whole story for you. Your the first person that complained about that... other than my wife, so I'll basically respond to you the same way I responded to her. Oh well...
You probably would have preferred my original idea that was supposed to go here. I was going to have a wrestling match between Emmett and Felix. Really. :-)
The one thing I was surprised about was the fact that you read all ten chapters, and didn't leave a star rating in a single one. Then maybe that works to my benefit, given the lack of stars my Epilogue would have received. Like I said - oh well...
Thanks for reading and reviewing! :-)
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 21, 2011 07:35 PM · On: The Aftermath
I love love love the Charlie moment! I could never have one of those myself, and I am in awe and quite sure, this is exactly how I would have wanted it. :) Yay! For his happy ending.
Now, as for Renee. I cannot put her in, no matter how much I try? She just doesn't work for me at all. I completely boycotted her altogether in the first, and she is equally nonexistent in the second. heh.
But THANK YOU for the Charlie moment.
Author's Response: I was pleased with the way the Charlie segment came off... I can understand what you meant regarding Rene - but you can only blame SM for the way you feel about her. :-)
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 21, 2011 07:07 PM · On: The Proposal
Haha! Where was Jake when they were doing all thise joking? I really can't imagine him having been far, and I think he would definitely have something to say about Nessie taking a trip.
Author's Response: Jake was already heading back to the Reservation. :-)
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 21, 2011 06:39 PM · On: The Battle!
I'm glad they got the battle that SM left out. I feel one coming of my own, but I just don't know how I will get through it without any of the good-guys dying. :( I do wish there would have been a little more detail in regards to Jane, and I had sort of hoped she would get to fight Bella -- but I understand why she couldn't. She isn't exactly a 'fighter"
As for loosing readers -- you really shouldn't worry over that. A lot of readers look at the first chapter, and if they don't see any signs of a lemon, they don't bother reading it. Sad truth. It's into chapter 2, and the readers you pull into it, that you will find your dedicated crowd. :)
Author's Response: Hmmm... No way I could justify a Bella - Jane fight. She had to be taken out before the get go... and only Jasper could do this. To be honest, I was praying for an Emmett - Felix fight. Unfortunately, I couldn't get swing it. Keep that in mind when I respond to your comments regarding my epilogue. :-)
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 21, 2011 06:17 PM · On: The Sacrifice
Ah -- are you actually giving us the battle we missed???!!
Author's Response: Yes, it most certainly looks that way, doesn't it? :-)
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 21, 2011 06:03 PM · On: The Strategy
eeeee. I'm a little scared to see how you play Edward. I always get a little concerned where he is involved. It's so different seeing things this way -- entirely plausible.
Author's Response: Yeah, I'll admit, I'm not into doing Edward's POV either... and that was why I took the easy way out and used him more as a plot device than anything else. Jasper needed to contact Edward in chapter 6 and there was nothing really difficult regarding Edward's POV in chapter 8. Glad you are still enjoyin it to this point...
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2011 07:13 PM · On: The Romanians
Love this side of Jasper, and I am excited to see what happens next. It's interesting to think about the possibilities that were happening behind Edward and Bella's back. I guess when I was reading SM's books, I was so enamored with them that I forgot about the others. This is actually great. :)
Author's Response: So happy you are enjoying it! Thank you for reviewing! Jasper is awesome and it would be just like Alice and him to work something like this behind Edward's (practically everyone's back!) I bet Maria's presense came as a surprise, huh? :-)
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2011 06:53 PM · On: The Decision
I'm curious to see what Alice will see that will change her mind in bringing Nahuel. I'm also pretty sure I am in for a late night, because I want to read more. heh.
Author's Response: Remember, Alice couldn't see Nahuel... and she only speculated as to Aro using Nahuel's sisters:
"Nahuel's sisters!" Alice suddenly cried out. "I couldn't see Nahuel in the vision, but he must have mentioned his sisters during his testimony and I bet they used them as shields against my vision."
"Very perceptive, Alice… it makes sense that Aro would have gained this knowledge when he read Edward. We need to inform Nahuel and Huilen that their witness is no longer required, and it will be wise for Nahuel to continue shielding until this is over."
The knowledge I'm referring to is Edward's knowledge of Alice not being able to see Renesmee because she being a hybrid. The decision not to bring Nahuel was Jasper's decision. First, he was concerned about his and Hulien's safety, and two, he knew having Nahuel travel with them would risk them not seeing a change in plans... or something happening back at the Cullen compound.
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2011 06:34 PM · On: The Amazons
I love Jasper for different reasons, but I really like how you have captures this side of them. You are quite handy with the dialogue as well. Looking forward to more :)
Author's Response: Thanks! Given how incredible I feel your writing is, a compliment from you goes a long way. I always felt SM under-utilized Jasper's character during BD. I made it a mission to rectify that in my story. :-)
Reviewer: CarrieW (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2011 06:11 PM · On: The Shield
I was a little concerned at your choice of POV, but I am actually really interested to see how this is going to play out. Ahh, happy Kate. I am a bit of a sucker for romance :)
Author's Response: Selecting POVs can be frightening. Garrett and especially Jasper, were easy... but I struggled over whether I would select Tanya or Kate. I guess Tanya's previous obsession with Edward pushed me towards Kate, despite the fact that Kate and Garrett fall in love during BD. Hope you are too disappointed with how they play out. :-)
Reviewer: willyjoe (Signed) · Date: December 03, 2010 12:55 AM · On: The Epilogue
I absolutely loved this story! You are a very talented writer and I am very much looking forward to reading other stories you have written.
Author's Response: Glad you found it enjoyable to the end! :-) Thanks for the compliements!
Reviewer: willyjoe (Signed) · Date: December 03, 2010 12:22 AM · On: The Aftermath
Such a great story. Thank you for sharing it!
Author's Response: :-)
Reviewer: willyjoe (Signed) · Date: December 02, 2010 11:24 PM · On: The Battle!
Still great!
Reviewer: willyjoe (Signed) · Date: December 02, 2010 10:39 PM · On: The Strategy
I love how this story explains all the holes in breaking dawn! Excellant, can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: Thanks! When an author doesn't tie loose ends up - it leaves us readers hungering for more, so this was one of my goals, so thank you for noticing.
Reviewer: idealskeptic (Signed) · Date: November 10, 2010 01:34 PM · On: The Epilogue
This was much closer to the way the end of Breaking Dawn should have happened. I read it in two sittings, because I had to sleep, after all, and I loved it! I'm sorry you lost readers, I really don't know why that would be. But rest assured, you've got a fan in me.
Now I'm off to see if you've written anything else yet!
Thanks for sharing.
Author's Response: Thanks again for your comments! I'm glad you enjoyed it and I appreciate the stars! I agree with you... my version works better (and it's Hollywood friendly in addition!)
Reviewer: idealskeptic (Signed) · Date: November 10, 2010 01:09 PM · On: The Aftermath
May I quote you?
Edward continued. "Jasper already had his own hunger to deal with... and it takes a certain amount of willpower for him to refrain. But add the fact that he could feel my singer's hunger as well. It was magnified to an unbelievable point... and when Bella got a mere paper cut, it not only sparked his own bloodlust, but my siren bloodlust as well."
That explanation really & truly needed to be in the book! I've always gone with the idea that Jasper felt his entire family's thirst but "singer's hunger" and "siren bloodlust" are so much more than that. It's the perfect explanation & a missed opportunity in the books.
It's almost like Edward wasn't so much protecting Bella from Jasper when he threw her against the table (and spilled more blood) as he was saying "Mine, mine, mine!" and protecting his singer's blood for himself.
Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but that is the best way I've ever seen it put!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your observation... and I don't think you are reading too much into it - for certainly it makes sense! I will admit, though, that I read a theory similar to this in a tale at another site, and although they didn't explain it exactlly as I did, it did provide me the insight to come to my conclusion. You just took it a valid step further in providing what Edward felt during the attack. :-)
Reviewer: kycee (Signed) · Date: October 24, 2010 11:42 AM · On: The Epilogue
I liked your ending Better than SM's. They way she left the threat of the Volturi over the Cullens head, knowing she had no intention of ever following up on the story, never sat right with me. In SM's world, the Volturi would have left that day and started planning how to defeat the Cullen's. Aro would not take his humilation in front of so many, lightly. I thought your ending was well thought out and gave attention to so many intersting characters that we only got a glimpse of in the original books. Thanks for sharing.
Author's Response: Thanks for the great review... I appreciate it! Yes, I agree with you one hundred percent, otherwise i wouldn't have felt compelled to write this tale. :-)
Reviewer: sdcullen (Signed) · Date: October 10, 2010 08:05 PM · On: The Epilogue
This was fantastic! Please write more stories!
Author's Response: Thanks for the note and stars! Writing more stories is very time consuming. I'm amazed at some of these very long sagas - for this 55,000 plus word tale here took a tremendous amount out of me. :-) It makes me appreciate all these other authors more! Thanks again!
Reviewer: mommakat (Signed) · Date: October 10, 2010 06:42 PM · On: The Epilogue
Hi again! I had to finish reading this- today lol. I didn't find fault, I did find it believable and you did a great job! Again, thank you very much for sharing and I have you on author alert!
Kathryn
Author's Response: Well, your welcome again... and thanks again, for more stars! Glad this hit a homerun with you! :-)
Reviewer: mommakat (Signed) · Date: October 10, 2010 03:23 PM · On: The Battle!
I'm so sorry to hear you lost readers after the first chapter. I think your story is wonderfully written, stays in canon, and I'm so glad I found it. Thank you for sharing it!
Kathryn
Author's Response: Thanks Kathryn, I appreciate your words and the stars! :-)
Reviewer: kayariley (Signed) · Date: October 10, 2010 09:14 AM · On: The Epilogue
The parts with Charlie made me cry!
Author's Response: Thanks for the note and the confession. I found myself quite emotional when I wrote it as well... even when I recently proof read it. Grammatically, I'll be making a few changes, but it will remain just as emotional. Thanks for letting me know. :-)
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