You are cracking me up!!! I love this chapter, I am looking forward to reading more!!!

Author's Response:

*SQUEE* I'm glad you loved chapter 1. It's a pretty big hook. The next few chapters are a little quieter as I set things up, but down the road you will be rolling on the floor again from time to time. Promise. I hope you continue to enjoy. Let me know what you think.

Thanks for taking the time to review. Keep in touch.

-bannerday

Awesome and hoooootttttt!!!!

I heart Emmett!!  He's hysterical!

Author's Response:

Hi manda! I was fully expecting readers to be all cranky because of the cockblock factor, but almost everyone had great things to say. Must be the fact that Emmett was the cockblocker. It's so hard to be angry with Emmett. We all heart him! Glad you enjoyed the hotness. Edward is really heating up. It took him three years to thaw out, and suddenly he's heating up and going to boil over shortly. I love me an unravelling edward. GAH!!!!!!

Thanks for the review. Keep in touch.

-bannerday

James has me kind of worried....he keeps cropping up and with Edward out of the loop, the could be bad news for Bella.  Can't wait for Edward to see the red dress....could be a 4-alarm fire, completely out of control!! lol

Author's Response:

James has lots of us worried, spunk, including me. He just won't go away. He's a nightmare. He's a recurring nightmare. And Edward is not going to be happy about being left out of the loop.

I think a 4-alarm fire, going completely out of control, impossible to contain, licking high into the sky, consuming everything in its path, until everything has been laid to waste and finally there is only smoking and smoldering, sounds like the perfect end to a date with Scorchward. I think the damn fine swanky fort may vaporize. :)

Thanks for the reviewaroo, spunkaroo!

-bannerday

haha!!this chap ws wonderful!

so thngs r heating up at last!!...bt its al worth the waiting!

 it ws so funny-tht smal 'o' tht emmett's mouth formed!

keep it up!

hope it wil only get betr aft this

Author's Response:

puja! I'm surprised at you! You got all wordy on me and everything. I guess you just needed a little warming up with the heating up. So you liked Emmett's 'o' mouth, did you? Me too - I get the funniest mental image.

Thanks for the review. 5 lines...I was shocked at you! ;)

-bannerday

I have to tell you that The Transfer is by far my favorite fan fic so far. Whenever i see that you have updated and added a new chapter, i squeal, just like our lil pixie alice... Your story is one  in a million...SF would be proud to have you write E & B the way you have. Thank you so much for sharing your brilliant mind.

I did think that the dress was going to be deep blue...but I like the red idea... a lot...soooooooo waiting for the "DATE" night...

Bannerday.... you ROCK!!!!! keep up the incredible story...

I will be, as well as many more, waiting for more of your creation.

By the way...this is my first review i have posted on any fan fic story... :)

Author's Response:

Thanks so much kiviern04! I squeed all over myself when I read your review. I feel honored to hold your number one fan fic spot. I try to keep things canon, just a little older and more worldly. but I like to keep references sprinkled in from the original, and I try to stay true to personality tyupe and the kinds of things various characters would do and say.

So, the dress is red, but keep the deep blue thing in mind. You'll see what I mean next chapter. Since I'm your first review ever and you'll never be a virgin again, here's a little hint just for you:  For the deep blue, think "stuff", "inner stuff". It's enough to drive a boy crazy when you've got good inner stuff going on. :)

Thanks for the review, the love, the kind words, the compliments, and your fanfic review cherry. ;)

Keep in touch

-bannerday

 

Feel the burn baby! LOL  Nice make out sesh!  And the outfit sounds kick ass!  Nice chapter!

Author's Response:

It's a slowly smoldering sort of burn. With humor...that's the odd thing. There's more make out sessions to...come. Wait til Edward sees that hot little outfit on our Miss Fire Bomb. Thanks for the compliment and the review.

-bannerday

Ha, the magic 8-ball once more proves to be the one true oracle: 1,000 reviews for you!

Will there be a candle for ambience at our date in the dining hall?

Now I'm responsible for the loss of your vagina too? Well, that gives 'the vagina monologues' new meaning and adds a new chapter: "The night I lost bannerday" in which a vagina describes how it went out to get drunk after it lost its home and ended up knocking back gin with an ass. I wonder which bar serves vaginas and asses?
I hope it won't end with you laughing your hands off. All the other readers might want to stone me if you can't write anymore and I don't think that'll be as funny as it was in 'The life of Brian'.

A lot of my favs are the same as yours: Loner, Just wait, Edward Wallbanger...haven't checked out The naked guy upstairs yet. Also I'm reading Hit by destiny by ocdmess and High anxiety by EdwardsBloodType. And then there's also this great fic called The transfer.. ;)  My three favs (so far)...I'm gonna go with 'Master of the universe', 'How to save a life' and 'The tutor'.
I don't really write. I've done one one-shot, cause I wanted to try out my writer's legs and because I thought 'you can't just read and take, you gotta give back something as well. Writers want to read too'. It was okay, but I don't have any plans of writing anything anytime soon. I lack plot ideas. But thank you for the compliment, it's almost made me blush :)

But now to the new chapter:

It didn't matter that I'd almost missed getting to my first class as well; my bigger concern was that I wouldn't see Bella until this evening.   ...Gah! got his priorities in the right order ;)  Maybe taking a picture with his cell to have something to tide him over in situations like this one could be an idea. A pale replica is better than nothing at all.

Since Jasper and Alice broke up with Edward, is Alice going out with Bella a clever disguised attempt at stealing her, so that she'll take his place?

With the red dress and the black shoes..there'll be danger of spontaneous combustion. The coat might be of great importance.

I had to keep a lid on things a little longer. Edward, you're barely able to manage the brakes, another responsibility is the last thing you need. It's like wanting a puppy when you can't even take care of a gold fish.

James is back, and he's obviously hasn't lost his ass. In fact, he's an about 6 foot tall ass dressed up as a human being. “I’d be happy to help you figure out what to do with what you’ve got."..next time he tries anything, I hope Bella has a well-aimed knee to the groin for him. Now that's the kind of situation pepper spray was invented for. And if she sprays him, Alice can make sure that all the baby shampoo in the area has been bought already (Harharhar). Someone (and by someone I mean Gah!) is going to be awfully mad when he finds out. Cute boy and his sidekick McKilt, the Texan Scotsman shall wipe the floor with The Evil Ass.

"You are, Bella.” I tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear and smoothed her hair over her shoulder. “I wouldn't let someone who was just a friend sit on me like this." I grinned at her.
She laughed but blushed wonderfully as well. "Not even Jasper?"
I almost choked. But then I recovered quickly. "Only when he's upset and crying and needs a good hug."
With or without kilt?

And a hair reference! Nice! :)

Emmett saved the brakes. The cockblocker! This was well on the way to more than "Oh fuck yeah!". Although, there was some banging..

"Edward, do you fucking realize …that you fucking said "fuck"…to your fucking brother… at least eight fucking times just then?"...subconscious wishful thinking? I mean not with Emmett, of course. You know what I mean.

As for the lid, after the 'lying there, kissing and see where it goes' I'll dedicate this to it: http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=9OgFUojXgNw

Hopefully Bella annihilates Emmett when they play Wii. That'll teach him. ;)

Until next time :)

Author's Response:

Sandra, dear. Dear, dearest Sandra.

No reader has ever written me a review in the form of a shortstory before. I love it. If our relationship continues, I assume you'll be writing me full blown novels by the time my story ends. (Don't worry, we've got chapters and chapters to go.)

So, yup, got my 1,000 reviews. Next goal: 2,000 reviews or 40,000,000,000 words worth of reviews, whichever comes first, Judging by the length of your missives, we'll hit the 40,000,000,000 mark in a few chapters. YIPPEE!!!!

I do so love your reviews. They make me roll. Than I get up and go scouting for missing body parts. And don't worry, even should I get to the point where I lose my hands and they take off for parts unknown, I will still manage to write. Think the Black Knight in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". I'll manage somehow.

Yes, candle light in the dining hall. You. Me. Nuff said. Keep this in mind as you read chapter 32 once it goes up. (Hopefully before the weekend.)

You know, quite often it turns out that vaginas wind up sitting in bars and pounding drinks with asses. My vagina and I have been there with those asses. In those instances, a little less of the booze would have done me a world of good.

I'm going to plan on reading your faves and top picks. I've got time now that it's summer. Thanks for the suggested reading list.

Gah! already has pix of Bella on his phone. they probably make him sweat and lead his mind to wander into cranial bedrooms: Jasper and Alice took pictures of him and Bella the night of the Ticklefest/Movienight and sent them to Edward's phone. There were pix of him straddling her. You know he looks at that often. I've got to mention that in a chapter. Hadn't thought about it. See, you give me good ideas. You're my muse now.

Bella's outfit should be quite the fuel for the flame. And thank goodness for the coat. She can peel that thing off and cover him with it as he stops, drops and rolls upon combusting. Without the coat, she'd have to peel off the dress and try to use that, and poor Sparky would be burned to a crisp instantly. Not a HEA for this little fic. So the coat is a necessary preemptive measure.

The lid that Edward is attempting to keep on things is an ill-fitting lid with no means of secure attachment. It's the kind of lid that will go flying off at the least little bit of percolating, steaming and boiling. But the poor boy means well. He has good intentions. They are parked right behind his lust-filled intentions.

The Evil Ass is a nightmare. A recurring nightmare. It may take more than Cute Boy and his sidekicks, McKilt the Texan Scotsman and the Wii Wonder. It may take the whole gang to get rid of this Ass: Bella using her pepper spray, Rose tying that satin ribbon tightly around his neck, Alice ripping his head off, Edward going ballistic and taking a baseball bat to him, and Emmett holding him down while all this is going on. Oh yeah, and Jasper driving over his remains in the Clown Car. That's going to be quite a chapter. For all of us.

"With or without kilt?" Isn't that pretty much the same, given what's worn, or more accurately not worn, under a kilt?

The Hair will make an appearance on date night. It's actually the seventh main character. The Hair needs a girlfriend, now that everyone else is coupled up. Actually, after you read next chapter, you'll see that The Hair is coupled up with the Nails.

There was banging, but it involved Emmett. Not Edward's preferred type of banging in any of the preferred positions. Oh well, a future chapter awaits.

I think since Edward and Bella aren't yet doing it, they should at least be able to talk about a blue streak of fuckity-fucks. Eventually they'll DO the blue streak of fuckity-fucks.

Enjoyed the lid with Hugh Laurie.

Read you soon, Sandra. As ever, thanks for the guffaws, giggles, chuckles and chortles.

Your fan,

-bannerday

 

 

Their own damn candle! I knew it!

SQUEE!!! I love that he quoted her naughtiness back at her!

I'd say they need new pads or shoes or whatever it is brakes need... Damn and Holy Hell, indeed! ;)

Breathe, Jess! Talk about gushing... Of course, this IS Edward Cullen we're talking about.

I wanna go shopping with Alice! You have no idea how badly my wardrobe needs a makeover. What am I saying... I need a complete wardrobe overhaul!

So glad I got the alert for the next chapter... Who needs sleep, right?!

Author's Response:

ladyrip! You saw that coming, did you? Their own damn candle. Everybody needs one! Edward can do naughty as well as he can quote naughty. Verbatim.

Brakes, schmakes, I say. Let the careening out of control begin!

You liked Jess' gushing non-stop tirade about the wonders of Edward Cullen, didja? So easy to gush about the Gah!

I'll have Alice give you a call later and the two of you can set something up regarding shopping. Drink plenty of Red Byull beforehand. And a bowl of sugar wouldn't hurt either.

Glad you made the right choice and chose to read chapter 31 over sleep.  Sleep, schmeep! ;)

-bannerday

huahauhauahuahuahuahuaa..... Emmett hahaha he's juz being Emmett the "rescuer" whenever u need it! luv this chapter so very much... and Edward's endless effing rant.... =)) well done!

Author's Response:

Hi noni! Glad you liked that last chapter. I got a kick out of it, although I know some readers want to kick me now. Or Emmett. He does have a way of popping up at inopportune moments. Edward was quite cranky about the brakes being applied so forcibly right when he had been ready to throw them in the trashcan. His brain to mouth filter was shortcircuiting quite a bit too. ;) I love an unraveling Edward.

Thanks for taking the time to review. Keep in touch.

-bannerday

i think the only one that is annoying is bella...they were barely getting anywhere just kissing and she thinks its getting out of hand...poor edward...the last time he had sex was three yrs ago...how unfair...his fault but still unfair...poor guy he is too nice lol

Author's Response:

I know exactly what you're saying, grumpbear. If I'd been playing the part of Bella in that chapter things would have ended quite differently. I would have definitely thrown the brakes in the trashcan. Then I would have gotten up from the bed briefly, and answered the door, grabbing Emmett by his Wii and bringing him back to join Edward and me on the bed. That might be too much for them to deal with, they're brothers after all. Shit, now I might have to go back and re-write previous chapters so my fantasy can play out without anything that resembles any type of incestuous activity. Oh well, I had nothing else to do today, might as well screw with this alternate universe. ;)

But you are right, poor Edward, the only person he's had sex with these past three years has been himself. Timne to mix it up a little. Don't worry, Bella's going to come around. (Nice play on words, there, if I do say so myself.)

Thanks for the review.

-bannerday

i wonder what will happen with james, and how the date will go? im so excited to see his reaction to bella's outfit!!

Author's Response:

James doesn't seem gone, does he, delilah? Nope, he just doesn't. Hmmm. The date? It will be a good one. it's with Edward Cullen for goodness' sake! You will adore his reaction to her outfit. I hope. ;)

Thanks for reviewing again,

-bannerday

Awesomeness... now that they broke the seal, more smoochies to come?!

Author's Response:

Yep, the broken seal has sealed the deal. More smoochies to come. There's no avoiding the smoochies once you give in. Hope you continue to enjoy.

-bannerday

Is it wrong to say that was kind of hot?!??

Author's Response:

Well, the Skittles/M & M's bedfoodfight was kind of hot to begin with, then there's something about a man coming unglued to defend your honor that is hot. Very hot. Especially when it's someone who usually seems so gentle and reserved. Hotward. (*sigh*) (*drool*) (*puddle*)

Thanks for reviewing once again,

-bannerday