I am seriously going to find you and beat you down with a Dr. Seuss book. I thought I had gone through Delicious torture before? It was a joke. This is like Edward making Bella be ON THE EDGE of COMING and being taken off again, just to be brought back. It's so mean, but it FEELS SO GOOD! Can't believe you ended it there. I'm still in shock. It took me a while to be able to type this review. I must congratulate you though, because you have now officially shocked me, Sexual Innuendo girl, into shocked stupor.

Damn, that was a good chapter. :OOOOOOOOO MY JAW DROPPED WIDEEEE OPEN. Aheheheeh. Just, wow. You better update quick, girlie! I'm serious this time!!!!!! PLEASEEEEEE!! I"M BEGGING YOU TO!!

Author's Response:

Hi HBoH!

I do not like green eggs and ham, wouldn't want to be beaten by a fan.

I just like reviews and such, but fan girl beatings, not so much. ;)

It's just rrreeeaaallllyy HARD for Bella and Edward to find Alione Time without some parent or friend or sibling COMING around to bother them and interrupt. But they're in the shower now, the door is locked, and surely, SOMETHING GOOD WILL COME OF IT!!!!!

Sorry about your chapter 41 stupor. Hopefully chapter 42 will revive you, only to leave you PANTING,and SATISFIED.

Glad you liked the chapter. I probably won't be able to update until the weekend. RL is going to be crazy this week.

Thanks for the review and the sexual innuendo, SIGirl!

-bannerday

OK, so I lied, I snuck on here and read a chapter anyway! And now I'm crying - with laughter! I have to go shopping for a pink camisole as I wouldn't want to be caught out if Jasper paid me a visit! It would go quite well with his skilt!

I'm too shallow to comment on most of this chapter, I love the boys hanging out (not literally, well, if you like), and I really don't see Jasper minding if Emmett pimps him out.

Ooooh, you've gone all poetic too! I'm gonna give that some thought.

It's well after midnight so I guess I'm not reading anymore tonight. No, seriously! Goodnight or whatever wherever you are.

Isabel

Author's Response:

Oh, you're such a naughty, naughty girl. I'm sending Edward right over to give you a spanking, just unchain him and send him back when you're through having him. (---over, when you're through having him over)

Sorry to send you to bed in tears, at least it was tears of laughter.

I'm so mad I didn't think of calling Jasper's skirt/kilt a skilt about 20 chapters ago. ;) I guess I just was waiting for you to come along for that gem.

The boys hanging out, I love getting them all together. Emmett and Jasper really have some pearls of wisdom for Edward sometimes. ;)

I guess we're on opposite sides of the world. I'm in California. Where are you? I love that something like this draws people together worldwide. It's like we're at one giant planetary fan-fic convention.  Everyday, all day for some of us. At least until summer is over and we have to go back to teaching.

Thanks again for reviewing. Nighty night.

-bannerday

Yeah, go and hide, because you're just too good at telling a story!!!! Unexpected, much! That's life though.

I'm wondering if lovely Dr. Cullen is involved in Jake and Billy's care?

'Cause I've got a thing for Carlisle (All the Cullen men actually, but especially Carlisle). I kept thinking, ring your Dad, Edward. Go on, you know you want to. I'm hoping he runs her to Forks himself anyway.

No climbing up on that bed! It sure as hell won't take three!! And you can't hide there!

                     Isabel

Author's Response:

Hi Isabel, it's me, your stalker/author acquaintance...possible friend, if we continue this review/reply relationship . I quit hiding. I figured that it would be too hard to write the story in my hiding place. (Under the desk, where the dog likes to camp out. It's too hard to write off of the laptop, and then the dog keeps throwing in his two cents about the direction the story should be taking, and the fact that Edward should just go ahead and buy Bella a puppy to seal the deal. I told the dog if he would just shut up, I might take him out for exercise later on this afternoon.)

I'm sorry to say that Carlisle doesn't work at the same hospital where Billy is. Still, he'll be back down the line in connection with someone else in the story. Can't say more.

Dammit! I'm going to hide up on the bed if I want to. And just to make sure it's safe, I'm going to push that Bella bitch off. So it's just me and the big yummy guy. *le sigh*

Thanks again for the smiles.

-bannerday

Lovely! Yeah, leave them in the parking lot. lol

Lots of people get Alice, and Emmett butts in anyway, but I love your Jasper. Maybe because my lot are all crazy. He's deliciously inappropriate!

They are very talented too. One being a Big Sis, brother and resident advisor, the other being a Scotsman, crazy and a gay boyfriend, as well as them both being five years old and parents!! lol

The rose is very sweet, can't wait to see where they go. Oh, yeah, I don't have to wait! Onwards!!!!

Author's Response:

Hi again, OCDV!

Glad you love my Jasper. I think Steph Meyer didn't do enough with him. He's kind of evolved through the fan fics instead. But I envision a blond-haired, sexy, slightly stoner guy, smart, a little kinky, and fun. And he just adores his little pumpkin pie, or rootbeer float, or ladybug, or sweetie pants, or whatever the heck name of the moment he chooses to call Alice!

Glad you love the deliciously inappropriateness of Jasper. There's some good stuff coming out about him and Alice in chapter 40. *wink, wink*

Loved your summary of all that Emmett and Jasper have been to this story. Good recall!

Thanks again for the entertainment.

You'll be happy to know that the dog used the facilities. Good boy!!

Hear from you soon. and you'll hear from me again, because I have more of your reviews to laugh at and respond to.

-bannerday

pahahahahaha! that was great! keep it up!

Author's Response:

Glad you enjoyed the chapter. I hope you're laughing at the entire chapter, and not just giggling at poor Edward and the tricky situation he's suddenly got going on. Poor guy. At some point he's got to set those towels down. ;)

Next chapter should be up vvery shortly. Thanks for the review.

-bannerday

Am I the only one who's thirsty. When am I getting my tall glass of lemonade? Lol glad they're ok.

Author's Response:

Sorry, girlfriend, don't mean to be making you get your parch on, here. Next chapter is still building up more tension. But Edward gets to have a father/son chat---you know how much he would enjoy something like that; hmmm, wonder what Carlisle would have to say??? E also messes with Jasper's and Emmett's minds, and plants the seeds of prankdom. And there's more Edward meltdown as he tries to control himself around a mostly-nekkid Bella. (But only because there are other people watching.)

I'll try to whet your whistle a bit in the following chapter. (42)

Thanks for the review and the giggle, Yrollam!

-bannerday

Shit! Life just gets in the way of your story! I hate waiting for updates, but I'm almost looking forward to getting to that stage so I can have my life back.

Great job! - my family hate you! The dog hates you! -she's been crossing her legs for a couple of hours now

Author's Response:

I really had to laugh when I read this review earlier in the day. My own dog was sitting here, for quite a while, as I read reviews and began writing replies to some of them, then got side-tracked working on continuing the newest update, then checked my email, then read an update for a favorite story, then realized the dog was still sitting here, staring at me hopefully, wondering if he'd be allowed to pee at some point.

Glad you are enjoying the story. Sorry that your are so obsessed with it that you are ignoring RL. Welcome to my world. I think I'm still married, but haven't spoken to that guy recently. I promise I will, just as soon as I finish the next chapter.:)

Thanks for the review. Keep in touch.

-bannerday

I was going to wait until I caught up with the rest of your readers before reviewing, but I just can't help myself.

This chapter was FUCKING GENIUS!!!!!!!

Loving the whole story, you've got the essence of each character beautifully and I think the best thing about taking these characters out to play. is how playful and funny they are!

GENIUS! GENIUS! GENIUS! GENIUS! GENIUS! GENIUS! GENIUS! GENIUS! GENIUS!

Can't say any more, I need to read the next chapter

Author's Response:

Hi OCDVampire!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the compliments to chapter 25. That chapter, with all of the different POV's is one of my very most favorites. I don't think I've read anything like it in any other story in the fan fic realm. It was fun to think about what those various characters would do and say with the poor information they had regarding the scandal abrew in the dorm.

I really enjoy each of the characters. They have such distinct personalities to me, that it's easy to imagine what they would do or say. They have become rather real to me...which probably means I'll be put in a straight jacket and locked away in a padded room someplace at some point. ;)

Thanks again for the fabulous compliments and kind words.

-bannerday

Don't worry, Luke. I am not your father (or sister). ;)  I only have brothers, two of them, to be exact. My parents never gave me a sister, but according to my mom who had to share her room and everything with her sis when she was a kid, I'm better off cause all my dresses and toys as a little girl were spanking new. (Naturally, I always wanted whatever it was that my older brother had...)

Of course! I completely forgot about putting the SmackDown of Dog Black up on youtube. I'd vote a 'thumbs up' for it, that's for sure (I'd also use movie maker on that clip like there's no tomorrow, we're talking slow motion, colors and comic-like 'POW!' or 'BOOM!' throughout the whole endless loop I'd make) :D

I smell like me.
I find that hard to believe.
I find it hard to believe that Bella finds that hard to believe, but it's good line to get Gah! moving. As for the smiley face answer..there should be emoticons with wagging eyebrows ;)

“Have you noticed that I always seem to invite you to me with either smiley faces or frown faces?”  It's short and to the point and gets the message across. After all, it is called short message service and not WAES (write an essay service).

“You could probably just shorten things up to a colon and skip the parenthesis and I’d show up. You don’t need to add the frown or smile; just skip those; it’ll save us both time.”  Or just write an empty text; there is no false summoning Gah!. Whenever he comes over, it's fine.

"We've already established the fact that I'm a big idiot"  Well, at least you're big. There's comfort in that :D

I took my cue and leaned forward, pressing my face into the warm, soft skin between his shoulder and neck and inhaled deeply. Mmmm…masculine, musky, spicy, man-soap-scented goodness. Gah!  There are moments when you watch tv or read something when you really wish there was a way you could smell what you see or read, right?

“Mmm. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t smelled you with my own nose.” I looked up at him as I laughed quietly once again. “You do smell like you! It’s amazing!”  Lesson learned: Edward has a smell and therefore is not the creepy guy from the movie Perfume.

I nodded, smiling at him. “You’re pretty damn yummy.” And cue: *Yummy, yummy, yummy, she's got Edward in her tummy..* (That song's currently being used in a commercial here, it has about the same effect on me as reading the words my girl..)

“Isabella Swan,” he said softly as he looked at me, “you’re a beautiful girl. You’re an incredible, lovely person. You’re thoughtful and loving and kind. And I thank God you crashed into me with a shopping cart and made me interact with you. I thank God for a twin sister that saw me falling in love with you long before I had any idea it was happening. And I thank God you didn’t let my bullshit ruin what we’d only just started to experience. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me and it would devastate me to lose you. It’s happened so quickly, but I love you so much. I’m going to do better for you.”   Best. lines. ever. in. terms. of. awwwwwwwwww

I pulled my other arm free and reached over his other shoulder, lacing my fingers together into his hair in a makeshift crown for my King of All That.   Hail to the king! And just imagine how odd that crown thing would look if he had no hair. Like a cockscomb?

I pulled his mouth back to my mine, feeling him move and position his erection against the apex of my thighs. Oh my. He’s a very happy boy. A very sturdily-built, happy boy.   Is that the monster I hear singing 'Let's get it started' ?

++newsflash++newsflash++ Mt. Saint Helens has just exploded ++newsflash++newsflash+newsflash++

Little blue monster wearing nothing but a shit-eating grin was only victim of the eruption.

++newsflash++newsflash++newsflash++ Mt. Saint Helens has just exploded ++newsflash++newsflash++newsflash++

I opted for the one that he had been wearing a short while ago. It would smell like him.  We've established that already, Bella, but it's okay. You're allowed to be mushy in the brains right now...

Holy shit. That was fucking incredible for what it was. We’d had half-dressed adolescent dry-sex and it had been pretty damn amazing.   I can't really add anything to that. Gah!'s right. Wowza!

Wait…would Edward pee in the dark? Ewww….disgusting!   Only if he's one of those that live by the 'I am man, I will not sit' rule.

The problem is, if he falls asleep before me, I lie there, listening to it, giggling quietly to myself, trying not to wake him up as I imagine a variety of Jasperesque-looking cartoon characters that might snore like that.   Jas-woodstock-per, lying on top of Snoopy's hut maybe?

“There are those who say you’re psycho, not psychic.”   Being 100% normal is so boring and overrated.

So, the cooking skills are eggs and bacon. It's still more than some can do. And the gesture is great, so it wouldn't matter if he burnt it. Some people would say that fried bugs are a delicacy, and if the human body can digest something like that, it sure can handle some extra-extra-crisp bacon ;)

Lovely limerick at the end!

Author's Response:

Hey there Obi Wan!! Good to know you're not my sister, Sandra, nor are you Darth Vader. And you don't talk like yoda, so I'm going with Obi Wan.

I like your slo-mo Dog Black beatdown on YouTube ala early Batman show with the comic book overtones. POW! BAM!

What ever it takes to get Gah! moving toward Bella, and not away from her is a good thing. So if Bella has to say something inane like "I find that hard to believe (that you smell like you)" then that's what it takes. In a later chapter, if she feels the need to say "I doubt you have a peen" in order to get him to present her with said member, then so be it.

As soon as Smellovision is invented, I'll repost chapter 40 so we can all smell exactly what my Edward smells like. I love all of the different smells that Edward has depending upon which fan fic you are reading. I have yet to read a fic involving a stenchy Edward, although my particular Bella doesn't want Edward to give her his post work-out or post-run t-shirts. Possible stench involved. You always have the best film references sprinkled throughout your reviews. I'm not familiar with Perfume, alas. And alack.

Glad you liked Edward's awwwwwwww lines. Not such a big idiot anymore after that declaration.

You wrote: "And just imagine how odd that crown thing would look if he had no hair. Like a cockscomb?"

My response: Making him the Cock-I'd-doodle-do!     (Nothing further to say there.)

Poor little blue monster, didn't even get a chance to puff on a post-quasi-coital-cigarette, but at least he died happy.

"We’d had half-dressed adolescent dry-sex and it had been pretty damn amazing.   I can't really add anything to that. Gah!'s right. Wowza!' I'm assuming you're referring to the "Wowza in the Trous-ah" effect of Gah's pants/jammie pants.

I like Jasper snoring away like Woodstock on Snoopy's doghouse.

Glad you liked the limerick. I branch out in chapter 40 with a haiku. I'm considering a shorter, busy-woman's version of The Transfer, where each chapter is condensed to a haiku which embodies the entire chapter in 17 syllables. I like a good challenge.

Thanks for the usual Emmett-like guffaws, Rose-like snickers, Alice-like silvery peals, Bella-like giggles, Edward-like chuckles and Jasper-like jocularity.

Luke Skywalker

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Bannerday,

This is a great story, I can't wait unti Edward and Bella truly get together.  I love this weekend at the Cullens !

 

Brenda

Author's Response:

Hi Brenda!

Thanks so much for the compliment. Glad you are enjoying. Each chapter they are getting closer and closer. They'll get there, and it'll be a fun trip to that destination. ;) The weekend at the Cullen Compound has so much going on. We've only just begun the weekend. ;)

Thanks for the review. Keep in touoch.

-bannerday

;) :)

Author's Response:

Glad to see you're happy. ;)

-bannerday

I was going to write my usual novel of a review, but my mind is blown...what a fucked up mess...poor Edward only saw part of what happened between Jake and Bella...I think he kinda jumped to conclusions, but I kind of get it, maybe it brought back some bad memories...I know he was devastated but he should have told Bella what he saw and she shouldn't have waited so long to ask him what was wrong...Maybe I would have reacted the same way, who knows...I'm scared by the last sentence "If I had my truck here, I'd already be gone." Holy shit, what if Edward is so upset he takes her to the bus station? I must hurry and go read the next chapter...

Author's Response:

Hi 1918EC! It seems I've really thrown you for a loop with these last few chapters. What a royally screwed up series of events, that lead poor Edward into his pit of despair!!! What were the chances of everything playing out like that? Of course it brought back bad memories for him, as you now know, because you've read on. He was wrong to wait so long to say anything, that only made it worse, putting himself through the not knowing. Bella did try asking him, but he wasn't forthcoming at all. And of course she had absolutely no idea that it was what actually happened.

Hope you liked the ensuing chapters. Shoot me your thoughts if you have the time. You always write such great reviews. Lighter stuff is on the way.

Thanks for keeping in touch.

-bannerday

hahahaha, i love how they are telling the other 4 totally different stories, but of course Alice gets the PG rated truth! Love it!!

Author's Response:

Hi l2r!

Yeah, they're getting played! The Spanish Inquisition returns next chapter, when they realize they're being worked by these two. ;)

Thanks for the love!

-bannerday