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Reviewer: 3daygirl (Signed) · Date: November 23, 2008 07:45 PM · On: Chapter 3 - There Goes the Fear
Excellent chapter. You have a glorious way of building up to the climax and then keeping it there for a while. As if you are on a roller coaster that is slowly climbing to the top of a large hill. Your climb and climax is like that roller coaster ride, except the moment spent at the top before hurdling down is lengthened. I love it. The fog was unbelieveable. The description of it so real I could see it here in my bedroom, as if it really existed outside of the page. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Reviewer: alaskangirl (Signed) · Date: November 23, 2008 06:56 PM · On: Chapter 3 - There Goes the Fear
wow what a story. i cant wait for the next update!
Reviewer: booksgalore (Signed) · Date: November 23, 2008 06:31 PM · On: Chapter 3 - There Goes the Fear
Absolutely loved the chapter. The kiss was well written. Poor Bella. I'm thinking she needs to slug him now for kissing her when he doesn't love her and I'm imagining her accusing him of just kissing her because her blood sings to him and then reminding him of what he said. The chase was also well done. Can't wait to read what you do next.
Reviewer: Sheeijan (Signed) · Date: November 23, 2008 06:12 PM · On: Chapter 3 - There Goes the Fear
First, don't worry about the lines. It isn't weird or jarring or anything at all. In fact I probably wouldn't have even noticed if you hadn't mentioned it, honestly! Second, ok I am really mean because I loved the fact that Bella mentioned Tristan during that hot intimate moment. You couldn't have manufactured a better way to get him thinking than that! Yeah, saying some other guy's name when you were THISCLOSE to a guy? Yeah, I've got anger issues with Edward, I'm not ashamed to admit. And to the storyline-looks like Bella's starting to show signs of powers! Woohoo! Love that! And I really am looking forward to finding out what powers she has so maybe she can kick Edward's ass (anger issues again). And I really hope she keeps her brunch date with Tristan. *evil grin* Thanks so much for the update!!!!!!
Reviewer: 3daygirl (Signed) · Date: November 20, 2008 12:11 PM · On: Chapter 2b - Love Remains the Same
Each chapter brings me more into the story. Thank you for writing from Edward's POV. It's good to know what he's thinking and why he does the things he does. The situation at hand seems so grave, I am eagerly looking forward to what Alice has seen. Will they be able to stop it? Will the other Cullens see Bella too? In an evil way I'm glad this is so hard for Edward, I know he's been in pain from leaving Bella, but he needs to suck it up and be the man he is. Bella's sure being the woman she can be. I'm looking forward to your update!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your thoughtful reviews -- you have some really good questions there, which I hope I can answer to your satisfaction in upcoming updates. ;-) Thanks for checking out my story. I'm glad you enjoy it.
Reviewer: 3daygirl (Signed) · Date: November 20, 2008 12:02 PM · On: Chapter 2a - Little Pieces
Really an excellent chapter. I have the biggest grin on my face. I am assuming that Bella was the girl the "elders" were speaking about in the Prologue and first chapter and that Tristan is the man sent to get her. Therefore, I am guessing that Alice had a vision of them kidnapping Bella and that's why they are there? I enjoyed Bella's outburst over Edward not wanting her to ride the bike. If only he knew. I like how you've written Bella. There is a nice balance between vunerable/still-in-love Bella and grown-up Bella. Thank you for sharing this story with us!
Reviewer: 3daygirl (Signed) · Date: November 20, 2008 11:24 AM · On: Prologue and Chapter 1 - The Beginning is the End is the Beginning
Oh Wow! Yep, seeing Alice and Edward walk in the door of the place you worked, after they left you, would definately cause any normal person to studder, and of course, Bella to slip. Hmm...I don't get a very good feeling from Tristan. I think he's the bad guy. HaHa! I'm really looking forward to reading your story! I'll eventually get through a review of every chapter, but it may take me a week or so depending on how much free time I can find. :) Great work and thanks for writing! (Oh, and I loved the conversation between Bella and Charlie, I like how you've built their relationship.)
Reviewer: Chagrinned (Signed) · Date: November 20, 2008 01:37 AM · On: Chapter 2b - Love Remains the Same
oh no!!! why did you leave it there!!! please update soon. I got hooked on this story from the begining.
Reviewer: kng1986 (Signed) · Date: November 19, 2008 08:10 PM · On: Chapter 2b - Love Remains the Same
This is a very good story. I love the setting and I cannot wait to find out what the danger is and I love the fact that Bella is standing up to Edward. Please update soon.
Reviewer: PurdueLiz (Signed) · Date: November 13, 2008 01:13 PM · On: Chapter 2b - Love Remains the Same
Excellent look inside Edward's head. I need to know just what the heck is going on. Sheesh. I hope that he will tell Bella how he feels and not just try to blow it off. GAH. Will be anxiously awaiting the next update.
Reviewer: PurdueLiz (Signed) · Date: November 13, 2008 12:57 PM · On: Chapter 2a - Little Pieces
Love, love, love that Bella had the balls to put Edward in his place with trying to tell her what to do. But gah, the moment where she saw him, a little sad, "My Edward", sniff, sniff.
Reviewer: PurdueLiz (Signed) · Date: November 13, 2008 12:49 PM · On: Prologue and Chapter 1 - The Beginning is the End is the Beginning
Excellent beginning. The prologue has me quite intrigued, as well as the encounter with Tristan. Then Alice and Edwart showing up? Hmmmm.
Reviewer: closet_twilighter (Signed) · Date: November 11, 2008 03:49 PM · On: Chapter 2b - Love Remains the Same
I love it! And even though I am greedy and impatient to see how the story progresses, I liked Edward's POV and the ominous hints about what's to come. Thanks and hope to see more soon!!
Reviewer: riverspirit (Signed) · Date: November 09, 2008 03:31 PM · On: Chapter 2b - Love Remains the Same
Uggggh! More, more, please!
Reviewer: beachgirl647 (Signed) · Date: November 09, 2008 02:16 AM · On: Chapter 2b - Love Remains the Same
wow that was a great chapter. You have really good english. And i like how you get the characters so correct. Like most fan fic the charcters are usually nothing like the oiginal ones they only use the names but your really captures there personality. I love it and i love the idea of where this story could go. So, please continue because it is some of the best fan fic I have red in a while. thankyou :D
Reviewer: JensDreams (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2008 08:43 PM · On: Prologue and Chapter 1 - The Beginning is the End is the Beginning
Wonderful Story- you had me hooked from the first. No need for the cliff hangers, lol! Please update again, and SOON! Thanks, SO MUCH, for the update.
Reviewer: Sheeijan (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2008 06:08 PM · On: Chapter 2b - Love Remains the Same
It was great to see Edward's POV. Of course he still sees her as the Belle he left in Forks - still a teenager, unsure of herself, etc. I hope he understands quickly (for his sake) that she's an adult now. It's driving me slightly insane, the whole mystery of why they've come back and all. It obviously is huge in order to get Edward to come back to her. Thanks so much for the update!
Author's Response: Thank YOU for reading! :-) Since this is an R rated fanfic, I'm sure Edward will start to see Bella as an adult quite soon.... ;-) In all seriousness, let's give Edward some time to adjust to the "new" Bella. :-)
Reviewer: jbluvs2sing (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2008 05:50 PM · On: Chapter 2b - Love Remains the Same
Wow! Suspense and everything. I can't wait til the next chapter!
Reviewer: InLustWithEC (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2008 04:49 PM · On: Chapter 2b - Love Remains the Same
Oh man! You have really sucked me in! I'm just sad that I need to wait. I hope you update soon, I'm loving this story.
Reviewer: InLustWithEC (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2008 04:42 PM · On: Chapter 2a - Little Pieces
LOL that was sneaky Edward! Not only does he keep Bella safe, but he manages to get close to her too :) YOu have a wicked mind ;P I like it!
Reviewer: InLustWithEC (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2008 04:36 PM · On: Prologue and Chapter 1 - The Beginning is the End is the Beginning
Hmm, very interesting, very interesting indeed. I'm assuming tristan put a spell on Bella to ensure she said yes to brunch? I am sure too that Bella is the one mentioned in the "end is the beginning is the end" ?? But what does this have to do with Alice and Edward? Did Alice see something and know? Or are witches an enemy of people? And what part of this destiny does Balla play? What will happen if Tristan gets his way?? Of course, I might be completly off base here..... but either way I really enjoyed this beginning, you have me hooked!
Reviewer: booksgalore (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2008 04:12 PM · On: Chapter 2b - Love Remains the Same
"Of course, I was watching her from the trees, never letting her know I was there. I had almost given in after hours of her on the moist ground, curled up in a fetal position and totally motionless. It felt like the eleventh hour when Charlie finally found my note and sent a search party to look for her." I'm kind of totally hating Edward right now. To know that he could stand there watching her sob, seeing her eyes go dead for HOURS makes me really feel that he truly has no idea (I know he thinks he does) but he truly has no idea what he did to her. From a plot hole perspective you might want to clarify that he took off before the wolves showed up. I can't see Sam picking her up and taking off and ignoring Edward without Jacob finding out. And Jacob totally would have told Bella that Edward stood there and watched her on the ground for hours saying nothing as she sobbed. If I were Bella - that right there would do it for me. He'd be done. This is not to say that I disagree with what you've done. It's an excellent chapter. You've done a wonderful job capturing Edward. From my perspective it's not that Bella hates him, it's that he has no credibility with her. We have no idea whether or not all the Victoria stuff happened at this point, so I have no idea whether or not he's been checking in on her over time or if he truly stayed away until now. It'll be interesting to find out. Can't wait to see what you do next. :)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. :-) Thanks for pointing that out -- I didn't think to mention that Edward would have left before the wolves came -- that's kind of a given considering they give off a horrible scent that alerts them to each other's presence. In my mind, he knew Charlie sent a search party, and then left.But it probably would have helped to expand upon it further. You have also hit the nail on the head -- Bella doesn't hate him -- she just doesn't trust him. Love and trust aren't always synonymous, unfortunately.
Reviewer: queenlivi14 (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2008 03:58 PM · On: Chapter 2b - Love Remains the Same
whats happening? is bella going to destroy the world? no one cares what edward thinks. i was waiting for bella to talk, NOT EDWARD.
Author's Response: *chuckle* Sorry to disappoint you.... but stay tuned! ;-)
Reviewer: Somah4 (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2008 03:23 PM · On: Prologue and Chapter 1 - The Beginning is the End is the Beginning
Wow. I am intrigued. I certainly did not think Edward would make an appearance so quickly! I'm eager to read on...
Reviewer: Dulcinea21bella (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2008 02:08 PM · On: Chapter 2b - Love Remains the Same
I was thrilled to see a new chapter. It was a great one! I am so intrigued about what is coming and I am so eager to read how it all plays out. You have such a wonderful writing style. Everything just flows so nicely and your characters are so on point with the books. I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you -- I am happy you like my writing style. I hope that the audience will let me have a little leeway with the characters as the story progresses. :-)
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