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Reviewer: amkh (Signed) · Date: May 07, 2012 07:00 PM · On: Chapter 17: Epilogue: A Winter's Day (angelicwish)
honestly, i came across this story after reading bloodlines. I enjoyed it so much, i knew i had to click on your profile to see if you had any other stories. I'm so happy i found this one- and you really, truly NEVER seem to disappoint! I love your writing style- it's so natural and it captures the characters perfectly. I am in love with your depiction of edward's growth!! You have such a beautiful talent as a writer and bringing your characters alive.
thank you for writing this!!
Author's Response:
Reviewer: tellytubby (Signed) · Date: May 06, 2012 12:17 AM · On: Chapter 17: Epilogue: A Winter's Day (angelicwish)
You should be really proud!
This is definitely one of the better fan fictions of read. I didn't get bored!
Well done, keep up the good work :-)
Author's Response:
Reviewer: ficreader (Signed) · Date: February 14, 2012 04:10 PM · On: Chapter 8: The Gift Box
I'm not trusting Callum right now...
Reviewer: annicullen (Signed) · Date: November 15, 2011 07:17 AM · On: Chapter 1: Look Out Below
WoW - what a fantastic story!! I came across this yesterday and couldn't concentrate on anything else until it was finished! You have done an amazing job. I have laughed, sniffled and yippee'ed all through it! Absolutely brilliant! Now I am off to see what else you have to offer. Anni
Author's Response: Thank you so much! :)
Reviewer: bittenapple04 (Signed) · Date: October 09, 2011 11:53 AM · On: Chapter 17: Epilogue: A Winter's Day (angelicwish)
this fic was amazing!! I couldn't put it down. i think I fell asleep reading this two nights in a row. Keep writing!! great story
Author's Response: Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed :)
Reviewer: Karsha (Signed) · Date: October 09, 2011 04:06 AM · On: Chapter 17: Epilogue: A Winter's Day (angelicwish)
AWESOME!!!!
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Reviewer: renee aubin (Signed) · Date: July 26, 2011 11:22 PM · On: Chapter 17: Epilogue: A Winter's Day (angelicwish)
Completely lovely epilog to wrap up what these two have been through, the good times they have earned during the arc of your story. Love your vision of what the vampire-human phase of the marriage would be like. It makes me irrationally happy to see Edward get the only thing he ever asked Bella for - more time with her as a human. And as your Bella gets to discover: ‘Being married to Edward was fun.'
Flawless honeymoon, just taking time to discover each other. Enjoyed your feathers story far more than BD's. Playful, happy, sexy Edward - perfection.
Wonderful idea having them go through the furniture and memorabilia from his human life together. Such a contrast to how overwhelmed he was when first visiting the house with Carlisle. How special to have those good memories integrated into their home.
Excellent how they enjoyed being in college together, and had fun discussing so many ideas. (Yaay, something besides Wuthering Heights or R&J.) And Bella made some new friends!
‘I loved it when he talked so happily and eagerly about my change. And I especially loved it when he talked about us having a child.' OMG, they've grown up together and become such a strong couple, much more so than book E&B ever did.
And yet, two important incidents they had to work through - Edward still not understanding that she must be an equal partner, and his jealousy over the (entirely predictable) invitation to a frat party. You did a great job constructing their fight about the utility bills. I especially liked that he came back to give her the car keys and took off on foot himself. And the reference to Bella not wanting to be like her mother, contrasted with Edward's reaction to Renee's own memories of preteen Bella having to worry about bills. How her anger quickly dissipated when she realized she had hurt his feelings. His stab of guilt over walking away from her and not immediately responding - another sharp illustration of how his desertion will haunt him/them for years, maybe forever.
And may I just say, his ultimate reaction to the frat party incident - yummm! I loved that she encouraged him to go ahead and growl - and look where it got her.
"Psycho" was fun. The first time I ever watched it was late at night ... alone - how stupid was that?? My favorite moment of the snow play was when she finally managed to get him with a snowball and he fell over dead. Also laughed out loud when he sulked over losing at poker.
The painting of the meadow for her birthday, truly a "sentimental vampire". What a wonderful thing to be able to always have with them as they move around. Two days later Bella's understanding about the anniversary of his leaving was equally perfect - your description of how it affected him almost made me cry. The best possible solution for a vampire whose memory would never fade: "Let me give you a new memory."
Shivery remembering what the previous Christmas was like, a world of difference, unimaginable then that they'd be this happy now. Not surprising that she loses it with the too-sharp reminder of the tree. "It will always be me, Bella." Lovely echo of "it's always been him" from NM. And of course the perfect final line.
Other favorite lines:
‘Edward giving in to his desires was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.'
‘I'd had tears the night Edward curled himself around me in our bed and whispered that he was ready to have a baby whenever I was.' Sniffle.
"I'm thinking that I wish I could warm your hands for you." Oh, heartclench.
‘He was so relaxed, just the smallest smile on his lips, his long lashes casting shadows on his cheek. He could almost be asleep.' Delicious.
And how charming looking forward to Christmas in Forks. And eventually their baby in the house Edward designed. Then the family around for her change.
Thank you so much for this sensational story - it has to be one of my top ten favorites ever. I love your Edward (of course), but your Bella is the real revelation, learning and growing as she did in his absence. This is one of the few stories where I have felt that Bella really deserved Edward. They both truly earned their HEA.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your support of this story. All your lovely, thoughtful, insightful reviews have been such a pleasure to receive and read, and I have loved 'hearing' all your thoughts. Thank you so much :)
Cheers, W
Reviewer: renee aubin (Signed) · Date: July 20, 2011 11:21 PM · On: Chapter 16: Tuxedo Time Part II
Wow, his human father's watch chain - talk about a blast from the past! Nice moment too, Edward having to deal with his parents' home. This detail is particularly telling: ‘...staring at the painting of lilies on the wall. I could see each individual brush stroke.' Unnerving to look at something once so familiar with his new vampire senses.
Enjoyed the "get acquainted" picnic between the new in-laws. Especially Renee: ‘her sense of self-preservation was just as poorly developed as her daughter's.' Snicker.
Liked Edward's constant refrain of "This was really happening." Funny conversation about Mike Newton and Tanya. This was nice: ‘I began to worry that I'd said too much, but I wanted nothing but openness between us - I never wanted to keep anything from her again.' Good boy.
‘...my body had never responded to any of them the way it did to Bella. It wasn't just love that was new to me - it was lust, too.' Now why is it that I accept this idea from you but not from SM? You must have developed it better.
Lovely pre-ceremony moment for Esme and Edward. She really deserves more recognition in this fandom.
Your description of the wedding itself was terrific (I'm not usually excited about weddings - but I loved this one). And of course it had to be EPOV! ‘Mr and Mrs Cullen. A nuclear bomb couldn't have wiped the grin off my face.' Great moment with Bella and Tanya: ‘...resting her hand on my chest, marking her territory. Her small display thrilled me.' The line dancing was so Emmett.
‘"I don't like surprises, remember?" "Then why are you grinning?"' Nice!
‘"When I saw you waiting for me I started to cry, I was so happy," she whispered and my breath caught in my throat. "I know," I breathed. "I can't cry, but I felt it too." She lifted her hand ... as though she were wiping tears away. "I know. I could see it. I can see it again now."' Sniffle.
‘"That first day, in biology, did you ever imagine we'd get this far?"' Wow, that's a jolt!
‘...soon our lives would actually come down to these small details of day to day living together.' Sigh.
If he ever messes up, she could make him watch the Monkees on video! Or Buffy. Oh my, singing "I'm a Believer" in her ear. The lyrics are so fitting - I didn't see that coming, the line about "I couldn't leave her" and Edward's reaction. Well done.
‘"So you were checking out your truck in your wedding dress?" Jacob shook his head. "That is such a Bella thing to do," he chuckled.' It really is!
Edward helping Bella change out of her wedding dress was perfect. What a missed moment that would have been. Especially the garter, yummy.
An unexpected concession from Jacob: ‘"I won't make her sad." Jacob studied me for a moment. His eyes darted to Carlisle and Esme, arm in arm, smiling at each other; then to Emmett, hugging Rosalie, whispering in her ear and making her laugh. "No," he said. "I don't think you will."' Very nice.
For about 10 seconds I thought you'd pulled an SM "fade to black" - you structured it that way "just to tease us", right?
‘I leant over and did what I'd promised her I'd do one day. I kissed my way all down her spine, and across the sway of her back, while she lay in our bed, satisfied and sleeping, after making love with me.' Mmmm, how that resonates back to that marvelous sexy talking.
You did a terrific job with their first time. This was spectacular: ‘I broke, shattering, falling free as I shuddered and gasped. And I had never felt so powerful. Or so fragile.'
And this: ‘There were so many feelings, so much I wanted to tell her, but all I could manage was her name...' And this: "It was like I'd been lost for a very long time, and last night you found me."
And you know what? Your lovely words are entirely suited to E&B, it's so easy to imagine every moment as uniquely theirs. Nothing remotely generic about it, which is a common pitfall with citrus. You've captured what they mean to each other so well.
"Come and get me." Oh, yeah.
Thank you so much for this truly satisfying story.
Author's Response: Thank you so much :) And I really like that you picked up on the brush strokes in the painting of the lilies - that was exactly what I was going for, something that was so familiar was now so different. Poor Edward, his family home, everything, so different.
Thank you for all your lovely, I really appreciate all the time you've taken to give me your insights and feedback, thank you.
Reviewer: 4ever17 (Signed) · Date: July 18, 2011 08:18 PM · On: Chapter 17: Epilogue: A Winter's Day (angelicwish)
I am throwing bouquets of roses at my screen, blowing kisses & shouting BRAVISIMO to you!! Don't know if you get reviews anymore but I stumbled across this last week & have devoured it every chance I could. I have read, literally, hundreds of E/B stories & THIS is how I'll remember the New Moon phase (hated the book version:too painful). THIS is the Edward we should've read about...the human and the vampire blending into our beloved. Absolutely adored his childhood memories, their dates, the fun & laughter & growing & sharing & learning & loving. Loved how you fleshed out the interactions of Emmett & Jasper and even Rose! Loved how you included canon like the yellow porsche. This is a spectacular piece of work...such talent is rare. THANK YOU for sharing this wonderful adventure here on Twilighted!! I could go on & on, but I'm off to check out your other stories & sincerely hope you'll continue writing here. Much love, Linda
Author's Response: Wow, I don't know what to say - bouquets of roses, kisses and bravisimo - that's just...wow...thank you. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story, I very much enjoyed writing it and fleshing things out - I particularly liked writing the flashbacks and memories. I hope you enjoy my other stories and thanks for such a lovely review :)
Reviewer: renee aubin (Signed) · Date: July 17, 2011 03:09 PM · On: Chapter 15: Tuxedo Time Part I
Stellar imagining of what Edward's departure in NM was like for him. Very powerful, maybe more so because it's told out of sequence, when we believe whew, we're past that horrible time. So many great lines, including ‘I drove away from Forks...away from love, life, meaning. All of it...over.' Shudder.
I noticed when re-reading this chapter that your writing evokes rhythms that are like a musical composition. For instance, the refrain ‘I'm saving her, I'm saving her, I'm saving her'.
The happiness of the wedding day has so much more impact, being told right after the story of the day he left. You are very good at structuring the story; you're also better than most at making the transitions between time jumps.
A charming bit of fluff that he overhears some of what's going on in Alice's room as Bella gets ready. Stunning idea that a few months ago he had slipped in his determination enough to dial Bella's number and listen to it ring - but not to hear her voice. Your description of the three photos on his shelf was just wonderful. Nice moments with the other family members. And I love his moment of triumph on the cliff top while hunting.
Lovely fluffy conversation about the honeymoon destination, and whether he sparkles all over. Followed of course by the horrifying description of what Victoria had planned for Bella, and how Edward killed her. ‘My mind exploded with what ifs that had been locked away for the last five months and now I was drowning in them.' Very believable reaction. This is terrific: "I'm sorry," I panted, pulling back a little. "I just...I needed..." "I know." There was understanding in her eyes. "And don't ever apologise for that." Go, Bella!
I chuckled when he turned on the stereo to avoid hearing anything about Bella's underwear.
‘"What if she'd said no?" ... It would have crushed me.' I always hate watching the first part of Eclipse where Bella so casually blows off his "marry me" (well, except for the excellent snogging). Now I'll really hate it, because you're exactly right.
Very interesting observation about how long it took Edward to think of Bella as "the one". It wasn't that he didn't want it, it was that he couldn't imagine it working out, so he didn't dare let his mind "go there".
So sweet that he had her truck restored, because he knows what it means to her. Big improvement over SM's version of events.
His story of leaving Forks for Yellowknife is wrenching. Another musical moment: the terrific crescendo when he's sitting on the plane. ‘I'd done what was best for Bella. She'd have a human life. She'd be happy. She'd find someone else - a good man who would love her and she'd be happy. Except no-one would ever love her the way I did.' Everything changes course with that realization: ‘I'd been drowning but at that moment I broke the surface.' Wow! Then seeing their reunion through Edward's eyes was so moving.
Your whole story has made this point: ‘...if I hadn't left we would probably still be dancing around each other, locked in a spiral of hurt feelings and misunderstandings - I would be holding Bella at arms length and Bella would be fighting to get closer. And today would have been just another day, not our wedding day.' Taking a deep breath here! Particularly lovely watching Carlisle's images of Edward's life leading up to this day.
Other favorite lines:
‘And right then I'd felt just like a normal teenage boy. A normal teenage boy who owned the world.'
"Actually, he's left happy and excited way behind," Jasper drawled. "He's well on his way to euphoria right now."
‘I'd never have this day again - I wanted to feel everything.'
‘Callum snickered. "A superstitious vampire - that's funny."'
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I particularly enjoyed writing these chapters and giving a bit of background to things. Glad you liked Callum's line about the superstitious vampire - it made me laugh too when it jumped into my head.
Reviewer: renee aubin (Signed) · Date: July 15, 2011 10:37 AM · On: Chapter 14: Getting There
Long chapter, long review - just warning ya. Spectacular chapter, too.
‘Edward took his hands from my face, opened his overcoat and tucked me inside, under his chin, as close as he could get me.' So sweet. ‘"I swear I can feel it beating," he whispered.' Awww. So fun telling the Cullens the good news! Nice that she chose his birthday for the date.
The perfect thing to say to Rosalie: "I want what you have with Emmett.... I don't want [Edward] to ever be alone again."
Enjoyed this interaction between Alice and Jasper: ‘He raised an eyebrow, she scowled, his eyebrow went higher and her scowl deepened. Jasper added a second eyebrow and a tilt of his head and Alice sighed, defeated.' Jasper has to have a lot of influence on her, but most authors seem to miss that.
"The night you gave me my pocket watch, and you spoke about the future...That was the night I thought that maybe...maybe one day she will say yes." Sniffle.
Whoa! Unexpected moment when Edward pulls the car over and admits he's thinking about starting the honeymoon early!
You always write Charlie very well. He lets his wish for Bella to be happy override his personal doubts. This was funny: ‘Of course Mr 1918 thought it was a reasonable question.' Nice touch that Charlie tells Billy.
Totally yummy conversation in the kitchen. ‘When he put it like that, looking and sounding that way...suddenly waiting seemed like the sexiest thing in the world.' This is a good insight: "For so long I'd felt nothing, and then suddenly there was you and I felt...everything. It's been confusing and overwhelming and terrifying." Mmm, exploring and playing and a bed ... very promising.
A heart-clenching moment when Alice's magazine arrives, remembering how Bella felt back when she arranged that.
Good tactic - distract Alice with the need to design her own dress.
Loved the bit where she slaps his chest and he pretends to be hurt to distract her. "Don't do that. You scared me." "Oh, now I scare you? Now?"
‘His eyes were all smoldery and hot and I steeled myself against their power.' Excellent.
Thanks, Jessica, for bringing up the strippers. Edward's audition - what an unexpected treat! ‘"Does that mean you liked it?" Duh!' She should have just said that! Ooh, and then Edward does a leg hitch! You squeezed every ounce of hot out of their exploring on the bed... And the talking, sweet Jesus! Squirming in my chair here...
"And I love the sound of your heart," he smiled. "It tells me everything your mind doesn't." Lovely.
"When we make love...physically, I know it will be powerful...But I know it will be so much more than that." Yeah, puddle of goo. Is it wrong for me to be jealous of Bella?
Good for Jake: "I've seen what you're both like when you're apart - you're definitely better off together, even if I don't understand it."
"I'm a formal kind of vampire." Snicker.
Loved what you did with the issue of Edward's unexpected fertility. First, they find out in advance - yaay. Excellent benefit of Callum's father's research. And second, with this stunning information of course he initially turned into control freak Edward, but he did so well to eventually remember what he and Bella have learned. ‘...the self-loathing I hadn't seen for a long time was making a fast come-back' - sad. ‘The habit of a hundred years told him to shut down.' Well said. So chilling when he holds up his hand to stop her from going with him to talk to Carlisle, because that would absolutely have happened in the books. I always thought that Bella's reprehensible behavior in the BD pregnancy was partly deep-down immature "gotcha" for Edward constantly making decisions without her. Thank goodness your Bella pushes him to accept her right to be part of this.
I like this different "third wife" story: ‘the third wife survived because the vampire changed her immediately after birth.' And I like that Bella "wondered vaguely" about the possibility of a baby for them, if it's timed with her change. Of course that's a wonderful thing to hope for if it's wanted and carefully planned and survivable. ‘"I wish it was possible." I braced myself for Edward's reaction. "Me too."' Awww.
I had to laugh that Edward didn't let Carlisle get to the part about contraception on the phone. Typical.
This is very well done: "There was a time you would have been tearing yourself up over this. You would have been telling me you were a monster who should never have touched me and you'd refuse to sleep with me while I was human." He gave a dark laugh. "Weren't you there when I got the phone call? I thought I did do all that."
""And I think, honestly, if the situation had been reversed, my first reaction probably would have been the same." Empathy - good girl.
Bella's "whiny petulance" when her truck died was great. Loved the bumper falling off. And she lets him buy her a car, yaay! A reasonable car, thank goodness, not that stupid tank. And even Charlie chooses to be reasonable about the Dartmouth tuition.
The garage conversation was fun. "Is this you putting your foot down?" Hmm, she likes his firm voice - I can see that.
Sigh, yummy image of the "back" massage turning into a "front" massage.
How nice that Renee is the one to find the dress! She does know her daughter.
‘Yeah, my wedding to Edward Cullen. The boy is mine.' I like it.
This is excellent: ‘"She's not going to try and grab your gear stick again, is she?" I asked tartly...'
"There is only one hand that has ever been there. Or will be there." Gah! OK, now I do have one little ... "complaint" is too strong. Your citrus is more powerful than most people's full lemons. So I just want to say that I'm glad you're clueing us in that Edward has finally gotten his first orgasm (from someone else anyway) - but that's always my favorite moment and I would love to have you tell us all about it. Of course you're entitled to tell your story your way, and we can use our imaginations, but your words are so very good that I'd love more of them in this instance...
Awesome having Edward write out the invitations himself! Lovely that Bella thinks about whether Edward might be missing his human parents now.
Fun fluffy stuff planning their house. And the auto pavilion. Oh! Wonderful when she speculates about being changed there. OMG, he wonders about a nursery! Did not see that coming. And of course Carlisle has kept researching. "You do realise how overbearingly protective of you I would be?" Could be fun.
"I'm thinking that so many times I've thought the things I wanted were impossible, and every single time you've proved me wrong." Sigh, a happy vampire.
In case I haven't said it lately, thank you so much for this terrific story.
Author's Response: Wow, what a review! Thank you!
I'm glad you liked the fertility issue. I always thought if they'd known beforehand things might have gone differently. And I'm glad you liked Edward's little strip tease too. I was unsure about that at first - I put it in and took it out and put it back a few times. I thought it might have been too out of character, but then I thought of how much he's changed, how much he's relaxed now in this story, so maybe he would be a little playful like that...just for Bella, in the privacy of his room. So it stayed.
As for the gearstick citrus - I was thinking more that it might have been her hand inside his jeans, just gently touching, and him getting used to the feel of her hand on him there - the touch and trace of her fingers as she learns about him, too. It might not have actually come to orgasm. But thngs are heating up :)
Thanks again :)
Reviewer: renee aubin (Signed) · Date: July 10, 2011 09:19 PM · On: Chapter 13: Yes!
"But that's not a question I can answer for the both of us." What a concept! I especially like that he realizes she could have made plans of her own while he was gone.
I like this phrasing you keep having him use: "will you tell me..." whatever. It's so gentle and respectful.
This is so good: "If you decide to [go to] college, then I would go too," he said simply, smiling. "If you open a bookshop I'll stack the shelves. If you write a book I'll proof-read your drafts and put in all the commas you've left out." Sigh.
"If it was within your means, wouldn't you do the same for me, so we could be together?" And thank the goddess she gets it.
‘He sat on the bed, settling himself against the pillows and the headboard. Then he held his arms out. "Lay with me?" And I didn't need to be asked twice.' Fanning myself here.
I love how Edward kind of babbles when he asks if she still wants to be a vampire. We never see him being nervous! And then he's mind-blowingly straightforward that he is willing to change her now! I find it entirely believable that he wants both for her to be immortal with him and for her to have a human life.
This is flat-out wonderful: "But having said all that, what I want most, more than forever, more than your humanity, is for you to have whatever you want." Yes, that's what you want for someone you love.
I like that Bella isn't dead certain about everything: ‘I opened my mouth to tell Edward yes, change me, but something else came out instead.' Her concern for his peace of mind is so much more mature and loving than anything we saw in the books.
"Because it's your choice and I will never deny you your choices again...If you believe you would keep your soul, then who am I to argue and tell you otherwise." Thank you! - it's not like they disagree about the answer to an algebra problem!
"I don't have to completely vanish, I could still email, couldn't I? Talk on the phone? Send blurry photos?" Makes sense to me...
Interesting conversation about being changed too young. I'm so happy to see Bella trying college first! Dumbest thing ever letting a 17 year old make a literally eternal decision. And so sweet how excited Edward is! Then later she gives up arguing about a new laptop and Dartmouth - a very good day for Edward.
"I will ask you to do that again," he growled. "But when we're alone." Oh my!
Delicious thought that they'd be living together at college. "Chaperones? What century are you from? Oh yeah, I forgot..." Excellent!
Re the R&J essay: "It's saying I love you more than my own life." That really popped off the screen - this is literally the choice Bella is making, isn't it?
Enjoyed the conversation with Jacob - this is the relationship they should have had. Also with Alice - she hears what Bella says rather than rolling over her like a tank. Fun - Jasper and the Civil War.
Lovely sexy times in front of the fire. Terrific that she decides turnabout is fair play. And he doesn't panic: "Oh," Edward's eyes widened in understanding. "Oh." I love how her mind works: ‘If it felt this good with the bra on, I wondered how it would feel without it. And then I wondered how soon I could find out.' I think you've found a perfect balance for their explorations, that moving too fast or too far is still hard for him, and that she cooperates when he needs to stop.
‘He looked so shy. "Would it be wrong of me to tell you I've imagined that scenario before?"' Oh Lord, and then he does tell her some things he has imagined! Wow.
‘I started giggling as I realised what he was doing. "Edward, you're courting me."' Sweet. And a performance of R&J - perfect. (Although it's hard to beat SM's image of Edward reciting Romeo's dialog as they watch the movie! I guess it would be rude to do that in a theater.)
Spectacular proposal scene. Especially since she has the sense to say yes.
Other favorite lines:
‘He was trying to look innocent but I could see the smirk trying to get out.'
‘Edward stood gracefully, unfolding himself from the floor in a move so lithe and graceful. Sometimes it was easy to forget he wasn't human and it was little things like that that reminded me.'
‘He was beautiful. Not just his body, but his heart, his mind, his soul.'
"Teenage angst and vampire instincts - a very dangerous combination." Serious, but funny too.
Mike Newton gets a great line! "I say if they hadn't killed themselves they would have broken up a month later. And they'd look back and wonder what they ever saw in each other."
Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked Mike's line about Romeo and Juliet. I've often wondered myself, what would have become of the star-crossed lovers if they hadn't done what they did.
I really enjoy reading about the different parts you've enjoyed, and the things that leapt off the screen (page) for you, thank you so much :)
Reviewer: Indianwalker (Signed) · Date: July 08, 2011 10:56 AM · On: Chapter 17: Epilogue: A Winter's Day (angelicwish)
Sweet! I like how you developed Bella's character into a more mature one. :)
Reviewer: renee aubin (Signed) · Date: July 07, 2011 12:12 AM · On: Chapter 12: Presents
Lovely reunion with the other Cullens. I was a little surprised that Esme was focused on Edward to the exclusion of Bella at first, but that's a good indication how worried they were about him. Emmett was wonderful: "Got over your tantrum, then?" And funny that Rosalie smacks Edward instead of Emmett for a change. "That was for making me miss you" - perfect. The apology from Carlisle was very satisfying. So sweet that all evening Edward has to keep touching her.
Good that Bella didn't let Alice try to finagle Charlie! But sleepovers, hmmm... Nice moments with Alice - it was hard to hear how Edward had struggled with his decision to head for Alaska or come back to Forks. ‘I had to remind myself that it was okay now, he was just downstairs, happy and smiling.' This was surprising and heartbreaking, from Alice: "I thought maybe you were moving on after all," she said quietly. "I didn't tell Edward." Then in the next sentence you mention finding the sandal's "mate" - clever. I loved Bella's description of Edward's reaction to hearing that she met Tanya: "Restrained panic" indeed.
This was an intriguing detail: [Alice] ‘wiping at her eyes. It was an automatic action, she didn't even seem aware of it, and I wondered if it was some left-over human reflex surfacing.' Nice resolution with Jasper, too. Oh, and in this timeline she hasn't had occasion to learn about Jasper's past - interesting. Jasper's/Jackson's dimples - killer! That NM scene at Forks High where he influences her to agree to her birthday party - he didn't even need his "gift", just those dimples!
Esme: "Just a couple of phone calls, to let us know he was still...existing." Shiver. And then "That night... He kept saying I should never have hoped..." So painful.
‘I sort of wanted to bring up the fact that he'd taken his sweater off, and ask if maybe that could happen again, but I didn't know how.' Wonderful. Can't un-ring that bell! Lots of little boundary-pushing moments from Edward, all evening long.
Tough question about whether to retrieve the Volvo. I can't imagine her letting it go - shows how much she doesn't want reminders of Tanya. Or another encounter.
‘"Presents," Edward grinned and his face lit up, excited.' Lovely, and yet sad at the same time that this is his first one from her. Before, she didn't understand that the dollar value would be totally irrelevant to him. Such a great gift, especially with the photo engraving. ‘There were memories and disbelief in his eyes...and hope.' Sniffle.
Terrific making out - and undressing. I'd tell you my favorite bit but it was all so yummy. And hopeful. ‘I could feel the quiver of his muscles underneath his skin and I realised how new this sensation would be for him.' Mmmm. ‘I'd made Edward Cullen hard.' She could have that engraved on her tombstone! Well, if she ever has one.
This is a great description: ‘He gave me a lazy smile and just the subtlest arch of an eyebrow. I thought my heart was going to give out. It lay in my chest, panting and fanning itself, trying to keep up with the blood that scorched like fire through my veins.'
‘"I want that for us," he whispered and his words, the conviction in his voice, in his eyes, made my breath catch in my throat.' Such an important realization / admission, for both of them. And then he winks! Sigh.
Jessica's interrogation - I can totally see that. Loved Callum jumping in with the "Spanish Inquisition" MP reference. ‘There hadn't been a single hair flick since he'd arrived.' Funny - and then it turns out Jess saw him with Leah! Hmm, I was just thinking, Leah's probably a couple years older than Callum, too. Nice moment re Edward's birthday. How did book Bella never ask him when his birthday is??
Nice transition to the conversation about "what next". ‘He grabbed my hand and I followed him and his mood swing out the door.' Good one.
‘I wondered if my question about life after graduation had unsettled him. I decided that when he came over I'd just ask him what was wrong. Simple.' Halleluia.
"I know," Edward smiled ... "Because you love me." Awww.
Funny exchange with Callum, Leah, Emmett and Rosalie over the video game.
So what exactly does Edward want to talk about?? I'm so glad I don't have to wait for the next chapter!
Reviewer: renee aubin (Signed) · Date: July 04, 2011 11:31 PM · On: Chapter 11: Dust Sheets and Drama Queens
Thank goodness we've made it to the rebuilding stage. Even some lovely fluff here and there.
Creepy view of the Cullen house with the windows shuttered and the furniture covered. It's a relief when it comes back to life. Giggle, Edward is not quite clear on the concept of dust covers, is he? Sure it's fun to snap them around but if you just redistribute the dust... Enjoyed the playful tossing cushions around! ‘His hair was a mess and his eyes were bright and playful. He looked gorgeous. And he was going down.'
Good conversation about the night of her birthday party. They needed to open up that subject. ‘...this was the first time I'd ever acknowledged the fear. To either of us...' Makes me think of dealing with "what is", with reality instead of stubborn wishful thinking. Also good that she admits she blamed herself for what went wrong, but understood better later on. Wonderful insight from Edward that "I'd been letting myself hope." It's hard to remember that at that point in time, this was big progress. Oh, and stomach-dropping when he admits he decided to leave right after Jasper's attack. Wow.
Oh brother, isn't this the heart of the matter: "If we'd been more honest with each other, instead of me lying to you and thinking I knew best and you saying what you thought I'd want to hear and trying to keep everyone happy." Well done! Great question from Bella: "So if we'd talked, what would you have said?" Terrific conversation follows from that. This is so important: "I'd tell you I understood your concerns, and I'd go along with any reasonable precautions that you thought were necessary, as long as we could be together." She can be his partner instead of acting (and reacting) like a defiant ten year old.
His reaction to the "eighty years" comment was interesting, too. For once she doesn't pour on the pressure to "change me, change me".
Snickered at his initial answer to what happened to the TV: "It broke". Yeah. I liked your insights into how the family conversation would have gone. Everyone else had more faith in E&B than Edward did (well, except Rosalie of course). Funny that both of them get busted for their "flair for the dramatic", which brings on the release of some much-needed laughter.
Edward is really touched by her faith that they would find each other again: "I promised myself that when I found you I'd take you there." Enjoyed the "boring enough?" comment - they're ready for some boring! And how she had missed her "music snob". "I liked the death-stare" - awesome!
‘His hair was damp and dusted with snow, just like the day before when he'd appeared in Charlie's back yard.' OMG, it has only been a DAY? So much has happened.
Yay, and just as she has dropped some of her more annoying themes, he isn't fighting her on her truck!
Yikes, Charlie doesn't even know Edward's back, and now they are SOOO busted. Excellent scene with Charlie, he gets to react like a very realistic protective dad. This is perfect: "And then you tell me if you'd let the boy who did that to her come back into her life again." And "You're not the only one he hurt, Bella!" Edward handled it very well too. Ouch, he not only gets a verbal picture from Charlie of the damage done to Bella, but also whatever images he gets from Charlie's thoughts. Enjoyed the little touch of humor too: "You'd better come inside...Before Bella falls out the window." Charlie's conclusion was wise, and no doubt hard for him.
Good conversation with Callum, especially the Leah part. Snickered that Leah climbs in his window...
This is very hopeful: ‘He seemed more open, not so closed off. I realised that before I'd often felt distant from him, like sometimes he'd been keeping me at arms length...keeping me from knowing him too closely. But it didn't feel that way now.' And ‘I wondered if Edward's new openness was as much a reflection of my new confidence as it was his own introspection.' Yes!
"Think of it as an incentive" [no kiss until after homework] - smartass vampire!
I like that Edward admits to her that he still gets worried - but he's trying.
Wow, he didn't take anything from his room when he left! And oh shoot, time for the Denali conversation. So well done! "Do you know what it would do to me, if something happened to you?" he asked softly. ... "Will you try to remember that, please?" So much less controlling than book Edward. His worst nightmare that the Denali vampires she encountered included Tanya! He handled that so well, telling Bella the whole truth. "She tried to grab more than just the gear stick" - snort.
Loved this: "I was annoyed that she'd probably seen more of you than I had." And his solution - brilliant and totally unexpected! Damn, damn, damn, the family's timing sucks! ‘...I was still trying to get my head around the last few minutes. I'd just seen Edward half naked.' That would most definitely make one's head spin.
Author's Response: Yes, a half naked Edward would make anyone's head spin - definitely :) So glad you liked their conversation in the dining room, I enjoyed writing that scene. And the Denali discussion was fun to write, too. I was originally going to have Edward see his jacket in Bella's room and realise she must have got it from the Denali's and he'd ask her about it and the Alaska conversation would go from there, but I could never really find a place to set up that scenario without it seeming contrived, so I decided to just get it out there. And yes, Charlie got to say his piece - I think he deserved that.
Thanks so much for your review :)
Reviewer: renee aubin (Signed) · Date: July 02, 2011 12:07 AM · On: Chapter 10: Very Good Wrist Action
Wow, what a reunion. Huge payoff after nine chapters of Bella searching for him and growing in her understanding of their dynamics. Great job taking us through the slow rebuilding of their confidence in each other, such vivid moments.
Your description of how he looked when she first sees him is heartbreaking. And so suspenseful whether he will run! Then when he falls to his knees - stunning.
I like her strategy of "I'll tell you what I understand and you tell me if I'm wrong". And this is great: "It broke my heart, but I remembered the truth, and now I understand." It doesn't minimize the cost of what he did, but it shows that she figured it out for herself and already got to the forgiveness stage. I love how surprised he is that she was able to do that. And how shocked he is that she was actually looking for him!
"I hurt you." "You hurt yourself, too." So key to their future that she has been able to get to a place of seeing and caring about his pain.
Love how as she sits holding him she inventories all the details she loves about his physical presence. Yummy.
Wonderful apology for refusing his birthday gift. "I made it all about me. And I wouldn't let you be you." Finally - we're past book Bella's relentless self-involvement!
"Next time there's a problem, you'll talk to me about it, okay? I'm not four years old, I don't need you to make my decisions for me. We're in this together, Edward. Have you got that?" Good girl! Sigh, I guess we'll find out whether Edward is past his relentless control issues... Terrific explanation that she does understand and doesn't minimize the physical risks of mixing humans and vampires. That must have been so frustrating for him before.
Such a relief when she gets to sit in his lap in the rocking chair again. Almost as good as when he gets into her bed again. The kisses next morning were perfect.
A brilliant explanation for why he looked so lost after the battle: "After Victoria was dead, and you were safe, all my purpose in your life was gone. I realised it really was goodbye." Major heartclench.
The burned Pop Tarts are hilarious. Especially ‘It seemed the pop tarts had offended him personally.' But at least he gets to show off with the omelette flip.
Nice detail: ‘Edward jerked his head out of the way quickly, saving me from a nasty bang on his stone chin.'
"As Carlisle said, it'll be good to have all the family together again." Awww.
Did he seriously think he could play off the library books? Silly vampire. "The books...when I realised, it made me feel so...loved." See, now that's how to say "thank you".
And then the encounter between Edward and Callum, oh geez. "The last time you said that there was a werewolf in your kitchen and a vampire stalking your house." The boy is no dummy. ‘"I'm here." Edward stood in the living room doorway.' Simple and yet so chilling. ‘This was the first vampire he'd ever met, but unlike most humans, Callum knew what he was looking at.' Good point. Edward's reaction when Callum thought about the newspaper articles was truly frightening. ‘...the aura of barely controlled panic, from both of them' Well said.
‘"She'll fill you in later," Edward smiled wryly...' Damn, I want to know exactly what Callum was thinking!
"You love me so much that you did everything in your power to find me, even if that meant breaking the law." Sniffle - he gets it.
‘"Bella, I don't know how, but...you love me so much you would let me go if it meant protecting me." ... "Like you did for me," I whispered. And there it was. Understanding.' Sensational!
He seems to acknowledge the depth of her feelings, too. In the books I'm not convinced he got there.
Other favorite lines:
‘"Bella," he breathed and I heard his agony and joy come together in my name.'
‘And it was me who let go first.' So sweet and satisfying.
"And I understand exactly what this has done to you, because I know what it's done to me."
"And what you put inside it...you were giving me you. All of you, human, vampire..."
‘I was back upstairs before the bait had even hit the water.' Chuckle.
"I gave her my vampire stare. You know, the one that doesn't work on you."
‘I introduced Edward to Stalker Bella.' Which he enjoyed immensely.
‘I saw his eyes wander over my body briefly. There was a time when I would have thought I'd imagined that, but now I knew differently.' Yaay!
‘Three months of nothing and now ... everything.'
Author's Response: Glad you liked the reunion scene. And I particularly enjoyed writing the scene when Callum and Edward meet for the first time, so I'm glad you liked that :)
"She'll fill you in later," Edward smiled wryly..... You want to know what Callum was thinking? I think probably something along the lines of ... What happens now, Swan? Is he back, is he staying? When did he get here? Are we in deep shit for going through his private stuff??
Thanks for your review :)
Reviewer: renee aubin (Signed) · Date: June 29, 2011 12:45 PM · On: Chapter 9: Bandage
Oh how aggravating -Callum is off the map and even Jake is evasive about what happened! "Yeah, that's about it." What?? Funny variation on Bella smacking Jake - out of frustration this time.
Callum and Leah? That's wonderful! I'm so glad to see Leah find a good mate.
OMG, she figures out Edward did Seth's bandages! And HE killed Victoria. Hyperventilating now. Bella's roller-coaster reaction is very well written. Oh no, he was in Forks before Bella left, and in fact he sent her away. No matter how much thought she puts into analyzing his reasons, the pure fact that he could be away from her again/still is so painful. Good question about whether Edward might have found out she was looking for him from Callum.
I love this detail, from the Phoenix hospital: ‘When she left the room Edward came back in before the door had even swung shut.' The final fight with Victoria - so gripping. ‘I closed my eyes again and wondered what Edward had felt as he stood on that beach and destroyed Victoria.' Shudder. "He watched the flames and it was like he'd lost instead of won." Heartclench. "Even then he wouldn't say your name. And if anyone else did ... he sort of winced, like it hurt him." Exactly what Bella went through, only somehow it's worse because their separation was his own choice. Just when I think it can't get any sadder it does: "Sam said, ‘Where are you going now?' - and Cullen just shrugged and said, ‘Away'. Then he just put his head down and walked."
"Yesterday morning." So %^&* close!
You know, I love that in your story the Cullens weren't fooled into ignoring the other two vampires from James' coven. That was a huge, almost unforgiveable mistake for them in the books.
Don't really understand why she didn't choose to send a letter/package to Edward anyway. Granted, she can't be sure he'll accept it from his lawyers, but who knows whether he'd be able to resist seeing what she had to say? Maybe at some level she just wasn't able to face the possibility of rejection again.
"I wish I could have held you when it was over ... and I could have saved you." Sniffle. I love what she said about how she's been listening more clearly to what he had said.
‘He sighed and his whisper was so soft I thought perhaps I wasn't meant to hear it. "Now I'm home."' Wonderful. And ‘He'd told me once, as he curled around me, nuzzling my neck, that he'd never been really held before ... until I did.' Sad conclusion that he would avoid his family now more than ever.
Oh, she's so sure she's going to see him in Seattle. But then ‘He was going to disappear.' This is so vivid: ‘I didn't cry, I didn't think, I couldn't even feel. I was nothing. Empty. Hollow. He was gone.' All over again.
Totally shocked: ‘Standing at the edge of the woods, in the softly falling snow, was Edward Cullen.' O.M.F.G.!
Great job on this chapter.
Author's Response: Thank you very much, glad you enjoyed.
Reviewer: renee aubin (Signed) · Date: June 26, 2011 10:24 PM · On: Chapter 8: The Gift Box
There is something totally creepy about encountering a creature of the night in a place as mundane as a grocery store. Her litany of all the places she can get to Bella - shudder. Such a good point that James' scar would mean so much to her.
"You're his mate, you always will be." From a different person in a different context, this would be exactly what she wants to hear - but not now and not from Victoria.
‘And that meant that for as long as she was after me I couldn't look for him.' Oh no. When she's finally making some progress she has to quit. Heart wrenching when she has to destroy her hard-won clues.
Excellent timing for Jake to reveal his gift! The cavalry indeed. I enjoyed that he continued to play little-brother-Jake, trying to divert Bella's attention while "baby sitting" her. Callum must be a little ... shocked. And poor clueless Charlie, oblivious to the world he'd brought Bella into.
The wolf bodyguard wherever she goes - as effective as a pack of Cullens. Just not as pretty. "This is what we do, Bella..." Love that line, you used it perfectly!
Oh geez, Victoria in her room - so much worse than Riley. And then to deduce that Edward was actually looking for Victoria, ugh.
A different kind of torture to have to pretend everything's fine while visiting her mother. And yet Renee spots the car tracking them. ‘I thought how funny it was that she'd turned into a mother after I'd left home.' Excellent.
Fun snooping through an antique shop with a vampire - I wonder how many things he spotted that were identified incorrectly.
"I wish I could have been there for you when Edward left." Of course she wishes that, but Bella is too raw to be hearing this now. "It's a good thing you didn't get too serious." This conversation is almost as bad as the "virgin" talk with Charlie. But it brings back Edward's words and makes her consider whether he really did feel "that way" about her.
Truly a 17 year old boy, flexing his bicep to impress his girlfriend. Cute. Yummy that she gets to explore his arms and shoulders in the T shirt. The tickling is always a good excuse... ‘"It felt nice though," he smiled shyly.' Aww. And like wrestling, you never know quite how it will end up. ‘...he managed a smile even though his bottom lip was clamped firmly between his teeth.' Promising! Oh, and so sweet that she's moved to say "I love you" at that moment.
‘"You have no idea." But maybe now I did.' Well worth a couple of crispy eggs.
Love the last line!
Wonderful progress triggered at unexpected times and places.
Author's Response: Thank you so much. Yeah, I kind of liked the idea of Victoria turning up in the supermarket - it was that whole idea that Bella wasn't safe anywhere, even in a supermarket in the middle of the day. And creepy was definitely what I was going for, so I'm glad that came across :)
And yes, he was flexing his biceps to impress her. And he tickled her. Lots of fun writing that scene.
Reviewer: renee aubin (Signed) · Date: June 22, 2011 08:17 AM · On: Chapter 7: Sentimental Vampire (angelicwish)
Great chapter title. Sigh, I love how Bella is learning to appreciate what Edward has done for her out of love, instead of letting her own sense of inadequacy drive her to fight him every step of the way. ‘Even in his absence he was trying to keep me safe.' Even Charlie would appreciate that.
Enjoyed Bella's internal dialog re her understandable impulse to get in her battered truck and drive straight to the bookseller's in Seattle. ‘I was doing exactly the thing Edward had spent seventy eight thousand dollars trying to stop.'
Ha ha, a conversation between the car-obsessed and car-indifferent is never going to go well. Yes, he is such a guy!
This is sensational: ‘"I would go anywhere with you, Edward Cullen." His amber eyes, happy and warm, melted into mine as he offered me that crooked smile.' I'm so glad that your Bella is thoughtful enough to be sweet to Edward. Book Bella was usually too self-involved to even notice the opportunities. I often thought she didn't deserve him, but for different reasons than she was always obsessing about.
Excellent conversation about how he passes for different ages, loved his demonstration of how to look 25. And Edward in glasses - why am I drooling? (Although I'd go for black horn-rimmed.) Also the insightful, uneasy shiver where she realizes he's acting 17. Lovely reminder of his ease with her, that he can just be himself - what a gift that must be.
‘...he grabbed his knee and pulled his leg up to rest under his chin, hugging it there.' Snicker - something to hide, Edward?
‘A week later he was gone.' Oh, that just makes my heart drop into my stomach. ‘For some reason that image, of Edward with his list, asking for it to be filled, made me want to cry.' Yes, heart broken, hope gone, he's still determinedly going about making her life better.
Wow, his lawyers, what a great lead - finally! But then I didn't understand this: ‘I was struck with an idea that was so right, so perfect, that my whole body just froze for a second, my breath stopped and my heart stilled as I let it sink in.' What was the deal with the prom shoes of death? Maybe she was interrupted by Callum's call and she'll get back to her great idea later?
I enjoy your realistic teenage boy touches with Callum - still in bed at noon. Nice line: "But you love him and sometimes that makes people do stupid things." Wow, I wasn't expecting him to have a link to the Quileutes ... I wonder if his great grandmother was there during the time when the Cullens and the tribe made their treaty.
Charming story about Port Angeles and the ice cream. Loved his reaction when she licked the drips from around the cone, LOL. Even more I liked her enjoyment of watching him jog across the park. ‘I could just imagine what he looked like when he was chasing down his prey.' Dang it, drooling again.
"I'm sitting here, in a park, looking at the view with my girlfriend and she's eating the ice cream I've bought her." He shrugged again. "I'm just happy." Aww, happy Edward!
Victoria! And no Cullens anywhere on the horizon to help out... As far as I can tell, this Bella has no clue about the wolves yet either. Nasty cliffie.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for another lovely review. Bella's sudden idea and the prom shoe box...she had a great idea, a perfect idea for getting her message across to Edward via his lawyers, so that he would understand that she understood. I can't remember exactly now, but I think she was going to take a photo of herself wearing the swan necklace and she went rummaging through her closet to find the camera Charlie had given her on her disastrous birthday. I think she was also planning to send him her list of things that she'd written down that she knew about him, and she was going to send him the empty Tiffany box that her Swan necklace had come in, and she was going to put it all in the fancy shoe box her prom shoes had been in (like it was a symbolic acceptance of prom and acknowledgement of his intentions when he took her there). She was sort of making up a hamper to show him she understood, and that she loved him. She was also going to include a photo of herself wearing her swan necklace. But then she got interrupted by Callum's call and things went downhill from there. Of course later, when she called the lawyers they advised that they wouldn't pass anything on to clients without opening it first etc, so she wouldn't have wanted to persue the idea anyway.
Reviewer: renee aubin (Signed) · Date: June 21, 2011 09:52 PM · On: Chapter 6: Gothic Romance
Well we can breathe a little better once Callum says he won't tell anyone ... but he really thinks he's warning her of something she doesn't know!
Makes perfect sense that his archaeologist father would have an interest in myths and legends. Ooh, I wonder if Callum will find out about the wolves, too - he'll think he's hit the jackpot in Forks!
You did a great job with Callum's dad's files. He was awfully thorough, and there's no other way Bella would ever get this info. Well, maybe Carlisle has his own files but he wouldn't be sharing them. ‘I was pretty sure Edward wouldn't want me to know.' Yeah. That last witness statement is pretty chilling, hard to imagine our Edward doing that, and yet we know he's perfectly capable of it.
This is a good statement of the key concept: "I mean, yes, he is dangerous, but he chooses not to be..." Not surprising that Callum is having so much trouble accepting Bella's faith in Edward. Shocking when she suddenly decides to show him the scar from James - I bet she never expected to relive that incident on purpose. Funny that Callum misunderstands what she means by what she can see in Edward's eyes. Groan, he has to ask why Edward left - but I like his question about what she'll do if Edward still thinks she's better off without him - and her grown-up answer.
"It seems like you get yourself into trouble pretty easily, or trouble finds you." Snicker - this kid's quick. Creepy story about his dad's student getting too close to the wrong vampires. So easy to imagine that.
Love her insight about how her constant refrain of "You won't hurt me" could have sounded to Edward. Heck, it was never clear to me that she really understood what they were.
Delicious stories of Edward helping her regain use of her muscles after the cast came off. The broken leg might have been worth it for the physical therapy...with warmed fingers, yet. And kissing her scars - not only sweet but sexy as hell.
"It's too early in the morning for conversation with a pedantic vampire." Excellent. I liked the way he handled their disagreement over her using the stairs. He learned how to back off a little, thank God. She, on the other hand, could have accepted his help for a couple of days without her autonomy being threatened. "And you think you can stop me?" Pretty funny!
Oh, the $78,000 was for the library donation, not a car. Nice!
OK, 1901 is the year Edward was born. 1987 - must be Bella's birth year? Shivery!
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I had a lot of fun writing the info in Callum's dad's files - the eye witness account of vigilante Edward, so I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Reviewer: renee aubin (Signed) · Date: June 18, 2011 06:21 PM · On: Chapter 5: Serious Intentions
A seamless insertion into canon, the Tiffany box: ‘He'd had this in his pocket that morning. This was my birthday gift.' So sad, especially the thought of him leaving it under the flooboard, never having given it to her.
A lovely idea, designing a locket with a swan motif.
Sweet moment in the kitchen with Edward being inept at making popcorn.
Ah, the lock of hair. There's something downright shivery about thinking of having strands of that hair in her locket. This is dead on: ‘I wondered what I would have done if he'd actually given it to me. I felt sick at the thought that I would have probably refused and handed it back to him unopened.' And ‘Edward had seen a future for us.'
Amazing that she doesn't quickly figure out how, in these cash-poor times, the Forks library is suddenly improved.
Hmm, Callum is very accommodating. Turns out Bella can be charming, who knew? And of course, he loves the technical challenge. I like her good judgment about not pursuing the credit card number - at least not until she feels a little more desperate.
Aww, so desolate seeing the Cullen house all closed up, all the memories just kind of bouncing off. Almost like seeing the meadow in winter with Laurent.
Such a perfect observation of high school social dynamics - Callum taking Bella into the kitchen to help with the popcorn, causing gossip. But how exciting, the little clues from the credit card purchases!
Oh, shoot, photos from Angela's video project. Again, little glimpses into another missing moment from the books - the Cullens' time in Forks before Bella's arrival. ‘He was stunning. Even scowling, he was stunning. And he'd been mine.' Ouch, ouch, ouch. Thank goodness she wasn't in the room with everyone else. "He started smiling when Bella arrived." How heartbreaking to hear that now. Lovely insightful observation from Angela: "I think he was just really shy. And sort of lost." And I loved Eric and Angela's observation that on the bowling trip Edward was checking out Bella's ass!!
OMG, Lauren: "I never understood the attraction with Bella." When she knows Bella is in the house somewhere? Then the candid photo of Edward and Bella: ‘The love that was written across his features, the devotion, was so deep, so beautiful, it almost hurt to look at it.' Wow.
And finally Callum: "Bella, you didn't tell me Edward was a vampire." WTF - how did he figure that out?
Author's Response: Thank you! I've just read through all your reviews and I truly appreciate your lovely words and feedback. I had so much fun writing this story, thinking of all the little details and events that would have made up their summer, and sending Bella on her search for Edward. I'm glad you liked the scenes with Tanya, I particularly enjoyed writing those.
Thanks again :)
Reviewer: renee aubin (Signed) · Date: June 17, 2011 11:13 PM · On: Chapter 4: Therapy with the Vampire
This is such a tough moment, the beautiful female vampire having Edward's car, wearing his jacket. It never even crossed my mind that Edward might have been in the car, I wonder why. I love that Bella musters the certainty that ‘what was happening right across the street was not what it looked like.' Good for her.
‘I felt small and inadequate and just a little bit nervous.' Just a little bit?? I guess I'm nervous enough for both of us! Good point, that her distinctive scent would have been recognizable from Edward's car.
OMG, "What did you do to Edward Cullen?" That's a shock, but it's nice that they're concerned about his welfare.
‘I wondered briefly at the wisdom of getting into a car with two vampires I didn't know...' Shaking my head, that's our Bella all right. Although I have to say, if the monster from "Alien" had asked me to get into that car, I'd have done it. Like the Cullen house in Forks, that Volvo is its own character in the story. Definitely unsettling to feel ‘like a visitor in my own home' in his car.
‘"I've met scarier vampires than you," I whispered.' Love it. ‘...the subject and mood had changed sharply in a way that could only mean a vampire was leading the conversation.' Bella's experience is really paying off now.
You did a nice job with Tanya - I just want to smack her but she's not "over the top". ‘I hated the thought that she'd probably seen more of Edward than I had...' Grrr.
How painful to have to relive the history of Edward's desertion with these strangers. And so hard to hear how "shattered" he was. "We assumed you'd left him." I wonder what the Denalis thought about that, whether they were stunned that anyone could walk out on Edward, or whether they thought ‘typical flaky human'.
"Contact two or three times a year is what we call a close relationship." Interesting.
"He would have liked to get you something. Edward has a very generous nature..." Oh, sad.
"...do you really think you can love him properly, the way he needs to be loved?... because you let yourself get in the way." Stunning. It's almost like they shook Bella until her teeth rattled. But then she rightly says that they don't understand, even if she stops pursuing him he will never get over this. Wow, Tanya's parting line, unexpected: "Bella, if you do find him, please, let him love you."
Loved the little flashback vignette in the movie theater. ‘I turned around and in the dark his anxiety had been replaced with the most smug, crooked smile I'd ever seen.' Wonderful.
Therapy with the vampire, indeed - so great that she finally gets it! Thank goodness she regrets how she behaved about her birthday party - I wanted to throttle her in the book. ‘I'd scoffed and rolled my eyes and denied ... treating his words, his love, like they meant nothing.' One of the things that most bugged me about book Bella is how she routinely passed up opportunities to be thoughtful and loving to Edward.
This is so good: ‘When I found Edward I was going to throw my arms around him, and hug him, and never let him go. I'd let him love me. He could buy me presents, tell me I was beautiful, and I'd never ask him to change me again. Because I realised as I headed towards home, that I'd rather have eighty years with Edward, than spend eternity with him thinking he'd jeapordised his soul, or mine. I knew now, I would die for Edward Cullen.' Sigh.
Reviewer: renee aubin (Signed) · Date: June 16, 2011 09:35 PM · On: Chapter 3: Patience
Hmm, interesting that she speculates on whether Edward might be alone. Enjoyed her hope that Alice would see her decision, skip the waiting, and CALL. Sigh, not to be.
Funny first meeting between Bella and Callum. This is actually an interesting insight into Bella: "It's only my second day here, I'm trying to make a cool impression, and you've discovered my dorky side in like, three minutes." Hmm. Jessica, on the other hand, is so totally obvious trying to get his attention.
Oh, wow, an actual field trip to Alaska. Bella is definitely stepping out of her comfort zone.
Loved the memory of when Bella was recovering from Phoenix. ‘[Edward] had been up and down like this, to varying degrees, ever since he'd saved me from James two weeks before.' I bet - the angst and self-blame would have been off the scale. How sweet that he went to all the trouble to raid the Port Angeles library, when it would have been so much simpler to buy the books, because he knew Bella would fuss about him spending money. And the idea of having Edward read to her - yummy.
What a discouraging search in Alaska. And then such a shock when Edward Cullen's Volvo practically drops out of the sky! What an evil cliffhanger - I'm so glad I'm reading this when the next chapter is already available!
Reviewer: renee aubin (Signed) · Date: June 15, 2011 10:37 PM · On: Chapter 2: And So It Begins
Such a different dynamic, Bella pulled out of the well of her own hurt by her concern over what Edward is going through. Great idea.
"You are in so much trouble," (looking at his picture) - love it.
Good job conveying why this is such a monumental task. Bella's internal dialog as she wrestles with hope and discouragement and determination is very believable, and the tiny steps toward an answer are intriguing. The subscription idea is clever!
Aww, sniffle, the "things not on my list".
This is excellent: ‘He had told me every day that he loved me...How must he have felt when I'd believed his lie so easily? It must have crushed him.' I love how your Bella gains so many insights into Edward. ‘Edward needed me strong, because I was pretty sure he wouldn't be, when I found him.' A much-needed role reversal, a relationship that runs both ways.
‘I'd been used to pushing away the Edward memories, but now that they'd been unlocked and allowed out, they came at me, loud and clear, everywhere I went.' What a tough thing to cope with. And yet she is suddenly so much more alive.
Wow, finally getting to the point where crying actually provides some relief, makes her feel better. Progress.
Amusing girl talk with Angela and Jess re the new guy. ‘"Can we talk about the Cullens now?" she asked in all innocence.' Now everyone is seeing the sudden change in Bella.
‘I ... waited, watching his back, the gentle roll of his shoulders and the sway of his hips as he moved slowly, gracefully, along the shelves.... It was lovely watching Edward from behind, I wondered if he knew that.‘ Oh, yummm. You're one of those authors who has a gift for describing the physical lusciousness that is Edward/Rob. You're also good at capturing the balance of intensity, playfulness, and careful limits in their flirting.
Enjoyed the little incident where he has to rescue the Vanquish keys from Emmett.
Oh, international. How discouraging - it's a big world!
But surely when Alice gets the gift card, she'll get in touch...
Reviewer: renee aubin (Signed) · Date: June 15, 2011 05:45 PM · On: Chapter 1: Look Out Below
Wonderful evocation of Bella's state of mind, and how she's trying to cooperate with Charlie's attempts to cheer her up. All the "...without him" phrases. Yeah, Volvo commercials. ‘He wasn't everywhere.' Terrific.
She's really trying to cooperate with Charlie's attempts to cheer her up, including Jacob's presence. ‘I worked at my expression until I was finally satisfied I had something resembling a smile...' I like this Jacob, he honestly tries to help. I liked book Jacob too when he was at this guileless stage. ‘He'd seen me at my worst...but he didn't treat me with wary looks or awkward, loaded silences.'
"Not the Fishing Digests!" Snicker. Sigh, the Seventeen magazines. I guess we have to give Jessica credit for making the attempt, she just didn't seem to have the personal depth to really understand.
But there are land mines everywhere. ‘Memories tried to creep in, another hand, cold, icy - yet it had always seemed warm when it would wrap tenderly around mine.'
‘The thought of feeling this way, living with the loss and longing, trying to mask it with distractions every day for the rest of my life, was unbearable.' Shudder. ‘Was my only prospect for the future to be the mad old lady of Forks who hung around waiting for her lost love to return?' All too easy to imagine. The flush of anger seems like a good sign.
You do such a great job with the memories that come back to Bella. The 4th of July celebration could have come right out of the books. It is delightful to get moments from that "lost summer" between prom and her birthday. Their story about the milennium celebration in Sydney was fun, especially Edward's final remark about a girlfriend to share it with. Although they were so much more than girlfriend/boyfriend, but what other word could they use?
‘Had that really been a lie? A distraction? A novelty? It hadn't felt like it. ‘ I like that she's trusting her own intuition, her own memories.
‘He hadn't been able to erase everything.' I love these details - the scuff marks on her windowsill, the damaged Biology lab table.
Being unable to close her window - what a great marker of where her emotions really stand.
There's something so cosmic about literally being hit on the head by the falling CD! ‘Somehow I was also surrounded by the debris of my birthday.' She's been drowning in the emotional debris, now at least the tangible physical debris has showed up too - a little less crazy-making. ‘And while my mind couldn't make sense of what I was seeing, my heart closed down and wouldn't let me try.'
‘I wondered what Renee would have thought of him...' A vivid reminder of where we are in the time line.
‘No, he'd wanted to leave them here. Why?' One of the biggest mysteries in the whole series! After that, Bella's combing through her memories leads toward the answer with all the inevitability of an avalanche - so well done. ‘And now, the truth became solid and real and sure as I remembered new things, things I'd been too distracted to see before.‘ Excellent.
‘The flicker in his eyes as he'd pulled away. I'd been so distraught I hadn't understood it at the time but I understood now. It was the moment his heart had broken.' OMG, and now my heart is broken again too. ‘His beautiful eyes stared, flat and empty, out of the photo. "You'd already decided, hadn't you? It was already killing you, wasn't it?"' Sniffle.
‘Because all this time I'd been suffering, he would have been suffering, too - and would be still.' Wow, after what he'd done, she got to this compassion really quickly. Not your average 18 year old. ‘If it took the rest of my life ... I had to find him.' Yaaay, Bella!
I'm loving this premise, this twist on NM. I have to admit I've already read the whole story and now I'm going through it again to write reviews - and enjoying it just as much the second time!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! So glad you're enjoying and thank you for your detailed and thoughtful reviews :)
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