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Reviews For Stolen Souls
Reviewer: EffulgentEllie (Signed) · Date: September 07, 2014 05:22 PM · On: Chapter 30

Interesting start. I'm looking forward to reading this. Hopefully you start updating soo. :)

Reviewer: rukobee (Signed) · Date: September 03, 2013 09:10 PM · On: Chapter 30

I'm so glad I made a Twilighted account. I found your story. And I love it. I also had to go on Fanfiction and favorite it there, too! 

The person that capture my attention the most in this whole story is Rosalie. Her story is so twisted and when I think I've got an idea of who she is, you type something up and surprise me! Please, whatever you do, don't kill her.

Reviewer: Midnight Ariel (Signed) · Date: October 20, 2011 11:05 PM · On: Chapter 30

Wow a ton in this chapter. I can see why Edward never forgave himself. That is a big burden to carry around.

Reviewer: vickid (Signed) · Date: October 15, 2011 10:26 PM · On: Chapter 30

This was an absolutely amazing chapter. The fragility you portrayed Edward with was perfect. He was vulnerable and honest and he bared all.

Hope has to be enough. Because sometimes hope is all we have.

Are the bad guys recording E's time with B? Will this expose Jasper even more? How can Alice still be safe at the club?

March 14.

Mwah!

Reviewer: fprm (Signed) · Date: October 10, 2011 03:27 PM · On: Chapter 30

lonely selfish man...

Reviewer: DaSrO (Signed) · Date: October 09, 2011 05:45 PM · On: Chapter 1

I sent you an email. Wow,Im astonished by your response, you're so kind. Thank you so much...I still cant believe that I wrote to you and what you answered, just the fact that you answered makes YOU an incredible human being. The more I think about it the more it amazes me...thank you.

Reviewer: Cina24 (Signed) · Date: October 09, 2011 04:25 AM · On: Chapter 30

That had to be hard to write because it was very hard to read. It explains why Edward is so obsessed with saving bella.

Reviewer: DaSrO (Signed) · Date: October 09, 2011 04:08 AM · On: Chapter 30

Really nice chapter, very moving. My birthday is October 14th,how funny you would ask that right now hehe there is something in your chapter that just clicked with an internal decision I made tonight, and, as I dont believe in coincidences Im going to share something with you. (sorry in advance for that) Im feeling stuck in a void, much like your characters,any idea, as a writer or as an external eye, in the how to turn your life around 180º department?I think after 3 years Im finally ready to move on and start my life. I just graduated from college a month ago, and since leaving my alma mater is been even more obvious that Im no functioning (I graduated first of my class,turned down great jobs for reasons I cant even remember and have to struggle to get out of my bed,failing most days) and I decided tonight to change it.

It all started 3 years ago when in a single month my mom disappeared (after 2 months my dad and me found out she was accross the country and that she was applying for divorce), my dad had a heart attacks and a depression so severe I had to move back with him (so he could cry himself to sleep everynight on my lap,-by far the worst sight ever,Im pretty sure I lost my heart then-),my boyfriend left me after I found him kissing another guy and decided that he not only did not want to come out but that he didnt want any of our friends finding out through me so he made me look like a crazy delirious suicidal girl in an horrendous story (which ended up in me losing all of my friends, even some of my family wanted to put me in a padded room),and was diagnosed with breast C...all in a month (July). I dealed with all of that fine,went through a breast surgery(September) to remove the tumors (my family to this day thinks it was just a breast reduction). I wanted to be happy and celebrate me and my dad survived, and thats what I did.

I even fell in love with someone that I started to bump into every turn on my university. It was amazing, we even had the same birthday! we were so similar (behaviour,phisically,emotionally) it was scary,same interests,tastes,we even had the some of the same bithmarks. He's an only child too and just a week after our first date he took me to his house, where his mom received me as another child, she showed so much love and took care of me (looking back it was kind of weird). It was unbelievably perfect for a month or so. Then we started to fight a lot and he started to go crazy jealous,we were on and off for another month,it was like he was 2 different people,he would call me horrible names (for going to classes and talking with classmates) and then he would beg for forgiveness and be the sweetest man ever. After those 2months I finally broke up with him. A week after he hunted me in a parking lot, beat me down and raped me (restriction order aside,he's been stalking me all this time,last time I saw him and he tried to talk with me was 6 weeks ago). My mom came back to take care of me,and she reconciled with my dad.

Ever since I'd been living with my parents,leaving my bedroom just to go to classes and just thinking about schoolwork,academically I'd been really succesful. But I became isolated from my family,classmates and teachers,left all my extracurricular activities. I started a relationship with the smartest, sweet and funny guy I could find and we've been together for 2 years,he accomodated to my class/bedroom routine and has a lot to do with me being semi-functional. He was born with a silver spoon and 2months ago he moved 9hours away to learn his family business. Also, I gained 50pounds,so I look awful and like someone else (which really embarras me). So right now Im turning 23 and have no friends,no job,a long distance boyfriend (with no clear future in our relationship,and as Im feeling fugly a lot of insecurity issues on my side) and nothing to do to occupy my time. This is the part of the story where everything is bound to change, isnt it?what would you with that character?

 

Sorry for writing all of that,my subconscious needed me to coldly summarize everything that got me messed up, lets see if a path presents itself to my brain while Im sleeping. I need to figure out how to change this situation and get out of my bedroom and rid of all  these extra weight (in many ways). Any ideas on what to do would be highly appreciated. Tomorrow morning I'll talk with my parents.

Have a great Sunday,

Daniela



Author's Response:

Hi!

Oh my gosh. I don't know where to begin. This is, I cried. I want to talk to you, like outside of the reviews or this story. My email is nayaritism at gmail dot com. And I'm on twitter @nayaritism. However you want to get ahold of me will work. You don't even have to say anything, just send me a blank message, and I'll do the rest.

But I just wanted you to know that I think you're amazing, and so strong, to have gone through what you have, and to be SO selfless for your father, that's so completely beautiful, and that makes YOU beautiful, inside and out. I know that you might not feel that way right now, and I understand that, but it's all about perspective, and right now yours is too heavy with all the pain that life has given you to let yourself have another perspective. 

I'd love to help you find another one, or at least see mine, because what I see is someone who is brave, beyond brave, to tell a stranger everything you did, to face your ex and what he did to you. Someone who is strong because your life has been anything but easy. Someone who is compassionate, because you care so much for your father and his health and happiness. And sometimes when we put ourselves last, we lose sight of ourselves, and you need to start finding you again. 

Because I'm sure the woman you were 3 years ago isn't the woman you are now. And that's NOT a bad thing. But now you have to figure out who this woman is, and learn to love and accept her. Because she is someone WORTH loving and accepting.

Please contact me. 

My very best wishes and hopes and prayers and love.

xxNaya

Reviewer: shortycake (Signed) · Date: October 09, 2011 03:52 AM · On: Chapter 30

Aw that is such a sad story about his sister. I can't imagine how painful of an experience it would be if something happened like that to one of my siblings. Anyways, is his sister a character you just made up or is she supposed to be a certain character from the book. (ex. Sister Jane or Heidi).

 The chapter was good, However, it seemed a bit slow for me. I think it would be a lot better if there a couple point of views as well as more than one scene. Where is Alice, in all this, what is happenning at the club,with Rose and Emmett? How is Demetri and Alice's relationship thing that is happening going? Is he comforting her in all this? we are the details? 

Hopefully this can kinda give you an idea that there could possibly be more action going on. It just, you update once a month or so, and so it seems like the story is taking forever to get anywhere. When will the climax of the story come?

And one last note, it would help if you put who's POV it is, at the beggining of chapters, so readers aren't still trying to figure out  who's POV it is half way into the story. It would at least help me. Overall good chapter, it revelaed a lot about where Edward is coming from, and helped me get a better understanding about him. Your an awesome writer. 

Reviewer: jennaeve (Signed) · Date: October 09, 2011 01:54 AM · On: Chapter 30

Thanks for another Chapter - such twist and turns.  And thanks for the interview!  It is always interesting to see the writing process. 

My birthday is April 1.  April fools day!  But I am not a fool.  I prefer to think I just held out in my mom until my birthstone was a diamond.

Reviewer: princesascullen (Signed) · Date: September 19, 2011 06:35 PM · On: Chapter 29

Bella you said too much! I just can't see how things will get better for anyone. I feel so bad for Alice she really believed everything that happened to them was bad luck. I wonder if her real parents death has anything to do with this.



Author's Response:

I know it's scary how much she gave away without even knowing. And what if she gave away stuff that she didn't know about? She was down there for quite a while. Hopefully your questions will get answered soon.

Anywhoo . . . here is the teaser for chapter 30 Stolen Souls:

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea that my going to see Aro caused this. But . . . that you could think . . . you think I regret saving you . . . that I could ever . . . that simply isn't the case, and won't ever be. I am sorry for everything, and I do mean everything, Bella. But that I was the cause for your continued existence, well, then it seems I finally have done something right. The only thing in my life that I could ever actually be proud of."

Thanks for the support! xxNaya

Reviewer: Midnight Ariel (Signed) · Date: September 15, 2011 07:53 PM · On: Chapter 29

Well, it was bound to happen eventually.  Hope they pay in the end.



Author's Response:

Me too!

Anywhoo . . . here is the teaser for chapter 30 Stolen Souls:

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea that my going to see Aro caused this. But . . . that you could think . . . you think I regret saving you . . . that I could ever . . . that simply isn't the case, and won't ever be. I am sorry for everything, and I do mean everything, Bella. But that I was the cause for your continued existence, well, then it seems I finally have done something right. The only thing in my life that I could ever actually be proud of."

Thanks for the support! xxNaya

Reviewer: Cina24 (Signed) · Date: September 14, 2011 01:25 AM · On: Chapter 29

That must have been hard to write. It was definitely hard to read. You did a great job I take it the doctor is carlise. Maybe it will be calise's POV. More please

Author's Response:

The new one will be out soon!

It was definitely hard to write, but I'm glad that it seems to have served its purpose.

Anywhoo . . . here is the teaser for chapter 30 Stolen Souls:

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea that my going to see Aro caused this. But . . . that you could think . . . you think I regret saving you . . . that I could ever . . . that simply isn't the case, and won't ever be. I am sorry for everything, and I do mean everything, Bella. But that I was the cause for your continued existence, well, then it seems I finally have done something right. The only thing in my life that I could ever actually be proud of."

Thanks for the support! xxNaya

Reviewer: Canadaci (Signed) · Date: September 13, 2011 11:45 PM · On: Chapter 1

WOW, that was easy!

Reviewer: opalmoon (Signed) · Date: September 13, 2011 04:33 PM · On: Chapter 29

I hope that Carlisle's view is next.....I'd like to hear his side of all this.....



Author's Response:

I hope so too!

But whenever we do hear from him, I think it'll be good!

Thanks for reading.

Anywhoo . . . here is the teaser for chapter 30 Stolen Souls:

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea that my going to see Aro caused this. But . . . that you could think . . . you think I regret saving you . . . that I could ever . . . that simply isn't the case, and won't ever be. I am sorry for everything, and I do mean everything, Bella. But that I was the cause for your continued existence, well, then it seems I finally have done something right. The only thing in my life that I could ever actually be proud of."

Thanks for the support! xxNaya

Reviewer: fprm (Signed) · Date: September 13, 2011 01:36 PM · On: Chapter 28

Edward is sooooooooooooooo stupid it hurts...

Reviewer: shortycake (Signed) · Date: September 13, 2011 02:57 AM · On: Chapter 29

Ahh I just had to read that again, and after reading it a second time I'm not sure if I like how vague the chapter seems. It was kinda hard to understand what was happening because Bella kept going back and forth from Hallucination to reality, so it felt like nothing was really happening in the story. I guess I just like the stories that are more direct and get to the point. Not saying that I don't like this story because I do, I love it. It just seems lately that everything is progressing slowly, and it is hard to understand what is going on sometimes. I notice sometimes some chapters are told like it has aready happened and it doesn't say who's POV it is so it can get comfusing. But overall good plot, them, story. Its a good story. The narration coud use a little touch up, but overall still awesome.



Author's Response:

Hi again!

This is great feedback. About the Bella hallucination chapter, I sorta covered that in the last review reply. It was meant to read like that, because that was exactly what she was going through. She had no idea what was really going on, what was reality and what was a hallucination. That's why the quote from One Hundred Years of Solitude was used first because it explains the difference. So that hopefully the chapter made sense, if it "didn't," you know?

I don't know why the chapters feel like they're dragging. Because we're definitely in the thick of the plot now. So every chapter advances it. Hopefully the next one will be better.

The POVs are explained inside the text. I didn't like labeling them. If you pay attention to the voice of the chapter or the interactions and who they talk to or what they say then you should be able to understand whose POV it is. I'll try and make that a little more obvious. 

Thanks again for reading.

Anywhoo . . . here is the teaser for chapter 30 Stolen Souls:

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea that my going to see Aro caused this. But . . . that you could think . . . you think I regret saving you . . . that I could ever . . . that simply isn't the case, and won't ever be. I am sorry for everything, and I do mean everything, Bella. But that I was the cause for your continued existence, well, then it seems I finally have done something right. The only thing in my life that I could ever actually be proud of."

Thanks for the support! xxNaya

Reviewer: shortycake (Signed) · Date: September 13, 2011 02:47 AM · On: Chapter 29

HOLY SHIT!! Damn that was so intense. I'm assuming the chapter was her being tortured by Demitiri for what she did to Aice, and that the scenes with he dad we halucinations? Damn that book and fire would be pain as hell. Like being turned into a vampire. Please update sooner!



Author's Response:

You're right, she was being tortured by Demetri. One of the best and most effective toture methods is sleep deprivation because it puts the "victim" in a hallucinogenic state where they're most likely to reveal things and not even know that they have. It sort of has the same effects of sodium barbital. 

 

Reviewer: marie_cullen (Signed) · Date: September 13, 2011 12:03 AM · On: Chapter 29

Wow........I have no other words.......

please don't make me wait too long for another update!!  Pretty PLEASE!!  ;)



Author's Response:

The next update is on it's way!

Thanks so much for reading.

Anywhoo . . . here is the teaser for chapter 30 Stolen Souls:

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea that my going to see Aro caused this. But . . . that you could think . . . you think I regret saving you . . . that I could ever . . . that simply isn't the case, and won't ever be. I am sorry for everything, and I do mean everything, Bella. But that I was the cause for your continued existence, well, then it seems I finally have done something right. The only thing in my life that I could ever actually be proud of."

Thanks for the support! xxNaya

Reviewer: mscope (Signed) · Date: August 18, 2011 09:34 PM · On: Chapter 13

Bella was flying higher than a kite for a while there.  I actually wondered if Aro did not give her too much on purpose.  Luckily for her Edward was there to take her away to help her come down. 

Is it just me, Naya, or do your other readers feel the pull between these two?  Bella talks of being comfortable with him.  I am somewhat certain that if asked Edward would tell us he feels the same.  The time they spent together flowed quite naturally once she began to come down from her high. 

The time they spent in the room together was as if they were in a bubble.  It was just them and time stood still.  I can see them developing a routine where he comes in, pays for time with her and let the chips fall where they may.  But how long will it last before it all falls down?

Sandra



Author's Response:

Sandra!!!

Hi, I didn't even know I had all these. I'm gonna try and respond to all of these right now. Just wanted to send a quick. THANK you for them. You're awesome!

And it's definitely NOT just you chica. I'm hoping other readers feel the pull between those two. I'm hoping I wrote it that way. I wanted their connection to be SO much more than just physical. And this is the foundation of it.

 

THE BUBBLE. You are SO right. You'll see what I mean soon enough.

Thanks AS always for reading and reviewing! xxNaya

Reviewer: mscope (Signed) · Date: August 18, 2011 07:22 PM · On: Chapter 12

Holy Moly.  In a quest for answers I find more questions.  Rosalie is an enigma of sorts.  Correct me if I am wrong but part of the time she was speaking with a Russian accent and part of the time without?  We know she is Jasper's sister so unless he is Russian too this is not for real. 

I have to laugh at myself in that I was getting all comfortable with the whole undercover thought.  At one point I even thought she might be helping Jasper out but realize she was already in place when he began his quest.  But in the end she threw me for a loop with her you have no idea what I will  have to give up comment.

So once again the plot thickens.

Sandra



Author's Response:

And Rose will continue to stay an enigma in all of this. But you're right . . . the plot continues to thicken. And I like that you're still boggled with questions.

I've gotta be doing something right.

xxNaya

Reviewer: mscope (Signed) · Date: August 18, 2011 06:08 PM · On: Chapter 11

Fuck a Duck, Naya!  Shit, hope that did not offend you.  What the hell is not so Big Mike thinking?  Well you don't need to answer that because you have already told us.  What a frickin fool...I can picture him with his little jester's cap on all dancin' around look at me, look at me I am the court jester.  It is as if he has a death wish and wants to take everyone he knows down with him.  What.An.Ass.

In his eagerness to sing from the rooftops makes me wonder who else besides Edward that may have heard this conversation.   Something tells me he won't stay under the radar much longer, if at all.  How soon before they begin to keep an eye on him at the club.  And what's worse is how will this affect Bella and Alice?  So, will Big Mike with loose lips be swimming with the fish soon?  Don't answer, well unless I beg you to but I have many chapters before that happens.

And Rosalie.  We know she is dancing there.  I want to think she is like undercover or something.  And if that's the case then figgin' Loose Lips Mike may be signing her death warrant as well.  This is getting intense.

Sandra



Author's Response:

LOL, not offended AT ALL Sandra.

Quick thank you SO mofudging much for reading and reviewing again. I don't think I say that to you enough.

I loved the "look at me, look at me I am the court jester."

And it WILL be hard to stay under the radar, like this.

xxNaya

Reviewer: mscope (Signed) · Date: August 18, 2011 01:49 AM · On: Chapter 10

Fan fiction has spoiled me terribly.  I always want to hate Tanya but this is one time that I simply can not.  Here she is, no,  they are newlyweds and already there is trouble in paradise.  Makes me wonder if marriage was nothing more than a promising semblance of normalcy for Edward.   He did not go into this for the right reasons and it certainly is unfair to Tanya.  I don't know that any amount of counseling is going to repair the damage done within the boundaries of this  marriage. 



Author's Response:

I'm SO glad. I tried really hard to make Tanya real in this. I hate what fanfiction has done to her. And her semblance of normalcy with Edward in the marraige mjust got shattered.

xxNaya

Reviewer: mscope (Signed) · Date: August 18, 2011 12:28 AM · On: Chapter 9

Better safe than sorry indeed.  I do hope she will burn the letter.   If it were me I know I would want to keep it.  That is what a normal tenager does under normal circumstances.  But alas and alack Alice has no choice but to destroy this token of normalcy, this token of love.

There is the part of me that fears for Mike's return.  One would imagine that very little escapes this group of poohpahs.  And Demetri is going to be especially observant of any activity that encircles his Pixie's space.  This cannot fare well for anyone involved.  Sure Mike was willing to help for a steep price but will he sing if he gets caught?

Sandra



Author's Response:

You're SO right, it is CLASSIC for a young girl to want to keep things liek this a s a token of love. Gah, I kept the dumbest things as "tokens."

You're SO on point about Mike, and his return. Everyone will sing for a price, no? What is his . . . .

 

xxNaya

Reviewer: mscope (Signed) · Date: August 17, 2011 10:11 PM · On: Chapter 8

I swear my tears began, in earnest, the moment Mike placed the pkg in the back of her panties.  What an expression of hope.  When Bella's tears began to fall I was a total goner.

Life for these girls is anything but life.  They are nothing but a property.   If Bella can help to free Alice don't you know it will be as if all of her prayers are answered.

The future is so bleak at the moment and yet the glimpse that help could be on the way gives a ray of hope.

 



Author's Response:

Awww . . . Sandra, that's so sweet. This chapter breaks me too. It really does.

You're very right, they are nothing but property in this "life" and it's sad. I can only hope with you for them.

xxNaya

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