What erks you in fandom???

[Rachissy]

I only WISH I could orgasm on demand. How would that be?

What gets me is the seemingly copious amount of wetness Bella acquires downstairs. Every fic I read, she's drenched, dripping, soaked through not just her underwear but usually her pants too. It gets a bit excessive. I've been turned on but geez! Sometimes it sounds like she's got a gynecological condition going on.

[alexajaye]

I only WISH I could orgasm on demand. How would that be?

What gets me is the seemingly copious amount of wetness Bella acquires downstairs. Every fic I read, she's drenched, dripping, soaked through not just her underwear but usually her pants too. It gets a bit excessive. I've been turned on but geez! Sometimes it sounds like she's got a gynecological condition going on.

[tigerfly89]

1. People keep saying that because Edward wouldn't have sex with Bella before marriage that he was "trying to make decisions for her." And it bothers me because 1) People are so quick to dismiss the importance of sex to Edward (not just Bella). I mean, my God, the man waited damn near a 100 years! Why can't he give up HIS virginity on his own terms?! Maybe it's just me, but it always seems to be a given in fics (whether its vamp or human), that the only person virginity should be important to is Bella. Maybe it's because I have six brothers, but that's just not how my mom raised us. And while I don't ignore that this is frequently the reality in our society, this is not the society from which Edward came. For his time period, a truly honorable man (I realized that there were many who did not actually withhold his society's code of conduct, but everything we know about Edward says he would) would be troubled by premarital sex. Finally, if the roles were reversed in any of the methods Bella used in trying to coerce Edward to have sex with her, we'd be calling for Edward's castration. Just sayin'

2. Not really an irk, I'd just like to read one fic (just one!), where the female lead character is not waiting around for the guy she's crushing on to make the first move. It doesn't matter if the guy in the fic suffers from a debilitating condition that makes it near impossible for him to approach people, all the pressure is on him to "make the move." Not that this isn't the case most times in real life, but just once I'd like to see something different.

[Ylva]

I, too, have a problem with the "it's only Bella's consent that is required" idea that people seem to get behind. If Edward wants to wait, then Edward has the right to wait. Sex isn't something you force on people, whether or not they are a male super-strong vampire.

[Ylva]

Also, when people don't spellcheck. Because phrases like "the pours of my skin" look so freakishly awkward.

[tigerfly89]

Also, when people don't spellcheck. Because phrases like "the pours of my skin" look so freakishly awkward.

LMAO! Imagining that how it's actually written is pretty freaking grotesque! But, I agree. People need to get Beta's in general. I hate when the plot is really good but the grammar is so bad that I can't read it. A few of my pet peeves are below.

Your/You're
When people misspell definitely on FF and it's changed to defiantly.
When people write "should of" instead of "should have/should've"
Improper vernacular - e.g. when they are supposed to be living in Washington state but their calling their mom's "mum" and calling the shopping cart a "trolley." I think the worse was when I read a story where Bella for some apparent reason had a southern vocabulary and used southern expressions even though she lived in, and grew up in, Washington state. She used more "hey y'alls" than Paula Deen.

And finally, it's not really a grammar thing (though it kinda is) the use of the word "infinitesimal." I've seen this word in like a million FFs. I know, I know! SM used it herself. But, I'm not sure most of these FF writers (or hell, SM either), know what the hell it means!

[Longing for Edward]

.
The one that annoys me is: their, there and they're. I understand that they sound the same but their meanings are not even close to the same.

I agree with the need for having a beta. I have offered to at least one of my favorite authors that I would - "Americanize" her story. I am in no way qualified to correct punctuation or more than just basic grammar but I am good at spelling and keeping things American.

I wish sometimes authors would just move the location if they are not familiar with Americanisms. It is better for the setting and the vernacular to match. When they don't it can become a distraction.
.

[alexajaye]

Oh, the little things definitely bother me. I'm a stickler for grammar, mechanics and typography. And when a writer puts in their notes that all their mistakes are theirs because they have no beta, it just says to me they're too lazy to check for mistakes. This might not always be the case, but if I'm going to have any pride in my work at all, I at least go through it with a pen to make sure everything looks ok before I post it.

I've read stories where no attention was paid to those details, and after the fifth or sixth time, I had to stop reading because I couldn't stay in the story without noticing all the mistakes. I can't go and say that my stories are all shining examples of the great American novel, but at least I try.

Now, as far as the way my characters speak, I know nothing of slang or dialect when it comes to a foreign country, but I know what it's not very common for people in certain areas to sound a certain way - like when Jasper still sounds like a southern gentleman even though he grew up in California, and when Carlisle is from Chicago, but sounds like he's from London.

And don't get me started on all the down-home cookin', swearin', and all the lovin' that has a tendency to spoil everything about how a story is supposed to feel.

I don't know how people from the country talk when they come from Washington, but my aunt is from there, and she doesn't talk like me at all - and I'm from the south just like my uncle who's her husband. He lived there with her for years before moving back here, and he doesn't sound like me either. They don't talk like me at all.

[Ambray]

It's mostly in other fandoms where reviews are a little more sparse, but it's seen in Twidom, too.

When a author asks for reviews in their notes at the start/end, I wouldn't say begging but definitely strongly asking for them, then not taking the time to reply to them.

I say this in instances of when they may only get like 20 a chapter max or around that mark. Then the next chapter they are thanking those that reviewed but saying how they have more hits than they do reviews and pleading for reviews.

I don't mind it too much, especially in other fandoms because they really don't get nearly as much as Twilight fics do. But I don't like it when I do review and I don't head anything from the author.
If they are going to put the effort they do to ask so much for them, I would just like to hear back from them. Even if it's just as simple as a copy and pasted message that said "Thank you for reading".

[Sylvianna]

Orgasms on demand.

That plus it happening during Bella's first time. And Bella giving the best BJ Edward's ever had during Bella's second time. And them always following the same order: mouth, neck, breasts, fingers to her downstairs and first orgasm for her (obviously with Edward telling Bella when to come), hand to his downstairs if he's not very desperate, penetration and finally the second orgasm, also when Edward says so.

Moreover, characters never have something they particularly like. I don't know but I can tell at least one thing about every guy that I've been with which is different from what the next liked... a certain touch, a certain body part, etc. In Edward's case, the only thing that works for him besides the obvious downstairs "thingy" is the hair but that's really more of Bella's obsession. There is never something he particularly likes that is different. It's another way in which authors don't actually get into Edward's head, as I've said before.

I'm thinking lately that if FF was my husband I would be considering a fling to fight the monotone sex... I don't even know which is more monotone anymore, the "vanilla" one or the "spicy" one (aka stories *advertised as* BDSM).