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Other Results: 11 Series
 
 
Stories
Summary: Emmett buys stuff off of the internet. Esme gets mad. Inspired by a drive on the New Jersey Turnpike.
Categories: Crackfic Characters: Carlisle, Emmett, Esme
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 622
[Report This] Published: September 21, 2008 Updated: September 21, 2008


Summary:

Now, I love every single one of the Twilight characters, especially angsty, overprotective Edward, but let's face it - sometimes they can go overboard. This is a parody of the characters' personalities.

 


Categories: Eclipse, Crackfic Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Mike, Rosalie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Completed: No Word count: 6030
[Report This] Published: August 26, 2008 Updated: September 19, 2008


Summary:

What will happen when new girl, Isabella Swan, comes to Forks High and sees the 'dahhottestguyeva' Edward Cullen? Will she compare her and him to the greatest novel ever, twilight? And what if she randomly gets into the volvo and crashes into James?

**This is completely stupid crackfic.**


Categories: Crackfic Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Eric, James, Jasper, Jessica, Mike, Nessie
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 624
[Report This] Published: September 07, 2008 Updated: September 08, 2008


Brotherhood by blondie, Roo Rated: PG-13 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 98]
Summary:

The Cullen boys go hunting. Jasper can't stop quoting the Princess Bride, Emmett can't stop quoting Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Edward, rather put out, responds with Shakespeare. Hilarity ensues! Cowritten with the awesomely funny Roo and the Edward-centric blondie!

Amazingly in canon - believe it or not!


Categories: Eclipse, Crackfic Characters: Edward, Emmett, Jasper
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes Word count: 9835
[Report This] Published: June 12, 2008 Updated: August 04, 2008


Summary: Bella has a slight medical, personal problem and is forced to talk to the last person on earth she wants to, her fiance's father. Things get carried away, and Edward and the rest of the Cullens get involved in Edward's accidental humiliation of dear Bella by using proper vocabulary.
Categories: Crackfic Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward
Challenges:
Series: Insanity Within Vampires
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 1885
[Report This] Published: July 30, 2008 Updated: July 30, 2008


Summary:

Final Authors' Note

Roo: (stunned) So I just finished reading Breaking Dawn…

Marcy: (stunned) Erm…me too…

Roo: Wow. We thought that we had a hilarious joke going on.

Marcy: The worst plot idea imaginable.

Roo: “Pregnant vampire Bella joins the army.”

Marcy: Stephenie Meyer outdid us, crackfic wise.

Roo: She gave us “Pregnant human Bella gets a half-vamp mutant torn from her womb as Edward chews through her placenta before turning into a vampire anddefeating the army.”

Marcy: That makes our story look pretty tame and believable.

Roo: All that silliness that we came up with about Bella being a mind-shield and the Volturi being afraid of her…

Marcy: Who could have forseen that that was actually TRUE?? Unbelievable…

Roo: I was going to have Jake imprint on Jane, thinking that it would be funny and outrageous.

Marcy: Little did we know that Jake would imprint on the infant half-vamp mutant torn from Bella’s womb. Jake gets paired with Edward’s kid?? That takes "outrageous" to a whole new level.

Roo: And so the puppy fell in love with the baby sea monster.

Marcy: Stupid crackbook. Sick maschoistic readers.

Roo: Raises questions about what half-werewolf/shapeshifter, quarter-human, quarter-vampire people would be like. Ew.

Marcy: One of those aliens from “The Host” must have snatched Stephenie Meyer’s body. It’s the only explanation for how bizarre Breaking Dawn was.

Roo: The staff at “Twilighted” said that if someone had submitted Breaking Dawn as a fanfic that they would have put it in the “Alternative Universe” or “Crackfic” sections.

Marcy: Probably “Crackfic.”

Roo: So anyways…there’s not really a point in continuing this story any more now is there?

Marcy: Probably not. We’ve been outcracked.

Roo: So we’re jumping ship.

Marcy: Yep.

Roo: But fret not, faithful readers!! More crack will be coming your way!

Marcy: New realms of weirdness wait in our imagination! Now that NOTHING would surprise us, we know no limits!

Roo: Angela could be a witch!

Marcy: Ben could be the invisible man!

Roo: Mike Newton could be a merman!

Marcy: The Cullens could take Nessie trick-or-treating!

Roo: Hey! That sounds like a GREAT idea for a fic!

Marcy: It will be our next project!

Both: MWA HA HA HA HA!!


Categories: Crackfic Characters: Bella
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Completed: No Word count: 16540
[Report This] Published: June 08, 2008 Updated: July 19, 2008






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